I’ll do a roundup soon of my favorite outerwear picks for little ones, but I was in need of a coat that could transition from the first few crisp fall days to heavier duty occasions as the mercury drops. I debated for some time between one of these Foque knits, which mini wore the winter before last (so, so precious) and this spiffy fur trim collar beauties. I went with the latter because I immediately conjured an image of her wearing these adorable knee socks with it and it had to happen.
Those of you with toddlers might relate to the baffling silence returned by the following inquiry:
“How was school? What did you do today?”
Though mini is highly articulate and occasionally startles me with her vocabulary (I beamed when her teachers came to visit and she showed them her “tongue depressor,” a part of her prized doctor kit toy), I don’t think she quite yet knows how to answer such open-ended questions, or how to isolate specific activities and memories across such a broad sweep of time. I usually ask more targeted things afterward: “Did you play musical instruments? Did you paint? Did you have a snack?” She almost always says “yes” to any and all of these things, so either she is exceptionally busy at school or I’m still not asking the right questions.
I was tickled, then, when I asked her about her day earlier this week and — after the routine long pause during which I can never ascertain whether she is lost in thought, confused by the question, or disinterested in conversation — she replied, brightly:
“I laughed, mama.”
I laughed out loud with surprise and delight. What a beautiful thing to say about one’s day. Out of all of the possible descriptions, milestones, steps: “I laughed.”
A couple years ago, as a part of an incubator program for female founders, we had a guest lecture on organization as an entrepreneur. I was uncharitably skeptical heading in that day, as I pride myself on being exceptionally on the ball and anticipated that the hour would be poorly spent covering things I already intuitively put into practice.
I was wrong — proof that we are never too old for an open mind. I picked up a fantastic tip that helped me orient myself around meaty, strategic work and make the most of my workweek. I’ve written elsewhere about my “bias for action” (euphemism) and the way I often misuse my time by taking care of busywork because it feels as though it’s in the way until it’s ticked off my to-do list. The instructor’s email hygiene tip helped — especially as I am an “inbox zero” kind of gal — and I thought I’d share it here for my fellow Type A Magpies:
Set up a tag in your inbox labeled “Follow Up.”
Draft a “canned response” along the lines of: “Dear ____, Thanks for reaching out. I received your note and will reply by ____. Onward! Yours, Jen.” Save the canned response as “Follow Up.”
Schedule a recurring calendar invite titled “Follow Up” for a few hours one day a week when you know you’ll be in low power mode work-wise. I tended to find Monday afternoons best for this.
As emails arrive in your inbox, skim quickly, tag anything non-urgent as “Follow Up,” send the canned response, and archive.
On your designated “Follow Up” day, post up in a coffee shop, with your favorite playlist, and pull up all emails with the “Follow Up” tag. Power through responding to each and every one.
There was something delightfully satisfying about this process, as it reassured me that nothing would fall through the cracks while empowering me to turn to more important work with a clear head, as I knew that those emails were safely tucked away, to be dealt with in an orderly way later.
I was thinking of this the other day when I told Mr. Magpie that I feel most successful on days that I am either 100% focused on the children or 100% focused on the blog. In truth, such days rarely exist because everything is a mish-mash at the moment given all of the different transitions we’re in the midst of navigating, breastfeeding, and, well, motherhood in general. But when my nanny called in sick the other day and I had to drop everything to focus 100% on the babies, I told him that I actually felt beautifully productive and satisfied at the end of the day because I had to be in mom role the entire day and wasn’t desperately shuffling priorities, which generally makes me feel as though I’m doing everything halfway. This made me realize that there is a lot to be said for designing my day, my space, and my processes in ways that gives me the impression of control and order. Once mini has completed her phase-in to school and has a more reliable schedule, and once we’ve moved (!), I intend to implement more structure in my days, possibly even closing the door to my room to write from 9-1 every single day, without fail, without interruption, and without permitting myself to look at my household/admin to-dos. This might prove impossible, but the ethic behind it will be helpful in clearing my conscience and postponing concerns about grocery shopping and the like until after my work is done. In short, I’d be borrowing the general philosophy behind the email hygiene tip: triage, segment, and tackle at a designated time.
Any other email hygiene or professional organization tips?
+Love these new jeans. Such a rich, deep black and flattering fit. Probably because I have been spending a lot more time downtown dropping and picking up mini from school, I’m finding myself drawn to all black errythang. Would love to wear those jeans with this chunky knit.
Quick micropost tonight because I saw Leandra Medine Cohen wearing the outfit above during NYFW and have been returning to it over and over. Had to order her denim button-down ($128!). I love the earnest wash — it feels, somehow, vintage? OBSESSED. Will be pairing with my go-to high-waisted denim, Chanel flats, and my favorite black shades (under $100) for cool mom (?!) school drop-off or, if I pony up the courage, Moussy jeans like Leandra’s wearing. (ICYMI: Moussy jeans or THE jeans to wear. I just don’t know if I can pull them off. I can, right?)
At night, after mini goes to sleep and micro is down for his first long leg of nighttime snoozing, the quiet that descends upon our apartment is almost alarming. Delicious and welcomed, but alarming nonetheless.
I used to prefer to work in conditions so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. I would hole up on the quiet floor of Commons Library at UVA, and, later, among the soundless stacks of Georgetown University Library for hours on end, subsisting on Swedish fish and the satisfying scratch of my pen on gridded paper. I still recall the peculiarly clammy and disorienting feeling of emerging from the cosseting embrace of these quiet spaces into the expanse and movement of an early fall evening, when even the mute vibrations of leaves and limbs dancing in the breeze and casting shadows onto the buildings around them stirred and startled me.
Over the course of our relationship, Mr. Magpie has introduced and endeared to me the joy and stimulation of listening to music while working. We are rarely — if ever — without music on in our home, and I now find that the right soundtrack can cheer me through moments of distraction or frustration or exhaustion. When I am at my most serious, I like Chopin’s nocturnes, as performed by Arthur Rubenstein, or opera — especially La Traviata (I have a special attachment to one of its preludes). I can write well alongside the gravelliness and hurt of Van Morrison, the moodiness of Billie Holliday, the smoothness of Madeleine Peyroux or Stacy Kent. Basic as it may be, I love every single one of John Mayer’s albums and play them frequently. When I’m feeling soulful to angsty, I love Leon Bridges, St. Paul and the Broken Bones, Lake Street Dive. The soundtracks to all Nora Ephron movies put me in a cheeky though thoughtful creative zone. Patty Griffin and The Dixie Chicks make me want to belt out my emotions in the broadest bands of color. Sometimes I get down with Willie Nelson and Randy Travis and Tim McGraw (oh, Tim!), when my heart gapes wide open and I long for the simple and unpretentious.
But now! Now my workspace is deafening. We have music, we have a large dog barking, we have a small toddler hanging onto my elbow, depressing keys and dropping her Little People into my lap while asking “what doing, mama? what doing? what doing, mama?,” we have a tiny baby wailing for milk or cooing for attention or grunting and in need of burp. We have the ambient noise of city life outside my window, the footfall of porters dropping off packages at our doorstep, the comings and goings of neighbors, the roar of the AC units, the whirrrrr of the white noise machine in our bedroom, the tinkle or jangle or electronica of toys, the nearly constant running of the washer or dryer or dishwasher or kitchen sink, the beeps and dings of our cell phones —
I can hear this as cacophony.
Or I can experience it as symphony, the fullness and richness of my life expressed in sound.
Aiming today to recognize the concinnity of it all whenever I can, and to embrace in equal measure the occasional, jarring quietude when it dares fall upon our apartment.
Post Scripts.
+Still loving the dresses from Sleeper, especially this gingham number. Would be darling for a fall event (and works with a bump for my expecting Magpies).
+Dress above would be SO precious if your mini is wearing this.
+Love this Gucci vibes tiger sweater for a little one. It’s for boys technically, but I’m thinking of ordering it for mini! So fun!
+Huge fan of anything tortoise over here, and I love these!
+I’ve written about these dozens of times, but these are such great, versatile shoes for little ones. Mini has a pair in navy that goes with a lot of her fall wardrobe, and I love that we can pair them just as easily with a dress as we can jeans and a sweater. Sporty and traditional! Love.
One of the items of Magpie Mail to which I did not respond in yesterday’s post was: What fall investment pieces do you recommend?
I felt this inquiry merited its own post as I am spending a lot of time curating my fall wardrobe at the moment, when I am awake and nursing micro in the wee small hours of the morning. (P.S.: We are through that ultra-rough patch of sleeplessness. We are now on a schedule where I dream feed him just before I go to sleep and then he usually wakes up once at 3 a.m. and is then awake for the day at 6 a.m. That boy has a strong internal clock — he nearly always rouses right at 6 a.m. on the dot.)
At any rate, here are my thoughts on building a fall wardrobe. (Above, the chic pea is wearing that Bottega Veneta pouch bag I’ve been drooling over. And you can recreate her trench lewk with something like this — the sleeves and collar and overall shape are so interesting!)
1 // Comfortable flat in a shade or print that goes with everything. Investment pick: Chanel. I have had mine for ages. I also have a pair of ancient Loeffler Randall pointed toe flats in a calf-hair snakeskin print (sounds weird, but they are SO chic) that have withstood the test of time for going on six or seven years now. They go with everything — black, brown, neutrals, etc. You can get the look with something like this (love that pink trim!) or this ($120!) — or splurge on these. If the print is making you nervous, consider these in the blush or black.
2 // Everyday jeans in a dark wash or black. I still prefer J. Brand photoready skinnies to most other denim brands and cuts for everyday wear, though these and these have been on my radar since basically they day I got pregnant. I also own several pairs of J. Crew toothpick jeans in various washes and love the way they fit.
3 // Statement jacket. Personally, I like investing in a statement jacket every season or two. This is something you wear basically every day of winter, so why not enjoy it and look forward to putting it on? Sometimes people ONLY see you in your jacket, and it’s fun to make it splashy. I lovedthis Harvey Faircloth fur-trim army jacket I bought a year or two ago! The ones I’m especially into this fall are this plaid by IRO, this faux shearling, this Jacquemus (omg), and this plaid long coat.
4 // A few well-made, neutral sweaters. I love a statement sweater as much as the next gal (well, possibly more than the average next gal), but a few staple sweaters worth investing in that you WILL reach for year after year: a cable-knit cashmere crewneck in a color that goes well with most of your wardrobe, like gray, a cashmere crew in black (literally wear this all the time — paired with jeans and statement flats/heels, tucked into skirts, etc), and a chunky Aran knit in ivory (or blush, which is essentially a neutral in my wardrobe). All of these pair beautifully with a range of different styles and looks.
5 // A few around-or-under-$100 statement tops/sweaters. Keep yourself fresh this season with a dramatic sleeve, a boho neckline, or an on-trend color like marigold/caramel. A few of my favorite finds:
6 // An LBD you love. I tend to prefer prints and patterns and trendy sleeves when it comes to dresses (ahem) but it can’t be denied: a basic LBD will see you through a season and can be repurposed for work, cocktail hour, dinner with the parents, etc. Pick a style that flatters your figure. This, this, this ribbed dress, and this are all chic and versatile.
7 // A trendy statement accessory or two. At the top of my lust list:
A PAIR OF COWBOY BOOTS (OBSESSED WITH THESE OR THESE)
A few other staples in case you need to fill these holes in your wardrobe (or upgrade/update what you own): layering tees like this and this, black heeled boots like this or this, a little black bag (love this if a Chanel is out of your budget!).
I received so many questions this go around that I’ve had to split the latest batch into a series of mail posts — so if you don’t see an answer to a question you submitted here, rest assured I will answer it in the following one (probably early next week). Please keep the questions coming! You can always email me at jennifer@thefashionmagpie.com.
Q: I was wondering if you had any hair straightener recommendations? I have referred back to your blowout post many times, (and LOVE B+B Don’t Blow It…omg! Will replace forever!) but don’t recall any straightener recs? Would love to stay under $100 as I would be doing just pieces and not my full hair!
A: Yay! Glad that post has been helpful! (I would also suggest this detangler/primer, which I use all the time nowadays, then let my hair air dry to basically 80% dry and finish with the blowdryer.) At any rate: flatirons! I have an ancient Chi I’ve used for like a decade and I think it does the job perfectly. Heats up quickly and lasts an eternity. I have also randomly heard good things about this super inexpensive one. I think I read about that one in Into the Gloss and bookmarked it in case my Chi ever gives out since I use a straightener fairly sporadically! But — and Mr. Magpie always makes fun of me for my obsession with Amazon reviews — this $36 one has like 30,000 favorable reviews!
Q: I’ve been digging into your archives lately, as I’m expecting my first child in February! My husband and I have opted not to find out the gender ahead of time, and we generally enjoy the anticipation that comes with that decision. However, I would really love to have a special “coming home” outfit for our little one and am thinking I’ll buy something for each gender. I love your traditional and classic taste in children’s clothes, but I am stumped when it comes to newborn apparel for winter. Would you please share some boy and girl recommendations?
A: Thank you so much for the sweet note and congratulations! How exciting! I can imagine that it would be incredibly thrilling to wait to find out the gender. I’m flattered you would seek my input. I was startled to find that for the first few weeks (basically until they are six weeks old, I’d say), the only thing I wanted to dress the baby in was the softest cotton. Anything fancy and frou frou felt almost cruel on her sweet and delicate skin! So, I would bring the baby home in a comfy, supersoft pima/cotton footie and coordinating hat and then either layer with an extra bunting/fleece set (like this) or bundle with a receiving blanket. (I love the supersoft, thick ones from Little Giraffe.) Here are a few options I’d suggest:
+Pixie Lily: I adore these beautiful gowns and footies with the hemstitch edging. Come in either pink, blue, or white (white would work for either gender…just a thought). Note that you should probably dress the baby in a footie for the ride home because you’ll need to put him/her in a carseat and you don’t want his/her legs bare with the gown!
+A bit more whimsical, but I love everything from Livly Baby and brought Hill home in one of their printed footies (the newborn size actually fits newborns!!!) and hat sets and also bought him one of the velour bunny suits (<<could be good for winter), though he was too little for it when he was born. (He was 7 lbs 3 oz, for reference.)
+If you want to go super high-end, check out these ultra-luxe cashmere footies. Maybe get it in ivory so it could work for either gender?
Q: I am getting married this winter at the end of December at the Central Park Boathouse and we are having our rehearsal dinner at an upscale casual (is that a real thing?) restaurant in Midtown. I am stumped on what to wear! I am open to wearing any color and am 5′ 4″ and petite. What would you wear?! Open to having a very fun fashion moment. Budget is anything under $1000!
A: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! So exciting, and sounds like a lovely affair from top to bottom. What a FUN challenge.
My favorite fashion-forward labels are:
+Alice McCall — though at the moment, there’s nothing that really catches my eye for a bride to be. Maybe check back when their next collection launches.
+Self-Portrait. I love love love this for a bride.
+This slinky dress from new-to-me label Rotate would also be EPIC for a winter reception with a bouncy blowout.
I was personally into wearing all white errythang to all wedding related events. Cinq A Sept always has the most gorgeous LWDs — like this or this — but this is one of my all-time favorite jumpsuits (I own it in red) and it would be SO fun with some loud statement shoes and huge earrings in the white.
Q: I find myself in a new city these days and despite my UVa education and over a decade in digital media I still feel like my networking efforts feel forced, heavy-handed or clumsy at best (it’s like my inner introvert totally takes over). Any tips whether you’re desperately looking for a new position or would just like an introduction (personal or professional)?
A: I hear you! I personally feel that honesty/earnestness is best in this situation — let someone know why you want to get coffee or connect, even if it feels uncomfortable. It puts people at ease or at least lets them mentally prepare themselves for your ask. No one wants a hidden sales pitch. This might also make you feel more comfortable, since you’re being up front and can therefore pre-empt the feelings of clumsiness or heavy-handedness. Whether it’s “I would one day love to work at a company like yours and would love to hear about your path to where you are” or “I don’t know many other women in marketing here and would like to get to know the community” or “I’m beginning my job hunt and would love to hear about your experience and learn what you like about your current role/company” — I would just spell it out!
More tactically, and specific to conference-type venues, I got pretty good at networking at events because I rehearsed a “cold opener” and would literally force myself to walk confidently into a room (after a pep talk in my hotel room), find the first cluster of people that were arranged in a way that would make it easy for me to interrupt (you don’t want to have to tap someone on the shoulder or climb over a banquette to start a convo), and deliver it within the first minute of entering the room. Mine was: “Hi, I’m Jen! I don’t know anyone here but I work in xyz and wanted to introduce myself.” Who can say no to a friendly, open appeal like that?!
And, something I learned from Mr. Magpie: pay attention to your body language! If you’re hunched over your phone with your back to the door, no one will approach you. Try standing confidently with your shoulders back by a table facing the door, with your body angled outward. I swear it makes a difference! People will approach someone approachable!
Also — sometimes drinking a glass of wine at the lobby bar beforehand helps 🙂
Q: I loved your post from a few months back about your nightly affirmation for Mini. I have a baby boy and I have been workshopping ideas about a similar affirmation. In this time of #MeToo and toxic masculinity, I want to raise a “man of substance” who is respectful, thoughtful, and caring — basically, what it sounds like you are seeking to do with Micro. I’d love your thoughts of affirmative words to share with an infant that will foster a growth of the attributes we all hope our sons will have.
A: Wow! What a thoughtful question. My first reaction was that I am 100% sure — just based on the phrasing and intent of this question — that you will raise a boy who is sensitive, kind, and aware. Your mindfulness will radiate through every decision and comment you make as a parent. So trust your gut, mama!
Personally, I’m a little troubled by the notion that I can’t or shouldn’t tell my son that he is or is not a certain thing. Can we no longer tell our boys that they are strong and brave? Is that feeding into an antiquated gender norm dichotomy? Etc. I don’t know the answers to these questions but they are worth considering so you can determine what feels right to you.
I have just recently started saying prayers and affirmations aloud with micro and I find myself organically telling him that he is “smart, curious, calm, and sweet.” These descriptors might evolve over time but they capture his personality at the moment, and my intent with the nightly affirmations is to call out and celebrate the strengths I see in my children.
Q: I don’t have children myself, but would like to buy some cute sleepwear for my godchildren. Where should I look?
A: For more of a traditional look, I love Petite Plume. They do great seasonal prints/patterns! For something a bit more whimsical, Roller Rabbit — the softest pima cotton and the coolest prints! Both of those brands are great because you can coordinate the siblings. And for itty bitties, I love Kissy Kissy, which are the absolute softest and hold up well in the wash. More children’s nightwear labels I love here.
Q: What is your favorite housewarming gift for a couple in their late 20s with a 1 year old?
A: I like giving Matouk Auberge towels (with the couple’s last name letter on the front), really fancy hand soap for the type of gal who notices that kind of thing (it’d be lost on some friends, but others would be so grateful for the splurge), or a super nice bottle of champagne. It depends on how close you are to the couple and how much you want to spend!
The two best housewarming gifts I have ever received, though:
+a gift card to a home decor shop! It was nice to be able to use it as I was decorating the house! Ours was to West Elm, but it would also be cool to pick a local home decor shop like (in Chicago) Jayson Home or (in New York) Scully & Scully.
+a set of beautiful and simple silver crosses to put over the front and back doors, from my mom. They’ve followed us everywhere and give me incredible peace of mind. It’s a blessing every time you come and go! When I lived abroad in France in college, I essentially lived in a garage, but the landlord had tacked a cross above the door. I’ll never forget this because it was one of the first things my father noticed about the apartment.
“How beautiful that this was here for you,” he mused. It made me realize that every Catholic home should have a cross somewhere.
Q: Do the Hermes Orans hold up on the streets of NYC?
A: YES. These are easily my most-worn sandals (I own them in the “gold,” which is actually a beautiful saddle brown color); I think I wore them at least five out of seven days a week this summer. They truly get better with age and patina. They are soft as butter and have never, ever given me blisters! I’ve worn them extensively over the past four or five summers and though they do look “lived-in,” they’re still holding up nicely. I have been known to wipe down the footbed with a damp/mildly soapy washcloth or even a diaper wipe when I’m being savage to clean them from the dirt that comes with traipsing through a city, but they still look great.
Q: How did you decide to stay in the city versus move to the burbs?
A: We agonized over this for a long, long time, especially after I spent part of this summer worrying about raising my children alienated from the simpler joys of summer. At the end of the day, with two little children, we prioritized the brevity of Landon’s commute over all else. We wanted to make sure he would see the children everyday (and I’d have his help — ha!) and also — long commutes can be soul-sucking, and we had Landon’s quality of life in mind during this busy and intense season of life. Mini is also starting school downtown and we were overwhelmed by the thought of reapplying to a toddler program elsewhere after all that went into getting her into this one in the first place — or dealing with commuting her into the city every day!
Beyond that, we like living in Manhattan (my grumbles and gripes notwithstanding). We both feel that the next time we move, it will be “for good” in the sense that we want a home we will live in for the majority of our children’s lives, if at all possible. That will probably not be Manhattan — and so, if we’re in New York City for now, let’s DO NEW YORK CITY.
Q: What to wear to a London wedding at four months pregnant?
A: This is a tricky time since it’s hard to fit into non-maternity clothes but maternity clothes can be voluminous. My first thought, though, was this gorgeous, bump-friendly tiered satin dress. It’s a GREAT price — and that marigold color is so on-trend right now. Would be perfect with jewel-encrusted heels or oversized, glam earrings.
Around the start of the second trimester, I also liked wearing shift dresses like this (perfect for a day-time wedding) that could be worn post-pregnancy but would accommodate a bump. A lot of the LoveShackFancy dresses are cut in such a way that they work with a smaller bump — I wore one with a similar waistline to this one to Christmas and it worked perfectly (and I’ve since worn it post-partum!). The loose, tiered fit of this polka dot number could also be fetching with some black pumps and oversized earrings, and this could be epic if you’re a little bit more of a fashion risktaker. For black tie, something like this worn with major earrings would be perfect. And depending on season/venue, I’m smitten with this bump-friendly embroidered long dress! It’s incredible!
P.P.P.S. Ordered these in the “totem khaki” color for micro.
By: Jen Shoop
My Latest Snag: The Baby Sherpa Fleece.
I really wanted to buy micro this fleece for fall, but I had a really hard time justifying the price tag given how quickly he is growing. He is SO tall — he is currently wearing size 6 months for length and even some of his 3-6 month tops look snug and small! — and I worried I’d invest in the damn thing and he’d outgrow it in a matter of weeks. Then I found this! PERFECT.
I’ve had a few Magpie readers write to tell me that they’ve recently moved cities and are struggling to make friends as an adult.
I hear ya.
After college, it became far more difficult for me to make new friends. I became set in my own routines and niches owing to my career and my marriage. A lot of the avenues for friend discovery petered out on their own after college anyhow — you’ve got to be a lot more proactive and outgoing to find new ones.
After moving to Chicago, I remember feeling very isolated, especially since I was still commuting to D.C. every other week for work. I recall thinking that joining a gym might be a good place to meet like-minded women, but the mechanics proved awkward: what, do I stop someone while she towels off from the shower in the locker room and strike up conversation? Smile creepily at someone on a treadmill? People tend to be in the zone at the gym; it’s not exactly a spot where you sit around waiting for conversation. Even when I attended barre and yoga classes, where there’s a bit more time before or after class to exchange pleasantries with neighbors, it felt uncomfortable, as everyone in the room was listening in. I considered joining a meet-up but chickened out at the last minute. I even scoured LinkedIn, filtering for just connections in Chicago, and set myself up on weird friend dates with acquaintances from past schools–none of which went well. It’s not that they went badly, exactly, but it always felt as though the gals were “doing me a solid” by showing up to meet my friendless self, though they clearly intended to return to their own well-established routines with their own well-established friendships afterward.
The best way I made friends in Chicago? Starting a book club. It started as myself, my sister, and three other ladies who had attended college with another sister of mine. Over time, the club grew as members would bring friends, who would bring friends of friends. And as I established myself in the city and made friends through other avenues (one of them being the wife of a work colleague, for example), I would invite them to join, too. The formula is foolproof because everyone is instantly connected by a shared interest (books!) and experience (reading the same book at the same time!), and who doesn’t like wine and snacks? At the same time, some of the gals and I hit it off particularly well and I’d ask them out to lunch or for drinks in the weeks intervening. We became a happy little posse and support system for one another: I remember people swapping parenting tips, exchanging clothes, offering to pet-sit for one another. It was how I found my first nanny, how I divested a ton of accessories and skincare products when I was leaving the city so that I wouldn’t have to throw it away, how I could rest easy that my dog would be cared for if I were to go into labor early with mini.
It can start simply enough: just find two friends or acquaintances (this can start at work, too, if your only resource is your network of colleagues!) and ask them each to invite a friend or two interested in reading. (If you need a suggestion for your first convening, take a look through my past book club picks, as I include discussion questions for many of the books, and they can be great guideposts for conversation. If you go with your own pick, a foolproof way to kick off the convo: have everyone rate the book 1-5 and explain why they’ve scored the book as such. It almost always gives way to an easy and stirring conversation.) Then grab a couple of bottles of wine and put together a cheese board or a couple of appetizers (my spiced shrimp recipe is always a hit). Voila.
Another reason why I love reading.
And if books aren’t your jam (I highly doubt this if you are a seasoned Magpie reader!), you could do an article club (sign up for my friend Hitha’s 5 Smart Reads — she chooses five interesting, topical articles every day and almost any of these would be ideal for an “article club”), a cooking club, a baking club. Anything that gives women a reason to gather in an apartment for an evening of conversation and shared experience.
Any other tips for making new friends as an adult? Please share!
+This pearl headband is MAJOR. I am so loving all of the pearl accessories out this season (just like the last). Two other really great (more affordable) pearl accessory finds: this and this.
Life feels full and overgrown and wild and lush in the best and most trying of ways, like a tree that desperately needs pruning but looks rather pretty in its verdant spillage anyhow.
“This is an accurate and honest reflection of my state of mind and heart right now.”
I was therefore entirely humbled — to the point of tears — by your prolific, encouraging commentary upon the various and sundry musings therein–especially on the subject of my son’s sleep patterns and my resulting sleeplessness.
New moms, and even second- or third-time moms like myself: you would do well to read the comments. Not only is it chock-full of helpful suggestions for and approaches to infant sleep, but it is a reminder that you are not alone. There are many smart and thoughtful and successful mothers that have sat where you sit now, bleary-eyed and soaking through your nursing nightgown and wondering when you will ever, ever sleep more than two or three hours in a row again (who cares about a full eight? I’ll take five strung together and call it a night) and occasionally, in your very worst moments, hurling a pacifier against a wall in a moment of complete and utter frustration and exhaustion after stubbing your toe on the bassinet in the pitch black of your room. As I did three nights ago. Comme il faut. (I’m sorry, Tilly, for the middle-of-the-night missile that woke you so abruptly.)
There were a handful of comments that spoke to my heart and that I have been carrying around with me, from the tip of my tongue to the deepest reaches of my heart, since. While I desperately appreciated all of the specific tips on sleep training and have already put a few into place, these more general words of encouragement left me both weepy with gratitude and empowered with new-found confidence:
“Humans have been to the moon and understand quantum physics. If there was one ‘foolproof’ way to get all babies to sleep we would know about it and it would work.“ – Jessica
“I feel very similar to you about the scheduled baby books. With my oldest I really did try, however sleep training was not for me and as he got older I let it all go and trusted he would sleep and he did.” – Brooke
“Hoping you can find some moments to be gentle with yourself.” – Kate
“Be kind to yourself. You’re doing a great job, mama.” – Heidi
“Take each day as it comes. Power through with love. You’ve got this!” – Cynthia
Thank you, Magpies, for your advice and encouragement and for offering me the space to speak openly about my many mistakes and occasional successes as I try my damnedest to mother this little babe the best I can. I hope fellow Magpies — mothers and not — give all of these words a home in their hearts.
To Cynthia in particular: I will be praying for the grace to power through with love for a long time to come. Thank you for this directive I so desperately needed to hear during this time of growth and spillage and shapeliness in my life.
Post Scripts.
+This sweater is my kind of sweater. I love the dimensions and colors. Get the look for less with this!
We compiled all Magpie recipes into beautiful cards for your kitchen! Get the recipe card collection in your inbox here.
One of my most requested posts (for years now) has been a list of weeknight meals in our house and today I thought I’d oblige. One important caveat is that cooking is Mr. Magpie’s principle passion in life–and that he is willing to spend the time and money to eat very well. In so many words: some of these recipes are not exactly amateur-level or require complicated ingredients or multi-day preparations. (I’m personally more of a pragmatic cook — which makes me the effusively grateful beneficiary of his taste for the labor-intensive and exotic.) Below is a sample of some of the recipes we make over and over again:
1// ORECCHIETTE WITH BROCCOLI RABE + ITALIAN SAUSAGE. From the Sauces + Shapes cookbook (our favorite pasta cookbook). I love this because the bitter rabe plays nicely with the spicy/fatty/salty sausage and the textural contrast with a chewy orecchiette can’t be beat. I also love that this is “one-dish.” No sides needed — starch, veg, and protein in one. A MUST: really good pecorino romano cheese (we buy our from Eataly) and high-quality dried pasta (we love Afeltra, which you can order in bulk on Amazon, but for this dish, we buy this brand from Eataly — if you’ve not yet tried Afeltra’s pasta, please please please do yourself a favor. It’s a different beast from the Barilla you buy at your supermarket). Mr. Magpie would also insist this recipe requires homemade chicken stock, which he makes in bulk on Saturday afternoons every few weeks after stocking up on chicken necks and feet from the butcher (yikes).
2 // HALIBUT, CORN, AND TOMATO IN PARCHMENT. From the Fish Forever cookbook. Absurdly light and delicious — the jalapeno and ginger add such a welcome kick — and crazy healthy. Plus, it’s always fun unwrapping your dinner. Like a gift on a plate. This is super easy to make.
3 // ZUNI ROAST CHICKEN, ORZO, FRESH PEAS. If you’ve not yet tried Zuni’s roast chicken, you are in for a treat. Though I find Judy Rodgers’ recipes overly fussy, they do yield incredible results and the entire cookbook is a must-own for any kitchen with serious food-lovers. The key here is dry-brining the bird at least a day in advance and leaving in your fridge. This ensures you get that super crispy delicious skin. We serve ours with buttered orzo and fresh peas.
4 // SKILLET HAMBURGERS, OVEN FRIES WITH MALT VINEGAR, GREEN SALAD. We buy our hamburger meat from Dickson’s in Chelsea Market and the quality is nuts. We tend to serve our burgers on English muffins with sharp cheddar; we recently read a scathing critique Bourdain once wrote on the subject of pairing burgers with brioche buns and we felt chastened by past decisions. BUT — you do you. Since we do not have access to a charcoal grill, we cook ours in a cast-iron skillet (if you don’t own a Lodge, do it ASAP — inexpensive and you can cook almost anything in it, to perfection; we inherited one of ours from Mr. Magpie’s grandmother and it is so well-seasoned). And we pair with oven fries prepared in a unique way: we slice potatoes fairly thick and then soak them in water spiked with a few splashes of white vinegar for an hour before letting them sit out on paper towels to dry out REALLY WELL. Then we preheat the oven and place a pan coated in vegetable oil inside so the pan and oil are pretty hot. Then we add the potato spears to the hot pan and bake for 20 minutes before flipping each fry individually and painstakingly and toasting on the other side. These are about as good as you can get a “fry” without actually frying it. We like dipping ours in malt vinegar (#midatlantic) rather than ketchup. I usually pair burgers with a big mound of greens dressed simply in my favorite homemade vinaigrette, which I’ve perfected for over a decade and use constantly (even works great to make a quick pasta salad with roasted veg):
Magpie Vinaigrette
-3 tablespoons vinegar (I like sherry, balsamic, or champagne vinegar best, but you can use anything you have on hand)
-1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
-1 tablespoon honey
-1 smashed garlic clove
-5-6 tablespoons olive oil (or sometimes I combine a blend of olive oil and canola oil)
-Salt and pepper to taste
Put everything in a small jar and shake.
5 // SPICED SHRIMP, TATER TOTS, AND GREEN BEANS. A Shoop family classic. Bring a few bottles of beer (we usually use Heineken) to a boil in a small pot and toss in a bay leaf or two, a sprinkle of peppercorns, a few lemon slices, and a heavy shake of Old Bay. Add shell-on shrimp and cook until firm (rule of thumb: if the shrimp are in the shape of a “C”, they are cooked; if they are in the shape of an “O,” they are overcooked). Drain in a colander and absolutely smother in Old Bay (a lot of this will come off when you peel the shrimp — you can’t be too generous here). Chill in the fridge. (This is also a great recipe for parties since you can make it in advance.) We serve with homemade cocktail sauce: ketchup or a blend of chili sauce and ketchup, dash worcestershire, squeeze of a lemon, a mess of prepared horseradish (we like it super piquant), dash of hot sauce. For some reason we like to serve this with store-bought tater tots and steamed green beans with butter. Don’t ask me why, but this is almost always the case. It’s a fun meal to eat, sprawled around a table with messy hands.
6 // “HARD-SHELL BEEF TACOS.” There is something delightfully homey and throwback about a hardshell taco with crumbly seasoned beef — I ate these growing up, though we used kits from Old El Paso and the like. This is just like that but with way better ingredients and a homemade seasoning mix. We use the unimpeachable recipe from America’s Test Kitchen, available online here. (We also own several of the ATK cookbooks and they are INCREDIBLE. They really do their due diligence and all of their recipes turn out perfectly and are approachably written.) We serve ours with shredded iceberg, diced tomatoes, minced red onion, shredded cheddar, limes, and homemade guacamole. (One secret to Mr. Magpie’s guacamole: he blanches the garlic before mincing and adding so that it’s not potently garlic.)
7 // “MMM! CHICKEN” WITH ANGEL HAIR + BROCCOLI. Basically chicken scallopini. I frankly forget why we started calling this “mmm! chicken,” but it is delicious. We pound out chicken breasts very thin, dredge in flour seasoned with salt and pepper, dip in egg wash, and bread with panko crumbs — then pan-fry in butter. Mr. Magpie accompanies this with a lemon-white-wine sauce he deglazes in the pan we’ve just cooked the chicken in. We always serve with a mound of buttered angel hair pasta and roasted broccoli.
8 // GREEK SALAD WITH SKILLET CHARRED CHICKEN. The skillet charred chicken comes from Anthony Bourdain’s Appetites book and is outrageous. You marinate in yogurt and some spices/aromatics for up to a day in advance and then cook in a hot skillet. You’ll be astounded that you made this in your kitchen, on your stovetop, because it tastes like it’s been on a spit or something. It’s so delightfully crispy and seasoned! We put this on an enormous Greek salad recently and it was incredible.
9 // BUCATINI WITH CHERRY TOMATOES. Another Oretta favorite. This is a great dish for a late summer dinner. It requires minimal effort and calls for minimal ingredients — just the kind of dish we love. We picked up some fresh farmer’s market cherry tomatoes, roasted them per the recipe, and tossed with Afeltra dried bucatini. Mr. Magpie served this in an enormous ceramic bowl in the center of our table and it made for a toothsome, satisfying meal.
10 // HANGAR STEAK WITH RED WINE-SHALLOT REDUCTION, CHERRY-GOAT CHEESE PANZANELLA, CORN. We usually make this in the dead of winter and serve it with mashed potatoes and roasted brussels, but it’s just as delicious in the middle of summer served with a seasonally appropriate panzanella and whatever looks good at the farmer’s market. The hangar steak is a Boulud recipe from this book. Though my favorite cut of beef is the ribeye (I mean, it’s just the best), the hangar steak is often called “the butcher’s cut” in that butchers often keep it for themselves! It’s usually far less expensive than other cuts but absolutely delicious. I serve this with Molly Wizenberg’s cherry-goat cheese bread salad and whatever looks good at the market at the end of summer — fresh corn, pole beans, etc.
And nearly always — per the photo above, though mostly enjoyed with two spoons, “right out of the bucket,” as Mr. Magpie puts it (read to the end to understand the reference) — ice cream for dessert. Mr. Magpie loves Van Leeuwen ice cream and I prefer Ample Hills, both of which can (dangerously) be delivered straight to our apartment via Postmates…
+The first thing I’m buying for my new apartment. We made it two years with a compact, battery-powered little guy and we need the upgrade. (Now that we will have the closet space to store it.)
+This lamp is chic and super affordable, as is this one, which looks a lot like a more expensive designer style!
+I pulled out a bunch of my decorating books in advance of our move, looking for inspiration. I just adore Nate Berkus and enjoy revisiting this book of his every few months. I love all of the animal accents/prints/pieces he includes in his interiors and feel like he’d approve of these inexpensive tortoise shells as decor in a library.
+Three other home decor books in my cart right now: this one by Rebecca Atwood, this one by Cathy Kincaid, and this one by Tom Scheerer.
+Will be doing a larger post on all the new pieces of furniture we’ll be buying for our new digs (wheeeeee!), but
For some reason, I always feel compelled to assert that I’m “not big into self-help stuff.”
And yet.
I loved and deeply internalized a lot from the Brene Brown special (if that’s not self-help, I don’t know what is), have been known to mull over things I hear in Goop podcasts for weeks on end, and often bookmark inspirational quotes for later use. The other day, I skeptically decided to pair a run with one of Nike Run Club’s coaching sessions (you can download the app and they have a bunch of different “runs” you can take where a coach will tell you when to pick up the pace, slow down, etc.) and rolled my eyes as the coach in my earbuds insisted that I was “stronger today than yesterday” and all kinds of feel-good nonsense.
But then something he said pierced me.
“It’s all about small improvements, doing something just a little bit better today than you did it yesterday.”
Aha.
I clung to that message with something like desperation and carried it with me for my 22-minute run (in the spirit of incremental improvements, it was two minutes longer than my previous run!), the wobbly-legged walk across CPW, up the elevator into my apartment, and straight into the weekend. There is a lot going on in my life — all good and happy and forward-moving things, but the magnitude of detail and coordination involved is knee-buckling to a planner like myself. (In fact, I put myself to bed early last night, at 8:52 p.m., and then laid awake for a full two hours, stiff as an ironing board, fretting over all the details for today: doing complicated math to estimate when micro might need to be breastfed throughout the day to accommodate an apartment viewing and an appointment, pondering whether I should offer mini’s teachers coffee and a treat during their visit to the apartment or whether that was overkill, worrying about the phrasing of an email I’d just sent to a broker, wondering whether Gap would still be running it’s Labor Day promotion as I’d forgotten to order socks for mini for school, etc.)
But. Two things left me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning, and I can tell you that neither of them had anything to do with getting a full night of sleep. The first was saying a few prayers yesterday asking God for grace and patience (these were prayers that felt more like conversation — beseeching conversation, mind you — though I have been known to more formally lean on words from the Bible in trying times and the Hail Mary is never far from my tongue). Lord do I need them with my stubborn and wonderful toddler and my awake-all-hours-of-the-night baby and the impending chaos of a move and a new routine as mini eases into life as a school-goer.
And when I woke today, though I was bone tired, I felt a warm kind of zen permeating my outlook.
One step at a time, Jennie. We’ll get there. Patience and grace. (Thanks to all the readers for the encouragement yesterday. I read and re-read every single one of them.)
The second, though, was this concept of small and incremental improvements. Though I appreciated the message from a fitness perspective (encouragement that it’s OK to take things good and slow as I get back in shape post-baby), I immediately appropriated it for my purposes as a mother and wife.
The truth is: I will never be able to do everything well in a single day — or, maybe I will, but those days will be rare and blessed things. Instead, I pledged to focus on the itty bitty improvements each day, the tiny victories that make me feel good about myself as a member of my family. So I took out a little notebook and started jotting down one thing, sometimes two, I am proud of every single day. It takes only a few minutes at the end of the day, and it immediately puts me in a better state of mind, one oriented around progress and accomplishment. A few of mine from the past few days:
+Read a lot of books to mini and micro today. Enjoyed every minute of it.
+ Took mini to Church and she was an actual angel. Came well-prepared with activities (this is still the MVP) and snacks, and I must be doing something right, because she understood that she was supposed to be quiet and actually put her finger to her lips (“shhh”) a few times. I was able to fully listen to and internalize the Gospel today for the first time in what feels like weeks.
+Ran two minutes longer than the previous jog.
+Put both kids down by myself and actually felt like I was owning the process versus the other way around.
+Ate dinner at the table after both babies were asleep like proper adults rather than sitting on the couch in front of the TV.
When I look back across these “small improvements,” they’re nothing big or particularly noteworthy, but they give me the impression of achievement– sort of the same strategy that undergirds my commitment to listing every single little thing I intend to do in a given day, from remembering to do tummy time with the baby to taking Tilly for her midday stroll.
But this kind of journaling has done something else, too. Per usual, I write to know what I think. And this practice has made me think, hard, about the things that matter to me as a mother. What makes me feel that I am doing a good job? How do I measure myself as a mom? What does “success” look like? I’d never actually paused to think about this, critically. Looking back across my list, I reckon it has something to do with feeling prepared and mindful and present when it comes to the rearing of my children.
I’m wondering if any of my magpies are up to the challenge of doing the same thing: writing down one small improvement or achievement you’ve made every single day, whether in the realm of career, fitness, marriage, friendship, family, motherhood, health.
I’m confident it will make you feel good about yourself (or better about yourself, if good is too far afield) and think carefully about how you are measuring your own success, important and eye-opening exercises both.
Post Scripts.
+Can we talk about these shoes for an unconventional bridal lewk?
+This might be the perfect size and shape for a diaper bag, but seeing how much I’ve destroyed my Goyard using it as a diaper bag (which is half the price!), I can’t justify it…
A lot happening in these parts. Back to school night tomorrow, then mini starts her twos program next week. As a first-time mom, I have been mildly overwhelmed by all the preparations for school, including several parent education nights (and coordinating sitters for them), a home visit from her teachers (!), an extended “phase-in” period that means I need to be available to bring mini to school for an hour or two at a time for several days — unless she snaps right in, in which case I can leave her for increasingly long increments (all of which in turn means quite a bit of maneuvering and contingency planning with micro’s breastfeeding schedule), and all of the paperwork and coordination that goes into her first week (including a “stroller parking application” so that we can leave her umbrella stroller at school when Mr. Magpie drops her off in the morning and either I or our nanny can pick her up with it in the afternoons — and is that not the most New York thing you’ve ever heard?)
Meanwhile, we’ve been doing our best to mentally prepare mini for school. I have been favoring my usual crutch: books that explain and depict transitions (mini loved this and this for toileting and this for adjusting to life with a little sibling). We have been reading a lot of Amelia Bedelia’s First Day of School, Splat the Cat, and The Kissing Hand. I also really appreciate this What to Expect at Preschool book. It’s overly text-dense, but I always abridge and add my own language (i.e., swapping “preschool” for just “school” and “teachers” for “guides,” the lingua franca at Montessori) and it provides a lot of great prompts for conversation about school (i.e., “what is a teacher?” “will my parents come with me?” “what’s a classroom?” “what if I need to use the toilet?” etc.) We also printed out a “school countdown” page and taped it to her bedroom door. Every morning, we cross off an extra day (she does it with a crayon and loves this task) and talk excitedly about how many days are left until she goes to school. The key thing I took away from the parent education night on “separating” at mini’s school was that it’s important to talk frequently about what’s coming down the pike to mentally prepare them and set expectations. This jives with some of our observations about mini’s behavior, in that we noticed that she hates transitions, even just moving from one activity to the next or going from dinner to the bedtime routine. We have been doing a lot of “Emory, you have five minutes until it’s time to brush our teeth. You can play or finish your dinner, but you have five minutes.” And then we set the timer using Siri, and when the alarm goes off, it’s go time. It’s not foolproof but it’s helped with preventing colossal meltdowns.
Anyway. Thought I’d share all of the items I ended up buying for mini for the school year:
OK. So, that’s what’s happening on that front. At the same time, we are hunting for apartments and have at the time of this post seen six candidates. The good news is that all of them could, technically, work and are substantially larger than our current apartment. The bad news is that somehow even though we are only a month out from our desired move-in date (October 1st — our current lease ends October 15th, and we’re comfortable with that overlap, as it would make the moving process a lot simpler), a lot of the units are looking for tenants who want to move in immediately. We may need to pay double rent for longer than we’d like. It simply boggles my mind that the NY market moves this quickly. In college, I remember signing a lease for a unit in, like, April that wouldn’t start until September. Even Chicago was more spaced out. Here, you need to find a unit and somehow magically coordinate a move within days?! How do people with children do this?! Anyway, I digress. I’ve had two quotes from moving companies for full packs of our apartment (best money we ever spent in our move to NY and totally essential this go around) and feel prepared on that front. Incidentally, I re-read my post on the move to NYC and — wow. I still have PTSD from the experience. It in part explains why we have decided (at the moment) not to engage a broker. This means we spend a lot more time scouring Streeteasy (NYC-specific platform for rentals and sales) for listings and coordinating for viewings, but — it saves us a ton of money and frustration. And, frankly, we’re doing just fine without one, especially having been through the rental process here in the past and knowing what to ask and where we can push to negotiate. It would be nice to have someone coordinating all of this for us (“just show up here at 11 am”), but last time, the broker’s ineptitude caused us substantial duress and money (like, thousands and thousands of dollars in hotel bills and temporary storage) and we are highly skeptical that even a skilled broker would be worth the fee (typically one month’s rent).
One thing we’ve decided as we’ve looked is that we are going to be flexible on neighborhood. We’re looking all up and down the West side and have seen apartments on the UWS, Chelsea, West Village, and TriBeCa. As each day ticks by, I’m growing increasingly impatient, but I know we have time in this crazy New York market and I trust we will sort this out.
All the while, I am horribly sleep-deprived. I try my best to avoid whining about this because it’s a part of motherhood, it’s a temporary season of life, and I am in some ways in control of my destiny. I *could* carve out time to nap during the day while the nanny is here. I *could* hire a night nurse. I *could* let him “cry it out.” I *could* go to bed at 7:30 P.M., when micro typically gets his longest stretch of sleep. But I choose not to do any of these things and therefore feel unjustified complaining in any measure. But, this is the fact of the matter: I am exhausted. I am going on three months of waking at least once, and often thrice, each night. In the morning, I find myself doing the depressing math as to how many hours of sleep I gained the night prior — and it’s usually around five, broken up into 1.5-2 hour segments. This does not a healthy or happy mom make. My doctor has assured me that he can go for longer segments without eating and that he does not need to be fed more than once at night. (In fact, some say they can go a full twelve hours at this age.) I know this, I know this, I know this. I am in a peculiar bind because I feel like I might have more of the emotional stamina to let him cry it out (I could not bear it at this age with mini!), but until we move to a three bedroom, it’s rather challenging to accomplish when he is screaming literally a foot from my face in his bassinet.
At one point, though, I felt so run-down that I decided to re-read “Moms on Call,” as about half of my mom friends swear by its schedule/approach and have babies happily sleeping through the night by three or four months of age. One friend said, matter-of-factly, over drinks the other day: “It just works. It’s foolproof.”
OK. Foolproof?! I’ll give it a try.
I re-read it and remembered all the reasons why it wasn’t for me with mini. I feel as though it doesn’t live in the real world — or at least the reality of my world. For one thing, we don’t have a separate bedroom (or, for that matter, crib) for micro that will be consistently quiet and dark. For another, I have a second child and I work from home and sometimes sticking to their schedule is insanity-inducing. I attempted to adopt her schedule for a few days and drove myself mad. For example, I found myself attempting to put micro down for naps at the suggested times rather than following his cues for sleepiness as I normally do, and then would find myself either continuously returning to his bassinet to shush and soothe him or walking around with him in my arms for thirty minutes at a stretch. If I had just waited for his telltale “I’m ready to sleep” signals — red eyebrows, squirms, fussiness — he would be out in a matter of minutes and down for a nice stretch of sleep. For another thing, bedtime is insane with two kids if I’m trying to stick to their program. I was literally racing through mini’s regimen, speed-reciting her prayer, in order to get to him for his bedtime bath before his nighttime feed — and OH. For what, Jennie?! Suddenly I was not only sleep-deprived but stressed and constantly checking my watch and my day — which already belongs entirely to my children and especially to my breastfeeding son — was doubly not my own, as I was not only beholden to my children, but to the schedule of the book.
I’m glad the book has worked for other moms. I love the idea of a consistent routine. I applaud and celebrate any tool that empowers any woman to be successful in her motherhood. I am happy for (and envious of) my friends with babies who sleep through the night. But I could not bend myself around it and it only worsened things for me temporarily. I should have known better: I tend to feel best, and most successful as a mother, when I am following my instincts rather than a rulebook. On the upside, it did make me realize that my instincts are not far afield from the ones espoused by the book, which made me feel good. I was already intuitively following the eat-play-sleep cycle, just on a more flexible rotation, i.e., sometimes he went four hours between feeds, sometimes only two and a half. On lucky days, almost five. He does sleep at least a little bit during each “cycle,” though a number of his naps are in the stroller or carrier out of necessity, and sometimes they are 20 minutes and other times, two hours. We tend to be feeding around the same times they suggested in the book. And “bedtime” follows a lot of the patterns in the book, though sometimes I only bathe him every other night, and usually I feed him an hour before I put him down, waiting for him to show me he is tired before I swaddle him.
Is this too detailed? Ha. Catharsis via the pen.
Anyhow, I am still struggling with the sleep issue. I am thinking that I will persist with the status quo until we move and micro has a proper bedroom and crib and can then pursue a more stringent “close the door and do not go in” policy to drop one of the nighttime feeds.
My other thought is — maybe he is going through a growth spurt? For a few weeks, he was sleeping consistently from 8 PM – 2 AM or sometimes 3 AM and that felt doable. Now we’re waking at 12 PM, 3 AM, and 5 AM and then he’s fussy until around 7. Maybe he is just hungry? Could he be teething already (he’s drooling a LOT)?
Such are the cyclical musings of moms around the world, I know. I am tired with you, my friends.
And so concludes my rambling update on life lately.
How are things with you? Anyone muscling through the experience of sending her little one off to school, or struggling with sleep with a baby, or moving in Manhattan? Or something else?
+This would also be a super cute gift for a daughter going off to school — you could wear one and she could wear the other.
+I wouldn’t say I belong to any one “school of thought” when it comes to parenting, in part because I don’t do well reading books on the topic, as noted above. They cloud my thinking and stress me out! I do borrow elements from slow parenting and have mused over “free-range” parenting. Mainly, I love this parenting advice.
