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+BOOK THE TRIP: This week, I went away for one night with my mom to the Inn at Perry Cabin in St. Michael’s, MD. We’d never done this before, a mother-daughter trip just the two of us. It was soul-filling — spa treatments, a long laugh-filled dinner, and two 1.5 hour car rides in which you wouldn’t have been able to get a word in edge-wise. Just a reminder to book the trip, make the date, pick up the phone. One of the surprises of adulthood: how little time you really have with your loved ones. And you’d be surprised at how restorative just 24 hours feels! (Funny side note: we both showed up wearing Frank and Eileen, the universally acknowledged spa trip wardrobe. I was wearing this set and she was wearing this popover beneath her navy Spanx athleisure set (here are the matching pants) — she doesn’t like “the unfinished hem” of the F&E sweat sets, ha. Also her signature: won’t get within a mile of a frayed or distressed garment. BTW, many Magpies have raved about this similar sweat set from Amazon as a way to get the F&E look for less.)
+AND WHILE WE’RE TALKING SPANX…They are running a big sale, with up to 70% off, which includes my favorite pea tendril green half zip and leggings set! The color is so fun. I don’t know why, but it gives me some get-up-and-go when I’m dragging my feet. I also like the look of this long-line zip-up. It reminds me of some of the styles at Varley but about half the price.
+ICONIC KISS: Part of “Wedding Crashers” was filmed at the Inn at Perry Cabin, and of course I couldn’t help but think about that scene in the movie where Rachel McAdams is tip-toeing down the hallway in her pajamas while Coldplay’s “Sparks” is playing. One of my favorite cinematic moments. This in turn led me to think about “The Notebook” and this iconic kiss moment from awards show history. (Afterward, Ryan Gosling could barely string a sentence together.) The whole thing gives me butterflies.
+FAYE WEBSTER: Thanks for all of your “underrated music” recs here; I want to throw another artist into the ring: have you heard of Faye Webster? (Start with “Kingston” and “I Know You.”) Has a Clairo vibe, but there’s something else there…maybe like a more twee/indie Natalie Merchant or Norah Jones vibe? I am really enjoying working to her music, which says a lot — normally I can’t work with vocals on and need to go all instrumental.
+EYEING + BUYING: Don’t miss Everlane’s 25% off sale this weekend to order their way high curve jeans! We love these! Run TTS but have a very rigid denim – fyi. All my top picks from this promo below. I also own and adore this “ranch jacket” in denim!
WHITE RIVIERA DRESS // BALLET FLAT MULES // RANCH BARN JACKET // BUCKET BAG // BOXY BUTTON DOWN // WAY HIGH CURVE JEANS // BOAT SHOES
+HOW TO RESPOND TO A RUDE COMMENT?: I am never able to think on my feet in these circumstances — I usually cook up a good comeback two days later, while in the shower. (Esprit de l’escalier, in full force!) Over time, I’ve decided this isn’t necessarily the worst thing — I’d rather not saying something in the heat of the moment and regret it later — but there’s a fine line here. We also don’t want to be steamrolled. Anyway, one suggestion as to how to respond to a rude, inconsiderate, or intrusive comment: “I’m surprised you feel comfortable saying that.” I like the way it dodges direct engagement and invites the other party to self-reflect. Does anyone have another solution for this? On a more trivial note, something else I need: has anyone figured out the right thing to say when someone knocks on the door of the bathroom you’re using? I’m sure this happens to all of us routinely, and yet I’m always a fluster of: “In here / occupied / out in a minute!”
+MAKING ART: If you are making any kind of art — and I define art very loosely, because I think getting dressed can be a kind of art, and making the bed can be a kind of art — you might find reassurance in this quote:
+BESTSELLERS: At the top of this list: this fabulous everyday dress from Tuckernuck, which I also ordered, and wore at the Inn at Perry Cabin (see below — rest of outfits details here).
Also very popular this week: this CHIC mini bag from Madewell (25% off at the moment!). My mom bought both while we were away!
01. TUCKERNUCK DRESS // 02. MADEWELL MINI BAG // 03. TARGET HIGH-RISE WIDE LEG PANTS // 04. TORY BURCH ROMY BAG // 05. YSE SKIN GLOW PRIMER (20% OFF WITH JEN20) // 06. MARGAUX ANKLE WRAP SANDAL (BUY NOW; IT SELLS OUT EVERY SEASON!) // 07. SPLENDID ANGIE PANTS // 08. TUCKERNUCK CASHMERE CARDIGAN // 09. JEFFREY CAMPBELL JELLIES (THE ROW INSPIRED) // 10. SERENA AND LILY CROSBY TEAK DINING TABLE // 11. DOEN SEBASTIANE SKIRT // 12. ALICE WALK COTTON WEEKENDER SWEATER
Love the idea of a mother-daughter spa trip!
On comebacks: do you know the book by Jefferson Fisher? “The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More”. He has an IG account too where he gives communication strategies for asserting oneself, setting boundaries, etc.
Oh how I wish I had this comeback filed away when my mother in law told me my brain was turning to mush because I was (not by choice, at the time) staying home with my then infant daughter. Can you imagine saying that to anyone?! Going to borrow your and Brooke’s lines in the future as they’re not rude or sassy but direct and self assured. I’m terrible at standing up for myself when I’m in situations that make me feel small.
Re: the bathroom knock, I usually go with “occupied.” Have you listened to the “Were You Raised By Wolves?” podcast? It is an etiquette podcast that is funny and not stuffy at all. I’ve learned so much, like how to properly eat soup dumplings and properly making introductions at parties.
One line I would return to when teaching is, “What makes you say that?” It’s perhaps less direct that “I’m surprised you feel comfortable..:” (which I will be borrowing!) but it puts the onus back on the speaker to explain/justify their comment while also giving them some generous space to soften it or reflect on what’s really driving it.
I always say, “one moment!” in response to a restroom knock. I think it must be what my mom says? Because I’ve never really thought about this one but it seems to be my auto response!
The bathroom thing is so funny, I feel like it has come up with friends before but I’ve never really felt “on the spot.” I think about the knock on the door as a question, “hey, is this bathroom free?” And then I’m just answering, “someone’s in here” aka nope, wait a minute.