That I don’t know enough to have an opinion on something. The only thing worse than a blowhard is a waffling poltroon.
That I should fill empty spaces with mindless chatter. (Silence is powerful.)
That crying is a sign of weakness. (Many of you agree — read the comments here.)
That accepting help is selfish or imposing or a symptom of feebleness.
That compliments should be deflected.
What about you?
As an aside, I picked up some gridded notepads a week or two ago and have suddenly found myself filling its pages with list after list. I’ve always been big on list-making, but this is next level–and recursive, in the sense that many of them are less oriented around to do’s that I can check off and abandon than they are about organizing miscellaneous thoughts and yearnings into one place. I have lists ranging from “Mini’s Spring Wardrobe Needs” and “Activities to Do with Mini” to “Songs I Love Right Now” and “Post-Partum Goals.” Is it nesting? A bizarre kind of journaling? I love it. I’ll think I’ll start keeping lists more similar to the meaty one above more often now.
Post Scripts.
+Is anyone else watching the newest season of Queer Eye? A reader mentioned it in a comment and I immediately tuned in. I just love this show so much — the “fab five” truly meet people where they are, and with love and generosity of spirit and patience. I’m especially smitten with Jonathan Van Ness. In a recent episode, he gifted one of the participants one of these cosmetics brushes, which I’ve seen but never really considered, and now I’m wondering if they’re worth the hype. I love the idea that it applies skincare products and cosmetics like fingers do — but without absorbing any product.
+This linen button-down dress in the chambray blue color is SO in my wheelhouse. I own probably five or ten similar styles in the shirtdress cut and I simply love them for summer. They are so flattering and elegant and I love the versatility they afford: could be worn with Supergas to the playground or funky mules for brunch.
+This dress looks like a Saloni but rings in at under $100. YES.
+I bought mini an Easter basket nearly identical to this one last year that I found and had monogrammed on Etsy. I love it because it can be laid flat in storage (instead of taking up a ton of space as a wicker extravagance!) However — if monograms aren’t your thing — how about an inexpensive pack of two?! So cute! (And, I have to say that my favorite thing I purchased mini for Easter is this gingham nightie. So sweet!)
+In the midst of my frenetic baby-readiness activities last week, I spent some time musing over how to essentially create a mini-nursery in a corner of our master bedroom. I think my solution will be to buy one of these rolling carts where I can keep his diapering essentials, some burp cloths and swaddles, and a couple of changes of clothes so that I always have what I need in our bedroom and don’t need to go rummaging around in mini’s room in the middle of the night. I like the idea that I can wheel it out of the way when it’s inconvenient or even roll it right into our master bathroom (or, heck, living room, if I do end up needing a c-section and need to sort of plunk myself down for the day). I also know we’ll need a small hamper for his clothes in our bedroom, and am thinking of using one of these adorable, multi-purpose Petit Pehr bins. My thought is that if it’s not in use, I can collapse it and toss it in our closet or something. And maybe one of these Pehr bins in the cutest rabbit print to corral his small number of interactive toys/books I’ll present to him in his first few months of life.
+We’ve been talking about getting Tilly a new dog bed for awhile. She currently loves to sleep on a mound of throw pillows and an old throw blanket she’s claimed as her own at the foot of our bed, but I know we’ll need to relocate her once the baby arrives and we have him in our bedroom. I love this.
+Ordered mini this adorable khaki coat for the transition to warmer weather. Can you EVEN imagine her wearing it with some skinny jeans and ballet flats?!
Last week, I thought I might die if I had to wear one of the five maternity-friendly sweaters I own another day. I fished around in my closet and pulled out my millennial pink J. Crew rollneck sweater. It barely fit over my bump, but I layered it atop a long pink maternity tee and it changed my outlook on the day. I was wearing something different! And pink! And it made me feel like spring was in view!
Below, sharing my favorite pretty sweaters for spring — many of them well under $100 — in the hopes that you’ll have a similar moment of rebirth:
Amidst my flurry of delivery preparations last week, I strategized about the all-important (har har) coming-home outfit for myself. I am packing two: one loose-fitting dress (it will likely be late May!) and one leggings look, as I recall that last time, I preferred the support/encasement (??) of leggings paired with a loose-fitting cardigan. On the former front, I am looking at either this Mi Golondrina tunic or this S.Z. Blockprints caftan. I know neither are nursing-friendly, but I’m going for something easy to toss on and pull off and both look perfectly roomy for a post-partem figure. For the latter look, I already ordered this baby blue linen-weave cardigan, this nursing-friendly henley, and my favorite maternity leggings. The piece de resistance for either look? A brand new denim headband that I am going to save as a present to myself until I get to the hospital. Get the look for less with this striped style. (Also love this floral style!)
+The lovely Pam Munson sent me this bag for spring and I am dying — dying — over it. I’ve been wearing it everywhere despite the fact that we’re still lingering in the 30s and 40s many days in New York. It’s roomy and structured and pretty much perfect in every way.
#Turbothot: Courtesy Versus Gender Politics.
The other day, I lumbered onto a crowded subway car. I was uncomfortable and I knew I looked it. The baby was moving in all kinds of strange ways — he’s blessedly head down for now, though mini flipped to breech position around week 34 or so, and I’m not holding my breath — and he has a habit of kicking me right in the ribs in his current placement. I was on my way to an ultrasound across town, on the Upper East Side. There’s no particularly easy way to get there from the Columbus Circle area — you either take a subway north and commit to a 15-minute walk through the Park, or you navigate multiple Subway transfers by first heading south, which always feels frustratingly counter-productive. I often take a cab but was determined, on that spring-like afternoon, to make my way via public transit and save the $20 on taxi fare. At any rate, I waddled onto the Subway car at the pace of a snail, scanning for a seat. There were probably twenty able-bodied men and fifteen teens sitting on the benches, and I waited for half a second for someone to gesture me into his seat. No offer materialized.
I was put off by this. I realize it’s a potentially controversial opinion to have, but if I see a pregnant woman, or a mother with small children, or an elderly individual, or someone with a clear handicap or injury, I will always cede my seat — even in my nearly-eight-month-pregnant state. It occurred to me, though, that perhaps these gentlemen had been chastened by other experiences and interactions. Not too long ago, I was out on my own without mini (and not visibly pregnant), and I stopped to help a mother working hard to prop a door open in order to wheel her stroller out.
“Here, I got you!” I offered, running to hold the door for her. She looked at me in exasperation.
“I’m used to handling it on my own.”
Oh.
I don’t know whether she meant it as a joke (but she somehow forgot to add the comedic wink-wink-nudge-nudge), or if she was having a bad day and needed to snap at somebody, or was offended by my gesture. Maybe she saw me as a childless 30-something woman and was annoyed by the implication that I would feel she needed my help? Maybe she found it patronizing? Maybe she was determined to prove to herself, that day, that she could do it all on her own? Maybe she was just plain rude?
I don’t know — but it occurred to me, as I reflected on that interaction, that maybe these gentlemen had been through similar experiences and had learned the tough way to just keep to themselves.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s always right to offer up my seat or hold open a door. Sure, I might run into hostility every now and then, but it’s simply the generous thing to do. I’d rather respond with kindness than with apathy, even if that gesture is declined.
What are your thoughts, ladies? How do you react when a man holds open a door for you, pregnant or not? How do you feel about offering a seat to someone who looks like they might need it? How do we draw the lines between courtesy and a kind of dangerous gender politicking?
+One of my post-pregnancy resolutions is to wear more interesting pants. I wear a lot of dresses (when weather permits), but almost always default to jeans. I love the look of these striped linen pants with this discounted Free People pullover in the neutral/beige color.
+I’m not going to go crazy or stress too much about this now, but I am determined to get back into shape after this baby is born. I have not had a consistent exercise routine since before mini was born (!!!). I am toying with the idea of hiring a trainer to help. But before we get there, I thought this wellness journal was an interesting way to start getting back into a habit of mindfulness when it comes to sleep, food, and exercise.
+This floral ballcap is so cute! I’d wear this to walk Tilly on the weekends with jeans and a white tee or a simple denim dress.
“I go down to the edge of the sea. How everything shines in the morning light! The cusp of the whelk, the broken cupboard of the clam, the opened, blue mussels, moon snails, pale pink and barnacle scarred— and nothing at all whole or shut, but tattered, split, dropped by the gulls onto the gray rocks and all the moisture gone. It’s like a schoolhouse of little words, thousands of words. First you figure out what each one means by itself, the jingle, the periwinkle, the scallop full of moonlight.
Then you begin, slowly, to read the whole story.”
–Mary Oliver, “Breakage”
Some poetry to start your weekend. Nothing like HRH Mary Oliver to put you in your place, to remind you of the vastness and indefatigability of the world around you, to jolt you into your rightful role as interpreter. Sometimes I lose this amidst the never-ending to dos, the march of routines, the nothing conversations about getting from Point A to Point B and whether we’ll have enough roast chicken left over for a second meal. Her poetry brings the world and my hymenopteran role in it back into focus.
Post Scripts.
+If you liked the poem above, you’ll love this one. What other poems do you love?
+I have a set of these melamine bowls that I use for mini’s snacks. They’re a great size, dishwasher-safe, and a lot more attractive than your run-of-the-mill toddler plates/bowls.
+I am still smitten with my Vintner’s Daughter serum, though I had read (and have noticed!) that it increases your skin’s photosensitivity. Even though I apply both fluid sunscreen and a tinted moisturizer with SPF in it, I have noticed a couple of new freckles. I’ve started applying SuperGoop’s SPF 50 Setting Mist on top of my makeup as an extra layer of protection and think it’s doing the trick just fine. (Also, I know that pregnancy makes your skin especially susceptible to freckling and spotting, so this could be exacerbating the issue!)
+On the whole, I feel I’ve been more practical with micro’s wardrobe than I was with mini. She had a closet full of frilly frocks and bubbles and even an Oscar de la Renta (and I’ve never owned something by ODLR myself). That said, I am swooning over these ridiculous Hermes booties. I’ll take it as a sign that the turquoise ones feature a lion print — his spirit animal!
+OK. I’ve been meaning to share this product for literally months but keep forgetting. This Smashbox “Always Sharp” eyeliner is literally THE BEST EYELINER EVER. My mom gave me a pencil in my stocking and I will never go back to anything else. I love it so much that I updated my Best of Everything: Beauty post to include it (and also a couple of other newfound beauty favorites I’ve featured over the past six months — check it out!) Here’s why it’s genius: the cap auto-sharpens the pencil for you so it’s literally always sharp. The formula glides on with ease and stays put. And I love the colors — I wear brown most days, actually!
+I’ve been robe-hunting lately. My beloved waffle robe from PB has seen better days (the lining is tattered!) and I’ve been waiting for a promotion I can pounce on for a little price break, but I’m also in the market for a lightweight cotton robe. I wear a fantastic white cotton one by Calvin Klein that I received as an engagement gift all the time, but it’s also looking a little worse for the wear. I’m drawn to this spunky polka dot style, this elegant Eberjey, and this on-trend Emerson Road. Separately, how insane is this charmeuse lace robe for a bride?! A stunning pick for “getting ready” photos and an elegant addition to a honeymoon trousseau. (More wedding musings and finds in the post-scripts here, if you’re tying the knot soon.)
My best friend delivered her precious daughter a month ahead of her due date last week. Amidst the thrill of watching her become a mother, the tenderness of meeting her daughter for the first time, motherly anxiety over my friend’s exhaustion, and determination to provide support but not be too intrusive, I also — selfishly — flung myself into an internal maelstrom of anxiety and sleeplessness as I pondered the very real possibility that I, too, could deliver my son early, though he is not due for another two months and change. For the next few days, I drew up list after list — general to-dos, what to pack in my hospital bag, even what to place in my cosmetics kit (!). List therapy, I suppose. (Observe my next-level anxiety in this tidbit: I ordered new gridded notepads specifically dedicated toward baby-readiness.) I ordered baby detergent. I emptied mini’s closet, sorted her clothes into “stow” and “donate” piles, and re-filled it more neatly (what this had to do with micro’s arrival is hazy). I organized micro’s clothes by size and then grimaced at how little space I have for anything else for him. I contemplated clearing out one of mini’s dresser drawers and then decided it would generate more stress than was due at this stage. I ordered micro some baby stationery. I laid out my hospital bag, claiming an entire square foot of free space for it on our bedroom floor, much to my own chagrin. I wrapped a gift for my son to give my daughter and placed it in the bag. I ordered a “big sister” dress for mini. I spent an entire afternoon agonizing over the baby’s coming home outfit: Should I splurge on an extravagance from Bonpoint? Go with the Kissy Kissy footie and Beaufort Bonnet Company jammies I’d already bought him?What if this is my last child? EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE PERFECT! I organized a separate Amazon shopping list with everything I think I need for him and for myself that I did not receive at my lovely sprinkle last weekend. I plagued Mr. Magpie with inane, too-specific details: “When should we bring the carseat up and out of storage? The bassinet?” I gulped at the thought of wrangling a bassinet into our already overstuffed master bedroom. In a particularly insane moment, I made a special trip to Duane Reade to pick up a loofah for the hospital. I took out all of mini’s toys and organized them into piles, separating out the items that she’d outgrown and that could therefore either be stowed or donated — all in the hopes of making a little more space for my son’s belongings. This proved a hopeless endeavor, as, after an hour of sorting, I’d somehow ended up with less room (?).
My exertions left me feeling mildly better in the sense that I’d gone from a position of inertia to one of activity, but I was generally flustered. It was as if I’d spent four full days attempting to carve out space for this new little human, only to have the hollow slowly backfilled by sand.
I glanced around the four walls of our Manhattan apartment and heaved a sigh. I love our apartment — Louise, I call her. She’s watchful and decorous and mildly cantankerous. She’s beautifully situated on Central Park West, a stone’s throw from our favorite playground for mini and a 13-minute walk from the Zoo, which we frequent close to weekly. She’s laden with vestiges from the past, like a pass-through from the dining room to the kitchen in the event that our kitchen staff need to be out of sight (har har har) and an old, defunct land-line phone bolstered to the wall that was once used by porters and doormen to alert tenants to the arrival of a visitor downstairs. (The building has since upgraded to a cell phone-calling system.)
But spacious she is not.
“How will we ever fit another person in this apartment?” I asked Mr. Magpie, pacing. “I feel like I’m just moving items from one spot to another and not actually making any progress.”
I was dismayed to find him nod in bewildered agreement.
“I don’t…know.”
“I wish I had a separate room for him. The space for him and just his stuff. I don’t think I’ve really taken the time to make enough space for him.” I found myself treading on the precipice of tears. The metaphor was too obvious too ignore: I was back where I was after that damned yoga class, when I’d realized I’d been off in forgetful la-la land, gliding through my pregnancy without taking the time to truly reflect on how I felt, how this pregnancy felt, what it might feel like to be a mother to two. I’d not afforded myself the bandwidth to fully accommodate the change coming our way. And I was suddenly grappling with the very real, very physical manifestations of this impending and enormous transition.
It dawned on me that Louise was doing me a solid, in a certain sense.
I’m fairly confident I’d eventually have grappled with similar emotions were I still in our roomy Chicago home, with a spare bedroom for micro to occupy; in either case, our family would be growing and we would need to rearrange our lives to make space for this newest, sweetest member, whoever he is. I’m certain I’d still experience the mild panic that flares up when I realize that my Tuesdays and Fridays alone with mini are numbered, and that I must make the most of these remaining mommy-and-me times, even when I am cursing myself for walking twenty-two blocks at break-neck speed in the still-cold March mornings to get to the Natural History Museum, feeling like an enormous keg on legs as I huff and puff and try to ignore the need to pee every three seconds.
And even in Chicago, I’d have struggled with the thought that it might not be logistically possible to stick to our current morning and evening routines, as I might be nursing, or putting micro to sleep, or attempting to claim an extra ten minutes of sleep after a long night shift. The prospect of these changes — in our schedules, in our roles as parents, in our interactions with mini — fills me with, well, dread, though I don’t like the dismal sound of that word, because it is a thorny tangle of unknowns, and I am a creature of habit, and I worry with disproportionate angst about in any way upsetting mini or alienating her from the habits she knows and loves or accidentally injuring her out of forgetfulness, or survivalism, or the general shift in gears. Will she care if suddenly I am no longer the one bathing her at night? Will she wonder why I am no longer the first face she sees in the morning, bearing her milk, often in the pink sippy cup because it’s her favorite? Will she stand at the foot of my hospital bed and peer up at me with that little upside down “u” her lips make when she is scared and on the verge of tears?
Louise and her diminutive frame have forced me to confront these upheavals earlier than I might have were I still in Illinois, ensconced in the graciously-sized home we had there, easily able to convert our third bedroom (a guest room!) into a second nursery. Meanwhile: “Chop chop, toots,” says Louise, as she watches me scurry around her confines.
And I am grateful to her, in a way, for her tough love. Because after the frenzy, after the tearfulness invoked by my frantic musings, a kind of calm set in. I saw that I’d been over-precious and overbearing in my exertions. Mini will be fine and we will be fine and, yes, we will be bursting at the seams until we move in the fall, but life has a funny way of working itself out. It always has. And as I watched mini leap with unbridled glee from the marbled step of the small chapel to St. Mary in the vestibule of our Church last Sunday, something clicked open. I was reminded of how simple and uncluttered life is for her. How easy it is for her to propel herself into a fit of laughter with the sparest of materials: a small step to jump from, the shock and hilarity of the thump of her feet on the marble, the promise of my ready smile on the other end. How little she needs besides my loving onlooking. I nodded to myself: yes, we have room to spare.
Post Scripts.
+Love this girly drop-waist dress in the pink and robin’s egg blue. So chic. Love the idea of pairing it with pointed-toe white flats or loafers for spring.
+Speaking of athletic wear, have heard such good things about these inexpensive leggings, which come in a rainbow of colors.
+Just added this cardigan in the sky blue color to my cart. Such a pretty, fresh look for spring with white skinnies.
+Serena & Lily is running a 20% off anything promotion with code INSPO. A great time to snag this teak stool (which so many of you love, and which now comes in new colors), these counter stools (#foreverchic), and these side tables.
+Mini’s spirit animal was the giraffe; micro’s seems to be the lion. I can’t explain why. Though (for obvious, aforementioned spatial considerations) I don’t intend to buy many new books or toys for micro, I think I will buy him this and this.
+Thank you and un-thank-you to the reader who pointed me int the direction of handbag label Corroon. Coveting one of these bags something fierce.
I can barely squeeze mini’s feet into her current crop of shoes but am trying to make them last until we can transition to spring footwear. I did buy her these (on ridiculous sale for under $10 thanks to the current promotion) out of desperation when I couldn’t make her everyday boots fit anymore! At any rate, I’ve spent a lot of time poring over shoes, looking for the absolute best as we embark on a new season. I thought I’d share some of my favorite finds:
+VEB Bow Mary Janes. (Seen above.) I MEAN. The bow. THE BOW. I wish I’d discovered this label before mini was a bit too old for pram shoes! I’m swooning over them.
+Donsje Booties. Mini had a pair last winter and this one and they are beautifully-made and hold up very well. (I also like that they are gender-neutral and can be passed down to micro.) They’re lined with a fur/shearling situation so they are super snuggly and warm and — I mean, how cute are they?!
+Elephantito Mary Janes (infant sizes here). Mini has had several pairs of these since she was born, and in a range of colors. I love the traditional styling and details — especially the scalloping and the little pearl button. They are super sturdy and I found that they were among the easiest shoes for her to walk in when she was first teetering around. The sole is thick but not ungainly/awkward looking. I usually buy them in metallics because they go with everything. I have also purchased mini mary janes from line ChildrenChic when I really needed a pair of black velvet ones and couldn’t find any I liked anywhere else. They are simple if a bit boring in my opinion — but a good standby if you’re ever looking for a particular color.
+La Coqueta Pram Shoes. I had these in bisque/taupe color for mini when she was tiny and they are the sweetest things. Such soft leather and the greatest colors. Already eyeing these pram booties for micro.
+Elephantito Loafers. I already have my eyes on these little loafers for micro once he’s of a suitable foot size.
+Ralph Lauren Briley Crib Shoes. These were probably among my favorite shoes I had for mini when she was itty bitty. They’re just BEYOND.
+Jacadi Sneakers. I’ve always had great luck with Jacadi shoes. The styling is always on-point and they come in the cutest colors and prints. I’m especially into these canvas sneakers for micro.
+Artemis Loafers. Currently dying (!!!!) over the precious mommy-and-me loafers from Artemis. I mean!!! I am going to wait for mini to reach maybe five or six but how cute would a little lass be wearing these to school?!
+Cienta T-Strap Canvas Sneakers. I love this style because they can be worn with or without socks and have a timeless, classic quality to them. Mini worn these in red all summer long.
+Superga 2750 JVEL Classics. Mini owns these in the lace-up variation and they are PRECIOUS. I’m thinking of buying these velcro ones this summer as we move through toilet training and need shoes that she can remove herself — and quickly.
+Native Shoes Jeffersons. These are ubiquitous on the toddler set these days. They’re brilliant because they are breathable, easy to keep clean, and can go in water with no problem. I love these for summers in Central Park, when mini is wont to run into a splash pad once or twice a day. I loved this marbled pair and already have them waiting in her closet.
+Veja Sneakers. I am planning to buy mini her first pair for this summer. She’ll be so trendy in them! These are on sale (but already sold out in her size); how cute are the animals on it?!
+Sweet N Swag. Mini had a few pairs of mocs (they’ve since discontinued the style) from this brand and I was very impressed with the colors and quality. They’re a lot like the pricier Freshly Picked but about half the price! Some precious basics here.
+Zutano Booties. For when the babies are itty bitty teeny weeny — these are so easy to put on and keep in place. (Also, can be tossed in the laundry.)
+Salt Water Sandals. I just love the classic styling of these timeless shoes. And they can be worn in the water. Mini wore these in pink on our most recent trip down to FL.
+Igor Tenis Jellies. I guess I grew up in the 90s because I love a jellie sandal — and these are a little classier than the average one you’ll find.
+Socks: I like Gap’s roll-down ones for everyday (they are super thick and well-made, and I buy them always in white), Jefferies for “party socks,” and either Condor or Pretty Originals for knee socks (with flair).
One other note — I know I sound like a broken record, but crisp sheets make any bed more inviting. If you’re not an insane person like me and don’t feel like ironing your sheets, I can’t recommend The Laundress’ Crease Release enough as a passable alternative. (I’ve actually heard people say this Mojito-scented wrinkle releaser from Cold Iron is even better at removing wrinkles, but I’m too invested in The Laundress scent!) I regularly spritz down our pillows and sheets with it, smooth them over, and immediately want to get back in bed. Oh — and also — when you are buying pillows, make sure to buy inserts that are 2″ bigger than the pillow sham’s measurements. So if you buy a pillowcase that is, say, 14 x 14, buy a pillow insert that is 16 x 16. I know it sounds weird and you’ll be worried it won’t fit, but I promise it will and it will give your bed/couch that plush, full look you’re looking for. I bought these 28 x 28 Euro sham inserts for our Hill House Home euro shams and panicked when they arrived — they are ENORMOUS and overstuffed. But they absolutely make the bd.
Q: Are Hill House Home sheets soft? I’ve always bought on sale Frette but my latest set’s white is fading and I need something that feels good without the high price, i.e., I’m-married-now-and-raising-kids-so-have-more-to-consider-than-myself!
A: Oooh, Frette and Yves Delorme are #bedgoals for me. I would say that our HHH sheets (we have the Chancery Lane set) are more crisp and cool than “soft,” but that was intentional on my end. I wanted a bed that had a kind of polished, tidy look to it — I even use starch on my pillows! Ha. The quality of HHH sheets is clearly very high and they feel like buttah, kind of silky — but I think if you want something with a lot of plushness and give to it, you might want to either check out a different set from HHH (I believe they use different fabrics for different collections; Chancery Lane is a percale) or go into a proper bedding shop to feel the difference between vendors. I do think HHH bedding is better and softer than the other two brands I used prior: Restoration Hardware and Matouk.
A: UPDATE: A reader wrote in after the initial publication of this post to let us know that this dress does in fact run large and to size down. I have found Mango runs true to size! Let me also take this occasion to share this STUNNING classic shirtdress from Mango. It gives me all the Hitchcock Heroine vibes and I want it SO BADLY.
Q: Hi! I got married in September and am trying to think of a good birthday gift for my new husband. He’s turning 31 so in his mind it’s not a big birthday, but I want to get him something special. Any ideas? I’d like to keep it under $500.
A: So sweet! I included some of Mr. Magpie’s favorite belongings here — maybe that will spark some ideas. Otherwise, a few thoughts:
If he’s a tech guy, the latest edition of Apple TV, an Apple HomePod, an iPad mini, or AirPods would all be excellent gifts. I’ve given Mr. Magpie all of these items at one time or another and he’s always like a kid on Christmas, tearing into the box, eager to get his new gadget set up. The same goes for anything (!) from Nest or Philips Hue — Mr. Magpie is a huge smart home guy, and everything syncs through our HomePod. (He recently talked about wanting these as additional lighting under our cabinets in our kitchen.) It’s amazing.
A really nice bottle of scotch or Bourbon that he would never buy for himself, plus appropriate glassware/bar accessories. Mr. Magpie was promoted at work recently and we bought him a bottle of Bowmore Scotch that he has been obsessing over. (It was especially appropriate since he visited Islay in Scotland not too long ago with his buddies — which is where Bowmore is produced.) I recently bought Mr. Magpie this proper cocktail pitcher and he treated himself to some new whiskey snifters so that he could fully appreciate the nicer bottles he buys for himself; he loves having all the right accoutrements. And don’t forget the fancy ice molds! Mr. Magpie uses these when he makes old fashioneds at home (and these fancy cocktail cherries).
Does he need a new briefcase? I bought Mr. Magpie a Filson a few years ago. I think it’s the perfect man bag because it’s rustic and masculine thanks to the canvas but also refined enough for the office. Mr. Magpie carries his every day. I also considered getting him one of these epic J.W. Hulme briefcases, which you can have monogrammed, but they are pricier!
Finally — does he wear a watch? Shinola is a super cool Detroit-based watch startup and I love their green-faced Runwell in particular. Sporty but polished.
Q: We have a black tie wedding to attend over Memorial Day weekend (at The Pierre), and I’m wondering if you have any thoughts on dresses. I’m a mom to a 1 1/2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old (I’m still seemingly adjusting to life with 2, but it’s wonderful, so hang in there!), so nothing too revealing of course. I have a slim build, in case that helps.
A. Um, what a gorgeous setting for a wedding! A true Manhattanite dream. If you’re after a black dress, check out some of the picks in the first answer in this Q+A roundup. BUT — black tie doesn’t mean you have to wear black. My first thoughts for black tie attire are always Zimmermann’s draped satin beauties (I own three or four variations on this and they’re always just STUNNING — I love this one in the nude), Self-Portrait (dying over this Grace Kelly blue stunner), Needle & Thread for an ethereal goddess vibe (love this and this), and Alice McCall for when you want to turn up the heat (how epic is this?!) A few more moderately priced picks I love: this Reformation (the back is TO DIE), this Shona Joy (which gives me major Zimmermann vibes), and this heavily-discounted Ulla Johnson beauty.
Q: Help! What to wear when meeting parents of a guy I’ve been dating? They are the country club set and I want to look classy but not spend over $100 on a dress.
A: Having just celebrated mini’s birthday earlier this month, I feel I can speak with authority on this one. Mini’s favorite toys right now are this Janod doctor kit (SO cute — she even brought it to her two-year check up and has been using the word “tongue depressor” around the house), this Little People dollhouse, this $5 miracle, and allll the books. Mini’s latest favorite thing is to “read in bed” (her crib), shouting every few minutes “MORE BOOKS!” I love it. Some of her favorite books right now are all of these by Mo Willems (a good box gift set!), Madeline, Knuffle Bunny (also by Mo Willems), Arlo Needs Glasses (super cute interactions — you can literally try glasses on a pop-up dog on one page), and a bunch of the Little People, Big Dreams books, like this one on Marie Curie. I personally adore the Little People series because they feature strong women doing interesting things across a range of industries and the images are — how do I say this? — sophisticated? Like, I have had the occasion to introduce her to the words “abacus,” “beaker,” “syringe,” and “corset” while reading a few of her favorites. Love these from a vocabulary acquisition standpoint.
My recent post on interviewing do’s and don’ts reminded me of a peculiar question I fielded while interviewing for my last “traditional” job (i.e., pre-entrepreneurship, though I wouldn’t call any of my jobs traditional):
“What makes you laugh?”
The question caught me off guard and I fumbled for a minute trying to simultaneously assess what the interviewer was getting at and devise a suitably authentic, interesting response. Ultimately, I said what came to mind first:
“My sister.”
You see, my sister Christina is possibly the most hilarious person on the planet. She is the only person who can have me doubled over in laughter in the most inappropriate of circumstances. She leaves me actually rolling on the floor with laughter, gasping for air — even now, on the precipice of 35 years old. Just a look from her can send me off the deep end.
But why is she so funny? What about her? What kind of humor makes me tick? This was, I presume, what the interviewer was after: how well do you know yourself?
For one thing, Christina is exceptionally quick-witted and part of her hilarity is the insane speed with which she can come up with the perfect retort. While I’m still digesting the prompt, she’s on round three of riposte. She also has a seemingly encyclopedic grasp of pop culture and personal allusion, so she’ll trot out the most obscure, perfectly-suited of references: “That’s Mr. Potato Head to you,” she’ll toss out to no one and everyone while cooking in the kitchen, a random allusion to Toy Story, or “OK, Midge,” she’ll say, off-the-cuff, referring to a Barbie we had when we were little that we classified as “uppity,” a “richie rich,” when I’ve said something snobby. It’s also her tone — unassuming and easy, though occasionally with a glint of wickedness in her eye. And she’s unintentionally or intentionally full of malapropisms that she delivers with casual conviction. Once, while cruising down Connecticut Avenue in D.C., mid-conversation, as if commenting on the weather, she saw a built muscleman running in a cropped gray hoodie:
“…Then we need to pick up the groceries. Oh look, Rocky Bullwinkle. Do you think we need more milk?”
I knew who she meant — Rocky Balboa — but for some reason her decision to make a deep cut reference to a cartoon from her childhood made me laugh so hard I almost drove the car off the road. There was also a time she told me I needed to “keep beating the horse til it was dead.” The gruesome image has stuck with me and left me giggling to myself at odd and inopportune moments, like during the consecration at Mass.
At heart, what makes me laugh in all of these instances, is her heart. Her idiosyncratic, skeptical, occasionally absurd, highly-observant way of watching and remarking upon the world, of interpreting the here-and-now through the prism of reference and memory.
And also, if I’d answered truthfully, her silliness makes me laugh. Slapstick humor. Inane, meaningless sounds — like when, on the eve of her wedding, Mr. Magpie’s knee bones crackled and popped as he climbed into a cab, and she said, in an Italian grandmother accent: “you have creaky bones” (“you hav-a da crick-eh bown-seh”) and then we spent the next 24 hours randomly blurting out “crickeh bownseh,” even just hours before she was about to tie the knot. I can be overly cerebral about things, but give me a well-timed tumble or a fatuous rejoinder, and I’m off to the races.
It’s easier for me to pinpoint what makes me cry: everything. But I am principally moved by softness in others. When I see someone do something kind, or express hurt or fear or pain, or otherwise demonstrate tenderness, I am a mush-y mess. There is something about the maskless admission of vulnerability that I find gutting, like when I saw the rabbit’s foot on Mr. Magpie’s phone. My father is not a crier, but he cannot get through the telling of a particular story that led him to dedicate the majority of his retirement years to the cause of ending veteran homelessness in Washington, D.C.: he was touring a housing facility and an amputee in a wheelchair needed assistance getting into a building on a cold, gray day, and he said: “Can somebody please help me?” As a devout Catholic, my father insists that this was the voice of God speaking directly to him. And I think this moves him. But more than that, I think it is the vision of someone desperate and in pain, admitting to his own vulnerability and need, that leaves him dabbing his eyes. The apple does not fall far from the tree. I can scarcely think of that moment or of my father’s retelling of it without my eyes welling up.
What about you? What makes you laugh? What makes you cry?
Post-Scripts: Classic Pieces.
One of you lovely Magpies (hi, Maria!) requested some additional “classic, timeless” pieces on the heels of the ones I shared in this post. I loved the provocation and thought I’d share my response in addition to a couple of other finds:
“I can tell you that I have a few shirtdresses in solids and stripes that I wear season after season. Another favorite is this J. Crew dress, which I own in the khaki color. I think it looks equally chic with pointed toe heels for a more business appropriate setting as it does with Superga sneakers for traipsing around Central Park — and even with loud, trendy mules for meeting up with friends!
I also love every single DVF wrap dress I’ve ever bought. I bought my first when I was just out of college at a major Shopbop sale for around $150 (a major splurge for me) and still wear it every single season, in addition to some newer ones I’ve bought over the years. You can often find them on sale at The Outnet. I love both this and this. Her wrap styles are super flattering and stand up well to the test of time — though I find that the vee on most of them is too revealing, and so I usually use double-sided tape or a safety pin to secure it. I think these wrap dresses can look youthful on a 20-something and tasteful on an 80-something. They’re the best investment when it comes to dresses.
+These tortoise-shell pumps (currently on sale for under $100). They are eternally chic. Doesn’t matter the year, the season, your age, your occasion: they will work. I’d wear them with anything from a simple shirtdress to jeans and a cashmere sweater. No brainer for a polished, traditional look.
+Tweed blazer. Chic with jeans or a tailored skirt/dress.
+A pleated midi skirt. I’ve seen young women wear this sort of thing with GG sneaks and a leather jacket up here in NYC and look incredibly on-trend, and I’ve also seen older women wear these kinds of skirts with a cashmere crewneck and Chanel flats and look notably classy and refined.
+Chambray midi. This is another piece that feels a tiny bit retro in the most feminine, fetching of ways. This could be worn with lace-up slides and a white eyelet blouse for a classic early summer look — or with a silk button-down and heels for the office. I love love love a silhouette like this.
P.P.S. File under: random things that make me happy. I just ordered these little treat cups. I love using them when mini has playdates: I’ll cut up kiwi and berries and dole out goldfish and Bambas and put them all on a tray for the little ones to enjoy in the perfect little portions. In the past, I’ve bought them in stripes and polka dots, but how darling is the floral print?! It’s the little things, people.
P.P.P.S. I love the word skulduggery and was excited to use it here. What other words do you love (or hate)?
By: Jen Shoop
My Latest Snag: Children’s Stationery from Preppy Prodigy.
I recently re-stocked our stationery drawer with some new stationery from Preppy Prodigy, which has the sweetest prints for little ones. I snagged this set for mini — the colors are fantastic! I love when designers use sophisticated colors like gray/taupe! Also loving these bunny gift tags. Might order a set of those to accompany with an Easter baked good for loved ones and neighbors.
If you went to college: did you get into your first-choice school? How did that impact you?
I have been thinking about this while reading Michelle Obama’s account of her own education, where she mentions, in passing, that she “was applauded just for getting in [to Harvard Law School], even if the truth was I’d somehow squeaked in off the wait list.” I’d somehow forgotten, or willfully buried, or otherwise distanced myself from the petulance and bristle that emerged whenever someone asked me: “Where are you going to school?” or “Where do you go to school?” or “Where did you go to school?” I wonder what it would feel like to have been admitted to my top-choice school, whether or not I’d been ushered in off the wait-list.
Academics were my thing throughout my childhood and teenage years. I was high-performing. I earned As with ease. I won nearly every academic award at the end of each school year throughout grade school and was valedictorian of my high school class (though we didn’t use the term valedictorian at Visitation). Teachers praised me. Classmates labeled me as “smart.” It was who I was.
I set my sights on Princeton by sophomore year of high school. Fashioning myself as a character out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, I anticipated an intellectual blossoming during my college years that would only — could only — take place at my rightful home among the greenswards and Gothic architecture of Tiger territory in Princeton, New Jersey. I was even selected to participate in a program for gifted students at Princeton when I was a rising high school junior; I took the train up with my friend Meghan and we spent the day in mini-lectures and courses, toured the campus, and spoke briefly with members of faculty and admissions. I took this as a gesture of courtship.
I applied early decision. I had family members who had attended Princeton write letters of recommendation on my behalf. Everyone assured me it was a done deal.
And so I was astonished when a thin rejection envelope arrived in the mail. I dropped to my knees in histrionics and refused to eat or talk to anyone in my family for a full day, sulking in my room, wondering what I had done to deserve this injustice.
I begrudgingly turned my attention to my other applications while sullenly observing that nearly everyone else in my friend group had been accepted into an Ivy League school: E. and N. were going to Princeton; T. was bound for Dartmouth; M. was headed to Harvard; S. was off to Brown; M. was matriculating to Penn. Meanwhile, I was beginning to wonder whether I’d get into either of my second choice schools: UVA or Duke. Though I knew both were great options, I couldn’t help but observe that though I had the highest GPA in my class, I was not going to be an Ivy Leaguer, and maybe not a Blue Devil or Wahoo, either — and it did not seem fair.
Ultimately, I got into both UVA and Duke and waited until the very last possible moment to send in my acceptance letter to UVA, swayed by its offer of an Echols Scholarship and its proximity to home. For months, though, I found myself performing excitement about my future academic home. I felt I’d been treated unfairly in the application process. After years and years of academic assiduousness, operating under the premise that my hard work would pay off, I felt defaulted, cheated. Or maybe I was being punished for my intellectual snobbery, I mused. Maybe this was a comeuppance I needed?
I now look back and know that UVA was the best place for me. Though I have no point of comparison, it just felt right the entire time I was there. I had several close friends who transferred schools over the course of their college experiences, but such an upheaval never once flitted through my mind. I was snug, secure, happy. The academics were rigorous and rewarding, and being in the Echols program stroked my fragile ego and enabled me to retain my claim on cerebrality — gifts I may not have enjoyed at an Ivy League school, where I’d be one of thousands of academically-oriented students, and probably one of the lower performing ones if I am honest. Meanwhile, the UVA social scene scene and especially its equilibrium with academics was new and thrilling. Though this is an over-broad generalization, I found that many of my UVA classmates were more balanced than I’d been as a high school student hell-bent on an Ivy League school. Though Wahoos studied hard and took their academics seriously, grades weren’t everything. There was a low-key-ness to academic exertion at UVA: less hype, less humble bragging about how many hours had been spent in the library, less anxiety around scores and deadlines. My classmates tended to work hard and then shift gears to attend to other interests. I learned that academics was just one of many spheres in which to cultivate myself, and watched with interest as classmates with wide-ranging interests and talents garnered attention and respect of commensurate intensity. I remember a super-attractive, super-fratty, super-southern boy who seemed to be at the pinnacle of the Greek social ladder mentioning, with no small amount of reverence, that his girlfriend was a big deal in the student judiciary system. (I also discovered, to my surprise, that she was a “GDI” — “goddamn independent” — meaning that she was not in a sorority.) The entire thing confused and impressed me; I had assumed that student politics were a brainy, dorky operation and that participants in the realm would be relegated to second-class status in the overall social hierarchy of the school. This was not the case. I learned this lesson over and over again while at UVA, each time restructuring my vision of merit, social standing, and “coolness.” Of course, it’s possible I could have learned these lessons at another institution, but it seems to me that UVA had a different vibe than some of the other schools I pined after when it came to matters of intellectualism and academics–one that placed other realms of achievement on an even playing field.
I also fell in love with Mr. Magpie there, and of course cannot imagine my life being as rich and beautiful as it has been without his dramatic entrance and steady, substantial presence in it.
Aside from teaching me balance and presenting the logistical opportunity to meet and court my future husband, not getting into my first-choice school represented the first of countless times in my life where I have been hell-bent on something only to fail at achieving my expected outcome. I like to think these failures have taught me grit and resilience, but that’s a bit self-aggrandizing. The truth is that they have humbled me. They have taken me down a peg. They have forced me to confront the gray area between fate and agency, and to take the best from both perspectives. Some days, I thought: I didn’t get into Princeton because it wasn’t meant to be. I’m learning what I need to learn. God willed it this way.Admissions are random anyway. Other days, I thought: I didn’t get into Princeton because I was too focused on academics. I should have played a varsity sport, or pursued piano more aggressively, or participated more intensively in volunteering, or or or or. I didn’t get in because there are so many people out there who are smarter and more hard-working than I am. In other words, not getting in set the stage for countless rounds of self-reflection and more general negotiations with what I can and cannot control. These are healthy musings. They ground me. They prevent me from taking anything for granted. They remind me that life not fair, and no one said it would be — but then again, there are always things I could have done differently, and I need to learn what I can from my own missteps.
Still, as I read Michelle Obama’s book, I found myself wondering what would have happened had I gotten into Princeton. Who would I have been? Would I have learned the same lessons, perhaps more painfully, four years later, when applying to graduate school and not getting in to a first-choice school there? Would I have skated through life with an unearned sense of bravado and ease for longer, only to topple elsewhere? Would I be less inclined toward risk, or more inclined toward it? I wonder how deeply my change in college plans impacted who I have become.
What about you? Did you get into your first-choice school? How has it shaped you?
#Shopaholic: The Floral Anorak.
+Loving this floral anorak as a transition piece for spring. Such a light-hearted way to add a print to your wardrobe.
+Swooning over the vintage vibes on this toddler bubble. I am also suddenly, gut-wrenchingly aware that mini can no longer wear baby clothes like this. For starters, she barely fits into a size 2T (she is SO tall), but her long legs also make me think that putting her in bubbles/sunsuits will look oddly infantalizing. Sigh.
+Yoox has some incredible Self-Portrait dresses on super sale. Love this.
+As of the time of writing this, I am being bizarrely last-minute about what I will be wearing to my baby sprinkle (which is taking place today, Saturday, probably while you are reading this!) My front runner has been this dress, which works with the bump and can be tied in the back to have a huge and dramatic bow. I love it. I also ordered this Emilia Wickstead dress when it went on sale, but it doesn’t work quite as well as I’d expected with the bump. And then, at the last minute, I ordered this fun Ulla Johnson tunic because — it jumped out at me. Such different vibes! I have no clue what I’m going to end up with!
+Two books on my radar for mini: this one on Maria Montessori (mini starts Montessori this fall!) and this one (love the illustrations!) Also, mini is a Mo Willems convert. She is IN LOVE with Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. Thanks to all of the mamas who raved about this author! I especially love the pigeon book — I think it puts the kiddo in an interesting position where he/she has to be the disciplinarian! Love it.
*I always get a lot of questions about the print on the pillow above whenever they’ve made a cameo in an Instastory/post — they are from this Etsy shop, one of my favorite sources for throw pillows!
Listening to…the new Maren Morris album (not as good as her prior one, but I just love her), H.E.R., and Madeleine Peyroux.
Eating a lot of…recipes from Six Seasons: A New Way with Vegetables. Very impressed with this cookbook. The recipes are approachable (and, for the most part, not too involved for a weeknight meal), but I’m eating a more varied diet of vegetables rather than reaching for old stand-bys that I tend to roast and dress simply in olive oil and Maldon salt (<<such a good addition to your pantry if you don’t have it! I sprinkle it on everything from avocado toast to pan-seared steak). This week, we ate turnips with fra diavola butter, baby artichokes, porcinis…all out of the ordinary for us and such a fun departure!
Drinking a lot of…Soba tea from Harney & Sons. My sister turned me onto this and I am obsessed! It’s roasted buckwheat and, when steeped in boiling water, it tastes like delicious, toasty rice water. I can’t explain it compellingly, but it has a delicious postprandial chew to it. A sweet member of my book club brought me two of these oversized mugs in the pink color and I love drinking my evening soba tea out of them.
Ordering too many…cookies from Milk & Cookies. I wish I hadn’t discovered they were on Postmates, but I am hopelessly devoted to their sprinkle cookies and chocolate-peanut butter ones.
Watching…Billions. We’re late to the game but very into this show. Mr. Magpie is far more paced than I am when it comes to something he’s interested in, so we’ll watch one or two episodes per week even though I have the appetite to binge the entire series, like, yesterday. I find the acting quality uneven but Paul Giamatti is INCREDIBLE. We’ve also been catching up on all the Oscar nominees that we’d not seen. I hated Bohemian Rhapsody (horrible screenwriting; I feel like I knew less about the band after seeing the movie than I did before) and thoroughly enjoyed A Star Is Born. Bradley Cooper is magnetic.
Indulging in…an oat milk latte every now and then. I love the ones from Irving Farm and Blue Bottle.
Craving…fruit and red meat. I was like this with my first pregnancy, too, oddly enough; I obviously need the vitamins and iron they provide. (Incidentally, I am mildly anemic, so this makes sense to me.) I eat an apple after dinner almost every single night and a banana as a snack almost every day at 3 P.M. But all day long, I’m a fruit monster — give me all the berries, melon, and pineapple in particular. Back in Chicago, I used to force Mr. Magpie to drive me all the way across town to our favorite Vietnamese restaurant (Tank Noodle) for a mango bubble tea every weekend. I don’t have a solid bubble tea/smoothie spot on the UWS so Mr. Magpie recently went out and got all the ingredients to make one for me at home! Heaven. We’ve also been eating more steak than usual (though in small portions — we tend to double up on veg and starch and eat just a tiny serving of steak) and probably once every two or three weeks I cajole Mr. Magpie into getting a burger with me. The baby wants what he wants — and sometimes that’s a Shake Shack burger, delivered to our apartment in under 30 minutes. (<<This has happened at least a dozen times since we moved to NYC. Not mad about it, but probably should be embarrassed by it.)
Prime-ing…My most recent order: a new bottle of The Laundress Crease Release (I use this between launderings/ironings to keep our bedding looking tidy), some almond body oil (my skin is SO DRY after showering and I’ve heard great stuff about this inexpensive oil), a Mo Willems book for mini (on the recommendation of so many of you wonderful magpies mamas! — MINI LOVES IT), and a new dog toy for Tilly. I like this brand; they tend to last a lot longer than most others. (Also love the Fluff N Tuff stuffies, which tend to last longer than most as well.)
Obsessing over…Vintner’s Daughter Active Botanical Serum. This product had a ton of hype and I’d been writing about it for nearly a year (or so pointed out a reader in a comment on a recent post!), so when my last bottle of Truth Serum ran dry, I gave it a go. It is heavily (gorgeously, in my opinion) perfumed, so not for the faint of heart when it comes to scented products — but the results are crazy. My skin is smooth, clear, soft, and bright. I’ve struggled with breakouts for the past few years, and, just like that, my skin went clear. I am truly astounded. I don’t think it has the same immediate “the light switch has been flipped on” effect that my beloved Truth Serum (or the Mario Badescu Vitamin C serum — which I think is just as good as the Ole Henriksen formula, and it lasts longer) has, but using it over the course of the past few weeks has completely shocked me.
Wearing…My pregnancy uniform: leggings/maternity jeans (I am loving these coated ones, which multiple fellow pregnant women have stopped to ask me about!), a Gap or Ingrid & Isabel maternity tee (love this exact style — on sale!), an oversized sweater, duster, or sweatshirt (I have been wearing this super casual/oversized/balloon-sleeved one in white a lot, though the bump is making it increasingly short), and interesting footwear. (I wrote more about my minimalist approach to pregnancy style in this Q+A if you’re interested.) Honestly, I’m pretty sick of winter because I’m so rutted by maternity fashion, which I feel like I’ve been wearing forever. I did just order this as an option for Easter, when I’ll be ENORMOUS (less than a month away from my due date) and in desperate need of something fresh/new. In the meantime, my saving grace has been all of the fun hair accessories in vogue right now. So fortunate that these are trendy at the moment, as you’re never too big for a hair clip 🙂 They add a little interest to any old look — including an uber-basic combo of black leggings and a white maternity tee. I especially love my pearl hair clip, my Gucci dupe hair clip, my Lele Sadoughi headband, and my LSF scrunchies.
Buying…Starting to stock up on my hospital bag essentials (#planner) and have decided to include some new treats for myself, like new nursing jammies (I recently bought these and a fourth one of these — I’m actually already wearing these nursing nightgowns; they are sooo soft and comfortable!), a new nursing bra (thanks to all the readers for this rec!), and some fun new travel-sized cosmetics (just ordered this!) Beyond that, I am having a hard time saying no to additions to micro’s wardrobe and am trying to buckle down and buy cotton basics this go around rather than frou frou rompers and bubbles. I found some great Polarn O. Pyret pieces on sale on Amazon (like these and these), some discounted Kissy Kissy jammies, and — yes — a couple of ridiculous items for summer, like a Pixie Lily sunsuit. Also just ordered mini some new spring jammies: this, to be paired with this on Easter morning. (More Easter picks.)
Curious about…What childbirth will be like this time around (will I need a c-section again?! Will I experience matrescence differently?) and, more frivolously, cleaning up my beauty routine. Is it time to switch to a natural deodorant, for example, as my sister has? (This has gotten good reviews.) I was so intrigued by some of the comments on my recent post on great beauty buys under $50 — several of you mentioned that you’d “gone clean” in the cosmetics department and it’s been on my mind since.
Thinking about…So many of the generous and thoughtful comments in reaction to my post on getting engaged and being a huge brat about it. I loved especially this from Anna — “What a beautiful reckoning with your own past missteps. Are any of us our best selves at 24?” — and this from Joyce: “I got chills reading this! Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly. The only thing I want to say is I do not think you were pathetic, even if you acted in less than ideal ways. You were doing the best that you could in the moments that you were in. How beautiful you can look back now with the wisdom of experience.” I read both of these, along with snippets of others, aloud to Mr. Magpie over the phone. I have since found myself pondering how many of us went through a similar stage of emotional upheaval waiting for our men to propose to us. Such a peculiarly common experience — one so at odds in some ways with the fact that all of us (yes, I can safely say that) are smart, independent, driven women. Sending a lot of love to those of you currently lumbering in that tricky phase of life.
What’s new with you lately??? Eager to hear what you’ve been coveting, eating, drinking, discovering, musing about!
I have so many friends and readers who are about to give birth to their first children and have been asked a number of times about the absolute must-have items on their registries. I always share my full registry, but today, I thought I’d share my top ten favorite baby products based on three criteria: design, utility, and lifespan.
1 // OXO Wipes Dispenser. This may seem like a frivolous purchase, but it is anything but. I’ve had countless moms write in to let me know how much this changed the game! You can open it with one hand (crucial) and the weighted plate means you only remove one wipe at a time versus yanking at a chain of fifty. The design also keeps wipes moist / prevents them from drying out. This all means you’re not winding up with fifty half-used/half-dried-up individual wipes packs, so I ultimately think this saves money. I order wipes in bulk via Prime’s subscribe & save program, and a box comes once a month. I loved this so much I bought two for our two separate diaper stations in our old home. Glad I’ll have that second one handy with micro on the way — I’ll keep it in our bedroom!
2 // Boon Drying Rack. Still use this. Before mini arrived, I remember asking a girlfriend why it was necessary. “I mean, can’t I just put the bottles away when they come out of the dishwasher? Or let them dry on a dish cloth like the rest of our bulky stuff?” Well, I could — if I wanted a ton of clutter, bottle parts rolling onto the ground, and pieces that might never fully dry. The design of the Boon grass dramatically expedites the air drying process as you can fully invert items, while the grippiness of the grass enables you to make the most of a small area of counterspace without twenty five bottle parts and caps leaning against one another, about to tumble over. I also appreciate the opportunity to corral everything into on designated area; it gives me the semblance of order. AND. On the rare occasion it’s not in use, I like that it can be leaned on its side and stowed in a cabinet.
3 // Babyzen Yoyo Travel Stroller. I was so on the fence about this investment, as we already had a very pricey everyday stroller (a Bugaboo) with all the bells and whistles and I wanted to make do with a cheap travel stroller. But the truth is that I use this stroller at least once or twice a week — anytime we take mini on the subway — and it is an INCREDIBLE stroller. It folds up into a tiny and very portable square that can be slung over a shoulder and does not suffer so many of the deficiencies other travel strollers do — bad folding mechanisms, heavy weight, a fold that leaves the dirty wheels laid up against the child’s headrest, a design that makes it difficult for taller folks (like Mr. Magpie) to push without hitting their feet/shins against the wheels, etc. The Yoyo is easy to use, lightweight, and — though it doesn’t have the suspension of a full-feature stroller — smooth.
4 // Wooden Nesting Blocks. This is the EXACT set mini inherited from Mr. Magpie — I can’t believe I found the EXACT SET on Etsy! But any set of nesting blocks would probably do the trick; these and these are cute. Mini has loved these since virtually the day she was born. The bright colors/shapes/objects on the side) have always attracted her attention, and once she figured out how to stack/nest, they provided hours and hours of fun. I also love that they’re cute enough to display openly (no garish plastic!) and that they teach the concept of size. A fantastic toy to have on hand.
5 // OXO Formula Dispenser. I had so many parents stop me whenever I wielded this in public. “Oh, what is that?” “Oh, that’s so smart!” By pre-portioning formula into the little dividers, I was never scooping out of a spillable baggy and bottle-mixing was a breeze. I kept this in my diaper bag at all times and it saved me — especially on travel days. Brilliant.
6 // Boppy Newborn Lounger. I loveeeeeeed this. So nice to have a soft, lightweight, portable spot to deposit baby while laying in bed, sitting on the couch, taking a shower, etc. So much easier to move than, say, a rocker or glider or swing, and can be tossed in the wash when it needs a cleaning! For $32, a must-have for any new parent. Mini spent so much time in this…I anticipate micro will do the same.
7 // Skip Hop Activity Center. Mini adored this — ADORED THIS — from the minute we unboxed it. The toys were interesting for her to interact with, the music made her smile, and she loved being upright. I have the fondest memories of her sitting in it while Tilly ran by — and she was just gurgling and giggling for hours on end. The center is brilliantly designed, as you can lower the foot base as the baby grows, and then remove the insert and convert the entire thing into an activity table, which mini used for almost a year until we upgraded to a nicer-looking wooden one for her birthday. When I think about the cost per use, this paid for itself a loooong time ago. (Bonus: it can be dissembled and stowed with the legs separate from the top, a feature of which we are availing ourselves until micro needs it.)
8 // Puj Bath Kneeler. When you are on your knees scrubbing a baby every night, this becomes…a godsend. Especially now that I’m pregnant. I love this thing, and also love that it’s not hideously patterned/colored and can easily slide into a cabinet.
9 // Large Woven Basket. I spent an oddly long amount of time hunting for mini’s laundry basket and wound up with this inexpensive Target bin. It’s super lightweight and non-precious so I’ve never minded throwing truly foul/soiled items in there, and it’s been easy to wipe clean. There’s no fabric liner to contend with / stain / worry about laundering. I also love how large it is — big enough to stow a ton of laundry and also an easy target (no lid to remove! no narrow opening to negotiate!) Mine came in solid white, but this gray one is identical in every other way. I also got smaller baskets that coordinated that I used for toys. They’re still kicking! Such a random thing, but one of the best purchases I made for mini’s room.
10 // Tie between the ToteSavvy Diaper Bag Insert and the MZ Wallace Backpack. The Totesavvy enabled me to convert my Goyard into a highly functional diaper bag. I loved how easy it was to keep everything organized and upright with this — and I still use it from time to time, especially on travel days and/or days I’ll be out and about. I also appreciated that it meant I could easily remove my baby stuff if I wasn’t going out with mini, without having to transfer a bunch of stuff to a smaller bag. Meanwhile, the MZ Wallace backpack has been a GAMECHANGER while traveling alone and navigating the city by myself with mini. It’s roomy, super lightweight and collapsible, made of a water/stain resistant material, chic, and highly functional when it comes to ease-of-access-for-critical things. The two “cupholder” pockets mean I always have mini’s water/sippy/bottle in arm’s reach, while the small zippered pouch on the back means I can keep things like hand sanitizer, my subway card, an emergency pack of raisins, and my house key easy to access without unzipping the entire thing. The inside of the backpack includes a zippered compartment (where I hide my wallet — I’m so scared of someone robbing me blind while my hands are full!) and two little sleeves that usually house an easy-to-grab snack (perfect size for a Gogo Squeez / yogurt pouch) and a precious/beloved toy (ahem, her Little People). I can’t rave enough about this backpack if you live in a city and need to be hands-free while navigating public transit on your own with a toddler or baby. FANTASTIC. I even take it to the playground after someone tried to steal my wallet from my bag when I left it in the stroller! I don’t trust anyone.
What are your must-have baby items?
Post Scripts.
A couple of toddler/baby items on my radar right now:
+This, to organize mini’s collection of Gogo Squeezes and Annie’s snack bags. I buy both in bulk from Target and they’re such a handy size and shape to throw in my bag while on the go. I think I might achieve more Marie Kondo zen if I organize all these snacks…
+California Baby bubble bath. People rave about this stuff! Gentle, good smelling, and — importantly — big on bubbles! Mini loves bubbles; just added this to my Amazon cart.
+Precidio Drink in a Box. I’m attracted to the strong reviews (no leaks?!) and the stor-ability of these box sippy cups. Plus — chic!
+Loving this pretty floral collection for H&M — especially this dress! And how cute is this bunny in a dress to coordinate with a dress for mini?! A sweet and affordable option for Easter at only $15, thanks to that darling bunny!
+This $15 swimsuit reminds me of more expensive styles from Minnow Swim.
+I just found an INCREDIBLE resource for vintage children’s clothing on Etsy. I already ordered a couple of pieces, but I love this romper and this dress, too!
+Saks is running a great sale on Kissy Kissy, my favorite infant sleepwear brand. I love this cottontail onesie!
2 // Floral Dress. I’m in love with the easy fit of this LSF. Also love this (such a gorgeous and unexpected shade of blue!), this (reminiscent of Johanna Ortiz!), and this (a flattering cut on so many figures!) But mainly that LSF with simple leather slides…
4 // Simple Slides. I’ve already blathered on and on about these chic ones from Margaux in the saddle brown leather — or, if you’re #extra, the hot pink satin.
5 // Printed Jumpsuit. Love this roomy pair by Ulla Johnson, this $98 find, and this style by Banjanan. If prints are too loud, this white eyelet or this simple belted style is darling, too. I love the idea of layering any of these over a voluminous white blouse during these transitional months and then going bare in summer. Excellent mom-on-the-go look, especially paired with those Margaux slides!
6 // Neutral Sweatshirt. Love the puffed sleeve on this and the chic color (and price tag!) of this bisque style. Pair with white/ivory jeans and neutral sneaks/leather slides…
7 // Something Tie-Dye. I am loving the subtlety of this dress. I love the tie-dye trend paired with more feminine details to avoid an “acid wash 70s redux” vibe — think of pairing a tie-dye pastel with LSF’s floral scrunchies or ladylike flats.
9 // White Mules. Love love love these Stuart Weitzman mules in stark white with — well, everything — for spring. If you live in a warmer climate, also LOVE these open-toed Stauds which are SO on-trend for spring. Dig them in the animal prints, but the stark white is crazy chic, too. I love the idea of pairing either of these with mom jeans and a pastel sweater during these transition-to-warmth months, and then sporting them with floaty spring dresses.
11 // Oversized Hair Clips. I just got my $3 pearl Amazon hair clip in the mail and I have to say — I love it. It’s about what you’d think it’d look like quality wise for the price but it nails the trend and I love the oversized lewk. (PSA: it took like two months for the clip to arrive…) These are similar in style if you can’t wait two months. Also love these and these.
12 // Statement Jeans. I am smitten with these Ulla Johnson jeans — the cut is interesting, the color on-point, and OH man I am itching to buy but in my current (7.5-month pregnant) state, I can’t order…!
13 // Wear Anywhere + Forever Dress. I love all of the trends and prints and all that jazz above, but two dresses that will stand the test of time, age, and countless situations: this eyelet wrap style (love it in that mid blue hue) and this pinstriped shirt dress. Equally appropriate toting children to school, attending a meeting, running after toddlers on a playground, grabbing a cocktail with a friend, dining with in-laws, etc, etc, etc.
P.S. A non-super-matchy-matchy mommy and me look: this dress for mama, this one for mini. Different prints but a similar scale and color and OMG. I’m in love.
