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If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen me wearing the outfit above/below as a part of a project I did with Saks. I am obsessed with each and every item I’m wearing here — versatile and the colors feel very transitional (neither too autumnal nor too summer-y). Jeans run really big. I ordered in my true size and I’m swimming in them to be honest but can’t find them a size down anywhere in this fabulous color!
*This has become my favorite hat for pool. Love the flat brim. Easier to read with / wear with sunglasses — I find myself not adjusting it as much as I do my others.
One of my favorite daily prompts for journaling or reflection while taking Tilly on her morning walk: “What’s the most important thing today?” This provocation acts like a homing device for my intentions and values, directing me to shed the trivial and focus on what really matters. I like to segment my response in a couple of ways: what’s the most important thing on my plate for work today? what’s the most important thing with my children today? what’s the most important thing in my marriage today? etc. I find that the answers are nearly always obvious, on the tip of my tongue, and yet they change from day to day. For example, in parenting, today’s was letting my son know how much he is loved. He had an incident with an unkind boy at camp and told us earnestly, at the dinner table, between sips of milk: “Some people don’t like me.” We talked at length about how many people love him. How people will say and do unkind things, and how we can respond, and how we can not let those things change how we think about ourselves. But, of course, I laid in bed and worried, and so this morning’s “most important thing” was divining new ways to reinforce how cherished he is, to model how to let unpleasantness slick off our back like water, to cultivate self-love. But tomorrow’s might be different. So, too, with work, and with relationships, and household admin. But isolating the top matter helps me avoid that spiraling feeling of “there is too much to stay on top of!”
I thought I’d take this prompt in a different direction today, by funneling it into a new set of icebreakers for you all to weigh in on. (If you’re new-ish here, I encourage you to read earlier icebreakers here and here, where Magpies invariably answer my prompts with charm, idiosyncrasy, and wit). Aim to answer each with a few words!
What’s the most important thing —
…on the first day of a new job?
…when getting dressed?
…when setting the table for a good day?
…when apologizing?
…when creating a fabulous meal?
…in a happy relationship?
…when enjoying a great conversation?
…when speaking in public?
I’ll go first!
…on the first day of a new job? An open mind. And don’t pack lunch! This forces you to find someone who can take you under his/her wing so you get to know the ropes and find early allies/work-friends.
…when getting dressed? Wear what sparks joy. This sounds woo woo but can be a huge mood elevator.
…when setting the table for a good day? A good night of sleep!
…when apologizing? Understanding that a true apology asks for nothing in return — not even forgiveness. It is a confession of wrongdoing!
…when creating a fabulous meal? Great ingredients and good music.
…in a happy relationship? Grace. After that, laughter.
…when enjoying a great conversation? Listening and occasionally suppressing the urge to share what you want to share. A good conversation goes both ways, of course, but I have learned in my late 30s that sometimes we don’t need to share our take, our experience, our story. Sometimes it is more meaningful to let the other person shine, have the floor, etc.
…when speaking in public? Control the first sentence. If you can deliver the first line slowly and clearly, it sets the precedent for the remainder. Speak much more deliberately than you think feels natural, and take a three second pause after the first period. I promise this strategic pacing will set you up for success.
Please share your thoughts on any or all of these prompts in the comments!
+Recently bought this reasonably-priced set of stainless steel mixing bowls and they are in CONSTANT USE. They aren’t quite as lightweight as the Vollrath enormous one (8 QT size) I’ve raved about in the past, but they are super inexpensive and the sizes are perfect for all your kitchen / mise en place utility work. Use as scrap bowls, to soak veg, to prep ingredients, to marinate, etc. Can’t rec enough.
+Ordered a bunch of jeans to try on for fall and will share snaps next week. I’m really intrigued by the brand SLVRLAKE, which seems to be having a moment! Especially excited to try these Grace jeans!
+Ordered myself this weekly pad specifically to keep things organized for the children — will list play dates, after school activities, lunch, etc. You can get 10% off sitewide with code MAGPIE10. Lots of goodies for back to school and home organization!
+If the wedding registry has dwindled down to nothing by the time you go to buy a gift, towels from Boll and Branch or Matouk are always a good pick. These are also my go-to housewarming gifts, and make great Christmas gifts for families/couples. Who doesn’t love fluffy new towels?!
+This tweedy top is SO good. I would style with dark wash denim and Chanel ballet flats, and maybe a big black headband? Ladylike!
+Ophelia and Indigo is running an end-of-summer sale — lots of cute finds, including this adorable blue dress and this charming top.
By: Jen Shoop
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I cannot believe I’m about to purchase fall coats for my kids, but you know how it is — you put it off and then suddenly you’re stuffing them into a coat that’s a size too small and overnighting a new one. (Such is my way especially with snow gear. Last year, I actually was on top of the ball and ordered snow boots, snow bibs, snow mittens well in advance, and was handsomely rewarded by not an inch of snow the entire winter. Ah! I do know that my kids will need fall coats, though.)
Historically, I have loved buying my children Patagonia fleeces and puffers (seen above: their Hi-Loft hoodie). The quality is incredible, and I have handed down each and every one to cousins/children of my friends. There are SO many cute options out this season, though, and I wanted to share all my favorite finds.
I also cannot recommend these inexpensive 3-packs of gloves for children. I buy them each season and don’t fret too much when one mate inevitably goes missing. The colors are fantastic, too!
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Q: Do you have any idea of the style name of the Adidas in the street style photo at the top of this post? They’re fall fabulous.
A: I’m almost positive those are from the Adidas x Wales Bonner collection! You can still find a few styles scattered across the Internet (here and here)!
Q: Going to snag a Parterre dress (hopefully) during their sale [ed. note: currently ongoing!] and have heard size down…but how far down? Their sizes seem to be in a range to begin which makes it feel a bit confusing to know what to get.
A: I own their Charlotte Day Gown (currently 50% off!) in 0 and it runs very roomy. I must have bought it before they introduced the 00 size. Anyway, I would say it fits like a small, and I’m typically an XS or XXS in dresses. I would definitely have taken the 00 if it were available! So – I’d go down at least a full size, possibly two.
A: Twins! I would wear a chunky loafer, ballet flat, or statement sneaker. I haven’t quite found a boot that I like with this style/length. Will report back if I do.
Q: Wide-leg jeans/trousers for fall.
A: I’m loving a wide leg cord like these or these paired with a narrow/slim-fit base layer and a cropped jacket like this, this, or this. On the denim front, love this pair from Joe’s Jeans (found on super sale here!), these from Gap, these Veronica Beards, and have been hearing a lot of commotion for the cuffed jean trend — these Ullas are the chicest pair I’ve seen.
Q: Splurge shoe for fall.
A: This was really hard for me to answer. My first thought was a pair of Chanel ballet flats. They go with everything and you’ll have them for years and years — I love the way they elevate denim and a tee but feel equally at home with a polished shirt dress. At the same time, I am so excited about these Isabel Marant boots I snagged for fall (and can’t stop yapping about!). I feel like they’ll add a contemporary flair to everything — from fall dresses to classic jeans. But I also think these would be fabulous buys: a great riding boot, Khaite’s near-iconic Dallas boots, or a pair of classic Manolo Maysales (especially the latter if you work in a professional environment — I feel like those are SO elegant but polished). I am also drawn to a classic Gucci loafer at the moment.
Q: Fall belt.
A: Ahh yes! I’ve been seeing a lot of belts this season. Haven’t worn a belt in years (unless to cinch a dress at the waist) but I’m actively contemplating a purchase to wear with jeans myself! My dream styles are the ones from Nili Lotan or Refine. J. Crew also just released a great style in leather and calf-hair. They nailed the trend with the buckle shape. Love. Feels perfectly suited to this moment.
A: I feel like you need to have the ankle showing. I would do a pair of cropped jeans like these or these and then a casual, slouchy knit like this, this, this, or this, finished with delicate everyday gold jewelry. I feel like it has to look unfussy, hygge-oriented!
Q: Remind me the brand of the luxe travel knit sets you shared?
A: I keep coming back to Ulla. I adore this and this! I also think this in the artichoke color is a showstopper.
Q: Cute sheets for my daughter’s room.
A: I love the well-priced, fun options from Company Store. Good quality relative to price. We use in my daughter’s bedroom and in the guest bunks upstairs. I also still am in love with Schweitzer Linen’s Lovable set — looks a lot like D. Porthault, but less. Finally, adore the options from Rhode x West Elm, PBT x LoveShackFancy, and PBK x Julia Berolzheimer! My main suggestion is not to worry about making things too matchy-matchy! I love to mix and match prints and colors. Just stay in the same color family and pay attention to the scale of the patterns.
Q: What are some good jackets/cardigans to wear over midi/maxi dresses for cool mornings and evenings, when low is in 50s?
A: For top layer, I love a knit cardi/blazer situation like this, this, or this. (More options here.) All of these have a good transitional look — not too heavy, not too light. I also really like the look of this Wyeth cardigan over a longer dress. If you’re preferring a true jacket, try a field coat! Love this one, a classic Barbour (I prefer this exact style — a bit boxier, more borrow-from-the-boys — it feels more modern than the tailored ones for women IMO), or this fun checked barn coat from J. Crew.
Q: Gift for a six year old girl.
A: I literally just placed an order for a six year old girl — bought her this stationery set and these fun scented gel pens. Also love to gift this age a boxed set of books (more book ideas for early readers here) with their own personalized bookmarks! My daughter LOVES having her bookmarks in all her books. Personalized bookplates would also be a cute addition (you can get 10% off your order with code MAGPIE10).
By: Jen Shoop
A couple of adorable finds for little girls, many of which are perfect for the start of the school year (the nap mat! the snack bento boxes!). In case you’re wondering, the wallpaper behind the collage below is purchasable here. So sweet!
I’m interested in the subject of interrupted ambition because I have often found that I get in my own way — that I cast a long yet immaterial shadow over my own goals — and I am determined that other women avoid the same trap.
I can think of exactly one person who told me “you shouldn’t be doing this,” and even then, it was veiled as sarcasm. Strangely, I took her feedback as motivation. I went home, hurt and bent out of shape, a wounded, nest-bound bird, and told Mr. Magpie about it, and we both agreed that persistence would be my best redress. Her naysaying has in fact become my rallying cry. She was poking fun at me, looking archly at one of our companions, and I now repeat her exact words to myself when I need a good giddy-up. For what it’s worth, I have also spent time making peace with that woman (in my mind), reminding myself that people cope by projecting; that perhaps the work in reference wasn’t my best; that unkind words say more about the commenter than the subject; that I can only put something out in the world, not control its reception; etcetera. Still, I pin that moment of fleeting shame to my lapel, a reminder not to let others cloud my thinking, or deter my own ambition.
In every other instance in which I have hesitated to do something I wanted to do, though, I think I have hamstrung myself. (Obviously, after that “thing” has passed the usual battery of reasonable tests — is it affordable, does it track with my longterm goals, does it seem realistic?) I have agonized over what people have not said, or the way their life decisions do not map to mine, and invent their censure. I have dreamt up my own rules — something I do distressingly often! I can’t do x because someone else is doing it. I can’t write fiction because I’m not a trained fiction writer. Etc.
What I mean to ask (to myself, too): is something or someone really stopping you? Or is it the stuff of fear? Or ego? Or some other brackish sentiment that we’d be better off slicking out of our way?
Let’s forget the phantom hands at our ankles, dissolve the imagined gatekeepers, and put one foot on the pathway.
+Did you get anything from HHH’s fall launch last yesterday? I’m sitting here trying to decide between this pajama “set” (can wear together with velvet heels, or separately with jeans/white blouse, etc!) and this pretty fall dress. (Wear now with ballet flats / mary janes, wear later with tights and booties!). Obsessed with the pattern.
+Once the kids are back to school, I cannot wait to go through all of their clothes and toys to reorganize. Going to pick up a few sets of these and these (such a good deal) for the occasion!
+With fall around the corner, perfect time to zhush your front stoop. We love the cuir doormats from Frontgate. GREAT quality, classic style. Currently on sale!
+A fabulous home decor boutique, Hammett, is running an incredible end of season sale. Great chance to buy housewarming/house guest/holiday gifts, or to treat yourself to something new. This Sabre flatware set is 50% off, and how spectacular are these scalloped linen napkins for a fall tablescape?
By: Jen Shoop
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A girlfriend of mine asked for fall boot options under $500, and I thought I’d share my findings here. My top pick is this pair from Doen. The silhouette/shaft height are similar to but a little less trend-y/Western-inspired than my Isabel Marant Duertos, meaning they’re probably a better investment than my Marants, because they’ll transcend trends. I also love the colors — especially the black suede. Perfect heel height and I want to wear them with lots of moody fall florals! Also super digging these pull-on boots from J. Crew’s New Arrivals (just cropped up this morning!) in the unusual “luxe forest” color — sort of an olive-y green-brown. I love when brands put out colors that aren’t too on the nose, but that go with a fall palette easily — these are just different enough to be interesting but won’t be difficult to match. Also, under $250!
I had saved at least two dozen street style photos of chic women sporting Adidas sneakers (mainly Gazelles and Sambas, a collection seen below) before I finally pulled the trigger, and I now love mine. I find them the quickest way to add a tiny bit of edge, or unbuttoned-ness, to my otherwise polished wardrobe. Fashion queen Courtney Grow recently shared that one of her style secrets is picking the unexpected shoe — basically, running in the opposite direction of whatever shoe you think fits the look. This might mean an embellished, mesh ballet flat (!) with loose-fit, distressed jeans, or a pair of sneakers with a slip skirt (see top right below for inspo). Adidas Gazelles are my portal into the unexpected when I am getting dressed.
My top tips on sizing: note that most of the time, these shoes are marketed as unisex, so pay attention to whether you’re buying in men’s sizing or women’s sizing. In men’s sizing, go down 1.5 sizes from your usual size; in women’s sizing, go down 1/2 size from your usual shoe size. So, if you’re typically 7, take a 6.5 in women’s — I find they run big.
I had been eyeing a pair for a long time, but when Adidas launched their silver green / chalk white combo (seen on me below), I leapt. They are SO cute and I like the more feminine color.
Adidas just launched two fab new colors in their Sambas — scarlet and green — and I especially love their scarlet for fall. These are sure to sell out. My other pick in the Samba is their “wonder clay” color — like my sage green pair, they’re feminine and would be easy to mix with fall neutrals. I found nearly a full run here. If you’re after more of a high-fashion look, check out Wales Bonner’s limited edition collab with the brand — there are still a few styles left in fantastic colorways here and here. I REALLY love the silver ones from that collection, but those are pricey and hard to find. You might have luck here and here.
The next frontier for me is figuring out how to style these sneakers with socks. I’ve been seeing this done with aplomb all over Instagram, but it feels like a pro-level move, and must be approached with intention and thought on proportion. I feel like the easiest in-road is to pair with cropped jeans that show just enough ankle and ribbed socks, as seen bottom left. I’m eyeing these socks or these ones for the look, and imagine pairing with cropped jeans like these (go down a size) or these (take your true size). For a more advanced look, you might try pairing yours with dainty lettuce edge socks below, per the lower right photo.
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I’ve received a noticeable uptick in styling questions the past few weeks — things like, “What shoes would you wear with those pants?” and “What tops would you wear with that skirt?” Today, sharing six sophisticated looks that will suit countless social/professional/personal engagements — everything from shopping dates to back-to-school nights to cocktails with colleagues. I gravitated in these outfit moodboards toward pieces that are easy to remix/rematch.
*This style launches today at 12 PM EST. Every time HHH does a new launch, I promise myself I need nothing, and yet…this particular pattern is SPECTACULAR! It reminds me of some of the spectacular Markarian textiles! I am torn between this dress (versatile, could pair with suede booties, ballet flats, heels, loafers…!) and the “going out set” in this same print, a pair of pants and a button down shirt. What shall I do?
P.P.S. A Magpie shared an inspiring piece of advice in response to my post on reframes: “You can start a new 24-hour cycle at any time.” Wow! What a galvanizing, reassuring concept. This reminded me in turn of another mental shift when it comes to measuring progress: sometimes it’s not helpful to measure in 24-hour increments. Sometimes we should be “pulling up” to evaluate progress every 48 hours, every week, every month!
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Gap is running a conveniently-timed 40% off sale — perfect opportunity to take care of fall wardrobe basics. I’m especially dialed in on their options for little boys! In my cart for my son:
Meanwhile, Shopbop is offering 15% off beauty. Don’t miss…
+One of my favorite beauty discoveries this summer: RMS Beauty’s SuperNatural Radiance SPF. I wrote a full review here but this is like a bridge between your skincare and beauty regimens. Sun protection and primer in one with blurring/brightening capabilities. Incredible! Been using daily the past few weeks.
+LOVE everything from female-founded, clean beauty line Olio E Osso, especially their shave oil and body oil.
+Olaplex bond smoother – use this after the shower and it dramatically reduces drying time / yields a much smoother blowout.
+I keep this Wander Beauty blush/illuminator duo in my purse/pool bag for quick touch-ups. You can use the cheek color as a makeshift lipstick, and the illuminator is one of my favorites! Love the easy stick applicator.
+My ride or die concealer. This is very thick and “a dab will do ya” but the only thing that really conceals dark undereye circles. If you buy, you will probably say: “Jen! This is like stage paint!” But trust me. A tiny bit, blended with a brush, will yield a very natural finish that stays and stays and truly affords coverage.
+Love all Oribe products — so splurgey but luxurious and beautifully-scented and effective. Their signature shampoo is a great everyday upgrade. And I love their “gold lust hair oil.” I use this very specifically to apply to the tips of my hair after blow-drying — it keeps them bending the correct way and affords a level of polish/finish.
In a recent interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, Elizabeth Gilbert spoke about nurturing herself through grief, and she said: “The first thing that trauma needs is a mother, and I don’t mean the one you got. Maybe you were lucky enough that you got that actual mother that had that tremendous capacity to hold you and to tell you that everything was OK, and that you were perfect, and beloved, and that nothing was expected of you, and that you could collapse and she had you, that she could hold you. Maybe you had that Mom, maybe not. But what I need to find when I’m in that trauma is that love from me to me.”
Though I am blessedly not enduring trauma or acute grief, I immediately wrapped my arms around the concept of an internal mother. I asked —
What if I applied the same tenderness I bestow upon my children to myself?
What if I handled myself with the same care and — is it permissible to say — exceptionalism?
After all, aren’t we always raising future versions of ourselves? And shouldn’t we approach that task with the same generosities of heart, the same enveloping and abiding love, that we bring to nurturing our own children?
The message arrived as though a carefully-timed German train: later that night, I would find myself tossing and turning in bed over a string of inconsequential matters that spiraled into 2 a.m. torment. Angst over my preoccupation when my daughter trotted into my office to tell me about the bee sting at the park — I had listened, but only halfway, my fingers positioned over my keyboard. Chagrin at my forgetting to return my mother’s call. Fixation on the details of an upcoming social event. Etcetera. As Fleur Adcock put it in her poem “Things,”
It is 5 a.m. All the worse things come stalking in
and stand icily about the bed looking worse and worse and worse.
My own worries bore a similar bedside manner, supercilious and cold as they circled my midnight mattress. I thought, then, of my internal mother, of what she might say? And I found her warm arms cradling me, shielding me from my prepossessions. I heard her say: “It’s OK. You can begin again tomorrow. You can call your mother in the morning. You can sit down with your daughter and teach her to play the Uno game you just purchased, and make a point of asking about the sting. But, Jennifer, you should also know that you sat across from your girl at the dining room table a few hours ago and listened, rapt, to her story about her friend at the pool, and her knock-knock joke, and her thoughts on tomato sauce, and she saw you laugh and nod. And you should know that you just spent three days away with your mother, and you have plans to see her next week for lunch, and she read the text that you sent earlier in which you said: “I love you and miss you.” And so perhaps you need to be reminded that you are doing a fine job and that everything is OK and that you are enough.”
She became, in other words, a soft landing, the bosom against which I needed to press my cheek.
I don’t know what future version of myself I’m mothering at the moment. (Do we ever?) Is it the woman of fifty who one day looks back and thinks, “I did an OK job making time for my young children when I was in a productive period of my creative life,” or is it the woman of ninety who thinks, “I’m so glad I made a real effort to show my mom how much I loved her while she was here.”
I can’t know who those future selves will be any more than I can divine the adults my children will one day become — I can only surround them as they are now with love and reassurance. I can only tell them to rest easy, to trust that I will not abandon them, to know that they are safe and beloved.
Onward, mothers —
Post-Scripts.
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+I was reminded, while writing this essay, of a comment by a Magpie reader a few years ago on a post in which I shared that my son had burned his hands on the fireplace, and I was lamenting the incident, and she wrote: “Oh, Jen, this is so hard. What comes to mind reading this is that when Hill got hurt you also got hurt. The difference is that you didn’t have someone to scoop you up in their arms and twirl you around in distraction and reassure you that you will feel better and you will get through this. Hold yourself a little while and acknowledge the hurt and pain you felt when he got hurt, knowing that once that balm is applied the pain will lessen and you will heal too. Sending love and a hand to hold.” This is exactly the internal mother energy I am after.
+I know we’re nearing the end of pool season, but this $30 100% cotton cover up is PERFECTION. I love the crinkly gauze material! I have a similar one I wore allll summer long.
+This top and bottom set are in my cart — reminiscent of La Double J for under $100. Fun for a night out. I actually LOVED wearing my Sleeper feather pajamas out last winter for a festive, fun twist on date night / party dressing. You must pair with heels to make it work.
+My friend Jen was just raving about this foundation. I usually use tinted moisturizer (this is my favorite) instead of foundation (and when I do need foundation, have been very happy with Westman Atelier), but am intrigued…
+Thank you to a Magpie for pointing me in the direction of Cuyana’s newest bag style. Love! Do I need in yellow?
+Love the monogram options on these patterned pouches. (Cute gift!)
+Love these towels so much. We use them in our primary bath. The scalloped edge and fluffiness = divine.
By: Jen Shoop
TRAVEL: We spent last weekend at Deep Creek Lake. Landon grew up spending large parts of his summers there, with his two cousins, and we’ve made many, many trips there since we’ve since we’ve been together — ski trips to Wisp with college friends in the winters, jet-skiing and boating in the summers, and now trips to the Garrett County Fair and lake swimming with our children. It’s a rustic, low-fuss, true Lake life destination just 2.5 hours outside of D.C. — the kind you might have idealized in your childhood if you watched “The Great Outdoors” growing up. I find the lack of a “scene” there refreshing. It’s lowkey, no lines, no buzz. I don’t know who patronizes that area but it doesn’t feel like D.C. people. We pack all the food we are going to make in a big cooler ahead of time and spend our time outside, hiking, visiting the fair, sitting on the dock, reading on the deck. I had a couple of questions from Magpies about DCL over Instagram and my top recommendations for visiting: do the mountain coaster!; play mini-golf; buy the pizza rolls at Arrowhead Market; have cocktails at the Honi Honi bar (a locals haunt whose primary virtue is its enormous lakefront greensward; order a G&T and take in the lakeside views while your kids delight in the playground there); pick up pizza from Brenda’s; hike Swallow Falls and especially The Rock Maze Trail (my son loved this!); visit the Garrett County Fair (runs in late July / early August — my children love to take in the livestock, go on the rides, and slurp up the milk shakes); rent jet-skis and/or a pontoon boat. I noticed on this most recent trip a place called Circle R Ranch that offers horseback riding. Think I’m going to take the kids there next visit!
FILM/TV: The only thing we watched this week was — in continuation of our tour of the erotic thrillers of the 80s and 90s — “Indecent Proposal,” which neither of us had seen despite its splashy popularity when it was released in 1993, and which we both thought was terrible. The beginning is atrociously cheesy, and there are Major Problems (capital M and P) with the moral stakes as presented in the movie. Without giving too much away, the film tries to apologize for? soften the edges of? the billionaire (played by Robert Redford) who offers to pay a couple one million dollars for one night with the wife. It presents so many conflicting messages about the nature of these characters and the nature of the offer and its aftermath that the narrative’s ethics flop around like a dying fish, gasping for air. In the companion podcast I’ve been listening to as a guide through this now-extinct sub-genre of films, “You Must Remember This,” film critic Katrina Longworth says: “Are men OK? Several films from 1993 answered that question with a resounding no. One of the highest grossing movies of its year, Adrian Lyne’s “Indecent Proposal” was misunderstood as a gimmick, and its insight into toxic masculinity and male sexual insecurity got lost in a media frenzy.” She goes on to explain that Robert Redford actually had the screenplay rewritten to make his character more desirable/likeable or perhaps just less damnable, which in part explains the film’s moral effeteness.
THE MIDDLE OF THINGS: Pursuant to my essay on Friday about accepting, even celebrating, the unglamorous middle of things, we celebrated our 13-year wedding anniversary with…a broken water heater, which flooded a room of our basement, and two very whiny children who refused to eat the parchment-cooked fish Mr. Magpie had prepared for dinner. Oy! I looked at Landon and thought, “And this is what it is to be married 13 years. Truly in the middle of things, sitting squarely in adulthood. But everything is fine and doable as long as you’re in the middle with me.”
FOOD/DRINK: We made up for our womp-womp 13-year-wedding anniversary later in the week by attending a Billecarte-Salmon champagne tasting. Billecarte-Salmon is the oldest family-run champagne producer in France, and makes some of the most delicious champagne I’ve ever had. I especially loved their Brut Rose (tastes like berries on the tongue), but they are best-known for their Brut Reserve — a classic, easy-to-drink sparkler that tastes like the quintessential champagne. All of their champagnes are on the dry side (which I prefer). They had an interesting Blanc de Blanc that I’ve made a mental note of — it was ultra-light and mineral-like, with the finest mousse (pinpoint bubbles), and it would be spectacular as an aperitif before dinner, with or without a light bite. Can’t recommend any of those three bottles (probably any of their champagnes) enough for a special occasion!
FASHION: The high point of this week was wearing this spectacular Alice + Olivia to the champagne tasting and out to dinner after. I hadn’t thought about this brand in a long time, but I loved the pattern play, the shape, the colors! So sweet. I wore with my Larroude flower slides — basically the only heeled sandal I’ve worn all summer! I didn’t manage to grab a pic, but I also wanted to put in a plug for Summersalt’s Sidestroke swimsuit, which I own in the Baywatch-red lava color, and which is currently on sale. This swimsuit is GREAT if you’re doing anything active in water (jet-ski, jump off dock, have kids hanging on neck) because the asymmetrical strap really holds everything in place and the swimsuit staysput. I also love the back — interesting detail. Really enjoyed this swimsuit.
BEAUTY: I had an abrasion on my face earlier this week, and I applied this Dr. Rogers Healing Balm (clean) I’d received in a PR package and was astounded by how quickly it resolved itself! I applied every night for three days and it was gone. I’ve also been using the Biossance eye cream so many of you raved about for the past two weeks and am hooked. It has a great, light, non-greasy-but-hydrating texture (almost whipped?) that makes it easy to apply and blend in, and I do think it brightens the undereye area more capably than any other product I’ve used. Is it…life-changing? Not for me, so far. But it’s definitely one of the best eye creams I’ve ever used, and it’s $40 less than my other top pick in this category.
WORKING ON: This week, there were a few separate instances in which I thought to do something/check in on someone and then hesitated. For example, a friend had to take her child to the E.R. for croup, and I worried that a check-in call (“how is everyone feeling?”) might be cumbersome or unwelcome. Then, I noticed a neighbor who was out of town had had a package delivered, and thought about texting/emailing but wondered if that was too meddlesome. I also found myself thinking several times of a friend who’d just moved her young family out of the D.C. area, and wanted to ask how things were going, but also knew that moving is a maelstrom, and didn’t want to be another message/to-do to get back to. This general pattern cropped up a few times this week, and each time, I corrected myself: “Just do the thing. They can choose how to receive my message — but I’d rather put the good intent out there.”
Later this week, I read a beautiful musing in In Kind’s email newsletter that asked: “How do you show up in the ways that actually matter?” My week’s examples aren’t on the same order of magnitude as the sort that Hannah and Leah were discussing in their newsletter, but they had this to say:
“How do we get past our own insecurities to be there, really be there in the ways that serve our friends, not ourselves. What’s helpful, truly helpful for the people who need it? It was a question that led me back to good friends, like my college roommate, Courtney Camps, who lost her mom to breast cancer five years ago. I wondered what had been the best ways people cared for her while she was taking care of her mom. “People just checking in was always really helpful—proactively checking in—because I had so much going on being a caretaker for my mom that I didn’t have the capacity to think sometimes or to check in with someone else,” she told me. In that way, it’s not overly complicated. It’s about the initiative to show we care when someone else is so inundated, when someone is so completely consumed—and rightfully so—with the weight of their own experience.”
Thought I’d leave these insights here for you in case you need the nudge to make the call, send the text, drop off the meal, etc.
THINKING AHEAD: I’ve been wanting to invest in a new pair of everyday boots for the past two seasons. I finally ordered these Isabel Marant Duertos and they are literal perfection. I love the shaft height (since I’m petite — 5’0 — knee-high/tall boots can hit my knee at a really weird spot, so I prefer something mid-calf). Will look great with fall dresses, denim maxi/midi skirts, and jeans. I tried them on right out of the box with my striped Doen dress and liked that look, too!
SHOPPING: SO many great finds this week. A shortlist:
+Marea’s end of summer sale! I’ve lived in these airy, breathable dresses (seen below) all summer long. Cannot recommend enough. One of my favorite new brands!
+Loving a head-to-toe white moment (you can see the one I wore this week here), and keep daydreaming about this or this for a travel day. We’re going to Napa in October, and I am daydreaming about wearing an upscale loungewear set like one of those…!
+These 90s fit jeans are on their way to me as we speak, and I think I’m also going to order these Paige pants, which one of my girlfriends messaged me to say: “I bought three pairs of these over the last month. They are so flattering. Size down!”
+I ordered some personalized plates for my children’s first day of school! I love to do something special to mark the occasion, and I know they’ll get excited about these and some new school jammies. More back to school ideas here.
