*Image via.
Let’s ease into the week with another fun installment of icebreakers — I absolutely love to read your quirky, thoughtful, funny responses to these. Please share your answers in the comments!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
03. Most used emoji.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
06. The secret to success is …
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
I’ll begin:
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? We need more synonyms for joy. There are so many permutations for sadness, but not as many for “joy” in the way I use the word. (Triumph, jubilation, delight, glee — none of these quite nail the springy-but-full feeling of “joy,” as they all feel just a tiny bit twee. They lack the heft of joy.) Also, very technical, but from an aesthetic standpoint, I wish there were more more nouns without -ness at the end. For example, instead of acuteness, couldn’t it be acutoise, and instead of overwhelmedness, overwhelm? The ness feels clunky to write and say.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? Hack (used to mean “shortcut”). I object to it philosophically — I think this term misleads people into believing that there are secret passages through hard things, especially in the realm of entrepreneurship. There are none, unless you consider money a hack.
03. Most used emoji. The red heart.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? Published author retires to a life of reading and cooking in her mountain cottage with her husband.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. Washing my face at night. It feels like a hurdle before pouring myself into bed.
06. The secret to success is … From my limited successes, I would say discipline. Inspiration will not always find you, so you must learn to be disciplined. Lather, rinse, repeat.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? “Where is Mr. Magpie?” (I’d force him to be frozen, too.)
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. Hitting publish on something I’ve written every single day.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult… How limited your time is.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. Keep writing.
Your turn!
Shopping Break.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+People have been raving about this slip dress — apparently very flattering, and works with bump. First heard about it from Katie.
+How cute are these Valentines that come with little paint palettes?! I know a bunch of the ones I shared here have sold out already — time to order STAT!
+This Gap cardi reminds me a lot of the ones from BA&SH.
+Speaking of BA&SH – they’re running a new year sale, with an extra 20% off if you use code NEWYEAR20. Don’t miss this chic denim blouse, this knit cardigan, or this tweed jacket.
+Love these lucite frames.
+Perfect wide leg everyday pants.
+Cutest personalized vanity bags.
+Oo la la, love this resortwear ikat dress from Mirth!
+My mom bought these patterned versions of my favorite inexpensive sheets and they are SO cute IRL.
+A CHIC wool dress.
+Organizing my overflowing cosmetics cabinets into these stackable, clear drawers sparked serious joy.
+Fun sweater.
+Cute rash guard for your little love — reminds me of the texture of a Marysia suit!
Oh how I love Magpie Icebreakers!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
This makes me smile. My friend thought her mom’s made up word ‘credibus’ was real until at least 30 years old. It can somewhat replace junk, stuff, mess, etc. It’s hard to describe but with the right accent, it brings me right back to my childhood and I think it would be lovely to see in an actual dictionary.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
Myriad because it is used incorrectly so often. I wrote a piece in high school where it was used correctly and an adult edited it before publishing to the incorrect usage. I still cringe reflecting that everyone thinks I don’t know what I was saying!
03. Most used emoji.
Winking and sticking out the tongue. Second would be the registered trademark symbol/unregistered trademark symbol. I work in Marketing/Communications and my CMO is quite particular about brand standards, even when we are texting among colleagues!
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
75 Countries in 75 Years: How One Woman Didn’t Let Anything Stand in Her Way of Exploring the World.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
Either getting myself out of bed or that awkward time when I’m tired and want to remove my glasses but have a few more pages to read and can’t lie on my side due to said glasses and need them to see. It takes me quite awhile to fall asleep and I get very frustrated when I cannot see and am trying to sleep but cannot sleep.
06. The secret to success is …
Who you know is just as, if not more so, important than what you know. Relationships matter and bridges shouldn’t be burned unless absolutely necessary.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
Probably something along the lines of ‘where am I, what is happening?’
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
I have a really, really good memory and make for a top-notch trivia teammate.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
The supposed freedom you crave as a child comes with so much unseen responsibility- emotional, mental, physical, financial, etc. Also, medical care is incredibly expensive, can be difficult to access, and advocating for yourself in a medical setting is critical. I always bring a list of questions, noted symptoms, and paper/pen to take notes while speaking with my providers.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
Try to have a little more fun and be a little less serious. Being the best at everything you do is not realistic and you should do some things purely for they joy they bring you. Life is not about building a resume, despite what you may think or be told. Also, get a Mason Pearson brush so your ponytails can be smooth without a million bobby pins/clips!
These are SO good and I cannot agree with you more on the glasses/sleeping thing. I have thought a lot about the idea of making soft-sided glasses, almost like goggles or something, that one could reasonably fall asleep in. HA! It is SO annoying because sometimes I like to watch a TV show until I fall asleep, or read until I fall asleep, but knowing I have to pause to take off my glasses always feels disruptive.
LOVE your Vogue profile subheading!!
xx
These are great questions! May be stealing for my next dinner party/game night with friends….
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? There are a lot more terms of endearment (think words like dear) in Farsi than English. I’d want to add those in a way that would make sense in English!
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? I’m stumped on this one….perhaps “dumb”, in the similar vein of someone below wanting to remove stupid.
03. Most used emoji. Tie between and . I’ll take it!
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? “Former government bureaucrat finds joy in administering a national scholarship program”
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. Getting out of bed in the morning. Even after eight great hours of sleep, it can be so hard.
06. The secret to success is … try, try, try again. There’s also no such thing as a stupid question. And to echo my mom’s favorite refrain: “knowledge is power”.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? “Can I have an iced coffee with whole milk?”
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. I have a lot of patience, especially with children. As someone who has babysat since high school, so almost ten years, and taught high schoolers for a summer, I’ve gotten a lot of practice!
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…you’ll still have moments where you feel like you’re the opposite of an adult, even as a 27 year old. (Does it get better?)
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. Stop worrying, you’re only 10 years old!
These are amazing, Sadaf! Love the concept of introducing more terms of endearment — such a sweet sentiment. I also wish I could tell myself to stop worrying so much — even now!!
xx
Such fun!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
Jig jog- a family phrase for when a road does a quick dog leg
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
03. Most used emoji.
Sent in almost every message to my bestie
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
A little bit of everything
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
Having to do it! I love it when it’s done, though
06. The secret to success is …
Doing it! Quit wasting time planning and prepping to the extent of analysis paralysis. Do the damn thing! Collect data and adjust as needed
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
What’s new?
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
Organizing! I love to take mish mash and have it all make sense
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
How much freedom I have! I can live anywhere! I can pursue any education! I can spend as much as I want (and pay for the consequences..)!
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
Keep being yourself
Oo “keep being yourself” is such a lovely north star. And “A little bit of everything” — yes!! Love that sentiment! Taste it all!
xx
Hi Jen! Greetings from the South. I like you 🙂 I’m a new-ish reader and so grateful for your writing. It’s elegant, tender, and thoughtful. Keep it up! I love good icebreakers and could not resist responding to these!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
“Craptacular” (adj.) I love good, large, meaty words. When my day has gone south in a major fashion, however, my favorite adjective for it is “craptacular”. And it’s really fun to say!
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
“Bootylicious”. That one has irked me for a long time. It’s just kind of…stupid.
03. Most used emoji.
The smiley face with rosy cheeks.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
“Wife, mother, grandmother and newly-minted herbalist embraces what truly matters in life and encourages others to do likewise.”
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. It almost always feels Sisyphean. I only manage to do it a few times a week, and when I don’t, I berate myself for it, because it seems like “everyone else” (read: Instagram, The Thief of Joy) can pull off a full reset and bounce back into it the next morning after a 5am wakeup and a Kate Middleton blowout 🙂
06. The secret to success is …
Opening my hands to God’s leading. His plans for me may not match mine all the time, but they are always better than I could imagine.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
“Where’s my family???” (Followed by “How do I look?”)
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
Interacting with preschoolers. My job in ministry revolves around that, and I adore it. Those sweet, silly, curious, tender little minds and hearts are so important!
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
The confidence I’ve gained as the years have gone on. I’m honored to be a wife and a mama, and a lot of that confidence has its taproot in who my mom is and who my grandmother was. Their influences on me are a gift.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
“Sweet girl, you are wonderful, and it’s going to get so much better.”
Hi Sarah Jane! I’m so glad we’ve found each other – thank you for the wonderful compliments. Glad to read these responses! Especially love your secret to success — how true, and how often I forget this!
xx
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
Bêtises. The French do this so well…a word for the small naughtinesses of childhood that doesn’t imply any negative judgment. It’s not serious, it’s just a bêtise, it’s normal and expected for everyone, and doesn’t reflect badly on the kid or you as a parent.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
“Wifey.” Gives me the ick.
03. Most used emoji
Kissy face or eyeballs.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
The strategist, lecturer, and mother of 3 reveals why she’s spent the last 5 decades writing queer historical romance.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
We’re in our diaper era, and it’s not actually the diapers that bother me, for either my newborn or my toddler. It’s the moment when you carry a struggling child to the bathroom who has decided they do not want their diaper changed. I don’t want to change it either! Putting on my happy face in those moments, as I lug a child who has gone boneless and is whispering “baby sack of potatoes” to himself, is difficult. But it’s also deeply deeply funny.
06. The secret to success is …
Being attentive. Truly attentive, to the details of your work, your relationship, the people around you. Remembering the name. Asking after the sick dog or new baby. Getting the right coffee order for a long time colleague without asking. Something that shows the warmth of your presence, and the value you bring in unifying all your experiences.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
“Did we win?” What, I’m not sure, but that’s what instinctively came to me.
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
I speak well to young children, particularly about challenging things, and I’m good at prepping them for new babies or medical procedures or life changes. My friends come to me for advice about this often.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
I’m successful at it just as I am. Teen me was sure I’d have great hair (meaning different than mine), a great body (meaning different than mine), a respected career, and be really popular, if I just worked for years and years to be someone else. Nope, the work of the last decades has been loving myself and growing into myself. It turns out I’m worthwhile and attractive and happy without any major changes, beyond the growth of years.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
You can say no. To anyone. For any reason.
Kelly, these are so gorgeous. I love especially the betise insight — so TRUE! and its absence from our vernacular says something, doesn’t it? — and the note on attentiveness: yes. It reminds me of Mads Mikkelsen’s famous quote about making everything you’re doing the most important thing. Just bringing a big energy and focus to your everyday life. How you do something is how you do everything. You know?
Love! Thanks!
01. Mopus — borrowed from my parents but that feeling of just being blah! Used in a sentence: “I have mopus, nothing sounds good for dinner tonight”
02. Ironically, simply because of how much it is misused!
03.
04. Retired attorney opens fully gluten-free fast-food chain (there are none! it’s so hard!)
05. Flossing! The bits flying out of my mouth…yuck.
06. Working hard, being kind.
07. Is the city still standing or is it completely flooded?
08. Doing the tedious work — at work/home/school!
09. That I am approaching 28 and still feel like I’m 19!
10. M/E/M/S/A/H are still some of your best friends; you’re all going on S’s bachelorette in May and you’ll be in her wedding in June. You’ll go your separate ways and live in different places but you girls will always find your way back to each other, and every time you come together it’s just like the 5th grade overnight trip.
My kingdom for a gluten free breakfast sandwich!!
co-sign x 10000! i will invest!!
Mopus!!! Adopting this one.
xx
Great answers! I could have written number 9 myself (especially since I am also approaching 28…!).
1. I’m still coming up with the word itself but the meaning would be… I love you, but my mind and body are tired and I need a minute.
2. Bitch… for what I think are obvious reasons!
3. Red heart and broken heart… reading too much news, I fear.
4. Jessica lives joyfully with her soulmate whom she met at the age of 17, on a modest farm surrounded by books, music, dogs, a well-loved kitchen… and a few copies of the novel she finally wrote in her 60s. She loves God, and has no regrets.
5. Waking up!! I aim to be a morning person, but it’s definitely a work in process.
6.Defining what that word means to YOU. The yammering and expectations of the world will not sustain your soul… if your definition of success makes you happy, you have succeeded.
7. To borrow from you Jen, where is John??
8.
9. You don’t feel like an “adult”… the lack of a manual becomes more and more clear… but, so does the ability to love yourself, care less what others think, and delight in all the small things you used to think were the small stuff that got in the way.
10. It’s not that life gets easier, but you get to know, and love yourself more. Treat yourself with the utmost kindness and love; be your own best friend. You will never be alone.
Love all of these — especially the life you imagine for yourself at 75! So beautiful!! I also love the straining for a word that encapsulates a gentle “please give me a second.” I need that!
xx
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? More words for “aunt” or mother’s sister – looking for something cute and creative for my new nephew to call me!
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? Stupid.
03. Most used emoji. The shoulder shrug ♀️
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? Grandmother Inspires Next Generation to be Stewards of our Earth.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. Brushing my teeth at bedtime.
06. The secret to success is … having empathy and compassion for others.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? Where are my children/grandchildren?
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. Editing.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult… Nothing lasts forever, good or bad.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. Keep being who you are and others will eventually come around.
These are so wise! “Nothing lasts forever, good or bad” — oof! So true, and both a blessing and a burden.
xx
Hearing my little son’s voice calling for his aunties and uncles warms my heart so much…he calls his one uncle (in his early 20s) “Iggy” and we all like it so much we’ve started calling him that too!
Cutest anecdote – thanks for sharing!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? I have an aversion to strange meat textures and as a youth I coined the word (and it’s horrid, I’m sorry in advance) Grinitles….meaning any funky texture you encounter when chewing meat and I personally think Merriam-Webster should recognize it officially.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? Partisanship……particularly in an election year. High time we delete this word and learn to work better together.
03. Most used emoji. The red heart…. with crying laughing as a close second.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? Doctor turned jewelry designer creates wearable whimsical gems, turning a career as serious as a heart attack into the lightness of being.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. The intense shuffle of getting kids ready and in the car before taking them to school and myself to work.
06. The secret to success is …defining your own version of success. If you don’t know what your personal iteration of success is, you can hardly expect to achieve it.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? Does anyone want to take a walk with me?
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. Finding shark teeth on the beach. I’ve never been to the beach without finding at least one.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult… Hmmm. I think the biggest surprise is that while I have plenty of responsibility and a busy, busy schedule……at my core I still feel like a kid a lot of the time. You’ve written about how we carry all the ages of our children, and I think we learn to do that as we carry all the ages of ourselves. In my mind I could still be 12, or 18, or 25. All those past selves are alive and well within me and I can draw on any of them when I need them. That also serves as a good reminder to take my kids seriously no matter their age, they too will carry it with them to adulthood.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. Most people are so busy being self-conscious that no one is watching you closer than they’re watching themselves. Take the risk, do the thing, give it a try even if you fall flat.
LOVE these — especially #10! Completely agree. Most of the time people are too self-absorbed to notice or really care what you’re doing — so go for it!
xx
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? Nothing specific, but I do love a lot of portmanteaus and I think we could benefit from more.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? UTILIZE. I write and edit others for a living and it is my bete noire.
03. Most used emoji. These days, the swirly eyed grimace face one.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? Something about my house… I’ve always said that the best kind of famous/notable is the kind where no one recognizes you on the street, but publications are very interested in the inside of your home.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. I’m with you, I also find washing my face/flossing/brushing my teeth before bed to be such a drag.
06. The secret to success is … Communicate, communicate, communicate.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? Did we solve climate change? (Not hopeful)
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. Drinking a lot of water. I’m just naturally an incredibly thirsty person and have been my entire life, so the idea of having to trick yourself into drinking more water is so foreign to me. It’s like breathing to me, I don’t even have to think about it.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult… A lot of adults have absolutely no idea what they’re doing!!!
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. See above.
I love the idea of communication as the underpinning for success — that one really made me stop and think. Thank you for sharing, Anna! xx
So fun and welcome distraction on a mundane Monday morning!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? Words to express apologies in more meaningful and significant ways and not be limited to sorry.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? All words that relate to bathroom humor. Though my 5 year old nephews may disagree!
03. Most used emoji. A tie between the smiley face and red heart.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? A born and bred New Englander returning to her roots and the place she calls home.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. Blow drying my hair. A laborious task.
06. The secret to success is … Be yourself and use your smile as your secret weapon.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? I’d probably ask the most obvious. “What time is it?”
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. Soothing a fussy baby. My family dubs me the baby whisperer, ha!
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult… That is hard work, really hard and you can’t do everything you want.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. Love your body just the way it is. Wear sunscreen every day. Take extra good care of elbows and knees.
Love the idea of more synonyms for “sorry.” I completely agree with that! Sorry is almost neutered at this point — we need something more meaningful.
I also hate blow drying my hair and will go to great lengths to abbreviate the chore or avoid it altogether…
And, finally: “Love your body just the way it is.” So beautiful! Thanks for that one!
xx
Love this so much, Jen!
Mine are:
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
The feeling of being in a crowd at a concert and the collective energy swell of everyone letting loose together in song, emotion, and unabashed arms around one another feeling. I’ve been watching/rewatching live sets from Sam Fender and Noah Kahan and am always so moved at how deeply individually connected we can be to music then to see it collectively manifested in real time at a live show won’t ever not make me teary-eyed with full body chills. There’s got to be a word for the feeling of all of this!
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
B**ch. Obviously it has a biological nomenclature however in real life? As a derogatory slur that seems designed to deliver gendered vitriol at best and not-so-covert hatred at worst? Even when it gets used between people as a term of endearment I find it really discomforting and often upsetting. Goodbye to that, please.
03. Most used emoji.
The three-heart face. Also recently the flame-heart! Sidebar: Jen, can we please have a post about the hieroglyphic emoji shorthand phenomenon?
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
Mrs. Lane plans to continue doing more of what she’s always done — with added time every day for Scrabble, wine, promenading, swimming, and reading.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
Only letting myself have one coffee. Anxiety and stomach aches aside, I’d drink coffee allll day.
06. The secret to success is …
Shutting out the external voices and internalised self-talk that says this isn’t important, you should be doing more, you’re lazy, the work is bad, when are you getting a real job. Subsequently, the secret is believing in your own work, supporting others in their own pursuits, sleeping/exercising/eating/connecting, and prioritising deep work over dopamine-centric breaks.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
Did Taylor Swift open the vault and give us the full creative backstory of her entire catalogue?
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
I don’t know if this true necessarily, however in my family it tends to be speaking with candour about feelings in a way that’s just communication rather than emotions.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
That the older I get the less I know and that the more I know, the hungrier I am to know more. The humbling of realising that certain lessons and education — both in terms of just “getting” concepts and experience-based maturing — happens when it’s meant to happen. I didn’t know everything at 23 because it wasn’t possible and I wasn’t meant to. The mysticism of how little I know and that choosing joy is choosing life; that choosing life is committing to the surrender of learning, growing, and evolving with a grateful heart no matter the strain, pain, or holistic resistance.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
Stay true to your wonder. Be admiring of the beautiful things. Be faithful to loving openly and bravely. Never stop laughing and playing. Whimsiness, mirth, connection, and silliness are everything. Your heart hungers for the world for a reason. Your dreams are the invisible foundation tendrils of inspiration that become plans and actions.
OOOOH, number 1 is SO good!!!!
Ahh! These are all SO gorgeous. I need to read #10 to myself again and again. Thank you for those words!
I also absolutely LOVE this subheading: “Mrs. Lane plans to continue doing more of what she’s always done — with added time every day for Scrabble, wine, promenading, swimming, and reading.”
YES!