Jen Shoop, Author at Magpie by Jen Shoop

By: Jen Shoop

I so thoroughly enjoy receiving emails and direct messages from you (P.S. — I’ve started a new Instagram handle, @thefashionmagpie, that features more shopping finds and more musings if you care to follow along) and thought I’d share a couple of recent exchanges here…

Q: I was invited to a black tie Havana Nights party. I already ordered the one shoulder Topshop dress and I am OBSESSED! I think that could work? Let me know if you come across anything else. It is at a fancy old school country club…

A: I think that’s the perfect dress! It’s hard to tell with black tie what you’re supposed to wear as a woman — you no longer need to wear floor length, so you can get away with a lot. I think your cocktail dress pick is perfection, especially since 80s are so IN for evening wear! I feel like everyone else will be wearing red (right? Havana Nights?) and you’ll stand out with that dramatic shoulder situation. The only other thing that came to mind was Sachin & Babi; Outnet has a bunch of their pieces on sale and they are very CHA CHA CHA — sort of Johanna Ortiz-esque, like this one. (Also, Johanna Ortiz would be the perfect label for this event, though her pieces are very expensive. Something like this would be right on the money).

Q: I’m looking for a wall-mounted light fixture for the wide entryway in our home. I’d like it to project a lot of light since the space is so big but am debating between something more traditional or more artsy. Any recommendations?

A: I like this one because of its large dimensions and it has a good balance of tradition and modernity to it. I know you said your main concern is projecting a lot of light but I also LOVE this one — not sure if the shade will make it too dim for your taste, but it feels so finished and elegant. The texture that the shade introduces would also make the room feel finished. This is pricey but how cool?! I love that it comes in different colors to add some interest to an area that is typically otherwise unremarkable. (The green!) I’m guessing this is just way too funky/modern, but see below image of a similar style in a traditional setting, and it looks amazing.

Q: I’m currently in the market for a bowtie for my beau. We went to a wedding recently and he borrowed a really nice artistic/hipster bowtie from a friend. It was dark brown and had a bunny print on it. While he was reluctant to wear it at first since it was his first time wearing a bowtie, he got a million compliments and loved it by the end of the night. I’d like to get him a bowtie for his birthday next month, and I’m having trouble finding a nice one. Do you have any bowtie brand recommendations that I could check out? I’m getting a little lost in the zillion options on Etsy.

A: My first thought was Vineyard Vines — they are classic and have fun animal prints. Mr. Magpie owns this crab tie as a nod to his Mid-Atlantic roots and deep and abiding passion for bluecrabs. Something like this is a bit more subdued but still has a fun print to it. VV might be a little bit preppy based on what you described, though (not sure!), so a few other thoughts —

My favorite men’s clothing store for gifts is Paul Stuart. They have the most elegant, timeless pieces and I’ve bought many special items for Mr. Magpie there. Check out their selection, though they are a little pricier.

This one is on sale though and has a similar vibe to the one you described — darker/more fall appropriate colors and a small animal print. Super handsome!

Finally, these ones from High Cotton are on the more “hipster” side of the spectrum and might be right up his alley. Maybe this one with the mallards or this one with the flies, depending on his interests?

Q: Hey! I am in need of a dress for myself for my daughter’s baptism at the end of the month. I live in the South, so it will probably still be hot here. I love your taste! You have a knack for picking pretty outfits that are perfect for the occasion. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thank you!

A: This was a fun challenge. I’m including a bunch of options I would consider, at a range of price points:

+I just ordered this polka dot lovely from Zara, and think it would look elegant with some simple black pumps for the occasion. It looks like the designer Alexandra Rich!

+This fit and flare knit dress is pulled-together and chic, especially with pointed-toe flats.

+Another traditional option: this pleated skirt with a white cotton crewneck sweater or white button down blouse.

+I love the shape and button detailing on this navy or white Tibi.

For some reason I felt I needed to wear a white dress to my daughter’s Baptism (it was summer, though) — if you feel similarly compelled, I love this (under $130!) or this in chic, creamy off-white.

Q: My friend has been trying to get pregnant for years and is finally through the first trimester. Is there any gift I can give her?

A: So sweet of you. My go-to gift for moms to be is Clarins body tonic oil. I slathered it on religiously during my pregnancy and have zero stretch marks. I know that stretch marks are partly genetic, etc., but there’s still something so lovely and extravagant about receiving a self-care beauty product like this that you might not otherwise splurge on yourself. I’ve also gifted a friend a few pairs of these maternity underwear which I know sounds weird but they are HEAVEN when you get to your third trimester! I was so reluctant to buy a pair of $23 maternity underwear that would only be worn for a few weeks, but the days these came out of the laundry were always happy days for me. HA! The little things.

If those two gifts feel too intimate (I get it), I also have sent friends caffeine-free tea samplers from David’s Tea along with tea bags and measuring spoons. I got into such a tea ritual while pregnant; it was such an indulgence after dinner when I’d usually have been enjoying a glass of wine.

If you are really looking to splurge: these jammies were the best thing that ever happened to me in the final few months of my pregnancy.

P.S. Things I am currently eyeballing:

+This Alice McCall gown. 10 out of 10. Ice blue! I am SO into this color right now. I wish I had an event to wear this to…

+This satin hair bow. My hair is currently chopped into a bob so I don’t think it will work for me right now, but it would look adorable in longer tresses. I might opt for this velvet headband instead…

+This fun limited edition MZ Wallace tote by hip line Lingua Franca. It reminded me of this Banana sweater I recently lingered over.

+These fun thermal jammies.

+J. Brand denim is my all time favorite, and they are running 25% off all purchases through tonight. If you are preggo, I strongly encourage you to consider investing in a pair of Mama Js. A friend recommended these to me, and I have recommended them to at least a dozen other expecting mamas since and they are AMAZING. So comfortable and so flattering. Not preggo: I absolutely love J. Brand’s photoready line of denim. It has just the right amount of stretch and creates a killer silhouette. I’m intrigued by their new photoready HD variation…

P.P.S. More Q+As and thinking back on our move to NYC almost a year ago.

P.P.P.S. Still love these products.

By: Jen Shoop

Plaid is everywhere right now, especially in the form of the must-have glen plaid blazer for this fall. But I’ve also started lusting after plaid blouses — the perfect way to add interest to your outfit without requiring too much effort. Below, my top picks:

THIS NAVY FLANNEL, WHICH I’D WEAR TUCKED INTO HIGH-WAISTED DENIM AND UNBUTTONED TO THERE WITH HEELS

THIS I-MEAN-BUSINESS LELA ROSE SHOWSTOPPER

THIS FUN CORDUROY STYLE (REMEMBER TO GO WEST, YOUNG LADY!)

THIS UBER-COMFORTABLE POPOVER TUNIC — PERFECT WITH LEGGINGS/JEANS AT HOME

THIS ON-TREND PUFF SLEEVED STATEMENT

THIS SLOUCHY STYLE, WHICH I’D DEFINITELY WEAR TUCKED IN, PROBABLY WITH BOOTIES (ALTERNATLEY: THIS SIMILAR, LESS VOLUMINOUS VARIATION OR THIS GAP STEAL)

THIS FASHION-FORWARD ZARA STEAL (LOVE THE YELLOW!)

P.S. Not a blouse, but this dress is on my wishlist. You can get the look for less — and in blouse form — with this or this.

P.P.S. When the whole wide world is fast asleep.

P.P.P.S. What’s the story behind your song?

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: The Square Neckline Blouse.

Along with puffed sleeves, square necklines have been a lovely little surprise to this season’s round-up of trendy shapes, thanks, in large part, to Arielle Charnas, whose Something Navy line for Nordstrom (shown above) nearly sold out in 2 hours flat earlier this week. I wish I’d acted faster on some of these pieces — especially this square-neck top, shown above. Instead, I scratched this itch with this J. Crew find. I also love this saucy style in the ivory colorway.

You’re Sooooo Popular: The NYE Dress.

The most popular items on Le Blog this week:

+This unbelievable under-$100 NYE-appropriate dress. (20% off with code STOCKUP18.)

+This collarless blazer. Wear with everything!

+A chunky cableknit to achieve that borrowed-from-the-boys look. (Wear with white skinnies and ballet flats!)

+An alluring scoopneck dress I want to wear all fall long.

+My new backpack!!!

+A refined boho look in the most startling shade of not-quite-emerald sea green.

+Looks like Gucci, costs far less.

+A big bow and a saucy shape.

+Wear-with-everything shoes.

#Turbothot: On Elizabeth Holmes, Female Entrepeneurship, + Bad Blood.

Can we talk about Carreyrou’s gripping expose on Theranos and its young and ambitious founder, Elizabeth Holmes?

I feel 34 different ways about this book.

On the one hand, I truly hate that this is one of the few narratives we have of female entrepreneurship in the technology sector, a notorious boys club if there ever was one. Though Carreyrou clearly sets Holmes up as a sociopath from page one of the book — a portrait that is difficult to dispute given the chain of decisions she makes as the plot unfolds — I found myself gritting my teeth willfully: “Harrumph, why is she being criticized for adopting the same exact methods that so many male entrepreneurs use?” And by that I mean the fake-it-til-you-make-it mentality so prevalent in the startup scene. If you take time to listen to any of the many podcasts featuring (almost all-male) entrepreneurs who have “made it” (and I listened to dozens and dozens back in my startup days, many of them from the series Rocketship, Startup, and Lean Startup), the storyline is shockingly unvaried: “I was down to my last dime, and I was shipping a product that was crawling with bugs/vaporware/at best a vast oversimplification of what I was selling, and — at the last hour, I got a call from so-and-so saying he wanted in on my funding round. Then we hustled. We faked it til we made it.” These entrepreneurs revel in their mild deceitfulness, spinning it as good salesmanship and a commitment to vision. This mentality held true among the dozens of entrepreneurs I knew and sought counsel from when I was building a business. They were careful not to lie, exactly, but — fuzziness on the details? “Optimism” in the projections? Yes. One of the most important slides in an early (pre-seed-round) pitch deck is the one covering “sales” or “traction” — and this was a notorious site of overinflation of the facts. I recall many founders talking about having met once with a company, or having set one meeting in the future with a company, and then listing that company’s name as “in talks for a contract” on said slide. This was a strategic though risky move on their part, as — in the pre-seed phase — financial projections mean literally nothing to investors, as they could just as well be spun from thin air; what matters more at this stage are the commitments from potential customers, and the bigger the names, the better. They act as indicators for your trustworthiness as an entrepreneur and the strength of your network, an important calculation because if you are a well-connected guy or gal, you will likely be able to build your business to the point of proof-of-concept by trading in on favors. And you can use those favors to test your MVP, or minimum viable product, for feedback prior to settling into true salesmanship and marketing to the unknown public. But I digress. My point is this: a lot of the “stunts” Elizabeth pulls early in the book are par for the course, in my opinion, in the startup world. Why is the startup world this way, you might wonder? I don’t know! I think part of it is sewn into the culture that’s been cultivated, a sort of mythology perpetuated by founders themselves who have made it. But I also think that entrepreneurs that project unbridled ambition, conviction, passion, I-live-and-breathe-this-business are rewarded by the funding mechanisms that exist in that industry, i.e., the venture capitalists who invest in the space. There is something hand-and-glove about the kinds of VCs I met and the kinds of entrepreneurs that got funded. They both run hot.

BUT. Holmes completely ran afoul of ethics in how far she took her blustering deceitfulness about the state of her product. Yes, it’s one thing to overstate contracts in an early pitch deck, to ship an early version of a technology that doesn’t quite work when it will be used in an office setting to streamline expense reports. It’s an entirely different thing to knowingly permit actual patients to use a medical technology that is so inaccurate it can’t be trusted as if it works — and to let them deal with the horrifying aftermath of those inaccuracies. Can you imagine?! I can’t. It puts a pit the size of Texas in my stomach.

So as much as I wish this narrative had never happened –as much as I wish Holmes has been a different person and there were a rosier picture of the female entrepreneur that we could rally around — the fact of the matter is that Holmes committed unconscionable acts that put innocent people in danger/at risk simply to achieve…something. I say something because I’m not sure what she was after. There are indications early in her life that her childhood ambition was to be a billionaire. Later, she seems swept up in the cult of Steve Jobs’ genius and personality, and she fashions herself as a second Jobs, even wearing black turtlenecks and committing to extreme diets “just like Steve.” And so she seems set on achieving a legacy for herself as a creative genius. In my analysis, I believe her to have been an uber-bright, uber-ambitious, uber-accomplished young woman who gained early exposure to folks at the top of their fields through the social cunning of her parents and the high-pedigree schools she attended that whet her appetite for financial and professional success. She then used her brilliance and charm to convince people of her noble vision for a breakthrough in medical technology (a great idea, by the way, if it worked). I know a couple of entrepreneurs who were like this at their start — super young and super inexperienced but able to project a kind of purity of vision, a boldness and determination, that led older people to stop and say: “Well DAMN. This person is driven.” And, I think, there was an avuncularity to the kind of support and investments she was able to curry: “This gal could be my daughter! My niece! I’d like to help her!” In this sense, I think her gender helped her earn the affection and trust of many of the well-heeled, well-respected (MALE!) investors and business leaders who championed her: she was a whip-smart young firecracker (using those words intentionally) they could take under their wing and, likely, mold to their own needs. At some point, she’s arranged such a powerhouse ring of supporters that their presence exonerated her from any question marks one might have had. “Well, shucks. It sounds phony but…Henry Kissinger and Bill Frist and General Mattis are standing behind her, so…who am I to object?”

Oh boy, I could go on and on about this, but in the end, I think the story demonstrates just how impressionable people can be — just how easily they can be manipulated, how much business is impacted by personality, how convincing it can be to see someone impressive on a board and to assume that they’ve done their due diligence and use them as a vouchsafe for someone’s integrity. How human, in other words, we all are, even in the most numbers-driven of fields.

#Shopaholic: The Ladylike Dress.

+I’m swooning over this ladylike dress! Adore it in the white color. I’d pair with these my ivory Rockstud flats.

+These fringe mules (on sale for $43!) have such a great Aquazzura vibe to them.

+Faux (or dried!) stems are such a great way to introduce green into your home without the commitment of a live plant. I have used dried eucalyptus branches, lavender, etc to accent my shelves. These faux stems are great for the same reason. I especially love the dusty laurel stems.

+This sweater is AMAZING. I love it! Would look so chic layered with a gray skirt underneath a gray coat.

+This speckled vase has an artisanal quality to it that I love. Can you imagine it on bare light-wood shelves in a rustic-modern cabin?! I’d use it to arrange flowers in.

+This skirt (on sale for $62!) has a Prada vibe to it.

+My manicurist talked me into trying the polish brand Smith&Cult, claiming it was gentler on the nails, lasted longer, and had the best colors. I can’t dispute the color comment: their “Kundalini Hustle” is just the kind of candy apple red I gravitate toward. I found that it does not last as long as the Essie Gel Couture colors, but far longer than any other polish I’ve tried. Very strongly recommend.

+Ordered this tee in multiples. I love a super-thin, super-soft layering tee for wearing under sweaters in the winter, and the colors are great.

+Absolutely LOVE this geometric pleated skirt. SO CHIC. The colors, the print. Everything.

+I need to investigate the quality in person, but this looks just like the ultra-covetable Saks Potts sweaters that came out a season or two ago (<<marked down to 70% off here for some reason! Vite vite!)

By: Jen Shoop

A couple weeks ago, I sat down to coffee with a dear friend and we talked about this, that, and the other thing before the conversation funneled into the familiar territory in which I so commonly find myself when talking with women in their 30s: careers and babies and how to juggle the two. I have an unusual arrangement in this regard, as I have a nanny three days a week so I can write, and then I’m a stay at home mom the other two — and so I often sit back and listen to these conversations noddingly though without input, as I feel I’m not qualified to comment on either of the two more common arrangements: full-time working mother or full-time SAHM. I am always struck by the overtones of guilt and defensiveness that permeate these conversations, and they leave me sad and philosophical. That day, though, I was rattled by something my friend said:

“A friend of mine told me she felt she had to work outside the home after they had children because she wanted to remain interesting to her husband.”

Remain interesting to her husband. The words lingered in the air like cigarette smoke, sickening me. At first, I scoffed at it, summarily dismissing the inane sentiment that career woman = interesting and mother = boring. The notion that my intelligence or ability to spar and ideate might be tarnished, diminished, or somehow rubbed off by my new role as a mother — what is that?!

And yet it would be disingenuous to say that I didn’t get it. I thought immediately of a brainstorm I once led with my management team at a former job about how best to resolve a complicated workflow issue. It was stimulating, requiring ingenuity and nimbleness of thought. We clustered together in a small conference room around a white board, tossing out ideas, citing articles we’d read. I navigated the dynamics in the room, dodging tempers, appeasing big personalities, coaxing quiet-but-smart types to contribute. I facilitated the conversation to its resolution and offered to spearhead the implementation. On the way out, my boss gestured to the small war room we’d just been in and said: “You’re good at that. Thanks.” It was not an earth-shattering accomplishment, but I felt respected and intellectually challenged and, well, like a grown-up businesswoman who had earned her keep. I was also eager to replay the conversation to Mr. Magpie that night, to get his perspective, to impress him, to pass along the compliment I’d received.

I in turn thought about the myriad lively exchanges I’ve had with Mr. Magpie on matters of business, management, workplace culture, product–often empassioned, often accompanied by wine, always showcasing just how invested we have been in our jobs and our teams. And I thought of the time he sat in an audience of over 200 while I delivered a Ted-talk-like presentation on designing products to improve the financial health of low-income youth and afterward came up to me with his eyes rimmed in red: “I am so, so proud of you.” Gulping something back, seeing me in a new light. The time a coach from a female entrepreneurship event I was participating in asked him at a cocktail party: “How does it feel to play second fiddle to this woman?” (I hated her for saying that, for invoking some kind of weird gender role dynamic, for belittling him — but I loved how he shrugged it off and shut her up with a polite: “It feels great.” And my heart doubled.) The times he would squeeze my hand or give me a thumbs up just before or after a big meeting or presentation when we ran a business together. His enthusiastic — “Yes…yes! That’s awesome!” — when I would mock up a new product feature or run through a new phrasing in our sale pitch. The way he would excitedly pace from one end of our kitchen to the other while mulling something over, electric with energy, prodigious with thought. The feeling of being his equal, of being respected and trusted and leaned upon in all things as his co-founder.

The thought that I could lose this interest and respect was new and devastating to consider. I wondered, suddenly, how he saw me after all. I wondered if the slow and inevitable transition in dinnerplace conversation from business matters to baby food would gradually take its toll, whether slowly he would start carrying his workplace musings elsewhere, would assume I was too disconnected to comprehend or empathize with them.

I fretted over this for the better part of a week. I intentionally kept our evening discussions far afield from mini’s evolved nap schedule and the new bibs I’d just ordered. I asked about his day, asked after what had happened with a new project, offered my own perspective. I contemplated telling him what was on my mind, but knew exactly what he would say to me: “You’re being ridiculous.”

And, well — I was.

I am still the first person Mr. Magpie turns to for help with wordsmithing. I routinely edit his emails to colleagues, letters of recommendation he has penned for members of his team, materials for his presentations. Usually they’re already flawless, but I nitpick anyway, knowing he wants another set of eyes — or, sometimes, the pat on the back he deserves.

He will often call me in search of my perspective on matters related to management. “This just happened…what do you think?” Or, “What would you say to this person?” I always oblige.

He recently contemplated inviting me into his office to help with a product design training he was trying to run, as I have facilitated them in the past. I was flattered that he would think of me and trust me in front of his new team.

So, I guess I’ve still got it.

And so I have decided to place that corrosive concern in an enormous wooden chest, lock it with a key, and toss it overboard. Or maybe burn it first and then toss its ashes overboard, just so there’s never a chance it can come floating back to me. I don’t need that deadweight, that extra burden of guilt and self-doubt.

But mainly I am writing this to say to the other moms out there who might be grappling with the same fear: don’t let your motherliness sit as a counterbalance to yourself. By that I mean that motherhood is a part of me — not another version of me, and also not all of me. In this sense, the notion that I might become uninteresting to my husband as a stay at home mom betrays a false dichotomy. It presumes that we are different people in the home vs. at the workplace. But I am not. I am me everywhere I go, whether I am pushing a stroller or leading a sales call. I am the same observant, dare I say interesting person. And so are you.

Post Scripts: Things You Need to Know About.

+I don’t know how I missed out on this (originally published in 2016) but I am GAGA over Chanel Dror’s wedding day details.

+I am somebody.

+Hold the phone. J.Crew just came out with a jogger version of their dreamy pant, which — as you know — is pretty much the most comfortable thing ever created, and I own it in multiples. Ordered immediately. (These cost less and come in great colors, too.)

+Eight years in!

+I’m in a cashmere state of mind apparently. Has anyone ever bought any pieces from White+Warren? I’m drooling over this in the pearl white and this bell-sleeved beauty.

+When was the last time you felt like a fish out of water?

+This satin bow hair accessory! SO GOOD!

+You must read this book. It is so juicy and mind-boggling and fascinating. I need to unpack what I feel about it. I actually worked for someone startlingly similar to the Holmes described in this book and so it struck a deep chord with me.

+Pageantry.

+Adore these embellished mules! So chic!

+I have been hesitant on the leopard/cheetah print trend that has been everywhere lately, but this skirt with a simple black tee and black mules would be pretty damn chic.

+Love this plaid blouse!

By: Jen Shoop

The weather has turned crisp and autumnal in Manhattan and I’m suddenly very aware of the holes in minimagpie’s fall wardrobe. I instantly ordered a wear-with-everything navy cardigan and these cableknit tights in every color — they’re my favorite. Thick, warm, and hold up well in the wash. I sadly retired her Natives Shoes, which were ESSENTIAL over the summer when she was in and out of splash pads all the live long day and swapped in a new pair of Cienta t-straps in red. And while I should have then focused my sights on layering staples, I instead found myself trying to legitimize the $27 shipping fee for this absolutely precious gingham set from La Coqueta, shown above and below. My heart! I will find a way to weasel that into mini’s wardrobe, possibly by waiting for it to crop up at The Tot whenever they restock. (Incidentally, I bought this La Coqueta dress while on sale in anticipation of next Easter.)

Back to staples: I had been on the lookout for pima cotton peter pan collar onesies/tops. I used to buy them in multiples from Kissy Kissy (<<these are really the best; extremely durable and so soft) but am finding it hard to track down sizes over 18-24M and mini is really tall. I am kicking myself for not ordering a few extra of these ones from Spanish line Babidu back when I placed a larger order at SweetPeaKids (a London-based e-boutique) and was willing to justify international shipping. (I also snagged this, which is perfection.) The Babidu style is just what I was looking for — very similar to Kissy Kissy and fairly cheap, too! I did find these discounted Jojo Maman Bebes though, which will do the job well!

A couple of other recent fall finds:

THIS SOPHIE & LUCAS CORDUROY SET (WITH TIGHTS AND CARDI?! YES)

THIS LONG-SLEEVED SMOCK DRESS (ON SALE!)

THIS DARLING PINAFORE

THIS ADORABLE RED JUMPER (PERFECT FOR LAYERING OVER THOSE PETER PAN COLLAR BLOUSES)

THESE KICKS IN LIGHT BLUE OR NAVY (20% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER IF YOU SIGN UP FOR EMAILS)

THIS PLAID BLOUSE AND THIS OXFORD ONE — IDEAL FOR LAYERING OVER THIS CORDUROY JUMPER, WHICH I AM ITCHING TO BUY IN THE HUNTER GREEN

THESE CLASSIC SHOES!

THIS CABLEKNIT SWEATER IN PINK

THIS EASY-TO-WEAR STRIPED EVERYDAY DRESS*

THIS PRECIOUS FAIR ISLE SWEATER DRESS (ON SALE)

And because I have often received requests to offer more little boy clothing picks (I’m so myopic, I’m sorry!), thought I’d add a few good picks for the wee gents as well:

ACTUALLY DEAD OVER THESE LITTLE BOY DRIVING MOCS

CLASSIC YELLOW SLICKER

LONG-SLEEVED POLOS IN EVERY COLOR

OSH KOSH OVERALLS — I LIKE THE KHAKI WITH THE PLAID CUFF

CABLE-KNIT SWEATER

CHAMBRAY BUTTON-DOWN

THIS GUCCI VIBES SWEATER

THESE JAMMIES OMG OMG OMG OMG

P.S. Mini is in itty bitty “twinkle toes” pre-ballet classes. It’s the freaking cutest thing of my life. They actually requested that the girls wear ballet slippers, if you can believe it! I ordered these (adorable) and, along with my favorite ILovePlum tutus, got her one of these, which is decently well made for the price. I also fished this book out of a big chest in which we are storing toys and books that are too mature for mini at the moment — she loves this book now! I am surprised at how well she is doing with longer books with thinner pages. She will sit and listen to the entirety of Curious George, which is not as short as you’d think. Anyway, the Matilda book would be a really nice treat for a child in a family of multiple siblings. It’s partly about ballet but mainly about making space for yourself in a large family.

P.P.S. We have given this as a gift to several little boys turning three this year and it has been a big hit. I think it must be around the age when kiddos are learning about rockets — but we also liked it because it teaches them the basics of physics!

By: Jen Shoop

I tend to invest in (or splurge on, depending on whether you’re talking to Mr. Magpie or I) shoes, handbags, and the handful of clothing staples (like denim and outerwear) that I know will take a beating through continuous, heavy use each season. But a lot of the remainder of my wardrobe is scored on sale or through the careful ferreting out of pieces that look high-end or fashion-forward, but cost far less than you’d expect. Below, my favorite affordable luxury finds for the season. (Most of these items are under $100.)

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 1: Everlane Cashmere Crewneck.

First up: my beloved Everlane cashmere crewneck, shown above next to a lovely jewelry case my mother gave me when I was a young thing in my late teens and didn’t appreciate such heirloom-quality gifts (it still bears my maiden initials!) and a string of pearls from my grandmother. I can’t look at those pearls without thinking of the time she stopped me at our Christmas dinner a year after she’d given them to me as a gift and said: “Oh my! Where did you get those enormous pearls?!” HA! I guess they looked a little larger around my thirteen year old neck than they had around hers. At any rate. Cashmere sweater. I have written about this sweater a number of times but cannot believe that it costs $100 when it feels and looks like it should be well into the $300-$400 range. Everlane generously sent me the soft blue sweater above (thank you x 1000!) after I wrote about it about 23 times. Heads up: the color is more heathered and a bit darker than it appears online, but I love it all the same. I’m currently wearing mine with white distressed denim and Golden Goose sneaks on the reg. (And I hand-wash it with this.)

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 2: The Puff-Sleeved Blouse.

Speaking of blue (are we sensing a theme?), I was smitten with this dramatically-sleeved blouse from hot line Khaite.

I found a similar look for less from Arielle Charnas’ latest collection for Nordstrom — it rings in at $85 and I actually prefer the square neck! Love. And if you’re not into the blue color, J. Crew has yet another similar style (minus the puff sleeve) on offer in black or white. I snagged that one in black.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 3: The Plaid Coat.

I mean, how could you not want to wear the ultra-chic chunky plaid coat seen on Amber Valletta below? It’s from Escada and if you saw it walking down the street two city blocks ahead of you, you’d pause and think: “Dayuuum, that woman has style.” You can splurge on this flashy statement yourself to a tune of $2,795 here and waltz through the remaining decades of your life in timeless boucle style (this would work on a 20 year old or a 90 year old and every age in between), or you can get the look for less with this J. Crew style, currently 40% off. (Aside: I’m dying over this ice blue down coat from Escada, too. Love that it can be belted!)

And let’s not forget the minis here: you can score this ladylike boucle topper for your mini me, too.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 4: The V-Neck Flat.

I first heard about the apparently iconic Celine “v-neck” flat (seen below) from my uber-stylish sister, Christina, who has worked in the fashion industry for her entire adult life. (She now runs her own amazing brand, Dagny London. You can read all about her here.) My first thought was — ehhhh, not sure the silhouette is for me. But, as commonly happens, she is always about two seasons ahead of the curve and I came around to envying them fiercely. Now you can get the look for less with these stark-white beauties from Mango, and for less than $80! I also love these J. Crew snakeskin stunners, which are a little less dramatic in the silhouette but achieve a similar look. These would look SO good with an otherwise staid work wardrobe, elevating anything from a simple black dress to a crisp button-down and dark wash denim.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 5: The Fuzzy Fleece.

I know I’ve written about this a lot before, but every fall, I look forward to pulling out my Patagonia Retool Snap T fleece. It is the snuggliest thing I own and I love its vintage vibe (like something worn in 1970?) I own it in that oatmeal color, and it’s actually on sale for $77 right now.

BUT Old Navy also has a shockingly chic fleece hoodie that looks very much like a Patagonia and comes in excellent colors: an oatmeal similar to my own Patagonia and a deep pink-burgundy hue. I absolutely love those oversized laces at the neck, too. So chic! I want to wear this everywhere.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 6: The Silk Shantung Blouse.

I absolutely love the silk shantung pieces in Mansur Gavriel’s collections over the last few seasons — especially this sleeveless blouse, on sale for $130 in select sizes here, and available in more colors and a range of sizes here. (Would love to coordinate that blouse with their trousers for a monochrome look.)

Fortunately for us, we can get the look for even less with this J. Crew blouse (note the bow in the back!!!!)

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 7: The Ice Blue Coat.

Sorry I’ve written about this Ganni coat so much but man do I love it. The plaid, the color, the length, the beltedness! You can get a similar ice blue look with this Something Navy teddy style, which turned my head. Love it paired with white and shades of blue.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 8: The Chunky Marled Sweater.

This ACNE sweater is so cozy-chic. I think it’d be amazing paired with coated black jeans and some embellished, pointed toe mules (get the look for less with these).

You can get the marled sweater look for less with this style from J. Crew.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 9: The Bow-Sleeved Dress.

I have been drooling over these dramatic-bow Roksanda dresses for awhile now. What a statement! Ladylike and whimsical all the same.

Get the look for less with this $50 Zara steal. Alternately, get a similar look with a bow at the waist in this knit midi.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 10: The Patagonia Kids Alternatives.

Who doesn’t love a classic Patagonia fleece for a little one? I’ve invested in a few already in my time as a mom but when the wee ones are little, it kills me how briefly they are able to wear a given size. Luckily, there are some solid lookalikes on the market. Instead of the darling furry friends fleece shown below, you can get the look for less with this $20 steal. (Though please note that if you sign up for emails at BackCountry, you get 15% off your first purchase!) I got mini this fleece for the fall in pink, but this vest nails the look at a fraction of the price. And then there’s the classic Retro-X Patagonia fleece. Get the look for less with this or even less with this (love the green)!

P.S. I think they call that kismet.

P.P.S. I’m heading home to D.C. for a few days this weekend, and have been thinking a lot about this.

P.P.P.S Do you ever break curfew?

By: Jen Shoop

I’ve been having a field day watching all of the fashion shows and fashion week festivities as they jump from New York to London to Paris. Below, my absolute favorite micro-trends — plus how to get the look…

AW18 Microtrend 1: Marigold.

Marigold was EVERYWHERE on the runway — from Mansur Gavriel (top) to Oscar (middle) to Carolina Herrera (bottom). I especially love it paired with pastel blue (more on that later).

Get the marigold look with…

THIS BALLOON-SLEEVED SWEATER (LOVE)

A STUNNING WOVEN MAXI

A CASHMERE CREWNECK

A FUN EMBELLISHED HEADBAND (I’D PAIR WITH A CRISP WHITE DRESS/BUTTON-DOWN AND LOAFERS TO TONE DOWN THE PRINCESS-Y-NESS)

AW18 Microtrend 2: Feathers.

I was drooling over the 1960s Holly Golightly vibe at Marc Jacobs — especially the marigold feathered number seen below (top). Stunning. Feathers were also prominent at Oscar de la Renta (second from top), Attico (third from top), and Brock collection (bottom).

Get the feather look with…

THIS DARLING BAG

THIS SPLASHY BLOUSE (FOR A NIGHT OUT! AMAZING!)

THESE FUN EARRINGS

AW18 Microtrend 3: Fuzzy Sweaters.

I know I saw them elsewhere, but can only come up with the snap below of street style starlet Jenny Walton wearing a fuzzy mohair sweater — and man is she darling in it! (She made the skirt!!!)

Get Jenny’s entire look with…

A FLUFFY SWEATER LIKE THIS PASTEL BEAUTY, THIS TEXTURED GRAY STUNNER, OR THIS MANGO STEAL (LOOKS A LOT LIKE THIS GANNI)

A FLORAL MIDI LIKE THIS OR THIS

THIS MANSUR GAVRIEL BAG (GET THE LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS)

AW18 Microtrend 4: The 80s.

I’ll admit I’m a little skeptical of the return of the 80s, but there was a LOT of it on the runways — both in the form of neon colors and amped up dramatic dresses straight from 1984. Below, snaps from Prada (top), Brandon Maxwell (second from top), Oscar (again — third from top), and Prabal Gurung.

GET THE 80S LOOK WITH…

THIS BARBIE DOLL PINK ULLA CONFECTION (#BACHELORETTE)

THIS SKIRT (LOOKS LIKE PRADA BUT COSTS FAR LESS)

THIS ASYMMETRIC DRESS ($100 AND SO BADASS)

THESE HOT PINK MULES

AW18 Microtrend 5: Ice Blue.

Finally, I saw a ton of the most elegant, ladylike ice blue color, including at Brock Collection (top), Erdem (second from top), Mansur Gavriel (third from top), and Rodarte (bottom).

GET THE ICE BLUE LOOK WITH…

THIS GANNI COAT

THIS CHUNKY KNIT FROM A CULT-FOLLOWING BRAND

GANNI PUMPS

By: Jen Shoop

Quick micropost — just got an email last night giving me early access to a major Shopbop coupon code:

20% off orders under $500 or 25% off orders over $500 with code STOCKUP18.

In my basket:

THIS OVERSIZED SWEATSHIRT WITH THE GREATEST SLEEVES

THE BLUE COAT I’VE BEEN BLABBING ABOUT (TIME TO PULL THE TRIGGER??)

FESTIVE BLOUSE

MY SECRET WEAPON FOR BACKLESS/COMPLEX NECKLINED DRESSES

MOSS GREEN SWEATER

CHIC FALL BLOUSE

THE PERFECT WHITE TEE

WELL-CUT NAVY BLAZER (DYING FOR THIS NEW-TO-ME-BRAND AND ITS SHARP BLAZERS!)

P.S. The years that ask questions, and the years that answer.

P.P.S. Wishbones and backbones.

By: Jen Shoop

Once a month, I meet with a group of whip-smart ladies in Sheep Meadow to discuss books. I leave in a kind of intellectually-charged daze, my mind alight with new observations and re-readings of the book at hand. This book club has reminded me why book clubs exist: to make us better readers. It has revealed to me — in a way that teaching and studying in the classroom never did — that there are different kinds of readers. In school, there was a kind of prescriptiveness to the sorts of observations we were able to make. We never talked about whether we liked Tess of the D’Urbervilles or Hester Prynne or Humbert Humbert, or whether we felt that a particular authorial strategy worked or not, or whether the book was just too damned long. Instead, we focused on identifying the devices at play in a given text, unpacking the language, charting the course of a particular theory through the plot in front of us, tracing the cultural and literary and familial influences that may have shaped the design of the book. There was something borderline scientific about it, as if we were pinning insects to a board and itemizing their parts with numbers. “Yes, yes — 3a., catachresis used here.” But I’ve come to learn that this academizing of the act of reading — while it made me appreciate and respect The Author and The Text — subjugated the very human impulse to decide for myself whether or not I cared about the characters. Whether or not the book was fun to read. Whether or not I would recommend it to a friend, a sister, a colleague. Every book was important, serious, worthy by virtue of its inclusion on the syllabus — whether it was a joy to read or not. (No thank you, Waverly.) My book club has restored a sense of readerly humanity to me, has granted me permission to emote around books in a way I’ve not indulged since I was a teen. It has made me realize that good readership can come in many forms, and I’d like to acknowledge those forms here:

Thank you, Jess, my strong feminist reader. I find myself smirking as I read a particularly gender-charged section: “Aha, just wait until Jess sees this passage; she’s going to have a field day.” I love your conviction, your passion, your occasional contrarian-ness. You add rich color to our conversations, and I respect your willingness to stake an alternative reading when the group seems to have swung in a different direction.

Thank you, Diana, for your groundedness, for showing me how to connect to characters who are so different from me. Your empathy for the characters in books — your willingness to meet them where they are, understand them without passing judgement — astounds me. You are generous in the way you read.

Thank you, Charlotte, for your laser-sharp observations. Nothing slips by you. You are one of the most alert, diligent readers I’ve ever encountered, and I can always count on you to call out a character or author for something untoward or unlikeable or problematic. I think mainly of you when I am scoring these books. “Charlotte will disagree, but I’m giving this a generous four…”

Thank you, Inslee, for the biting wit and skepticism with which you read; you make even the dryest of books racy and hilarious. Of everyone in the book club, I’m always most surprised by what you have to say; I can never predict whether you will like or hate something, will laugh or nod at something. But whatever it is, you will startle me with your well-observed (often sardonic) commentary.

Thank you, Susie, for your inquisitiveness, your curiosity. I love that you return to and re-read passages to make sure you understand what has happened. You demonstrate such devotion and earnestness in your reading that it makes me want to be more careful in my reading.

Thank you, Diana, for your lowkey brilliance. You will shruggingly toss out an observation that entirely reshapes the way I think about a character, a plot line, an authorial decision. “Yeah, well, she needed to tell the story that way in order to build suspense,” you’ll say, picking at a blade of grass and glancing around unassumingly. BOOM. My understanding of the book has been reformed.

Thank you, Gina, for your investment in the books and characters we read. I know few people who care more about what happens in literature than you do — the way you talk about characters and plotlines, with such passion and empathy and frustration, engages me deeply in the books we read, makes me see the books as extensions of our own experiences.

ICYMI: please read along! And if you’re in NYC, shoot me an email to reserve a spot for our next gathering. We’ll be meeting in the art studio of the fabulously talented Inslee, who just recently sent me this moving article on french fries and parenting that had us both in tears.

Post Script: The Best Books I’ve Read in the Last Two Years.

We talked about a lot of books on this blog, but here is a shortlist — the can’t miss, must read of the bunch.

+All the Names They Used for God by Anjali Sachdeva. Easily my favorite book we’ve read in book club thus far. Wildly imaginative, creepy, provocative. The stories sit with you for a long while. Full review here.

+The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine. In a totally different category: this chick lit thriller slayed me. I was reading into the wee hours of the morning with this one. I can’t recall the last time a book shocked me as much as this one did. Such a thrill ride.

+In Other Words by Jhumpa Lahiri. This quiet little book on language and identity doubles back on itself. It reads simply but you’ll find yourself treading in deep waters, mulling over the metacommentary for weeks after. But what is language after all? you’ll find yourself wondering. Potent, big stuff.

+Upstream by Mary Oliver. A poetic, stirring set of musings on nature and life and boundaries and blurrings between them. This left me philosophical.

+The Silent Duchess by Dacia Maraini. One of the funkiest, richest books I’ve ever read. A lot happening here on the gender front between love and sexual assault, patriarchies and matriarchies, inheritances and bloodlines, silence and speech. Very very very very weird and very very very very good.

+Open by Andre Agassi. OK, I might have read this over two years ago. But just over. This was one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read. A fascinating and insightful (poetic!) look at tennis and its psychology, plus juicy drama about one of the biggest sports stars of the 90s. Really good read.

What about you? If you could nominate just one book as the best book you’ve read in the last two years, what would it be?

P.S. All the things you need for fall, plus this dress and this blouse (for date night — ps it’s lined). And maybe this dress for work (Chanel vibes!)

P.P.S. In case you’re already on the hunt for a festive look for the holiday circuit: this blouse or — wait for it — this epic $98 dress, which feels like a more sophisticated approach to glitter. Kind of like my boots in that cool gunmetal hue. LOVE.

P.P.P.S. 10 books that will change your life.

By: Jen Shoop

Becoming a mom has completely changed how I think about handbags, at least when worn while mini is in tow. Bags must be lightweight, easy to carry (i.e., no top handle bags…), and made of a material that is…let’s just say resilient. They must be appropriately sized for the occasion (either big enough to stow everything or small enough not to get in my way when worn as a second bag) and, basically, they must enable me to be hands-free and comfortable at all times. Below, my top picks for bags that go the extra mile, many of which are seen in the snaps below:

{TDE Belt Bag — $130! And monogrammable! — also shown in snap at top of post}

{MZ Wallace Crosby Backpack}

{Clare Vivier Midi Sac}

{Paravel Doubletake}

{Anya Hindmarch Eyes Backpack}

{Goyard tote}

{Paravel Double Take again}

{MZ Wallace Metro Backpack again}

+EVERYDAY TOTE. Most days, I carry my Goyard. These are as ubiquitous as taxi cabs as New York, thanks in large part to the hundreds of stands peddling fairly good knock-offs on the streets. But there is a reason for their popularity: they are extremely lightweight and made of a material that is easy to wipe clean. I’m not sure if it’s water resistant, but it’s a lot easier to keep in good condition than, say, a calf hair leather bag that shows every scratch and watermark. Plus, the patterns hide dirt and scratches well. But did I mention its featherweight?! Truly a dream when you are toting mini’s essentials around all day.

Other picks: I use and love this leather zippered tote when traveling because it’s so nice to keep everything, well, zipped up. The pebbled leather also prevents too much wear and tear from showing; it could easily work as an everyday bag.

+BACKPACK. I had been on the hunt for a backpack for over a year because things get a little dicey when I am taking mini with me on the subway by myself — it’s hard to carry mini, a stroller (even a lightweight one that folds up into a small square!), and a tote bag up those steep steps. After months of searching, I finally found a winner in in the form of this quilted MZ Wallace bag after spying it on a super chic mom at the playground, who wore it with #allblackeverything and huge black shades. Done and done. I’m already in love with this bag and regret not having found it sooner. It is super lightweight and intelligently designed, with plenty of interior pouches/pockets and two side slip pockets on the exterior just the right size for holding a sippy cup/bottle. The straps are padded and exceptionally comfortable to wear. I almost forgot I was wearing it! I should add that part of the reason I wanted a backpack so badly was because I one time saw a man reach into my bag for my wallet while I was twenty feet away at the playground, watching mini! I vowed from that time on that I would never leave my essentials unattended; the backpack ensures I can keep everything on my person while remaining handsfree. (P.S. — If you sign up for MZ Wallace’s emails, you can get 15% off your first order, bringing the price of the backpack down. Also — I opted for the fullsize backpack instead of the smaller version because the fullsize can accommodate a 15″ laptop and I imagine I will use this a lot while traveling. Also — as mini grows and as winter approaches, I find myself tucking extra sweaters and snacks and occasionally the iPad in my bag, and the full-size is more appropriate for such volume.)

Other picks: If I were to have splurged I was eyeing this Gucci leather backpack (sort of the big sister to the MZ Wallace! Ha). I also considered this other MZ Wallace style and this fun Anya Hindmarch.

+PLAYGROUND TOTE. Prior to purchasing my backpack, my primary solution for the above-mentioned problem (wallet filchers on the loose at the playground!) was to throw bulkier items like wipes, diapers, bandaids, snacks, towels, etc, into a classic monogrammed navy LLBean tote. I got the medium size and it’s just perfect for tucking onto my stroller hooks (<<I love these and just bought a second set for my Babyzen Yoyo; they have a super modest/sleek look and take up virtually no space; they’re re-positionable; and they can hold A LOT) and carrying enough for a day out in the sun. I love the LL Bean tote, too, because they’re washable and can be used a trillion and ten ways as mini grows — as a beach bag, as a book bag, as an overnight bag, as a toy bin, as a shoe receptacle, etc. They stand up on their own! At any rate, for much of the summer, I’d toss all of mini’s gear in there and then carry a small crossbody with just my card case, key, and phone in it. My thinking was that somebody might try to steal my Goyard if left unattended, and I’d be devastated. But a $35 canvas tote? Monogrammed? With only a couple of diapers, wipes, etc inside? I’m pretty sure no one would be interested in that, and if they were, it would all be replaceable without too much heartburn.

+CROSSBODY. I have been wearing an inexpensive pink J. Crew crossbody similar to this (<<love that this can be monogrammed!) my mom gifted me for a birthday a few seasons ago. It’s just right for what I need — just big enough to hold the essentials, not so precious that I’d kill myself if it gets ruined/wet/grubby, and lightweight. You’ll note that despite talking a big game about wearing a belt bag over the course of many months on this blog, I wound up opting for a crossbody. I just couldn’t find the right style for me on the belt bag front that wasn’t insanely expensive; I considered for some time splurging on a Prada belt bag or a Gucci one, and then decided that it was just too impractical to wear something that pricey while carrying a wet toddler around. I also briefly contemplated this TDE style (#chic) and this Clare Vivier, but stuck with the crossbody in the end, though I do love the look of a belt bag right now.

Other picks: If I hadn’t had that J. Crew lovely on hand, I think I would have gone with the TDE linked above, this preppy, summer-ready Paravel, or this crossbody pouch from Cuyana. Cuyana also has a proper crossbody bag that I love but I really only need something small to carry just the most modest of essentials and not get in my way. Ultra lust-worthy item: this Celine.

Finally, setting all reason aside, I am absolutely dying over this Hunting Season bag. It breaks all the rules of practicality of been preaching but — hey. The heart wants what it wants, too. This could be my date night bag.

P.S. For most adventures with mini, I like to wear an easy dress like this or this, paired with Supergas (I especially love my gray pair) or my GGs. I also wear these joveralls A LOT. They are super comfortable and bizarrely flattering. Something about the whiskering and the stretch…I pair mine with striped tees from Kule or feminine statement blouses, like this one.

P.P.S. I would definitely add my new backpack to my round up of my favorite purchases of 2018.

P.P.P.S. Things that make me feel good about myself.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Le Quilted Backpack.

I’ll do a more complete review soon, but I am already so impressed with my latest acquisition: the MZ Wallace Metro Backpack, seen above. I got mine in ink black. It is featherweight, intelligently designed, and comfortable. But mostly it has greatly simplified solo adventures with mini where the subway is involved and I am forever grateful. Plus, it’s CHIC! The first non-designer backpack I have found where I thought: “Ah, that looks goooood.”

You’re Sooooo Popular: My New Favorite Tee.

The most popular items on Le Blog this week:

+My new favorite tee, which I own in multiple colors.

+Comfiest pajamas.

+THOSE BOOTIES THO.

+Black jeans. People LOVE this brand and this cut.

+Super chic loafers.

+Everyday luxury in the form of $100 cashmere. (The ice blue is en route to me now!)

+Darling costume for a baby.

+A splashy cocktail number for your next event. (You’d be the life of the party in it. AND. It’s $100!)

+Love my NY sweatshirt 🙂

+Give your shower an upgrade…

#Turbothot: Can We Not.

I love spending time with other moms because then I don’t feel compelled to apologize when I find myself five minutes into a story about a nanny situation, or pre-school applications, or a disastrous blowout — basically, the kind of content that any other person would rightfully glaze over and tune out. In general, I try to keep a sense of perspective, even when with other moms, and will often cut myself off — “Anyway, that’s enough about strollers” — but there are many times when I crave the companionship of another mom who has been through a similar experience to nod and laugh with me at the intense and crazy and frustrating and hilarious minutaie of motherhood. My sister and I will occasionally call each other: “OK, I just have to say something –” and then share a completely boring story about something that happened at the playground or in music class or at lunch, and it just feels good to bond over our motherliness. I have learned so much from these conversations (and also from observing, quietly, the interactions of moms with their children at the playground or in music class, as I explained here), and have found comfort and camaraderie in them.

But can I say something?

I absolutely dread a comment I routinely hear from other mothers. It goes something like this:

Me: “Oh, yeah, mini is doing great; she’s doing [xyz].”

Other mom: “Oh, just wait until she starts…[xyz]”

The “just wait until” comment drives me bananas, and I hear it constantly — even before mini was born! “Oh, just wait until the third trimester…that’s a doozy.” And “You think you can’t sleep well now? Oh boy, just wait until the baby comes.” And then: “Oh, just wait until she’s crawling.” And: “Oh, just wait until she’s standing.” And: “Oh just wait until –”

AHHH. I believe myself to be fairly forbearing, but this kind of one-up-man-ship kills me. It takes the wind right out of my sails. It makes me feel embarrassed, a greenhorn among experts, an adolescent among adults. It shrinks me and my experience. It feels like a slap on the wrist, as if my concerns and struggles are petty compared to whatever the other mom is enduring. I know, of course, that the other mom doesn’t intend her comment to be cruel; it’s most often a way for her to redirect the conversation to whatever is top-of-mind for her on a given day. And maybe she sees it as a kind of reassurance: “Oh, you’ll be OK. You can get through this. I did and look at me now!” Or maybe she sees it as a gentle scold, a reminder that things are actually quite good right now and that I should appreciate it.

But it bears noting that — in my opinion — every phase of mini’s life has been balanced with its own pros and cons. I remember a mom telling me, when mini was about six weeks old: “Count your blessings now. She can’t move! She’s immobile! Just wait until she’s on the go. Life really changes.” And I thought to myself: “Well, that’s true, but you’re also not waking up every 2 hours in the night right now; your baby sleeps from 7-7! I’m still in the early weeks of sleeplessness. And I feel like CRAP!” In short, there’s always a tradeoff. Of course, it’s easy to forget the tough parts of early motherhood, and I would do well to remember this the next time I hear a “just wait until…” I think back now on those first few weeks with a kind of Hallmark haziness, too. So many mornings spent in bed until 9, just snuggling with my little family, drinking coffee, watching The Great British Baking Show. So many cozy evenings watching movies and enjoying my first few glasses of wine in our basement. So many afternoons cuddling with mini on the sofa while Mr. Magpie cooked something for dinner. The sharp pain I was enduring around my incision? The exhaustion? The quiet sobs of an overwhelmed, overtired mom? The soreness? The emotional toll of breastfeeding and recovery? I literally have to force myself to remember those unsavory bits at this point. So much of my memories around her early weeks are now awash in joyful nostalgia.

But still. As a collective of mothers, can we not with the “just wait until” comments? Much better to listen and nod in assent, even if we are burning to throw down the gauntlet and showcase our more complicated travails in motherhood. Much better to just say: “I hear you, and I was there, too.”

Anyone else?

#Shopaholic: The $60 Boho Dress.

+This oversized blouse-y dress looks super high-end, especially paired with Hermes Orans or a pair of pointed-toe flats. (Under $60!)

+There were a lot of feathers on the runways this past fashion week — including at Marc Jacobs and Attico (#swoon) — and it has led me to consider this fun little fluffball as an evening bag for the winter. So fun.

+I have a navy cableknit sweater similar to this (slightly long/baggy) that I love to wear with white skinnies, even in the fall.

+Love this versatile piece in the camel or pink. The kind of thing you can keep at your desk and throw on over anything when cold.

+Heart eyes for this chunky, oversized scarf. I like the idea of matching it to whatever color your favorite coat is for a monochrome look.

+I mentioned this elsewhere, but I’m in LOVE with this striped shirtdress! Gucci vibes for $100!

+Mini has just recently outgrown all of her shoes. I loved her Elephantito Mary Janes (she had them in silver) and am going to buy a new pair in this cool, classic brown color.

+Random, yes, but I just ordered these as a space-saving solution. A smaller footprint than the classic box! Genius.

By: Jen Shoop

I wake every morning to the sight of Mr. Magpie’s childhood cedar wood dresser. It’s followed me, unwelcome, from home to home since marrying Mr. Magpie, who has been hauling it around since college. And when I say hauling, I do mean hauling. The thing weighs a shipping ton, goes with exactly nothing in our entire apartment, and stands broad and heavy in a way that befits a ski chalet instead of our slate-and-lavender bedroom with its upholstered headboard and mirrored glass side-tables.

But it greets me every morning, wide and American and often missing half of its knobs, which tend to fall off their screws when I yank too hard, or when the glue Mr. Magpie has used to re-affix them gives up, or on a Tuesday morning just because. The truant knobs then sit atop the dresser in a tight cluster until Mr. Magpie spends a Saturday puttering around the apartment, replacing bulbs and tightening screws and handling all of those household things I am clueless about. In the meantime, I painfully pull my drawers out by bare screw, the threads cutting into my fingers — or shimmy them out from the open drawer beneath — cursing under my breath about this damned cedar dresser.

Two days ago, both knobs of my most-used drawer fell off simultaneously.

The next morning, after Mr. Magpie and I had gone about a perfunctory but cozy morning getting ready for the day and tossed harried “byes!” and “love yous!” at each other as I wrangled mini into her clothing and he juggled a wet Tilly and his overflowing coffee mug, I headed into my room to get dressed. I bent down to forge a solution to the knob-less drawer and I noticed that it had been pulled out half-way in anticipation of my need.

The damned cedar dresser had been the unsuspecting site of a casual act of love, done wordlessly and without pomp. It had become the courier for a kind of solicitude I cherish but have often forgotten about in the hustle bustle of our daily lives together.

And so I have come around to that damned cedar dresser after all, its unlikely stewardship of Mr. Magpie’s thoughtfulness endearing itself to me. In fairness, it has stood the test of time and staved off the purchase of a costly piece of furniture that we would probably not have been able to fit in our New York City apartment anyway. And truthfully, it’s handsome in a timeless kind of way, something that might have been in a house in 1942 or 1989 or, well, 2018, and it’s stubborn and tall and stately and very American and — oh my God, it’s a metonymy for Mr. Magpie.

Thank you, damned cedar dresser, for all you do.

Post-Scripts: Home Update.

+This pendant light fixture (seen at the top of this post in the home of Nicola Bathie, along with these acrylic counter stools) is SO RAD. I love its artsiness and unique texture. One day…

+In all honesty, I would still gladly cede the damned cedar dresser for this beauty, which I have eyed for years. (Or upgrade to this more modern take on the cedar dresser.)

+I have wanted a Paule Marrot framed textile to hang over our upholstered bed for the last five or six years. But in our Chicago home, we decided to outfit the first floor first, as we thought it would see the most use and foot traffic, and so we invested in artwork and forever pieces of furniture down there and we sold the house before we were ready to tackle our bedroom. And now that we’ve moved to New York, Mr. Magpie has smartly cautioned against buying anything specific to our apartment, as we will likely move in the next few years.

+We are finally upgrading our bedding as it is looking a little threadbare after five years of use! I am debating between repurchasing the Restoration Hardware Italian Hotel set (which we currently have in the stone finish — I am impressed with the quality! — and you can get the look for less with this set) or trying something new. I have long loved the scalloped edges of the Matouk Butterfield collection, and have also posted quite a bit about Hill House Home’s Waverly collection. Decisions, decisions….

+This is a really sleek treatment for a modern home with a fireplace.

+I finally decided on a lamp for my desk: this one in lavender. Only to find that it had just sold out — permanently! — in the lavender color. (It’s been discontinued!) Sob. I am debating whether to just get it in white or re-start the search. Who knew picking a lamp could be such an arduous journey?

+I own a set of hard placemats like these that we use constantly — so much easier to keep clean that the fabric ones I own since I’m constantly corralling stray bits of food and drippy bowls and sticky utensils from minimagpie’s high chair. Strongly recommend!

+I’ve heard really good things about this memory foam bath mat, especially for parents who are often kneeling at the bath tub to bathe their little ones. I currently use this Puj kneeler and it’s a little slice of heaven though I do wish it were a little bit bigger. I’m petite, too!

+My New York apartment judges me.

+Love this runner for fall — even for a Thanksgiving tablescape. I’d pair it with greenery like mini boxwoods.

+I always get a lot of questions about the leaning bookshelves in our apartment — they are Crate & Barrel, and I love them because they stow a ton of books without blocking any light in our apartment.

+Superfun addition to a nursery.

+Unrelated, but I love this stationery for a little boy — and these birthday cards for a dog lover!

+The best gear for small apartments and an exhaustive roundup of my favorite snags for home.

My Latest Snag: The Square Neckline Blouse.

#Turbothot: On Elizabeth Holmes, Female Entrepeneurship, + Bad Blood.

Post Scripts: Things You Need to Know About.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 1: Everlane Cashmere Crewneck.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 2: The Puff-Sleeved Blouse.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 3: The Plaid Coat.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 4: The V-Neck Flat.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 5: The Fuzzy Fleece.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 6: The Silk Shantung Blouse.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 7: The Ice Blue Coat.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 8: The Chunky Marled Sweater.

Affordable Luxury Pick No. 9: The Bow-Sleeved Dress.