There is one stretch of my running circuit that consistently gives me trouble. It’s toward the end of a 60-second-long decline, and I know what’s coming next — the hardest part. The last half mile, part of which is flat but trafficked and most of which is severely pitched, to the point that it almost feels like a mountain trail. To be clear, it’s not the actual half-mile finish that I find challenging — it’s the stretch just before, as my dread mounts and I must steward myself through a routine flurry of “should I just stop my run early?” type inquiries. I reach for my inner coach. She says: “You can’t run the next mile now.” And, “You’ve done this before; you can do it again. One foot in front of the other.” She also says: “You are stronger than your mind lets on. Tune me out.”
I found myself in a meta loop the other day, commenting on my own self-commenting, and I realized — this is part of the reason I run. Running is practice for real life. It’s like sharpening a tool: what I’m really doing is training my mind to be forbearing and committed when I need to.
I thought then about how we spend so much of our lives toggling between practices that sharpen and practices that soften. I think a big part of maturity, of becoming an expert in oneself, is knowing when to reach for which. There are days where I cannot accommodate the flinty discipline required of running, and I honor that. And there are days where that discipline is just what I need. And I honor that. It’s taken a long time to permit myself more cashmere than blade, or at least more of an equal share between the two. (The eldest daughter continues her unlearning…)
I began sorting some of the key practices in my life into “sharpen” and “soften” piles, and writing went first into the soft laundry heap. My first-glance, knee-jerk capture of writing: it’s an enormous hug. An inherently soft landing. A melt, a tumble, a loving inexactitude. And yet. Writing can also be a great winnower. With the pen, I can cull the driftweed and dross and call out the story. Interesting, then, that there some practices that shape us in both ways, that can both refine us and draw us to our fullest and roundest selves.
Practices and Places That Sharpen Us: Running / editing / repetition / winter / criticism / questions / the firm-ground shore / “but” / formalities
Practices and Places That Soften Us: Play / sunlight / forgiveness / stretching / water / “yes and” / summer / heavy wear / terms of endearment
Practices and Places That Do Both: Writing / time / commas / parenting / experience
Do you agree with these characterizations? I’m curious whether there are women out there who find exercise a soft place, or forgiveness a sharpener in some way.
Mainly, I think this sorting exercise — whether there are clear overlaps on the resulting lists or not — continues the lifelong work of settling into ourselves.
Onward, into this sharp-then-soft day —
Sunday Shopping.
+Cozy pointelle jammies from J. Crew! Love the neckline and the hem silhouette.
+Pair with this cozy cableknit vest.
+I ordered this striped half zip and plan to pair with dark rinse denim (<< these are still somehow 60% off and available in a few sizes).
+25% off everything at Boden with code DUSWD. A great time to snag that tartan dress for the holidays, or this gorgeous fall plaid button-down (a Magpie reader favorite).
+I absolutely swear by this overnight mask for hair. I put it in the night before I know I’m going running and then wash it out right after I run and you get the softest, smoothest, happiest hair. I gave to my mom for her birthday!
+I ordered two new pairs of AYR for research purposes: the Bud and the Lala (have heard these have a lot of stretch). Both come in a short inseam length (praise be). I love their Legends already. Will report back! Try code FRESHAYR if you do order!
+Great look for less boots for my Fredas!
+Donni’s FIRST viral pant silhouette, the rib knit flare, was just restocked. Another chic alt to a legging. Have heard these are great for petites!
+Final day to shop the 20% off sale at Credo. If you get nothing else, try this $20 mascara ($16 with code). Incredible — lengthens, separates, lifts, and rivals mascaras 2x the price. All my favorites here.
+Love this set for a car travel day (Thanksgiving road trip ahead?) paired with boat shoe mules (look for less here).
+This leopard cardi-jacket is in my cart! I’m obsessed. Imagine with a pair of taffeta or satin pants.
+While we’re talking leopard: THESE FLATS!
+Love this henley sweatshirt on Landon — so handsome. (This is a top contender for what my mom is giving the guys in our family this year!)
+I’m eyeing this pique-material long-sleeve for Landon’s Christmas pile too.
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