By: Jen Shoop

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A week after we moved into our new apartment, mini and I spent an afternoon baking Martha Stewart’s pumpkin cookies with brown butter frosting, an October tradition chez Shoop for the past many years. It’s unclear to me why this recipe has earned a scant three stars online because they are outrageously delicious. The cookies come out very soft — almost cake-like — and are packed with warm spices, but not overly sweet. And who doesn’t like brown butter frosting?! The recipe yields about 3,000 cookies, which was well-considered on my end, as I planned to bring our new neighbors heaping plates of seasonal cookies by way of warm introduction. (And, as an advanced peace offering for the noise that two children and a large dog will inevitably bring into their formerly quiet lives. Poor neighbors. Both are dog-less older couples who have long since outgrown the itty bitty baby phase and — well — God bless them and godspeed.) Unfortunately, one neighbor informed us that she and her husband “weren’t cookie people” (#mindblown), which incidentally proved to be a relief because mini was extremely confused by this excursion next door and refused to let me pry the plate of cookies out of her fingers, which I was attempting to do one-handed while balancing micro on my hip and calmly explaining what neighborliness meant to a two-year old. So when the friendly neighbor offered: “Oh, it’s OK, darling, we aren’t cookie people anyway — we won’t eat them. You take those back home and enjoy them,” I wasn’t entirely put out. Our other neighbors were out every single time I stopped by to drop off the cookies over the next two days, and I couldn’t find any tupperware or bags to hook on their door (#movingproblems), and so —

We ended up with 3,000 cookies to ourselves, and Mr. Magpie was out of town, and our nanny doesn’t like cinnamon, and mini should only be permitted a scant half cookie at a time, and —

What I’m trying to say is that I think I ate 2,999 pumpkin cookies myself.

They are that good.

And I am kind of glad I won’t see one again until next October.

But those damned cookies speak of fall and are a cherished tradition of mine. I don’t bake much else specific to the autumn season with the exception of this sorghum bourbon pecan pie from one of my favorite cookbooks, which is the definition of sticky-sweet decadence, and the sorghum syrup affords an interesting, sophisticated flavor that sets this particular pecan pie recipe apart from your garden variety. I strongly recommend adding this to your Thanksgiving spread this year. (And serving with vanilla ice cream and a dollop of whipped cream spiked with a pinch of cinnamon.)

While on the subject, I thought I’d share three of my other favorite go-to baking recipes, each of which I make several times a year:

1// Orangette’s banana bread. Just the best. I will never use another recipe. Moist and packed with banana and that cinnamon-sugar streusel is the best thing since…sliced bread.

2 // Sugar cut-out cookies (recipe follows). My all-tie favorite. They are not particularly sweet and therefore need a heavy application of buttercream frosting — but they are my most beloved cookie and anyone who has been friends with me for longer than a minute has seen these on her doorstep at one point or another. The dough holds up very nicely when cut out into shapes, and please note that you should roll the dough fairly thick — like 1/4″ thick. Thicker than you think you should. By the way: I have an enormous barrel of Wilton plastic cookie cutters that I’ve toted around with me for the better part of a decade — maybe longer, actually — and they are absolutely the best. Inexpensive but easy to clean and do not warp. Those metal ones rust, lose shape, and cost a lot of money! I know because I also have an enormous bin of those, as they tend to come in the cutest novelty shapes. But trust me. You need a barrel of those cheap Wilton babies, which come in a range of seasonal-appropriate shapes.

3 // Ina Garten’s Pecan Squares. These remind me a bit of the sorghum pecan pie I referenced earlier (I guess I have a thing for pecans?), and oh mama are they good. The use of citrus and honey in the topping set these apart. My mouth is watering thinking of them. I gave these out as gifts to all the porters and doormen in our building last year and many of them talked about them all year long.

Magpie Sugar Cut-Out Cookies.

Cream 1 cup butter and 1 cup sugar. Mix in 2 eggs and ¼ tsp salt.  In a small ramekin, dissolve 1 teaspoon baking soda in 4 tablespoons milk. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla to the dough and add milk mix alternately with 4 cups all-purpose flour.  Roll out dough. Cut with cutters. Bake at 350 for 8-10 mins.

Post-Scripts: A Few of My Favorite Baking Tools.

+These baking sheets are the absolute best. I found that all of my sheets would eventually warp so they would not lay flat, which was irritating from a storage standpoint (you need baking sheets to stack neatly!) and also from a baking standpoint (would lead to unevenness in cooking!). These Nordicware ones do not warp. Their companion grids/cooling racks are also one of my favorite baking implements — large, fit snugly in a baking sheet, and sturdy.

+I like to use an ice cream scoop when making drop cookies so that they all are about the same size and cook evenly.

+For banana bread, I love my WS Goldtouch loaf tins. They make getting the bread out so easy. Same goes for the muffin tins. The best!

+These oven mitts are absolutely the best. Ever. Ever. And one pair will last you a super long time. The silicon edge means you can grab and hold hot trays/pots without actually having them burn your hand, and the longer arm length means you can reach way into an oven while protected. They are also super thick. Those WS ones I used for years on end are basically pieces of paper towel draped around your hand. No bueno.

+I’ve written about this elsewhere, but one of the best home organization projects I’ve undertaken was decanting all of my spices into uniform jars and organizing them into two of these bins, one for spices A-G and one for spices H-Z. I then labeled all of the spice jars on the lids using my beloved label maker. This has made cooking/baking with spices so much more pleasant than rifling through a big and unwieldy bin. Things are so easy to find!

+This cake dome has proven to be one of my most-used home items. I always have something in there — whether it’s store-bought or home-made. Bonus: you can invert the dome into the base and it becomes a punch bowl, which I have done on more than one occasion (champagne punch for the holidays! sangria!), and have even used when we have a glut of produce and nowhere to store it. (Instant oversized fruit bowl!)

+Related: my mother-in-law has an impressive array of cake stands and she always finds the most creative ways to use them in tablescapes, to showcase beautiful fruits, etc. I feel like she’d adore these jade ones.

+Meri Meri always makes the cutest cupcake liners.

+I have always wanted to buy a tiered serving stand, though I think Mr. Magpie might have my head on a platter if I introduce one additional piece of entertaining servewear into our home. (Ahem.) I just think it would be such a fun (and space-saving!) way to serve up appetizers. I love this one, this one, and this one.

+Love gifting goodies in cute treat boxes, like these, or alongside a gorgeous custom gift tag like this. And almost always wrapped up in an enormous white satin bow.

+More of my favorite kitchen stuff here and more of my favorite organizational tools here.

+More of my favorite recipes here and here.

By: Jen Shoop

I frequently stumble upon a thought or phrase that arrests me only to find it recurring elsewhere, in some other conversation or book or film, a day or two later. It is almost as if a mastermind has meticulously designed a breadcrumb trail of clues leading me to some greater meaning. There is not always a life-changing insight at the other end, but I am nonetheless awestruck by these coincidences and occasionally spooked into thinking The World, in some abstract metonymy for something else, is trying to tell me something. There are myriad theories about epistemology, or the way we come to understand and learn the world around us, and some are kooky and far-fetched to a pragmatist like me. Popular author Elizabeth Gilbert has written fairly extensively along these lines, and her basic philosophy is as follows:

“I’ve come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call “The Physics of The Quest” — a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: “If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself… then truth will not be withheld from you.”

What do you think?

A bit fanciful for my tastes.

I’m more inclined to believe that these coincidences (in Gilbert’s formula, “clues”) are the province of a creative mind, trained to ferret out patterns and imprints that appeal. But occasionally I wonder whether Gilbert isn’t quite as far out as I’d thought, and that unfiltered openness to the phenomena of life and art might reveal to me important truths.

If I sound rather unmoored and abstruse at the moment, let me ground these musings in specificity:

I was listening to my new favorite podcast the other day and one of the hosts mentioned her affinity for “people who live out loud.” I’d never heard that turn of phrase, and I cottoned to it. I immediately thought of Mr. Magpie, whose opinions, tastes, and style preferences feel bold — and underlined, and italicized! — to me. He is 100% himself through and through and through, even when that self is at dramatic odds with ambient culture, trends, and prevailing popular opinion. (In other words, you’d never see him caught dead in skinny jeans and white kitchens are not his cup of tea and don’t get him started on how much he loathes and despises many of the most popular television series out there.) He is delightfully old-fashioned and occasionally contrarian, though even those descriptors fail to capture the degree to which he remains true to himself, as his decision-making and aesthetics appear to be entirely unflummoxed by the swirl of life around him. He is just him. An island of deeply held beliefs whose provenance is untraceable. In other words: he remains a fetching and thrilling mystery to me.

But in his commitment to himself and his own opinions: he lives out loud.

I think the podcaster meant something a bit different when she used the phrase. I think she meant something more along the lines of: “People who color outside the lines, break rules, shake things up.” This is not necessarily Mr. Magpie, who — while opinionated — is also wonderfully courteous, polite, and civil in his interactions with others. He is also fiercely private. Were you to meet him, you might wonder whether I was talking about the same person. He is not one to throw out opinions or “get into it” with a new acquaintance.

At any rate, just a day or two after I’d pocketed the “living out loud” phrase, I was revisiting one of my favorite essays from Mary Oliver’s “Winter Hours,” in which she writes about her own philosophy of life:

“To enjoy, to question — never to assume, or trample….to observe with passion, to think with patience, to live always care-ingly.”

I was struck, and not for the first time, by the fact that I share Oliver’s idylls for a life well and thoughtfully lived — and also by the fact that I would describe that life as one lived quietly, in introspection. Not silently, not mutedly, not hushed, as those words imply some kind of incapacitation or subjugation — but in willed, reverent, thoughtful observance.

And so I found myself musing over the fact that I so easily, so instantly, saw Mr. Magpie as one who lives loudly and myself as one who lives quietly. And yet we are not that different at the end of the day; we share similar values, especially when it comes to the treatment of others and their opinions, and there is a fair amount of synchrony in our tastes and outlooks.

But there it was: something about the decibels at which we live that I mused over for the better part of an afternoon. And I wondered why I see myself at the softer end of the spectrum, and what that means, and whether that matters.

And so we have one of those curious coincidences in which I feel as though I am being escorted through a door jamb and not quite sure where I’m being taken, but things feel more colorful, more nuanced, more intricately shaded than before.

What about you, Magpies? Do you ever have these moments of uncanny confluence?

And, more narrowly, do you see yourself as someone who lives loudly or quietly?

Post-Scripts.

+For those eyeing this chic Ulla sweater dress: get the look for less with this $120 steal!

+This coat is beyond for a little one…

+Another take on quiet and noise.

+I’m intrigued by these acrylic hangers. I’d heard elsewhere that they’re great because they are super slim and clear (and therefore add no bulk and keep the closet looking very clean and tidy) and was contemplating swapping out my hangers for these. But the Amazon reviews are middling! Many point out that they snap easily. Wondering if I should stick with sturdier velvet ones. Any Magpie opinions on the subject?

+Fun mary janes for mini.

+Such a pretty top. (Under $50!)

+More from my beloved Mary Oliver.

+These dolls are absolutely darling.

+Puff sleeve addict over here.

+Things I want to know more about.

+In the market for a long camel coat this fall. I love the look of this one from Sandro.

+Against these fragments I have shored my ruins.

By: Jen Shoop

I’ve had a couple of fellow anticipators reach out to ask for ideas for Christmas gifts and outfits for their little ones. I get it — it’s (shockingly) not so far away, and the holidays require a lot of planning with minis in tow, especially if you want things like stockings and tree skirts (<<these are the exact set I have) personalized! (Though I should not that procrastinators may be able to take advantage of the fact that these cute Old Navy Halloween jammies were just re-stocked! And more last-minute Halloween finds here.)

At any rate, I thought I’d share a few classic gifts for toddlers. I’ll do a separate post on gifts for babies (though they tend to like the wrapping paper more than the gift) and dressing for Christmas (hint: I am definitely ordering Petite Plume holiday jammies for my little ones this year), but below are some fantastic gift ideas for tiny tots. We own or have gifted many of these — and nearly all of them have rave reviews on Amazon to boot. Many of these are more on the “timeless” gift spectrum — well-made, could be gifted in 1990 or 2020 or 2050, etc.

Under-$30 Christmas Gifts for Toddlers.

HAPE MIXER

COROLLE DOLL

ANIMAL FARM PLAYSET

THE NUTCRACKER BOOK

BRISTLE BLOCKS

FISHER-PRICE CASH REGISTER

FAIRY TALE BLOCKS

DRUM

QUEST AND JOURNEY BOOKS*

MR. POTATO HEAD

GREENTOYS TEA SET

NAME PUZZLE

MAILEG MICE

CRAWL-THROUGH TUNNEL

*Thanks to the Magpie reader who suggested these! I actually already had them in her bookshelf, a gift from someone from awhile back, but had assumed they were too advanced. They are WONDERFUL and we read them close to nightly. They have no words and so we change up the narrative most times. I’ve found it so heart-warming to walk into her room and see her “reading” the pages. More children’s books I love that would make excellent additions to a stack of gifts.

Under-$60 Christmas Gifts for Toddlers.

MAGNATILES

BRIO TRAIN SET

DOLL HIGH CHAIR OR DOLL CRIB

BRUDER MACK TRUCK

DUPLOS

FROZEN LITTLE PEOPLE CASTLE

ROLL-UP RAINBOW PIANO

Big Ticket Items for Toddlers.

MICRO SCOOTER

A MECHANICAL HORSE

RADIO FLYER WAGON

OLLI ELLA DOLL PRAM

RIDE-ON TOY (ALSO LOVE THIS CLASSIC)

Stocking Stuffers for Toddlers.

BATH CRAYONS + BATH DROPS (<<MINI HAS BEEN OBSESSED WITH BOTH OF THESE FOR A YEAR)

THIS $5 MVP

DISNEY PRINCESS SHOES

COLORING BOOK

ECO-DOUGH

P.S. A few other holiday items I love for toddlers: a peg doll nativity set (had almost this exact style for mini last year and she played with it daily; it was a great way to introduce the story of Christmas to her); darling gift tags like these or these; a special plate for Santa’s cookies and the reindeer’s carrots; and an advent calendar.

P.P.S. Going from 0-1 children vs. 1-2 and 9 things that surprised me about having a c-section.

P.P.P.S. Fall staples and fall trends.

By: Jen Shoop

I am listening to the most delightful podcast, American Girls, after Bradley Agather of Luella and June introduced it to me in an Instastory a few weeks back. (Thank you, Bradley!) The podcast, narrated by two inquisitive, sardonic, and highly-educated 32-year-old historians, analyzes the American Girl book series, exploring (and problematizing) many of its assumptions about race, gender, and class as it works to understand the American Girl doll as a cultural production of its time.

It is a thing of beauty for those of us raised with the first generation of American Girl dolls, back when they were manufactured by The Pleasant Company (i.e., pre-Mattel years), and for several reasons:

First, there is a pleasant degree of insidership implicit in the podcast in the sense that the series makes reference to personas that only those of us raised in the 80s who owned first-generation AG dolls will immediately grasp. “She is such a Molly,” for example — and I know exactly what that cuneiform is meant to conjure. Those who did not own or appreciate the dolls will rightfully cast sidelong glances at the amount of space these books and dolls are being afforded. “How can you listen to so many hour-long podcasts on dolls from your youth?!” you might sanely ask. Well — nostalgia and, my second point, which is:

The podcast is equal parts stirring scholarship, snark, and common sense. The podcasters nail the perfect balance of sarcasm and intellectual inquisitiveness. At the end of the day, this is a “woke” re-reading of texts that many of us inhaled as young girls and absorbed in ways that shaped our understanding of families, relationships, independence, and responsibility. Their analysis has made me both laugh out loud while walking Tilly and think, hard, about how I unpacked and interpreted many of the cultural norms and themes the books present as a child.

(Note: I would not want to be Valerie Tripp, the author of the original book series. She is putty in their capable, clever hands.)

There is a particularly interesting treatment of the concept of “invisible labor” at the hands of women and enslaved people of color in the books focused on Felicity Merriman, a character from pre-American Revolution era Virginia, that left me thinking critically for some time.

And the exchanges are delightful and dry. In the second podcast on Felicity, Allison says: “One thing that drove us to make this podcast was thinking about how friends are represented in books.” (A gorgeous initiative.)

Mary: “We’re going to get into that. It’s a tough move. If you pull what this chick does in this book to me at any age…we would be done.”

Allison: “There are a lot of themes about loyalty in Felicity that are really interesting because, again, everything is given equal weight in this book — like, will her father be a part of the growing revolution against the king? Will Felicity gossip about her friend? Both things appear equally terrifying in this book.”

Mary: “And will she look good in a brunette wig?”

Allison: “The answer is no.”

Mary: “The answer is a hard no. And I’m happy that they clarified that for us.”

This brand of dry humor paired with thoughtful investigation and historical chops is just my cup of tea and I can’t recommend it enough for those of us raised on AG dolls.

Next: someone please publish a podcast undertaking the same intellectual work on The Babysitter’s Club, that other bastion of my childhood literary canon, from whose chapters I learned much about the various permutations of the “family” (we see adoptions and divorces and sibling relationships of all kinds across those pages) when my own was so straight-forward.

That is all for today. Just an unsolicited plug for something deserving of praise and a request for more.

What’s shaking with you?

Post Scripts.

+Just ordered this narrow (and collapsible!) laundry basket for micro’s petite room. More finds for his nursery here. And an epic nursery here.

+Some musings on academese.

+In my hunt for a basket for his room, I re-discovered this floral laundry set from Target: love this laundry basket and this ironing board cover. It’s the little things, people!

+Speaking of laundry, I’ve now converted most of my household products over to the brand Puracy and am really impressed with the quality and the scents (I am picky on this front). I now use this detergent and one surprising benefit is that it is highly concentrated and one small bottle yields like 96 loads.

+Which books are in your personal canon?

+Micro is rapidly outgrowing his Baby Bjorn Mini, which has been one of my absolute favorite baby products this time around. So easy to get into and out of, and I love that you can unclip the entire front so you can deposit baby right into crib or stroller without too much of a disturbance. What should I use next? Hitha said she is testing the Colugo one as her baby grows. Any other endorsements?

+We recently ran out of hand lotion in our master bath and I re-upped with this delightfully-scented limited edition Molton Brown. But I thought you should know that Barney’s Warehouse currently has a bunch of MB’s wonderful shower gels on sale. Would be a great stocking stuffer / smaller-end gift for a man in your life. Or for yourself. I love that these scents run more “gender-neutral” / less floral and fruity. I have been testing Necessaire’s highly-and-widely hyped Body Wash and — it’s fine. But it’s no MB, which lathers up beautifully and is so elegantly scented.

+Thinking I will order this chic but fanciful shower curtain for micro’s bathroom. It will be a nice complement to the blues in the bedroom. Also like this similar style.

+The art of tsundoku. On this subject: after a disturbingly long hiatus from reading (there was…a lot going on in my life), I finally picked up a new book: Yaa Gyasi’s Homecoming. Several of you had recommended this book and one of you had written a comment along the lines of: “Jen. You must read this book.” The message was pecked out with the kind of urgency I reserve for life-changing books and so I had it mentally tagged as something juicy for whenever I was ready to take on a bit more intellectual work than the latest thriller. Man am I glad I did. Only a bit of the way in and it is rich and important and beautifully written so far.

+This velvet dress is everything. Thanks to Born on Fifth to pointing me in its direction. Pair with these inexpensive black suede sandals for a true high-meets-low mix.

+Have been wearing this headband a lot lately.

+Someone gave Hill a bunch of these Rubbabu cars, trains, and planes and they are adorable! So cute I might line them up on a special ledge in his room!

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: The New Apartment Gear.

I’ve been pouring all of my attention (and money) into outfitting our new apartment, and you can see a full roundup of the highest priority purchases here. I am still lingering over a few items on that list because I want to make sure everything fits appropriately into the spaces we’ve envisioned them for and meets our needs. Per many of the commenters on that post, it’s a good idea to live in an apartment and get to know your needs and wants before running out to buy. (Example: I didn’t know I’d need a chair in Hill’s nursery for some reason…living here without one is very annoying.) Plus, I want to make sure I’ve done thorough research and found pieces we truly love — not just items that “will do” for now. I am going to spend some time more thoroughly seeking out a bookcase for mini’s room, for example. The one from PBK is lovely and straight-forward but I want to make sure I’m not overlooking other beautiful options from smaller stores.

You’re Sooooo Popular: My Favorite Jeans.

The most popular items on the blog this past week:

+My absolute favorite (most flattering) jeans.

+This darling chunky cardigan.

+This refined dog bowl set. (More great dog gear here — and thanks to the Magpie who suggested this durable chew-toy, which is now in Tilly’s paws.)

+My new favorite brand for household cleaning/soap/etc.

+A precious keepsake I had engraved with mini’s initials and birth date.

+Chic dog bed.

+My favorite shampoo and conditioner.

#Turbothot: Adventure/Misadventure.

On Wednesday, I traipsed down to pick mini up from school in a monsoon. I had not dressed for the occasion and had not prepared mini for it, either — I’d left her rainboots and the rain cover to her stroller at home in my haste. By the time I got to her school, I was shivering and sopping wet and a blister had started to form on my heel from the sticky wetness of New York City rain and grime that was invading my shoe.

Mini was delighted by the inclement weather, but as we walked over a slick sidewalk grate, she slipped and soaked her pants. And then the rain didn’t feel quite as magical as I hugged her and smoothed down her hair in the downpour.

I made a game-time decision to jump in a cab and — mercifully! — found one within a block or so.

“Good choice,” I told myself as the rain came down in sheets. I shuddered thinking about descending to the subway on those slippery rainy steps, with a drenched stroller over my shoulder and a curious, occasionally idling, toddler at my side.

But then we sat in traffic. I kept refreshing the Google Maps app, which continued to say — despite the passage of time — that the ride home was an estimated 28 minutes. Now, 28 minutes is a lot of time for a cab uptown, but it usually takes us about 30 minutes to get home via the subway, so I reasoned — eh. But as ten, then fifteen, then twenty minutes passed and the app continued to say we were “28 minutes away” and we’d only gone two avenues over and a handful of city blocks north, I started to get cagey. Mini had eaten all her snacks and was claiming she was still hungry and I felt an imaginary countdown start above her head — how long until she’d need to use the toilet?

I made another game-time decision to ask to get out of the cab and walk to the subway after all. The rain had let up and I calculated that we’d be about a twenty minute schlep from home versus the indeterminate amount of time we’d be stalled in traffic on 10th Avenue.

But then it was difficult for the cabbie to navigate to Penn Station — the closest subway stop at that point — and so I just said, “Let us out! We’ll walk!” $30 and virtually no progress later, I unfolded the stroller and walked through the drizzle to Penn Station.

Penn Station is what I imagine hell to look like. It is dirty, crowded, and usually surrounded by unsavory characters. On this particular approach, we were solicited by a shady man shilling some kind of religious paraphernalia and then boxed out by two bros using the most profane language I’ve heard in a long time. And it’s also kind of impossible to find your way around that area because there are about 3498 entrances to the station — and a lot of steps. But I grit my teeth and carried mini down two flights of stairs into the bowels of hell, through the subway turnstiles (and there was no attendant to flag us through the service entry, so I had to collapse the stroller, kick it across the wet floor under the turnstile, and then lug mini and our miscellaneous bags through), and then walked what felt like a city mile and yet another flight of stairs to get to the proper platform. And then the train was horribly delayed.

TL;DR: I left my apartment at 2:35 so I’d be early for her 3:10 dismissal. I got home at 4:45. It took me two entire hours to pick her up from school.

I was…

Not happy.

And there was a brief moment when I was carrying mini back up a set of stairs to get to the platform when I almost burst into tears as flocks of people tore down the stairs, knocking into me.

But.

I didn’t. For three reasons.

  1. The New Yorker in me pushed back and stood her ground.
  2. Mini needs to see the best in me.
  3. Most importantly: mini was having a blast.

While I was groaning at the traffic in the cab, she was pointing out all the colors of the trucks and cars around us, and noting the raindrops splattered across the moon roof of the taxi.

“That’s a moon roof,” I’d told her.

Five minutes later: “But I don’t see the moon, mama.”

As I had been refreshing the app and rolling my eyes, she had been quietly interrogating her surroundings, attempting to reconcile the words “moon” and “roof” despite seeing neither in front of her.

While I was heaving sighs as we walked towards Penn Station, I heard her sweet little voice:

“This old man, he played two, he played knick-knack on my shoe!…”

When I was huffing and puffing up the stairs to the train:

“One, two, freeeee, four, five, six — ” her little voice counting each step. And when we reached the top: “We did it!!!!” in a sing-song voice of achievement.

I am humbled by her.

At one point, mid-trip, I had the wherewithal to say:

“What an adventure, huh?”

And it was almost more for myself than for her. Because I wonder at what point in my life I went from being able to marvel at raindrops to scowling at the misfortune of a botched commute. Of course, we can’t be Pollyanna all the time, and sometimes we need to just get somewhere, and any mom knows that it’s risky to tamper with post-school play/dinner/bath/bed routines, and Penn Station is my least favorite place on earth — but this excursion was a good reminder of the fine line between finding ourselves in adventure versus misadventure, and the role that a positive outlook can play. Following my daughter’s lead, I’m going to be aiming for the former from now on.

Post-Scripts: Olive Kitteridge Sequel.

+A sequel to Olive Kitteridge just came out!

+Love this blouse in both colorways — the white is reminiscent of the Doen blouse I just wrote about!

+You know I can’t say no to a bow — in hot pink no less.

+Cute flannel pinafore.

+Such a good price for a cookbook stand that looks so elegant!

+Into the look of a dining chair like this, but concerned about its practicality in our child-filled home.

+A really good price on the chic-est Oscar earrings.

+These slippers!!!

+Such a fun top.

By: Jen Shoop

I was at the OBGYN for my annual checkup earlier this week and I have to admit that seeing all of the pregnant women in the waiting room left me very relieved I’m on the other end of things. That last trimester — especially the two weeks leading up to my due date — was brutal. (To all mamas-to-be sitting in that boat: I see you and I feel you and I’m not going to tell you it will be over in a flash, which is not especially what I wanted to hear when every day moved like molasses. I’m simply going to tell you that it’s really hard and that you’re a tough cookie.) I kept wanting to extend knowing smiles to those women but realized I might seem creepy, as they would have no idea how recently I had been in their shoes!

At any rate — at one point, an expecting mother came waddling through the door, huffing and puffing, and then eased herself into a chair. Her mother was at her heels and went to check her daughter in at the reception desk and then returned to her daughter’s side. I could tell the pregnant daughter was in pain or discomfort — possibly contractions? — because her face bore something like determination and grit and she kept staring intensely at the floor as her mother attempted to distract her with casual conversation. Something about what to order for lunch, and how many people would be at Thanksgiving, and whether she’d gotten back to Brad yet on the plans for next weekend? All the while, the daughter was offering one-word answers, grimacing. And the mother was prattling away but I could read the solicitude all over her face as she wordlessly and without prompt helped her daughter out of her coat, mid-sentence, almost reflexively, as if she were divesting her own coat. And then she would pat her daughter’s knee from time to time, and I’d read the anxiety on her face in a flash, and then she’d pause and search for new, light topic to broach. Nail color, at one point.

A few minutes into their wait, the daughter stood up quickly — “I have to throw up!” — she whispered and walked down the hall. Her mother jumped up and looked around helplessly, taking a step forward as if to follow her daughter, and then pausing.

“I’ll watch your coats and bags –” offered the receptionist.

“Oh. I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about my daughter.” And then she fled down the hall after her.

There was something about this entire exchange that moved me — especially the mother’s earnest attempts to distract and calm her daughter despite the fact that both were very clearly on edge.

What startled me was that I related to both of the figures in this exchange, remembering in an instant when my mother stood at my bedside before I walked into the OR for my epidural before mini was born, and I was sobbing, and she took my hand in hers and cocked her head and said: “Now Jennifer. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Let’s meet this little girl!” And then she proceeded to make a light-hearted comment about the nurse’s hair and smooth down my sheet and distract me with other little nothings. How I needed her to do that! And how good my mother is at conjuring conversation in the face of adversity, when I am more likely to just stare in overwhelmed silence, chin wobbling, anxiety swelling.

But how often I, too, smooth things over by way of distraction with mini nowadays. I can see a meltdown brewing five minutes before it hits. And so I sing a song with strange bravado that leaves her doubled over in laughter or suggest she help me fold the laundry (!!! didn’t you know it is SO exciting?!) or pull out the duplos and start to build something. And when we’re mid-tantrum, and all of my other ploys (namely, ignoring her) have failed, how I will engage in silly slapstick humor to stop her in her tracks, occasionally imperiling my own wellbeing by, say, walking into a wall or “bumping” my head.

There is something peculiarly heart-warming to me about a mother distracting her child. Turning her toddler’s head away from an incoming vaccine. Jiggling her baby on her hip or finding his favorite toy when he is sleepy or hungry or teething. Quieting her grown daughter’s nerves when she is facing the tremendous unknown of labor, delivery, and parenthood writ large. It is almost like saying: “Here, let me look that scary thing in the face for you while I divert your attention over here.” Put differently: “Let me bear this burden for you. Let me walk this mile with you, or for you, or in some way lighten the load for you.”

There are many venues in this life where distraction is a bad thing. No one wants to engage in conversation with a distracted friend. Mr. Magpie and I scold one another when we are using more than one screen at a time — because how are we possibly engaging in any material fashion with one medium when we are half-distracted by a second? (Or third?) I hate when I am preoccupied as a parent, too — puzzling over dinner plans or lost in my own thoughts and to-dos and I suddenly realize I have been mindlessly chatting with mini, who is attempting to communicate something to me with a measure of toddler urgency. “No mama, the CHAIR! THE CHAIR!” And I’ll snap out of it and realize that the chair she is sitting in is off-kilter, one leg up on a stack of books and about to topple over.

And, more generally, it not uncommon that I need to stop and look at something head-on rather than dart around it, avoiding eye contact.

In so many of those instances, distraction is unwelcome, unwholesome, abrasive to the more important fibers of life and wellbeing.

But in this other realm — the realm of parenting from the heart — it is a gesture of love, a generous bulwark against threats large and small, both balm and aegis, offered humbly and without fanfare.

And mom, in case I forgot to tell you, thank you for the gift of small distractions.

Post-Scripts.

+Another moving vignette of a mother and daughter.

+More on my angel mother.

+Love Pam Munson’s latest collection — especially this pearl-clasped clutch (duh) and this gorgeous navy tote. (More on the lovely Pam here!)

+Ordering a bunch of these for my new dresser. (More of our new furniture picks here!)

+Such a chic shoulder bag! I love it in the classic saddle brown color. One of my girlfriends has the Hermes Evelyne messenger bag and this nails that look for less.

+Obsessed with these table linens.

+Cute Christmas jammies for a skiing family.

+Love this upholstered bench!

+NYE plans?! Check this out!!!

+Fun dress for fall.

+Into this tweed jacket.

+This sweater is v v v on trend.

+Swooning over this romper for a baby girl.

+An aubade to parenting.

+Ordered this vest for mini.

By: Jen Shoop

Some items on my radar right now:

ROTATE DRESS (SEEN ABOVE)

A LINER COAT (HAVE SEEN A BUNCH OF WOMEN WEARING THESE AROUND NY; LOVE THIS IN THE OCHRE COLOR, BUT ALSO LOVE THIS OLIVE ONE FROM GAP)

THIS TARTAN DRESS

A CHUNKY STATEMENT KNIT

THE NEW LEE RADZIWILL DOUBLE TOTE (HEART EYES)

THIS GANNI-ESQUE SWEATER ($80!)

THESE SLOUCHY BOOTS

…TO WEAR WITH THIS FLOATY DRESS

PLAID DRESS FOR MINI

CELINE DUPES

SHEARLING MULES

CABLE KNIT FOR MICRO

FLOW WATER (I’M OBSESSED WITH THIS – ESPECIALLY THE CUCUMBER FLAVOR)

FIRE TRUCK SHEETS FOR MICRO’S NEW CRIB

P.S. Quiet // noise.

P.P.S. Epistolarity.

P.P.P.S. In need of beauty products that multi-task nowadays.

By: Jen Shoop

I have been eyeing this Doen blouse for weeks, ever since spotting it on Arielle Charnas (above) and Joanna Hillman (below). I dress like neither of these chic peas yet find their sartorial sense inspiring — and, sometimes, am startled to find a piece they are wearing that I.must.own. The Doen blouse was one such piece, and yet it sold out in my size immediately and, though it has been restocked in other sizes, has not yet come back. I was therefore thrilled to find this similar blouse for less! I envision wearing it with a pretty headband and light-wash denim.

Also swooning over this similar lace blouse, this bow-shouldered blouse, and this frilled turtleneck.

P.S. Another look I copycatted.

P.P.S. September’s most popular items and investments that are worth it.

By: Jen Shoop

Q: We are going to a black tie wedding on New Year’s Eve. I’m struggling to balance “wedding guest” with “full blown floor length sequins.” What is appropriate? Is red OK? Black? HELP!

A: You can absolutely wear color to a black tie wedding — my rule of thumb is just to wear something floor-length and evening-appropriate. A few of my favorite finds:

THIS ETHEREAL NEEDLE & THREAD (ON SALE!)

THIS SALONI (SPLURGE BUT SO GORGEOUS)

THIS FAME & PARTNERS

THIS ALICE MCCALL (ON SERIOUS SALE)

THIS FIRE ENGINE RED JUMPSUIT (WHICH CAN WORK BECAUSE IT IS VERY FORMAL!)

Q: Any chance you have a place with your favorite maternity clothes together? It’s my second and all my work clothes from the first time around don’t work chasing after my active 2.5 year old daughter. Now I need to start from scratch.

A: I should write a post on this specific topic, as I’m realizing that all my maternity finds have been sprinkled through a lot of posts (although I did outline my favorite maternity products in general here). My absolute must-haves:

J BRAND MAMA J JEANS (I OWNED THESE IN THREE COLORS)

DAVID LERNER MATERNITY LEGGINGS (THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST)

COTTON OLD NAVY BODYCON DRESSES IN BLACK (<<I WORE A VARIATION ON THIS SO MUCH THAT MY SISTER SUGGESTED WE BURN IT TOGETHER AFTER THE BABY CAME)

GAP MATERNITY TEES

INGRID & ISABEL MATERNITY TEES

MONROW MATERNITY DRESSES

SPANX FAUX LEATHER LEGGINGS (GAVE ME A MUCH-NEEDED FEELING OF COOLNESS/EDGE WHEN I FELT FRUMPY)

ASOS DENIM OVERSIZED SHIRT/DRESS THINGS (I WORE THIS ONE IN BLUE DENIM A LOT WITH LEGGINGS UNDERNEATH)

TUNIC TOPS FROM GAP OR INGRID & ISABEL

COSABELLA MATERNITY PAJAMAS (I BOUGHT THESE IN TWO COLORWAYS — THESE ARE ABSOLUTELY THE MOST COMFORTABLE THING FOR A PREGNANT WOMAN AND 100% WORTH THE PRICE)

My strategy was to buy a couple of high-quality pairs of jeans and leggings, black bodycon dresses, and then fairly inexpensive tops as a solid base, add a cardigan (which would work post-pregnancy) over top if necessary, and then jazz things up with fun accessories that fit no matter what. I always suggest buying a pair or two of shoes you absolutely love — maybe a new or gently used pair of Chanel ballet flats or some elegant boots? — and a couple of on-trend accessories, like a Lele Sadoughi headband, some fun earrings, or a bag you’ve been eyeing forever. They made me so happy when I was bored of wearing the same thing over and over again.

P.S. If you do need a pick-me-up towards the middle or end of your pregnancy, I always found fun and relatively affordable finds at ASOS. I like this dress with my Golden Goose sneakers and this dress with my Valentino rockstud flats. Or, this Ganni dress, which could be worn after pregnancy!

P.P.S. A great maternity-friendly dress for an evening affair.

Q: I would love if you could recommend some outfit ideas for our upcoming engagement shoot in Central Park and around the Upper East Side in October.  I can’t decide if I should do a flowy dress for some “movement” in the pictures or go more classic with a sweater, jeans, and booties.  I tend to wear more dresses in my day-to-day life, but all the dresses I have found so far don’t have sleeves, which would look a bit silly in fall pictures.  I seem to be at a loss!  Any recommendations you had would be extremely helpful!  

A: Hi! I’m hoping I get back to you just under the wire (I’ve been sitting on a lot of Magpie Mail inquiries for weeks now). I would say go with a dress! I always feel my best when I’m dressing how I like / how I feel prettiest — which, for me, is also a dress. I would look at Ulla Johnson’s fall collection. So many standout dresses in a great fall-appropriate palette, and many with sleeves that would also work with boots! They are splurge-y but I can imagine wearing them for many seasons. I love this, this, and especially this. You can get the look for less with this $118 find, which totally nails the floral Ulla vibe.

I also like this Free People dress with heeled booties and a bouncy blowout, one of the Ganni mesh dresses (I owned one in a leopard print that worked with my bump last winter!), or basically any dress from the Doen fall collection.

All of these would look fantastic with these slouchy boots!

Q: Did you use a night nurse? How did you find her?

A: No, we did not use a night nurse for either baby. It is definitely a cultural norm with my friends here in Manhattan to hire one, though — I actually can only think of one other girlfriend (Inslee!) who chose not to work with one!

With mini, it simply never crossed my mind. My mother did not use a night nurse, my sister did not use a night nurse, very few of my friends in D.C. and Chicago had used night nurses, and so I marched right into things with nary a second thought. With micro, I suppose I had a chip on my shoulder about it — “I did just fine with mini, I’ll do it on my own again!” — and despite some serious exhaustion, we’ve survived just fine.

I should note that I am in support of any decision that helps a mother feel most empowered. For many of my friends, that means a night nurse. (And I can imagine that first-time moms would take extreme comfort in the support of a night nurse who might show them the ropes and assuage their concerns about every hiccup and squirm!)

Personally, I have found comfort and confidence in being the only one who attends to the baby at night. I don’t know why — but it has helped me really get into my groove and trust my instincts. Mr. Magpie is also fiercely private and acts extremely awkward (sorry, but it’s true) when we have anyone else in the house — for example, the few times he’s been home when we are having our house cleaned or something repaired, he is fidgety with discomfort. He feels he can’t be himself!

Q: I’d be curious to know how you selected your children’s godparents. Something I’ve been contemplating lately…

A: It was a no-brainer for me — my siblings! (Both of my children have sisters and brothers-in-law as godparents.) But if I weren’t blessed with so many siblings, I would probably have thought about it in these ways: a) sift through my closest friends and figure out who is a practicing Catholic — a pre-requisite at least in the Catholic church, and b) think about which of my friends feel most closely aligned with me on matters pertaining to spirituality and parenting. I’m sorry this is horribly vague, but it’s hard for me to imagine a life without my siblings…!

Q: How do you store your baby clothes? Looking for good storage options.

A: For clothes that are too small/need to be put away, I use Ziploc vac pacs because they are the easiest way to keep clothes compressed and then stowed at the top of our closets (we are in tight quarters). I would imagine these would be great even if you have space to store overflow clothes in a garage or attic — though I should note that these are not foolproof. I find that they do lose their suction with time. But! They get the job done.

For clothes that currently fit (or will fit soon), I like to use these inexpensive fabric cubes from Target in the sand color. I line them up around the top of my closet(s). They’re brilliant because they collapse flat, so you can always keep a few spare, and I think they look pretty slick/tidy all lined up. They also weigh next to nothing so that makes it easy to get the bins down.

Q:  I am in my early 20s and started a new job in June, working in a corporate setting for the first time. I’m looking for a coat that I can wear this winter, both to work and out to fancier social events as well. The caveat – I’m allergic to wool (or technically, the oils that are found in most sheep wool). Up to this point I’ve just sucked it up and wore my down parka to any dressier winter events but I just can’t face doing that anymore! I’m just looking for a coat that is fashionable and polished. I love your style and would love to hear if you have any suggestions! 

A: Ooh, this is a tough one. Teddy coats are very in this season and could be a good fit for you — this one is so, so chic! Something like this quilted, belted topper would be elegant and versatile, though perhaps not the warmest of the bunch (depends on where you live!), and, finally Heartloom has a bunch of non-wool coats that are very chic, like this plaid style, which I adore!

Q: What are your picks for toddler rain gear?

A: Love this question and have dedicated nontrivial amounts of time to finding the best picks — shared a bunch of them here!

Q: I love the way you dress your kids, but am finding it’s hard to get that traditional style for my older children. Where would you shop?

A: I can imagine the challenge here — both in terms of supply and demand! I’m guessing your kiddos are not as into peter pan collars and want sparkly everything, and most retailers are not serving up traditional pieces at that age. I would also look at Nantucket Kids (love this jumper, this gingham dress, and their rollneck sweaters), Janie & Jack (a dress like this would be sweet), CPC Kids (mini owns several of their dresses and they’d work on older ones as well!) Boden (a kilt with a cable knit sweater!), Jacadi (love this), and Busy Bees Kids (mini owns a few of their blouses).

I would also lean hard into Polo. How cute are dresses like this and this? I also like the look of a traditional sweater like this or this with jeans in the winter, and then a polo shirt and shorts in the summer. For shoes: Supergas, which can be worn with dresses or pants alike, and Mary Janes.

Hoping your kiddo is not too old for a bow!

Q: I was hoping you could help me with something I’ve wondered for a while – what is a good gift to get for dear friends who are new mamas (not baby things, something for them!). Ideally would like to spend under $50. I’ve thought about gift cards to massages/nails etc but I worry about getting a gift card that will never be used and it feels so impersonal. I’m currently expecting my first and so I have no idea what would make a new moms happy! 

A: I know you said a gift card feels impersonal, but I received and have since gifted several other new moms gift cards to DryBar or a favorite manicure spot for a quick one hour of self-care. The hair in particular — what a joy to sit there while someone else grooms you! Especially in those early days where I never had time to blow-dry it myself…

Other things I would have loved to receive:

A PRETTY ROBE

A BASKET OF MY FAVORITE SNACKS (I LOVE GUMMY CANDIES)

A WATER BOTTLE (A FRIEND GAVE ME ONE OF THESE AND IT WAS SUCH A GOOD REMINDER TO HYDRATE…PLUS, SPORTS NOZZLE IS EASY TO DRINK WITH ONE HAND AND WON’T SPILL IF TIPPED)

A FUN NEW ACCESSORY THAT FITS EVEN WHEN IT FEELS LIKE YOU’LL NEVER GET BACK TO YOUR PRE-PREGNANCY SHAPE

A LUXE HAND CREAM

P.S. More Magpie Mail.

P.P.S. These comments were such a joy to read.

P.P.S. Do you negotiate?

By: Jen Shoop

Awhile ago I wrote that a book club proved to be the best way for me to meet new girlfriends when I moved to Chicago, a city in which I knew very few. (And speaking of book clubs: mine is in a state of delinquency. I will reinstate it soon. I feel as though the clouds are parting and life is falling into something of a rhythm now that the move is behind is and micro is sleeping stretches of 5-6 hours more consistently — even if that rhythm is dramatically syncopated.) I absolutely adored hosting book club because it gave me an excuse to entertain, something I have always enjoyed and something I have done since my college years, when I was wont to host formal dinner parties when we’d return home for the summer (complete with place cards and formal wear). In our 20s, Mr. Magpie and I put on countless holiday parties, costume parties, just-because parties (I believe we hosted a party for midsummers, a few Olympics parties, and even a Jersey Shore party back in the heyday of that program. There was a lot of self-tanner involved.) Nowadays, entertaining happens a lot less frequently, though I have promptly and with no small measure of delight realized that my new, larger kitchen and my new, larger living space have restored to me a desire to cook and entertain and have people over. So much so that I have already undertaken a baking project in our new home — something I rarely did in our former apartment because my stand mixer was stowed in a cabinet behind miscellaneous other items and there wasn’t much counter space to boot. In other words: baking was a logistical strain. No longer! One of the cool things about our apartment is that it has a long “L” shaped kitchen, with one “leg” flanked by a huge wall of built-in cabinets and a super-long countertop that Mr. Magpie and I have endeavored to keep entirely free of clutter to accommodate our love of cooking.

And so I envision a lot of entertaining in this apartment, beginning with hosting Mr. Magpie’s parents for Thanksgiving, which is incidentally not very far away. I overheard Mr. Magpie debating what size of turkey to get with his father and I thought — “That’s hilarious. We have months until Thanksgiving, and they’re thinking about — oh wait. It’s in about a month.”

At any rate.

Even before Thanksgiving, I am hoping to have a couple of gals’ nights at my home with some of my good girlfriends — one of my absolute favorite ways to fritter away a cold Tuesday or a rainy Thursday evening. Below, because my post on weeknight meals enjoyed such warm reception, I thought I’d share a couple of my favorite appetizer/snack spread recipes (I have so many more, but this is a start) for a night in with girlfriends, which I usually accompany with my favorite sparkles (I love Raventos i Blanc cava) or red (very into Chono carmenere at the moment — inexpensive and so velvety!), but sometimes, I’m in the mood for gin. My go-to drink is a Tom Collins with Hendricks gin.

EASY

+Prosciutto wrapped around the end of grissini and artfully displayed on a platter either spun out like spokes on a wheel or laid tidily in a row, so the grissini ends hang off the edge of the plate. Our Italian friends had us over for dinner back in Chicago and they started the meal with these and some fresh, thick wedges of mozzarella — and an aperol spritz garnished with an orange wheel and a castelvetrano olive! I’ve never seen something so elegant but easy.

+Mini toasts (these feel vaguely out of vogue and like something from 1962?) topped with a wedge of manchego and a slick of fig spread.

+Dry chorizo cut on the diagonal into oblong coins and then toasted quickly in a hot cast iron skillet, just so a little of the fat renders. Then slice a baguette and toast the pieces in the fat from the chorizo. Serve with a favorite hard cheese. Those slabs of bread dipped in chorizo juice — OUTRAGEOUSLY GOOD.

+Mini sandwiches. I don’t know why, but these always go over so well when I am hosting. I like to do comfort food — mini BLTs, or peanut butter and banana sandwiches cut into little strips but then I toast the bread in butter on the stovetop and coat them in cinnamon sugar (yum). Or sometimes I’ll duck out to a good BBQ spot and buy maybe a half pound of pulled pork and put it on mini Hawaiian rolls with a pickle chip on the top. For some reason, people tend to love this as a snack. Fun finger food!

+Ranch crackers. These are delightfully kitschy — something straight out of a 1960s cocktail party. They are addictive. Written in my grandmother’s loopy script: Mix 1 cup veg or canola oil with 1 tsp dill, ½ tsp garlic powder, and 1 pkg Ranch dressing mix.  Stir with two 12-oz boxes oyster crackers. I usually amp up the dill and garlic — “oops! an extra 1/4 tsp fell in!” — to great effect. I like to serve this up in pretty silver bowls on every occasional table and especially by the wine station, where people are inclined to grab a little handful along with a fresh pour.

+Good-quality kielbasi (this was so easy to come by in Chicago — haven’t seen it as much in NY) cut into coins, toasted up in a skillet, and served with spicy mustard. I like to pierce the sausage coins with toothpicks in advance to make it easier to serve.

MEDIUM

+Spiced shrimp (detailed the recipe here) with homemade cocktail sauce. Not hard, but make-ahead and keep chilled in the fridge.

+Spiced cocktail nuts. I actually find Giada’s recipes to be generally horrible, but this one is excellent. You can again make these ahead so they’re ready to go day-of.

+Homemade hummus with various chips and vegetables. I like to throw a lot of fresh herbs into the food processor when I’m making hummus, whatever I have on hand (I like dill, parsley, cilantro, or a blend of them all). My go-to hummus recipe: 1 can chickpeas, drained (reserve liquid!); salt; a minced garlic clove; scoop tahini (1/4 cup?); couple tablespoons lemon juice; splash of reserved chickpea juice. Place everything in food processor and add a healthy glug of olive oil and whatever herbs you have on hand. Blend. Add more oil or reserved liquid to loosen/make more creamy.

INVOLVED

+For larger parties — especially ones around the holidays — Mr. Magpie and I often buy a spiral ham which we then reheat in a low oven for several hours with an orange/brown sugar glaze. That’s the easy part, though — the more involved part is making homemade biscuits. We’ve tried probably a dozen recipes in pursuit of a good one and I need to get Mr. Magpie to write a post about his most recent achievement in this category, because that damn biscuit had me dreaming and drooling for weeks. (I WILL get him to start a recipe column here — he has so many incredible recipes he’s ginned up over the past many years of tinkering in the kitchen.) Biscuits aren’t exactly hard to make — in fact, you can destroy them by overmixing them — but they do require time and advanced planning. Anyhow, we serve the ham on top of delicious buttery biscuits and they always bring the house down. At any rate, were I left to my own devices, I’d use the recipe in Garden & Gun’s cookbook. They know a thing or two about Southern cooking.

+Onion pissaladiere. This is so, so good. Essentially a pizza/foccacia/flatbread kind of thing topped with sauteed onions and garlic. Oh, it is good. I cut it into squares and serve the whole thing on a rustic-style wood cheeseboard.

+Chrissy Tiegen’s chorizo-and-jalapeno flecked queso. As with all good quesos, this starts with Velveeta. Enough said. Word to the wise: this makes use of a LOT of jalapenos and you might want to buy those disposable plastic gloves. I burned the hell out of my hands making these — they were actually throbbing for hours and hours.

+Pretzel bites. Alton Brown’s recipe for homemade pretzels is foolproof and excellent. Sometimes I make these to accompany an “Octoberfest” celebration with various kinds of German sausage and sauerkraut and the like — but I also like to make them when I’m having girlfriends over for wine night because who doesn’t love a salty carb?! I serve it with a few kinds of mustard. (This is also a great contribution to a football gathering / Super Bowl party.)

A few other things I like when entertaining the gals:

+Festive cocktail napkins.

+Short drinking glasses for enjoying wine, Spanish style. (This is how they served wine in Barcelona and San Sebastian, and we totally co-opted it.) We call them “stubs” around this house (how inelegant…), but there is another benefit to them: they tend to be much harder to spill than a stemmed glass. I incidentally love drinking wine out of these exact juice glasses.

+Mauviel wine bucket. We received this beautiful, splurge-y item for our wedding and have gotten incredible use out of it. It’s so pretty, too.

+As seen at top: I have made such good use of our canning jars over time. Mr. Magpie likes them to store things like bacon grease and pickled beets and bread starter and strange concoctions he’s working on, but I use them for serving as well. They’re a great, rustic solution for presenting pretty gold cutlery.

+White serving platters. With time, I have learned that simple white serving platters are the best way to go. They present/showcase food so well and are incredibly versatile. I like things like this with the interesting beading along the lip, though I have a couple of very inexpensive white rectangular platters from Pier 1 that get heaviest use. The shape makes them easy to plate food elegantly because you can line things up in rows/tidily. I also get a lot of use out of an olive boat we have, though I repurpose it for myriad things — it’s a great shape for mounding up sliced sausage or chunks of cheese alongside a heap of olives, for example.

+Appetizer plates. Arguably the most-used dishes in our home. I am using these constantly, and for hundreds of reasons — a little afternoon snack for myself, a plate for butter to go with our bread at dinner, a makeshift spoon-rest, and — especially — for hosting my girlfriends. This is a great gift for a friend who enjoys entertaining!

+Dip bowls. Another great Pier 1 find. I am also using these constantly — they’re just the right size for a nice scoop of cocktail sauce or mustard or a little pinch bowl of nuts by the bar. Bonus: very inexpensive.

+Condiment server. I actually use this a lot more frequently to serve up little nibbles. I especially like to use this to bring out some sweet treats for “dessert” — I’ll put chocolate covered pretzels in one, yogurt covered raisins in another, and maybe some swedish fish in the third. Alternately, have also used this to plate vegetables to dip into french onion dip, i.e., one is filled with carrots spears, another with pepper strips, and the last with cucumber wedges. When I’m only hosting a friend for wine (i.e., no intensive appetizers), I’ll fill this with salty things like they do in fancy hotel bars — maybe one will have truffle potato chips, another will have marcona almonds, and the last will have cheezits, or something along those lines.

+Stainless steel serving bowls. I also have two bowls similar to these that I love — they simply make everything look classy. A bowl of popcorn dressed up in truffle oil or coated in some fresh parmesan and thyme (or just poured out of a bag!) looks fancy as hell — even though it only took a few minutes to put together.

+Trader Joe’s treats. When I am really short on time — or when I want to do something more involved and keep the rest low-key — I like to supplement with Trader Joe’s finds. I especially like their pastry pups (basically, pigs in a blanket). I brush mine with egg wash and top with their “Everything Bagel Seasoning,” which — you must try if you haven’t; I love putting it on scrambled eggs or mixing it into chicken salad. You can make these look very presentable if you line them up on one of those rectangular platters and flank with little silver condiment bowls of mustard and ketchup. I also like their “Bird’s Nests” (basically taste like onion rings, but are little mounds of veggies that you dip into a soy sauce dipping sauce), their egg rolls (surprisingly good — lots of fresh ginger in there), and their gyoza, although their instructions on the back are wonky and, if prepared as instructed, you will end up with lots of broken gyoza. I prefer to steam and then pan fry at the end.

P.S. 10 things you need in your kitchen, fall wardrobe musts you need to know about, and then great gifts for your girlfriends.

P.P.S. Our absolute favorite, most dog-eared and oil-splattered cookbooks.

P.P.P.S. On the heel’s of yesterday’s post about our apartment purchases: I have been attempting to figure out how we might be able to fit seating of some kind into micro’s tiny nursery. I had thought it wouldn’t matter but as I am still waking once a night to feed him (doctor says I can drop this feed but we’ve just in the past few weeks transitioned from two or three wake-ups a night to one, and…we’ll get there) and would like to have a place to read him a bedtime story/say prayers in the evening, I would like to make this work. (Right now, I bring him into our bedroom, which is at the other end of the apartment, and then carry him back to bed for his nighttime feed, which is not ideal. Otherwise, I place a mound of blankets on the floor and feed him there. Which is less than ideal as well.) At any rate, I’m on the hunt for the most petite armchair known to woman, and preferably not something too precious, as mini’s glider is already showing its wear and tear two years in. Considering this? Look how small! 23″ wide! Amazing.

By: Jen Shoop

Though there is something unsettling about living amongst boxes, we are, in fact, settling into our new apartment. It feels as though the squiggly, unpaved path of the past few months has unfurled into a smooth road. Now, as always after a rough patch, I sit back and think: “Why was I so knotted up? It always works out in the end…”

I thought I’d share a couple of things we are planning to purchase for the apartment, though I should note that Mr. Magpie’s caution about purchasing anything prior to arrival was well-advised, as several of the items I’d been seriously eyeing would have proven frivolous in the face of more important purchases we had not even fathomed.

For example: our new dining room is far larger than our previous one and the lovely drop-leaf from Room&Board that fit so perfectly into the petite dimensions of our old apartment would look absolutely absurd in it. We need a larger table and new dining chairs — something I’d simply not considered because, after all, we own a dining table that is perfectly suitable! (No worries, though — we will push the drop-leaf up against a wall and use it as an occasional table, styled with books and artwork. I’ve seen friends — ahem, Alison — do this to chic effect.)

But Mr. Magpie and I are going to spend some time considering that purchase. There are so many directions we could go. I’m mildly considering more of a modern look there (though I tend toward the traditional) with perhaps a parson’s dining table and upholstered armchair-style dining chairs. But — ah. With small children, upholstered anything is a death wish. I have been especially inspired by the dining rooms designed by Amy Berry (seen above and below — I would die to one day work with her; she is my dream interior designer!). I like the way she mixes materials and even styles in her dining rooms, and am encouraged to try something a little more avant garde in a similar vein rather than purchasing a matching dining table and chair set.

Sammis Residence_for June 2017 Photographer: Sanchez, Manuel Hector Editor: Gowen, Zoe Art Director(s): Perino, Bob Photo Editor: Clayton, Jeanne

So, that will be a slow burn as Mr. Magpie and I tend to like to take our time to make big investments like that. And, in the meantime, we’ll just look like shrunken fools in that cavernous dining room hunched around our itty bitty dining table. But it works, for now.

Things that are higher on the tick-list:

+A second leaning bookcase to flank the TV in our living room. We had one in our old apartment and I simply love this affordable bookshelf — it is bright and modern-looking but does not block out any light. It also, at a glance, has the general appearance of maybe being built-in? I love it. Mr. Magpie went through the trouble of having his massive TV mounted to the wall and all the cords covered, and we also purchased a new set of sconces (<<now on sale!) for the wall, so — this will really tie everything together. (P.S. — the TV floats above this media console in the white, which we love!)

+A dog bed for Tilly. I shared a few options we were considering on this front here, and I ended up falling hard for that gingham Orvis style, especially since — as noted — Tilly loves to be “comfy-cozy” and curl up against a couch.

+A sleek trash can. In our home in Chicago, we had one of those drawers that pulls out to disguise our trash and recycling and — is this strange? — when I discovered our house had that amenity, I was bizarrely excited. I have no idea — but it marked something distinctive in my evolution into adulthood. We have not enjoyed that feature since, but this stylish trash can is a lot less of an eyesore than the majority I’ve seen out there.

+A proper bookcase for mini’s room. Because mini’s previous nursery was so small, we couldn’t have fit a full bookcase inside in addition to her glider, her dresser, and her crib. Instead, we made do with small bins of books. I am THRILLED to be able to unload all of those into a formal bookshelf and to repurpose the bins for toys.

+S&L dresser. (P.S. — today is the last day to score 20% off your purchase!) I am 90% sure we will order this but we did have a bit of a debate because our new bedroom has a walk-in closet with a ton of built-in shelving — and it goes all the way up to the high ceiling! I also have mini’s closet to take over. Still, I have always loved that S&L dresser and I think it would complete our bedroom. (We finally moved Mr. Magpie’s childhood cedar dresser into mini’s room! I feel liberated! Now I just need to upgrade the dresser with some fun new knobs. I had originally suggested these but I think they might be too at-odds with the dresser’s style.)

+A crib for micro’s room! Ah, I am so torn on what to do with this. I had originally thought I might go with the Jenny Lind $200 classic. I’ve seen it in many high-end nurseries and I love its timeless design. (Plus, it converts into a toddler bed!) However, at the midnight hour, I did some more recon on potential cribs and thought this would be amazing for his nursery. It’s a little out of the norm from my usual more traditional-leaning style, but something about its clean, masculine, mid-century vibe appeals. And then there’s this style with the cool caning detail, which is 100% my style, and I gravitated immediately towards it. Maybe it’s too similar to mini’s that it would look odd next to hers when we eventually put them in the same room? I don’t know! As I deliberate, micro is sleeping in a Nuna travel crib, as he’s outgrown his bassinet. (Too long!)

+Nursery rug. I had my heart set on this one but then once I assessed the various other pieces I was eyeing for the room, I decided it just wouldn’t all “hang together” well enough, as I am trying to anchor the room around this Leslee Mitchell Lionel train print, and including pops of navy and red elsewhere. The orange/shades of blue/safari vibe on the rug (though I adore it) just didn’t make sense. Instead, I am considering this one, which I love and can imagine repurposing easily when we convert his nursery into an office/guest room.

+A shower caddy for our master bathroom shower. This one gets rave reviews, and I’ve purchased enough OXO products to know that they tend to be exceptionally well-designed.

+Miele vacuum — finally!

And that’s all she wrote for now.

P.S. The anguish of the move is behind us, praise the Lord. And all those feelings of ambivalence in the midst of it have given way to relief and optimism. I love this new neighborhood.

P.P.S. In the category of random home purchases: just ordered some new dish soap. I have used Mrs. Meyers for a long while but Mr. Magpie has rightly pointed out that it’s a touch on the watery side. Intrigued by this brand…

P.P.P.S. Inexpensive ways to personalize your home and the weight of words.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: The Everyday Winter Boot.

Though I love my collection of Loeffler Randall boots (they rank highly on the “investments that are worth it” list), with the sudden drop in temperatures, I am on the hunt for a boot I can wear in any weather that is flat and warm. I am thinking specifically about my daily traipse downtown to pick mini up from school. I need something that can weather snow, rain, and ultra-cold temps. I haven’t yet pulled the trigger, but the pairs I am considering:

THESE ISABEL MARANTS*

THESE IN THAT GREIGE COLOR (WATERPROOF!)

THESE, ALTHOUGH THE TREADS FEEL DANGEROUSLY SIMILAR TO DOC MARTENS AND I AM DECIDEDLY NOT A DOC GAL

*These are an update to the very popular Nowles boots seen above, which I also like. I own this pair of heeled booties from Isabel Marant in a different colorway three or four seasons ago and it is easily my favorite statement boot I’ve ever bought. I still wear it every season. Jump on the ridiculous discount on a gently used pair here. I think I paid north of $600 for them when they were in-season!

P.S. Great rainy weather gear.

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Teddy Coat.

The most popular items on the blog this past week:

+This longline shearling coat (love love love the ribbing at the cuffs).

+These inexpensive pearl hair clips (which I own — easy way to style/add panache when you’re feeling boring).

+My favorite boots of all time. (Why did they discontinue these?!)

+The inexpensive personalized ring I had etched with mini’s birth date and initials.

+The chicest raincoat.

+I love my MZ Wallace quilted backpack. CHIC solution for a mom on the go who wants to be hands-free. (More finds for a hands-free life here.)

+Obsessed with this cardigan.

+Elegant bench with so many potential applications — at a dining table, at the foot of a bed, in a foyer, in a bedroom. Love. Note that their 20% off promo is coming to a close in a few days!

+Velvet jumpsuit for the impending holiday season.

#Turbothot: Are You in the Arena After All?

I shared an excerpt from a Teddy Roosevelt quote I am loving in this post (P.S. — your comments on that post were a DELICIOUS MORSEL OF GOODNESS — I love you all so much and dream of hosting a dinner party with each and every one of you. So many interesting, sharp, motivated, thoughtful women sharing incredible insight and personality in the responses!):

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming…”

A dear friend of mine wrote me an incredibly thoughtful series of text messages talking about how she related so deeply to this quote in her early 20s when she was working as a Teach for America instructor that she had it pinned to the wall of her apartment. She has since moved on to practicing law (while raising her children and being an all-around incredible human being — #badass), and she commented that “my work days now revolve around long periods of silence reading esoteric documents that are far separated from any true human struggle, passion, or earnest world change. I feel more like those who are not in the trenches…”

She expressed some amount of remorse at this, and then noted: “There is a time for everything, though…now is the time for my young children, and husband, and family and it will be such a short time from now that I will expand my footprint and look outward again to the rest of the world.”

I was moved by her heartfelt, earnest grappling with — how to say it? — the raw stuff of life. The tradeoffs and balances and compromises we make as we navigate our way through the world, and our eternal quest to rationalize and apologize and do better, even when we are doing our very best (as my friend is) and need not engage in such hand-wringing. What a deeply good, thoughtful, civic-oriented person she is; how lucky I am to know her.

Her comments, though, incited some soul-searching on my end. When I heard the Roosevelt quote, I had immediately seen myself in the arena, as a doer of things. If nothing else, I thought, reflexively, in my thirty-five years on this earth, I have tried. I have explored a range of professions and dared to imagine my life differently at nearly every crossroad. I have been unafraid to fail — or perhaps absurdly ambitious and optimistic about my own wherewithal. And now I write in a public forum — very carefully, with no small amount of solicitude over the selection of words and the phrasing of things so as not to injure or ruffle feathers.

Yet my friend’s comments left me in a haze of self-reflection. Am I in the arena after all?

It takes a strong and astute and honest kind of person to step back and say: “This is not the arena. I’m on the outside right now.” Because does it not feel like we are always in an arena of some kind, doing things and struggling and being judged for it (whether that judgment stems from somewhere deep inside or is criticism in earnest)?

How sharp and modest and self-aware she is.

I truly wondered, for the better part of a morning, whether I am in fact a critic after all–one standing in the grandstands wearing a spotless white suit, cheering or jeering or issuing polite golf applause. There are, after all, many at work in pursuit of bigger ambitions and broader dreams. And here I am, perched in my apartment, musing on the living of life as best I can.

I fretted over this.

Perhaps this is why I struggled with a reader’s innocuous comment that “life is not all about nannies and ironed sheets.” I cannot bear the thought that I am a woman immaterial: I strive to be a woman of substance.

But am I, after all, on the outside? Floating around in a cloud of perfume, bedecked in starched linen, sipping lemonade as I look down at a dusty arena of doers?

No.

At the end of the day, after a solid couple of hours of evaluation, I still saw myself in that pit. I am building something here, even though it is, in the broader sweep of things, a paltry offering. I have muscled through my fair share of criticisms and dismissals on behalf of this space and I return to it every day, come what may.

Still — many thanks to my friend for inviting a good measure of humility and perspective into my livelihood. I wonder how you Magpies feel on this front, bearing in mind that — in the words of my friend — “there is a time for everything.” And maybe we slip in and out of the arena, and that’s just fine too.

Post-Scripts: The Arched Mirror.

+This arched mirror is dramatic and fun.

+This $118 dress is giving me major Ulla Johnson vibes. Love.

+PSA: did you know that there is such a thing as a Kitchenaid cover? For my 20th birthday, I asked my parents for a Kitchenaid to take to college. Not thinking forward to the future and acknowledging the fact that a Kitchenaid is a lifelong investment, I selected one in bubblegum pink that is now in complete disharmony with our kitchen (and an eyesore to Mr. Magpie). Problem solved.

+Love all things white, drapey, and pleated.

+Obsessed with these gift tags.

+Lining our pots and pans cabinet with this liner. How fun that it comes in prints and colors?!

+My favorite finds for home.

+Anyone else a die-hard Tervis Tumbler fan? They are vaguely embarrassing to me because they feel like something from a college tailgate or sorority date function but they really are a genius little invention, as they do not sweat — and I like water with ice cubes at night please and thank you and these do not leave a puddle on my bedside table.

+Chanel vibes for under $70. Wear with dark denim, Chanel flats, and a padded headband and — ZOMG. Holy chic.

+Gap is really killing it in the toddler footwear category. Love these!

+These are fun and impractical in just the kind of way I usually like. (Ugh.)

+Love these marble and brass pieces for a bathroom. (Another chic bathroom here.)

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