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Q: Everyday black pants.
A: I love the Spanx perfect fit line — specifically their Kick Flare style. These run TTS and are slightly compressive but comfortable. They hold you in but aren’t uncomfortable to wear all day long. They also have other silhouettes if the kick flare is not your vibe, but I do love the way the kick flares work with a ladylike flat and cropped jacket as easily as they do with a dressy sneaker and simple knit. I am also really impressed with Talbots’ Montauk pant (seen here) — they have a slightly less dramatic flare than the Spanx, and they come in a petite length for fellow shorties.
For something more casual, these rib knit pants from Donni are selling out quickly and look ultra-comfortable. I like the way they’ve styled them up on the site with a button-down. And for leggings that can be worn during the day and not look athletic — these Splits59. They are matte and super flattering.
Q: Chic lounge sets for postpartum.
A: I would buy a few pairs of Aligns (so stretchy and comfortable) to pair with nursing tanks and longline cardigans like this, this, or this, oversized button downs, or this slouchy waffle henley!). If you want a fully coordinated I set, I love this Frank and Eileen (cape style top would be easy for lift-up nursing), this H&M set looks chic and comfortable, and am into this distressed Free People set (looks so loose and breezy!). These ribbed kick flares (you can coordinate with tanks/tops) when you want to dress up a little bit. And treat yourself to some fun slippers!
Q: Options to easily “dress up” workout wear for school pick-up/city living.
A: Mix in non-athletic wear — throw an oversized sweater like this or this on over your leggings, add a statement baseball cap (drooling over this, will probably buy one of these), and/or layer beneath a non-athletic coat like this, this, or even this. I also think a dramatic vest like this or this layered over top can elevate a look instantly. One other tip: opt for a monochromatic look to tie everything together. All grays / all navies and blacks / all hues of green / all white/ivory/taupe.
Q: Pretty fall floral or print autumn dresses for work, flowy fabric and sleeves!
Q: Baby Christening in October. Nothing short – 2 months PP.
A: Congratulations! I love a rich, sophisticated fall floral like this, this, this, or this.
Q: Wedding day earrings under $1000.
A: Congratulations! I would buy these lab-grown white sapphire earrings from Dorsey. They’re real sapphires and so elegant. Look heirloom! If you want something more “statement,” Oscar de la Renta has beautiful options. Love the vintage appeal of these, but these flowers are spectacular, too. Nicola Bathie also has some fun options — this “baby’s breath” style is beautiful — and of course there is Rebecca de Ravenel (these are so gorgeous).
Q: A top to go with wide-leg, dark jeans for brewery rehearsal dinner out West. Under $200.
A: My Doen blouse would be perfect for this! I have in the burgundy. This Tuckernuck is also really fun, and feels very “Western,” and I own this Mille top in a few patterns and love the way it looks tucked into high-waisted denim.
Q: Pants for work that are more casual but not jeans. Not into the whole barrel leg trend.
A: I just ordered these in the hunter green myself. So sharp with some croc loafers! I also love a pair of cords, and think they dress up beautifully with a blazer or refined knit! What about these kick-flares in delightful, on-trend espresso brown, these wide legs in taupe, or these straight legs in olive? Finally, two pairs of pants I wear frequently that look great when styled up with dressier flats / blazer / blouse are Joe’s Cleo pants (see me styling them recently here and here) and Spanx’s black kick fits.
Q: A really nice housewarming gift.
A: A special ceramic from Stephanie Dawn Matthias, a Ralph Lauren mixing glass set (if they’re cocktail drinkers), or extra towels. Who doesn’t love/need extra towels? I love to gift the Matouk Auberges with the family’s initial on the front or Boll & Branch if the family is more modern in aesthetics.
Q: A pair of statement pants to wear out to dinner, but under $100.
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Saks is running a 25% off Friends & Family sale, and there are a bunch of fab current-season pieces included:
01 // Black Barbour coat. Just timeless. Great to be able to snag at a discount! Black feels unexpected from this brand – you could absolutely pair with more polished elements (think black patent heels, smooth leather booties, etc).
02 // Funky fair isle sheep-print SEA sweater. A novelty item but so fun and unexpected. I love a touch of whimsy/drama in my wardrobe. A great buy if you normally “play it safe” but want a statement in your closet.
03 // Joe’s Mia jeans in Cinema or Coated Leather. YES. I just love this tailored, lean silhouette, and so, it seems, do you! These have been a major top seller this past week.
04 // Manolo Maysli suede mule. Amazing investment, and the gray is fabulous. Gray is an underrated neutral. Goes so well with black, ivory, navy, brown, white, denim, pink…basically everything!
05 // I keep coming back to this Rag & Bone notch collar blazer. The stand collar is so beyond chic – I love when styled up.
06 // Eyeing one of these cheeky RL hats in taupe or hunter green. I love the look of pairing ballcaps with blazers right now, like the aforementioned.
07 // Ralph Lauren sweatshirt. Straight-up cool in a Lady-Di-meets-JFK-Jr kind of way. My sister recently asked me whether RL is “out” or not, and I say absolutely not. I feel like this brand just keeps on keeping on. I still wear my oxfords from my high school years!
08 // The DeMellier Vancouver Bag. This brand has been very hot this season — I love the shape and size of this leather mini bag, and of course the signature bold hardware.
10 // SEA pleated top — wow. I absolutely love this unexpectedly glamorous / throwback top. It looks like something a debutante would have worn in the 50s with big pearl earrings? Or maybe something on a John Singer Sargent subject?
11 // Into a suede platform heel to pair with fall dresses. The height is slightly intimidating but just think of the powerful silhouette you’d cut with this. Also, platforms tend to be much easier to walk in!
+If you like the suede platform heels (11) but aren’t enthused by height/price, check these out. They’re in my cart in the brown suede. I find that picking suede over patent/calf-skin leather in less expensive styles/brands always pays off. Suede just looks more expensive!
Over the years, I have discovered countless crossovers between my creative habits and my “real life.” For example, I love to apply design thinking to my everyday routines: how might I tinker with my schedule and rituals in order to make my day easier, more comfortable, more organized? I’ve come to perceive quotidian frictions as invitations for improvisation: if I’m always lagging at a certain time of day, or always dreading a particular set of activities or chores, I try to take the time to understand where the angst is coming from and ideate solutions. Some changes I’ve made in years past as a result of these introspections: 1) moving my children’s bath time up to before dinner; 2) implementing and calendaring an every-other-morning running routine to prevent myself from the inevitable get-into-workout-gear-but-then-keep-punting-back-the-run-until-its-five-oclock-and-too-late situation; 3) following (generally) a “one-thing-a-day” rule with my young children to stave off exhaustion and freneticism; 4) mentally conceptualizing chores as part of the architecture of my day versus “things getting in the way of life”; and 5) closing down my computer and all work/writing-related activities ten minutes before our nanny leaves so that I have time to “buffer” and toggle between creative mode and mom mode. There are others, but those have particularly impacted my happiness and overall sense of pace.
I was thinking, though, that one area in which I see much less “crossover” between my creative life and what I’ll call “the real world” is processing time. When I am writing — when I am in a flow, or caught by inspiration — I feel as though a conduit for language whose provenance I cannot discern. The writing pours out of me onto the page. Images and turns of phrase collect on the screen in front of me as though filings to a magnet. The immediacy of the experience can be intense and slightly dizzying. Of course, I know that output is itself the result of years and years of “processing” the stimuli of a very full life, and I also know I routinely go through multiple revisions that could be considered phases of “processing,” but when I am sitting at my desk, writing roundly, the mechanics feel distinctly, almost physically, precipitous. Like a sudden change in high-altitude weather.
In “the real world,” however, I have needed to unlearn, or perhaps “give up,” the sensation. Especially in my roles as a mother and entrepreneur, I have discovered that I need to give myself substantial time to process feedback, ideas, and opportunities. Otherwise, I hear about something and dive right into implementation mode with fully assessing the costs (which, in business, typically materialize in the form of time — e.g., “I could set that new widget up with no clear vision as to what will come of it, or I could spend the afternoon writing”). And in parenting, this might mean trying on a half-baked philosophy that I promptly discard — much to my child’s confusion.
My bias toward action has clearly been conditioned by a lifetime of creative writing, by the kind of seize-the-page mentality I have long cultivated there, but I have learned, these past few years in particular, that acting with urgency is not always a benefit in parenthood or business (or at least in mine). There are, of course, times where it is, but there is often enough runway to at least run a quick analysis. I know this, yet I routinely have to bat away the desire to just jump in.
These insights may be idiosyncratic to my own situation, but I’m curious today about other areas of life in which we’ve found mismatches in orientation. It is common, I think, to look for the echoes, but what about the chasms? What do those deltas teach us? (Writing out loud, I think they can remind us to stay open to nuance versus steamroll over details by replicating what we know in another realm).
Today, I’m curious if you’d be open to sharing something specific that has not “crossed over” between one of the spaces you occupy in your life — professional, parental, academic, athletic, creative, romantic, personal — and another.
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Shopping Break.
+I did end up ordering these green trousers — will style when I receive! — and I had planned to order this striped cardigan but realized I have a very similar one from Toteme so swapped it out for this funky variegated wool one. I have nothing like it in my closet and feel it will go with so many fall colors!
+Urgent: if you love my Marant boots but not the price tag, these are super similar and under $100!
+Can’t stop thinking/wearing/buying chocolate brown. Now on my radar: these ultra-minis and this under-$150 dress. (More chocolate-hued finds here.)
+Grace Farris sent me a copy of this brilliant “mom calendar” that I now have tacked up in our house — it’s brilliant! It has a column for each child/member of the family for each day of the month. So (!) helpful for quickly remembering what’s going on each day of the week, and the stickers are a cute shortcut.
+Target just restocked all of its Sugar Paper gift wrap. Trust me, this is infinitely superior to whatever you can find at CVS — much thicker, better quality, and more aesthetically pleasing. I just ordered this trio of wrapping rolls because they *will* sell out closer to the holidays.
+Someone gave me one of these Corksicle mugs awhile ago and I have no idea why but I didn’t use it for a full year and now I’m using it daily for an afternoon tea break. It keeps tea so much warmer for so much longer and I like the rubber padding on the bottom?
+I do not need another sweatshirt…I do not. But this keeps finding its way into my cart, especially while on sale…love the neckline and vintage quality!
+Speaking of Julia B., contemplating buying these woven planters for mums on our front stoop. Do we think they’ll stand up to rainy fall weather?
+My daughter has been begging me for “fuzzy socks.” A former nanny of ours gave her this one striped pair that she still squeezes her feet into despite the fact that they fit a three year old (and she’s now six). I ordered her this set of replacements.
By: Jen Shoop
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Today: some festive ideas for the Halloween season. I want to specifically mention that these adorable mini pumpkin cocottes from Staub are on sale and would be so fab for serving French onion soup, chili, or even a little bowl of dip/guac/etc this fall. And if you’re in the market for woven/rattan pumpkins to decorate with but don’t want to spend as much as the options at Pottery Barn and Juliska, these ones at Grandin Road are a good price. Finally, this Embers candle from Linnea is probably my favorite candle I’ve ever burned from the brand. It smells a lot like Diptyque Feu de Bois and has more throw than Linnea’s other scents.
And a few fun seasonal finds for families with young children, too. I especially love this Halloween book — we actually read it year-round. It has adorable illustrations and I love the overall message of hypothesizing and testing multiple different solutions to solve a problem. I’ve also loved the book The Humbug Witch since I was a little girl. My mother used to come into our class and read it every year! I now read it to my children!
P.P.S. More recent children’s finds — including a bunch of Halloween activities for littles and a Christmas gift to buy now and sock away for the holidays.
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I’ve shared my love for Alice Walk pieces countless times over the years, and have long eyed their gorgeous structured wool cape, which they can’t seem to keep in stock during the cold season. I was ecstatic when they sent me one and cannot wait to wear this all fall long. I love the structure of this piece — the stand collar, the seams — and admirably minimalist restraint. Not a button or flounce in sight — just clean lines, which I think elevate the style. (I took an XS in this.) I styled it here with a very old fair isle knit (similar here and here), my off-white SLVRLAKEs, these Celine-inspired sunnies ($15!), and my very old Louis Vuitton Speedy bag. Fashion guru Jenny Walton recently made the case that these bags are back this season, and I’ve seen French chic pea Delphine Reynaud wear hers all over the place, too. I have an intense attachment to this bag because it was the first designer bag I saved up for and purchased with my first corporate job after college. I loved it so much that carried it (impractically) to work every single day along with an old canvas tote for what I actually needed to bring with me (lunch, papers, a change of shoes, etc). I guess I’ve always embraced the fashion philosophy of wearing what you love…!
A few other top layers I love for the upcoming season:
1 // This herringbone wrap coat from Veronica Beard. No one does outerwear/blazers like VB. I cannot stop obsessing over each and every piece they put out, and I’m especially drawn to the borrowed-from-the-boys herringbone and the dramatic cinched waist on this beauty.
2 // This boiled wool topcoat from J. Crew is perfection. I personally love it in that bubblegum pink. So fun with camel, navy, black, gray for winter? I’ve said this many times but I’ve never regretted a statement outerwear purchase. It always draws attention and think about the fact that your coat is your cold weather calling card! It’s the single item most people will see you in during the cold months. A pink coat brings a sense of whimsy/playfulness to your wardrobe — especially when delivered in the otherwise staid shape of a menswear-inspired topcoat. If pink is too much, it also comes in great neutrals.
4 // Speaking of the Toteme jacket, this Boden style ($260!) borrows the whipstitching but redefines the shape. Love love in the navy. I immediately envisioned with ecru jeans for winter.
5 // I’ve wanted a Max Mara wool camel coat for years and years, and they are serious investments. I feel like you could buy one in your 20s and wear it through your 90s, though — timeless and so elegant. Would look just as good thrown on over a pair of jeans as it would over a silk gown. You can get a similar look for less with this perfect Aligne style (under $375).
6 // Very into Favorite Daughter’s City Coat — sophisticated, lean (love the slightly dramatic longer length), and chicly tailored, but made cool/modern/contemporary/youthful with the unexpected sweater cuff. This is the coat your New York City friend wears.
7 // BA&SH’s reverse shawl collar Colin coat is Parisienne-chic at its finest. It’s currently 50% off somehow in timeless black — but get one of the colors if it’s still in stock in your size! The ivory is so dreamy…!
8 // This textured Sezane is head-turning. Love the unexpected pockets.
9 // This Loveshackfancy white wool coat is nothing short of spectacular. I cannot stop thinking about it. White is so impractical, but this is a dream. Imagine layered over either cropped black trousers and ballet flats, or a pair of silky trousers (look for less with these)?
10 // I’m not a big pea coat lover — I think I was scalded by the trend back when it was all the rage in the 90s. (Forgive me, but I just don’t like a man in a pea coat. It feels wrong. And yet everyone was doing it back then.). But Tory Burch changed my mind this season with this style. The gold buttons!!! The slightly cropped shape! So good.
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Nothing novel, but I have been seriously into pairing navy and black this past week. I almost can’t help myself from reaching for this combo on a daily basis…? I guess this is the sartorial counterpart to my “hyper-fixation meals.” Ha! The basic rule I’ve landed on is that you need at least two items of one color. Two navy, one black; two black, one navy; etc. You can do more of either (three navy, one black; two navy, two black), but I think the look doesn’t work as well if you have just one black item and one navy item — then it runs the risk of looking straight-up mismatched. But double down on one color and you signal that you know what you’re doing.
By the way, a moment for the return of the “East-West” bag, as seen in items 11 and 14 above? (“East- West” refers to any bag with an elongated horizontal side.) I’m obsessed. I think I’m going to ask for one of the Savette pochettes for Christmas. They are so unusual and spectacular. A perfect dinner bag. Saks is currently running a 25% off sale that includes a few of the Demellier East-West bags, bringing the price down to $340, and J. Crew also has a handbag out in this general category. I was also eyeing this croc-effect style one from Zara — love the style and detail — but worry the gold hardware will look cheap IRL. Might try to pop in to check it out…
And! If you love the navy-black combo as much as I do, you might dig these navy-and-black captoes from Veronica Beard, which I believe sold out already and were restocked. Look for less with these.
When I was little, my father used to slow his car on the curving drive up to our house, gesturing with admiration to the flocks of forsythia in early spring bloom, or the snowfall of apple blossom petals in June, or the clutter of oranges and browns in the maple trees in autumn. I’d begrudge the decelerations, looking stonily at the branches through half-lidded eyes, my mind trotting ahead to homework, or play, or calling my friend Ellie on the gray cordless telephone hanging above my mother’s desk in the kitchen. I knew nothing of the march of time, its cycling cruelties and kindnesses, the way a yellow blossom carried thaw of all kinds on its petals after a long winter.
A gift of age: second findings. What I overlooked in my youth blooms wondrous in my 30s. Petrichor after storm, the lightning bugs that constellate our July twilights, the first frost glistening across fall grass, the confetti of Mexican sunflowers my husband grew from seed right next to Elizabeth’s roses.
What was unremarkable then turns out to be great now.
What I mean to say is —
It can feel sometimes that life unfolds like a string of losses. I think of Elizabeth Bishop, her art of losing, the way time took, with increasing greed, her door keys, misspent hours, her mother’s watch, “two cities, lovely ones,” and then her beloved.
But there is recompense in lingering on the small details we overlooked as children.
I’ve discovered in my 30s entire worlds I missed while hopscotching.
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Shopping Break.
+My mother recently asked me for recs for “an upgraded morning walk wardrobe.” I pointed her in the direction of Frank & Eileen’s Aspen set (how fab is my Internet friend Cheryl in hers?) and Gap’s coordinated sets.
+I’ve been using Ilia’s liquid powder eye shadow lately — it’s AMAZING. Love to apply with my finger just to add a touch of evenness/dimension. I have in the matte cork color but want to try others!
+How cute is this blue and white patterned lamp?! Can’t believe it’s only $50.
+These look just like my Loeffler Randall Leonies — but are $70!
+One of my Magpies was raving about this Naghedi crossbody for everyday mom life (big enough to hold more than just the essentials in case you need to stow a pair of soccer socks, some snacks, a library book, a handful of cars or LOL Surprise dolls, etc), but mentioned that she swaps out the strap for more colorful options from Amazon. Cute way to personalize!
+We recently designated a section of our fridge for healthy snacks the children can grab on their own — yogurt pouches, string cheese, apples, cut fruit and veg. We use the bottom door shelves of our fridge for this but this turnstile would be another good option (and a clear visual way to indicate where kids can pull their snacks from!).
+A skincare expert recently advised against overspending on face wash / face cleansers because they’re on the skin for such a short period of time. She said to instead invest in the serums and creams that stay on your skin for hours. Mind blown! Two cleansers I’ve used and liked recently: Youth to the People (currently 25% off!) and Biossance. Neither are crazy expensive (both much less expensive than the Tata Harper I was hooked on for years!), but might try La Roche Posay’s inexpensive (but well reviewed and well respected) formula next.
+Don’t hate me for thinking so far ahead, but this dress will be long gone come holiday season and it is SO good.
By: Jen Shoop
If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!I am contemplating expanding the content in this series soon. Let me know if there’s more of something you’d like to see there!
This week, I’ve been asking myself, How do I decide how involved to be at my children’s school? I left the inaugural HSA meeting revved up to sign up for everything, especially since I have always imagined myself stepping up to be class parent (and have done it twice in my children’s Montessoris), volunteering for field trips and bake sales, etc. But last year revealed something interesting to me: I might be of best use in narrower straits. By this I mean that last year, I plugged in to the school community in a couple of ways, and I found some draining and low-impact (to everyone, not just speaking selfishly! — like, I don’t think I was additive to some of these events), but my favorite and most meaningful was volunteering a handful of times in the school library. I’d go in and read to my daughter’s class and then help her and her classmates find and select books to take home. I had wanted to help with shelving, too, but the kind librarian waved me off. I treasured this small involvement and am not above admitting that it afforded the slightest impression of living out a childhood fantasy of owning a bookstore. More importantly, it gave me insight into my daughter’s school world and classmate dynamics and enabled me to model for her a lifelong obsession with reading. It was also quiet, and easy, and barren of any of the occasionally uncomfortable dynamics of interacting with mothers who are more involved in the school. I should say that absolutely none of the mothers I’ve met at my children’s school are ever unpleasant or anything but welcoming, but there is always — how to say it? — a slight chasm? A feeling of outsidership? Like, I inwardly wish I was that mom who was always at the school, and feel mild remorse that I am not? I tell you, guilt grows like knotweed in my motherhood reflections, equally unbidden and unmitigatible.
I read not long ago a bit of advice from a seasoned mother: “Get involved in your children’s school where your kids will see you.” Meaning: if you’re going to make the effort to be there, find a way to make your presence and volunteerism visible and high-impact for your child. I think the library was a good spot for this and plan to reprise this filter as I tick through other opportunities for the year ahead.
I was texting a wise mom friend of mine for her thoughts on how she decided how involved to be (she has a senior job at a major financial institution), and she said: “I sign up for one in-class party per year, and then just plug in a little when convenient. It’s just not a season for me to lean in hard at school. I’ve made peace with it.”
Increasingly, in this realm and others, I am aware of the impact of drawing boundaries and making peace with them. I dropped out of two book clubs this month, and I did it clearly and without beating around the bush. This might sound self-involved and obverse to social norms, but I am reminded of an old sales adage we tossed around back in my days of slinging software: “A quick no is much better than a slow maybe.” Like, why drag things out and open the door for awkwardnesses or repeated “no, can’t make it again” type conversations? Better, I think, to have a clean break? To entirely remove the agony of “can I finish that book by x date? How do I say no again?”
Trivialities, all, but inroads into becoming an expert in myself…
Onward!
Some other notes from the week:
+I changed out my summer table linens for autumn ones thanks to Christina Dickson Home (in progress shots seen above and below). She sent over the most gorgeous bundle of tablecloths, placemats, and napkins, and generously offered us all 20% off with code MAGPIE20. In fall, I love to mix in woven placemats like these for a little earthy texture, put out dried hydrangea in a rustic vase (this is the exact one we have and it’s on sale!; I cut the hydranges above from our bushes and dried them myself!), and swap out the taper candles for fall colors like forest green (seen above). I shared these earlier this week, but if you don’t have dried hydrangea, I’m obsessing over the look of these faux plum tree branches or these magnolia ones. Terrain also has some really cool dried arrangements that would be perfect for the season.
+While we’re on the subject of table linens, Julia Amory is also running a big warehouse sale, with select linens at 75% off. It’s running through today!
+I’m firmly planted in my fall running regimen and it feels fantastic. Fall is my favorite running season. I love witnessing the turn of the trees on foot. Anyway, this week, it was chilly enough for layers, so I bought a bunch of the items in my fall fitness roundup. I’m especially excited about my new Harrier tee from Tracksmith (these are the absolute BEST; stretchy and breathable and warm despite being very thin; try code NETC-Team for 20% off…worked for me! I’m a major coupon code hunter), my new Nikes, and this running hoodie. Really leaned into marigold for fall. I also ordered those Athleta salutation leggings so many of you raved about (you can see me in them below). I am…so-so on them! I feel badly saying that since so many of you raved about them, so take my perspective with many grains of salt. Here’s my beef: I find the seams up around the waist/belly area and the pockets on the side not particularly flattering? (This is noteworthy since I run with cropped-length shirts a lot — if I were only pairing with a long sweatshirt, might have a different story). I also never feel the cell phone pocket does me any good — I will never put my cell phone there (cannot imagine running with my phone on my leg?), and so it just adds bulk/distraction where I want nothing. Overall, I think I prefer the seamlessness of Lululemon Aligns. I do think the Athletas have a good fit, length, and overall feel — slightly more compressive than Aligns and clearly fantastic quality. But I find already I’d prefer my Aligns to them. I also ordered a fourth or fifth pair of those inexpensive Amazon leggings, also in brown. They’re like my “beater leggings.” Take ’em out when it’s rainy/muddy and throw in the laundry. The fit is great, I tell you! The quality is definitely inferior to Lulu / Athleta, but they are only $20. Anyhow, I think I’ll be reserving my Athletas for more athleisure moments versus fitness. Below, I styled for a walk with this Amazon sweatshirt (runs enormous – do not size up; I think this was a Grace find!) and $20 sherpa bag. (And, per usual, Dorsey necklaces — I rarely take these off.)
+After my runs, I am always freezing, and I pack a big, boxy sweatshirt to throw on over top. My current favorites are this Paris one and an old “Cindy Crawford” one from The Reformation from years ago. I love the Cindy one because I usually could not look any less like Cindy when I’m wearing it — tired, sweaty, no makeup. I’m not a big athleisure gal (although this roundup is making me change my tune a bit…I influenced myself!), but I do love a crewneck sweatshirt like this. Such a splurge, but I keep coming back to this faded green Anine Bing one.
+We had a delightful crab feast last Sunday — the end of the summer always feels like the right time for this, though blue crabs in these parts are delicious all through fall, and especially in October, as they fatten and prepare to molt. (My father-in-law calls them “brown bellies” and hunts them out of the pile.) My husband and his family are — how to say? — purist? Puritanical? about crab-eating. They approach it like some of us do Sunday Church. There are rules and conventions to observe, and they are unwavering in their devotion. First, they serve nothing but crab. Don’t even try to sneak in a corn muffin or a sheet of french fries. Instead, you eat the crab until full, over the course of a few hours, or until you grow tired of picking and instead just sit back in your chair and sip beer. Second, the only acceptable accoutrements for steamed blue crab are Old Bay (or sometimes the house seasoning, if offered by the crab purveyor — they all have variations on Old Bay) and malt vinegar. They laugh — they scoff! — at drawn butter, which is reserved for lobster and other (in their eyes, lesser) types of crab. Third, no mallets/hammers allowed. They shatter the shell and make the meat difficult to eat, pierced as it will become with cartilage. Instead, you may only use crab picking knives purchased from an obscure Maryland company. These look like small, heavy butter knives and, over the past many years, I’ve learned that you can, in fact, capably pick a crab with just one of these implements. They will tolerate crackers (and set one out generously at my place), but generally turn up their noses to those, too. I find I still need them to crack the claws, though my in-laws use the leverage of the table to get into theirs.
I’ve come to cherish these idiosyncrasies, which make the feast simple, satisfying, and somehow reverent? All hail the blue crab!
+Sometimes classics are the only way to go. I put on the outfit below and felt like a million bucks — and so myself, too! The bag is the LL Bean medium in ecru/ecru with regular-length handles (had a lot of questions about handles — the long ones look too long and IMO out of proportion with the bag, and these regular length ones WILL fit over your shoulder, but just barely, FYI). I have so many of these boat totes but really love this size and colorway for fall. I’ve been wearing it all week in lieu of a proper handbag. The dress is G Label (seriously cannot rave enough about the quality and tailoring of Goop’s house label — it is SO good, and I love seeing Gwyneth style all of the pieces…apparently she remains very involved in the fit and styling of the house brand, and often serves as fit model) and the sweater over my shoulders is Quince’s cotton fisherman which is ANOTHER slam dunk from this brand. Guys! Where have I been? This brand makes the best inexpensive sweaters to fill out all your wardrobe holes. This navy one is so versatile and did I mention it’s 100% cotton and only $39?! Seriously insane. I love it. I sized up to a small in this for a looser fit and probably could have even gone up to a medium for a really slouchy/oversized look, which is kind of what I’m after these days.
+Some final shopping notes: 1 // my Tazz Ugg slippers, available in a super-cute teddy brown and stocked in all sizes!; 2 // the lip balm you’ve been raving about for awhile — cannot wait to try when these arrive in the mail; 3 // my current most absurd fashion craving: a designer baseball cap, specifically one of these Celine logo hats (I blame Nicole Cassidy) or this plaid Miu Miu. I don’t think I can legitimize such a $$ purchase, so looking for other fun fall hats — currently eyeing this plaid one (look for even less with this; 4 // found my Sleeper feather trim pajama set on super sale in a fun hot pink here. Trust me when I say these are SO fun to wear out for holiday affairs / birthdays / girls dinners. Just pair with a suede pump or velvet platform to signal intentionality and keep the rest of the look minimal. You can also wear just the top on its own. 5 // My Internet friend Chrissy shared these incredible under-$100 suede brown platform heels. Love! Perfect with all the wider-legs/flares or long fall dresses we’ve been buying. *Adds to cart.* I’m attending a fall party at the end of this week (will be debuting this Doen dress, which arrived and is SPECTACULAR — I ordered the XXS and I swear it looks tailor-made to my silhouette!; would be perfect for Thanksgiving! I got in the creme forest floral but also love the brand-new mulberry vine pattern) and thinking about ordering the shoes to wear with it.
P.P.P.S. My fall shop! And all the items on my current fashion wishlist.
By: Jen Shoop
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**I took the above photo at Storm King Art Center a few years ago. If you live in NYC, you must plan a visit in fall!
My Latest Snags: Tuckernuck Dress + Doen Blouse.
This week, I picked up this denim Tuckernuck dress (so versatile — love the clean lines) and this Doen top (influenced by you — this was a bestseller last week and I loved the idea of tucking it into dark wash denim). I also ordered a bunch of items for my daughter, including this Zara dress, these Zara Mary Janes, this Little English dress, and these Birkenstock-inspired slides.
I can’t stop thinking about an Instagram overlay I heard this week: an older woman’s voice says she’s reached the end of her “I can’t wait until–” years, and that she regretted all the time she spent postponing happiness, or straining to get to the next phase. I have gotten much better about this from a parenting standpoint since my son was born. I remember laying in my postpartum bed, in our first (matchbox-sized) apartment in New York, and witnessing a kind of haze settle in around my baby and I. “Stay a little longer,” I told myself. “Soak everything up.” And I did, for what felt like weeks on end. I deferred little chores, put down my phone, leaned on the kindness of my husband to bring me breakfast and coffee — and instead absorbed everything about that tiny boy. I have no regrets.
But I think it’s the finer points — the smaller activities, the quotidian repetitions — that give me trouble. It was easier, I think, to say: “His newborn days are fleeting; let me sit still with him.” So, too, with planned special days for my children, in which I arrive with an intention to focus on them. It is much harder for me to stay present and open during the humdrum: standing on the sidelines at soccer, or watching my four-year-old boy swing at the park, or making my way through dinner. I find myself thinking about the other things I can or should do, fast-forwarding to next steps. It is not that I am wishing the time away, exactly, or saying “I can’t wait until –” but more that I am not adequately paying attention to the here-and-now. It’s as though time is slipping right through my fingers. At heart, I know I’m talking about mindfulness. And I know I need to better exercise that muscle. Last weekend, for example, my husband and I took our son to a playground for an hour, a rare just-the-three-of-us excursion. I will never forget my son’s glee, the way he basked in our attention, the way his affection poured out, honey-like. But sitting on that bench at around the twenty or thirty minute mark, I admitted to my husband that I was having trouble sitting still. I ticked through all the reasons why my fidgetiness was absurd: the weather was glorious; we had no one whining or out of sorts; we were offering our boy some much-needed quality time; we were together; our time was absent of external demands. And yet. I felt myself itching to be productive, to check my phone, to rifle through plans for the evening or following day. Saying it all out loud made me feel better, more centered, more capable of bending my mind to the present moment, especially when my husband shared something interesting about mindfulness and the use of time:
“Expectations — good or bad — are the enemy.” He explained that if you go into an experience with high expectations, even if they are met, you’re constantly expending energy in yardsticking. If you enter into an experience with low expectations, you’re approaching from a place of negativity.
I’ve been trying this on for size this week. I’ve been self-aware when I find myself grimacing or over-enthusing about a particular event or chore or activity. It’s like putting myself into neutral. I trust taht this practice is how the truly even-keeled folks make their way through life: open to surprise, unflustered by the happenstance. They open the door and accept.
Post-Scripts.
+A few of you had asked for the peppier dinner party playlist I used recently — I saved it to a public Spotify playlist in case you’d like to listen! I also have a “Magpie Dishwashing Music” playlist that is perfect for chores at home on a rainy Saturday.
+Intrigued by this tiny steamer for travel. I have a small Rowenta one but I almost never bring it with me because it’s too bulky — and their travel one doesn’t look that small? (In general, I’m inclined to trust Rowenta, though. Their iron is incredible. Have I yapped about it enough this year? If you don’t have a Rowenta, strongly advise upgrading. Will make your clothes look so much better!)
+A perfect corduroy kick flare. I actually pulled out my trusty Gap kick flares (I think I’ve led about 2/3 of the women in my life to order these, and all rave about them as much as I do!) this week and was reminded of how much I love this flattering fit.
+Julia Amory’s caftan in black is such a great transitional dress. I actually thought of Halloween when I saw it! And of course I adore her shirtdresses.
+Remember the tartan trousers I was going wild over earlier this week? If you like the look but not the price tag, Sezane has a cute pair in a great wool tartan out now. So good for the holidays!
+Sezane has a lot of really chic, well-priced pieces out right now! I think I’m going to try these cropped forest green trousers (!) and this striped cardigan, which reminds me of La Ligne, but about half the price.
+Losing my mind over this Stine Goya dress. I do not have an occasion lined up to wear it but…!!!! So good for holiday…
+In response to my post about girls’ dresses for fall this week, a Magpie pointed me in the direction of this spectacular fall toile from new-to-me brand Lallie London. Wow!
*Go up a size for a roomier fit. I could probably have even gone up two sizes for a slouchier look. (I took a S and am usually an XS.) So, so worth the hype. I’m wildly (!) impressed with quality relative to its under-$100 price tag. I will be getting more from this brand. After many of you raved about the brand, I reached out to them to see if they’d be willing to send me a sample to test, and they generously gifted me this item and a few others. Thank you so much for the rec. I’m obsessed!
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Do you go through phases of brief, intense obsession with certain dishes? I am absolutely this way — but my husband could not be more different. He hates repeating meals (save for leftovers; we typically eat the same dinner twice in a row to reduce his cooking load) and is hell-bent on diversifying not only the cuisines but proteins we eat from day to day. (A week of all poultry is hell for him!)
Me? I’m deep into a bizarre but delicious breakfast of cottage cheese (Good Culture brand only), everything bagel seasoning, and raspberries harvested from Mr. Magpie’s garden. I know it sounds strange: garlic seasoning alongside fruit? But it works. A great combination of savory, umami, sweet, and it’s filling enough that a small ramekin keeps me happy until lunchtime. I also love the cottage cheese with EB seasoning and cucumbers for a later-in-the-day snack.
Other hyper-fixations I’ve had in the recent past: chicken caesar salad wraps (I generally avoid wraps like the plague, as they bespeak bad corporate catering, but fell in love with one from a local spot and could not stop ordering it), chicken pho ga soup with a ton of lime, sriracha, and Thai basil mixed in, and broccoli rabe dressed with red pepper flakes, garlic, olive oil, and pecorino romano. This last dish can hardly be called a “temporary” fling — I’ve been obsessed with it for years. If rabe is on the menu, I will order it. There is a local pizza joint that has a broccoli rabe and sausage pizza and I have a very difficult time ordering anything else but this combo.
What’s your current hyper-fixation meal? The weirder the better. Please share in the comments!
+Some of our favorite restaurants in the DC area here. To this I would add a Bob’s Shanghai 66, a no-frills, fast-casual Chinese restaurant out in Rockville that Landon took me to this week for a little midweek lunch date. It was SO, so good.
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Shopping Break.
+All the hype about these pants! I ordered a pair to try…
+Also ordered this fun dress. I am such a dress girl.
+But I also discovered the perfect LBD. I own a sleeveless version of this dress in a hot pink and it is SO FLATTERING. The fit is divine. Somehow 25% off and fully stocked!
+I polled my Magpies for the best dry shampoo and so, so many of you (hands down) raved about Living Proof. I ordered myself some – cannot wait to try!
+Speaking of new beauty, a few of you had raved about UBeauty’s Lip Plasma, and the team over there just reached out and offered to send me a few colors to try. I cannot wait!!! Will write a review as soon as I receive and test.
+It may seem early, but these little tree decorations are a good thing to buy now and sock away for Thanksgiving. The brown ones would totally work on a fall tablescape, too!
+This bag was sold out in the navy suede until late October so I picked in the chocolate raisin color. I’ve been looking for a good slouchy bucket bag for fall and love the buckle on this one.
+Again, this is early (!), but I love these legging sets from Lila + Hayes for my girl. I’ve bought her several sets each year and it’s just such an easy uniform for weekends. Comfortable for her, but cute! The patterns are amazing. They always do great holiday patterns.
By: Jen Shoop
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I know I’m leaning into fall when I start gravitating towards thriller books (about to start this one, and my sister-in-law is reading and enjoying this!), watching horror movies (did anyone else see “Bodies Bodies Bodies”? It came out last year, but Mr. Magpie and I watched it last weekend and thought it was excellent — sort of edge-of-your-seat whodunnit with Gen Z flare; Clue with contemporary social commentary!), and burning fall candles (I have this, this, and this already queued up for the season). This weekend, I’m planning to make my yearly batch of iced pumpkin cookies. It’s a bit on the early side (I usually wait until October), but I can’t help myself.
A couple of finds to maximize fall hygge this autumn —
