I wrote a few weeks ago about the best gifts my husband has ever given me, and one of them – perhaps the pinnacle – was “patience and gentleness when I’m at my worst (the softest kind of love).”
I’ve been thinking about the concept of soft love this week, and there are many kinds of love, I think. Or at least several. Because there is the stern kind of love — “badly done, Emma,” “I love you but if you’re going to do that to yourself, you can’t do it here,” etc. And there is also the WD-40 kind of love — your Dad picking weeds in your yard, the doorknob handle mysteriously fixed. There is also the kind of love that shows up, but wordlessly, without ever offering anything that looks like affection: a steady presence that demonstrates you matter.
And then there is soft love. Soft love is gentleness when you’re at your worst. It is warm, radiating companionship that asks for nothing. It is “here, put your feet in my lap.” It is the sound of solidarity a friend makes when you’re crying on the sofa: “ughhh, I know,” or “mmmm,” or the clicking of the tongue that says “this really sucks” or “I can’t believe this is happening to you.” It is watchful, warm attention. It is using the first person plural when you expect the singular: “we’ll figure this out” and “let’s get to the bottom of this.” It is your grandmother sitting with you at the card table in the backyard and showing you, for the sixth or sixteenth time, how to play the card game, without every betraying frustration. It is your clothing lovingly laundered and folded and returned to its drawer. It is “take as long as you need.” It is the person who makes you realize: “I’m not weird after all.” It is the feeling of tilting back against your beloved’s body in a crowd, and having him receive you. It is “Let’s take the long way home.” It is the wordless hand hold when you need it. It is waiting for someone to do something on her own timetable, with no exasperated commentary or expedition. It is roundly accepting someone’s special ways of being. It is a receiving energy. It is the open-hearted look your husband gives you while tilting his head, waiting a tic before asking: “What is it, Jennie?”
Post-Scripts.
+There is no space between us.
+Remember when we took our time?
Shopping Break.
EVERYONE’S FAVORITE SWIMSUIT // EYELET PANTS (ON SALE FOR $62!) // LIP BALM THAT CHANGES WITH PH OF YOUR SKIN FOR A TAILORED FLUSH // CROCHET EFFECT SAMBAS // CHICEST BUTTON DOWN // TODS BAG // MY DAILY BRONZING DROPS
+A bestseller over the weekend, resharing here before the 30% off discount disappears!
+A few of you wrote to let me know my code at Biossance (JEN15) is not working on my favorite undereye serum — truly, this is a magical product; really brightens, and I love the cooling rollerball applicator — and I realized its because they’re offering a free gift with purchase right now when you buy the serum. The gift is a $25 value so it’s a better deal, but sorry for the miscommunication!
+OK, A REALLY FUN ADIDAS SHOE. These will sell quickly.
+Veronica Beard vibes for less: this blazer (adore the color and trim) and this striped shirtdress.
+Just love this Tod’s bag.
+My tippy top rec for a cool work wardrobe addition. SO chic. The silhouette is so interesting, and the material fabulous (silky). I love the way you style it as a front-tuck or have it graze the top of a pair of high waisted trousers / jeans. LOVE it in this striped format — which also comes in a dress version!
+While you’re there: SO chic. Feels like an update to the Burberry wool poncho of years past. Layer over knit dresses, jeans and button-downs, etc! So fabulous. For some reason I saw it and imagined wearing it all over London on a fall trip. (So good with these boots — still on sale and in stock somehow!)
+Extra 50% off Splendid’s sale section. Don’t miss my eyelet pants, now $62 with code! I find the pants run a little narrow and would advise going up if between sizes. And how cute are these striped knit pants?!
+RMS Beauty sent me this fun lip product: it changes color based on your natural pH to deliver the perfect personalized flush of color. Fun! I love the non-sticky consistency. More like a balm. (While we’re talking RMS, if you’ve not tried their SuperNatural Serum yet…do it! It is so good. I actually blend it with a few swipes of my Westman concealer stick and a dab or two of these bronzing drops directly on my face — like I apply all the products directly to my skin like its a paint palette and then blend them all together. Gives you the glowiest, most beautiful skin!
+Anthro just started carrying our favorite new jean brand. (I truly love this style – I cut the hems to a cropped length. Go up a size.)
+CeliaB always has such joyful dresses.
+Rifle Paper makes such pretty novelty notebooks. I use my Appointed ones for daily scribbles, hand drafting, lists, and notes, but this year, I have been keeping a separate, larger-format novelty notebook from Rifle Paper for my book and more substantive musings. It’s like giving them a pretty home. Added benefit: I always know where to find the writing concepts instead of having them mixed in with lists and random thoughts.
+Speaking of hand-drafting, for my fellow pen obsessed: just ordered two new pens to test! These 0.38mm Japanese gels (I love an ultra-fine point) and these Korean ones.
+40% off linen dresses at Alice Walk! While you’re there, I’m super into their new cotton crochet short sleeved cardigan. I have this in cashmere and I cannot believe how often I bring it with me. Perfect for cold A/C dinners when you’re wearing a summer cocktail dress! Truly a wardrobe MVP. Strong rec. The crochet style is a bit more casual and seasonally appropriate maybe?
+People love the brand ThirdLove — have you tried? I just ordered this wireless bralette to try. My other favorite wire-free styles to wear beneath summer clothes: Negative whipped and Quince cotton bralettes (great value) when I’m wearing a loose-fit caftan style dress; Eby relief when I need a bit more shape (although I find the neckline runs a little high, FWIW).
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Jen- What is the Splendid extra 50% off code? I can’t find! Also what are the Splendid linen pants you like? Thanks!
I am SO bummed because the sale was live yesterday when I was editing the post but now seems to have disappeared :(. Not as compelling, but my code JEN20 should get you 20% off. The Splendid pants I like are the gauze ones:
https://go.shopmy.us/p-20726000
xx