Weekend Musings: Good Teachers Tell You Where to Look.
I recently came across a quote that read “The best teachers tell you where to look, but not what to see.” The words have returned to me in many of my interactions with my children. How do you scaffold, not instruct? Model curiosity, intensity of focus, but not display the fruits of those labors?
I am reminded of one of the best classes I took at the University of Virginia, in which the professor challenged my academic assumptions with one question scrawled into the margins of my final. He was not answering anything. He was not admonishing me with his own intelligence, thought, experience. He was provoking me to look harder and think more expansively. I am grateful to him for this comeuppance.
In a more abstract sense, I am thinking today of the way in which, when I take the time to listen, to really peer around the corners and beneath the bookshelves, experience (that cruel teacher!) tells me where to look.
Another way to say: trust your instincts.
Shopping Break.
+Can’t stop buying jeans…guess I’m really needing a wardrobe refresh? But kind of curious about this slouchy boyjean style.
+Can’t believe these flats are under $20. They have a high end look.
+This tiny fox chair! My children are both obsessed with foxes. Would be darling for my son’s room.
+Nantucket Kids is running a sidewalk sale, with pieces as cheap as $10. I love this brand because they have a similar feel to TBBC but the prints are a little more unique/less ubiquitous. Love an everyday dress like this ($20!) and classic striped jammies like these.
+I have to be honest – I was confused about all the hype around squishmallows but my daughter adores hers and it’s almost compulsively huggable. It’s difficult not to cuddle with when you’re laying next to it. Ha! A cute surprise for a little one.
By: Jen Shoop
+MERIT PERFECTING COMPLEXION STICK. Merit promises that its perfecting complexion stick will replace both the foundation and concealer in your makeup bag, and they were right. This product is exceptional. It is like Westman Atelier’s Foundation Stick with a little less coverage and more hydration (and it is about half the price). I love it for everyday — it is a cinch to apply, and it invites the kind of application I like in a foundation/concealer: not all-over but rather slicked on where you need it and then blended well into the face. (I apply on my undereyes, along the sides of my nose, and anywhere there is a blemish and then blend into skin using an Artis oval 6 brush.) I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with Merit products mainly because I like the glossy, slick consistency of all of their products — they all blend into skin more like a balm (perhaps has more oil content?), which makes them easy to layer and “fix” by virtue of blending/smudging. These are not super-pigmented products, which I think makes application more forgiving for those of us mortals who do not have TikTok beauty channels. All of the products also impart a kind of glow/dewiness (they are anti-matte) that I love, especially for winter. Two other things to note about this product: 1) Merit makes it easy to find the correct color for your complexion using their online shade finder, where you can indicate which shade you wear in another brand and it will recommend the closest hue in their library. They nailed it! (I took the “silk” shade.) 2) This product is perfect for on-the-go/work bag/travel, as you don’t need a brush (can blend with fingers) and you need only this product vs. a separate concealer and foundation.
+THOMAS GROVE FACE OIL. Another fabulous product. This oil is made from a blend of three sustainably-sourced ingredients that are packed with vitamins: Rosehip Seed, Neroli, and Bulgarian Rose. I have been using this instead of my beloved Clarins Double Serum (gasp!) and it is working splendidly, achieving similar results. Skin looks happy afterward: bright, hydrated, turned on, supple. I would say this product is very similar to Vintner’s Daughter’s Active Botanical Serum — they both have beautiful fragrances; powerful, clean ingredient lists; and a highly concentrated product — but Thomas Grove is about half as much. The consistencies are also different — Thomas Grove feels like a true oil that you must massage into skin, whereas V.D. is a bit lighter in feel. I am loving it for this dry, cold winter.
+TATCHA FOAMING ENZYME POWDER RICE POLISH. I was skeptical about this purely based on the perceived gimmick of pouring grains into your hand and mixing with water to produce the foamy scrub. (Is it necessary?) But I have to say. My skin was looking dull and tired after the holidays, and this is a really good exfoliating product for jump-starting your skin. The first time I used this, I thought, rather tepidly, “Nice! Looks fresh and bright.” But for at least 24 hours, my skin was radiating — I kept catching a glance of myself in the mirror and remarking (to no one) how bright my skin looked. The effect really lasts. I also find the “gimmicky” application somewhat addictive? Like, something about the experience of having the powder turn into a foaming, creamy exfoliator is satisfying? Maybe it presages transformation in a subconscious way? I don’t know, but I will be keeping this in the rotation during this long winter.
+SAIE SLIP TINT. I can’t say enough good things about this tinted moisturizer. It is under $40 (much more affordable than my two other favorite tinted moisturizers by Laura Mercier and Chantecaille), glides on beautifully, and affords a tiny bit of glow and coverage. I had been using SuperGoop’s Glowscreen for a long time but now prefer this for something everyday that provides just a little coverage/evenness/glow without being a full face of makeup.
+MERIT BRONZER BALM. Another great Merit product — this is sheer and buildable in a fetching way. As I mentioned previously, I personally like how layerable/semi-sheer/forgiving all of their products are. I will say I like a bit more of a heavy hand with bronzer on a daily basis and still find myself reaching for my Guerlain bronzing powder first and then using this as a “top coat” for a kind of glossy sun-kissed finish/polish. I saw someone in a beauty tutorial using this more as a contour tool and have been playing around with that application. I don’t know much about contouring but every time I’ve tried to “frame my face” with bronzer by applying a swipe at the hairline and along the chin, I end up looking dirty rather than defined. (Haha.) This balm actually enables me to achieve the intended contouring effect because it is forgiving and easy to blend in. I use their award-winning brush for this purpose and it is excellent. This balm would be a phenomenal travel/workday makeup bag product because you can kind of swipe and go even if you don’t have an ideal mirror/bathroom/vanity set-up. (I write this keenly, having packed this for a trip to NYC where we stay in a hotel that has sub-par bathroom lighting and I basically have to do my makeup in the dark or by crouching close to the a floor mirror.)
+MERIT BLENDING BRUSH. This award-winning brush is worth every penny. I have been in a committed relationship with my artis oval 6 (and still prefer it for concealer/foundation) but I am in LOVE with this for bronzer, blush, and highlighter. It sort of dapples/softens all the layers of color perfectly, and I love the squat shape (easy to hold/wield). This is a true beauty kit must-have.
+OLAPLEX BOND SMOOTHER. I’ve written fairly extensively (and enthusiastically) about this leave-in styling cream recommended by my hair stylist. It does such a fantastic job of priming, detangling, protecting, smoothing hair prior to heat styling. But after using it intensively for a month I have to say that my current leading ode to this product is that it actually reduces drying time. Really. For years, I have let my hair air-dry about 75% of the way (which typically takes about an hour — I have a ton of hair) before finishing with the Revlon One-Step. For the first time in my life, I am able to actually dry my hair quickly without waiting for an hour-long air-dry. I towel dry, apply this product, get dressed and apply makeup, do a really quick rough dry with a blow-dryer, and finish with the Revlon One-Step. This can all be done in about 20 minutes (including makeup application/getting dressed). I’m not kidding. I timed myself this morning while racing around like a wild woman trying to get the kids out the door for school and then catch my train. I stepped into the shower at 7:58 a.m. and was ordering my Uber at 8:18 a.m., going from pajamas and bed head to showered, made up, and dressed in 20 minutes flat. Can you believe?! I owe it all to Olaplex.
+OLAPLEX NO 4 CLARIFYING SHAMPOO. Intrigued by Olaplex given my incredible review of their “bond smoother,” I tried this shampoo my sister has been raving about. I love the squeaky clean feeling it affords — unlike any other shampoo I’ve tried. I feel like it really scrubs your hair clean. I will say that after I used this, a reader messaged me to say that this can really strip color-treated hair — her hair stylist recommended it should only be used once or twice a week. This has led me to alternate this shampoo with Oribe shampoo every other shower, out of an abundance of caution. While reading up on the brand for related intelligence, I saw that some people have had horrible allergic reactions to Olaplex products that have caused hair loss (!!!) This sort of wigged me out for a minute BUT I have been using (as have my sister and countless other Magpies) without any problem. Still, I had to mention this!
+DAVINES OI CONDITIONER. Next to the Merit complexion stick, this is my absolute favorite item I’ve purchased in the beauty category in the past six months. This is, simply, the best conditioner I’ve ever used. It smells like heaven. It is thick and hydrating. It coats hair beautifully and leaves it soft and silky — not weighed-down, greasy, heavy, etc. It is a dream. I literally cannot wait to put it on when I’m in the shower. 10 out of 10 recommend.
+WELEDA ULTRA RICH SKIN FOOD. I decided to give this pharmacy favorite with a cult following a try during these dry winter months. I like this product — it is very thick and hydrating — but it is almost too thick. I find it difficult to blend into the skin / apply. I know a few of you had recommended the light version of this lotion and will try that next. For the price, it’s a very effective product, and I just think having something a little more supple/easy to spread would make a world of difference.
I have been in New York this week, and a smattering of six random things on my mind the past few days —
01. Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow — I can’t even begin to express how much I am treasuring this book. I have not been so excited or moved by a book since, maybe, I discovered Ann Patchett? (Was late to the game there, and similarly behind the times here, too.) I will write a full review once I’ve finished it but let me say this: Zevin is brilliant. You can tell by the deft artistry of the narrative structure, the shocking inventiveness of the gaming themes, the restraint of her prose. The book is a portrait of friendship between gamers Sam and Sadie. There is a point in the book in which Sam describes another girl as (paraphrasing): “She was smart, but not Sadie smart.” Zevin is obviously Sadie smart. Her intelligence shines through winningly in every movement of the pen, every plot twist, every word choice. I sat in La Pecora Bianca reading it over lunch by myself just after pulling into Penn Station and it was an otherworldly experience. I barely knew I was in NoMad let alone that I was on planet earth, and then I looked up and it was snowing outside! I felt as though cocooned in a snow globe. The writing is engrossing, transportative…! Read this book so we can discuss soon. (Below: the interior of La Pecora Bianca. Speaking candidly, my meal was just OK, but it was a cute spot and a great place for a solo date. A long bar to sit at and read on your own.)
02. Pulling my tangled mass of computer and phone chargers out of my bag on the train was…quite the scene. I almost knocked over my coffee and elbowed my seat mate. I think it’s time I bought this tech organizer for travel days / days I’m working outside the home. It will solve a small but real irritation while working on the go. (And you know how I feel about tackling the small frustrations in life — it creates space to care about the things that do matter and should absorb my energy, creative and otherwise.)
03. For Christmas, I upgraded Mr. Magpie’s travel gear, as we routinely travel together and lethargically fight over who gets the Tumi rollaboard. I always end up with it owing to Mr. Magpie’s genteel manners, which means Mr. Magpie carries the Louis Vuitton duffel, which is absurdly heavy on its own, without anything inside of it. The LV stuff is best for car travel/weekend trips. You don’t want to be lugging it around Penn Station and up and down the 1. Anyway, it was time for him to get his own suitcase. We really love Tumi and it was a great investment back in the day when I was traveling multiple times a month for work — it holds up and it shows no wear — but it’s not the most aesthetically interesting of the lot for more occasional travelers like us. I ended up buying him this Away suitcase, which was consistently well-ranked in various external sources. It is smaller than the Tumi but perfect for short 2-3 day trips, and I couldn’t resist the fun seasonal green color and hand lettering options! (Truthfully, this was a purchase as much for me as it was for him.) I paired it with a set of personalized packing cubes from Paravel. I’m currently jealous of his travel situation and may need to mirror the purchases for myself.
04. Everyone is wearing socks with jeans and sneakers. For a long time, I was uncertain about this look (no show socks only!) but this most recent trip to the city may have made a convert of me? The key is proportions. The jean hem must show just the right amount of sock or it looks dowdy. Inspo below —
I walked for three blocks up Broadway behind the chicest family: the Dad was wearing Chuck Taylor high tops and carrying a little boy wearing an olive green puffer and a ribbed taupe beanie, and the mom was wearing black kick flares (similar to OUR kick flares — maybe they WERE ours?) over navy (!!) ribbed trouser socks with New Balance sneakers. There was probably 2″ of sock showing and it just worked. IIt has to look intentional or it will look like a mess. Will be experimenting myself. I didn’t pack sneakers for this trip but I was wearing my Nike crew socks (which I love) beneath my trusty chelsea boots and felt confident in rocking a tiny strip of sock based on the foregoing.
P.S. If you’re looking to update your sneaker game, I shared all my favorite neutral everyday sneakers here.
05. It was cold and snowy/rainy one of the days I was up in NYC and I, for once, packed practically. I wore this exact pair of boots (hurry, only one left there and a few pairs left in a different color here — this season’s variation with a slightly taller shaft available here, and I love this similar style from Freda Salvador) with everything, from jeans to this adorable dress. I even remembered to pack my travel umbrella, which remains one of the best investments my husband has ever made. It is tiny but mighty and has a lifetime warranty — I’ve had it repaired once! It never inverts and fits into nearly any bag (and even Mr. Magpie’s coat pocket sometimes).
06. The highlights of my quick trip to New York: the Pecora Bianco snowglobe reading moment mentioned above; drinks at Dante (had never been somehow and was obsessed — great cocktail menu, cozy vibe, exquisite service!); and a long food-for-the-soul lunch catch-up with my girlfriend Mackenzie. I’m sure you all know her but if you don’t follow her, you must. She is wise, deeply empathetic, and has a wicked sense of humor. I treasure her — a gem. I’ve known her now for a long, long time because we both started our blogs years ago (a decade?) and she has always been a cheerleader and support for me.
P.S. One of my last trips to New York, documented here.
A few of you have asked me for a post on a capsule wardrobe and I spent a lot of time vetting versatile pieces that I absolutely loved individually. I wanted each piece to be something I would look forward to wearing over and over in different combinations, and I can safely say I would love owning each and every piece below. All of these pieces are reasonably priced with the exception of the Manolos and Hayden Lasher bag, but I have noted a few “upgrade pick” options alongside several in case you are contemplating an investment.
I also wanted to mention that I’ve been spotlighting Margaux ballet flats a lot lately in my roundups, having heard fabulous things about them. I do not (yet!) own a pair but I am tempted to snag a pair in their ongoing Archive Sale, with some styles under $100!
Have we all been organizing our homes in little bursts of January energy? Sometimes, these activities leave us with swollen hearts (ahem!), and other times, a sense of round satisfaction. One of the big insights I have about maintaining tidiness in my home is having the proper gear on hand to begin with. One problem area I need to tackle soon is the front hall coat closet, whose floor is always cluttered with gloves and hats that have spilled out of the too-small bin I keep there for that purpose, and a stray pair of shoes (or two). I know this is because I have not yet found the right storage solutions for that space and I will get there.
In the meantime, sharing my favorite organization gear for parts of my home that ARE properly sorted below. As a preface to this, if you do not have a labelmaker, you aren’t living. Ha! It is such a small thing but truly sparks joy. I label everything. Great for bins and shelves, of course, but also spices, putting expiration dates or “opened on” dates on baking goods, etc.
Kitchen + Pantry Organization Gear.
01. SEVILLE CLASSIC IMPLEMENT ORGANIZER — This is so sturdy and well-made, and the design is brilliant — you can expand/contract to fit the dimensions of nearly any drawer.
02. YAMAZAKI TOSCA BINS — Ideal for bulk items in pantry (bags of chips, baking ingredients, beans, etc.)
03. PLASTIC STORAGE BINS — I use these everywhere in the home (linen closet, medicine cabinet, cleaning supply areas, bulk cosmetics/body care), but especially like them for organizing our pantry’s expansive baking area. I have bins for different flours, sugars, chocolates, nuts, etc, and each one is labeled.
04. WIRE BASKETS — Great for citrus in the fridge, allium in the pantry, and bulk items (we currently use for canned tomatoes, beans, etc). We also use for stowing used dishtowels beneath the sink before we take to launder in basket. The wire design prevents mold by letting air in!
05. CHINOISERIE ORCHID POT — Technically an orchid pot but I have seen this style used as a crock to hold kitchen implements and have wanted one for a long time. We have a plain white ceramic one, which has its virtues (goes with everything, looks tidy), but I’d love one of these instead.
Children’s Organization Gear.
06. LIDDED TOY STORAGE BINS — My favorite for big sets of toys like magnatiles, blocks, duplos, train sets, Barbies.
07. ROLLING STORAGE BIN — I actually don’t own this but have been eyeing as an upgrade for my children’s dress-up and stuffed animal collections — the soft things they like to dig through and could stand to be contained altogether.
08 AND 09. WOVEN PINK BINS AND PEHR POM BINS — Love these for keeping doll accessories and other little sets of toys (Calico Critters, Maileg, cars, tiny animal figurines) easy to access.
10. ZIPTOP POUCHES — Perfect for decanting puzzles, games, markers, etc into — I especially like these for mini’s Playmobil and Lego sets (or anything with lots of small pieces/parts!) Take up so much less space than bulky boxes and hold up better, too.
11. EXTRA LARGE ROPE BIN — A Godsend for all the random toys that seem to clutter the floors of my children’s rooms. I’m talking one-off items like our one My Little Pony, our Little Tikes guitar, the Barbie boat, etc. Things that otherwise don’t really have a natural home and I can just pile altogether.
12. MESH WIRE ROLLING BIN — Perfect for stowing bulky athletic gear, balls, etc. We actually keep this in our garage and I find it perfect for wheeling out when the kids are playing in back yard.
Closet Organization Gear.
01. BAMBOO DRAWER DIVIDERS — These are so handy for keeping ship-shape dresser drawers. Much easier to keep tees and tanks properly folded or rolled.
02. COLLAPSIBLE FABRIC CLOTHING BINS — I recently moved all of my out-of-season items into these, which now line the top shelf of my closet. They are a smallish size (I would say enough for two side by side stacks of shirts/pants), which I like, because they are easier to lift and manipulate, and the clear “window” enables you to see what’s inside. I also like the zippered top because — again, easier to lift up and down without items falling out — and it preserves the clothing.
03. SHELF DIVIDERS — I actually use these in mini’s closet as we keep her bulkier sweaters and sweatshirts there on fairly long shelves. So helpful for little kids — basically creates cubbies!
04. VELVET JEWELRY ORGANIZER — I love these SO much. I keep them stacked in my closet so I can easily find and plan my jewelry for the day. No more tangles/piles!
05. UNDERWEAR/SOCK/BRA ORGANIZER — Just the best way to keep the pesky undergarment drawer tidy. It is really hard to keep underwear in particular organized without it.
07. STACKABLE DRAWER ORGANIZERS — These actually line every drawer and medicine cabinet in my home. SO great for organizing small things — hair ties, cosmetics, perfumes, paper clips, pens, etc! I especially love them in the top drawer of my bathroom vanity, though. I keep ONLY my must-have daily cosmetics there so everything is easy to grab and see. Things like eye shadows and lipsticks that I only wear sparingly I keep in clear zippered pouches beneath the sink.
08. MARBLE VANITY TRAY — The quickest way to streamline a bathroom countertop: just corral all your most-used beauty/everyday items onto one. Makes everything feel much more organized!
09. CLEAR DRAWER CUBE — I use two of these to keep medicines/first aid in our linen closet. Each drawer is labeled and it gives everything a home. You know exactly where to find the eye drops vs. the throat lozenges.
10. PLASTIC STORAGE BINS — These are actually fantastic in every “utility” area of the home. We use to group cleaning supplies, dog grooming gear / supplies, batteries, light bulbs, under-sink paraphernalia, toilet paper, etc. They are really light-weight and relatively inexpensive but just the right dimensions for these kinds of uses. Buy a pack of 12 and you will see that they come in handy everywhere.
P.P.P.S. How do you stay organized, more generally?
By: Jen Shoop
I am moved today by poet Wendell Berry, who — I think — was speaking directly to me this past Sunday night when I laid awake in a spiral of worry over some symptoms that had emerged in my daughter. (She is fine.) Despite having an arsenal of tools to lean on and the strangely comforting vision of a constellation of Magpie moms shouldering the same worries in their own twisted bedsheets (I know, now, I am not alone!), I tossed and turned, and strained for “the presence of still water.” I felt, too, a new sensation: irritation. I was peeved by the familiar trap of my midnight mindset. I know that things always look better in the morning, if for no reason than the turning of a blank page onto which I might throw all of my proactive energy in arranging doctor’s appointments, lining up treatments. I know that I must simply make it to daybreak. And yet, I lay there, stuck. I watched two episodes of “Selena + Chef” to divert myself and eventually tumbled into sleep. I was right, of course. First light brought relief. So, too, did the morning walk with Tilly, a moment to “come into the peace of wild things / that do not tax their lives with the forethought / of grief.” A reminder to get outside…! Mary Oliver would approve.
The poem in full below —
The Peace of Wild Things
by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with the forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
+My current favorite gift wrap — we’ve had so many children’s parties these past few weeks and I LOVE this festive paper for littles and bigs alike. (And I always keep cute enclosure cards from Erin Wallace on hand in lieu of needing to buy a Hallmark card for every birthday!)
*Image above via Zara featuring this chic pearl-embellished cardigan.
Zara is such a great place to snap up wardrobe staples and playful statement pieces without breaking the bank. Below, a roundup of the best pieces I have seen as of late — their site is ultra-confusing to navigate so sharing a tidy list here…
1. HIGH-WAISTED FIGURE-FLATTERING TAPERED MOM-FIT JEANS IN A VERSATILE LIGHT WASH
2. CRISP PLEATED GIRLS’ SKORT WITH AN ELASTIC WAISTBAND AND A CUTE SIDE BUCKLE
3. NAUTICAL-INSPIRED STRIPED KNIT SWEATER FOR LITTLES
4. NAVY AND RED STRIPED BUTTON-FRONT KNIT CARDIGAN WITH PATCH POCKETS AND GOLD-TONED HARDWARE
5. RELAXED-FIT DROP SHOULDER RIBBED CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT…SUCH A COMFORTABLE LOUNGEWEAR STAPLE
6. FITTED CREAMY IVORY CARDIGAN WITH CONTRASTING BLACK TRIM AND ADORABLE LITTLE PEARL BUTTONS
7. CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT AND RIBBED LEGGING TWO-PIECE JOGGING SET IN A GREY ALL-OVER FLORAL PRINT
9. COLLARED CROPPED CARDIGAN WITH CONTRASTING BUTTON CLOSURE AND LARGE PATCH POCKETS…I THINK THIS OATMEAL COLOR IS SO VERSATILE
10. COLLARLESS SNAP-FRONT QUILTED PUFFER JACKET WITH TWO FRONT POCKETS IN AN YELLOWISH-OLIVE COLOR
11. RETRO-INSPIRED HIGH-RISE WIDE-LEG JEANS IN A DARK WASH WITH FRONT AND BACK PATCH POCKETS AND A RAW HEM…I LOVE THE MODERN UPDATES TO THIS CLASSIC 70’S SILHOUETTE!
12. OVERSIZED WOOL BLEND SWEATER IN A CHIC PINK COLOR WITH RIBBED SCALLOPED TRIM…A GREAT LAYERING PIECE ON SALE FOR UNDER $20, WHAT A STEAL!
13. MONOCHROME TAUPE SUEDE COWHIDE SNEAKERS FOR LITTLES WITH A DOUBLE VELCRO STRAP AND A RUBBER TOE CAP
This week, answering a bunch of WYSF questions about work attire in one deeper dive post. I am writing this with a business casual code in mind, which I believe addresses most of us (though not the finance and law Magpies out there — sorry! I see you!). My personal opinion is that you can get away with a lot (including frayed jeans and leather mini skirts — see below) if you are thoughtful about the silhouette and palette, which is wonderful news, as this means you can make elements of your weekend wardrobe work in the office, too. When I say “thoughtful about the silhouette,” I mainly mean that I keep an eye out for interesting shapes that look fashion-forward and sleek, especially ones with interesting angles/details, as evidenced by the photo at the top of this post. For example, this Rag & Bone top tucked into dark denim will look like a million bucks. I also think about proportionality. Don’t wear something really tight on top and bottom. Balance a slim-fit turtleneck with a fuller skirt or wide-leg trousers, or a boxier jacket with trim cigarette pants. If you are doing a mini skirt, make sure you balance with a lot of coverage elsewhere (e.g., button-down and cardigan).
Q: Shorter-length shorts for older boys that are reasonably priced (closer to $20). Keep an eye on J. Crew’s dock shorts as we approach summer. They run sales all the time and I’ve scored for under $20/pair. Great colors. More expensive, but not Minnow/Cadets prices: these RLs and TBBC Sheffield shorts. (You can also occasionally find both on sale if you hunt / keep tabs on the brands.)
Q: Style for older children. A lot of this question recently – will dedicate a separate post to this – but check out the older girl styles from Bisby, Pink Chicken, and Busy Bees. They feel like the natural extension to a lot of the younger girl styles I feature. Also having good luck at Crewcuts for classic pieces in fun patterns/colors.
Q: Dramatic top for Valentine’s Day date.Ooh. la. la.
Below, a selection of irresistibly discounted high-end finds from the current Net-A-Porter sale worth browsing, including lust-worthy special occasions pieces from Johanna Ortiz (her statement styles seen above) and Emilia Wickstead, two designers I absolutely adore. Emilia’s pieces in particular are dreamy to consider for milestone moments — mother-of-the-bride, graduation, special anniversary.
1. CAMEL-COLORED CLASSIC CHUNKY CABLE-KNIT CREWNECK SWEATER WITH RIBBED ACCENTS MADE FROM AN ULTRA-SOFT WOOL BLEND
2. BIODEGRADABLE AND COMPOSTABLE SLIM VIBRANT SAFFRON-TONED ETHICALLY SOURCED LEATHER CLUTCH FOR A CHIC AND SUSTAINABLE ACCESSORY TO ANY OUTFIT
3. MONOCHROMATIC BLUE HYDRANGEA PRINTED COLLARED MIDI DRESS WITH CRISP VERTICAL KNIFE PLEATS THROUGHOUT AND POCKETS HIDDEN IN THE SEAMS
4. LUXURIOUS AND LIGHTWEIGHT BABY PINK COTTON-VOILE ANKLE-LENGTH NIGHTGOWN WITH SMOCKED NECKLINE AND RUFFLE HEM
5. BIOMORPHIC PRINTED SILK-SATIN FIGURE-FLATTERING, YET LOOSE FIT MAXI DRESS — ACTUALLY FOUND THIS ON SALE FOR EVEN LESS IN LIMITED SIZES HERE AND HERE
6. HIGH-WAISTED DRAMATIC WIDE-LEG JEANS IN AN OFF-WHITE COLOR…A GOOD PRICE FOR A TIMELESS, HIGH-QUALITY WARDROBE ESSENTIAL
7. RAINBOW STRIPE WOVEN RAFFIA BUCKET BAG WITH PLAYFUL “GOOGLY EYES” AND AN ADJUSTABLE LEATHER STRAP
8. VINTAGE-INSPIRED CREPE DE CHINE SLEEVELESS MAXI DRESS WITH HAND EMBROIDERY AND SMOCKING ON THE BODICE IN A DELICATE MULTICOLOR FLORAL PATTERN
9. AIRY LINEN WIDE-LEG PANTS WITH A THICK ELASTIC DRAWSTRING WAISTBAND IN A PLAYFUL PASTEL GREEN PAISLEY PATTERN
10. PICNIC-PERFECT WHITE FIT-AND-FLARE MIDI DRESS WITH A THICK SMOCKED WAISTBAND AND A HEAD-TURNING OPEN BACK MADE FROM A CRISP COTTON-SATEEN BLEND
11. FLOWING SUNNY YELLOW TAFFETA FLOOR-LENGTH GOWN WITH A HALTER NECKLINE, AND BEST OF ALL…POCKETS!
12. RELAXED-FIT LIGHTWEIGHT COTTON-BLEND BLOUSE WITH ELBOW-LENGTH SLEEVES AND AN ELEGANTLY FLOWING SILHOUETTE IN ARMY GREEN
13. EFFORTLESSLY CHIC PINK AND RED ROSE PRINTED SLEEVELESS PLAYSUIT WITH A GATHERED NECKLINE AND DRAPED PANELING
I was bowled over by the response to my post last week on the pinch of watching your babies grow. I received so many direct messages and emails, and several friends and fellow creatives shared bits of my essay on their own Instagram accounts. One of the loveliest and most stirring responses I received was from a Magpie who shared this post from creative Allie Royal:
I treasure this re-frame. It brought me to a pause; as good a reminder as any to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. There will be more days, more moments, more memories. And we contain all the version of our babies to boot. “I will fill your hands and I will your heart” — amen.
In a similar heart-on-my-sleeve vein, I wanted to re-publish today a modestly-edited musing I wrote awhile back about honoring my children, making a space for them, in the rush of the every day. Every time I think of the phrase “It’s their day, too,” a lump forms in my throat. Their needs are (though individually small) many, and remembering to consider what the day looks like from their vantage is easy for me to forget. Today, taking a minute to look at the world through their eyes.
*****
At some point over the last year, I came across an essay by Katie Blackburn in which she shared the perspective that although some days feel like a progress-less wash of repetitions, “it’s their day, too.” By this she meant that her children, active participants in the very day she had just heaved a sigh over, might have a very different outlook on the day’s happenings. Where we might see piles of laundry, meltdowns, and too many refills of the snack cup, they might remember playing magnatiles with you on the floor, your soothing voice talking them through a blowup with a sibling, and “the day my mom finally let me have those snacks I’ve been begging for all month.” I have been treasuring this perspective. It has left me feeling better about slow weekends during which the highlight is a trip to the public library and no one is out of pajamas until 10 and though I might lose my patience enforcing this or that rule (currently: staying seated at the dining room table), I have made my point through tedious correction after tedious correction and trust that these rules of decorum will eventually percolate because I am putting in the time. I wrote not long ago that “Maybe I have done the hard work of motherhood and not even realized it because I tend to mistake “progress” for “folded laundry” and “a completed to-do list” rather than the hundred tiny and un-notable interactions of love that go into parenting every single day.” This feels doubly true when I remember “it’s their day, too.” My children do not care if my bed is made or I have crossed everything off of my to-do list. They care that I listen to their rambling stories about the bunny (“Thumper,” we call him) that traipses through our backyard, and murmur empathy over skinned knees from earlier today (“look, mama!”), and permit them to flop into my lap with a stack of books, and speak gibberish while playing “Barbs” with them.
Too often, I tell my children: “in a minute” or “not right now.” I feel appropriately chastised at this moment by remembering “it’s their day, too.” My children are not inconveniences, or afterthoughts, to be worked around or ushered from Point A to Point B. They are at the heart of my day. They are its heart. Of course, it is not possible to arrest all housework and play all day long, but I could stand to say “yes” more often. I was made keenly aware of this last night when mini asked us if we could play “Ariel” after dinner, and, though we are normally afluster during that crescent of time before bed as we rapidly clean the kitchen, clear the plates, feed and walk the dog, and retire toys to their appropriate bins, we both said, “Yes.” For fifteen minutes, we accommodated her labyrinthine rules of play, donning strange voices and spiraling around the family room. For fifteen minutes, she absolutely beamed. It was her day, too.
Post-Scripts.
+Winter is always a long stretch with little ones indoors for the ballast of it. I have some detailed posts on indoor activities for toddlers and sensory play that might help you through.
+We have grasscloth wall coverings with a circular pattern imprinted on it in our powder room and this cane rattan bin coordinates SO well with it. I use it to keep extra toilet paper, tissue paper, and hand towels on the exposed shelf beneath the sink. A small thing but it sparks joy every time I see it.
+Meant to mention in my athletic wear post that these $12 tanks are still my favorite for running in warmer weather — or cycling indoors.
+This striped shirt looks perfect. On sale for 25% off in select sizes here.
+Dunno why, but I’m dreaming of that shirt tucked into white Agolde jean shorts (<<on sale)!
+A bunch of Kissy Kissy on sale for 60-70% off here for itty bitty babies…this little set is only $10 and you can’t even get a onesie from them for under $25!
+Fool-proof way to preoccupy toddlers on a rainy morning.
+Eyeing one of these “casita” dresses for the upcoming summer.
This week’s Magpie Edit assumes a new, provisional shape. I very much expect to return to the former format next week, but this week — this week. Nothing bad or serious happened, but I felt like a piece of driftwood being tossed by deep sea waves. There were HVAC issues, playdates and parties, prep for travel next week, intense summer camp registrations (“BE ONLINE AT THE STROKE OF 10 A.M. WITH WALLET IN HAND OR YOUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER EVER EVER GET IN…ALSO YOU NEED TO HAVE THE EXACT DATES OF THEIR LAST TETANUS SHOTS, COPIES OF YOUR LIVING WILL…”), last-minute doctors appointments, a barrage of small pockets of unpleasant news from loved ones (ailments! sick children!), meetings, missing packages, prep for my husband’s birthday, a lot of logisticizing over social gatherings and plans for the coming weeks, wrangling sitters. I thought I might lose it when the birthday gift I’d ordered last week for a little girl in mini’s class went missing in the mail, necessitating me to make a last-minute stop to the toy store on a day where I was already slaloming around immovable commitments. You know. All the proper “adulting stuff” we somehow muscle through on a weekly basis, just particularly highly concentrated into a stretch of seven days.
As I said, nothing serious or bad, just — life.
Therefore, I felt uninspired by myself this week. Ha. All the joy I normally take in snapping small vignettes of things I’m liking in my daily life did not materialize. I have virtually nothing meaningful on my phone from this week save for a photo I took of my daughter teaching my son to write (I wish I’d taken a video — she was instructing with such patience and gentleness), in which my son is wearing underwear and a too-small pajama top backwards with stains all down the front. Not exactly blog-appropriate. However, my husband’s amaryllis (seen above) did bloom this week, and I was able to wipe the fog from my eyes long enough to appreciate that miracle.
I was also still able to maintain my resolution not to eat lunch at my desk, but I had to sort of fudge a bit by working on my phone instead while eating downstairs.
I did not do a good job truly listening to my husband when he was telling me about an issue he’s been trying to think through at work.
My mother stopped by to deliver a gift for Mr. Magpie and I more or less received the gift and ushered her out the door.
I hated every outfit I wore this week. Like, every single one.
I did stick to my running regimen, but one was woefully clipped short by an impending camp registration (I’d foolishly wedged the run in between drop-off and a 10 a.m. registration), and I was peeved because I went into it with a BIG energy.
There wasn’t really….a choice? though? It felt like there was nothing I could drop this week. Sharing all of this drivel because I know many of you can relate. Some weeks are fallow and others are full. This was full in the bad kind of way — full of stuff and logistics, fallow for the soul. Hoping to flip the equation next week. (What can I drop?!)
Still —
I did manage to stumble across some goodies I need to share with my Magpies:
+Watching: “Break Point” on Netflix. A really fun docu-series on rising tennis stars. We tore through this over the course of the week during “our one allotted hour of recreation per day,” as Mr. Magpie puts it, morosely. The margins just run thin right now–by the time children are in bed, dog is walked, kitchen and living areas are cleaned, it’s 8 P.M. and we try most nights to head up to bed around 9. Anyhow, setting aside our lame parenting woes, “Break Point” is fun. This season tangos with a lot of interesting elements of tennis: competition, financing, mental wellness for athletes. Mr. Magpie felt that the show didn’t do a good job editing footage of the actual matches (he’s an actual tennis player so I trust there is merit in this critique), but beyond that, we were gripped.
+Reading: Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevins. Oh my goodness – this book is incredible. I am about a quarter of the way through and find the imaginativeness of the narrative structure (borrows a lot from “gaming” conventions) beautifully suited to the story, which is itself about gamers, but so much more than that. Zevins has a lovely way of communicating in understated, almost matter-of-fact prose. There is one line where she writes: “She had, he thought, one of the world’s greatest laughs.” Simple, but so artfully done: this quiet observation of what is undoubtedly hyperbole nearly brought me to tears. A Hemingway vibe, situated in a more modern context. I am loving this book.
+Wearing: Given my hissy fit about hating everything I wore this week, I ordered a bunch of new items that I can’t wait to share. I don’t normally shop like this (I’m more opportunistic — buying items here and there as I come upon them), but I placed a big order at Shopbop, including a few pairs of jeans (shared those styles yesterday), a bunch of dresses to try on for various special occasions (especially excited about this and this), two new white frilly tops (a weakness for me, but I really get so much wear out of them — ordered this and this), and this basic white everyday tee I’ve heard good things about. I’m thinking that shirt will be perfect for a front-tuck (untucked in back) with the Gap jeans I’ve been wearing allll the time.
+Eating: I love food diaries, don’t you? I won’t drag you through my entire eating itinerary, but peak dishes from this week were: a big Indian order from Vegz down in Adams Morgan (so delicious — note that the dosas reheat beautifully in the oven); potatoes dauphinoise from Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles cookbook (which Mr. Magpie served alongside roast chicken and Daniel Boulud carrots, which are, like, the most deliciously tender garlic-y carrots you will ever eat); homemade tortellini en brodo; and a breakfast of peanut butter puffins and sliced bananas in oat milk (I rarely have cereal but this combination is so incredibly satisfying). By the time you are reading this, I will be halfway into preparing for Mr. Magpie’s birthday dinner (HBD MR. MAGPIE!), for which I am making a couple of dishes from the Jerusalem cookbook, including their incredible koftes, and a chocolate cake from Bravetart. Hoping I will mentally be tacking these dishes onto this list of highlights.
+Thinking: I spent a lot of time thinking about motherhood this week. I was so moved by the many comments, DMs, and emails this post garnered. The same day I published that essay, I learned that my friend’s son (toddler-aged) had been taken by ambulance to the E.R. because of a seizure (turned out to be fever-induced and so we think all is going to be OK), and I found myself just sort of moody and sniffly about motherhood and the tremendous blessing and burden of caring for children. Last night, my son woke me up twice wanting to come into our bed. We’ve had to instate a new and rather severe rule about this because he was coming in too often and then keeping all three of us awake for large stretches of the night. So instead I made a makeshift bed on his floor, thinking this would be a clever way to cuddle him and work him through this transition, and he was apoplectic. “I like big beds!” he cried, enormous crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks in his midnight confusion. (I was tired but not too tired to resist the urge to sing in my head, “I like big beds and I cannot lie…!”) And so instead I cradled him in my arms sitting on the floor, rocking him back and forth just like I did for months on end in his nursery in our second NYC apartment, which was too small to fit an armchair. This felt situationally ironic, as I just mentioned how much I miss rocking him to sleep. (Karma is a queen!) His eyes kept drooping closed and then swinging open and finally, about twenty minutes (and two or three decades of the rosary) in, he quietly rose and laid himself in his own bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Then he was up again an hour later. I do not know why. Things were back to normal the night following. Motherhood is a lot like this: looking for patterns, occasionally finding some, usually writing things off as “a blip.” You have to be fleet-footed in this role, constantly reminding yourself that everything is temporary. Motherhood is also a lot like this: eating leftover cantelope, some of which has become smudged with maple syrup or yogurt, off your children’s plates and calling it breakfast. I think one aspect I am trying to communicate here is that motherhood can sometimes feel like a stereogram: you look at it one way, and you’re in the nitty-gritty weeds; you look at it another way, and you’re overwhelmed by its majesty. Sometimes you are seeing both views at once, too, which makes things ultra chaotic. Like, I was exhausted rocking my son to sleep twice in one night, but I was also tender-hearted about it. How is it possible that I can be simultaneously looking at both the Grand Canyon and a fistful of individual grains of dirt gathered in my palm? Motherhood demands it.
+Reframing: A special thank you to a Magpie reader who encouraged me to say “I GET to run” instead of “I HAVE to run.” I’ve been applying this re-frame to a lot this week. As an example, my tantrum about having to run out to the toy store at the last minute. I told myself: “I GET to do this.” Like, how wonderful that a “pain point” in my day was going to a toy store to select a toy for a sweet girl? That I have a car to do it in, that I have a flexible schedule to accommodate, that I have the means to buy her something wonderful, that this errand wasn’t something like, say, getting a colonoscopy or rushing off to the ER with a toddler in a seizure? I know, I’m sounding vaguely Pollyanna over here but the phrase does help reframe when you’re irritated by the things “in your way” each day.
+Shopping: Aside from my Shopbop haul, I picked up a few items from the Oso and Me sale (ends today!) for my son, some sweet little girl finds for mini (shared almost all of them here), this Lug Von Siga top (super sale), some new Merit beauty products (bronzer, brush, foundation/concealer hybrid), and a bunch of new fitness duds for Mr. Magpie, who has been regimented about his indoor cycling since the start of the year. I bought him a pair of these Reigning Champ hybrid training shorts in the fir green (found on sale in black here), a Beyond Yoga tee, these repetition shorts from Alo, Nike crew socks, a Nike hat (love the throwback flair), and this Rhone tee. I thought it’d be good for him to test a bunch of different higher-end performance wear brands to see what he likes vs. not and then we can purchase more as needed. He does not need new shoes at the moment, but I’m curious what he’d make of these wildly popular On Cloudmonster ones. The colors are SO good, but I think he’ll find the style gimmicky? (He’s usually, like me, a Nike athlete).
Writing all of that out, I’m aware that this week actually did have some magic to it. Thank you for allowing me the space to see that.
I am mainly excited about two pairs of jeans I ordered to try that I’ve been eyeing for awhile and that are Magpie reader favorites, too — these Khaites and these Citizens. I was in a denim-buying mood, I guess, because I also snagged a pair of these popular Mango “culotte” jeans while on sale for only $30! I got them in the unexpected faded gray color. I thought they’d be chic paired with a white button-down or a pastel top for spring. I’m also still living in these Gap jeans, which I know many of you have also purchased and are also enjoying. They have the perfect amount of stretch and the unfinished hem means you can cut them yourself to hit at the exact right part of your leg.
2. PASTEL MULTICOLOR SET OF FOUR GIRLS’ ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE SHORT SLEEVE CREWNECK TOPS — MINI IS OBSESSED WITH THESE; SEE ALL MY ATHLETIC FINDS FOR HER HERE
3. 100% COTTON NON-STRETCH HIGH-WAISTED LIGHT WASH JEANS IN AN ANKLE-LENGTH KICK FLARE SILHOUETTE
4. SLEEVELESS BRIGHT PINK ALLOVER PLEATED MIDI DRESS WITH COORDINATING WAIST BELT AND RUFFLED COLLAR AND FLUTTER SLEEVES
5. WHITE COTTON-POPLIN COLLARLESS LONG-SLEEVE BUTTON-UP WITH PINTUCKING AND RUFFLE DETAILING AT THE CHEST FOR A FEMININE SPIN ON THIS CLASSIC WARDROBE STAPLE
6. NEW BALANCE CASUAL LOGO SNEAKERS WITH A MULTI-TONE BLUE UPPER MADE OF SUEDE AND MESH — THIS MONOCHROMATIC MARVEL IS COMFORTABLE AND DURABLE FOR UNDER $100
7. MINIMALISTIC PICTURE FRAME WITH A THIN TEXTURED BRASS BORDER AND OFF-WHITE MAT
8. LIGHTWEIGHT HIGH-RISE PLEATED WIDE-LEG BLACK TWILL TROUSERS
9. PERSONALIZED AND COLORFUL TWO-TONE WEEKLY PLANNER NOTEPAD
10. LIGHT PINK WOVEN RAFFIA MEDIUM-SIZED TOTE BAG WITH DURABLE CANVAS LINING AND RUFFLED DETAILS AT THE SEAMS
11. ONE-PIECE CLASSIC SWIMSUIT WITH A STUNNING DEEP-V NECKLINE IN BRIGHT FUSCHIA MADE FROM PRIMARILY RECYCLED MATERIALS…ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITE SWIM STYLES (FLATTERING!), AND IT’S CURRENTLY ON SALE
12. SLIP-ON BLOCK-HEELED RAFFIA SANDALS WITH AN OH-SO COMFORTABLE MEMORY FOAM CUSHION SOLE AND GORGEOUS LAYERED RUFFLES
13. SET OF 25 HIGH-QUALITY CARDSTOCK “WILD ABOUT YOU” ADORABLE ILLUSTRATED VALENTINES CARDS WITH NAME PERSONALIZATION
14. RICH DARK GREEN ONE-PIECE SWIMSUIT WITH A SQUARE NECKLINE AND A PUCKERED RIBBED TEXTURE
15. GRAPHIC FLORAL PRINTED A-LINE VOLUMINOUS MAXI SKIRT WITH CONTRASTING BORDER TRIM
16. LIGHTWEIGHT FITTED ZIP-UP MOCK NECK YOGA JACKET WITH FRONT ZIPPERED POCKETS IN LIGHT BLUE
“I love talking about her, by the way, so if I cry, it’s only a beautiful thing. This is all the unexpressed love, the grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter if someone lives till 60, 15, or 99. So I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that I didn’t get to tell her.”
The sentiment stopped me in my tracks. It reminded me of a parallel insight from a kind friend, who consoled me while I was spluttering through tears about my son’s first day of preschool by reminding me — gently — that there was nothing scary or dark about my weepiness; it was simply a manifestation of my love for my son. I wrote about the experience last year, noting: “She reassured me in all the right ways. She shared that her son has blossomed while in school, and that she treasures listening to the voices of her two children chatting about teachers and classmates and concepts like “hemispheres” and “alphabet sounds” (they are also a Montessori family) at night. She reminded me that our sons are developmentally ready to be away, and that they need time apart from their moms. And then she said: “But you should let yourself feel all the feels. It just shows how much you love your role as a mom.” The words came like a hug. I realized that instead of using this transition as an occasion to browbeat over moments I have missed or blindly marched through in my son’s baby years, and instead of mourning his babyhood, I could welcome this moment to just sit with the awareness that I love him so much I don’t want anything about him to change. And to see that there is nothing dark or rueful or terminal afoot: it is all borne by the same love that carried him into this world. He is mine, and he is not mine, and my emotions around these truths are just permutations of love.”
Garfield’s insight that grief is “the unexpressed love I didn’t get to tell her” reminded me that grief, too, is a permutation of love. And what a beautiful, uplifting way to think of it.
P.S. If you are grieving — you are not alone! I’ve written a lot on this subject. Some musings here, here, here.
Shopping Break.
+I mentioned this earlier this week, but J. McLaughlin is offering an extra 40% off all sale items. My go-to cold day reversible sherpa/puffer coat is included! I had questions on sizing. I took an XS and it is roomy/oversized. If they had an XXS, I would have taken that, but I’ve made do! It’s nice to have a little extra room for layering over chunky winter knits.
+Love these chic Gucci slides in the brown leather. I have a similar pair of leather slides from Hermes that go with absolutely everything in my closet all summer long — dresses, shorts, jeans!
+After my post on athletic wear, I received a few questions from readers about wearing crew socks over leggings, as is the style with the younger generations. I’ve been doing this for the last two years purely from a functional standpoint — my feet get cold running in the winter and I like to wear a thick sock pulled up over the legging, to mid-calf, for extra warmth. Historically, I’ve worn Alo’s retro style socks, but these Nike crew socks are what all the cool girls wear semi-ironically over leggings with granny sneaks (like white Reeboks). I just ordered a set myself! Will share a styled photo next week.
+I have been wearing my Pam Munson Teddy all winter long. You CAN wear straw in the winter! Having the leather trim makes it feel more transitional to different season. Also love the Loewe straw bag with the leather patch. You can get the look for less with this $50 style.
+I keep hearing fabulous things about this pressed powder. I usually just wear tinted moisturizer (currently obsessed with Saie’s formula), and add a little bit of Westman Atelier’s foundation stick wherever I need a bit of extra coverage and then blend together. When I’m doing more of a full face of makeup, I’ll use more of the foundation stick and top with this fabulous translucent setting powder (currently on sale!). But I’m intrigued by the Iredale stuff. People say it is the only powder foundation that is not cake-y / looks invisible when on. Might be good for summer or if you have oilier skin.
+These scalloped dishes are so chic and well-priced (and porcelain)! Love the entire series, and might propose even using more for decor than actual dining. Like the bowl could be cute way to stow hair ties/clips on a bathroom counter.
+H&M home has a bunch of other cute home finds — like these patterned tea towels! No sense for how well they absorb but cute as more of the decorative ones you hang on the oven or use to line a bread basket. (For actual use, I like the cheap flour sack ones.) Also love these spiral candlesticks!
+These solid-colored men’s swim trunks come in great colors and I love the shorter length. Some colors on sale here!
+Can’t stop thinking about this ultra-chic jumpsuit…wow!
+Do you use LTK? It’s a shopping app where you can follow bloggers/creatives you like — you can see my profile here. This blog is always and forever my home base, so I generally post the collages I share here over there, too, but sometimes do smaller roundups and snaps of my daily outfits, in case you’re interested in more. Three really popular recent posts over there were: these Amazon finds for littles, this photo of a simple everyday outfit, and this roundup of recent Magpie favorites.
