If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
This week, as did, I presume, every other woman in the Mid-Atlantic, I wore the same old fleet of hot weather dresses I’ve been wearing for the past sixty days straight. You’ve seen them all before: my Julia Amory caftan (seen immediately below), my Mille Saffron, my Juliet Dunn, my Marea shirtdress. Lather, rinse, repeat. Too late in the season for anything new! My mind says fall knitwear and outerwear, but the mercury insists otherwise…
Therefore sharing an abbreviated post this week of just a handful of things…
*I also just noticed that Lake brought back their absolutely divine Relax set in a perfect conifer green hue. Will be purchasing. I own in last season’s birch (tan/taupe) color and it’s the softest most perfect thing to slip into after a long day. J’ADORE.
I have been learning to play golf this summer, and during my first few visits to the range, I would reach the top of my swing and experience a mild sensation of panic. What am I supposed to do now? Am I even going to hit the ball? I feel out of control! Do I stop the club here or keep reaching back? An instructor advised me to slow my swing: “Even professional golfers swing the club at 80% capacity.” To my surprise, once I drew the club back at a more measured pace, the top-of-swing turbulence disappeared, and I was better able to consistently connect with the ball. I felt less like I was forcing the ball into the air and more like I was letting the ball connect with my swing. The movement unfolded more naturally.
A reminder, of course, to begin as you mean to continue, a sentiment that has been on my mind the past few weeks, as I’ve been consistently returning to two quotes:
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” (Annie Dillard)
“How we do anything is how we do everything.” (Unattributed)
So the question is, of course, how do I want to spend my life? (No big deal.) And what are the chief attributes I want to bring to bear in my daily ministrations to the people and things I love (and even those I do not)?
The words that continued to surface were, to my surprise, not nouns — not accomplishments, not pastimes, not values — but adverbs: slowly, gracefully, with intention.
In my creative life, and also — I believe! — in my marriage, I have been focused on finding slowness, grace, and intention for a long time, and feel I am in the presence of good rhythms. There is always room to improve, but I have been aware and underway for a long while now. Every morning, I sit at my desk and shake hands with the empty page, no matter how inspired I feel. I take notes all day long — in notebooks, on my phone, via the collage of post-its that dot every surface of my office. I know how to pause and unpause my writing, how to move slowly through language when it matters, how not to force my own hand, how to find my way “into the pocket.” I know nothing of the quality of my work, but I attend its practice daily, with care and optimism.
I have found similar flow in my marriage. Parents of young children understand that it often feels like you only have the scraps of the day to share — that by the time the children are tended to, you have meager little time to yourself, let alone your relationship with your spouse. But we have found wafer-thin ways to connect throughout the day, making careful use of the offcut: we eat lunch together at the kitchen counter, usually texting mid-morning to confirm when he’ll be off his call and I’ll be done with the bulk of my writing; we huddle around a board game in the morning or during happy hour; we share two pints of ice cream on the couch after the children are in bed; we whisper to one another at night. And we clip into shared pastimes together: that summer we hiked every Monday morning; the month we spent touring the erotic thrillers of the 80s and 90s; our erstwhile obsession with the indoor bike and the way we’d compare notes on the instructors; and now, our fledgling interest in golfing together. All of these trivial engagements are ways of saying I love your company, with the added bonus of slowing time, making it fall slack around the two of us. I think of nearly nothing at all while we are playing Azul or swinging our clubs next to one another. But there is, always, the slow and pleasant thrum of companionship. “You crushed it,” he’ll say, absently, shuffling his driver out of his bag, and “That one sounded good,” I’ll return, without even following the ball with my eyes, and the words mean almost nothing except the impossible wideness of the implied I love you.
I could do better to live out these attributes as a mother, though. I feel I am still clipping through my days with my children at breakneck speed. There is so much to do! Plates to clean, hair to brush, snacks to pack, paper and crayons to fetch, bandaids to smooth over skinned knees. There are piles of shed pajamas on the kitchen floor, and a puddle of milk on the dining room table. But I don’t want to lose their magic to these minutaie. I am especially fixated on improving my marching bedtime manner. For a long time now, I have begrudged bedtime. I know many parents love that time of day, when the children are winding down, and snuggles abound, and the same books our parents read to us are shared with our own babies, in their fresh pajamas and their love-worn coverlets. But I struggle, routinely, to find the joy in it. I am usually tired, and preoccupied with ensuring teeth are brushed and toys are away, and fatigued by the routine delay tactics. There is, however, one tiny and recurring moment of joy amidst the nighttime footslog: after I have said prayers and affirmations, and have read a chapter of a book, and have sung my son his lullaby, and have watched him take a long drink from his water bottle (a crucial step my miniature tyrant insists I not miss — I must have my eyes open and upon him), I tuck him beneath his quilt and tell him the sweet things all mothers say to their sons: the I’ll love you forever and the Nothing you could do would change how much I love you and the You are perfect just like you are. And my four-year-old son, who is, at the moment, a riot of toddler emotions and a ping-ponging boy energy and an incessant bearer of toilet jokes and a loud talker (my husband and I call him “All Caps,” as he ONLY SPEAKS LIKE THIS AT ALL TIMES OF DAY), will lay his head on his pillow and adopt a visage of pure serenity while I lay my love litany at his feet. His face is composed, absorbing. And I feel that deep, abundant surge of maternal pride, and I think how good life is, how pure and simple. For a moment, I think how loving my son is like feeling the sun on my face, and the warm sand underfoot, and the arboreal dampness of a walk through the woods: just as natural and profound.
I think, then, how a life led by love requires so little, and gives so much. How the smallest expression of love can stretch time and sweeten its passage, asking for nothing at all in return.
+A love letter to my husband, which shares both: “I swear he spent half of his twenties waiting for me to get ready, draining Heinekens” and “We were together — I forget the rest.”
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
Shopping Break.
+Somehow, this Doen dress is under $100. So perfect for fall.
+If you’re traveling soon — this set of blockprint packing cubes (monogrammable!) is so cute, and this clever toiletry case (keep all bottles/tubes upright in their own separate compartments!) is discounted in select colors.
+A perfect fall flat. As you know, I love furlanes! I lived in them all last winter.
+Chic cooking utensil set. Ideal if you’re prioritizing aesthetics but don’t cook as much — because we have our favorite brands/styles for all cooking implements! (Some of which you may not have.) A more recent addition to our crock: a spoodle! It’s SO helpful for when you’re cooking pasta, potatoes, veg, etc, and you want to isolate one small piece to test for doneness.
+SO curious about this portable hair tool (Tymo) that a Magpie shared with me recently. Has anyone used? It’s marketed as a travel hair straightener but in some of the videos I watched, women are using more as a way to tidy/neaten up/refresh hair after, for example, a day of travel or a workout.
+This sweatshirt is straight-up cool. Love the washed fabric effect.
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
A few of my favorite transitional coats for the season ahead, starting with this spectacular reversible (!) quilted puffer from Veronica Beard. I saw it and swooned. I love everything about it, from the bracelet sleeves to the puffed shoulders to the whipstitch trim to the colors! I am telling you — you will not regret a statement jacket. I know it goes against reason (e.g., shouldn’t I buy something that goes with everything?!), but I find I get the most bang for my buck out of a coat I love and am excited to wear. It acts like the anchor for my wardrobe. And think about it — your coat is the single-most-seen article of clothing that you wear in the winter. I always get compliments on a bold color or funky shape! So I was thrilled not only by the unusual proportions but bold red color of the interior.
You can see my styling it below with both sides, paired with this mixed media sweater (the shirting part is built in!), which is somehow on sale from $448 to $134, plus extra 15% off with code BYESUMMER (!!!), and my new SLVRLAKE Grace jeans. The bag is Paris64.
If the sleeves are too much for you but you like the vibe, try their Fenton option. It’s more tailored and I love the navy trim against the olive.
My top rec for an affordable jacket in this vein is Everlane’s quilted liner. I own a past-season version of this coat (I think I got it around 2019) in a golden-brown hue and wear it EVERY YEAR. It has a perfect weight and I like the length — long enough to cover the rear, but still casual. My mom owns it in the longer length and wears it a lot in the winter — it’s very chic, too.
Not seen above but two other options under $200 worth considering: 1) this Bernardo, which is sort of a Swiss Army Knife of coats. It’s water-resistant, has a hood, can be layered over a sweater or worn over a tee. I feel like it’d get you through MOST weather situations between the months of September and December, or whenever it gets really cold where you are. And 2) This Athleta, which seems to me like the perfect sporty top layer if you’re more of an athleisure girl / get in a lot of fitness classes. I love the curved hem in the rear — so interesting and architectural.
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
Q: Maybe you’ve addressed this and I missed it, but I’m wondering if you have any ideas for school-related events (for mom!). I’m thinking of back to school nights, etc, where I wouldn’t want to wear jeans, and it’s a Catholic school, so modest and demure.
A: A dress like this, this, or this is perfect with a ballet flat or bootie, or a utility pant like this with a button-down or striped knit. I also think you can get away with jeans — something like this cropped jacket with these dark wash jeans would be perfectly polished!
Q: Chairs for kitchen table. Have young children!
A: As we’ve thoroughly destroyed our upholstered set from Restoration Hardware, let me firmly advise you to avoid upholstery and buy these chic but wipeable chairs in a fun color like blue or green — currently on sale, too!
Q: Brown boot for dresses. Medium/short heel, shorter shaft. Budget $250-$600.
A: Love this – lots of great options here! I’d recommend these or these!
Q: School gala in early Nov – Midatlantic. Cocktail attire. $500, legs are my worst feature.
A: I’m wearing this dress to a Labor Day weekend in Maine! Love this one, too. Drooling over this or this for a less formal affair, and this would be chic!
Q: Layette for a baby girl arriving this Christmas. We live in Atlanta so not too warm.
A: Congratulations! For everyday, I loved the footies from Kissy Kissy, Livly, Roller Rabbit, Kyte, Pixie Lily, and Gap. Most days, my babies wore those soft cotton one-pieces! For separates, I loved the onesies from 1212 (truly so soft and high quality, and the kimono style is fantastic for itty bitties) and the collared onesies from Kissy Kissy. Gap’s lap neck styles are easy to pull on over baby’s head, too. Cute leggings can be found all over — H&M, Gap, Zara! I also loved picking out special occasion pieces to show my babies off in, like this, this, this, this, or this!
Q: Kilim mules.
A: You must check out Artemis! Especially love these and these, but filter by your size — all are one-of-a-kind! Look for less with these.
Q: Isabel Marant new suede boots styled for husband’s college reunion — East coast football game.
A: We are shoe twins! I love the idea of tucking a straight-leg ecru (or denim wash!) jean (also love these) into them and pairing with a chunky striped sweater like this or this and then a great little crossbody like this. Easy, not trying-too-hard, appropriate for the venue/affair, but still crazy chic.
Q: Fall fragrance for house.
A: I love Feu De Bois or Cire Trudon’s Carmelite! Hotel Lobby’s Paris scent also feels sexy and warm in a fall way. Finally, Linnea has some great seasonal scents perfect for fall. I know many of you love their Cashmere scent, and I’m drawn to the Wood House or Bourbon Tabac! They also sell their scents in diffusers if that’s your style.
By: Jen Shoop
This post is sponsored by Talbots.
This textured cardigan from Talbots is going to be a wardrobe MVP this fall — the perfect weight, an ideal fit (narrow, but not too snug to layer over other knits), and highly versatile. I styled it in a monochromatic look here, but just as easily anticipate wearing with jeans and a tee for an easy everyday look. The gold buttons are so chic and afford a vintage feel — honestly, I had a difficult time selecting a color, as it also comes in a chic moss green and classic navy. (Sizing note: I took a petite petite and the dimensions are perfect; I’m typically an XS.) I shared a sneak peek of this cardigan before it was available at Talbots in a few Instagram stories and received over a dozen direct messages asking about its provenance, so I have a sense that many of you intend to make this a part of your autumn uniform, too. I’d also like to spotlight their Francisca suede driving loafers, seen below paired with this outfit — this is my second pair of these shoes (I also own in navy). They are comfortable right out of the box! I typically like to pair them with fall maxis or corduroy/denim midis, but I find them ultra-chic with a cropped pant, as the pointed toe elongates the leg.
I also styled the textured cardigan with their perfect black turtleneck, incredibly flattering Montauk pants, and suede bow pumps. The turtleneck is aptly named — it is the perfect weight and silhouette. I want it in multiple colors. This look would be ideal for an effortlessly pulled-together work look.
About a year ago, I had an old friend over for dinner, and we parted ways pledging to read the then-new Sally Rooney novel so that we could discuss it at our next rendezvous. A few weeks later, he wrote me a beautiful email in which he shared that he’d read some of my blog posts and had been consumed by my essay on the death of my friend Elizabeth. He said that my writing about her passing had bled into his reading of Rooney. Or, I posit, vice versa, as this is the alchemy of good novels: we find their shapes mysteriously reflected in our own lives. We fall in love with the brooding neighbor, because isn’t he Mr. Darcy? We find a soft spot for the neighbor, who suddenly favors Tova Sullivan. We wonder about the special places of our youths, because aren’t they Dutch Houses, too?
But my friend chiseled a finer point. He said that he’d been sitting at anticipatory Mass just after finishing a section of the Rooney book in which Eileen talks about “belonging” to womanhood, and then reading my piece on Elizabeth, in which I wrote: “She was not so worried about surviving; she was more worried about surviving and not having a child.” The Gospel that day, he told me, concluded with “Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” My friend wrote at some length about the symmetry between these excerpts, straining to make out the trail between the breadcrumbs. He is, as you can probably tell, an exceptional reader. I could sense the galloping hermeneutics at work as I sat quietly at my small white desk, chasing after his thoughts on the screen, and then he concluded with:
“Then I realized the name of the church where I attended Mass: Saint Elizabeth’s in Rockville, MD. I’m still not entirely sure what to make of these fortuitous messages and my discovery of them in a 24-hour period. But I think the most appropriate way to interpret them is to say that fictional Eileen, the late Elizabeth, and Jen Shoop all “belong to the truth.””
To “belong to the truth” — what does this mean? I suspect some undeserved compliment was afoot but even if we set aside its legitimacy, there was something about the drawing together of Elizabeth, and anticipatory Mass, and Rooney, and my routine writings in search of clarity about all of these things — about the wild phenomena of living and loving — that took the wind out of me. For some reason, I read his words and remembered what my father said about the time my mother visited Mary’s house in Ephesus: she knelt down and cried. Do you ever feel that you are experiencing a moment that is drawing you impossibly close to the divine? That you are witnessing something beyond reason, beyond meaning? And that the only suitable response is to laugh, or cry, or otherwise lie recumbent to the moment?
I do not believe in spirits, or mediums, or ghosts, but my Catholic understanding of the way the dead live on sits just-adjacent. I have felt Elizabeth in my life — and I mean really felt her presence, a thing corporeal — countless times since her death. She blooms in the roses on the side of our house, and I hear her voice on the cobblestones of Georgetown. And there she was, on my screen, after calling out to an old friend of mine she might have only met once or twice when she was alive and shiny with the promise of youth.
I lack the spiritual, or exegetical, sophistication to investigate my involvement in my friend’s triptych in any meaningful way. And so I will simply write that I am grateful for these visitations. And I think the Biblical Elizabeth* — the one who heard Mary’s greeting at the door of her house and responded “with a loud cry” — would understand. Sometimes we hear our names, and the only thing we can do is call out with joy.
Post-Scripts.
+Another musing on remembering those we’ve lost: “”Do I go looking for signs of the dead, or do they find me?”
*”In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a city of Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and she exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!”‘ (Lk 1:39-42).
**It is not lost on me that I attended Georgetown Visitation high school, founded by the order of the Visitation nuns, with my dear friend Elizabeth.
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
Shopping Break.
+More Gap greatness: love this puffer vest (get in the tan or deep green!), this denim midi skirt, and this Celine-esque textured cardigan!
+Reformation is running an epic end of season sale and…summer’s not over YET! This striped beauty is in my cart for 50% off! Not on sale, but this dress is spectacularly chic.
+Fall is my favorite time to sort out my desk, buy new office supplies, etc. I think we all need some new scissors, drawer organizers, and a chic task lamp.
+The textured cardigan I wore in this post is now available! I’ve had a number of questions about quality and fit. This is NOT a cotton sweater but I think the quality is quite good — it feels soft on, and looks beautiful. Honestly, I had not noticed the fabric content prior to the questions, and think it’s very similar in look and handfeel to the Gaspard cardigan. Re: fit. I took a petite petite and think it runs more snug / narrow than most Talbots items do, which I LIKE in the cardigan. It has a kind of shrunken fit. It does hit me at mid-thigh in the petite, though, so I would take that into consideration (e.g., definitely go with petite sizing if you’re on the shorter side so it’s not overlong).
+Random, but just ordered myself this rechargeable magnifying mirror for some upcoming travel. I have been at too many hotels where the lighting / mirror set-ups are sub-optimal. Especially NYC!
+This is my second-favorite scent in the world. (First is Byredo’s Mojave Ghost.) But I LOVE it as a body wash — a great, clean base scent. SO GOOD.
+Somehow missed this $35 puffer in my roundup of kid’s coats! LOVE the fall floral!
By: Jen Shoop
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
I mentioned over the weekend that I was taking my daughter to the mall to select some fall items for her wardrobe, and was shocked by how many mothers asked what she’d picked and how the adventure went, or had suggestions on this general topic! I think many of you related to my Instastories about “letting go” of getting my daughter dressed. It was such a joy and delight for me to doll my girl up for the first five years of her life. I loved the scalloped collars, the sashed dresses, the feminine patterns, the tiny knits, the oversized bows! I am so glad I indulged in dressing her to my heart’s content while she was young because now she has developed her own style and I’ve had to learn to let go of my preferences so that she can be her, and so that she knows that I value and respect who she is. I’ve taken a long and hard look at myself as a mother and realized that this — clothing! — is not the field I want to die on. Who knows — perhaps I over-indexed on the big bows and pink dresses and all of this is backlash; perhaps I’ve made my own bed! But we can only move forward from here.
Earlier this spring, we started butting heads over outfits — usually what I wanted her to wear to Church on Sundays — and it came to a head when I brought down a beautiful Doen dress I’d purchased her and she dug in her heels. After that contretemps, I decided I needed to give her more latitude to express herself in the way she dressed. Initially, I would bring down 2-3 options for her to pick from each morning. Over the summer, though, I further relaxed the regimen and told her to wear what she felt like wearing unless there were specific requirements for the day (e.g., at our country club, she must wear a collared shirt / no ripped jeans in certain areas; for birthday parties, a dress, etc.) I also stopped buying her as many dresses (the only ones she loves wearing are these ones from TBBC, which are adorable and I totally approve of! I think she owns six or seven patterns. She wears with these little shorts beneath). Instead, I’d pick up fun graphic tees (I love the European ones Danrie curates, like this — and you can get an extra 20% off sale with code MAGPIE20 — and some of the Crewcuts ones are adorable, too) to pair with jean shorts. She loved a paperbag waist pair of denim shorts I bought her from H&M (seem to be sold out, similar here), and the overall look was so her. But if she had her druthers, she’d wear athletic shorts (these and these are her favorites and the fit/colors are actually really cute — a short length!) and these performance tees every day of the week — she wore this combo A LOT this summer. As far as athletic wear goes, pretty cute. I like the colors and silhouette!
Anyway, even though I was changing what I was buying for her, and often seeking her input when ordering, I still found that a ton of the cute shorts and tops I bought her would languish in her drawers. I decided that this fall, I needed to engage her more thoroughly in the process, and I took her with me to Montgomery Mall — where my mother used to take me! My plan was clear: make two stops, one at J. Crew and one at Gap, and hopefully pick up a few items to base her wardrobe around, buy her candy at It’s Sugar, and leave within an hour. I had a sense that any longer (and any more dressing rooms) would test her patience and interest, and the sugar pit stop would be enough of a draw to keep her motivated. I was, frankly, delighted by how well the excursion went. It was really fun to see what she gravitated towards, and I was a little shocked by some of the cute items she picked.
From J. Crew, we bought (these were all entirely her picks! I kept urging her to consider sweaters but she declined) —
*This was the only item I hesitated to buy — she had looked so cute in the fitting room wearing the jeans with this cropped sweatshirt, but she kept begging me for a hoodie, and I think a few of her little classmates have ones from the Gap, too, so I said yes. She got home and immediately put it on, so I guess that was what her little heart desired.
I organized these picks in three rows/categories. The first row is for everyday wear — the kinds of jeans you can pull on with a tee or cardigan and feel great in. I own all of these except for the SLVRLAKE’s, which are next on my shopping list.
01. AGOLDE RILEY CROPS — I mentioned these in my most recent Magpie Edit post, but these have become my absolute favorite pull-on-and-go jeans. They are rigid (no stretch) but flattering and I feel like the silhouette is the perfect blend of classic and contemporary. I bought a size up from my usual size and they run a tad big but I like them a touch baggy. If you want a more fitted look, I would take your true size, as I do think I’d have fit just fine into my true size. Also – God bless a cropped length. I’m 5’0 and did not need to have these tailored, but they do wear (for me) more like full-length/touches ankle. These are the perfect length for pairing with cool sneaks. I also discovered I could tuck them into my new suede boots for fall for a cool, slightly slouchy, very Isabel Marant look.
02. SLVRLAKE LONDON JEANS — Next on my shopping list — obsessed with the long, straight leg, and this wash in particular.
03. CITIZENS CHARLOTTE JEANS — Cult-following status among Magpies; SO many readers insist these are THE BEST JEANS for everyday. I’ll never forget a Magpie in her 50s saying she is constantly stopped and asked where she got them! A classic, timeless look — not skinny, not loose, a bit more form-fitting than straight. I love, too, but am in between sizes in this style and the smaller is uncomfortable to wear on a daily basis and the larger is a bit gappy in the waist. I still wear the larger ones fairly frequently, though — I personally think Citizens does the BEST denim washes for everyday, and I like the washes I have a lot. I really love the overall silhouette. I own in the cropped length and they are ideal for my petite height (no tailoring needed). I would suggest taking your true size and seeing how they work!
04. MADEWELL PERFECT VINTAGE JEANS — A perfect jean at a great price. Go down one full size in these. They are SO comfortable with wear, almost second-skin!, and I love the wear-with-everything daytime wash.
The second row above are colored/novelty jeans for more of a statement daytime look.
05. SLVRLAKE GRACE FLARES — I don’t think I’ve been so excited about new jeans in awhile! I’ve been eyeing this cool brand forever and finally took the plunge. If there’s one new denim brand to try this season, it’s SLVRLAKE. They’re having such a moment and seem to be putting out the coolest/most on-trend silhoeuttes. I was drawn to this white pair as a perfect transition-to-fall style because of the brown contrast stitching. I also liked that the ends are unfinished so I can cut myself without taking to the tailor for a perfect fit. Imagine these with a fab fall blouse like this, or with a white tee and my new statement jacket from Veronica Beard. SO good.
06. CITIZENS GAUCHO JEANS — Have mentioned these a bunch for fall, but the color and silhouette are SO cool. Also comes in a nice mid wash. Go down a full size! I find these a more approachable/reasonable way to get the “horseshoe jean” trend. The silhouette is a bit slimmer and less dramatic, but still earns cool points.
07. PAIGE ANESSA COATED JEANS — I ordered these to try. I loved the silhouette (wide-leg crops are my go-tos…I find them easier to style with a wider variety of footwear than a full-length, where you really need to figure out boot, heel height, etc) and the almond color was so interesting. I thought they’d look great with a fitted turtleneck or statement sweater like this.
The third row has denim that I feel are a bit dressier — the types of jeans I’d wear out in the evening, with heels and a blouse or blazer.
09. AGOLDE CROPPED FLARES — Cropped flares were my favorite silhouette last winter. They felt so fresh with a chunky loafer or ballet flat, and I liked the lean silhouette. This pair looks divine.
10. NILI LOTAN FLORENCE JEANS — For legs a million miles long. This is such a polished look right now, especially with a cardigan like this or this.
11. JOE’S JEANS MIA FLARES — I love the narrow fit through the hip and leg! Dream of pairing with a chunky knit for a fall event — a wine tasting, a drink on the adirondacks, etc.
P.P.S. If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
By: Jen Shoop
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
I finished and them promptly re-ordered these three beauty products:
1 // Westman Atelier Vital Skin Fusion Foundation Stick — Currently (at time of writing this) 15% off at Nordstrom! This is the best foundation I’ve ever used. I’m now on my fourth stick. I do not wear foundation daily, but if I am going out, want to look especially pulled together, or have a breakout situation, this is the only thing I will use. It glides on and blends so beautifully, and yet looks totally natural. The key is having deeply hydrated skin in advance. It does not work as well if skin is dry. I use an Artis Oval 6 brush to blend — they are like a match made in heaven!
2 // Farmacy Green Clean Makeup Meltaway Cleansing Balm — A Magpie raved about this product, and I bought a travel size to test the waters. I LOVED IT. I immediately ordered a full size. For some reason, this is easier for me to use daily than the Elemis balm, which I also love, but which has a greasier/more unctuous feel to it? It always feels a bit like a process to put it on and remove, and sometimes I’m in the mood for that (it really makes me feel luxurious) but sometimes I’m not. Farmacy has a drier consistency and you apply to dry skin and it really removes every last speck of makeup and grime on your face. Sometimes I will follow with a cleanser but sometimes I don’t! This would be a great travel buy — no leaking bottles!
3 // Follain Ultra Hydrating Mask — This one snuck up on me. I received it in a PR package and thought it was nice but unremarkable and then as time went on, any time my skin felt dry, I’d fish it out of my drawer. Then, slowly, it became a nightly ritual during the wintertime — it’s so light you can sleep in it. It has a great consistency and it immediately soothes my skin when I have that tight/itchy/dry feeling. I just reached for it this week (I think all of the new serums are making my skin a touch dry) and noticed I had only the tiniest bit left and reordered! It’s a great price relative to how big the tub is and how effective it is at quenching/hydrating/softening skin!
Other recent beauty finds/buys/discoveries:
+Am loving (!) this Goop peptide serum. Have noticed a huge difference in the texture of my skin and also in discolorations. Cannot rec enough if those are issues that you’re battling. I will say (per last note on Follain) that I think it might be a tad drying? At least I believe that’s been the only major recent change to my skincare routine and have noticed my skin is drier. Just a word of warning.
+Another Goop obsession (can’t stop!): their G. Tox scalp scrub. Wow! I would say it’s neck and neck with the Christophe Robin formula I raved about last month, and you can’t go wrong with either, but these have been total gamechangers for my end-of-summer hair! I’ve needed to scrub all the sweat/salt/sand/SPF/chlorine out of my hair, and one thing I specifically notice with the Goop stuff is that my hair looks cleaner longer between washings!
+En route to me / currently testing three new blow out products: Lolavie’s glossing detangler and leave-in-spray (will use together) and Oribe’s royal blowout. I truly hate blow-drying my hair but it’s the only way I feel truly finished/polished. I’m after any product that makes the blow-out easier, last longer, look better, etc., and all three of these products were heavily upvoted by Magpies I polled over Instagram. When I solicited those recs, Mary also chimed in to encourage me to try Roz shampoo and conditioner. She said it changed her hair! Has anyone tried? I’m going to try when I’m next up for a restock.
+The foot peel so many of you have bought and that has something of a cult following online!
+Using a few new RMS Beauty products and absolutely loving their eyelights cream shadows. I love any eye product that can be applied with a fingertip, and this is fun (shimmery) without being wildly metallic. I also am GAGA over their powder blush in the crystal slipper color. WOW. I’ve been using blush sticks all summer but this is an incredible color. It’s a bronzy pink. SO pretty on. Spectacular! Now I kind of want to try their foundation. I do not need it (see above note about my obsession with Westman’s formula) but…have just been so wildly impressed with all their products lately, and it’s less pricey.
+Just my squeaky wheel reminder that this $8 eyeliner is the best money can buy. It’s one of the only items I have on Amazon Subscribe and Save — I wear it nearly daily to define my top eyelash line. It’s SO GOOD and so easy to apply. Just like the Stila formula but a fraction of the price.
P.P.P.S. “No matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.” Thoughts on this beautiful quote from Hanya Yanagihara here.
By: Jen Shoop
Ed. note: This morning, I am republishing an edited version of this musing which I initially published in July 2019 as a reminder of the rich gifts of reading — the way books can serve as both fire escape and safe harbor.
I spent a lot of time with T.S. Eliot’s “The Wasteland” both in my undergraduate and graduate days. It is a poem about the dissolution of culture in the aftermath of the first world war, when jingoistic illusions about the “Old World Order” gave way to sober outlooks on the world. The form of the poem, like most modernist texts, reflects this existential uncertainty in its shapelessness. We find jarringly trimmed lines amidst sprawling stanzas: the silhouettes of resistance, shapes that defy containment and order.
There are many interpretations of the final stanzas of “The Wasteland,” and most of them require an encyclopedic understanding of Western and non-Western literary traditions, so far-flung are its allusions. Some read its final, highly intertextual stanza as a fatalistic descent into chaos: literary traditions jangling discordantly against one another, voices angling impotently at meaning:
I sat upon the shore Fishing, with the arid plain behind me Shall I at least set my lands in order? London Bridge is falling down falling down falling down Poi s’ascose nel foco che gli affina Quando fiam uti chelidon—O swallow swallow Le Prince d’Aquitaine à la tour abolie These fragments I have shored against my ruins Why then Ile fit you. Hieronymo’s mad againe. Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata. Shantih shantih shantih
Amidst this pastiche, we find a jewel of optimism:
These fragments I have shored against my ruins.
This is a line of startling promise. It is, both in what it says and how it says it, delivered crisply after a whiplash of allusions, a literary life-raft.
When I read that line, I see a serviceman shouldering his weight against a crumbling edifice. He is shoveling sand and grit and detritus against imminent collapse. Only the flotsam and jetsam he uses are pieces of poetry, excerpts from books, bits of cultural phenomena gathered across the expanse of dozens of canons.
There are many reasons to read, but one of them is to make meaning out of the emotional overload of living. Here, T.S. Eliot is showing us that the discursive fragments he has collected over his life can be used to “shore up” against the ruinousness of life.
I think of this verse often when I encounter a line that reframes things for me, as this one did when I realized I had forgotten to be grateful for the normalcies of daily life amidst the footslog of caring for two small children. It made me pause and think about the other fragments I have shored against my own collapse, and wondered — what might yours be?What are the excerpts, quotes, lines, lyrics that steer you through life? (Please share in the comments!)
A few I carry with me:
“Time will do the talking Years will do the walking I’ll just find a comfy spot and wait it out.”
“It’s like a schoolhouse of little words, thousands of words. First you figure out what each one means by itself, the jingle, the periwinkle, the scallop full of moonlight.
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.“
-Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese” (more on this poem here)
*****
“Sometimes a little tenderness Was the best that I could do“
-John Prine, “I Remember Everything” (more on this song here)
Shopping Break.
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
+If you loved the toddler New Balances I bought for my son but not the price tag – you are in luck. Found a trove of the 574 velcros on sale for $30 here!
+I keep coming back to this Doen dress. She’s perfect. Imagine beneath a chunky cardigan, or paired with suede boots…or worn now with leather sandals…
+LOVE the material these sweatshirts are made out of — like a brushed, silky, plush material! 10% off with code SHOOPXSPANX. Pair with your favorite leggings and these Birks for bleary-eyed morning drop offs this fall.
+Kind of obsessed with this knit set in the stripe?! Like for casual lounge? Would probably wear bottoms with a plain white tee and the sweatshirt around my shoulders to break it up.
+Tory Burch is running a sale, and you have to check out this reversible fleece coat. Great buy and will be ideal for fall.
+Just bought two new Yeti water bottles — the lilac and the chartreuse, limited edition colors! — for my kids for back to school. Over the years, these have held up the best and they keep water cold. My kids always ask for these before any of the other brands we have. The only caveat is that they are heavy for little, little ones. To personalize those bottles so they aren’t accidentally grabbed by another kiddo, you can order these monogram decals on Amazon, a single initial from these Joy Creative Shop stickers, or these personalized name stickers.
+Cutest heels to pair with early fall dresses. You know I adore a whipstitch detail! (Ahem!!! This arrived and will be wearing this all fall. Cannot waitttt.)
+A very strange maternal impulse, but I routinely clean out my children’s sock drawers and replace with fresh white socks. It’s the smallest detail but they somehow stain/ruin/snag their socks with wild abandon and I think it’s the least expensive way to make them look polished! Anyhow, just refilled their sock drawers for the school year with these and these for my son and these (uniform) and these (not uniform) for my daughter.
+In photo at top, you can see my favorite charger (can charge multiple items at once), my favorite pens, and my favorite notebooks (15% off with code MAGPIEBYJENSHOOP).
By: Jen Shoop
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
In Motherhood…
Soaking up my son’s sweetness this week. He still reaches for my hand when we go on “nature hikes” (his term, not mine!), and doesn’t he look like a little cherub here? With the fine baby hair and round cheeks? The John Lennon glasses don’t hurt. I continue to struggle with expecting too little of him and too much of my daughter, and am constantly pulling up and recalibrating. This week, I tried to find ways to give them both more autonomy — not just Emory! We ordered small pitchers to hold milk (started with one, but then it caused too many early morning fights) and placed them on the first shelf of the fridge, and then decanted cereal in these containers and put those on a low shelf of the pantry so they could go downstairs in the mornings and prepare themselves breakfast. I also cut/wash fruit and place in little containers for them in the fridge. It’s interesting what a change this small adaptation has made in our mornings. Our children no longer hum around our bedroom door asking for breakfast, and we find that they are much more likely to trot off and play independently. I also scheduled a mommy-daughter date for the end of this week — going to take her to the mall to pick out some fall clothes! I’ve found that if I don’t involve her in the clothing selection process, beautiful articles of clothes languish in her closet, never-to-be-worn. Sigh. I figure taking her to a handful of stores whose clothes I like (going to try Gap, Zara, and J. Crew) will be a good way to engage her with guardrails up.
A couple of my favorite recent buys for the children — mostly related to school! —
02. PIP POP POST EARRINGS — My daughter’s been asking for her ears to be pierced for a year now. We’re planning to take her as a surprise before the first day of school. I am going to let her pick a pair from this cute brand, Pip Pop Post, after she has them done!
03. YETI RAMBLERS — My children’s favorite water bottles. Decided to buy them a second one apiece for the school year. They are virtually indestructible, do not leak, and keep water very cold. I loved their limited edition colors!
04. WEEKLY NOTEPAD — Going to use this solely for my children’s planning / activities / play dates / meal plan / etc
05. VINYL LETTER STICKERS — Another tool in my arsenal for marking/tagging my children’s belongings.
06. BAG TAG — Had to replace her old one, which was all bent, scratched, and beat up! Love the colors of this.
08. SOCKS — Just bought a ton of new sets. Like to have them looking fresh for the school year.
09. B. BOX SNACK BOXES — Ordered a few of these for snacktime. We’ve used Yumbox’s snack size in the past but I find them annoying to wash/dry, and they are pricey! These are almost half the price. They’re a really petite size — great for snacks for young kids — and I really like having these kinds of tupperware on hand because they dramatically reduce the amount of single-use plastic/wrappers we throw out. SO easy to decant a bigger bag of goldfish / cut fruit into these. Great colors, too.
10. NEW BALANCE 574 VELCRO SNEAKS — I mentioned these a few weeks ago but these will be my son’s everyday preschool kicks! He’s supposed to wear sneakers with his uniform as a pre-K-er!
In My Fashion Life…
I have to brag about this incredible $59 purse find. It is such a cool greige color and looks much more expensive than $59. It is not leather but has a pebbled/textured exterior that makes it look like it could be, and the hardware is a good quality (I often find the hardware is a dead giveaway for price). I have grown to love this size/shape of bag for things like coffee runs, school drop-off, quick solo errands, etc — times when I only need my phone, card case, and key. Anyhow, I love this little bag and think you will, too. I’m also smitten with this unbelievable fall buy from Talbots — a $119 textured cardi. As of time of publishing this, it is 25% off.
Below are the makings of a great fall fashion uniform — the kinds of pieces I throw together when I have nothing major on the calendar, just the usual drop-off, errand or two, time at my desk, etc. Comfortable but pulled together. The exact nubby white cardigan I’m wearing below is from Talbots (!) and a great price — $119. I gasped when I saw it! It comes in a few other colors, too. It’s a great way to get the BA&SH look for less, and the length is maybe even better? The jeans I’m wearing below are Agolde’s Riley Crops. They’ve become my absolute favorite everyday jeans. Contemporary shape but not too trendy. I was skeptical at first because of the button fly (I hate a button fly) but these feel great on and are worth the extra few seconds when using the facilities. I went a size up from my true size and they’re a touch big but I don’t hate the slight bagginess? They feel lived-in. (They’re also zero-stretch so would rather err on the side of comfort.) The last note I want to offer: I cannot WAIT For these SLVRLAKE jeans to arrive. I’ve been eyeing this brand for several seasons and specifically was drawn to the brown stitching on these white jeans as a great way to transition white jeans into fall. (I also like that they have a raw hem as I will almost assuredly need to cut them myself — I’m short! 5’0.) The other pair of SLVRLAKEs I’ve been wanting to buy for a long time are their London jeans. I LOVE the way they fit on the model but find the sizing baffling — have read in some places they run TTS but the model is wearing two sizes up from her reported waist size? So I figure I’ll give the Grace ones a try and see what I think. Any intel?
Absolutely loving Ann Patchett’s Tom Lake. I’m actually toggling between listening (it’s narrated perfectly by Meryl Streep) on Audible and reading on my Kindle. I’d never done this before but it’s kind of incredible how well it works — Kindle/Audible will jump to where you left off on the other device, and it’s seamless and so easy. Will write a full review but am savoring every moment.
On film, we watched part of a kitschy Japanese movie from the 80s called “Tampopo” (currently halfway through), which is ostensibly about a widowed woman who is trying to figure out how to successfully run a ramen restaurant with the help of two truck drivers she happens to encounter. It’s an interesting blend of genres, and there’s a strong element of classic American Western cinema involved, with scenes that recreate classic saloon moments, hijinks set to ragtime piano, etc. It seems to be interested thematically in cultural overlap, “crossing,” adaptations, etc., as there are many scenes in which Japanese are learning to adopt American customs — usually to comedic effect. It’s strange and smart, and I have a sense I’ll be unpacking it for weeks.
In My Food Life…
Lots of fabulous eats this week, and we’ve especially been enjoying the fruits of Landon’s garden (and his related labors). Nearly all the grilled veg seen below came from his garden, herbs included! He dressed them in a garlic vinaigrette — divine.
In Extracurriculars…
We hosted a neighborhood happy hour last Friday and kept everything very simple. Light snacks, aperol spritz station, and beer/wine. For snacks, I have to say that one of my favorite lowkey elegant things to serve: mini toasts with a hunk of Manchego and membrillo (quince paste) on top. You can buy all the ingredients at Whole Foods. It’s the perfect salty-sweet one-bite app. Two other random tips: 1) buy these plastic reusable cups for events like this. We then run through the dishwasher and reuse next time. So much less waste! Plus, they’re plastic (unbreakable) so appropriate for outdoors / lots of kids and they’re not so precious that you’ll mind if one goes missing. 2) I had several guests ask where I’d bought the olives I served, and they were just from Whole Foods BUT I’d drizzled with really fancy olive oil and left out at room temp for awhile. It makes a world of difference!
How was your week?
P.S. I also served this addictive snack at the happy hour! If I’d had more time, I would have made this great party dish, but we were really short on free time last week since we’d traveled the week before.
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!
My Latest Snag: New Blow Dry Gear.
I’ve been using the same blow dry products all summer and I’ve started to notice that I can’t get quite the same results. I’ve tried various things — waiting longer between washings, switching up shampoos, not blow drying my hair for a few weeks (ugh, the worst — had to wear my hair back in a bun for what felt like ages) — and finally I thought, “Maybe the products just aren’t working for me anymore?” I’d heard (and perhaps this is just a conspiracy to sell more beauty products) that sometimes your skincare/haircare regimen stops working as well as it once did because your skin/hair have adjusted to the products. I polled my Magpies for product recs for achieving a great at-home blow out and the top two upvotes were Oribe’s Royal Blowout Spray and two Lolavie products used together: their glossing detangler and their perfecting leave-in spray. Lolavie is Jennifer Aniston’s brand, and I’m sure that many of you share my obsession with her perfect mane (for years — YEARS! — I have taken photos of her with a long bob in to my stylist for inspiration), so I am eager to try. I ordered travel sizes of both the Oribe and the Lolavie so I can test before committing to full sizes. (Lolavie has an entire travel set that includes not only the detangler and spray but a shampoo and conditioner!). Will report back with thoughts.
The only other variable I’m contemplating is a hot tool upgrade. I’ve been using and loving Revlon’s One Step (make sure you get the “Plus / 2.0” version — I upgraded to it and find it much lighter weight; it also does not get as hot as the original model) for years now. It’s excellent and well-priced. But maybe it is time to finally pull the trigger on the Dyson?! Contemplating asking for this for Christmas…
This Week’s Bestsellers.
So many great fall wardrobe staples in this week’s roundup of best-sellers! I own several of these!
I think it was a Magpie reader who first used this phrase: “You are not a project.” I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, especially in the aftermath of some of our conversations about female discipline. (Who are we being disciplined for? What are we disciples of? Do we equate discipline with “being good” — if so, is that healthy or even true?) Reading James Clear’s habits book first dredged up these cognitive dissonances earlier this year. Many of his suggestions about living a tidy, successful life are smart, and helpful, and vaguely medicinal, but I also felt an internal twang in the opposite direction, and I found myself fatigued by the notion that we must be in a constant state of self-improvement and optimization. Like, when can we let the hem out? When can we lay in the hammock? Is life really about polishing ourselves in pursuit of some kind of perfection?
Today, I am reminding myself: “You are not a project.” Your children are not projects. Your life is not a project. These admonitions are both reassuring (phew! I don’t need to be perfect!) and urgent, especially as I read Ann Patchett’s latest masterpiece, Tom Lake, which reminds me — as all her novels do — that our rich interiors are more important than the narratives that surround us. I mean, not much happens in a Patchett book, or what does happen is only important inasmuch as it shapes our inner worlds. So many of her books are about the fast-then-slow pace of life, the way the everyday can be absolutely spectacular and nothing at all, but none of this matters if we are not alive to experience. She lives out the Mary Oliver adage that attention is our “ceaseless and proper work,” and in turn makes clear that the grave consequence of considering ourselves projects is falling blind to the persistent magic of being alive. As Dickinson put it, “To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations.”
Shopping Break.
+These look like the Chloe Nama sneaks but are $200. Love the fall color options!
+This turtleneck is, actually, perfect. I own in black and it fits SO well. Perfect weight, softness, style. Thin enough to layer beneath other things but thick enough to keep you warm on its own.
+Obsessed with the fit/look of these cashmere joggers.
+Fun iron-on letters for backpacks, denim jackets, hats, pouches, etc.
