The sales are RAGING. Sharing a few of my favorite purchases so far:
+All Minnow Swim is 20% off with code MORESUNSHINE. These suits rarely go on sale, so I already purchased this one for next summer for mini!
+J. Crew is running 40% off everything (when are they not, though…) and now that they offer free shipping (hallelujah), it makes snapping up a few purchases too difficult to resist. I am testing out a new silhouette in the form of these jeans (can I pull them off?!) and I stocked up on a few of these super-soft tees. Caveat: I find that J. Crew tees do not hold up well over time, but how can you resist an $8 white tee that fits oh so well?! Also, have to have this.
+Neiman’s is offering $100 off a purchase of $400 or more, so now is a good time to invest in fall footwear if you’re going to take the plunge. How major are these? (Ahem!)
+Williams-Sonoma is offering 20% off plus free shipping. So many of my favorite kitchen/home products are from WS (full list here) — a perfect time to stock up on the perfect pantry/kitchen towels.
I listened to an excellent podcast by The New York Times’ Still Processing series on Goop and Gwyneth Paltrow the other day, and it fed my fascination with and sometime aversion to the brand. In the podcast (“We Got Goop’d”), two culture critics dissect how and why Gwyneth Paltrow has become the avatar for “wellness” and muse over what the hell “wellness” means anyway. (They make the point that the term is so overused as to be diffuse and devoid of all meaning. Nowadays, we unblinkingly see “wellness” as synonymous with anything from acai berry and oat milk to stretching and journaling to non-western medicinal practices.) But perhaps the most interesting part of the podcast was their exploration of GP herself and why she is so deeply polarizing. A few of their hypotheses that stood out (not sure that I agree with all of these):
+Culturally, we tend not to like when a woman stops doing one thing and assumes a new role. In this case, we were comfortable with GP the actress (quite a good one, too) and upset when she reinvented herself as the wellness guru and entrepreneur she has become.
+GP’s tremendous privilege gets in the way of pretty much everything she does, and it undermines or obfuscates her message. In one anecdote, a guest commentator recalls a conversation she once had with GP about her past struggles. GP talks about the sudden death of her father but contextualizes her grief by noting that her father had taken her entire family on a luxury trip to Italy to celebrate her birthday when he fell ill. The commentator notes that it’s difficult to get beyond the vision of being skirted off on an extravagant vacation in Italy for a birthday, and it undercuts the empathy she should feel. Oprah, by contrast, has a well-known personal history of abuse and poverty, and so we are more likely to “forgive” or applaud her wealth than we would Gwyneth’s, especially when the latter tends to describe herself as “self-made.”
+Gwyneth’s entire business is predicated upon the fact that she has answers for you when your doctor does not. An unexplained, persistent eye twitch? A vague feeling of exhaustion no doctor seems able to diagnose? A drop in libido? GP has just the thing for you. (Let’s set aside the fact that that thing bears a 1000% markup, or is a clever re-marketing or co-opting of a practice used for centuries elsewhere, possibly to dubious effect.) This, in fact, seems to be the centerpoint of the success of the Goop brand: the desperate desire of many women to self-improve or to not be dismissed for their various anatomical concerns — and their simultaneous scorn for the ease and smugness of GP’s response. (“B12!”; “Earthing!”; “More water!”) I found this particular hypothesis the most stirring of the set, and it formed a nice extension of some of the early musings I had on her overpathologization. Along these lines, one of the commentators in the podccast notes that she had a particularly traumatic birth experience for her first on, and she was distraught for months after. She sought help from every doctor and practitioner and wellness expert she could find. At one point, she went into someone’s office and laid on a table and without so much as laying a finger on her, the practitioner said: “Oh, I know the problem. You still have anesthetics in your system.” And she waved her hands over the woman’s body to extract the excess. The woman said she left, and she felt better. She felt better because it was the first time she hadn’t been written off or dismissed — she had been heard and acknowledged. I can completely relate to this feeling, and to the general concept of a diagnosis being the second best thing to recovery/wellness. GP affords many women that opportunity when traditional doctors come up short. It’s just — at least in the estimation of these commentators — a bit offensive or offputting when the answer is delivered with the seeming self-assurance and palliative simplicity that GP represents. (“It’s All Easy” is, after all, the title of her cookbook.) For many of us, the commentators point out, it’s never that easy.
I found the podcast deeply perceptive and provoking. I especially appreciated their head-on probe into the perception of Gwyneth’s privilege, and whether this in and of itself precludes her from being beloved by society, regardless of her achievements. (It’s also interesting to think about whether she would be received differently if she were a man with the same kind of background and business. What other actors and celebrities have switched careers, migrating into business or politics in a second life? Do we treat men differently from women when they “break the rules” and reinvent?)
What were your thoughts on this?
(Alison, will be waiting patiently for your perspective on this in particular.)
Post-Scripts: A Perfect Fall Coat.
From the deeply provocative to the frivolous: let me know share some contenders for a new fall coat.
+My top pick is this pale blue plaid Ganni coat, which is literal perfection. I love the pastel color, the length, the drama, the pattern. SO CHIC. Would also look great with uber-trendy white booties…
+This is elegant in shape and color (and under $150).
P.S. A few of you have asked for a less expensive version of the kitten heel bootie I’m planning on buying for fall. This is super similar, and even comes in stark white! I also like these in the python print.
P.P.S. Speaking of PUFF sleeves (!!!): I need this! And this sweater looks like heaven. Which colorway?!
By: Jen Shoop
I cannot get the vision of this ultra-chic nursery designed by Dina Bandman out of my mind. It is complete perfection, and a reminder that lucite/acrylic can be a fresh and surprisingly sophisticated material to incorporate into any room. That De Gournay wallpaper though! Be still my heart.
Literal perfection. The crib is NUTS (in a good way) — and you can replicate the look with this pricey style (get a slightly milder look for less with this). Alternately, you could go for a straight forward white crib and add acrylic/lucite statements elsewhere in the form of this UNBELIEVABLE book case (I really need this for mini). Get the nursery look with this and the other gorgeous pieces below. Click on images to access product details OR see links below (along with some alternates!)
+Well-priced yellow sconces! They come in a few other fab colors, too — I love that blue! These from C+B also nail the vibe.
+Acrylic and metallic diaper storage. I am in love with the acrylic drawer organizers, too — you could replicate with a few of these, though I use these in mini’s dresser drawers to keep her socks, ointments, diapers, etc stowed neatly.
All summer long, I have been wearing an inexpensive pair of gold sandals with two straps (one across the toes, one across the top of the foot) that I bought at J. Crew a few seasons back. They go with everything, and I’ve worn them into the ground. I have been thinking that I need a replacement pair and then I stumbled upon the snap below on Insta and thought: aha, I need those in the white. Turns out they are Ancient Greek’s Clio sandal and they have a cult following. Will definitely be ordering for next summer — and wearing with everything.
Pick No. 3: The Bold Upholstery.
I mentioned this recently, but I am contemplating changing up my living room vibe by snagging some new pillows and/or drapes. For context, we have a Stark Antelope Rug and this Jayson Home couch in a heathered linen brown color along with blue barrel chairs that look like this (can’t find the exact style anymore, but we did get them from One King’s Lane two years ago) and a blue velvet upholstered ottoman we use as a coffee table somewhat similar to this. We currently have JP&J Baker’s hydrangea print pillow covers mixed in with some orange-red textured throw pillows, but everything feels tired to me right now. I want to lighten up the mood with some brighter, more whimsical prints and colors. I was inspired by the bold colors and prints in this California home. They also use the Stark antelope carpet but pair with a lot of bright, splashy patterns. I’m thinking of maybe introducing a bolder blue print drape like Thibaut’s Jacobean pattern or Schumacher’s Huntington Gardens. I love Brunschwig & Fils’ Les Touches but worry it might be too much against an animal print rug with a similar pattern. Alternately, could leave the drapes simple in a linen weave in a neutral color and amp up the drama with pillows in Shumacher’s chinoserie or Kate Spade’s fiery kravet or Peter Dunham’s fig leaf, which I’ve long loved. Or maybe Caitlin Wilson’s chinoserie? Love the navy!
I’ve been debating over kitten heel booties for the past few weeks as my fall boot: will I go for the Aquazzura Quant (shown below) or the Alexandre Birman Kittie? But I walked by the Alexandre Birman shop on Madison Ave last Saturday and it settled the matter: I am now determined to own these sparklers. They might look a little loud for everyday wear, but if you see them in person, you’ll note that they’re a gunmetal color and are not ridiculously sparkly. I think they’ll look EPIC with skinny denim and a black sweater or simple white blouse or, really, anything at all. I’m in love.
Pick No. 6: The Puff Sleeve.
No style feels more fresh and on-trend than a puff sleeve right now. I love following the blogger/designer Arielle Charnas of Something Navy and she has been wearing a ton of this style — I am so on board! (She’s wearing this Amanda Uprichard blouse at the top and one of her soon-to-be released styles from her Something Navy brand at the bottom — get the look with this.)
I am in love with The Laundress’s Crease Release (available in larger size here). When I don’t have time to iron or steam, I use this and it works like a charm — and makes your clothes smell incredible. I also have gotten into the habit of a self-performed “turn down service” — it’s a small step but it makes bedtime feel so luxurious! Before I wash my face, I take off all the throw pillows and lay our sleeping pillows flat at the head of the bed and then pull the duvet up from the foot of the bed and fold it back midway. I will often spritz some crease release onto the pillows or the duvet and tuck the sheets in extra tight. I’m reading this back and thinking — “you are a weirdo!” — but it makes bedtime so, so inviting. Try it! I also currently have their detergent in my cart along with their stain brush and fabric fresh spray (namely for our upholstered furniture, which is constantly under siege by mini and our dog!). I already have a bunch of other Laundress products — I love their wool shampoo and their delicates wash for bras.
Pick No. 8: The Jackie O. Set.
I have nowhere to wear this, but I love this little suit set from Sandro (on sale): jacket and skirt. Incidentally, it, too, would look PERFECT with those sequinned Alexandre Birman booties…
Pick No. 9: The Back-to-School Bag.
I shared some reflections on school recently and it had me longing for that back-to-school energy. I have raved for a long time about the quality and style of Cuyana’s totes for travel, and they’ve now released a perfect back-to-school bag — a structured tote. The main issue with their classic totes is that they do not stand up on their own. This one comes with a laptop sleeve and will stand on its own! Perfect for students. (Alison!!! Here’s your answer!)
Pick No. 10: The Back-to-School Mule.
Speaking of BTS, my top pick for a fall shoe for school (and I’m sorry for the number of shoes featured in this roundup!) is the Aquazzura Mondaine flat (different colorway here). These are sophisticated and trendy without being too loud, and can be worn just as easily with a skirt/dress as they can with jeans.
Mr. Magpie and I went to Citi Field to root on the Nats last Friday and it was all kinds of perfect, even when we were silently, separately, simultaneously fuming over the overcrowded 7 train we took to get there, on which an older couple kept repositioning their hands and arms around the pole Mr. Magpie and I had been hanging onto until I was somehow twelve people away from Mr. Magpie and Mr. Magpie was flattened against the door of the train, forced into an awkward c curve over the woman’s head in a desperate attempt to hold on. We were both annoyed, especially after a backpack wearer kept bumping into me, entirely unaware of his encroachment on my personal space — but then we caught eyes across the train and burst into laughter.
We ate the worst food: greasy, stomach-turning popcorn, foot long hot dogs, and soggy but still curiously palatable french fries. I drank what we call “airplane wine” — that sugar-y, inexpensive swill they serve on all airplanes that tastes nothing like actual wine, but will do in a pinch. We sat directly behind the Nats dugout: “In solidarity with the Nats,” Mr. Magpie explained, gesturing to the Mets-fan-packed stadium. I marveled over Mr. Magpie’s love of the game, his attentiveness to details like a batter’s low stance, a pitcher’s wind-up, the walk up songs of the various players. (What would yours be?) Like all parents on a date, we gabbed about mini. We gossiped about our seatmates, including a young man who appeared to be attending the game on his own, eating a hot dog and peanuts in silence. (Mr. Magpie nudged me and reminded me of the solo gentleman diner we’d seen in a restaurant in Chicago that we’d both been so moved by.) At one point, Mr. Magpie grumbled something to himself and I learned that he was offput by a father and son duo; the son had been trying to wave down a hot dog vendor meandering through the seats, and the father had feebly and mutedly attempted to do the same, holding up his hand at half-staff. “You gotta teach your kid to stick up for himself!” Mr. Magpie explained. “The dad should have shown him how to flag down that dog guy!” In short, the conversation roamed from the transitory to the heart-held truth.
We left at the end of the seventh inning stretch and played Words with Friends sitting next to one another on a far emptier 7 train home. A born again Christian struck up conversation with Mr. Magpie, who gamely chatted along before realizing, two minutes in, as he later explained: “He was a little too nice. I started to wonder what he wanted. Then I noticed the tag on his shirt: Elder Lee.” We laughed about that, about a girl who got aboard the train and smooshed her whole body against the far side of the car wall despite the fact that our car was vacant, about an older woman who would not stop crinkling her plastic water bottle and dropping bits of trash all over the place. You know, the telltale signs you’re living in New York.
When we emerged at Columbus Circle, we stopped at a soft serve truck and paid $11 for two small cones — his chocolate-dipped, mine rainbow-sprinkle-covered. $11. Yet another telltale sign you’re living in New York. Two inebriated men yammered behind us while we waited, standing just a little too close and talking just a little too loud for comfort. Mr. Magpie and I exchanged a glance. But as we walked away, one of them said: “Hey! Hey! Go Nats!”
“Right on,” Mr. Magpie said, and it was kind of the cherry on top of our imperfectly perfect night, checkered with mild nuisances and endearing redemptions. As we walked into our building, the doorman noticed our smiles and our dripping cones (I believe there still may be a stray sprinkle or two in our elevator) and said: “Enjoy.”
Joy is the right word.
The evening was the perfect way to recharge our batteries.
How do you recharge your batteries?
Post-Scripts.
+This is such a good price on a classic, mix-with-anything neutral-colored pillow. I have been contemplating changing up the living room by introducing some new pillows and possibly swapping out the drapes for something bold; these pillows would be a good “palette cleanser.”
+These Supergas are on sale in the sweetest colors — love that lavender!
+These are supposed to be THE splurge toy to get kiddos. They simulate riding — when you push down and squeeze, it moves forward!
+Trying desperately to finish my current read to get to this, which has gotten great reviews. (Are you reading along with our book club?)
By: Jen Shoop
I loved the snap above of Amanda Woodward Brown (head of content for shoe designer Rupert Sanderson) with her two babies and her stunning polka dot dress. It was a reminder of my deep and abiding affection for polka dots (hellooooo, I just recently brought home this Saloni on serious sale in the red!), and had me considering the purchase of this discounted Caroline Constas confection. I also loved the two polka dotted looks on the chic peas below, Ulyana Boyko (get the look with this statement making Cynthia Rowley number, currently in consideration for a rehearsal dinner I’m attending in October, and ultra-covetable The Row Coco slides — or get the look for less with these) and Hayley Bloomingdale, who is wearing a LoveShackyFancy dress currently sold out (but available at RTR here or in a different color here). Note that HB is rocking the sneaks and dress look and CRUSHING IT! Also note that a Mansur Gavriel bag never goes out of style…
While we’re on the RDR train of thought: how much do you want a pair of her latest earring confection: these heart drops?! This woman has the magic, whimsical touch when it comes to statement earrings. Her famous bonbon earrings spawned trillions of lookalikes — and you can always count on her to release a new trend-setting style…
I’ve mentioned Cecilie Bahnsen a few times on this blog as a name to watch in fashion, and then I spotted my fashion icon Jenny Walton wearing one of her pieces and the love affair deepened. JW has flawless taste and can pull off even the most dramatic of shapes and styles with Audrey Hepburn-like aplomb. I’m currently lusting after this discounted Cecilie Bahnsen top and can only daydream of wearing something major like this to the Met Opera. Can you imagine?! Her use of thin, spaghetti-like straps to offset the volume of her dresses is magical. It made me temporarily obsessed with finding additional spaghetti-strap style pieces, like the one seen on this street style darling below. How about this in the ballet slipper pink for a Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars vibe? Or this, which has a very CB-like feel to it owing to its relaxed, high-fashion shape? Or maybe this? (Get the look for less with this style.)
Finally, I was truly inspired by the lavender-and-yellow color combination I stumbled upon at Hanna Andersson the other day. I immediately ordered mini a pair of lavender leggings and am anxiously awaiting the arrival of her first pair of slicker yellow Hunter rainboots. (Note that you can get 15% off your first order with code WELCOME. I am ALWAYS in search of little deals and steals like that! Alternately, you can get the look for less with these from Gap Kids.)
This splashy color combo had me wondering about wearing something like this lilac dress with a pair of yellow espadrilles I own — or maybe those $23 slides in the yellow! It also had me thinking again about that Aerin Lauder Lilac Path scent I mentioned yesterday (available in a rollerball here for $30 for those fearful of commitment) and adding a pair of these to my cart…
P.S. This is a fantastic wear-all-season sweater at a good price.
Happy Monday INDEED! Sephora is currently running its annual 20% off for VIBRouge members with code YESROUGE. (Starting Thursday the 30th, VIB members will get 15% off with YESVIB and Beauty Insiders (free to join) will get 10% off with code YESINSIDER. This is my most favorite discount of the year because cosmetics rarely go on sale. I am stocking up on my tinted moisturizer, regenerating facial cleanser, and DiorShow mascara. Basically — the things I know I will run out of and repurchase immediately. I’m also thinking I might buy a few of these to give as gifts to girlfriends/sisters for Christmas — I am obsessed.
But there are a few items on my wishlist I might indulge in, too:
+I got a sample of Ole Henriksen’s Cold Plunge Pore Mask and was obsessed with it. You look like a Smurf wearing it, but it feels like an arctic blast and really leaves skin clean.
+One of you wrote about how much you like Ole Henriksen’s facial cream and since I’m so enamored of his serum and mask, I might also buy some of this to see how I like it.
+I’m smitten with my Aerin Lauder Evening Rose scent (it even made my roundup of my favorite items purchased thus far in 2018!), but have heard magical things about their Lilac Path scent, described as both “crisp and delicate.” And, ya know, since lilacs hold a special place in my heart, I might just have to indulge.
+My sister is big into the line Drunk Elephant — she swears their nighttime oil has changed her skin — and I might pick up this mini-sized duo to test it on myself.
+I’ve been dying to try Charlotte Tillbury’s Face Filter, especially after the gorgeous and flawless skinned Grace Atwood recommended it!
P.S. I store most of my makeup in one of these cubes. It makes everything easy to find. I keep my makeup brushes upright in a decorative drinking glass and my lipsticks in one of these. I keep all of my curling irons, brushes, and hairdryers in a rattan storage bin and then a stack of inexpensive white washcloths in a smaller matching rattan bin. I found that I was ruining all my beloved towels (I love Yves Delorme’s Etoile towels because they are THE FLUFFIEST but they do not retain their color well over time — I’d go with white! — and I also love these Matouk Auberge towels with the squat monogram letter on the front!) with makeup smears! I love the look of these in a bathroom for stowing cotton balls, qtips, etc, but I already have a set of mercury glass ones I love (but can no longer find online).
I had to have this brand-new, darling Patagonia fleece for mini (psssst 15% off if you sign up for emails!) in the opal pink, though I debated purchasing it in the neutral/silver hue instead. I try not to overbuy in the pale pink category but it’s so hard to do with a little girl! I tend to force myself to consider reds, navies, etc — not everything needs to be pink! However, this one did 🙂 I also love this slightly chunkier style, which would have coordinated with this vest for me (in the ash color). For her dressier fall coat, I went with a red Mayoral toggle style, which will look darling with cableknit tights and her new L’Amour shoes — and maybe a plaid dress like this.
#Turbothot: Is Parenthood Easier or Harder Than You Expected?
Someone recently posed this question in a blog post and I had to think about it for a full afternoon before deciding that the answer is: both and neither. I say neither because I don’t feel I have struggled in making parenting decisions. I have made mistakes, of course, and have lamented them with an agony I’d never before felt (I once told her, “bad girl!” after she had, out of typical toddler frustration, hit me in the face, and then I cried quietly in the other room — how could I have talked to her like that? Like she was a dog?! Ahhh!). But for the most part, I feel that I have stayed true to myself and to my aspirations to listen and observe and react rather than impose or direct or assume. Parenting my daughter feels natural to me, neither harder nor easier than I expected — it just is. It has been an exertion, but an instinctual one.
At the same time, I say parenting has been easier than expected because the things I thought would be hard — little sleep and lots of poop — have not given me much trouble, possibly because I had heard so much about them while pregnant and had calibrated my expectations appropriately. Yes, we lost a lot of sleep during those early months (actually, we lost a lot of sleep for twelve months because mini did not sleep through the night until a year), but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. You get into a rhythm and you just do it. There aren’t any alternatives, I figured, so I might as well accept it and understand that it’s just a season of life. And the poop/pee/spit-up never phased me either — with the exception of one horrific blowout at a restaurant that involved poop up to mini’s NECK. To this day, I have no words to explain my confusion and horror at the vision of us in that well-heeled restaurant. (How was it even physically possible?) Finally, I have learned over time that things I have dreaded — changing nap routines, transitioning out of the swaddle, taking away her bottle at bedtime — have gone much more smoothly than anticipated. And so I have learned that sometimes I hype things up in my mind only to find myself pleasantly surprised by mini’s adaptability.
But I say parenting has been harder for two reasons. First: I truly did not understand how all-consuming a child is and how intense and abrupt it would feel to go from only worrying about myself and Mr. Magpie to being entirely tethered to a child. When mini was really little and feeding every two hours or so, it felt impossible to do anything outside of the house. Even trips to the grocery had to be carefully orchestrated. I’d have to be dressed and ready to leave, and have mini dressed and her bag packed, just so that I could feed her and then immediately scoot out the door to have 30 minutes of frenzied time at the grocery before rushing back to unpack and then get ready for her next feed. (This was exacerbated by the fact that I had to supplement ever feed with a bottle, so feeding her took close to forty five minutes! I also never got into a routine with pumping, which I think would have freed me up a bit more. At the time, I felt that since I had an undersupply, I needed to breastfeed her every single time I could because I knew the bottle was inevitably coming after, and I longed for that connection to her. But you live and learn. I think I might do things differently if I had the advantage of hindsight.) Now, too, it often feels like I’m racing against the clock, frenetically trying to accomplish as much as I can while she naps or while I have one hour of time to run errands on my own. Everything is time-boxed. There’s little room for spontaneity or last-minute plans or oops-I’m-running-lates. Honestly, it was a startling awakening, one that still occasionally catches me off-guard, a year and a half in. I have of course come to accept it; after all, I had thirty-three years to attend to myself and my own desires and plans. Still, it is life-changing in a deep and profound way that I hadn’t intuited. In fact, before mini was born, I had the misperception that staying at home with mini would involve playing games, reading books, feeding, bathing, etc — but would also entail loads of downtime to blog, catch up on TV, read. I anticipated ample free time to get things done and to tend to myself while she was asleep or playing happily by herself. I thought: “Even if she’s awake, can’t I be simultaneously on the phone? Or blogging? Or reading?” It simply does not work that way. With time, I have figured out how to get household chores done with her in tow — making the bed, for example, has become a game where I throw all the pillows on the ground and she flops into them, giggling, while I quickly tuck in the sheets and fold the duvet; washing my face and applying my makeup is only doable because she can then play with her bath toys for ten minutes at my feet — which she otherwise does not see until bath-time; folding laundry involves preoccupying her with all of my clean underwear, which she inexplicably enjoys placing around her neck like necklaces; emptying the dishwasher requires ferreting out a couple of bowls and spatulas for to enjoy while fenced inside the kitchen with me behind the dog gate. Why are all of these diversions necessary, you might wonder? Because otherwise I am prone to walk out to my child standing on top of the arm of a couch, or shaking a box of matches, or playing with the cord of a lamp. (These things have all happened.) If she is out of my sight for more than a few seconds and things are silent, I have to drop everything to check on her. In short, accomplishing even perfunctory household tasks requires thoughtfulness, craftiness, supervision, and planning. So forget about trying to write or read–sometimes even dashing into the bathroom to pee can be a dicy proposition! Of course, much of my day is fun and I cherish her companionship. I love chatting with her, reading to her, singing to her, taking her on various errands and excursions, watching her toddle around with her dollbabies. Sometimes I am observing her in a ballet class or marveling at her running — she can run! — around the fountain at Lincoln Center and I have to pinch myself: I am so lucky to have the opportunity to spend half of my week with her by myself. But make no mistake about it: it is exhausting, physically-demanding, and all-consuming. My time is never my own.
And the second reason why I say it is much harder than expected: the depth of emotion! The tenderness! I can scarcely talk about her without a lump in my throat. She is my everything — the best part of me, the best part of my day. When she is sick, I am beside myself with worry. (Oh, her first fever!) When she is screaming and wrapping her arms around my legs because she doesn’t want me to leave, I wonder if I should just cancel my plans. When she is wailing from her crib and we have made up our minds to let her cry it out, it drives me insane: I want to go to her, pick her up, soothe her. It is shockingly painful. The ferocity and intensity of emotion are unlike anything I’ve ever felt before in my life — and that makes parenthood an emotional minefield.
+I don’t know why, but one of my favorite pairs of LR boots EVER (I own them in two colors and still wear them like six or seven seasons after I purchased them) are on sale for as low as $82 (regularly $695) in select colors and sizes here…
+I like the dimensions of this romper for a bachelorette. The shorts are a little longer than you might expect and that affords the entire look a bit more elegance!
By: Jen Shoop
I have a major girl crush (and life crush) on Alice Naylor-Leyland, Vogue contributor and model. Her Instagram is #goals — stately country houses, sophisticated trips to Italy, timeless yet on-trend floaty frocks and straw bags, perfectly un-done cornsilk blond hair, impeccably dressed children. Can I be her? I especially love her chevron rainbow bag (shown above), a special collaboration with Misela, and the Sandro broderie anglaise dress shown in the selfie a few snaps down. (You can get a similar vibe for less with this blouse — under $100! — or this dress.) I’m also fairly confident her son is wearing ultra chic swim trunks by Vilbrequin — what a little style-setter! More picks below…
How to get that Alice Naylor-Leyland look…
Click images to access details or see my notes below — which include links to less expensive alternatives!
P.S. I couldn’t work this in to the above, but this blouse is right up her alley and very well-priced, and I saw her sporting this voluminous LWD from new-to-me label Maurie + Eve!
P.P.P.S. I had one of these insulated, lidded tumblers for ice water that I used ALL THE TIME while out and about with mini, and then mini took a tumble while holding it and it broke. I liked that model, but now wonder if there are other options I should know about. This? This? One of these? Any recs welcome…
P.P.P.P.S. Starting today, VIBRouge members get 20% off their purchase with code YESROUGE. UMMM now is the time to stock up on everything here. Or at least the skincare products that changed my life!
By: Jen Shoop
*Isn’t the baby above darling?! She’s not mine but she looks a lot like mini and I adore her outfit!
I did a full round-up of my favorite infant gear here (and travel-specific baby gear here), but in the spirit of this roundup, I thought I’d give you a quick update/snapshot as to my favorite gear for mini right now. Mini is currently 17 months old (almost 18 months) and these are products I use daily and could not live without:
+Bugaboo Snack Tray. This attachment is MAJOR and I strongly recommend it for fellow Bugaboo moms. I was running into an issue where mini would throw her snack cup overboard the minute she’d finish it, and I got tired of fishing them out of city gutters (sick). This pre-empts the problem. I also like that it keeps her water handy and in front of her at all time during these hot summer months! The design is clever, too; you can tilt it into three positions depending on whether your babe needs easier access to his/her snack, and you can swing the tray open for ease when lifting your kiddo in or out of the stroller. It’s also super easy to clean. (No hidden nooks and crannies.)
+Camelbak water bottles. I wrote about this recently, but I love these for summertime! They hold a lot more water than a lot of other kiddo water cups, they have a smart design (you can flip down the nozzle when not in use so it doesn’t spill / if thrown on the ground, the spout isn’t exposed to dirt), and they are easy to clean. I also love the designs! We have the cherry print and the tiger print.
+OXO wipes dispenser. Do you need this? Yes. YES. I think I will start gifting these to every new mom-to-be. The weighted plate ensures you aren’t pulling out like 2398098098 wipes at once, and that you can extract wipes with just one hand (clutch). The top also opens with the tap of a finger so it requires no fuss (and again, only one hand) to open. I cannot live without this. I also own and love a few of their travel dispensers. Both ensure that I can buy wipes in bulk (these are my favorite — unscented and well moistened) and just reload them when needed.
+For travel when you may not have access to a true tub (or when your child is too little for a big tub), I absolutely love this Munchkin inflatable one. It also provided hours of entertainment for my nieces and nephews on a recent trip! My only gripe is that it is HARD to inflate.
+Dock + Bay Travel Towel. This super thin towel is highly absorbent. I love it because it folds up into a pretty little square and I can keep it in my diaper bag / the basket beneath my stroller without it taking up much real estate (vs. the bulk of a traditional beach towel). It’s perfect for days when I’m out and about and mini invariably ends up playing with a sprinkler or water feature or at splash pad. One of you magpies (Jen?) mentioned you use a Turkish Towel for the same reason — absorbent, but easy to fold up and pack away without sacrificing too much space.
+Bento box tupperware. I love this sturdy tupperware for mini’s lunches al fresco. They are a lot stiffer than any plastic tupperware I’ve ever owned in the past and they keep all components of her lunch separate.
+EZPZ minimats. These were so, so helpful when mini started throwing food all over the place / smearing it everywhere. For some reason these trays focused her and she would tend to eat everything in front of her. She’s since learned how to flip the minimat over and fling food anyway, but I still like these. They are dishwasher safe and microwave friendly and they affix themselves to the surface of a table/tray.
+Phil & Ted’s High Chair. This easy-to-clean, easy-to-assemble high chair has been a beloved addition to our household. I love that you can take it apart and take it with you when you travel, which we’ve done several times. (Not: It does not fold up super small, but at least you can take it apart and pop it back together with no issue!) I’m also excited that it converts into a child’s chair when she’s outgrown the high chair phase!
+Gathre mats. I own a few in the mini size that I use as a changing pad in my diaper bag, and one in the high chair size that we place beneath her high chair. (Great for aforementioned food flinging.) I like these most of all because they are easy to wipe clean and they fold up into a small square — so they don’t take up much real estate in my bag, and the high chair one can be folded and tucked into a drawer or even into the seat of her high chair when not in use.
+Bumkin bibs. These are SO wonderful for those who — like us — are short on shelf and drawer space. I can fold these and lay them flat! I also keep one in my diaper bag and it takes up literally no space. They’re kind of a pain to dry in the sense that we tend to rinse them off and then drape them over the sink spigot since they don’t stand upright on their own. However, I love also that I can throw them in the wash (which I do maybe once a week?) for a deeper clean. I also have one of these Baby Bjorn bibs, which is convenient from a wipe clean and stand dry perspective, but they require more real estate!
+Igor Tenis Sandals. A cute alternative to her Native Shoes for days at the park when she might get wet! Love these.
+Pottery Barn Wet/Dry Bag. The best for wet swimsuits/spills OR stowing a spare change of clothes.
+Poppy Bows. My favorite source for bows! And mini is rarely without one…
+Monogrammed Bow Holder. I went from fishing around in an overflowing bin to being able to see all of her bows at once (organized!)
+Babyzen Yoyo Travel Stroller. Simply the best. I’ve written about this a number of times so won’t bore you with the details but I use this any time I’m taking the subway with mini.
+Think King Stroller Hooks. These inobtrusive, repositionable stroller hooks are magic. I love that they don’t clutter the handle bar of the stroller but can hold quite a bit of weight and can be taken off/repositioned when needed.
+Dreft Stain Remover. This is THE BEST stain remover EVER. We use it on our own clothing, too! It truly gets any stain out of mini’s clothing — and if you’re reading this, you probably know how often that happens with a 1.5 year old.
+Melissa and Doug Giant Coloring Pad and Crayola Jumbo Crayons. These occupy about 1/8th of our days inside right now. She prefers the jumbo crayons to the egg-shaped ones for some reason — easier to grip and control, I think.
+Crate and Barrel Blackout Curtains. I only wish I’d thought to install these earlier…we’ve added about two hours of sleep to our household! AMEN!
Minimagpie Items on My Radar for Purchase RN.
+Mr. Magpie and I recently had dinner at a restaurant that provided us with one of these Inglesina “lobster” hook-on high-chairs that clips right onto the side of a table. We were literally astounded. What a genius little invention for those low on space! We even talked about buying one just to bring with us if we know a restaurant doesn’t offer high chairs. Not sure we need it, but man were we impressed with it!
+Thinkbaby Cup. We’re still a long while away from permitting mini to drink from a cup (she’s already ruined half of our upholstered belongings and rugs with A BOTTLE), but every now and then she loves to drink sips of water from my cup. I’m thinking of adding this to the mix under supervision. You can also get a whole coordinatedThinkbaby set of stainless steel feeding gear here, which I might do.
+Lunchbots Stainless Steel bento box. For when mini needs more of a formal lunchbox! We are contemplating whether or not to send her to a twos program next fall, so of course I’m already scouting all the gear.
+A felt nativity set to bring with us to Church. Snacks and books keep her occupied until somewhere around the consecration — aka, the holiest part of the Mass — when I am in turn relegated to the vestibule. I’m wondering if buying her a specific set of Church toys that we only give her at Church will help?
+I was on the hunt for an area rug for mini’s nursery months ago and then my interest peetered out. Now I’m back on the prowl — this or this?
By: Jen Shoop
I have a pair of salient and entirely discordant memories that vie for my attention when I think about school, which I often do around this time of year. The first took place in the dingy basement of Brooks Hall (shown above), a Gothic style anthropology building out of keeping with the rest of the University of Virginia’s columned Jeffersonian buildings. There, I took an advanced elective in Folklore with Professor Charles “Chuck” Perdue who — I have just learned, sadly — has since passed away. The class was odd in many ways, and not only because of its cramped, damp location (though I have learned that space is formative of experience), where I would often find myself wedged in a corner behind a load-bearing post, unable to see the professor and half of my classmates.
“And it stoned me like jelly roll,” came the bemused voice of Chuck Perdue from somewhere in that dimly lit classroom (was it even a classroom, I now wonder?) one morning, disembodied, floating into the ether. He was quoting Van Morrison at the time. I’ll never forget that particular stretch of class because I learned that “jelly roll” was short-hand for a woman’s sexual organs — or, maybe, heroin.
As is often the case, the class and its curriculum mirrored its instructor: a bit free-form, a bit out-there, a bit odd. Why, exactly, was I learning about the double meaning of jelly roll in the basement of an old anthropology building from an incorporeal voice amidst a truly oddball assortment of classmates — some lacrosse types who had probably heard Professor Purdue was “cool” and “an easy grader,” and some hardcore lit types like myself pushing their glasses up their noses as they mimeographed every word from the professor’s mouth?
I asked myself these kinds of self-distancing questions many times, finding the class difficult to participate in, as Professor Purdue favored “real life” questions rather than the technical ones with which I more commonly excelled. There was no “let’s talk about metonymy.” References to iambic pentameter and alliteration were nil. Instead, for our one and only graded assignment, Professor Purdue told us to “pick a topic and write a paper about it.”
Oh, Lord. I was not cut out for such wooliness.
I hunted for a suitable topic for weeks and finally decided to write about Nick Drake, a British folk musician whose haunting song “Pink Moon” had been used in a VW commercial a couple of years earlier. I had loved the song and the commercial at the time; its sound was artsy and evocative and fetchingly esoteric (“oh you listen to Britney Spears? I’m into Nick Drake these days”), and it made me want to drive a VW. I’d read somewhere that the commercial had “made folk cool again.” And so, with the sophomoric linearity I then possessed, I thought: “folk music cool again…folklore class…done.”
I wrote a long piece explaining how Nick Drake fit into the folk music tradition. I used scholarly articles defining “folk” as a genre and reviews of Nick Drake’s album to piece it together. I worked hard on it, as I always did. I edited it. I turned it in early. I receive an A on it. But I was dismayed to find, in scrawled writing at the foot of the fourth and final page:
“Well argued and thoughtful. But why must Nick Drake be classified as folk? Who cares?”
Who cares.
Who cares?!
I was astounded. I felt something like anger flare inside. My cheeks reddened. Who cares indeed! Well — he should care! He’s the folk expert! And what, exactly, am I doing studying literature if the professors themselves don’t care about such classifications?
My huffiness gradually resided as I traipsed the familiar walk north on Rugby Road. In its lieu, everything I had taken for granted about academia slowly and uncomfortably unspooled before me. I saw for the first time my studies in a new light, apprehending the distinction between literary analyses that instruct us, that teach us, that help us wrap our arms around life’s experiences — and ones that scuttle into academese, existing solely for the purpose of esoteric debate. Yes, one could argue that Nick Drake was a folklorist, or that he was not, but what, in the end, did such channels of inquiry achieve for us in the vacuum of a classroom or, worse, a one-sided paper?
(Nothing.)
Professor Purdue, in two inches of scribbled ball-point ink, had entirely reshaped my understanding of what I was supposed to be doing at school. He had tossed me out of the ivory tower, and I had landed — well, deep in the basement of an old anthropology building.
Several years later, I sat in a third floor classroom of a stately stone building at Georgetown University that was outfitted with long tables suggestive of the seminar-type classwork I was undertaking as a graduate student. In strode Professor Wu, a formidable-looking Brit who ran his classroom with the kind of structure and formality of a German automaker. I would have expected and appreciated his style as an undergraduate coming out of a rather formal prep school, but now found it startlingly out of keeping with my graduate program’s otherwise exploratory and forgiving ethos. I can’t quite remember what was said, but someone’s off-handed comment about one of the beloved Coleridge poems at the heart of the curriculum led the class to a wheel-screeching halt. I can still recall the weight of his appraising silence, his hawk-like stare of disapproval, and then the sharp turn in the class’s trajectory as he proceeded to launch into a line-by-line reading and annotation of the poem. All of us in the classroom — including a particularly free-spirited classmate who had introduced herself earlier in that class by saying: “I’m Kate, and I like puddles” (oh Lord have mercy, English majors) — sat frozen, eyes on the pages in front of us, scarcely breathing. I remember worrying for my seatmate, who had the wrong edition of the book. I hoped Professor Wu wouldn’t notice. (He did.)
I left that class in a kind of ecstasy. My heart was racing. I could hardly wait to get home and read, carefully, at that white desk beneath the window of my garden apartment, our assignment for the week following. I was determined to come to class not only prepared but masterful. He had restored to me a sense of righteousness in my lingering over every last syllable and punctuation in a given text. His precision, his seriousness in the reading of that poem, each phrase — each word! — a door to dozens of different meanings and contexts and possible interpretations reminded me that there is beauty and reward in such mental exertion. He made me feel as though the enterprise of graduate school was worthy at a time when friends of friends (most of whom worked in finance or consulting) tended to enjoy asking me what the hell I was going to do with an advanced degree in literature.
And so what do I make of these two extremes now, so far away from the classroom? On the one hand, we have a down-to-earth insistence on tying study to the real world, a reluctance to placing too much importance on the argot and apparatus of scholarship. The who cares? of it all. And on the other hand, in answer to that last query: Professor Wu’s “Well, I do.” A recognition of the art of scholarship, an exulting in the details.
Nowadays, I can occupy both roles, I think, possibly to the frustration of those sitting in my company. “And so what?” I might ask, when I find myself at the outer reaches of the recondite. (Maybe we just collect to collect?) And just as easily, I might say: “But I like it here. Look at the dip of the syllable here, at the echo and rattle of bone there.”
+I was completely out of ideas for my mom’s birthday earlier this week, so I skimmed through this post and this post, but I’d given her almost everything on both lists, or knew she already had one of whatever I was considering. I ended up giving her one of these foldable Scout bags which is one of my absolute favorite things to travel with — and she travels A LOT. I find that it’s convenient to have a decent-sized tote bag on vacation to throw random stuff together for a trip to to the beach or the pool or even just to stow laundry or miscellaneous new purchases in.
+These black suede flats would be a work wardrobe WORKHORSE. Unfussy but stylish. Currently 40% off!
+You must watch the Netflix original movie “To All the Boys I Loved Before.” It’s like an old school John Hughes-esque rom com BUT modernized in some meaningful ways. I adored it.
By: Jen Shoop
Cooler weather! It’s around the corner! I’ve already been daydreaming about my fall wardrobe (P.S. – should I go for the Quant or the Kitty for my fall boot?! I love both of these brands so much. Also debating whether to do an animal print or go practical with black or even trendy white), but I’ve done a deeper dive on refreshing my sweater game in anticipation…
+This is very on-trend for a good price. I like it in the millennial pink color, but there are a bunch of options!
+I’m drawn to the dimensions of this cable knit. And what a fun color! I’m into that kelly green hue right now — I am also eyeing these fun slides in the same color (on sale!).
+A classic. I’d order a size up and wear with skinny jeans and some smoking shoes. I want to curl up in a window with a cup of coffee and a good book in that outfit.
+Speaking of classic — I adore this flag sweater from RL. It’s the perfect back-to-school look, even if you’re a decade out of school! I love the idea of it with dark wash denim or even white jeans and some loafers.
+One of my favorite sweaters from last year. So comfortable and breathable. Also a throwback — it looks like something one of the boys in Dead Poets Society might have worn.
+$100 cashmere in a rainbow of colors. Love the sophisticated look of a cashmere sweater with perfect fitting jeans and sharp flats. They’ll take you anywhere.
P.S. Before we let summer get away from us, you must consider these late-in-the-game additions: a $23 sandal that looks a helluva lot like something by The Row or ODLR (I cannot decide which color! Navy is so sophisticated and would look amazing with a white dress, but green! yellow! so fun!), and the chic-est little blouse I ever did see. Would look excellent with those slides in the navy!
P.P.S. Speaking of sweaters, I’ve wanted to buy Mr. Magpie one of these tuxedo bear sweaters for like twenty seasons in a row. Would look so adorable for a holiday party…AND, also, speaking of Mr. Magpie, I think he needs one of these classic Baracuta coats for the transition-to-fall.
