Jen Shoop, Author at Magpie by Jen Shoop

By: Jen Shoop

Loves — I am just back in town from the most gorgeous vacation in Sag Harbor, so I am a little short on time tonight, but I thought I’d sit down and jot a quick note your way while Mr. Magpie whips up a batch of bucatini all’amatriciana in the kitchen (one of those dishes for which we nearly always have everything on hand)…

Oh, Sag Harbor…! I am in love. We had such a wonderful time we’ve already started planning a second return before the summer’s out. I’m not sure whether we’ll return to Sag Harbor or visit another town in the Hamptons, but suffice to say we are complete and hopeless devotees of the Hamptons. Sag Harbor felt quiet, quaint, approachable, languorous — but sophisticated, well-designed. I loved the mix of old-school five-and-dimes and ice cream shops alongside higher brow restaurants and boutiques. Hard to believe we were just two hours outside of Manhattan; it felt like a moon-length away. Just perfect.

A couple of quick things that made the last few days extra special:

+A Granite Wear clam steamer. This is the legit real deal that everyone on the Chesapeake Bay uses to steam blue crabs. Mr. Magpie has wanted one forever, and this trip led to its purchase, as we feasted on local steamers (divine, dipped in butter) and lobster (equally divine, also dipped in butter). This would be such an incredible gift for a blue crab / seafood lover.

+Mr. Magpie swears by this cookbook for figuring out how to prepare lobsters, steamers, etc — and all the accoutrements for oysters (mignonette!)

+While in the Hamptons, I decided mini does, in fact, need a Minnow Swim suit. This is en route, just in time for her first swim lesson this weekend! (This less expensive similar style looked adorable on her, though.) Separately, I’m so sad I missed out on this rash guard style! (More rash guard picks here. And a full rundown of my picks for mini gear at the beach here.)

+This purchase has to be the best $20 I’ve spent all season. We use it constantly — for picnics and playdates in the park, that time we listened to the Met Opera al fresco, and, more recently, on the beach! Must buy. I wish it were a little more insulated/waterproof on the one side, but it’s super thick and absorbent nonetheless and comes with a little strap that enables you to roll it up and throw it over your shoulder.

+Things I wish we’d purchased in advance (rather than spending an arm and a leg at the last minute at the local hardware store): a soft-sided cooler (I love this and this for the wine), a beach umbrella (how darling are this or this or this?; value pick: this one), folding beach chairs (adorable, but this one is probably the most realistic).

+Less practical but just darling: this monogrammed insulated bag for toting snacks.

+I brought these melamine dip plates along for mini — they’re the perfect size for a little snack, and they can’t be broken!

+Everyone was wearing Birkenstocks. Everyone. They’re not really to my taste, but I have to admit a lot of the ladies were totally rocking them! I saw one ultra chic pea wearing a top knot and a muumuu style (muumuus for the win!) printed tunic dress with a pair in pastel pink and she looked ridiculously put together. I spent some time searching for her dress online (why did I not ask where it was from?!) and couldn’t find anything that looked exactly like it, but I did come across this $36 boho tunic dress which nail the vibe — just much shorter — and it’s currently in my shopping cart. (Also considering this.)

+I am obsessed with this preppy hat. I need it! I want to wear it with something like this.

+This is such a good idea for traveling with a dog!

+EPIC Intermix sale — an extra 40% off all sale! — and I am eyeing this, this, and these.

By: Jen Shoop

How absolutely darling are these mother-and-child coordinating outfits from Ralph Lauren? I love the way the looks were captured by photographer Karel Balas for Milk Magazine.

I especially love this pretty white dress for me, and this one for mini. (And P.S. – if you need that Jane Birkin-esque bag, the answer is this store. I ordered one last summer!) And — not shown in the round up above — I also love this striped shirtdress for me and this coordinating one for mini!

Or, flag sweaters for all! (Mom, Dad, brother, sister!)

A couple of other good sources for coordinating looks in case you’re planning your summer-shoot-on-the-beach-for-a-Christmas-card-picture:

RRR — this and this!

Pink Chicken — this and this!

Doen

Lilly Pulitzer

For Dads and Sons — how cute are these coordinating swimsuits?!

Finally, TBBC is running a special promo where you get free shipping and 30% off any of their adorable hats/bonnets with code headsup through this Saturday! I always stock up on bonnets when they run their promos, and this and this are currently in le basket.

P.S. How adorable is this tennis sweatshirt?!

By: Jen Shoop

A couple of head-to-toe outfits for you today…

This Rebecca Taylor Dress (on sale!) with these H+M mules ($30!) and a Muun bag (love):

D+G butterfly dress and Hermes Oran Sandals (get the look for less with these) and an Amanda Lindroth basket bag (I have and love this, and it’s now on sale!):

Mi Golondrina embroidered dress with this Clare Vivier clutch and — too far? — these Mercedes Salazar drops:

This striped Madewell t-dress (under $60! — also love the ones from Kule) with this adorable iPhone case and Golden Goose sneakers (I own this exact pair) and a monogrammed canvas tote:

A pair of Illesteva cat-eyes, a scalloped Marysia one-piece (on sale!), a pair of knotted, scallop-trim slides, and a Pam Munson tote, maybe with this over top?!:

Finally — one interesting way to style your white muumuu? Imagine this with these and these.

And these belong with this. Just sayin.

P.S. It was an interesting trip down memory lane re-reading this…

P.P.S. I hate these words.

By: Jen Shoop

I hope that your day involves lots of watermelon, Tim McGraw, rose, and ice cream sandwiches, and that you’re wearing something festive. I’m wearing either a Caroline Constas blouse I bought a couple months back (on super sale now! — you can’t really see it in the picture, but it looks more red, white, and blue up close!) with white skinnies OR this Saloni dress, which is described as “hot pink” but looks more like nantucket red IRL. (Similar in ethos to this well-priced white linen style I’ve been eyeing.) I’ve packed both for the occasion and it will be a gametime decision. Either of those, or you’ll find me wearing my swimsuit, possibly underneath my white joveralls.

My only regret is that I didn’t come across these until just today. How adorable would they be with an LWD for the occasion? Not too on-the-nose patriotic, but just enough to let the world know you can get down with a theme.

If you find yourself escaping for some quiet time inside after a morning melting at the pool or beach, well — it’s a good day to shop online because there are some ridiculous deals to be had. Here are my top picks:

HEAVILY DISCOUNTED GUL HURGEL (are you a Gul gal too?!)

MUST-HAVE EBERJEY ROMPER (I am obsessed with mine!)

CLASSIC NAVY POLO SHIRT (or one for your husband/boyfriend — extra 30% off!)

PARTY-READY AQUAZZURAS

NEW PAIR OF BOAT SHOES FOR MR. MAGPIE (he goes a pair a year)

CLASSIC RED LINEN SHIRTDRESS

SWEET LITTLE ASYMMETRICAL NUMBER (UNDER $40!)

A STATEMENT BLOUSE

COMFY STRIPED JAMS

A CHIPPENDALE CHAIR!

And for minis…

A NEW PAIR OF HANNA JAMS (25% OFF!)

A SWEET FLORAL DRESS

THE MOST OUTRAGEOUSLY ADORABLE KNIT SWEATER

OLIVIER BABY TWO-PIECE SETS

POPPYBOWS ON SALE IN BRIGHT HAPPY CHEERY SUMMER COLORS

P.S. Still appreciating some wise words from Colin Powell.

P.P.S. A recipe for a rainy day.

P.P.P.S. A good price on a hyacinth basket, and I think mini would die and go to heaven if I presented her with this.

By: Jen Shoop

It’s been awhile since we talked cosmetics ’round here — and that’s for a good reason: I have been v. pleased with my skincare and makeup routine, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Still, I scattered reviews of products and so forth over the last few Magpie Polish posts, so I thought I’d do a full rundown of my current daily routine:

I start the morning by washing my face with Tata Harper’s regenerating face wash. I did a full review of this wunderproduct here, but the short story is that I prefer a face wash with a mild exfoliant in it, and this stuff is magical. A dermatologist once told me that daily exfoliation is too hard on your skin and advocated for Cetaphil, a bit of advice I promptly discarded; my skin is too oily! I need the exfoliation! I then apply Ole Henriksen’s Truth Serum, which instantly brightens and illuminates my skin — it’s like turning on the lights. I wait a minute for that to settle in and then apply L’Occitane’s peony perfecting cream, which smells like heaven and leaves skin dewily moisturized, and Sunday Riley’s autocorrect eye cream. I usually shift gears and make the bed or chase after mini while I let the moisturizers absorb. Then I apply Laura Mercier’s tinted moisturizer — it balances out the skin but looks super natural, and it has SPF. If I need more coverage, I apply Shiseido’s wetforce sunscreen and then Too Faced’s Born This Way foundation. One non-negotiable for me nowadays is wearing sunscreen on my face every single minute of every single day. I’ve already noticed the permanent damage sun has had on my skin from youthful summers — shame on me! — and am determined to protect my skin and prevent additional sun spots and wrinkles from developing. (#ThisIs34.)

I should interject here and add that I almost always change into my thin cotton robe (on super sale!) or Eberjey rompers (also on super sale!) when getting ready in the morning. I know it’s an extra step to switch out of pajamas into some other intermediary outfit but I hate being hot or cold or sweaty while getting ready, and these are so comfortable and breathable.

Next — I always apply concealer under my undereyes and on any blemishes — my mom gave me a tube of YSL’s All Hours concealer and it’s very thin — almost liquid-like — but surprisingly opaque; I like that it blends easily but covers the deep black circles a year and a half of motherhood have left under my eyes. My other go-to is Cle de Peau’s concealer. I have tried legitimately every concealer out there and I believe that this is the absolute best. It’s sickeningly expensive but it lasts; I re-upped my supply a month ago and feel relieved to have it back in rotation. If I am taking my time, I’ll set the concealer with Laura Mercier’s secret brightening powder, but most of the time, I’m in a rush to extricate mini from a tangle of cords or prevent Tilly from eating my breakfast, which is sitting, cold, on the dining room table. If I’m in a real hurry, I’ll use concealer on my eyelids to even out the tone and call it a day, but if not, I’ll dot a little of Laura Mercier’s eye basics in linen on my lids, and that’s as far as I go in terms of the eye shadow situation. Next I’ll apply a brush of Guerlain’s bronzer onto my cheeks. A makeup artist recently told me not to layer blush over bronzer (it looks too overdone, in her opinion) but I still do it, and frequently — except for in the mornings, when I’m short on time. In the summer, I’ll just wear bronzer; in the winter, I’ll swipe on Bobbi Brown’s blush in Pale Pink. Both the Guerlain bronzer and Bobbi Brown blushes are value buys — they last forever. I swear to God I’ve had the same bronzer and same blush for over three years, and I wear one or the other — or both — daily. You do the math! They’re like self-renewing infinity magical unicorn powders.

Last, I layer on Chanel’s nourishing mascara base (this stuff has been selling out all over the place!) followed by Diorshow mascara. Mascara is my ultimate desert island beauty product — I feel naked without it and I love a heavy hand with it. One of my older cousins is absolutely stunning — like, the prettiest version of me imaginable — and was a model and beauty pageant queen in her teens. I always hung onto her every word when it came to beauty and self-care, and I remember her telling me, when I was twelve or thirteen: “And then I put on a ton of mascara. I like it extra-goopy.” I’ve followed suit ever since. I didn’t know I needed a mascara base until I tried Chanel’s formula, and I’m hooked forever. It sort of plumps and separates and thickens the lashes, and then you go in there with the Diorshow and it’s LIGHTS OUT. (That’s not the right superlative, but you get my point: DRAMA!) I’ve had three people ask me whether I wear false lashes in the last month, since starting this two-fold routine. The other trick? A makeup artist told me not to just swipe the mascara up through my lashes, but to wiggle it on back and forth from the root up. It really works in terms of separating all of the lashes so that you don’t wind up with clumpy stumpy lashes.

OK, that’s more than enough on lashes.

What else? Nowadays, I skip on the eyeliner because someone told me (sob!) that, on most people, wearing eyeliner after 30 years is aging! Gah! We can’t have that. But when I do wear it, this stuff is the absolute best; it dries matte! I also love RMS’ living luminizer when I’m looking a little dull and tired, but I often skip it in favor of time saving. But the final non-negotiables for daily wear? Glossier boy brow (it’s so easy to apply and it totally frames and finishes your face) and a swipe of Sugar lip balm in petal, which adds just enough color but moisturizes, too. (And I can apply it without a mirror.)

For hair: I wash it every other day and have been using Bumble and Bumble’s Thickening Shampoo and Conditioner. Both Mr. Magpie and I are obsessed with it. It smells clean (gender-neutral!), a little goes a long way, and it leaves hair full and soft. I then blow-dry it with the products I mentioned in detail here. (Brushes are a key ingredient!) I’m also a devotee of plain old Dove bar body soap. We buy it in bulk. It smells like my childhood and I like the way it makes my skin feel — squeaky clean. Afterward, I apply Fresh’s Hesperides body lotion (it smells like heaven) and Tata Harper’s body balm to my feet.

Every couple days, I apply either Tata Harper’s resurfacing face mask or Origins’ rose clay mask. But when I’m in a bind, I still swear by m61 powerglow peel pads. They are ridiculous. I like to use them before I’m heading out for a night — I’ll swipe one of these all over and it’s like, “new face who dis” when I look in the mirror.

Before bed, I take everything off using micellar water and then clean it with Tata’s cleanser. I apply Origins’ Night-A-Mins refining oil and cream. It could be a placebo effect, but I’m pretty sure my skin’s never looked brighter or younger than when I’ve followed this ritual religiously.

Man oh man, what it takes to care for this 34-year-old body! I wish I were one of those women who only wore aquaphor and mascara and cleansed her skin with cetaphil, but alas, I am not…

The only other additions I’m contemplating right now are this sulfur mask, as I occasionally break out along my jawline and that is not so cute at all, this illuminating moisture balm (love the nude/clear color), this instant confidence stick (a “magic eraser” for skin?! — so intriguing!), and this volumizing lip and cheek tint. I love anything that can do double duty.

What’s on your radar? Any other wunderproducts to share?

P.S. Most of these products are covered in more detail in this roundup, along with a couple of other additions/must-haves.

P.P.S. Also beautiful? THIS!!!!

P.P.P.S. I’ve had this question a couple of times: how do you keep your cosmetics organized? I use these cubes under my sink. (This is similar.) I keep my lipsticks in this. But if you don’t have the space for that kind of stuff, I was thinking that these — which I use to organize our paper/office supplies — could also be a good idea. Use one for skincare, one for face, one for lipsticks? Etc.

By: Jen Shoop

For eighteen years of my life, I used the terms “style” and “fashion” interchangeably. Then I met a gal named Meredith and understood the difference. I had arrived in Charlottesville around eleven on a still, humid morning in late August. Those of you who have had the privilege of attending UVA will know what I mean when I say the air was sticky-slurry-thick and stagnant, the torpid scuttling of cicadas and the occasional rumble of a pick-up or SUV down Rugby Road seemingly the only movement across Charlottesville’s verdant, rolling landscape. I turned onto Gordon Street and pulled up in front of 1535, a squat house with peeling paint fenced in by a low brick wall and a green gate that hung askew on its hinges. After parking, I hoisted the first of what would be dozens of loads of belongings over my shoulder and stepped through an overgrown front yard littered with the debris of decades of college students: two white plastic lawn chairs inverted, a silver bucket rusted over, a couple solo cups floating around in the bushes and grass, a large black trash bag overflowing with beer cans. I grimaced, imagining my parents’ reactions; they weren’t far behind. I thought for a second about hastily hiding the beer cans but the humidity got to me and I scampered into the house in search of reprieve. Inside, the house took on a different tenor: though the floors were worn and the fixtures ancient, the house was clearly the dwelling place of women: fresh coats of pastel paint had been applied to every room in the house; a new-looking, far-too-nice-for-college-kids Pottery Barn sofa graced the living room (the obvious donation of a kind and well-to-do parent) alongside a broad wood coffee table dotted with sorority cups, nail polish, and magazines — the telltale paraphernalia of a college-aged girl. The home was cool and tidy. As I prepared to ascend the stairs to my bedroom, the front door swung open.

“God DAMN it’s hot!” A petite brunette with a raspy Southern accent entered, barefoot, wearing a gauze-y white muumuu and an expression of exaggerated frustration. The outsized volume of her dress couldn’t obscure her diminutive femininity and unadorned prettiness: her delicate ankles, her fine facial features, her slender wrists. Her hair had been thrown on the top of her head in a hasty top-knot, and she hadn’t a lick of makeup on. “I’m Meredith.” She walked forward confidently, urgently, and held out her hand by way of introduction, smiling sweetly. We’d met — briefly — during the process of co-signing on this house with nine (yes, nine! Nine! NINE!) other girls, but we’d not formally spoken and I had only the vaguest of impressions of her and her thick Tennessee twang. In that moment, I could tell by the spark of mischief in her eye and her easily-read aura of alertness and percipience that she was what older generations might dub a “spark plug.”

“I’m Jen,” I replied. She nodded.

“Well, Jen–” she pronounced my name like “gin” — “Here’s to a year of living with way too many girls. Am I right?” I nodded, because it was all I could think to do. Her confidence, the way she threw her shoulders back, her scantily veiled derision at the prospect of living with so many other women struck me as mature beyond her years: she had a point of view. Meanwhile, how different — not bizarre, but discordant — her outfit looked in comparison to the UVA uniform those days, all Lilly Pulitzer and polo insignias and madras and pastel. I recalled, suddenly, that she’d asked to have her room painted a deep midnight blue, while the rest of us had skittered towards pale pinks and aquas and lavenders. Everything about her felt original, unfussy, distinctively her, and I remember thinking all at once how pathetically sheep-like I was, standing there in my sorority-issue Rainbow flip-flops and pinstripe sundress. I understood, in a flash, that she had style and I did not—yet.

I’ve never forgotten the way Meredith looked that day, or the unanticipated introspection her brisk appearance in that door jamb incited. Her image is nestled in my mind alongside the haze of an August in Charlottesville, almost always a thought-length — that is to say, a millisecond — away when I think about 1535 Gordon Street, affectionately dubbed “the Gordawn,” that house where I started dating and then broke up with my first serious boyfriend, where Mr. Magpie almost kissed me before we were officially together (the full, cinematic story of our courtship here), where I became best friends with my lifelong best friend B. (she is fiercely private, but can I eventually convince her to be featured as a woman of substance, I wonder? #gauntletthrown), where I climbed out onto the roof with my good friend A. and drank vodka-spiked slurpees and talked about boys and school and our deepest fears and ambitions (an ode to A. here)–in short, where I finally set out to become the woman I am now.

These days, I can see the difference between fashion and style a mile away, and it has far more to do with personality than label-mongering.

That said, I’ve never been able to break up with the image of a feisty, petite brunette casually and un-self-consciously wearing an oversized white dress, bare feet, and a top knot — and I don’t give a damn if it’s inorganic, but I’ll copycat that look until the cows come home.

Below, my favorite ways to get that muumuu look…and I use the term “muumuu” very loosely as a stand-in for any old white, voluminous, rather shapeless dress. (I couldn’t find the exact one the chic pea above is wearing, but I’m pretty confident it’s The Row.)

+Embroidered Innika Choo.

+Smocked collar situation.

+Tiered, voluminous cotton.

+Same idea — in mini form. (And under $40!)

+Similar idea — with a little more tailoring. (And from a label I’m OBSESSED with.)

+Madewell magic.

+Midi length cha cha cha, and the same concept, but a bit less dramatic and far more affordable.

Variations on a theme: this stripe-print, tiered black tie deliciousness, and rick-rack trimmed linen.

FINALLY: A $29 white sundress that is easy and flattering but a bit more tailored and approachable than the muumuu steez.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: The Inexpensive Belt Bag.

Those of you who follow me on Instagram know from this post that I idiotically left my tote bag in mini’s stroller while I was chasing after her in a splash pad in Central Park, and looked up just in time to see a shady man fishing around in it for my wallet. The thought of it still leaves me incensed — both at the audacity, the wrongness of it, and also at myself, for letting my guard down. (I’d never left my bag in the stroller before that day, but made an odd game time decision to assume the best of people in a playground.) I grabbed mini out of the water and stormed over to the stroller, eyes locked in on him — but was startled to find that while he did drop his hand from my bag and casually, slowly act as if he was messing with his shoes, he did not run away. As I approached him, something inside me said: I don’t know if you want to antagonize this man. You just never know. So I didn’t. Instead, I grabbed my belongings in a huff and stormed off to the opposite end of the playground. One of the creepier things I noticed is that he was holding a pair of children’s shoes in his hands — presumably because he had a child there, or maybe as a decoy? I don’t know whether I did the right thing or not; part of me wishes I’d made a scene so that other parents would have been on high alert, but I’ve also learned to trust my instincts, and there was just something odd and discomforting about the fact that he lingered even though he knew I’d seen him. Better to just move on?

At any rate. The incident left me hunting for a belt bag so that I can keep my credit card, phone, and key with me at all times, but leave mini’s gear in her stroller. Also — as evidenced by the chic pea above — they can look SERIOUSLY stylish. I had contemplated one of the high end Gucci ones for some time, but my sole purpose in purchasing a belt bag is so that I can wear it through sprinklers and while ice cream is dripping down mini’s arm and while I’m picking up Tilly’s poop. (#momlife). Probably not the best circumstances for a pricey bag. I need something rough and tumbly. I was very close to ordering this Clare Vivier style, but it still felt a little steep for what I was looking for, and then I found this sleek and simple Cuyana, but it’s sold out for a few weeks and only available in black (not my go-to color). And so it’s come down to one of three inexpensive styles:

+This stark white State Bags style, which would go with everything and has a kind of mod coolness to it.

+This floral brocade, which is more my style in general (patterns! pinks! florals!), but would not always “play well” with whatever I’m wearing.

+This $18 (!!!!) palm leaf print style, which is almost too well-priced and fun to pass up. Would look so cute with white jeans and a white button down, or a breezy white dress. Still…same problem with choice #2.

I just can’t make up my mind. Magpies, please weigh in! I’m hellbent on buying one of these three in the next week or so…

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Striped Sundress.

The most popular items on Le Blog this week:

+This dress continues to be THE dress everyone wants to be wearing RN.

+Followed by this as a close second. I get it. Both have the same easy boho breeziness I want to channel once the thermometer reads over 80 degrees.

+The top shoe on my lust list for my 34th year of life. (See my resolutions and full wishlist here.)

+A seriously lifechanging way to spend $20. (Mr. Magpie uses it daily.)

+Frothy prettiness for a summer wedding.

+Super chic flats for a great price (I am getting them in pink!)

+Very into this scent! Cannot stop smelling my hands!

+The chicest accessory for your backyard.

+Easy breezy beautiful.

+We all need one of these.

#Turbothot: The Dissect Podcast.

At the suggestion of one of my smart Magpie readers, I have been listening to a podcast series called Dissect, which selects one album each season and “analyzes one song per episode, measure by measure, word by word.” I’m listening to the season on Kanye West’s album “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” after the lyrics for his song “Violent Crimes” from his most recent album caught me off guard with their vulnerability and specificity. I’m bowled over by the quality of the podcast’s analysis and the depth of the album itself; I’ve always thought Kanye had a unique voice, an incredible ear for catchy new styles and beats that seem to push the envelope and challenge the “ambient sound” that defines pop at any given moment (his assimilation of folktronica, electronica, synthesized sounds, etc has shaped a lot of contemporary music in my admittedly ill-informed and unstudied opinion), and extremely witty lyrics, but I’d never fully afforded him the respect he deserves because of his jarring personality and bizarre antics. (And, at a certain point, the overplay of hits like “Gold Digger” drained it of any artistic merit for me by brute force of repetition.) The strength of his artistry neither atones for nor obviates his behavior, but it certainly changes the way I think about him and his music.

The podcast deals in a language familiar to me: that of the literary critic. It is a close textual reading that examines each word play and reference, but with the added layer of musical analysis. I’m learning a lot about music and music theory (tonic chords vs dominant chords, what what!), but it’s not overwrought or daunting; it’s delivered in a legible-to-the-lay-person style, and eschews any airs of snobbiness or academia. At some points, the analysis feels a little far-fetched (there was a long-winded attempt at connecting a particular lyric to the historical figure of Louis XVI that felt flabby, for example), but it makes me think — and carefully.

Strongly recommend if you’re looking for something a little outside your normal lane.

#Shopaholic: The Org Hack.

+I would love to re-organize my sock/underwear drawer with these.

+Veronica Beard is having an incredible sale, and there’s a big part of me that wants to channel my friend Inslee’s style (if you know her, you’ll know she has an ultra chic uniform that involves tailored olive green cargo pants and striped tees): I want a pair of these, this button-shouldered tee, and this shirt-dress. Also: not so much Inslee’s style, but I am dying over this heavily-discounted asymmetric blouse! SO CHIC.

+Also, all of Inslee’s artwork is incredible. I loveeee this oyster print!

+If there is only one thing you take away from this post: this denim romper. On sale for under $50 plus an additional 40% off. DONE DONE DONE. The perfect one-piece outfit for a pulled-together but comfortable look whether you’re a mom on the go or a weekend warrior. I’ll wear mine with these slides to elevate the look.

+How cute are these for a backyard soiree?

+I wish I had this to throw in my suitcase for our vacation this week. I can imagine wanting to wear it constantly while barefoot in the backyard / running out to the beach / cooking dinner…so comfortable.

+Mr. Magpie had a Brio train set growing up — how adorable! I love that they still look the same.

+OK, these are super fun.

+I love this skirted ottoman — the prettiest shade, the most impractical fabric…sigh.

+This dress! $35! LOVE! Kind of nails that Aquazzura for De Gournay vibe!

By: Jen Shoop

When I think about Sunday mornings, I think about realizing I’m still in my pajamas at 10:48 or 11:22. About coffee mugs scattered around a coffee table, newspapers and magazines laying open alongside them, in disuse, awaiting their reader’s return. About a plate dusted with a couple of flakes of buttery croissant and a smudge of jam — all that remain from an earlier breakfast. About an abandoned pair of sandals at the door, next to a bag of farmer’s market goodies: a bundle of parsley, a block of cheese, a baton of bread, a pint of cherries. I think about Miles Davis on the stereo, about the hum of the air conditioner, about birdsong coming in through an open window. I think about a breakfast nook illuminated with the sun; no incandescent light needed.

I think, in other words, of Sundays from my past, of Sundays in D.C. and Charlottesville and most especially in Chicago, in our beloved home on Superior Street. (Thinking about that sweet house, I had to take a minute and re-read some of my earlier writings on it. I love this one, on the eve of our move to New York; it’s tone feels like a lump in my throat. I also remember the angst and frustration of this post about our moving woes, appropriately titled: “Grouchy,” and this corollary. And then there’s this one, written the day we sold our house, and it still smarts.)

Those Sundays no longer exist; they’ve been replaced by a far different pace of life, by an earlier Church time, by motherhood and its joys and demands.

In other words, Sunday mornings used to be “easy like Sunday morning.” Now they’re one of my more frenzied segments of the week, as I’m always rushing to feed, dress, and corral mini and sufficiently preen myself so that we can get out the door by 8:15 for 8:30 Mass up the street — and Mass is no cakewalk either. Now that mini is mobile and voluble, the notion of sitting still, and silently, on a wooden bench, while people chant, sit, and kneel around her in what I’m sure must appear to her a bizarre pattern of movement and stillness, stops-and-gos, silence and sound, defies all toddler logic — and so after mini has plowed through the books and toys and snacks I have packed her, we spend the majority of Church in the narrow vestibule, running from the west end to the east end together. There is a small chapel off the vestibule lined with statues of saints, and one such, mini proudly declared with a pointed finger, looks like “muh-nana” (Moana). As she insistently made this observation, I grinned sheepishly at the other parent lingering in the vestibule along with us — a young dad and his rowdy toddler son — and he just shrugged, and I’m not sure why. (“My kids watch Moana too?” “Kids say the darnedest things?” “It’s OK that she’s comparing a sacred statue to a Disney character?” “I’m too tired to think about this?”) As I mused over his cryptic response, my thoughts bouncing from mini to Moana to this man at the back of the Church, I realized with a jolt that I was entirely tuned out of the actual Mass taking place beyond a couple sets of double doors three feet to my right.

In college, a friend of mine said that even when she’s too distracted to dial in on the readings or the sermon, she enjoys going to Church because it gives her time to sit and think. I pushed back at the time: “I get what you’re saying, but it’s not meant to be about us,” I objected, earnestly, unconvinced that Church time should be used for anything but its intended purpose, which is — which is, what? (At one point, on the eve of my Confirmation, I had a memorized answer to this.) Now, I’d say — to praise God, to give thanks, to take in the lessons of the Gospel, to receive the sacrament of Communion. In other words, not to sit and dwell on myself. In months and years past, even when my mind wanders, I find myself disciplining it back into action: “Focus, focus.” At the time, my friend politely batted away my rebuttal and changed the conversation, and we went our separate ways.

These days, spending time in the rear of the Church, separate from the congregation, about a mile from the priest, and often entirely absorbed in prying mini’s fingers from the delicately carved wooden, Moana-like statue or guarding her from the beckon of the stone steps leading out onto 71st St, I must admit that I’ve asked myself whether what I’m doing “counts” as going to Mass. I’ll occasionally conjure some sort of “it’s the thought that counts” reasoning, or a vague “but I want her to remember coming here as a ritual of her childhood” logic — but these entirely miss the point of whether or not I am absorbing what I’m meant to absorb as the practicing Catholic in our family. I occasionally think about leaving mini at home with Mr. Magpie on Sundays so that I can be more present, but then I think about all of the millions of parents around the world who get by with their children at their side, and the promise I took when Baptizing her, and I’m determined to make it work. And so I tune in as best I can, straining for just one piece of the Mass to stand out to me — just one word, one thought, one observation that I can pocket and take with me for the rest of the week. Most weeks, to be entirely up front, I fail at this intention, and I leave in a kind of inglorious fog of victory and relief. But I am always determined, at the dawn of a new weekend, like this one spread out in front of us, to do better.

Meanwhile, some things that are easy like Sunday mornings used to be: a slew of very pretty, easy-to wear, cool and breezy dresses…and I want them all, starting with…

This striped dress, which I just ordered at the last minute for our Hamptons’ vacation next week.

It reminded me of this beauty, which was just restocked, and is easily the most popular dress I’ve ever featured on my blog. Ever.

This pretty strappy number.

This chambray style is super sweet.

I love the timeless look of this button-down linen dress, which has a kind of unassuming prettiness to it that speaks to me. Or up the ante with a striped variation.

With white jeans, this classic-with-a-twist blouse is super chic. Bonus: it looks like it could be Caroline Constas, but it’s under $30 with the current promotion running.

Speaking of striped shirting: this dress is a must.

I love safari jackets for a kind of boyish down-to-earthness when balancing out something more ladylike — this stripe and this khaki are my favorite colorways. I’d wear either/both with white jeans and a white eyelet top.

Gingham supergas, on sale!

Midi skirts are always so fetchingly ladylike. I love this colorblocked style and this whisper pink bow-sash version.

This looks like a Mara Hoffman, but costs less than $100!

Finally, for bedtime: these darling floral jammies and for beachtime: this adorable gingham one-piece ($20!!!). (And speaking of the beach, if you passed on the brand-less French market bags I’ve been swooning over in search of something with a little more oomph to it, I’ve got you covered.

P.S. Lilly for American Girl dolls?!?!?!?!?!?!?

By: Jen Shoop

We head to the Hamptons in a few days and I have been doing a lot of frantic last-minute ordering for beach gear so that I’m ready to go. My favorite find? This Gap swimsuit, which looks a lot like the pricier Minnow Swim one-pieces I’ve been eyeing for awhile, along with some of the other adorable finds below. (I also love this gingham one-piece and I think I might order this style for when she’s a little older! PRECIOUS!)

(click images to be taken to product details, or see list below!)

+Gap ruffle one-piece

+Baby Supergas! I’ve also heard great things about Cienta shoes — I love these and how festive would these (on super sale!) be for the FOJ?

+Parker Thatch Canvas Tote

+Dock and Bay Towel — these are super thin (and therefore compact) but highly absorbent

+Bow — obv. BTW, I recently snagged this monogrammed bow organizer for mini! It’s TOO adorable!

+Cover-up. I already have this one for mini, which is adorable and cozy for her — but I really want that TBBC one with the side-ties, too!

+Sand toys

+Flap Happy Beach Hat — people rave about these UPF 50 sunhats! I’m not normally a huge fan of the bucket style on babies (mini almost always wears more of a bonnet hat), but the colors and prints and the apparent quality of a Flap Happy hat has me convinced! (Hanna Andersson also makes a similar style in bright colors.)

+Hamptons Pop Up Beach Tent — I spent a lot of time comparing the dozens and dozens of similar-looking styles on Amazon, and this one seemed to receive the best reviews without the most common complaint I saw elsewhere: that the tent was difficult to fold up and collapse. So, I went with it! Stay tuned for a full report, but I thought this would be super handy to have to keep mini out of the sun / let her snooze on the beach. I contemplated splurging on this pop-up tent (big enough for the whole fam!) but realized I was getting a litttttle out of control.

Finally, not shown above, I bought this duo of insect repellant and sunscreen, which I keep in her stroller at all times. I’ve also heard really good things about these swim diapers, but I’d already stocked up on a couple from Primary. I like the Primary ones but they’re a bit thin IMHO — I haven’t had any issues with them but they strike me as just another layer of swimsuit?

P.S. More Fourth of July clothing options here, and rashguards here.

P.P.S. A complete guide to my favorite travel gear for babies here. New must-have? These. The source of hours of quiet entertainment for mini…!

P.P.P.S. Mini adores Winnie the Pooh right now, and this book is absolutely her favorite thing on the planet. The textures are interesting — there’s even a “sticky” page for the honeypot!

By: Jen Shoop

A couple of months ago, I came across a line of elegant straw handbags and hats by Pamela Munson that so deeply spoke to my aesthetic, I had to reach out to the founder — and I’m so glad I did. Pamela is the type of woman we need more of in this world: she is gracious, warm, enterprising, smart, and conscientious. I am thrilled to feature her as this month’s woman of substance.

I was thoroughly impressed by Pamela from the get-go, but then I learned that she earned a B.A. in English Literature as an undergrad, and I thought — OK, things have elevated to full-on girl crush. (Maybe we can convince her to join our book club?) After graduating from NYU, Pam established a career of sterling professional pedigree, working for ennobled fashion houses Chanel and Oscar de la Renta as well as the one and only Bergdorf Goodman. Then, inspired by the straw accessories her mother and grandmother wore when she was a child, Pam bravely and smartly set out to launch her own handbag collection. Each of her bags is designed here in New York and then handmade using straw — a natural and sustainable material — in a style she describes as striking “a modern balance between strength and femininity.” As the proud owner of a Charlotte clutch, I can personally attest to the quality and style of her pieces. (I have been wearing mine constantly — just big enough for a cell phone, card case, keys, and lipstick.) I had the honor of asking her a couple of questions, and her intelligence and thoughtfulness shine through — especially in her reflections on the progress women have made in terms of career opportunities over the last few decades — and I know you’ll enjoy getting to know her better below.

You can support and follow Pam by checking out her online boutique (also carried here!), following her on Instagram, and reading her responses to my Proust Questionnaire Redux below.

Your favorite qualities in a woman.

Authenticity, a strong work ethic, and kindness.

Your favorite heroine.

My mother is my heroine and my dad my hero. Close to 20 years ago, my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and he has battled the illness with grace and courage. I have never once heard him complain. As earth shattering as it is to cope with a chronic condition, it is incredibly grueling to be the caregiver and remain positive and patient. My mother, who has a successful career as an educator, somehow balances life at home and work in between doctor appointments. Making the best of a situation you did not choose is admirable; she finds strength and is able to find beauty in it all.

Your main fault.

I’m very critical of myself.

Your greatest strength.

I’ve always been a dreamer — but a determined one. This combination led me to start my own business. I’m enjoying the dance between the creative and analytical.

Your idea of happiness.

Saturday morning breakfast with my husband and children. An iced cappuccino and pastries and the promise of the weekend ahead. Maison Kaiser is my favorite spot at the moment and probably the reason why I haven’t lost all the baby weight from my second child.

Your idea of misery.

Hopelessness and a stomach bug!

Currently at the top of your shopping lust list.

An Aurelia Demark pendant. For someone who adores jewelry as much as I do, I still need to commemorate my daughters’ births with a special bauble. I’m also loving the beautiful Lisa Marie Fernandez polka dot and smocked bathing suits, as well as Tabitha Simmons Cleo flats (now on sale!). An Innika Choo Oliver Daily Blouse would be perfect with white capris or jeans. I love summer shopping so I could go on and on.

Desert island beauty product.

Aquaphor and Cle de Peau concealer. I’m very low maintenance when it comes to make up: less is more.

Last thing you bought.

Navy gingham Tretorns at Bergdorfs (more colors and sizes here). They are truly the most comfortable shoe. My mother and grandmother wore them years ago (and still do!), I did in junior high, and now they’re back again. I love the comfort with the retro feel.

I feel most empowered wearing…

Heels! There is something about the elevation. With my own business, day to day you’ll generally find me in flats, but for business meetings or evenings out, I turn to heels. Manolo Blahnik, Aquazurra, and Roger Vivier make the most beautiful shoes.

Favorite Magpie post.

I particularly liked your recent post entitled, ‘The Elegant but Lopsided Dance of Motherhood’ –- so eloquently put and completely relatable. With my own experience, I had certain expectations of how motherhood would be and it was an adjustment for me to align with the reality.

You have such a gift for writing and connecting with the most interesting women, all with different paths and purpose. I love your Women of Substance series. It’s amazing to see how many unique roles there are for women today. I feel very fortunate to be able to work and have a family. Choice is progress and a luxury.

Some Pam Munson Inspired Shopping Picks…

Click images to access details, or see links below!

Lisa Marie Fernandez Smocked Bikini

Gingham Tretorns (on sale!)

Pamela Munson Charlotte Clutch

Cecilie Bahnsen Top

Manolo Blahnik Heels

Illesteva Cat-Eyes (the style is named “The Pamela”!)

Smocked Top (only $50!)

Rebecca de Ravenel Seashell Earrings

Cle de Peau Undereye Concealer

Throw Pillow in Quadrille Lyford Fabric

J. Crew Sundress

It’s Messy by Amanda de Cadenet

Minnow Swim Girl’s One-Piece

Baby Girl Bow Sandals

Pamela Munson Isla Bahia Petite Basket Bag

Off-the-Shoulder Blouse (on sale for $21?!)

Mara Hoffman Wide-Leg Trousers

Aquaphor

P.S. It was hard to “shop” for Pam because there were so many things that reminded me of her aesthetic (very similar to mine, I think) — I also loved these elegant and on sale pajamas, this classic white dress, and this Mara Hoffman stunner. And for a splurge? OMG. Something tells me her daughters might be seen in something like these, too.

P.P.S. All of Pam’s pieces make me want to take a long beach vacation accompanied by one of my favorite beach reads. Or maybe the latest Hilderbrand…

P.P.P.S. Firsts and lasts.

By: Jen Shoop

Sorry this post went live so late!

So first — our next synchronous book club meeting will be Tuesday, July 10th, at 7 PM! There will be a live group of us meeting to discuss in Central Park here in NYC, and a second group meeting in Volta Park in D.C. If you want to be on the list for future in-person convenings, let me know at jennifer@thefashionmagpie.com. Alternately, please read along and share your thoughts via the comments section or in your own little pod of magpies! As a reminder, we are reading Lauren Groff’s Florida, and I will circulate reading questions in another week or two. You probably know Groff’s name from her wildly successful first book, Fates + Furies, the scope and depth of which still lingers with me nearly two years after reading it.

Second — what I’ve been reading lately!

Book Review: Ruth Ware’s The Death of Mrs. Westaway

Four stars! I have a soft spot for creepy thrillers — I suppose it hearkens back to my childhood predilection for Agatha Christies, Nancy Drews, Boxcar Children, etc. — so I instantly gravitated toward this one by veteran suspense author Ruth Ware. The book had a slow start and the heroine was cloyingly sputtering and swoon-y, but it did not disappoint. There are some scholars who contend that The Gothic is a mode of writing rather than a signifier of a time period, and I would agree after reading this book, which felt thoroughly Gothic to me in its incarnation of space (the central “space” in Mrs. Westaway is an old, decaying mansion and — even better — an isolated old bedchamber to which the heroine is confined with locks on the outside of the door!), its anxieties, even its mirrorings/doublings (twins, plot recursions and symmetries, etc). Further, much of Gothic literature explores, subverts, or otherwise interrogates primogeniture and patrilineal inheritance as a principal theme — and this book drives squarely in that lane, posing questions of family, identity, ownership, and property, though this time — and the title of the book should stand as a clue — with a determined focus on the female and specifically maternal relationships within the novel. Spoiler alert (close your eyes if you want to be surprised): I especially appreciated the overall plot arc, where the absence of a mother sends a down-and-out Hal in search of fortune, and she not only finds financial stability but three mothers (Maud, Maggie, and her surrogate mother at the end, Mitzi; even the triplet M names were a thoughtful touch!) I loved this twist on convention, where the restoration of strong female relationships returns the story to a comfortable denouement; romantic or paternal ones are largely out of the picture. Further, the novel deftly examined the age-old friction between fate and personal agency, which Ware called into focus with particular emphasis through Hal’s profession as a fortune teller. (This theme felt a propos of some of my more recent musings, too.) All-in, this was a carefully crafted novel, and I felt its timelessness lent credulity to some of the book’s “old school” themes and personas (i.e., the sinister, Mrs. Danvers-esque housekeeper); some of Ware’s other books feel more obviously contemporary, and while certain markers (cell phones, cars, etc) reminded us that this story takes place in the here-and-now, its ethos and even much of its plot feel decidedly outside of time.

Book Review: Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife

3.5 stars. (Fine, I’m going to start permitting half stars — I used to be stickler, forcing myself to round up or down to a whole number because going halvesies is sort of like not picking a side. But half stars are sometimes so needed!) American Wife is Sittenfeld’s fictionalization of Laura Bush’s life. Apparently, Sittenfeld read that Bush was in a car accident as a teen in which the other driver was killed, and spun this entire fictional account out of it — and though many details have been changed (i.e., this story is about a wealthy conservative family from Wisconsin rather than Texas), there are some obvious parallels (9/11, etc.) that make it nearly impossible not to imagine Laura and George as the focal point of the story. There are three simultaneous and proportional reactions I had:

Wow — outstandingly impressive breadth of detail! Sittenfeld writes this as if it were her own diary; she fully inhabits the protagonist, and the sheer aggregation of minute details read more like memoir than fiction. I am gobsmacked by her creativity and specificity; the characters were complex and well-drawn in a way that afforded the book an earnestness, a truth-to-life, and often left me forgetting that I was reading fiction! I particularly felt that the protagonist’s internal negotiations with regards to her commitment to her family, her marriage, and her friendships were believable and relatable.
Way too long. It took me weeks to get through this; huge portions of it dragged, especially the last third of the book, where Sittenfeld seems to entirely drop her narrative style in favor of more general reflections/observations on the protagonist’s role as first lady. Snooze. I found this part to be far less interesting than the first two thirds.
Of questionable ethics. Sittenfeld’s borrowing of certain details from Bush’s real life and her fictionalization of others left a sour taste in my mouth, as I have found myself assuming certain bits of the book to be true when they most likely are not, and — against my best attempts — the book has permanently shaped my perception of the Bush family. I wondered whether Sittenfeld was criticized for this, or even charged with character assassination? I suppose any fictional author has the license to write whatever he or she wishes, but when you are a best-selling author writing about a highly contentious president and his wife, I wonder whether…it just feels questionable to me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was reading some sort of illicit/voyeuristic fan fiction, and it left me in an odd state of mind.

Next Up: Lauren Groff’s Florida

+Currently reading Lauren Groff’s Florida — another collection of short fiction! I promise not all of the Magpie book club picks will be short stories (though you should definitely read last month’s if you haven’t yet — it’s amazing!)

+For another book club, I will be reading Hans Rosling’s Factfulness. Mr. Magpie has been raving about it. Apparently Bill Gates found it to influential that he gifted a copy to every single 2018 college graduate (every single one! think about that!) See if its book jacket tickles your fancy: “When asked simple questions about global trends—what percentage of the world’s population live in poverty; why the world’s population is increasing; how many girls finish school—we systematically get the answers wrong. So wrong that a chimpanzee choosing answers at random will consistently outguess teachers, journalists, Nobel laureates, and investment bankers. Factfulness…offers a radical new explanation of why this happens. They reveal the ten instincts that distort our perspective—from our tendency to divide the world into two camps (usually some version of us and them) to the way we consume media (where fear rules) to how we perceive progress (believing that most things are getting worse).” I timely read, I think, in the face of “fake news” and all that jazz!

+For fun: When Life Gives You Lululemons by Lauren Weisberger, author of Devil Wears Prada. It’s getting good reviews and looks like a perfect beach read (especially if I can finish most/all of the books above prior to my trip next week!)

Post-Script.

+One of my longtime readers asked whether I was ever able to find a backpack I loved that I could use as a diaper bag. The answer is — no! I’m still looking for something, and therefore still awkwardly tangling my way through subway turnstiles. I have been super picky about this. However, I might go for something super simple and unfussy like this.

+Several of you asked what I ended up wearing for my birthday! I had gone through a quadrillion options (some great picks here), but when a shopping trip with my sister left me empty-handed and then this Gul dress I ordered did not fit (something weird about the boob area on that dress), I decided to shop my own closet and ended up wearing a tiered white Self-Portrait maxi from a couple seasons back that looks a lot like this with my go-to evening sandals and my favorite floral earrings. During the day, I wore a white DVF shirtdress from a couple seasons back similar to this and my new floral slides.

+Speaking of shirtdresses, this is right up my alley!

+Two of my favorite birthday gifts? A set of these and a pair of these. One advantage to having a blog is that my family knows EXACTLY what I want 🙂

+I think I might line my dresser drawers with these. I love the patterns they come in!

+Meanwhile, for those of us short on space and storage solutions, I ordered two of these for some overflow bulky sweaters that just won’t fit anywhere else.

+Great gear for tiny apartments.

+Some of my other favorite Amazon purchases.

+There’s a great Neiman’s sale raging, with incredible prices on designer dresses — like this one!

+Super pretty iphone case. It reminds me of my mom!

+Are you a crier?

By: Jen Shoop

Today, I turn thirty four.

I sat down to write about what I’ve learned now that I am in my mid-thirties, to collect my thoughts going into this new year. I wanted to begin with something pithy — something along the lines of: “It’s true what they say: your 20s are about x, and your 30s are about y.” I scrolled through some of my more flippant reflections on “adulting” looking for inspiration. I even pecked out some questionable google searches: “quotes about yours 30s” and “difference between your 20s and 30s” in pursuit of some sort of hook, a kind of divining rod to help me discipline my thoughts into some semblance of linearity. Then I realized I was grasping at straws, because the truth is this: I am still much more unclear on my personal narrative than I thought I’d be at this age. I am now thirty-four, and while I’ve gotten better at living in the in-betweens, accommodating the unknowns, I still routinely wonder about the future: I can just as easily imagine myself living in Manhattan and raising mini here for the next ten or fifteen years as I can moving back to D.C. or settling in rural Virginia (a recalcitrant pipe dream of mine and Mr. Magpie’s when we are particularly world-weary). I can envision continuing in this blessed hybrid writer-stay-at-home-mom seat for the foreseeable future, or I can see myself one day shuttling back into the workforce for the right job. Will I be the mother to an only child, or will I bear the blessing of many? Will the writing of this blog lead to other kinds of writing, other productions, or will I remain in this happy lane?

I wrote the paragraph above, sat back in my white writing chair, and mused over it, noticing all at once the telling shift in grammar halfway through my run-down of possible alternate realities for my future: declaratives versus interrogatives. A revelation via punctuation mark: in my mid-thirties, I’m straddling two entirely plausible interpretations of the life I’ve lead thus far, and the one I’ll lead in the future–one the one hand, I view it as shaped by my own exertions and intentions, and on the other, handed to me by fate.

In my 20s, I felt I could do anything I set my mind to, and my jagged professional life stands as a testament to that unbridled ambition: a short-lived career in a hyper-boring (to me) off-shoot of government consulting; an advanced degree and aspirations for academia; then six years in the non-profit world, where I worked my way from consultant to executive director to chief innovation officer. As I dove into my my early 30s, I hubristically believed that I could continue hopscotching from one lane to the next, reimagining myself and re-braiding the story I told about my life as I went — and so I took an enormous leap and built a new business in the HR technology space.

Something happened around the building and running of that business, some health issues I struggled through, and the nearly simultaneous birth of minimagpie that led me to learn I had far less control than I had previously thought. I felt as though I was continuously bumping into, tangled up with, standing with my shoulder against forces much greater than I. Gone was my blind faith in the “when you wish upon a star” narrative, and so too the Thomas Jefferson corollary about success being 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Because I hadn’t been solely a dreamer — I’d been flat out slogging my way through things, and I still ended up shuttering our business. The only way for me to understand what happened in my early 30s was by renegotiating my understanding of the relationship between fate and personal agency — and those negotiations remain pending. And this is not to say that I feel I was dealt an ultra-tough hand or that life hasn’t afforded me many blessings; in fact, many of the unexpected happenings of the last few years have been happy ones. But there has been a reckoning, a change in the way I understand the way life unfolds. I’m not so forlorn or fatalistic as to say that I don’t think I exert some level of control over my life, and I especially believe I am able to shape my interactions with and relationships to others. But the bigger things? Like moving to New York or closing our business or writing this blog? I have come to see that these things are shaped — formed, even — by something much greater than my own intentions, much further out of my ken or reach. I choose to believe that that “greater thing” is God, but even still, I occasionally find myself groping for other, closer-in, more legible explanations — economic forces, social ones, environmental ones even — that might inform the way my life has played out thus far.

It’s funny to step back and think about myself and my own perception of my agency over time. In my 20s, I didn’t quite know who I was, but I believed I could do or be anything; I was amorphous, evolving — but the world around me felt crisp, knowable, navigable. In my 30s, I know who I am with a kind of true blue certainty (I am somebody!!!), but feel less convinced of my agency, less confident in my grasp on the world. It’s as if I went from being far-sighted to near-sighted; I I didn’t know what I didn’t know in my 20s, and now I know what I don’t know — and so my conviction in the shape of things has shifted, shrunk, concentrated in on only the small world around me, the narrow sphere in which I know that 1+1=2. The mathematics beyond skew.

Is this what happens to every woman in her 30s? The cultivation of a sort of inward quiet paired with a humbled, irresolute perspective on the broader sweep of life? Or is this the result of an idiosyncratic tumble of experiences that will gradually erode into a hardened sense for the ways of the world?

Either way, I can say this: my post yesterday notwithstanding, I do find it easier to stand still nowadays and take in what I have in front of me without the angst or anxiety or urgency I felt in my 20s for the next thing. I have faith that things will work out, though often not within the confines of my narrow intentions or visions. Friends ask us all the time what we plan to do in the future — will we move to the suburbs of New York City? Brooklyn? Will we buy or rent? Will we sell our car or keep it? Will we relocate to D.C.? Are we serious about our love of rural Virginia? What will we do about school for mini if we stay in Manhattan? Will I go back to work once mini is enrolled? To all of these things, I say I don’t know. I don’t know! I don’t know. And maybe it’s the fact that my former assurance in the order of things has dissolved and with it my frenetic energy worrying about how to order things just right — but there is a kind of shrugging peace that washes over me when I say: I don’t know, and that’s OK.

My Resolutions for My Thirty-Fourth Year…

Take in more museums. (The picture at the top is a gesture to that.) Even when the exhibits upset or baffle me, they’re worth the cognitive dissonance.

Break curfew more often.

Make more time to read.

Get back into some rhythm of exercise.

Focus on the present.

Switch off my phone more frequently.

Go easier on myself.

Write a first draft of my book.

Know that if the only thing I accomplish in a day is ensuring that mini and Mr. Magpie feel loved and cared for, I have succeeded.

My Wishlist for My Thirty-Fourth Year…*

TDF shoes: these Chanel slides or these Aquazzura mules.

A stunning black tie dress.

A pair of Illesteva bocas.

A Bottega Veneta evening clutch.

A bunch of fluffy white Yves Delorme towels.

A polka dot maxi.

Cle de Peau undereye concealer.

*More like — the-rest-of-my-thirties wishlist. At the top of THAT wishlist, though? A Peekaboo. More practical: a belt bag or backpack.

P.S. When I turned 33…

P.P.S. My latest Amazon order included this for our trip to the beach (a perfect day in the making) and this for our laundry (a reorder — I’ve been using it for the past month and loving it!).

P.P.P.S. These are going to be my birthday gift to myself. 70% OFF!!!!

And for minis…

My Latest Snag: The Inexpensive Belt Bag.

#Turbothot: The Dissect Podcast.

Some Pam Munson Inspired Shopping Picks…

Book Review: Ruth Ware’s The Death of Mrs. Westaway

Book Review: Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife

Next Up: Lauren Groff’s Florida

Post-Script.

My Resolutions for My Thirty-Fourth Year…

My Wishlist for My Thirty-Fourth Year…*

Newsletter

Stay Up To Date

Musings + Essays

Fashion Trends

Book Club

Motherhood

And for minis…

My Latest Snag: The Inexpensive Belt Bag.

#Turbothot: The Dissect Podcast.

Some Pam Munson Inspired Shopping Picks…

Book Review: Ruth Ware’s The Death of Mrs. Westaway

Book Review: Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife

Next Up: Lauren Groff’s Florida

Post-Script.

My Resolutions for My Thirty-Fourth Year…

My Wishlist for My Thirty-Fourth Year…*

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