(And when was the last time you even thought about color preferences — maybe in seventh grade? Ha!)
Mine is, and always has been, blue. When I was little and my mother used colors to distinguish between the daily drinking cups (we’d line them up in a row at the edge of the kitchen counter after meals, and she’d fill them up there with watered-down juice or milk at mealtime) and the backpacks and the pencil cases and the shoes of her five children, my color was always blue.
When I started writing this blog, I immediately opted for a green-gray-blue color for my logo. There was never really a question; it was pre-ordained to be blue.
When it came time to send out our wedding save-the-dates — even before I firmly had a vision for the wedding itself — I gravitated toward letterpress cards in a periwinkle-hydrangea blue without giving it much thought. (All of our wedding stationery was from Bella Figura.) And my mother told me that one of my aunts clutched at her pearls with delight when she opened the invitation and said: “Oh, it’s just so Jennifer.”
I’ve always loved that little anecdote because — yes. Blue is my color, and there is much to like about it. Blue is the color of Mary, to whom I’ve always held a special devotion. It is the color of peace, the color of serenity, the color of coolness: traits others have generously attributed to me even if I feel inwardly harried and anxious half the time. It is the color of the sea, of the sky, and I especially love hues that incorporate a moody gray that reminds me of these elements: natural, but brooding.
I have been drawn to blue with particular magnetism over the past few weeks. It feels as though everything I buy is blue nowadays. Below, a few of my favorite finds, setting aside my Frances Valentine caftan, which I’ve already blathered on about…
The final day of Sephora’s 2019 beauty sale is today — I’ve been meaning to write about this but it kept slipping my mind! VIBRouge get 20% off with code HEYROUGE; VIBs get 15% off with code HEYVIB; and insiders get 10% off with code HEYINSIDER. I always use this promotion to stock up on all my favorite products and to test out a handful of new ones, too, since beauty products so rarely go on sale. This go around, I re-upped on my new favorite gel facial cream from Korean skincare line Belif (I’ve been using it in lieu of La Mer the last few months and absolutely LOVE the way it glides on and hydrates my skin — plus, you can’t beat the price), bought a couple tubes of my favorite mascara, and stocked up on my favorite facial cotton. I am also testing a new shampoo and conditioner duo (I have not been disappointed by any of the Ouai products I’ve tested thus far and I love their scent) and I finally snagged a tube of Summer Friday’s wildly popular Jet Lag mask.
Mr. Magpie also asked me to pick up some of his favorite products: Kiehl’s Facial Fuel Face Wash, Kiehl’s moisturizer, and Jack Black’s Post-Shave Gel. The only other fancy cosmetic product he can’t live without? Molton Brown body wash. (Related: A few months ago, I told him we couldn’t use loofahs anymore because they are supposedly breeding grounds for bacteria, and we started using these silicon loofah brushes. Mr. Magpie hates them because the body wash does not scrub up enough for his liking, but at least we’re not defeating the purpose of bathing to begin with anymore — ha! I like the loofah brush because it feels really nice against your skin!)
My Latest Snag: The Saptodjojokartiko Organza Mule.
I’d never heard of the label Saptodjojokartiko before stumbling upon their elegant collection at Moda Operandi (see example above!). Are these mules NOT me in shoe form?! I literally gasped when I saw them. I needed them as a birthday gift to myself, and I plan on wearing them with something like this, this, or this for the occasion of my thirty-fifth birthday in late June. Perfection. Also eyeing these flats from the collection. To die for! I am smitten with the entire feminine, gauzey, demi-sheer vibe of the entire label, seen in select images below! (When will their dresses be available stateside, too?!)
You’re Sooooo Popular: The $15 Statement Headband.
“People with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to the other, more instantly negotiable virtues…. character–the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life.”
This was interesting fodder given my seemingly weekly musings sussing out the boundary between my own agency and fate.
I love the way she’s phrased this and I agree, too. Even if I’m constantly renegotiating my understanding of my role in relationship to fate, or destiny, or God’s plan, I feel a deep sense of conscientiousness when it comes to how the leading and unfolding of my life impacts those around me, and I hope this means that I am cultivating the kind of character Didion captures here. At the risk of sounding punctilious, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people blame others or shrug in irresolve when they find that their behavior has been nettlesome or detrimental to those around them. I once accidentally announced on this blog that a friend was pregnant and Mr. Magpie immediately sent me a note: “Should you have said that? Was that our news to share?” I froze. My heart dropped into my stomach. I wanted so badly to blame someone else — “but everyone in our circle knows!” “but they were so open about it at brunch!” but but but but but. I knew what I had to do: to own my faux pas and apologize.
There have been dozens of occasions of similar hand-wringing on this blog and off of it, and I have not always done the right thing, or done the right thing quickly enough. I hope I am headed towards the realm of “moral nerve” Joan Didion describes.
“…noting that I was an avid reader and budding writer, between bites of tunafish salad, my grandfather taught me about various and sundry literary conventions, including, most memorably, iambic pentameter. He tapped each of his ten fingers while quoting a Shakespearean sonnet, helping me understand how to measure poetic meter:
“For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings // That then I scorn to change my state with kings.”
BaBOOM, baBOOM, baBOOM…
In large part owing to these kindnesses, I began to fashion myself as a writer. I wrote stories and poems on construction paper and stapled them together into booklets, gifting them to my parents and grandparents on various holidays. The poems were typically tributaries, extolling the virtues of a loved one in banal, forced rhyme, while the short stories were always mysteries I’d cribbed from a book I’d read recently. I recall writing a short story curiously similar to one of the Bobbsey Twin books and insisting I’d divined it on my own. Consuming the Nancy Drew series in large gulps, I dreamed of having my own Ned Nickerson and often included a Ned-like romantic hero in my fictional forays. My best friend Ellie and I tapped out a mystery novella on an ancient typewriter we dug out from the basement. We modeled it on Harriet the Spy after spending several fruitless afternoons stationed in a row of boxwoods that overlooked Linnean Avenue, composition books in hand, taking notes on the passersby as we sought the latest juicy crime in my neighborhood. Over dinner one evening towards the end of my short-lived career in espionage, I insisted I had seen multiple strange cars drive into and out of the embassy across the street from us, and that some sort of international subterfuge was at hand. My parents exchanged looks. “Why don’t you write about it?” my mother offered, generously.”
Amidst planning for our Hamptons trip this summer (image above is my north star goal for the trip, plus a little baby at my side — swoon!) over the last weekend, I sat down and started answering a bunch of emails and direct messages and thought I’d share some of them here. Feel free to email me at jennifer@thefashionmagpie.com with your questions!
Q: What are some baby shower dress ideas for a mom-to-be?
A: I wore this dress to mine — I tend to like to buy non-maternity dresses that I can ware post-partem, but I also know that there is a threshold beyond which it’s basically impossible to make a non-maternity dress work — ha! Here are a few favorite finds:
+This Sleeper dress. I’ve seen a lot of women wear this brand without the belt during pregnancy and I love the look! Then it can be worn while nursing (button-down!) and after (belted). Genius! AND LINEN, which I’m currently obsessed with.
+If the shower is more informal, I wore this to Easter and it was so comfortable and flattering. I also was impressed with the quality of the fabric for the price. (You can see a sneak of me wearing it here.) A similar laidback vibe: this. (Note that Hatch runs REALLY big.)
Q: I am stumped as to what to get my husband for our 2nd wedding anniversary. I like the idea of following the traditional wedding anniversary gifts, 2nd is cotton, but I can’t think of anything. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
+Monogrammed waffle robe. I know this sounds odd/foppish, but I swear Mr. Magpie was skeptical and then has proceeded to wear this nearly every morning of his life while getting ready for work. One of those things guys don’t think they need, but…
+New sheets — or at least new pillowcases! — and these INCREDIBLE pillows. These changed my life. Not even joking. They never get hot (?!) so you never need to flip them in the middle of the night. Pillows aren’t cotton per se, but if you wrap them in some new pillowcases…I guarantee your man will thank you. (Also, these helped with Landon’s snoring — he doesn’t snore as much anymore!) For the bedding, I’m a huge fan of Hill House Home.
Or you could do something more experiential, like wrap an inexpensive cotton picnic blanket (#love) or beach towel (have and love these ultra thin but absorbent microfiber towels — great for packing) and tuck in a note with plans for a little getaway to the beach or a picnic in the park or some sort of outdoor music concert? That way, he has something cotton to unwrap, but the real gift is the experience.
Q: What are other baby names you love?
A: Ooh, I love this! I have to be careful here in the event that we have a third child at some point (!), but am going to share a couple of names that one or the other of us (and occasionally both of us) liked but ruled out for various reasons:
+For girls: Brett, Lucia (we used this as mini’s middle name, but I love it as a first name, too — it’s my great-grand-mother’s name), Ivy, June, Camila, Sawyer.
+For boys: Everett (family name), Shepherdson (family name, but we thought Shep Shoop might be a bit much — HA!), Aser (my Finnish grandfather’s name! How badass?!).
+If you’re game for something shorter, this and this are VERY similar to my Frances Valentine style. (And I love this sunny yellow style!) And if you liked the Pippa Holt styles I featured earlier this week — check out this $30 steal!
A: Writing this blog has never felt like work and so I anticipate I will be itching to get back to this within days of micro’s arrival, as I did within days of mini’s arrival. But I also understand that birth and motherhood can throw you for a loop, so there may be a little stretch of time where I am out of pocket, recovering and adjusting and soaking up micro. In short — the plan is to continue to post frequently, with minimal lapses here. Thanks for asking!
Q: What are some bump-friendly finds that aren’t maternity?
A: This is my forte. I have bought as few true maternity pieces as possible in both of my pregnancies. I like loose-fitting button-downs like this from Everlane, tunic popovers from J. Crew, and this pretty pink blouse from Zara and I pair them with the best maternity leggings or my J. Brand J Mama jeans, which I own in a couple of washes, including white. I also like to pair oversized sweaters (I will size up from my usual XS to an M) like this with my coated leggings. As the weather has warmed up, I have been leaning on my suite of caftans and any boxy/tunic dresses or loose/flowing maxis — pieces like this, this, this, and this. I also eyed several pieces by Sleeper — love that this can be worn before, during, after pregnancy and it accommodates nursing! Basically, I look for pieces that are longer than I normally buy (look for descriptors like “oversized,” “tunic,” “long,” “boyfriend”) because the bump means that things will look a lot shorter on you and no one wants an exposed belly and sufficiently loose/airy. Then, it’s all about buying fun flats and mules (love a good mule — no need to bend over!) and hair accessories to make even the most basic of looks feel special.
Q: I have a white floaty asymmetrical hemline midi skirt. What sort of top is best?
A: Ooh, love this look. I’d wear it with a delicate silk cami in pink, white, or black. (Also available in a variation with a scalloped neckline.) The other option would be a floaty floral top like this or this, if you’re looking to introduce a little contrast/color.
Q: I did a bunch of research and was excited about the Uppababy Cruz. I don’t think I need the Vista as we are not planning for another right away (although who knows!?) and I have heard the second seat is low to the ground and the weight limit is 35 lb. So then I started looking into umbrella strollers to have in addition to the Cruz and liked the looks of the Uppababy G-Lite. But now I am asking myself if I need two strollers, and am wondering what your take would be on getting only the BabyZen YoYo and using it as a primary stroller. We live in a semi-urban neighborhood and only have one car. We walk a ton so I want something that handles sidewalks well and has enough under carriage space to accommodate some groceries or items if I am out running errands. We also live in an apartment and I am trying to be thoughtful about what’s going to take up space. We don’t air travel a ton, but will occasionally, and the YoYo just gets such great reviews! I think I remember you have experience with both the YoYo and Uppababy, so would love your thoughts if you have time.
A: Personally, it sounds to me like you would benefit from a “full feature” stroller. I love the Babyzen Yoyo for public transit but I use the heavy-duty Bugaboo multiple times a day STILL and will always pick it over the Yoyo if I’m just going out and about in my neighborhood. Here’s why: it handles beautifully, glides over divots, and can make it over big curbs without jostling the baby. It has a big basket for stowing things. It’s sturdy. You can hang tons of shopping bags off of it, or lug cases of water underneath it. It reclines. It has a sunshade that actually covers baby. Etc. It sounds like you also have a predominantly pedestrian lifestyle — and so I say to invest in The Big Boy and you will not be disappointed. I feel as though our stroller is our moving home base when we’re out and about. (And the accessories make life on the go SO easy, i.e., the clip-on cup holders, the snack tray, etc.)
These are a couple of things that would tip me in the opposite direction (i.e., go with only the Yoyo):
+If you take public transit a lot. It sounds like you use a car or walk most of the time. In either case, the Yoyo’s virtues are principally in its easy fold and carry-ability. If those aren’t major concerns for you, stick with the big guy.
+If you have to walk up and down stairs to get to your apartment / don’t have an elevator. YOYO for SURE. I don’t even know how moms deal with a big stroller otherwise!
+If you travel a lot. (Yoyo is treated like hand luggage on many flights!)
+If you have no space in your apartment or its hall to stow a big stroller without folding it. I have to be honest: I always thought I’d collapse my Bugaboo when I got home, but I have never once (not once!) done it. Too much of a pain to collapse and reassemble if I use the stroller multiple times a day. But the Yoyo is so lightweight and easy to fold, I always fold it up the second I get home. Great for small spaces
Otherwise, personally, I would start with the Uppababy and then, when you are planning to take your first trip, consider whether it makes more sense to just check your Uppababy to bring with you. A lot of times you can gate-check for free. Or just see in general how often (if ever) you wish you had a travel stroller. I truly did not need one or think about needing one until mini was around one year old and I couldn’t use the carrier anymore because she was too heavy for me. And maybe that will give you enough time to legitimize the purchase of a second, smaller stroller — ha!
Q: Could you give a book recommendation for something similar to Conversations with Friends and Normal People? I read both and loved them — and am hoping to find something similar for our upcoming trip!
A: Ooh, this is a tough one because I personally feel Rooney is in a category of her own, especially when it comes to character design and development, which I see to be the hallmark of her work. (More thoughts on this topic here.) However, I got hints of J.D. Salinger and Hemingway from a style standpoint — her concision and focus on character positioning, movements, postures. Maybe one of their short story collections, like Hemingway’s Snows of Kilimanjaro or Salinger’s Nine Stories? For something more contemporary, I’ve heard people draw comparisons between Rooney and Emma Straub. Personally, I think the likeness is far too generous to Straub. I’ve only ever read her The Vacationers and was so-so on it, but I can see the resemblance — similar settings, a focus on familial/romantic relationships, a distinctively modern feel. It was a very easy and juicy read. And, finally, Sweetbitter. Very different setting and thematic treatment but similarly modern, dark, and tightly sketched — and also about the wanderings and disillusions of being an early twenty-something.
P.S. — I’ve started saving what I’m reading to this Instagram highlight in case you want to follow along, and I also did a roundup of trending books a few weeks back. Will do an update soon to share other reads on my radar. I’m currently reading Educated after literally everyone and her mother urged me to pick it up.
Q: Are you writing a book?
A: Be still my heart. Thank you for this over-generous question. I have written portions of a novel that has been tumbling around in my mind for over a decade, but it is slow-going and I already know that if I decided to truly write it, I would need to re-write everything from scratch — though the general shape of the plot would stay the same. So, yes, in a general sense, but with no firm plans to complete it…would you want to read portions of fiction from me if I focused on polishing them up? Or are you more interested in the kind of writing I do now — memoir-ish musings?
Q: Do you plan to breastfeed your second child? How long?
A: That’s my plan and hope, but I had to supplement mini with formula from day one and so I know that I will just need to roll with the punches. My goal with mini was to nurse (and supplement with formula) until six months, but we made it to eight months. My supply was dropping and I was still waking up in the middle of the night to feed her — and I needed to get back to a healthier sleep schedule. But I was surprisingly emotional about weaning. Honestly, I look back at breastfeeding in general and am perplexed by how emotional I was on the topic from the start. I went in to motherhood thinking I had no pre-conceived notions about breastfeeding, but then felt overwhelmed by a desire to feed her as much as I could myself. I spent the first month of her life frantically pumping, nursing, bottle-feeding in an endless and exhausting cycle. I was so intent on building up my supply and feeding her as much as I could despite the fact that literally everyone around me was saying, “Jen: fed is best. Don’t drive yourself crazy!” But I was highly motivated to figure it out and found that I really enjoyed nursing mini. I’ve already begged Mr. Magpie to remind me to keep a solid sense of perspective with micro in the event that something similar happens this go around. I am determined to make a valiant effort to breastfeed but also want to cut myself a little more slack if things aren’t working as smoothly this go around. I think my goal will again be to get to six months and evaluate what’s happening. If all is well, I’d ideally like to make it to a year, but I’m going to be flexible.
And, finally, I had a few inquiries about what breast pump I’ll be using. I ordered this one along with a spare set of parts, these microwavable sterilizing bags, and these Kiinde pouches that can be screwed directly into the pump using these adapters and then either placed in the freezer or even used to feed baby with a nipple attachment! I’m basically all about convenience where possible this time around. Poor Mr. Magpie’s hands were chapped and bleeding from washing pump parts so many times each day — UGH.
I feel I’ve thoroughly canvassed the realm of baby gear (including, more recently, my list of purchases for baby two), but thought I’d share some of my favorite everyday items for mini. In general, toddlers need a lot less stuff than I expected. Mini’s absolute favorite pastimes are reading, playing with her Little People, and coloring. Beyond that, we’re out of the house or I preoccupy her with things like helping me clean and cook. But, below, some of my absolute favorite products for mini, who is now just over two:
+My mom had this stool made with mini’s name on it and it has come in handy countless times since she received it on her second birthday. We use it when she’s brushing her teeth, when she asks to use the toilet (she’s not yet toilet trained, but we have all the gear ready to go — and I especially like this Baby Bjorn toilet insert, which fits perfectly and makes it much easier and less intimidating for her to use the regular toilet), and when she wants to watch us cook in the kitchen. She also likes to sit on it when I’m getting ready in the morning in the bathroom — and is very interested in talking about the letters in her name.
+Mini treat cups and Aerin melamine appetizer plates. I love having these on hand for parceling out toddler-sized amounts of snacks. The treat cups can come in handy when we have other friends over for playdates or we’re out and about and I need something to hold her snacks in.
+Replay Sippy Cups. I love the simple, non-fussy design of these cups. Also, they never leak. For smoothies, I like to use these drink-in-a-box cups (the straw is sufficiently wide and it’s easy to pour a smoothie into the top), and for water, we use Camelbaks or Thinkbabies.
+Baby Cie plates. I love the whimsical designs of this brand. The only drawback is that they aren’t microwavable (but they are dishwasher-safe!)
+Stasher Reusable Snack Bags. I like these because you can wash them in the dishwasher (takes a little ingenuity to make sure they are open on the top rack and then to dry them, but worth it). Mr. Magpie and I started separating our plastic bags from the rest of our trash to recycle at our local Whole Foods and I was frankly astounded by how much clear plastic we go through — shopping bags, food wrapping, ziplocs, etc. These snack bags make me feel better. (Also, we started using these to stow produce and I bring them to the grocery store with me instead of using the plastic bags there.) I also like these bags vs. traditional snack cups because they take up less space in a diaper bag!
+Crayola Bath Dropz. These were a great tactic for luring her over to bathtime back when she resisted it now. Now she loves bath time and I have to beg her to get out of the tub! She loves “putting color” in the water by adding these bath drops. Don’t even try the other brands — Crayola is the best. (Though why they opted for a yellow-colored tablet is beyond me…it makes the water look like pee.) She also loves her bath crayons.
+Alaffia Bubble Bath. More recently, mini has been very into bringing her little people into the tub with her and playing with bubbles. I’ve tried a bunch of brands of bubble bath (sounds ridiculous), but find that this foams up the best, is beautifully scented, and is non-drying to her skin. Love. I even prefer it to Noodle & Boo’s bubble bath, which did not sud up particularly well — though I love ALL of their other products.
+Noodle & Boo shampoo, lotion, body wash, and conditioning hair polish. Great products. They have such a lovely scent and are very gentle. I like their products so much, I use their linen mist on the upholstered pieces in her nursery and her stroller.
+Ubbi Bath Toy Bin. This is so intelligently designed. You can use the top portion to scoop all the toys up in one motion and then place it on top of the bottom piece so that residual water will drip out and your toys won’t mold.
+Boon Bath Mat. Does anyone else’s toddler love to stomp around in the bath tub? This gives me peace of mind and has saved us from countless spills. (Meanwhile, this have saved my old, creaky knees at bath time.)
+Ubbi Diaper Bin. Bought this for her as an infant, still use it constantly. It contains the smell.
+Boon Drying Rack. Oh, we’ll never be out of the phase of using this…we still use it daily, over two years in, and, with micro on the way, have a long future of seeing it on our counter. But it does contain the mess and enable us to dry all the cups, bottles, etc. with ease. I personally prefer this style to the “tree” versions of drying racks because it has a lower profile and can be stowed on its side in a cabinet on the rare occasion nothing is drying on it.
At Home Activities.
+Melissa & Doug Stamp Set. She LOVES this set. The ink is washable and not too pigmented, so it wasn’t nearly as messy as I’d anticipated.
+Counting Bears. I bought these for mini after noticing how much she enjoys organizing things — she likes sorting, placing items in rows, etc. She now enjoys playing with them in her dollhouse, too, but I’ve found that this was a great toy for beginning to talk about colors (and reinforcing the idea of “putting things away where they belong”).
+Melissa & Doug Magnetic Ariel Set. Mini is IN LOVE with dressing Ariel. We had to remove some of the super small pieces since she will occasionally put them in her mouth (no idea why — she doesn’t do this with anything else small in our house), but most of the pieces are big enough that they don’t pose a choking hazard.
+Coloring Books. Oh man — we go through SO many coloring books in our house. The minute she receives a new one, she’ll lay on her stomach and scribble on each and every page. Then she’ll go back and shade in pages for days on end. I keep a small amount of crayons in an accessible cup that she can get out for herself, and then, every two weeks or so, let her pick a new handful of crayons from a big pencil box full of them. This ensures we don’t have to play pick-up-34989834983498-crayons twenty-five times a day and she loves the novelty of picking out new crayons, too.
+Home Pod. This sounds nutty but we use the Home Pod to play mini’s favorite songs allllll day long. Some days I think I will spontaneously combust if I hear the Frozen soundtrack one more time, but then I remind myself how much better it is that we’re listening to music versus watching TV and let it gooooooo. I also love that I can ask Siri what time it is / what the forecast looks like / etc from wherever I am in the apartment without having to get up and check my phone or laptop. I can also tell her to turn off all of our apartment lights when we leave because she’s synced to our Hue lighbulbs, one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PRODUCTS EVER. Basically, she’s my handy little assistant and she enables me to accomplish many minor things and get minor pieces of information without moving or using my hands. Ha!
+PBK Sloan Play Table. I love this simple, unobtrusive little white table. Mini plays with her dolls/dollhouse on it, eats her meals on it, keeps her water cup on it, etc, etc, etc. It’s her space and she knows it. We also got her this adorable Kartell ghost chair in the pink color and she loves to sit in it while having her lunch.
+Toddler Cake Set. Mini has a few different food/cooking sets, but this is one of her favorites, and she loves to use these to “cook dinner” for myself and Mr. Magpie.
+Maileg Mice. She LOVES HER MAILEG MICE and has since she was itty bitty. I love their timeless styling and attention to detail and I think she just loves their proportions? I’m not sure what it is — but she’s been hooked on these since maybe seven or eight months of age!
I almost always have some combination of these items in my bag when we’re out to lunch, at church, taking the subway somewhere, etc, and I try really hard not to let her have them in the apartment so that they always feel special/new when I need a distraction: t
+Church Magnet Book. This is a super intense Catholic toy — ha! But mini LOVES it. This keeps her busy for about fifteen minutes straight during Mass. And it’s quiet and, obviously, appropriate for the venue. (If you’re not Catholic, something like this or this would be similar and suitable.)
+Sidewalk Chalk. We keep this in her stroller and I swear she’s the most popular kid at the playground when she brings these out — which is, actually, a lovely thing, since it affords us many opportunities to talk about taking turns and sharing. I specifically like this set because the pieces of chalk are square — meaning that they don’t roll around, leaving you chasing stray chalk.
+Bubble Wands. We also always have one or two of these wands under our stroller. Mini loves bubbles!
+Micro Scooter and ladybug helmet. She honestly loves using this in our apartment, too, but I love the mornings we set out as a family and let her cruise around Central Park with this.
+Bugaboo Snack Tray. A MUST HAVE. Use this constantly. It keeps her water/snacks in reach and is very easy to remove/move out of the way and also — surprisingly — to keep clean. There’s really no area where food can get trapped and nasty. I love the design.
+Bugaboo Wheeled Board. We recently gave mini this in anticipation of the arrival of micro, and she loves sitting on it and standing on it when she doesn’t feel like being strapped in. We haven’t had too much of an issue with her leaping off of it once she’s on it, but I will say that if she’s not in the mood to leave the park / playground / etc, not even this board will entice her to leave, so it’s not like a panacea to all urban transit woes. It takes a minute to get used to it when you’re pushing the stroller, too — you have to sort of walk on the side to avoid running into it — but it’s not too obtrusive.
What else do you love for your toddler?
Currently on my radar for her: an OK-to-wake clock, not so much for the intended purpose, though. We are running into issues with bedtime: she’s become highly resistant and stubborn about following the normal sequence of activities (bath, jammies, brush teeth, two books in our bed, hugs, one book in her bed, prayers, into crib). It feels as though we’re pulling teeth to get from one step to the next and the entire routine is suddenly punctuated by multiple trips to time out and moments of quiet exasperation on our end. This just happened all of the sudden and has caught us all by surprise. I know it’s partly the age and her desire to test our limits (and to stay awake and play!), but my mom suggested we might buy her her own clock and use it as a kind of tool — “Hey, is it bedtime yet? [Check her special clock together.] Oh, no! Not yet! Still ten minutes to play.” Etc. I personally like the idea of involving her in the notion of checking the time to see if it’s appropriate bed time, of giving her more of a heads up as to what’s coming, and — is this wrong of me? — to make us seem like less the bad guys enforcing some arbitrary bedtime. (“But the clock says…”) Also need to stock up on sunscreen for summer (have heard good things about this brand) and map out her school gear (still a few months out, but I like these Lunchbots aluminum bento boxes and these seersucker backpacks).
Quick little note to let you know Shopbop is running a surprise sale that ends tonight (don’t know how I missed this in my inbox until this morning…), where they’ve temporarily marked down items to 40% off. A few favorite finds:
P.P.S. Sephora is running its annual tiered promotion (20% off for VIBRouge, 15% off for Rouge members, 10% off for insiders) — sharing what I bought in an upcoming post, but basically re-stocking my cosmetic cabinet with all of my favorite beauty buys. Especially excited about my new shampoo and conditioner.
By: Jen Shoop
Though Mr. Magpie and I speak with less and less frequency about our former home in Chicago, as we thaw into spring, we find ourselves revisiting our backyard often in conversation. Mr. Magpie talks about the first grills of the season on his beloved Weber kettle grill (a great gift for any dude, though it does require a primer in lighting a chimney, etc.), and I can see him out there, through the sliding glass doors to our stone-paved terrace: the plumes of smoke perfuming his requisite UVA sweatshirt, an IPA in a koozie at his side, country music blaring through our speakers, a look of satisfaction on his face. I often caught him idly looking around our backyard, probably taking stock of the trees and mulch and plants, plotting changes and additions, or maybe thinking of nothing but how happy he was standing in the middle of our backyard oasis, that small plot of land we called our own.
Though Central Park’s proximity across the street is not a paltry substitute, we miss having a private outdoor space. We spent most evenings out there in the summer, grilling, eating, sitting on the steps enjoying aperol spritzes, idly tossing the tennis ball to our rambunctious airedale. During the day, I’d sit there with an iced tea and a book, and, after she’d arrived, mini in her boppy or stroller bassinet at my side. There was the shade of an enormous maple (one Mr. Magpie endured a love-hate relationship with — it shed those propeller things all over the place), the seclusion of a tall fence separating us from our neighbors, the tidy hedge of boxwoods.
Today, I thought I’d share some of my favorite backyard finds for those blessed with such a space of their own, one of our greatest treasures as homeowners.
+Patio umbrella — I love the trim on this one. So old world Hollywood.
+String lights. Mr. Magpie would hang a few strands of these across our backyard in the warm months and I loved the cozy glow it afforded our al fresco meals. These are a bit bigger in size, but they get insane reviews.
+Wicker dining chairs (on sale for $99!) — love the different colors these come in. So fun! I like the soft blue or coral.
+Love the rustic vibe of a pitcher of water or lemonade or sangria on an outdoor table. This is lovely, and you know I love anything chinoiserie. I also own a monogrammed acrylic pitcher like this, which is not only lovely for showcasing a punch or water infused with diced fruit and herbs, but a perfect housewarming gift.
+We frequently filled a galvanized metal tub with ice to stow beer, sparkling water, and wine when entertaining. I’m IN LOVE with this style (on sale!), which comes with a stand! Amazing.
I’m excited to revive my women of substance series today (it’s been on hiatus for nearly a year!) by showcasing Laura Gelfand of the gorgeous knitwear label Le Lion. Laura is a fashion and textiles veteran: she earned a degree from Parson’s and has worked for design houses as impressive and varied as Ralph Lauren, Catherine Malandrino, and Figue. In 2017, Laura set out to establish her own brand after falling in love with a sweater she scored on TheRealReal decorated with sequins on the left chest. She recalls that it was in fact an ill-fitting sweater but that she couldn’t find anything just like it — and she was in love with it. She went to her friend Martha and asked, “Why don’t we make these?”, adding that including some element of personalization felt in line with where she perceived the clothing industry to be going (i.e., away from “fast fashion”). And so Le Lion was born — a collection of sweaters adorned with “embroidered interpretations of traditional heraldry” and “personalized with whimsical monograms and zodiac constellations.”
Strength, honesty, and kindness. I so admire strong women, and strength can come in so many different forms: strength in determination, in point of view, in work, in love…Honesty is incredibly important to me in all facets, and I think it often takes incredible strength to be honest.
Your favorite heroine.
I love any woman that goes against the grain, that has a point of view, that doesn’t just accept things the way they are. My maternal grandmother was really my heroine. She was fiercely independent, which I just loved, AND she drove a red Porsche and wore leather pants until she was in her 80s! She had incredible style and I have a bunch of pieces from her that I wear all the time.
Your main fault.
I put far too much pressure on myself!!! It can be debilitating.
Your greatest strength.
I am a doer of all things! When faced with an obstacle, I’ll learn whatever I need to in order to master it. In starting this business, I have encountered so many challenges and have learned so much about business, the industry, relationships, and so on to overcome them.
Your idea of happiness.
I am a real homebody. I love curling up and watching a movie (or two!) on the couch. But I am at my happiest when traveling somewhere that completely takes me out of my element — it is so exhilarating!!
…or Paris, always.
Your idea of misery.
Anxiety thinking about the future. I constantly work on trying to live in the moment!
Currently at the top of your shopping lust list.
TOO many things! But to list a few…
I love pairing skirts with my sweaters and there are a couple of whimsy ones on Net-A-Porter that I am lusting over, like this printed satin one from Marni and this mixed-print Dries Van Noten. I also just discovered Le Nine crystal basket bags and I need one! I love anything that sparkles and I think straw bags are so fab year round. Finally, I am a shoe-addict and I adore Rochas flats. They are so feminine and whimsical. I love this simple pair with the sweet bow!
A great new pair of AGOLDE jeans at Cabana in Dallas. Merry’s stores Cabana and Canary are my favorites!
I feel most empowered wearing…
One of my sweaters. They make me feel incredibly proud, not only because they represent something I have created but because they are personal. It makes me feel so proud to see other women wearing them and to hear how special and personal they are to them. I have tried so hard not to just put more stuff into this world and to create something that feels special to people and brings them joy. A customer recently ordered a sweater with her deceased father’s initials in the heart and it was just incredible to see her reaction when she received it. I want everyone to feel that way when they wear them!
Favorite Magpie post.
I love ALL of your beauty posts. I am such a beauty addict and just love reading about and discovering all of the products you find and review. I have ready every single one! I love “Words I Hate + Makeup I Love” because it is just genius and perfect.
Mr. Magpie lives by fairly strict and highly idiosyncratic rules about what should be done at various points in the day. Even though I am a rule follower by nature, I find myself rebelling against many of his self-appointed directives: we both agree that the bed should be made within about an hour of waking, but that’s where our agreement on time-of-the-day rules ends. For example he feels there is a “breakfast window,” a “lunch window,” and a “dinner window.” If he somehow misses “the breakfast window” by not eating something by 10 a.m., he will fast until lunch — at which point, only “lunch fare” is admissible. Thus, he is the only white male under the age of 40 who actively hates brunch. And don’t even get him started on the “monstrosity” of “breakfast for dinner” — a tradition I cherished as a child. I could eat pancakes all the livelong day, and will admit that I have indulged in more than my fair share of cereal at odd mealtimes in my day, but he will recoil in disgust if I share such admissions.
But perhaps his biggest bugaboo is wearing pajamas before bedtime.
On the one hand, I see his point. Like my own parents, he tends towards formality: I was raised in a household where we sat together at the formal dining table with a linen tablecloth every night for dinner–and were expected to dress accordingly. (“No hats at the table!” my mom would chant in my brother’s direction. “Tuck in your shirt!” my father would follow.) I like the notion of dressing nicely for dinner, of sitting down and recognizing that moment in the day as something special and familial.
And I have always been a huge proponent of “getting dressed” for the day, even when I work from home and the likelihood that I will see anyone is nil. I carry myself differently when I have put thought into what I am wearing, when I feel good about myself and my appearance. In college, I regularly wore sundresses to class, even when about half of my classmates would roll up in athleisure or straight-up sleepwear.
But by around six-thirty or seven p.m., I crave comfort. I want to be out of my constricting jeans and into loose cotton. I long for the breeziness of a robe, the fluff of my ridiculous slippers underfoot. And yet I respect Mr. Magpie’s perspective so dearly and dread his inevitable query — “PJs already?” with such ferocity that I will try to wait until after mini has gone to bed and we are approaching the hour of sleep to change.
And that is why I have become a caftan queen.
The caftan is the perfect loophole to this quandary. It projects a point of view, but is effortless and comfortable. Mr. Magpie understands it as a dress even though it is closer to a nightgown. And when you wear one, you feel you’ve attained some level of urban boho chicness you didn’t quite think you were capable of.
Below, my favorite caftans. (Incidentally, a great buy for pregnancy and post-pregnancy.)
+Pippa Holt. I’ve drooled over this label (shown above) for seasons now — and they also carry mini-me styles. All of the pieces from this collection are hand-made and take about a month (!) to produce.
+SZ Blockprints — DUH. I’ve talked your ear off about this brand, but they are loose, airy, adorable, and better priced than a lot of the other styles out there.
Basically any of these could be worn out of home with a pair of smart sandals. I tend to rely on my Hermes Orans to tie a look like this together, but I also love the look with either statement slides like these or leather lace-up sandals like these (get the look for less with these).
+A great striped basic for summer (40% off). Love this layered under joveralls, paired with white shorts/jeans, and especially accompanied by an olive green anorak.
I have always been drawn to people of conviction, Mr. Magpie being high on that list. I have often found myself thinking that I’d much prefer the company of someone with a point of view than I would a willow in the wind. And yet, on occasion, I wonder how my loved ones would paint me in this regard. Mr. Magpie has told me many times that I have a gift for accommodating multiple perspectives and for making others feel at home in voicing their opinions, however at odds they might be with my own. His portrait flatters, but I also find myself glancing uneasily at the blurred boundary between civility and spinelessness. In fact, I wrote not long ago that I often feel “I don’t know enough to have an opinion on something,” adding that “the only thing worse than a blowhard is a waffling poltroon.”
I have been chewing on this the last few weeks. When I read back many of my blog posts, I see in myself a woman who is not easily convinced — who tends to drift in the gray areas, who is better at sketching the landscape than she is at dialing in on the finer points of a particular matter, who will often think, of pressing contemporary issues: “I’m just glad I’m not in a position to legislate around this.” As I age, I find the list of absolutes in life grows shorter and shorter. When I turned thirty-four, I wrote that “It’s as if I went from being far-sighted to near-sighted; I didn’t know what I didn’t know in my 20s, and now I know what I don’t know — and so my conviction in the shape of things has shifted, shrunk, concentrated in on only the small world around me, the narrow sphere in which I know that 1+1=2. The mathematics beyond skew.”
What are the ethics of this mentality? Am I sheltering myself? Elapsing into solipsism?
On the other hand: maybe it’s OK to keep only a very brief list of convictions, a string of a precious few unimpeachable truths I carry carefully with me through life. Maybe I don’t need to stand with resolve in all things; maybe open-mindedness is a gift.
““Oh!” I said, forcing a smile onto my face, pretending I wasn’t crying, “Oh, you look so handsome.” And he did. Truly. Somehow he’d lost five years in the shearing of his hair. He looked athletic, strong. I noticed in a way I hadn’t in years the hazel of his eyes, the breadth of his smile, and the squaring of his chin. But there was something about his searching eyes, anxious for my reaction, that gutted me. And there was something else — something about his mild heroism (yes, heroism!) in accommodating the effects of age that wrung my heart. He had been agonizing over whether or not he was ready to accept that he has become a 36-year-old father-to-two (almost!) and wife-to-one with thinning hair and an aging body, and, all on his own, he set out to accept — celebrate! — that transition head-on as the calendar year turned.”
May I greet my own aging with similar poise…
Post-Scripts: Cateyes and Easter Sales.
+Loving these cateye shades in both colorways. The olive green have a Prada vibe to them…
There is a lovely little poem by Julia Kasdorf titled “What I Learned from My Mother.” Much of it centers upon a mother’s role as salve and caretaker, and my favorite bit runs as follows:
“I learned from my mother how to love the living, to have plenty of vases on hand in case you have to rush to the hospital with peonies cut from the lawn, black ants still stuck to the buds.”
This is very much my mother, whose ministrations run from the shockingly specific and intimate (picking up colace for me after mini was born, when I would rather have died asking anyone for such an embarrassing favor) to the knee-bucklingly generous (flying to Rome to hear me read a paper as a graduate student). This passage nails her comfort in gestures of care-taking big and small–and her preparedness, speed, and single-mindedness in accomplishing them. And, bonus: it references a peony, and my mother cherished her peony bushes in our old stone house on Tilden Street in Northwest D.C. so much so that the image of a peony bush and the black ants that tended to burrow into it vibrate through much of my childhood nostalgia, like the focal point on a hand-stitched quilt.
But there are many things I have learned from my mother, setting aside her deep kindnesses as my caretaker and guardian–too many things to enumerate, or to attempt to–but I will share a few today:
To write a thank you note immediately after a gift is received.
To be specific in said thank you note, mentioning where you have placed the gift or why, exactly, you love it and how it will be used.
To stock up on scarves — endlessly versatile and timeless.
To listen, fully.
To keep an extensive back-stock of household essentials: toilet paper, paper towels, tissues.
To pray, often.
To keep snacks and a notepad in your bedside table drawer for middle-of-the-night micro-crises.
To read every day.
To buy butter in bulk on sale and keep it in the freezer. (It thaws beautifully.)
To tell yourself, when you think you can’t: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” This was a trick she used when toilet-training us (the power of positive thinking!) that I still conjure in moments of duress.
To give other people the benefit of the doubt.
To tilt your head and say, firmly, “Jennifer” when you are about to say something important so that your daughter has a mild heart attack and knows you mean business. (This works — mini will drop what she’s doing and look up like a dear in headlights when I’ve used this voice with her.)
To keep tissues in my purse.
To clip coupons and hunt for sales.
To say “I love you” as often as your children can stand it.
This last one, maybe, the most powerful — as I find myself drawn to repeated affirmations as I attempt to parent my own children. I know that saying “I love you” is difficult for some people, and is not the lingua franca in the culture of some families. But it has always felt easy for me because love was so amply given and volubly communicated by my mother. It is the coda of all phone conversations, the casual good-bye tossed over shoulders on the way out the front door, the unthinking accompaniment to “good night.”
Per usual, I aim for gifts under $100. I am always astounded by mother’s day gift guides where the prices drift into the multiple hundreds. I am either stingy or those guides are impractical. Either way, a couple of items I would recommend for a beloved mother or mother-like figure:
+For the style maven: these cateye shades from one of my favorite non-designer eyewear labels, these earrings, or this scarf, which I own in a different colorway and never cease to find a trillion ways to wear.
+For the flower lover: this headband (I had to buy it for my mom. It is so her!) or this blouse (under $100 with promo code currently running).
+For the foodie: these frozen croissants (they are quite good — you let them proof at room temp overnight and then bake them off in the morning), a bundle of Afeltra bronze-cut pasta (if you’ve not tried high-end dried pasta, you’ve not yet lived — it’s a totally different beast), or a delivery from Levain cookies.
+Over $100, but I carry this tote with me everywhere these days, and it reminds me of my mom.
There is a tradition at UVA called “Midsummers.” Some time in late June, students flock back to campus for a solstice reunion, the small bars on The Corner packed and sweaty and the frat houses that line Mad Bowl spilling over with howling parties that rage late into the thick summer nights, their roofs dotted with partygoers sitting in lawn chairs alongside coolers of beer, the muffled thud of hip-hop beats in beer-stained basements interrupted only briefly by the strings and twang of country anthems like “Wagon Wheel” and “Fishing in the Dark.” This is the South, after all.
I always loved Midsummers. There was something wildly escapist about being so close to school without any of its responsibilities and deadlines, safely nestled a two-hour drive from my summer job and the routine of life at home: just me and my friends, the haze and stillness of a Southern summer, the taste of poorly-mixed drinks in oversized sorority cups, the bearing of a new summer outfit, the happenstance crossing-of-paths with acquaintances and crushes and old boyfriends. It was thrilling to be seen, maybe with a new haircut, or a deeper tan, or the posture of confidence I did not fully possess.
The summer after my second year, Mr. Magpie drove me down for the occasion. We were only a month into dating, and everything was fresh and new and limber and I called him “baby” for the first time over dinner at The Biltmore, the word catching in my throat like a chicken bone. I looked up anxiously for a reaction.
“What happened?” he asked, puzzled at my sudden change in posture.
“Oh, nothing,” I dismissed, relieved he’d not made the connection between my fumbling attempt at intimacy and my stricken look, comforted by the fact that I could play it off. Maybe terms of endearment were out of reach, I reasoned, this early into the relationship.
After dinner, we parted ways. He headed off to meet up with his buddies and I raced back to my apartment to reconnect with my girlfriends, a tribe of mainly south-of-the-Mason-Dixon-line beauties with a taste for Andre “champagne” — champagne in quotes because, for those uninitiated in the art of the swill, Andre is essentially $5 fruit juice pumped with some sort of dubious alcohol and bubbles the size of grapes. (It is rot gut.) We huddled in the apartment I shared with my girlfriend A., catching up, blaring music, adjusting our outfits, calling boyfriends and crushes. I flushed every time Mr. Magpie’s name came up–and it resurfaced frequently because I managed to maneuver most conversations toward him. He was older than we were, and I’d been chasing him since before I’d arrived at New Dorms nearly two years earlier, and I felt like I’d won something. Suddenly, my earlier quibbling over the term “baby” felt infantile, and I longed to be in his company: to call him mine, to be seen with him, to be understood as his.
A few hours later, I successfully managed to direct my unwieldy pack of friends to Coupe Deville’s, a bar that felt as though it belonged in 1967, with wood benches and questionable upholstery and low ceilings and the stink of smoke. Mr. Magpie had said he’d be there, and that he knew the bouncer, too — and so I managed to get inside by mentioning his name at the door, despite flashing the ID of an elder sorority sister of a different ethnicity. The bouncer smirked.
“OK, Landon. Fine.” And he waved me through.
I felt as though I had a balloon in my lungs as I skimmed the crowded confines for Mr. Magpie’s shape. My friends were laughing about something as we wove our way through the throngs of good-looking Southern boys and well-dressed Southern girls, many in sundresses with deep tans and sun-kissed hair. We were barreling toward the bar, reapplying lip gloss, breaking out in peals of laughter, and I was scanning for —
Him. Sitting on a stool at the bar in a polo shirt, seemingly freshly showered. He always has that look, even now: clean, tidy, unperturbed. The balloon in my lungs expanded. I leapt toward him.
“Hi!” I beamed.
“Hey, hey!” he returned, pulling me toward him, sliding off his stool, helping me out of the fray. I was conscious of the circle of his male friends registering my arrival, and my face burned with self-awareness. Mr. Magpie widened his stance, pulling his cup of beer into him so that it wouldn’t spill over me despite the jerky movements of the crowd around us, his eyes softening as he looked down at me in an expression partway between bemusement and anticipation. He’s never been big on PDA, but there was something unmistakably possessive about the way he reacted to my presence. Every now and then, he would hold out his hand as if forging an imaginary protective bubble around me, preventing a stray limb or raucous frat brother from brushing up against me.
I remember his regard, his positioning, as if it were yesterday, in part because he still wears it today, on the odd occasion that we find ourselves meeting at some middleground, having arrived separately: that easy welcoming look, that protectiveness. The way he will, simultaneously unphased and disgusted, shove someone out of the way if that person is getting a little too close to me for his own comfort. The way he stiffens if he’s caught wind of an unbecoming sentiment or note of cruelty in someone’s tenor toward me. He is now, as he was then, a gentleman–and it still feels new and indulgent. But I also remember our reunion that night because I’ve never quite shaken the way he made me feel all those years ago, as we groped our way through the awkwardnesses of a young relationship: proud to be his, maybe a little surprised. It’s engendered a reciprocal instinct toward possessiveness around him — even now, closing in on a decade and a half of relationship-nurturing. I wonder occasionally if this marks me as strange, or if other women feel the same way towards their spouses. When I see him across the room at a party, or weaving his way through a crowded farmer’s market, or wrangling mini in the vestibule of the Church, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of attachment: he is mine, I think, with surprise and something like urgency.
Over coffee a few weeks back, a friend of mine mentioned how much she enjoys reading my posts on Mr. Magpie.
“You can just tell from the way you write about him that you’re still chasing him.”
I was caught off-guard by her observation, by its proximity to a truth I’d not acknowledged. I know him well, of course — his moods, his preferences, his occasionally gutting stubbornnesses — and yet, he escapes me. He has always been his own person in our relationship, carrying his own interests and passions and opinions to himself, largely unruffled by my own. He lets me be me, and he is determinedly him. If I ever changed his mind on something, I am unaware of said victory: he is an unrelenting maverick. In the weeks following my friend’s airy and on-point description of our dynamic, I’ve realized that it’s this independence of his that leaves me in his chase. I am always wondering what he will think and how he will act, and whether it will surprise me or not. Whether he’ll recognize my tentative tenderness in calling him “baby” for the first time, or whether he’ll brush it off, concerned with other matters. Whether he’ll slide off the bar stool to wrap me in a bear hug or beam down at me with that quiet “she is mine” gaze.
We are about a year shy of a decade of marriage, and I still find myself wondering, wandering after him — permanently, it seems, in the posture of pursuit.
+This stunning jumpsuit, which I like with an on-trend Loeffler Randall mule like this (on super sale) or this. (Get the floral jumpsuit look for less with this.)
+Pretty cupcake liners and ribbon. I’m dying over the latter — can you imagine how adorable it would look to wrap up a little parcel of cookies with it, or tie up a gift in kraft paper?!
