Q: A gift for an outdoorsy mother-in-law.

A: How about a fleece from Alex Mill or Faherty? Have yet to meet someone who doesn’t love a new layer of hygge. I also have and love these merino base layers and my beloved Darn Tough socks, if she’s into outdoor adventures in the winter. If she’s a birder, these fancy bird-watching binoculars from Nikon (rated best by Audubon in the under $150 category) with this birding book. If she’s a gardener, these beautiful garden stakes. Under-$50: this Patagonia belt bag (great color combos).

Q: A gift for my doorman.

A: We always did cash tips, but lovely add-ons would be a gift card to his favorite coffee/lunch spot, a cashmere beanie and hand warmer (it gets cold out there!), a ballcap for his favorite sports team, a mini portable radio (I always feel like ours liked to listen to the radio at the door), holiday chocolates.

Q: A gift for my fiance — getting married in January.

A: A personalized Away suitcase for all of your adventures together (honeymoon + beyond); a subscription to WSJ or America’s Test Kitchen (depending); Rhone lounge pants; a pair of Onitsuka Tigers; a Maison Kitsune sweatshirt; a Mr. Marin sweater; a Boos block; martini glasses; the only mixology book he’ll ever need .

Q: A white elephant gift that everyone will want.

A: Women: these hair ties. All genders: an AirTag.

Q: A gift for a husband who doesn’t want “stuff.”

A: Home and kitchen gear are good for the utility-oriented. My husband is obsessed with this vacuum sealer. It really does prolong the life of items left in the fridge/freezer (air is what causes the dreaded freezer burn) and you can store so much more when everything is vac sealed. He also uses it for sous-vide-ing items. We also love our smart plugs on things like lamps, Christmas tree, etc. Cutting boards are great, too, if you’re heavy home cooks. We have a few boos blocks and an assortment of epicurean boards. I’ve mentioned this before, but we use our Epicurean mini boards CONSTANTLY. Slicing fruit, making sandwiches, dicing something, etc. So much easier to wash than the bulkier sizes, too…Another thought: a set of Atmos airtight canisters to prolong the life of your pantry staples.

Q: Gifts for preschool teachers!

A: Most of the Magpie teachers have chimed in to recommend gift cards — you can ask your children to report back on where they get their coffee/lunches/etc, or you can give something like an Amazon or AMEX gift card. If you want to give something, for a fashion-conscious teacher, one of these Lululemon belt bags. The “it” gift this season. Other ideas: these personalized pouches, pretty stationery, one of those curiously and wildly popular Stanley water mugs.

Q: Gift for an MIL who has everything…and we have a tense relationship.

A: Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. I would give an Alice Walk cashmere wrap, a Cire Trudon candle, or a Smythson valet tray. Luxurious, tasteful — but politely impersonal. For something under $100, a monogrammed wreath sash or Mrs. Alice napkins.

Q: A gift for me. I have everyone else covered and my birthday is within a week of Christmas.

A: Happy birthday! A few thoughts:

+A splurgey knit you might not otherwise treat yourself too — the ones from Jenni Kayne get rave reviews (and are 30% off); these Mirth ones look spectacular; this Doen is divine for holidays.

+A Jane Win necklace with personal significance — whether a coin with a motif that matters to you or a heart with a monogram.

+A splurgey pair of statement sneakers.

+A pair of new earrings from Rebecca de Ravenel.

+A new perfume — this is my absolute favorite scent at the moment. I’m still not over it. I smell my wrists all the time! Currently $50 with code G.

+I am going to share what’s on my Christmas list later this week, but one thing on my list: I’m in need of a new set of toiletry cases (our under-sink pipe leaked and ruined mine).

+A fabulous dress for the occasion.

+A designer card case.

+Celine sunnies.

+A Smythson for 2023.

Q: I oversee employees for the first time — looking for thoughtful gifts from “boss”!

A: Depending on how much you want to spend — Jeni’s ice cream or treats from MilkBar; personalized luggage tags for those who travel frequently; Leuchtterm notebooks and my favorite pens; bold chopsticks (I gave a set to Mr. Magpie and they really made such a fun and useful gift for us); a 2023 task planner (depending on relationship — my team and I were all very into optimizing our focus, designing our days, etc, so this would have made sense); personalized LL Bean totes.

Q: Gifts for in-laws.

A: This is a challenging category — I feel like you really need to dig deep and think about their interests, daily lives, etc. A few pieces that have stood out to me lately, though…

THIS BEAUTIFUL CARAFE

PROPER TABLE PLACEMATS

EMILE HENRY BUTTER POT

A SUBSCRIPTION TO RED ROOSTER COFFEE

CHAPPY WRAP THROW BLANKET

A THERMAPEN — THE BEST COOKING THERMOMETER ON THE MARKET

Q: A gift for my husband — looking for a duffel bag.

A: Patagonia’s Black Hole bags are well-reviewed for their durability and I think any dude likes Patagonia. Also — well-priced. For something a bit less sporty but in the same price range: check out LL Bean. My husband uses a Ralph Lauren one and it’s a timeless look. Upgrade pick: Filson. My husband has one of their briefcases and it’s held up wonderfully and looks handsome, too. Even higher end: these leather J. W. Hulmes. Wow — so sharp. Supplement the gift with State Bag’s award-winning dopp kit!

Q: A gift for a couple. An experience, or an item for their home? $200-$300.

A: If they are into food, stock their pantry with Gustiamo — good olive oil and vinegar, the best dried pasta, etc. More generic: every adult loves receiving a stack of fresh, fluffy, high-end towels. (Who wants to spend money on towels?!). I’ve given this Matouk set to countless couples as housewarming gifts, wedding gifts, etc. These weighted blankets are also really popular — my brother-in-law raves about his.

What has struck me this year is how many brands have started their promotions early this season! Below, some great new additions to my sale roundup from yesterday.

OUTDOOR VOICES. 30% off everything. I’m not a huge fan of their pieces for me (they fit me strangely and I don’t love the material — too constricting) BUT Mr. Magpie loves their CloudKnit joggers. Great gift! I am also eyeing this classic sweatpant and sweatshirt set in heathered gray. Timeless and I like the fit. A great way to upgrade him out of his worn-thin-and-holey UVA gear.

ALICE WALK. 20% off everything. You know I am a HUGE advocate of their knits (you can see me in my knit cape over here). I own and adore this alpaca sweater. My husband and I call sweaters like this “murder sweaters” (affectionately, of course) because they are SO WARM that you cannot wear them if you are going to be inside. You can basically go outside in 20 degree weather and feel fine wearing one of those badboys. This cotton weekender sweater has been on my radar for awhile as a perfect all-year-round piece, and if you’re new to the brand, don’t sleep on their striped pima cotton tees (full review here). They are impossibly soft with a decent amount of stretch but hold a really nice shape. Last but not least, these cashmere wraps make a perfect gift for the gal who has everything.

TUCKERNUCK. 20% off everything, and up to 30% off the more you spend. Top picks:

THIS GLITZY BORGO DE NOR — A SPLURGE BUT WOW FOR NYE

CUTE CROPPED CARDI WITH EMBELISHED BUTTONS — IDEAL FOR LAYERING OVER NAP DRESSES

ICONIC SLEEPER FEATHER-TRIM JAMMIES

CUTEST BRONZED COCKTAIL MINI

ADORE THIS WIDE VELVET BOW HEADBAND

CASHMERE TEXTING GLOVES

CUTEST HOLIDAY BAG

THE CHICEST PUFFER EVER

CHIC (!) SHEARLING VEST


MERIT. 20% off sitewide with code EARLYACCESS22. You know I was really impressed with their $38 serum ($30 with code) — it really turns on your skin, but gently. Full review here. Was also really impressed with the consistency of their cheek color balm — it truly melts into skin — but I didn’t love the color I picked (cheeky — it’s a bit too brown on me).

LAKE PAJAMAS. This sale starts today at 10 AM with 25% off everything and up to 50% off select items. Now is the time to order holiday pajamas (I’m wearing these to match mini) or gifts for loved ones (this is my favorite style — I own at least three pairs in this style? — and I’ve given them to a lot of my friends). I have been wearing this star print long set (a good option if you do not celebrate the Christian holiday of Christmas but want something wintry and festive) so often that mini has commented multiple times: “You’re wearing those again?” Haha. I know I mention this brand all the time but I love the quality, the patterns, and the pricepoint — not so precious that you feel guilty about tossing them in the laundry, especially when they are on sale! Just a great everyday luxury. This is so random but every time I reach for my Oribe shampoo in the shower, I notice the inscription on the bottle: an everyday indulgence. I love that phrase and that mentality. Like, how might we make the little things just a little more indulgent? Better PJs, more luxurious shampoo, etc. Lake fits into this scheme for me.

DOEN. Where to even begin? I’ve been eyeing this mini (or the sailor top counterpart) all season, this plaid is a nice lightweight fall-to-holiday option, their wildly popular Jane blouse is discounted in several patterns/colors, and this dress is in my cart for my birthday next summer. (#Anticipatorsunite.). Lastly, mini (named Emory) needs to have their Emory dress!!!

LA LIGNE. 50% off select styles. You know I am evangelical about this brand — it just feels like they nail exactly what I want to wear. The best, most fun knits; flattering, modern dresses; REALLY great (trend-leading) colors. Perfection. They have been adding new items every few days, but this sweater is classic and will be in your closet forever and ever, and I own a very similar style to this dress from last season that I’ve already worn three times this year.

LITTLE ENGLISH. Perhaps strangely the sale I am most looking forward to? I have my clock set for this at 10 AM EST this morning. Up to 50% off sitewide. I really love their printed turtlenecks for girls and boys and am hoping to stock up on a few extra for both my children (for this season and next). I already bought him a few of their intarsia sweaters (including this duck one) but might go back for the dog and maybe these cord overalls, too. I usually place a few orders here and TBBC each year so love to snag a discount! I already shared TBBC’s sale yesterday — 40% off sitewide, plus free ship — but I bought mini this holiday dress, some more jammies, and a few Polly play dresses (some only $12!). Those play dresses are fabulous for everyday running around / camp in the summer. Really soft cotton with a nice fit. We pair them with Natives or Golden Goose sneaks! I also bought micro these superhero jams for like $20. They were sold out in his current size but bought up a size and will have them at the ready! This brand runs narrow and long in jams.

JENNI KAYNE. 25% off sitewide; discount appears in cart. Now is the time to try their cult favorite cashmere cocoon sweater or marina culottes (apparently ideal to travel in according to my travel expert friend Jacqueline!).

DUDLEY STEPHENS. 40% off sitewide. If you’ve never tried one of their turtleneck pullovers, you are in for a treat. I was skeptical of this brand because I saw it promoted everywhere and did not really “get it.” But I find myself reaching for this exact pullover in the basil green ALL THE TIME. Very soft but a nice thin layerable piece with a structured collar — a dressed up sweatshirt that totally looks pulled together even when you have just rolled out of bed for school drop-off. Great gift, too!

TODD SNYDER. 30% off sitewide. If you’ve been following for awhile, you know this is Mr. Magpie’s go-to brand. They have great colors and styles that feel more modern and trend-conscious (but still play nicely with traditional pieces like oxfords, loafers) than, say, Brooks Brothers. If you want your man to look a little more stylish, this is where you need to head next. Try their cords first — super-fine-wale and in the best colors. Mr. Magpie owns a few pairs, but we added the olive green to his closet a few weeks ago. He also really loves these waffled cashmere pullovers and cableknit sweaters, and has been wearing this fleece in the green color all season long.

J. CREW. Can’t not mention J. Crew. I’ve placed like three orders in a week. 50% off nearly everything. I bought a few sweaters and tissue turtlenecks for mini — do not miss this darling cardigan. Mini was so excited when she saw it, and it goes with so much of her closet! I also love their outerwear for children. Mini had a style similar to this the last two seasons and it was just adorable (and warm!). For boys: holiday button-downs, classic cable knit sweaters to pair with everything from dress pants to jeans, and cozy reversible half-zips. For us: cozy sweaters in great colors to wear while puzzling, drinking coffee, and online shopping; velvet Mary Janes for festive attire all season long; and cashmere beanies for all those impossible-to-shop-for people on the list (I’ve given hats/gloves to doorwomen, teachers, housekeepers, etc — who doesn’t love a cashmere hat?!). Also. These boots are pretty epic — sort of a hybrid between my go-to No 6 clog boots and something more elevated?

KULE. Up to 50% off. I love the look of this striped turtleneck, and you know my thoughts on their striped modern long tees — SO good. You can also get $50 off this fabulous full-priced sweater with code KULEYULE.

BIOSSANCE. 30% off sitewide. If you’ve not tried their rose vitamin c face oil, you are in for a treat. A favorite product of mine! I’ve also heard really good things about this eye cream for multiple Magpies.

*Denim above reminds me a lot of these Pistolas. Pistolas run TTS!

Shopbop is offering 25% off sitewide — no minimum spend, no tiered program! In addition to the handful of picks from this morning’s post, I wanted to share my top picks from this incredible promotion:

ALEX MILL SHERPA JACKET

MY FAVORITE VELVET BOW HEADBAND

EVERYONE’S FAVORITE JEANS

ISABEL MARANT BETH SNEAKERS

QUILTED GANNI COAT — A MAGPIE BESTSELLER

FALKE BED SOCKS

KHAITE VIVIAN JEANS

NYE SEQUIN MAGIC FROM LUSTWORTHY LABEL BORGO DE NOR

ESTELLE COLORED GLASS SET

DRAMATIC DRESS IN THE IT COLOR OF THE SEASON

NEUTRAL LUG SOLES

STRIPED POLO SWEATER

QUILTED PUFFER

NAGHEDI TOTES

LONG STATEMENT CARDI

Shop Le Post.

It feels like the entire Internet is on sale at the moment. Below, 24 fabulous finds that stand out from the sale crowd…

01. CARA CARA TOP (40% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — I WANT TO WEAR THIS WITH JEANS TODAY

02. SAM EDELMAN LAGUNA BOOTS (30% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — WATERPROOF AND SO ON TREND…I WEAR A VERY SIMILAR PAIR FROM MADEWELL ALL THE TIME

03. J. CREW FEATHER BAG (50% OFF, CODE SHOPEARLY) — SAW A CHIC PEA WEARING THIS TO THE KENNEDY CENTER BALLET YESTERDAY AND IT LOOKED SPECTACULAR IRL

04. JANE WIN NECKLACE (25% OFF, CODE BLACKFRIDAY) — NEVER SEEN THEIR PIECES DISCOUNTED TO THIS DEGREE…HIGHEST DISCOUNT I’VE CLOCKED PRIOR IS 20% OFF

05. MOTHER SHEARLING COAT (30% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — SO FABULOUSLY STYLISH AND WARM AT THE SAME TIME…RALPH LAUREN APPROVES

06. HILL HOUSE PLATFORMS (30% OFF, CODE 30FORYOU) — PAIR WITH ANYTHING BLACK OR NAVY IN YOUR CLOSET AND LOOK BRAND-NEW AND ON-TREND

07. PERSONALIZED GIFT BAG (40% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — GREAT FOR OVERSIZED GIFTS FROM SANTA

08. RACHEL RILEY TRAIN PRINT FOOTIE (40% OFF) — THIS BRAND IS BEYOND FABULOUS, AND THESE FOOTIES ARE PERFECT TAKE-HOME-FROM-HOSPITAL ATTIRE…DON’T MISS THEIR SMOCKED DRESSES FOR LITTLES, 40% OFF TOO

09. BOLL AND BRANCH WAFFLE BED BLANKET (25% OFF, CODE CYBER25) — YOU KNOW MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH THIS ITEM…PERFECT WEIGHT AND WARMTH AND LOVE THE TEXTURE

10. PATTERNED FLEECE (50% OFF, CODE SHOPEARLY) — SO COZY WITH ALIGNS FOR POST-TURKEY-DAY LOUNGE

11. PAM MUNSON FIELD TOTE (30% OFF, CODE 30FORYOU) — I LOVE EVERYTHING SHE MAKES BUT THIS WOULD BE SO CHIC FOR EVERYDAY WEAR THIS SPRING/SUMMER

12. SEA LONG SLEEVED TUNIC DRESS (30% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — SO EASY TO WEAR!

13. GRACE AND JAMES VELVET DRESS (40% OFF) — BEYOND PRECIOUS, SO SAD THEY DON’T SELL IN MY DAUGHTER’S SIZE

14. SERENA & LILY LAMP (25% OFF WITH CODE GRATITUDE) — SO CHIC ON A DESK, CONSOLE, SIDE TABLE…!

15. NICHOLAS KIRKWOOD BOOTS (30% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — MY GIRLFRIEND STEPHANIE ASKED WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS, AND THESE WERE MY ANSWER

16. GRINCH MELAMINE BOWLS ($2 OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — I MEAN, WHO CAN RESIST? PERFECT FOR HOLIDAY SNACKS/POPCORN FOR LITTLES

17. UGG ULTRA-MINIS (35% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — I’VE BEEN EYEING THESE FOREVER AND KIND OF ADORE IN THE PINK?! PEOPLE LOVE THIS STYLE

18. BEAUFORT BONNET COMPANY DRESS (40% OFF, DISCOUNT APPEARS AT CHECKOUT) — ORDERED FOR MINI

19. SMYTHSON PANAMA NOTEBOOK (40% OFF) — SUCH AN ELEGANT GIFT FOR A FELLOW NOTEMAKER OR A FRIEND HITTING A MAJOR MILESTONE (CAREER, ENGAGEMENT, ETC)

20. HELLY HENSEN SKI JACKET (50% OFF) — DIGGING THE KIWI GREEN, AND THIS BRAND CAN’T BE BEAT

21. AMY HEITMAN GIFT WRAP (20% OFF) — ORDERING SOME MYSELF!

22. NIKE DAYBREAK SNEAKERS (25% OFF) — LOEWE-ESQUE…SO CHIC WITH JEANS AND A SWEATER

23. LA DOUBLE J TRAY (50% OFF) — THE PERFECT SNAG FOR AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-SHOP-FOR MIL…BUT I REALLY WANT THIS FOR MY FORMAL LIVING ROOM

24. 1212 ONESIES (AT 10 AM TODAY, 25% OFF) — THESE ARE JUST THE SOFTEST, BEST ONESIES FOR NEWBORNS…PRICEY BUT THEY LAST, THEY LAUNDER BEAUTIFULLY, AND THEY ARE SOOO SOFT. I ALWAYS WANTED MY BABIES ONLY WEARING THE SOFTEST COTTON AT THOSE EARLY DAYS!

A Magpie recently asked me to recommend a reading at her daughter’s wedding. What sprang to mind first was “The Exhortation Before Marriage,” a pre-Vatican II relic that was at one time frequently included in sermons during nuptial Mass. My father has read this beautiful rite before each of the weddings of his five children, often holding back tears. I think frequently of its solemn words and especially of the following passage:

“This union, then, is most serious, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate, that it will influence and direct your entire future from this day forward. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys, and sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You know that these elements are mingled in every life, and are to be expected in your own. And yet, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death. Truly then, these words are most serious.”

What moves me about the passage is the silhouette of two hopeful people holding onto one another as they stand with their heels to a cliff. Marriage is an act of optimism. I mean that not in the cynical sense that relationships can fail, but in the sense that, in spite of the that fact that marrying someone else doubles the unknowns and the likelinesses that we will encounter heartbreaks and tough times, we opt in. Conversely, of course, we have twice the number of triumphs and windfalls to celebrate. Life has been rewarding to my husband and I during these past twelve years of marriage together, but not gentle. We have pioneered our way through, clinging to one another, occasionally — it has felt — against the wind. But we have also found joy, meaning, and pleasure in the adventure.

When I stood on the altar at 26, I did not see this clearly. I was acting solely and unconditionally out of love. I am glad for that ignorance, blessed by it. Even if I did not fully appreciate the seriousness and sacrament of marriage as I entered into it, at least I arrived un-freighted and with the purest and happiest of intention. I knew only that I had found a good man, as solid and sturdy as they come. Do you know how some people shapeshift and dodge? How they come and go? How they make hollow noises? Not Landon, not ever. Before we were married, we were driving on Route 66 in his boxy old Jeep and the engine gave out while we were cruising at 65 MPH. Only I had no idea that anything was wrong, or that we were imperiled. He did not say anything. He immediately and wordlessly shifted gears, put on his hazards, and safely pulled onto the shoulder. Once there, he did not complain about the inconvenience. It just was, and he was there to take care of it. That is his way: uncomplicated, straight-forward, what’s-the-use-of-crying-over-spilled-milk, with a touch of flinty determination. There are hundreds of stories just like this, but when I look back on myself standing at the altar next to him, I remember thinking: “This is a man who will stand, unflustered, with me, come hell or high water or engine failure on Route 66.”

I don’t know that the exhortation will be the right choice for the Magpie who wrote in, but I do know that its sentiment continues to ring authentic with each passing year. Every time I revisit its words, I find new richnesses, as though dough laminated with new folds. Truly then, those words are most true.

Post-Scripts.

+I wrote about the exhortation here, too, just after my sister married her wife in a Zoom wedding!

+On ode to Landon’s Jeep — “his foil and ferry.”

+Sometimes I miss “the befores.”

+When a young Landon visited me abroad.

Shopping Break.

+Dudley Stephens is running an archive sale, with select pieces up to 75% off. I can’t believe this striped style is only $42!

+Absolutely love this tiered Ulla dress — eyeing for myself…

+I have used these inexpensive planners to organize my life the past two years and they’ve been fantastic for my needs. However. I’m kind of…wanting…to treat myself to this Smythson one for 2023? It is absurdly expensive but so gorgeous and for something I use heavily on a daily basis…it would spark such joy. I think the pages are too small, though. I create long to-do lists for each day and don’t think I’d have enough space. I also recently heard about the ones from Appointed, but they’re already sold out of the daily style for 2023. Worth a gander if you rely on weekly/monthly planners instead.

+While we’re talking Smythson: take a look at their incredible Black Friday sale section! This wallet is gorgeous, and how chic are these little notebooks for fellow list-makers?

+Word on the street is that these under-$30 leggings are VERY similar to Lululemon Aligns.

+An on the subject of Lululemon: these wildly popular sherpa belt bags were restocked. However, you can find a very similar style with 4,000 positive reviews on Amazon for $22. I love the chocolate brown?

+I have this moss tree in my cart.

+These sweatshirt socks sold out last year. Great stocking stuffer / secret santa gift / gift to self.

+You know I have difficulty saying no to a highlighter. I really love everything I’ve ever tried from Kevyn Aucoin — I feel like we don’t hear about that brand enough.

+Adore this wintry floral top.

+Grace + James is running a great sale and I wish this green velvet dress came in mini’s size!

+This SEA dress was a bestseller in the black colorway, but it’s on sale in a chic goldenrod hue here.

magpie by jen shoop fashion

MME MINK ONASSIS TOTE 85. First, let me mention that I am obsessed with the evocative, slightly-retro-slightly-over-the-top Mme Mink brand and its lovely founder, Jan Haedrich. I had the chance to have a long phone call with her a few weeks ago and she is bright, kind, and impressively tenured in the fashion world, having designed scarves for Hermes and Ralph Lauren, among other achievements. One thing she mentioned that really jumped out at me: “My ethos throughout my career has always been: be kind.” This has not only endeared her to colleagues and customers, but also opened doors and facilitated arrangements otherwise impossible. As an example, her bags are manufactured by the same artisans that produce Prada bags, only by virtue of the relationships she has built over her career. Anyhow, I’m a big fangirl. She sent me one of her new Onassis Totes and I am in love with it. It filled a major wardrobe hole, as I previously had no dark, solid-colored everyday totes that could be worn with anything and everything. (My toxic trait is buying impractical, patterned, brightly colored options.) I learned this past week that this tote is the ideal travel companion, as I brought it with me up to NYC for a quick jaunt. It is compact enough to deter you from trying to squeeze a laptop in (my Tumi roll-a-board has a perfect compartment for this but for some reason I always try to squeeze it in my tote and pay the price later, with a sore shoulder) but roomy enough to carry everything else: makeup pouch, sunglasses, wallet, chargers, water bottle, etc. I love that it comes with a detachable strap so I could carry it messenger bag style while navigating Union and Penn Stations, but can also be worn over the shoulder or wrist, and — IMPORTANTLY — it is surprisingly lightweight for the size and quality of the leather. It is chic chic chic, and winningly practical.

ORIBE GOLD LUST HAIR OIL. Fellow bob ladies will appreciate this one. There is always a point at which my long bob gets so long that it starts to flip outward at the shoulder rather than bend under, and I hate that unfinished look. I am going to go for a trim in December, but in the meantime, I finally found a solution: Oribe’s hair oil. After I heat-style my hair, I use a tiny tiny bit at the ends of my hair and then use a round brush to sort of train the hair to bend under the way I like it — and it ACTUALLY stays!!! Wonder of wonders. Oribe nails it again.

MME MINK MINKY TEDDY COAT. Another Mme Mink slam dunk. This coat is just WOW. I could not love the color or bow detail more, and it was fun to throw on over my Zara mini and Gucci tights earlier this week. It runs boxy/big — I took a S and think I will take it to the tailor to see if the arms can be shortened. Cannot wait to style with more casual looks. I’m thinking black jeans and combat-style boots. (I am eyeing these — there is one left in my size and it’s over 50% off. SO good.)

ZARA VELVET MINI. I apologize for being a bit redundant this week; I feel like I’ve blabbed about this dress at least five or six times, but I truly was pleasantly shocked/surprised by this purchase. The fit is interesting — it has some shape/light boning to it that affords a tailored look, and the smocking at the wrist is divine. Sometimes inexpensive velvet can look a bit…like a stuffed animal’s fabric? — but this dress is luxe and I feel like it could pass for HVN or Horror Vacui or something.

MAXWELL AND GERALDINE TARTAN DRESS. (Photo in collage above by Claire Harvey.) A great option for Christmas festivities, but honestly, my favorite kind of thing to wear every day of the week. I have been getting a lot of mileage out of this and my fleet of tartan nap dresses. I have been layering this beneath a chunky cardigan and sometimes over a black turtleneck and pairing with lug sole boots, Chanel flats, or Vibis. This dress is also one of my favorites for travel days (I also own in a summer weight/style and chose this to wear to/from NYC last time I was here). It is lightweight, comfortable, layerable, soft, and always makes me feel pulled together even though I feel like I’m wearing pajamas. You can see me wearing mine over a black turtleneck the day I arrived in NYC at the top of this post! In the photo in the collage, though, I styled with my favorite ivory alpaca sweater from Alice Walk. I am going to spotlight this hero item again soon because it deserves a whole tribute. It is the warmest, best quality sweater I own!

MADE HOTEL. We’ve stayed at this Midtown hotel a few times since leaving NYC, and each time, I am really impressed. Let me first say that I generally would avoid Midtown while visiting — it is crowded and dirty and lacks the charm that makes up for these sins elsewhere in the city — but the last few times, we have been here for work, so we have found practicality paramount: Mr. Magpie can walk to his office from here and we can get to/from Penn Station by foot in under 10 minutes. It is also an ideal jumping off point for getting absolutely anywhere else in the city, as most major subway lines are within a few minutes. It’s also borders on the NoMad/Flatiron neighborhoods, so it feels less Midtown-ish than Midtown proper — and I love the Flatiron area. My daughter attended school in Flatiron and I am irrationally connected to it, and I feel like I know so many of its corners because of its daily presence in our life. (Try Devocion coffee if you’re in the neighborhood!) Anyhow, Made is a relatively new hotel and everything is sparkly and clean. The staff is noticeably friendly and helpful — hospitality is truly a core value there. Each time I’ve visited, the front of house staff have hurried to get me checked in ASAP (well before actual check in time) and have attended to every question and need with alacrity. They also have a really good coffee shop in the lobby (Paper Coffee) and offer free wine during happy hour. I have worked from both my hotel rooms and the comfortable lobby for many hours at this point, and find it an ultra-accommodating place to work from. This is absolutely the place to stay if you are looking for something in Midtown.

BANTAM KING. We tried this H Street Japanese spot late last week and I haven’t stopped thinking about their Curry Snow Fried Chicken since. It was unbelievable. The fried chicken on its own was fabulous (no small feat), but buried beneath a vidalia onion curry?! Mind blowing! And the rice has chicken drippings in it and WOW. We live about 40-60 minutes away from a lot of the trendiest dining corridors in DC (depending on traffic and that damned Mass Ave construction), including H Street, so getting to these spots requires a certain level of commitment on our end. It’s one thing to go out to for dinner and drinks with friends in the evening in Union Market / H St / etc — in those cases, the transit just feels baked into the night, and Mr. Magpie and I consider that quiet time together in the car a part of the evening’s enjoyment. But it’s another thing to make the trek into the city for a casual fried chicken lunch. This is one of those spots worth the travel. We will be making the mecca back with some regularity.

REPLENIX GLY-SAL 10/2 CLEANSER. I mentioned this over the summer, but after battling body breakouts for years and years, my dermatologist suggested this body cleanser and my life has changed. It is so unglamorous to talk about this, but I used to dread open-backed dresses and would even apply concealer sometimes on my back! This cleanser has completely cleared everything up.

TULA VITAMIN C DROPS. You all know I love Vitamin C skincare products — my favorite I’ve ever tried is Biossance’s Vitamin C Rose Oil — but I have been testing these Tula drops and they are excellent as well, and less expensive. I find the Tula a bit easier to apply than Biossance because less runny/oily. You can get 15% off your first order by signing up for emails. Vitamin C is non-negotiable for me — it really turns the lights on in my skin.

MICRO’S HELLY HENSEN JACKET + VANS. One big surprise of having a little boy? How much fun it is to dress him! I mean, I always knew I’d love dressing mini in the sweetest bubbles and smocked dresses, but finding cute items for micro has been equally joy-sparking. Here, he is wearing a great Helly Hensen jacket (still on sale with a few sizes left). It is reversible, so one side has that great pastel mint hue and the other is a lovely eucalyptus green. I would say this coat runs a tad bit small so you can size up if in question. The navy Vans give his outfits (which sometimes can skew towards the more traditional/buttoned up side thanks to me) a fun, slightly sporty vibe. Some Vans are too “skater boy” for my taste (?) but the navy suede is handsome, and I love the mid-high-top height. Cute cute!

BAYBALA MOMMY AND ME DRESSES. I had planned to feature these dresses next week, as I intend for mini and I to wear them (mine / hers) together this week and want to share photos of us in them, but had to mention that Baybala is running a promotion at the moment: orders over $75 are 30% off with code JEN30. This dress is gorgeous and unlike anything else in my closet, and I love the way it coordinates with so many of the sweet little girl’s dresses they have without being too matchy-matchy. I picked this dress for mini, but they have lots of precious options to consider that would play beautifully as well, including pre-bundled sets that are already discounted (and you can apply the 30% off code on top). This is a great brand to keep in mind for family photos! The quality is exceptional, and the lovely founder has a background in textile design that really shines through in the pieces.

KONGES SLOJD DOLL ACCESSORIES. Oh my. I am swooning over these charming doll accessories for mini — I would love to give her this cherry print stroller, carrier, and bouncer for her Bitty Baby doll.

My Latest Snag: Mme Mink Teddy Coat.

I received this bow-bedecked teddy coat by Mme Mink a few weeks ago but had been waiting for the right weather and level of frivolity to pull it out and my trip to New York this past week was the perfect occasion. Never mind that it took up half my suitcase — worth it. It is SO fabulous and so fun. The dusty blue is so cheeky and unexpected (and very Magpie, if I do say so myself), but it also comes in a darling pink and a rich chocolate. I wore mine to dinner over a La Ligne dress almost identical to this current-season one one night and then over Gucci tights and this fab velvet mini dress (even better IRL — has a kind of structured fit and the cuffs are beyond chic).

This Week’s Most Popular: Winter and Holiday Finds.

01. SET OF DOUBLE-SIDED MAGNETIC BUILDING TILES IN A GRINCH THEME TO SPARK YOUR LITTLES’ CREATIVITY

02. VIBRANT CITRINE-COLORED CLUTCH COVERED IN DRAMATIC OSTRICH FEATHERS — SUCH A UNIQUE, HEAD-TURNING STATEMENT PIECE

03. QUILTED NAVY PLAID LONGLINE COAT WITH CONTRASTING BROWN CORDUROY ACCENTS

04. HEAVENLY PAINTED GLASS BIRD ORNAMENT WITH WHITE FEATHERED TAIL

05. RED AND PINK CANDY CANE STRIPED EXTRA-THICK WRAPPING PAPER TO ADD SOME FLAIR TO YOUR GIFTS

06. SOFT COTTON BLEND LONG SLEEVE BASIC RIBBED TURTLENECK — THIS CLOSET STAPLE LOOKS GREAT IN BLACK, OR OPT FOR MORE OF A STATEMENT WITH THE FUCHSIA SHADE

07. LITTLE GIRLS’ CREWNECK RIBBED KNIT CHUNKY SWEATER IN LIGHT BLUE WITH A FESTIVE FAIR ISLE PRINT

08. WOOL BLEND OVERSIZED LONGLINE SHIRT JACKET WITH LARGE FRONT PATCH POCKETS…THIS COZY PIECE COMES IN A CHIC CAMEL TONE OR A NEUTRAL PLAID FOR A MORE RUSTIC LOOK

09. GORGEOUS SHEARLING LINED BROWN SUEDE CHELSEA BOOTS WITH A SLIGHT PLATFORM SOLE — THE CONTRASTING SHEARLING TRIM ON THESE ARE TO DIE FOR!

10. MULTICOLOR FLORAL PRINTED MIDI DRESS WITH BILLOWING, VOLUMINOUS LONG SLEEVES AND SHIRRED WAIST DETAILING…THIS DRESS HAS SO MANY FEMININE DETAILS THAT ARE SUBTLE, YET STUNNING

11. BLACK WOOL BLEND DOUBLE BREASTED KNEE-LENGTH SCARF COAT WITH WELTED FRONT POCKETS FOR A SLEEK, MODERN SILHOUETTE

12. LIGHTWEIGHT SQUARE CRYSTAL BOW-SHAPED DROP EARRINGS — HAVE HEARD RAVE REVIEWS FROM SEVERAL MAGPIES WHO’VE PURCHASED THESE

13. PLEATED BRIGHT FUSCHIA MIDI SKIRT WITH A SUBTLE SATIN FINISH AND AN ELASTIC WAIST…THIS SKIRT IS THE PERFECT BALANCE OF STYLE AND COMFORT

14. SET OF THREE 10-INCH TALL GLOWING GOLDEN CHRISTMAS TREE DECORATIONS

15. MUTED, YET COLORFUL VELVET STILETTO HEELS WITH A POINTED TOE THAT WILL ADD A LITTLE FLAIR TO ANY OUTFIT

16. FLEECE AND FAUX LEATHER OVERSIZED TOTE BAG THAT I SWEAR CAN FIT EVERYTHING YOU OWN

Weekend Musings: On Being Seen.

I read an interview over at Anne Helen Petersen’s smart blog a few weeks ago that I have been unable to stop thinking about. In it, widow and writer Katie Hawkins-Gaar commented:

“One of the most helpful things I heard from someone in regards to my own loss was, “Oh, it’s been no time at all!” Grief advocate and psychotherapist Megan Devine told me that when I was interviewing her for Fortune article. It was January 2020, nearly three years since my husband’s death. Three years! It seemed like anyone else would think it had been a long time. But Megan, who lost her own partner suddenly, knew differently. It was the kindest thing she could have said, and it’s stuck with me ever since.”

I have been lingering on these words not only because they are true (there is no timeline to grief, just as there are no straight lines in nature) but because of the baked-in generosity of the expression. I knew intuitively the way those words must have felt: validating, accommodating, permission-granting. Their shape felt familiar. I’ve been straining to remember when I’d encountered them and realized I’ve been the fortunate beneficiary of several parallel generosities in the realm of parenting, all of them kindnesses at the hands of fellow mothers. The one that springs to mind with particular clarity took place just after we’d moved from New York City to Bethesda, and I took my daughter to a dentist appointment within a week or two of arriving because dental records were overdue at her new Montessori. Mini has always had a strange (strained) relationship with the dentist. Longtime readers may remember the time I absolutely drowned on the way to a dentist appointment with her when she was three. I could not help her through an epic tantrum, and she was flailing on a dirty sidewalk off Amsterdam Ave, and a stranger stopped to ask my daughter if she was OK, implying that I was either kidnapping her or ill-qualified to understand her needs. It was one of the few times I have felt entirely out of my depth as a mother. I mean, I often feel confused and conflicted, but here was a time I felt that I could not get through a moment, not even with bribery, or accommodation, or any of the other last-fiddle choices to which we turn in moments of parenting crisis. I ended up having to call my husband out of a meeting so he could help. I then sat outside her dentist’s office on the Upper West Side, my chin wobbling, alone and defeated.

So maybe my daughter sensed my nerves as we made our way to her new dentist, Dr. Karen Benitez*, in Bethesda. Or maybe she has some deep-seated fear of dentists. Or maybe she was navigating the upheaval of our recent move. But whatever it was, she lost it during her routine exam. We went from “I will not open my mouth” to — I kid you not — her throwing dental implements across the room. My daughter is not this way, has never been this way! I still can’t believe it happened — can hardly imagine her throwing anything at all in anger. She is generally mild-mannered, not particularly physical, and a rule follower. And yet there she was: a tangle of windmilling arms, wailing, and writhing. Somehow, we got through the bare minimum required for the dentist to fill out the required form.

“I am so sorry,” I said to the dentist afterward. “We just moved, and she hates the dentist, and…” Much to my horror, I found a sob beginning to escape my lips.

“Oh, don’t even think about it. This happens all the time,” she replied. I burst into tears. This dentist, whom I had just met twenty minutes prior, and whose exam room my daughter had destroyed, did not skip a beat: she pulled me immediately, urgently into an enormous bear hug. “Oh, oh,” she soothed, squeezing me. “Moving is too much. And it’s hard being the mom, isn’t it?”

The gift was being seen in my subterranean strife. The experiences I was navigating — moving, motherhood, tantrums, dental visits — were so run-of-the-mill, so common, that it felt like I must not let myself admit my flailing in them. And here was a stranger telling me: “This all makes sense. This tracks.”

I am pocketing this for future use; I must pay this particular kindness forward.

*Sharing her name because she deserves the recognition. I will never forget her generosity.

Shopping Break.

+The Internet is going crazy over this glitzy mini (more sizes here, and available in pink here). CUTE for holiday cocktail parties.

+FUN gem drop earrings at a great price.

+These are very similar to a more expensive set of candlestick holders I keep on my dining room table most of the year. I love the midcentury vibe. Fill with tapers in a seasonal color!

+Shopbop has heavily discounted a bunch of items, including this adorable Ulla J. dress — originally almost $600, now under $150. Lovely for a bride-to-be but I think I will buy for myself.

+TBH, this set of four Maille mustards would be an ideal way to fill my stocking. If you haven’t tried their Rich Country mustard, you haven’t lived yet. My mouth is watering just thinking of it. A dream on sandwiches or served alongside kielbasi/other garlic sausage. Sometimes I even dip hard pretzels into it. (Again, fellow vinegar heads, please identify yourself and corroborate with your own favorite mustards.)

+Another fun pair of sherpa loafers to consider. I have been wearing this similar pair ALL THE TIME. They are functional in the sense that they are super-warm — it feels like you’re wearing socks with your loafers! I’ve been stopped multiple times by strangers asking about them! I like them both with midi-length dresses (like tartan nap dresses) and jeans/sweaters.

+I just ordered this book on the recommendation of a Magpie after I mentioned on Instagram how sensitive I am to families navigating sight disorders and/or blindness given my daughter’s eye condition. Description: “Driving through mountain fog to the beach, two young brothers compete to see who will catch the first glimpse of the ocean, but it is their blind sister Nellie who senses it first.”

+Affordable sensory bin kits — would make great gifts! (ICYMI, I’m a huge proponent of sensory play. It got us through the depths of the pandemic.)

+This oversized velvet blazer is fabulous in the paisley.

+These $26 knit lounge pants come in multiple great colors.

+A timeless wardrobe classic.

*Image via.

When Mr. Magpie and I were first married, we had a small bag of cast-off ornaments we’d inherited from our parents. We went out and supplemented with red and metallic ornament sets from Martha Stewart (she still makes great starter sets), and have gifted one another meaningful ornaments every year since. It’s become a lovely tradition, and we use it to commemorate trips, culinary adventures, inside jokes, and the like. Two of my favorite recent ornaments we’ve added to the collection: this set of beautiful carrots (long, delicate, dramatic, and slightly sparkly), to celebrate Mr. Magpie’s inaugural vegetable harvest in our new suburban home, and this felt NYC subway ornament, to commemorate our final Christmas in New York City. This year, I am eyeing this set of the 12 Days of Christmas ornaments. My daughter loves that carol and the pieces are so fun and detailed! Or maybe this mushroom, as my husband recently found “his own forager” — I kid you not. My husband, as you may have gathered, is a precise and exacting cook and goes to great lengths to find the best sources for all his provisions, including, most recently, mushrooms! He now has a forager he works with for specific occasions, like the paella dinner we recently threw, which involved locally-foraged chanterelles.

Ornaments make such beautiful gifts and are typically at a reasonable price point, too. I am contemplating giving special ones out to some of the recipients on my list this year in lieu of another Secret Santa-caliber (under $30) gift — something to use every year!

01. FLUFFY OWL SET

02. RABBIT

03. HEDGEHOG

04. VELVET MUSHROOM SET

05. GLOBE ORNAMENT SET

06. MINI BAUBLE STOCKING

07. CARROT ORNAMENT TRIO

08. MONARCH BUTTERFLY

09. ARCADIA HOME COCKER SPANIEL (OTHER BREEDS AVAILABLE)

10. 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SET

11. BIRD — I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR BIRD ORNAMENTS…LOVE THEM NESTLED ON THE BRANCHES!

12. ASTRONAUT

13. MUSHROOM

14. PRETZEL

15. CRAFTSPRING NYC TAXI WITH TREE

16. PERSONALIZED CUSTOM HOUSE ORNAMENT

17. ACRYLIC DOVES

18. MON AMI NUTCRACKER SET

19. PEPPERMINT CANDY BALLS

20. SANTA FACE

21. MALILILI BURLAP TREE ORNAMENT TRIO

22. PERSONALIZED DACHSUND

23. PERSONALIZED BABY’S FIRST CHRISTMAS BALL

24. STARBURST

As far as tree toppers, I like this star, this dove, this modern brass angel, this lit birch angel, and this beaded star.

For tree skirts, I like these ones from Julia Amory, this woven plaid from Target, this botanical one from Parterre, this channeled velvet (what we have!!!), this scalloped toile, and the woven tree collars from Target and Crate and Barrel.

On the utility front, don’t forget the life-changing tree genie and these ornament organizers!

P.S. How I handle criticism.

P.P.S. I just love Nora Ephron. Year-round, but especially at the holidays. I treasure “You’ve Got Mail” in late fall, “Sleepless in Seattle” around Christmas, and “When Harry Met Sally” on NYE (always).

P.P.P.S. The concept of the “realistic preview.”

*Image via.

I was just thinking last week how much easier mornings have become for us as a family. My children still wake early-ish and now openly defy their Mellas (our OK-to-wake clocks, which proficiently kept our children in their rooms, if not in their beds, until 6:50 each morning, up until a few months ago), but they will play with one another without bothering us until we emerge from our bedroom each morning. We no longer have bottles to fill or diapers to change, and I no longer need to urgently prompt my son to use the toilet first thing, either, as he will use the toilet when he wakes on his own. The hour between wake-up and out-the-door-for-school runs like clockwork. I have my “hooks” in place — if I’m not feeding the children by 7, we need to expedite; if I’m not clearing bowls and beginning the getting-dressed-and-brushed phase by 7:25, we have to move things along; etc. Everything is done in its order, and the children expect the regiment: first breakfast, then uniforms/clothes, then hair, then teeth, then shoes, then coats, then out the door. Curiously, too, neither child complains about going to school at the moment, and so the prolonged negotiations and standoffs of yesterday have faded comfortably out of the picture. (Right now — I’m sure I’ve jinxed it.) We are in a good groove? (She writes hopefully?) I must say this out loud, or on paper, because these small victories are worth trumpeting. I remember well the days when mornings felt impossible. I am thinking narrowly of a string of months with a newborn needing to be fed and swaddled and rocked to sleep while a rambunctious two year old was being forced against her will out the door for her Twos Program. And so I will celebrate this modest milestone.

But, truth be told, mornings — even in the newborn days — have always been the easier part of the day anyhow. I think most parents will agree that the stretch of time between dinner and bed can loom monstrous, and that’s principally because everyone — parents included — is tired. I’ve usually hit my limit on stimulation of all kinds, and just want to be quietly nursing a glass of red wine on the couch, and yet this is the time of day in which parents must dig deepest, must inflate themselves to super-parent status with the stamina of a Marvel hero and the patience of a saint in order to grind through the whining and flailing of young children in desperate need of shuteye. Oh, the agonies and injustices and outrages of bedtime! This toothbrush, that toothbrush, she-got-more-toothpaste-than-I-did, he-turned-on-the-light-last-night-and-it-was-my-turn, I-don’t-like-those-pajamas! The doors slamming, the repeat depositing of a small girl into her bedrooms the “I don’t want to see you out of your room again until the morning, unless it’s an emergency” muddled with half-fatigued explanations along the lines of: “We do this because your body needs rest!”

And yet we always make it through, and — my husband pointed this out to me — the moment that my son’s door closes (meaning he has washed his face and brushed his teeth and used the toilet and dressed himself for bed), he transforms into a docile little lamb who trots over into my lap for storytime and then promptly collapses into his bed, and stays there, usually for the entirety of the night. He will chirp only once after I’ve readied to leave his room, asking for me to rub his back. For some reason, we go through this exact exchange nightly; I suppose I could abridge it in some way, but it’s sweet in its own call-and-response. I’ll turn out the lights, sing him his lullaby, and then rise to leave, at which point, he will inevitably say: “Mama, will you rub my back?” I’ll perch on the edge of his bed, rub his back for a scant thirty seconds, and then leave, and he will always say, as I prepare to close his door: “I love you and I love you and God bless you and good night.” Two I love yous, sometimes three, and that avuncular “God bless you” that absolutely kills me every 24 hours.

I guess what I’m saying is that bedtime has also gotten easier.

And I guess what that means is — and I write this to extend you hope if you are in the narrow straits of raising small children — that the mechanics of mornings and evenings do simplify as your children get older, and the bits that used to feel impossible, taxing, draining, can ease up.

A smooth passage, for the moment, with quiet waters worth praising.

I’m curious, though: what is the most challenging part of your day, parent or not? Has this changed over time? Have you always found mornings difficult, for example? Do you dread nights? Dish!

Post-Scripts.

+The first job each morning.

+Every morning, a million miracles are born.

+When was the last time you felt truly happy?

Shopping Break.

+40% off sitewide at Madewell. Don’t miss these ribbed turtlenecks, this pretty fall floral (can be worn with tissue turtleneck beneath for a Wiggy Kit-inspired look for less), and a pair of trendy statement lug sole loafers.

+MinnowSwim is offering 20% off site wide — a great time to stock up on the cutest suits for next season. I especially love their rash guards for girls. I find this brand runs TTs in swimsuits.

+I bought this under-$100 velvet mini and it’s even better IRL. The cuffs are very Horror Vacui / Vampire’s Wife, and the fit is excellent. If you like the vibe but avoid minis, check out this style!

+This reversible quilted coat is on sale for only $133 (originally $336). So adorable! Also love this longer reversible style from the same brand, on sale for 50% off!

+This sherpa vest reminds me of the Toteme jacket we all obsessed over earlier this season.

+Can’t get over these chic heels — under $160 and so fab. They remind me of Malone Souliers!

+Every time I re-order this shampoo, I remind myself to tell you about it. It smells like heaven and is ultra-gentle. My son has very sensitive skin and this is great for him.

+These turtlenecks are under $10/pop and great for everyday uniform wear for littles. They have a nice thickness to them — very soft, too.

+These adorable La Double J pouches/clutches are on sale for 50% off.

+This hot pink opera coat is $200, and this hot pink wool cape is also discounted heavily!

+To my baking Magpies: you know about Fat Daddio cake pans, right? The best! They cook so evenly. Do not use glass to bake in — ever. Use these — lots of shapes/sizes available. A set would be a great gift for a baking enthusiast!

+This dress turned my head. You could wear with black suede heels to winterize it.

+Patterned turtlenecks are my toxic trait at the moment.

+Attractive fridge magnets for kids.

+This backpack would be a good unisex option for a diaper bag for both parents! Chic in the black and camel in particular.

+A simple velvet clutch for Christmas — wear without the strap and pair with something plaid/tartan!

+Les Gamins’ last re-stock of the year just launched! They have some really cute waffle sets that would be good under snow gear.

+This dress is guaranteed to turn heads.

On the heels of last week’s guide to gifts for little girls: the best holiday toys for little men. This $25 color-changing vehicles umbrella was a huge hit for my son. Don’t underestimate the excitement that a child-sized umbrella will generate for a little one — something about having their own, appropriately-sized rain protection is thrilling and empowering!

01. 3D PORSCHE PUZZLE

02. STAR HELMET — REMINDS ME OF CAPTAIN AMERICA

03. RETROSPEC SKATEBOARD

04. TENDERLEAF TOYS CAR TRANSPORTER

05. TONIES BOX BUNDLE

06. ALPHABET WALL HANGING — WE HAD ONE OF THESE GROWING UP AND THEY ARE SO SWEET, FUN TO PLAY WITH, AND JUST THE RIGHT SIZE FOR LITTLE HANDS TO LEARN ALPHABET SOUNDS

07. PIRATES PLAY SET — WE HAVE AN ENTIRE BIN OF THESE TINY FIGURINES (ANIMALS, ASTRONAUTS, PIRATES, ETC) AND THE CHILDREN PLAY WITH THEM ENDLESSLY

08. PIRATE SHIP

09. USBORNE LOOK INSIDE THE BODY BOOK — MY CHILDREN ARE OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK

10. AVENGERS SENSORY PLAY SETS

11. MARKERS IN CASE

12. GLOBE

13. PLUS PLUS SET — A FUN ALTERNATIVE TO LEGOS IF YOU WANT SOMETHING NEW

14. KLUTZ LEGO GEAR BOTS SET

15. TOP GUN MAVERICK JET

16. CANDYLAB AMBULANCE — HILL HAS A BUNCH OF THESE BEAUTIFUL PLAY CARS; THEY ARE ADORABLE AND COLLECTIBLE

17. ALPHABET PUZZLE

18. RADIO FLYER RIDE-ON ROCKETSHIP — MY SON ABSOLUTELY ADORED THIS TOY FOR SO LONG…HE IS FINALLY OUTGROWING IT! THE SEAT OPENS TO STORE TREASURES

19. 4D VISION SHARK

20. SCHLEICH HELICOPTER RESCUE SET — ONE OF MY SON’S FAVORITE GIFTS…PLAYS WITH IT CONSTANTLY! SOMETHING ABOUT THE LITTLE RETRACTIBLE ROPE IS FASCINATING TO HIM

21. VTECH KIDIZOOM CAMERA — MY DAUGHTER OWNS AND ADORES THIS

22. HARDING LANE DINO HAT

Shop Holiday Gifts for Boys.

P.S. More gift ideas here and here.

P.P.S. It has been so challenging for me to watch my boy grow up. Sigh!

P.P.P.S. Fall/winter basics for little boys.

Below, another draft chapter from a longer fictional work I am working on titled “Maiden’s Choosing.” You can see earlier chapters here. I simultaneously published a shopping post spotlighting my favorite winter layers here this morning if that’s more your pace today. Happy reading, happy shopping!

********

Buck stood on the ridge, squinting. The truck had trundled through the ranch gates and halfway up the drive, kicking up plumes of dust.

“That’d be them,” said Mertroe, more to precipitate action than anything else. Alee shifted feet beneath Buck, swishing his tail. Mertroe, having spent every rememberable summer of his life at Canyon Ranch, read Alee’s movements like lines on a page, but said nothing.

Buck leaned his forearm against the saddle horn. The truck was now parked out front of the ranch house, and he could see, across the wash of dry earth, Caroline stepping out of the car, gesticulating with her slender arms, and Cullen bobbing his hatted head hospitably in response. Mertroe plucked idly at the loose stitching on his leather glove, as though to proffer privacy. The sky stretched enormous and featureless above them, a bunch of nothing.

“Alee, yah,” Buck called, digging his heels into Alee’s sides, and then strode off in the opposite direction. Mertroe stared after the pair, then ran his hand down the back of his neck, sighing. He clicked his tongue three times and steered Jalopy back towards the stables.

“Mertroe!” Caroline cried, as he’d ducked into the tiled sunroom, removing his hat. She was slighter than he had remembered, her cheeks hollowed out, her silhouette sparse. She drew him in for a hug, depositing a kiss on each cheek, and then stepped back, expectantly, her eyes pool-wide. When he said nothing, she asked after his day, his family, his summer, and Mertroe replied with only the skin and bones of a conversation, recognizing her generosity — though warm — as cover. Finally:

“Is he coming in?”

Mertroe had prepared for this. “There’s cattle in the ridge,” he replied, elliptically, and she tilted her head in performed curiosity, and then a dark cloud passed over her fine features.

When he did come in, he made a great show of wiping his boots on the mat outside, and Caroline rose to her feet from across the room, her fingertips brushing lightly against the polished wood side table as if to steady herself. He removed his hat, holding it with one hand to his heart.

She stood quietly, half expecting him to call her “ma’am,” so suddenly wide was the berth between them. She had sensed this coldness for some weeks now, but he was just back from Afghanistan, and had always been unreachable beyond a certain point of intimacy, and so she had forgiven it. Thinking of this recent tour — his second, longer and quieter than the first — she dissolved, and crossed the room, her arms outstretched.

He went to her, and buried his face in her hair.

Mertroe and Cullen coughed and shuffled their feet and clacked their boots out of the dim room.

“What is it,” she said, finally, less a question than a command. She saw on his left bicep the branding of the ranch on which they now stood, and, when he dropped his arm to around her waist, the tattoo of her own name on its underside. She knew, too, that there was now a two inch long insignia of the US Army inscribed on his torso. These markings occurred to her, suddenly, and for the first time, as an empty iconography. She waited.

Then, pulling away: “What is it.”

She would later learn it was Maria,

but not that night, when she chose again the blind kindness of her way. She would later learn

it was the neighbor, the Clary girl, but not that night, when she chose to see instead the sketch of a man she drew against the shape of his uniform. Buck Adler was an army man like Caroline’s father. Both in the 82nd Airborne, too. At the time, Caroline took this as a sign from God, but she would later consider it a red herring, a cloying tether, and she would clench her jaw at her own dimwittedness.

But not that night, when she smoothed his hair and forgave his silences and poured him bourbon that crackled on ice cubes in his father’s heavy Waterford glass. It would take time for her to emerge from the wide Cimmerian darkness in which he placed her, and in which, too, she willingly placed herself.

While he showered off the dust and smell of horse and cow, Caroline stared out the window and watched the foreground collapse into a great and caliginous flatness across the ridge. From the stable, Mertroe studied her silhouette out of the corner of his eye. He busied his hands with the saddles, and the bridles, and the horses, a triptych now lit by moon luster, but he wondered about this city girl whose name was on Buck’s arm, and who had flown across the country, and who — in spite of her wraithlike stature — seemed so full and soft with love for someone who — could he think it? — did not deserve it. Buck had always been inscrutable, vacillating between radiating silence and barreling loudness with a volatility that set even his closest friends on edge. He could be tender-hearted with women, though, and, for a time, he had spoken about Caroline with open and unflustered awe. Mertroe had kicked at the ground during these interludes, but he could see, plainly, that Caroline was cut differently than the rest. Buck had called Caroline “my Linie” openly, with all the guys at The Tin Can, and reflexively, too — an endearment so broad-faced that no one dared scoff. But since this last tour, Buck had said little about Caroline. He’d talked instead about a girl named Maria, and Mertroe had watched implacably as Buck tied a piece of straw around the Clary girl’s finger three nights prior, a shy smile on his face. “That’s what you call a Canyon bride!” the Clary girl had cried over the blare of the jukebox in The Tin Can, rotating her wrist to show her girlfriends.

He stood alone with these thoughts under the canyon moon, knowing — or believing — they could never find expression in company. Tomorrow, he would wake with the sun, and make the rounds, and talk with the other ranch men about the conditions and the cattle, and the wide space around him would persist.

Caroline would leave the ranch two days later, and for good.

“I never liked that flat land,” she’d say, dodging the real question of what had happened between her and Buck that weekend in Texas. But it was true: she did prefer New York, and Boston, and D.C., where things were so bunched together they forced the truth out.

Still, one night in Vieste, at her best friend Violet’s wedding, she would stand on the dance floor, scanning the periphery for her boyfriend, Powell, and, turning her heel, would run right into — smack dab, forehead-to-chest into — Buck Adler. She would not know where to place her eyes. She would stare at his shoes (he owned black wing tips?). She would eye the lapels of his tuxedo (he owned a tuxedo?). She would skim the Adriatic Sea, the bob-haired woman to her left, the bar. A silence would pool between them, and it would be filled with all of the things that Caroline had wanted to say but would never, and she would feel a narcotic mix of humiliation, confusion, and white-hot anger. Anger at Violet for inviting him. Anger at him for being there knowing she had to be here. Anger at his indifference, at his petulance, at his quiet. And oh! Yes, anger, but oh! — the figure he cut on his horse, his chiseled profile against the sun, his army uniform hanging in his closet. That afternoon in the rainstorm on the ridge, the clouds moving so quickly across the void that they just sat in the truck and stared, and he reached across the gear shift and held her hand and said, “It’s you I don’t want to lose.” It was the perceived earnestness of this statement, staring down the cyclonic storm ahead of them, that undid her, in all of the elaborate post-mortems she conducted on their now-deceased relationship.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Caroline would say, finally, resenting herself both for breaking a carefully-observed one-year silence and for her evident bitterness.

“Couldn’t not,” he would reply. And she would resent him for breaking his carefully-observed one-year silence and for the flirtatiousness lining his reply. She would looked around helplessly, Powell nowhere to be seen. Georgina, in a throng of Violet’s friends, would catch her eye and wave her over, and she would wait for Georgina to notice that she was standing with Buck and that she was absolutely drowning. But Georgina wouldn’t have known — couldn’t have known — all about Buck. They would be only accidental acquaintances by virtue of Violet’s coquetry.

She would see Violet then, radiant as ever, the delicate bones of her face reflecting the extravagant sunset, caught in laughter. Violet was astonishing in white.

“I don’t want to make a scene,” Caroline would say, studying Violet across the crowd, “But I can’t be around you, and you know that.” Buck would look her square in the eye.

“Linie,” he would say, and Caroline would scoff audibly at the nickname. She would misread a softening around his eyes. “I’m here with Maria Gracia.”

Suddenly, the Texas Maria would become Violet’s Maria Gracia, and Caroline would never forgive the merger.

My everyday formula this time of year involves a turtleneck and at least one — sometimes two — knits on top. I’ve already shared all my favorite patterned turtlenecks, and you can see me in my Ulla Johnson Aurelia marbled turtleneck above (look for less with this), layered beneath one of my absolute favorite layering workhorses this season, Alice Walk’s knit cape, which I paired with Hunter Blake earrings and Veronica Beard trousers (mine are the Crosby style, but I can’t find online anymore — these are very similar). Thank you to Alice Walk for generously sending me this wardrobe staple — I am in love with it.

The cape is fabulous. Have I already talked your ear off about this brand? The quality is impeccable — this is how you want your clothes to feel and fit, and the cape is no exception. It is shaped so that it does not slide off your shoulders; it drapes beautifully and requires no adjustment? It is also ultra-soft and I love the contrast color edging.

A few other fabulous layering finds I’m eyeing at the moment…

P.S. You can also see me in my cape here with a different vibe.

P.P.S. 20 chic finds under $125.

P.P.P.S. On self-forgiveness in tough parenting moments.