The Waiting Game: Fragments.

Wunderlist tells me we have completed 53 to-dos under the “MiniMagpie” category.  The three left un-ticked (“order announcements!”; “add you to our insurance policy!”; “remind grandparents about TDAP!”) will be completed after your birth.

I see your bassinet first thing every morning.  It has been sitting empty, clean-sheeted, anxious for your arrival, in our bedroom for four months.

I sometimes wander into your room with no agenda at all, wondering if I’ve forgotten something, missed something–but feeling, oddly, as if I’m missing you.

At night, I wake up every two hours or so, and you’re always the first thing on my mind.  I feel you move; I fret over your upcoming arrival; I hoist myself out of bed uncomfortably; I stare at your profile from a sonogram I saved on my phone; I remind myself to say a rosary during the c-section; I wonder what your cry will sound like; I want so badly to hold you.

I talk to your grandmother daily, pestering her with questions she can’t answer, like what you will look like and whether you will try to come early.

I feel a lump in my throat every time your dad calls you by name and rests his hand on my stomach.  He calls us “his banshees.”  The other day, he saw me sitting next to our dog, and intoned: “My three girls!”

I cry on your dad’s shoulder–tears of anxiety, of love, of impatience, of excitement.

I can’t stop looking at the entry on my Google calendar for this Sunday, March 5th, at 9:30 A.M.: “Baby Girl Arrives!  Scheduled C-Section.”  Something so un-befitting, flimsy, even laughable, about seeing that little block of blue on my calendar, a pathetically puny digital reminder of the enormity of change it heralds.

Baby girl, I am ready for you.

xoxox

Me

Until you are ready to come, though: 10 things.

And P.S. — I continue to revisit my thoughts on parenting as I anxiously await your arrival.

Pick 1: The “It” Book.

This book by the former editor of Lucky magazine is the talk of the fashion world — I first spotted it in an Instastory from Eva Chen, and then was further drawn in by its description on Grace Atwood’s February Reading List blogpost.  Described enticingly as “a candid and darkly humorous memoir of prescription drug addiction and self-sabotage, set in the glamorous world of fashion magazines and downtown nightclubs,” I can’t wait to sink into this.

Pick 2: The Party Sandal.

These chunky, bedazzled sandals ($498) are ready for a party.

Pick 3: The Statement Bathing Suit.

I’m in love with this palm print one-piece ($195) from line Onia.  Lucky for us, there are a few more affordable versions out on the market: this $120 Seea style and this $84 CHLDR lovely.  I feel like these suits were made for frayed straw hats like this Preston + Olivia beauty ($205)

Pick 4: The Fashionable Dog Collar.

How pretty is this Rifle Paper-esque dog leash ($35) from Etsy store Ginger Wonders?  (Also love this rose dotted one.  All leashes have coordinating collars available, too.)  We currently use this Harry Barker personalized style for Tilden, but I’m thinking she might need a little spring sprucing…

Pick 5: The Monogrammed Good.

Gosh, do I love a good monogram.  When I came across these monogrammed tissue covers ($24) from Etsy store The Happy Crabbers, I knew I needed one.  I love the linen fabric and those heirloom-style monograms, and even just the blue colors of the embroidery set my heart in a happy dance.

Pick 6: The Beauty Obsession.

I’ve read about this lip mask from KNC Beauty in a few spots and am intrigued.  It apparently combats parched, cracked lips (hello, winter in Chicago) with a collagen-infused formula that makes your lips tingle and then leaves them baby soft.  I’m game.  (Other beauty intrigues: I’m also considering a keratin treatment for my hair, and I want to try LashFood once #minimagpie arrives.  It’s supposed to stimulate eyelash growth/re-growth, and mine could use a boost after living with eyelash extensions for awhile.  I’m taking a break from those and now I’m depressed.  But all of the guides say they don’t recommend lashfood for pregnant ladies because it’s not been tested for safety.  So, ho-hum.)

Pick 7: The New Label.

Have you heard of the line Athena Procopiou?  I’M OBSESSED.  The prettiest prints, the floatiest shapes.  I want to vacation in one of their pretty caftans/dresses, like this one ($498).  Maybe with this hat (LOL — $150) from spunky line Poolside.

Pick 8: The Prettiest China.

I’m in love with this chinoiserie china from Reynaud ($53+ depending on piece).  (In a similar vein: these dinner plates also stopped me in my tracks, and these inexpensive melamine plates from Pier 1 would be lovely for a picnic/BBQ.)

Pick 9: The Party Gear.

Speaking of an outdoor BBQ/picnic, I love these cheeky cocktail napkins from the party store Betsy White ($10/pack).  Also check out their spunky balloons.

Pick 10: The Budget Buy Area Rug.

This area rug is literally PERFECT for our dining area — I’ve been casually browsing for something for AGES and I love the pattern and especially the price on this overdyed Persian style ($205 for an 8×10!!)

Final Snags for #MiniMagpie…

In waiting for #mini, I’ve of course had many sleepless nights (often re-watching Downton Abbey and ordering “things I need” from Amazon Prime).  A few of my last minute finds:

+My dear girlfriend just gave birth to the cutest boy (the one who had the bris that moved me so deeply) — he’ll be exactly 1 month older than my #mini.  I visited her recently and she said these little booties ($16-$24 depending on color) are the only shoes that stay on her son’s feet, and he loves having them on.  I ordered ’em in the lime green.  These striped ones by the same brand are also pretty cute.

+Seeing her son up close, I’m now getting a sense for why baby nail-cutting is such an anxiety-inducing task.  Their nails are so thin and small!  I have these nail scissors ($7) but also ordered some baby emory boards ($6), which seem even easier to use.

+I ordered this all-natural baby cream bath ($11) after reading many, many, many amazing reviews.  In general, people go nuts over Weleda.  I received multiples of their diaper rash cream at my shower.

+I finally found a nursing cover I like — this simple black and white star-print one ($20).  So many of the other ones looked a little…hippie dippie to me.  This one feels urban-cool-hip…also, black and white prints are strongly encouraged for newborns since they can’t see much but they do like high contrast patterns.

+In a similar vein, I snagged these black and white art cards ($15) after my girlfriend with the newborn showed me hers.  I’ve read it can be good to put up around baby while doing tummy time — that, or a simple mirror, which another girlfriend recommended.