A great time to stock up on Lilly dresses for your little ones for next season. The Mid-Atlantic prepster in me just can’t resist dolling mini up in Lilly’s signature bold prints at least a few times a season (you can see her above rocking a print when she was a little less than two).
One bonus to Lilly’s slightly boxy fit (and the fact that their itty bitty sizes come with bloomers) is that I find mini has been able to wear hers for multiple seasons, which makes them (in my opinion) a good deal, especially when on sale. Mini has several of the classic shift style and they will definitely fit next year, possibly even stretch into the year following. I’m also eyeing this cute little short/tunic top set.
I absolutely adore the tiny croc Jacquemus bag above, alongside the requisite fall 2020 accessory: a face mask. It is defiantly impractical in the most delicious of ways: heavy on form and light on function, exists purely for aesthetic enjoyment. To which I say: cheers. We all need a little frivolity this year. (You can get a similar whimsical top-handled croc find here for less).
More of my top picks for the best bags for fall 2020 here:
LE SPLURGE // At the top of my personal bag lust list? A Bottega Veneta Cassette bag. I’ve seen a few in NYC and they are crazy chic. They’re downtown-elegant-cool in the way Alexander Wang bags were maybe a decade ago — remember all the studs and hardware, and we were all kind of scared and entranced by them? Ha. Anyhow, I think I’d be a whole new woman carrying that BV bag. Wowza.
LE EVERYDAY WORKHORSE (COULD BE DIAPER BAG!) // On the more reasonably-priced front, I love the new shape/shoulder strap of the updated Naghedi tote in inky navy blue. This is a fantastic everyday bag that could work as a diaper bag for those of you with small children. And it has a kind of Bottega Veneta-esque quality thanks to the woven styling. It’s the kind of bag that will make people wonder “what is that bag?!” And, just on the heels: “I need one, too.” I know because I saw a mom carrying one a year or two ago and I thought the same thing.
LE ALTERNATE EVERYDAY WORKHORSE // also still love my MZ Wallace medium metro tote for schlepping around with the children. It’s durable, incredibly lightweight, and chic. A lot of you mamas refer to this as your “winter diaper bag” and opt for something more summery in the warm months — now might be a good time to invest if you’ve been eyeing it for awhile. I wrote a full review here.
If you like the MZ Wallace bag but feel that they’re becoming too ubiquitous and therefore want something different (I, too, am an erstwhile philistine), consider this slightly sportier variation from Vee Collective.
LE CHICEST SHOULDER BAG // I am drooling over this polished knot-tie snakeskin-embossed bag. It is just the kind of understated elegance of a Carolyn Bassette Kennedy-type. The lady who wears this bag is sharp, practical, and understated chic.
LE BOLD TOTE // Have eyed this timeless Clare Vivier forever. Love the punchy tangerine color and sporty handles.
LE DOUBLE TAKE TOTE // This roomy All Saints canvas bag is amazing. It looks like it could be something by Balenciaga, Loewe, or St. Laurent. LOVE the trapeze shape.
LE CROSSBODY // I have seen a ton of moms wearing simple crossbody bags when picking up their children. It makes so much sense — hands-free, and the perfect shape for stowing sanitizer, mask, phone, and wallet. I see a lot of Gucci logo and Chanel crossbodies on the streets these days, but I also think this timeless Celine trio would be an amazingly chic pick, as would this green croc St. Laurent (wow wow wow). On the more reasonably priced end of the spectrum, I love this simple style from J. Crew with this snakeskin-embossed strap swapped in!
I used to love back-to-school shopping at Staples, selecting my pens and composition notebooks and binders with care. I loved the ritual of it. (Did anyone else look forward to covering her textbooks in contact paper or kraft paper?). Nowadays, I still get a thrill out of desk accessories. Below, my desktop favorites:
I USE THESE INEXPENSIVE PENCIL BOXES TO STOW ALL OTHER OFFICE SUPPLIES (TAPE, PAPER CLIPS, PENS, ETC) IN MY DESK CHAIR, WHOSE SEAT CAN BE REMOVED TO REVEAL STORAGE (GENIUS) — THE CHAIR IS FROM BALLARD’S AND IS SIMILAR TO THIS BUT THEY NO LONGER MAKE WITH STORAGE BENEATH SEAT
I am hoping to one day soon upgrade my desk (which I’ve had since college and is, frankly, on its last legs), and I would cherish one of the gorgeous custom ones from CEH. A few others I love at slightly more attractive pricepoints:
For a child or teen’s room, I love this leaning Sawyer desk from C&B. It’s so reasonably priced and so practical in a small space! You can even add leaning bookcases to flank each side and achieve a cool built-in effect for under $500. I’m a HUGE fan of the Sawyer collection, which they seem to have just relaunched because they were not available for a few months; we use their larger bookcases in our living room and always get questions about them. You cannot beat that price!
Fall is upon us. I mentioned this last week, but on recent fall item I ordered that has just now arrived is this $25 collared sweatshirt, which I intend to wear with white skinnies as we ease into cooler temperatures.
P.S. More exaggerated collars here and my favorite puff-sleeved sweatshirt from last season was restocked in all colors here.
We have had a couple of major toddler meltdowns in these parts in the past few weeks — once on our way to the dentist and a couple of times during drop off and pick up at school. I’d been steeling myself for them. School is a lot for a three year old after six months at home with only us and a daily trip to Central Park. School presents new rules, new people, new routines, new sights, new commutes, new activities, new experiences, new face shields and the shocking newness of not being an arm’s reach from mom and dad at all times. Poor little thing. I waver between worry and the semi-hollow repetition of the same mantra parents are repeating to themselves daily across the globe in the face of this pandemic: “Children are resilient.”
Earlier this week, I had to take mini to a doctor’s appointment before school. I had a knot in my stomach the day beforehand, worried about a repeat of the dentist debacle and fretting over the careful timetable I’d charted for us that I knew would implode the intricate morning routine to which has she has grown accustomed. Instead of leaving at 8:20 a.m., we had to be out the door by 7 a.m.: somehow, we’d need to compress the usual ambling stretch of morning activities from two hours and twenty minutes (she routinely wakes at six) to one hour, and I’d need to get her to a doctor, and did I mention it was a torrential downpour outside that morning? — oh joy.
To my flabbergasted surprise, when I told her we were going to get dressed early and take a taxi cab to see the doctor — “just mommy and Emory” — she complied with a spring her in step. I was careful not to hurry her along, only offering an enticing: “It’s raining out, so we’ll need to jump in all the puddles” to expedite. When she tarried in her bedroom for a second, I reminded her of our matching rainboots and she grinned, running to the closet. “We’re going to the doctor!” she exclaimed to Mr. Magpie when he emerged from the kitchen moments later, “and we’re going to splash in all the puddles.” We exchanged suspicious looks over her head.
But the morning routine, despite its dramatic compression, went off without a hitch, and she more or less danced out the door. She was a dream in the taxi, haughtily informing the driver: “You’re going the wrong way!” which was in fact mind-bogglingly astute, as we usually take a left out of our building and we were gliding off to the right. In the cab, she asked about cockroaches (…) and where the sea lions at the Central Park Zoo sleep when it’s raining (?) and held my hand and told me, gleefully, as we drove down Fifth Ave: “I see New York!” She was easy as pie at the doctor’s office and thrilled with the tiny unicorn toy she was awarded upon departure. We had over an hour to kill before school and so I let her jump through every puddle on Fifth Avenue and then select whatever she wanted from the glass case of a bakery (the biggest chocolate croissant they had) and as I stood under an enormous umbrella close to Madison Square Park, the city anointed in rain around us, I watched my three-and-a-half-year-old joyously sprint through the onslaught, open and close her umbrella, hop from one circle to another, chase sparrows, and it dawned on me that the one thing I had given her this morning was the impression of free time.
It is so hard — so hard! — to maintain that aura of unhurried adventure when you are a working parent and you have fifty five things on your agenda and there are deadlines and appointments to keep and you know that if you are even five minutes late for your staggered drop-off window at school, you will need to wait an extra thirty minutes to get your daughter in. But that morning, I worked hard to extricate our movements from the logistical web of adulthood. I tried to erase it, or obscure it, under the guise of “special time with mommy” and much to my surprise, it worked.
I will need to remember this the next time I am straining my way through a heavily scheduled day with my girl in tow: it’s my job to wordlessly do the worrying and planning and her job to run through the puddles.
+Take it from someone who spent way too much time and money tracking down a Proper Peony birthday dress for mini’s third birthday: when you see it, buy it.
+People absolutely love this rain jacket, currently on sale for 40% off. I do not need a new raincoat, but I have to say I am awfully tempted by this Stutterheim, which I’ve been eyeing forever (whenever my current rain coat dies, this will be my next), and it is currently 40% off in the sand color.
+Lots of denim-on-denim situations trending for fall — this top is perfection, and this dress would take fashion conviction but wowww. I’d keep the rest of the look super classic, i.e. pair with black suede pointed toe pumps and a black Chanel.
A: My main goal this fall is getting mini back into the swing of school and normalizing all of the COVID-related changes. I know that sounds so ridiculous, but right now, I’m feeling desperate to settle into a good rhythm. We’re still battling a lot of tearful pick-ups and drop-offs around here, and the occasional resistance to wearing mask/shield. I want to be through the transition and into the pattern. I’m sure a lot of moms can relate to this right now.
On the “fun” side of things, we have already purchased timed tickets to go apple picking at Fishkill Farms, and we are also planning to visit Storm King Art Center (an outdoor art gallery) if we can swing getting tickets. (All of these venues have sought-after timed tickets!) We have also been in an amazing and extravagant routine of having my brother-in-law and sister over for dinner every other Saturday, and we continue to up the ante on cuisine. Sometimes we cook in and sometimes they bring us carry-out from New York landmarks like Carbone and Prince Street Pizza. Hoping we continue that and can also swing a visit to Blue Hill at Stone Barns, which is currently offering amazing (socially-distant) picnics on its property.
Q: I am intrigued by the Artis makeup brushes. Which one do you think is best for my face for foundation and which one for concealer?
A: I’m in love with my Artis brush. I own the mirror oval six. I think it’s best suited for concealer, but I also use it for foundation/tinted moisturizer. I will likely soon upgrade to a slightly bigger size for the latter purpose, but — honestly? The oval six gives me good control over application so I don’t mind its small size. I strongly recommend starting with the six, which can be used for both concealer and foundation, and then, if you want to expand your collection, add the seven as a dedicated foundation brush. I actually bought my brush from Walmart because it is a good deal less expensive there, but Artis reached out to let me know that Walmart is not an authorized retailer of their products, so they couldn’t be sure of its authenticity. In all honesty, if the Walmart brush I bought is a dupe, I can’t tell because it is amazing regardless. But just a buyer beware. Probably safer to buy elsewhere.
Q: Outfit recs for in-home newborn/family photo shoot in December?
A: Ooh! Love this as you can go so many different directions since you are indoors. I would probably pick a dress I really love and build the shoot around that. If I were having a girl, maybe I’d buy this dress for myself and have my little one in this beyond darling cashmere set ($75, WOW). Or if you’re more into a casual vibe, pair your favorite jeans with a statement sweater like this. Alternately, I feel like I would have loved the ease and airiness of this autumnal dress post-partum, with baby boy in a knit set like this or this. Husband would look amazing alongside any of these looks wearing a classic navy blazer and khakis, or — if going more casual — dark denim and a white oxford or camel sweater.
Q: Where can I buy cute hair bows for my four year old?
A: I love Wee Ones for solids and Belles Like Big Bows has some fun seasonal prints I buy now and then, too. If your little one is less into the big bow and prefers pigtails/ponytails, I also love this inexpensive pack of 40 when I’m doing those hair styles.
Q: What are your go-to weeknight dinners?
A: Some of our long-standing favorites are here, though I have to say Mr. Magpie has really upped his ante during COVID. Since he no longer has a commute, he’s been crazy ambitious in his cooking — and he does about 90% of it around here. I will say that when I’m on the hook for dinner, I lean heavily on America’s Test Kitchen cookbooks. I find the recipes are excellent, and they present American classics like beef tacos, lasagna, etc, in super approachable and clear writing.
Q: How would you celebrate being pregnant with our first child in the time of COVID?
A: Wow — congratulations! I know you must be awash with emotions. I have seen some people do socially-distanced baby showers and “drive-in” gender reveals (i.e., couple stands in lawn and releases balloons of one color or another). So clever! Where there is a will, there is a way. People will always celebrate life and the ones they love, so trust that they and you will find ways to make this season special. Honestly, a few of my favorite memories with my husband pre-baby are all completely doable in the age of COVID: long morning walks together with our dog; food adventures that took us an hour to drive to (you could do carry out and then eat in a park/back at home or even in your car); watching all of the Harry Potter movies in our basement; picking up to-go sundaes from Margie’s Candies (we lived in Chicago at the time).
A few plus sides to pregnancy in the COVID-era — easier to disguise that you aren’t drinking if you’re in your first trimester (ha!) and less pressure to go out when you don’t feel like it (basically the entirety of both my pregnancies).
Thinking of you, friend. Pregnancy is enough of an emotional roller coaster without this damned virus on top of it all.
A: I love the textured animal costumes from Princess Paradise — mini was this bee two years ago and I’m pretty sure micro will be inheriting that this fall. There is also a super cute lamb one and a sweet pig one. I love the loopy texture of these costumes — look so much cuter than a lot of the other velour/plush styles out there.
Q: I need a dress for a wedding in Aspen in two weeks. I forgot how to dress!
A: I actually think it might have snowed there earlier this week — yikes! Pack layers! A few wedding guest dresses I’m loving…
THIS LBD (ON CRAZY SALE FOR ONLY $115 WOW WOW WOW)
THIS PRINTED MAXI HAS AN AUTUMNAL FEEL TO IT I LOVE…AS DOES THIS, THANKS TO LONG SLEEVES
ASPEN TENDS TO BE ON THE MORE CASUAL SIDE IN GENERAL BUT DEPENDS OF COURSE ON THE WEDDING — SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM SEA WOULD BE AMAZING IF MORE OF A RANCH FEEL
A: I’m so flattered you’d ask me this. I feel like my parents are probably better suited to answer this after 35 years of marriage, but here are some of the things that really keep us connected:
1. Saying I love you multiple times a day.
2. Aligning our thoughts with one another every single night, often over dinner or a glass of wine. Sometimes it’s a free-form chat and other times, we march our way through a tick-list of action items (meal planning, what to buy so-and-so for a birthday, thoughts on how to ease drop-off with mini, etc — we call these “STPs” or “Shoop Talking Points”).
3. Giving one another the space and respect to continue to evolve and grow and pursue our own interests. I think one reason Mr. Magpie is so attractive to me is that he is deeply curious by nature, always burrowing deep into his own interests — many of which I frankly do not share. I think having separate pastimes is healthy and reminds me to step outside my little bubble and see him as the incredibly smart, passionate person he is.
And, as with any relationship, be kind. Offer the benefit of the doubt.
Q: Statement booties for fall? (I’m not crazy about the Paris Texas python ones, FYI.)
A: I am obsessed with these kitten heeled beauties from Talbots. I owned them last season and Talbots generously just sent me a new pair for this fall. I wore them constantly. Isabel Marant always does the coolest fall boots — wear these and instantly channel your inner Parisienne. For something sportier, I love these Ganni quilted “hiking” boots. Also love these versatile booties from Zara — the perfect height for tucking skinny jeans into — and of course you know I love these pearled ones from Nicholas Kirkwood.
Q: What are some fun Halloween traditions we can do given that trick or treating is canceled this year?
A: I have learned that surprise balloons / decor go a long way in making a toddler excited about just about anything. I will be hanging these bats on our walls (we did this the last two years, too) and maybe hanging BOO balloons or these cool spider ones.
Our tentative plan is to have my brother-in-law and sister over and to have trick or treating in different rooms of our apartment with different treats at each stop.
And then Emory LOVES the Charlie Brown pumpkin movie, which we played for her last Halloween and I anticipate we will also play for her this year.
Little things like dying cream cheese orange for bagels or decorating Halloween cookies with themed sprinkles also go a long away.
Q: Where should I buy charms for my necklace? (Under $75 please!)
A: Helen Ficalora has some fun options in that price range in sterling silver — I like the dog bone for my pup and the airplane would be a cool remembrance of a great trip. I also have had good luck hunting around Etsy if I’m seeking something specific, like the Eiffel tower to remember my favorite trip ever with my parents. The key to finding good stuff on Etsy? Look for strong reviews by previous buyers and also number of sales — if they’ve done thousands of transactions with 4.5 or 5 stars, you’re probably safe. If they accept returns, that’s another good sign that they’ll stand behind their products.
Happy hunting!
Q: What is the age difference between your children? Pros/cons?
A: Mini and micro are just over two years (26 months) apart. I don’t really have a point of comparison, so take what I have to say on this subject with a grain of salt, but two years felt like the right timing for us largely for selfish reasons — because I’d finally emerged from the haze of caring for a little baby, felt like I had a grasp on myself as a mother, and yet was still enough in the headspace of baby care that I felt it would be easy to snap back into place without having to re-learn anything (ha ha ha — how naive; there is nothing so humbling as a second child! That said, I did have a kind of muscle memory when it came to soothing, rocking, intuiting what steps to follow in a crying fest, etc). I don’t know how mothers with two under two (or less) do it, and my hat is off to you, permanently.
On a more general level, being one of five children and all of us around two years apart from one another, I also liked the age gap growing up — we were close enough in age to hang out and have mutual interests but far apart enough in age to have different friends and not feel as though we were competing for the same things.
I will say that for nearly 3.5 years, we have rarely gotten a full night of sleep. My hunch is that if you spaced your children out further, you might be able to get back into a normal sleep groove for at least a little stretch of time. (Or maybe you will just be better than I am at sleep training!) But babies and toddlers wake up a lot! And wake up early! And it is exhausting. We have been in a major sleep regression of sorts with both of our kids recently between teething and mini getting out of bed in the middle of the night and it is rough.
Q: Serveware recommendations? I’m hosting some people (finally!) and looking for some chic options.
A: I shared some of my absolute favorite serveware at the bottom of this post. (Ah, remember when we could entertain girlfriends on a whim?) In general, food always shows so beautifully against white dishes. I am drawn to pieces like this scalloped style from Crate and Barrel, these footed bowls (so fun to have different heights to add dimension to the sideboard/tablescape), this shallow bowl (it’s just asking for a big mound of spaghetti with meatballs!), and this footed compote (I’m imagining Thanksgiving sides served up here).
Finally, two items over $22, but I bought micro his first pair of Natives a few weeks ago in fire engine red (the best) and boys Lacoste long-sleeved polos are on sale for 40% off plus free shipping! Ordered in white and navy for fall.
P.S. I just finished listening to Ruth Reichl’s memoir — will probably write a longer review in an upcoming post on audiobooks, but had to say that I very much enjoyed this. I found it a little slow to start but the more you get to know Ruth, the more you love her. She is thoughtful, wide-eyed, down-to-earth, and absolutely spectacular when writing about food. There is nothing particularly dramatic or intense about the book: it is instead an artful recounting of her career at the helm of Gourmet magazine (RIP), and it touches on life lessons, leadership, and gratitude. But mainly, the food writing is excellent. More of what I’m reading and listening to here. What about you? Did you make your way through any of my summer reading picks?
This post is truly helter-skelter, but below, a list of my favorite products for my three-year-old: the hero-status items I lean on every single day.
+Re-Play Divided Plates. These are absolutely the best. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, unfussy and attractive in design, and the wells are deep enough to hold even liquids (like soups, or oatmeal, or cereal).
+Activity Trays. Very Montessori of me, but I use these trays all the time, even when just presenting mini with some dot markers and sheets to fill in, or organizing the components of a little project — just a contained little space to place all elements of an activity. But they’re also excellent for sensory play, just deep enough that they are ideal for creating sandscapes with kinetic sand, or pools of water for little animals to play in. I also have one permanently filled with a mountain of crayons that we use close to daily in these parts. These trays are sturdy and easy to clean. Love.
+iPad Holder (seen above). Mini gets iPad time most days (now with school back in session we actually find we skip this most school days), and this sturdy silicon holder has prevented her from destroying the iPad (dropping, throwing, etc.). It also stands upright on a surface, so great for planes / tabletop use.
+Crayola Dropz. Mini is occasionally resistant at bath time, and this under-$4 snag has saved me countless times by giving her some measure of control over bath time. Once she starts dragging her feet, I ask her “do you want to put dropz in the water, or bubbles, or nothing?” And she usually perks right up with the option of dying her bath tub fun colors.
+Micro Kickboard Scooter. The go-to for Manhattan parents — these are all over the city, and with good reason. They are perfectly designed for small children and the handles are adjustable so the board can grow with your little one. We see children as young as just under two using them! They are essential when walking somewhere that’s just a little too far for little feet, but not far enough to necessitate the Subway/a taxi.
+Bugaboo Ride Along Board. Another brilliant product for city parents: we attach this to the back of our stroller so mini can sit (or stand) when she’s too tired to walk. It took us a couple of months for her to accept this — she used to jump off all the time. But just when she turned three, she started to love it. It does make the stroller a little bit more awkward to push and you kind of have to walk to the side while it’s deployed, but it also does fold up / can be removed when not in use.
+Camelbak Water Bottles. These have been our favorite water bottles for Emory since she was about two — she “got” how to drink out of them very quickly, they hold a lot of water, and they wash nicely. I also like the whimsical designs. Perhaps most importantly, they do not spill when “closed,” so mini usually takes one to bed with her.
+Sunbutter. Mini’s favorite lunch is peanut butter and jelly. I have to work hard at keeping it to only once or twice a week — she’d eat it every day if she had her druthers! Like most schools, mini’s is a nut-free environment, so was relieved to discover sunbutter tastes similar but has no nuts.
+California Baby Detangler. I love this lavender-scented mist, which detangles but also seems to condition mini’s hair. I first got hooked on it the summer she took swimming lessons and went to the pool/beach a few times. It was so good for her hair post-swim. We’ve been in love ever since.
+Mason Pearson Child’s Brush. Somehow both gentle and incredibly effective. I remember when I was growing up, my mom had a few brushes, and we all begged her to use “the soft brush,” which was roughly the equivalent of using a soft washcloth to brush our hair — aka, it did nothing. I vowed not to fall into that trap and invested in one good brush thus pre-empting the inevitable fight over the brush / the softness of the bristles / etc. We’ll use this one until she leaves for college — ha. I also swear by these cheap
+Goody Elastics and Hair Clips. Can you tell we spend a lot of time doing hair around here? Ha. I feel like I’m forever re-tying her hair — she’s at such a busy age and it’s a battle to keep it out of her face. I honestly prefer the tiny latex elastics as they hold hair so much more tightly but they always break her hair, so I try to stick to these, which are must gentler and less likely to get caught in hair. And the hair clips? Yes, a little bit reminiscent of my obsession with the 90s US Olympic gymnasts, but they really keep her hair out of her face.
+Wee Ones Bows. Really high quality and love that many of them are available via Prime, aka when you need a coordinating bow and FAST. She also wears two braids or two pigtails frequently, and in that case, I love these super cheap little bows. Inferior quality to Wee Ones, but they’re the perfect size for pigtails and they come in good colors (mauve and mint are amazing).
+Bitsy’s Brain Food Cookies. Mini is a fairly picky eater. She does eat from all the food groups every day and there are several vegetables she loves (cucumber, carrots, peas, broccoli, and green beans), so I am trying to just push through this phase without getting too worked up about it, but it does drive me crazy when she will insist she “doesn’t like” something without ever having tried it. Or, worse, when she’s had it before and liked it. Anyway, I am all for any shortcuts to introducing extra vegetables into her diet, and she loves these cookies, which are packed with stuff like beets, sweet potato, and zucchini — aka things I have failed at cajoling her into trying in other formats.
+Native Shoes. I’m pretty sure every parent loves these shoes. Blissfully easy to keep clean (literally just hose ’em down), all-terrain (aka can traipse through splashpads and puddles), and easy for mini to pull on herself. Just perfect.
+Petite Plume Nightgowns. Mini has been in a nightgown phase since she was around two and change and what a delight! Not only are they precious, but they are easier to put on at the end of the day (does anyone else spend a good five or six minutes chasing her child around, begging her to step into her pajama pants and wriggle into the top? Just me?) AND they last so much longer than pajamas in the sense that mini still has a few nightgowns sized 2T that she can squeeze into! And her current size 4T will probably last another year, too. The Petite Plume brand makes the most darling designs and they are extremely well-made.
+Silicon Cloud Mat. I originally bought these to use when out at restaurants but we actually use them at every single meal time. So easy to clean her spot after dinner.
We emerged from the Queens Midtown Tunnel after two days of driving and two months of frenetic activity preparing for a cross-country move with an infant, a 60-pound dog, and the emotional strain of shuttering the business we had built together and selling the house we had bought on our own. It was nightfall, and after the submerged white noise and claustrophobia of the tunnel and the hours of rolling Pennsylvania country side before it, Manhattan was a shock. Buildings shot up around us, miniaturizing us on our uptown pilgrimage. The streets were dotted through with lights and signs of life: footfall, yells, figures jaywalking across the blare of headlights, the scent of street cart gyros. I lingered somewhere between fear and relief: we had made it. But I wasn’t sure what “it” entailed.
How will this ever feel like home? I wondered as Mr. Magpie navigated his way up 8th Avenue. Even from inside the familiar pod of our car, fumbling to calm the familiar cries of my travel-wearied eight-month-old baby, New York appeared inhospitable: all sidewalk and bluster, movement and know-how. And yet just beyond my intimidation, I felt a shiver of excitement.
Have you ever seen New York City at night?
She’s the height of glamor and promise. The garishness and no-nonsense of daytime recede and the city runs electric with sophistication and possibility. She is slick and resplendent and — there is no other way to say it — impossibly cool in a distinctively American way.
I felt that then and I feel that now, three years into living here, and six months into living through a pandemic amongst its shadows and concrete. She still moves at night.
A reader once wrote that it takes ten years to officially become a New Yorker. That’s probably true. Do tenured Manhattanites still feel awestruck by the shape of the city under stars? Does she still provoke and intimidate and overwhelm even a decade into living here? Because I still stare blinkingly at the towering cityscape while rounding The Pond on the Southeast corner of Central Park. There is a building being erected down there, on 57th Street, that is so horrifyingly tall and jarringly blue that its sight transports me into a fantasy world and I feel as though it is simply not possible that I live here, that I call this cluster of ambition and dream a home. And sometimes — even on the well-worn paths I take to walk my dog and ferry my children to Central Park, even when I know which corners to avoid and which lights will be red based on the speed of my footfall — I feel myself float outside my body and I stare back at the 36-year-old mother-of-two walking quickly with her stroller and air of unimpressed purpose and I think, “What must it be like to live in New York?”
I used to ask this to myself when I visited my sister here in my 20s and could not wrap my head around the narrow four-story ascent her walk-up commanded of her multiple times a day, or the couple hundred square feet in which she lived. “Where do you keep your pots and pans?” I asked, bewildered, eyeing the Bunson-burner-like cooktop on the counter. “You mean pot and pan,” she returned, gesturing to the tiny stack on top of her narrow refrigerator. “There aren’t many plurals when you’re living in New York.” And I felt — in her unperturbed acceptance of this condition of city living — rube-like and unbecoming.
Yes, what must it be like to live here? I would wonder when we would walk through Central Park with the leaves just-turning and the light just-hitting and I could barely suppress my swooning interjections: “I can’t believe this is real and that you live on this movie set of a scene.” And then again when she would insist we take the Subway against my cringing protestations, and would remain entirely unphased by its grit and stink and occasional unseemliness. And when she would tuck us into a tiny ramen spot, dodging rainfall, and we would wait for an unbearable hour for a table, elbow-jockeying for space among unperturbable New Yorkers, and then slurp up the most outrageously delicious and satisfying broth I’d ever tasted in my life. And when I would spy on mothers my age corralling their toddlers down the sidewalks, or depositing their school-age children in the narrow apertures of intimidating stone buildings on bustling streets, or toting yoga mats under their arms as they scurried off to exercise, blase and busy. And when I would watch the city fly by through the window of a taxi cab, and feel the rush of her air in my hair and find myself stirred by her flashiness and elegance all at once.
“We live in New York City?!” Mr. Magpie and I will occasionally ask one another, a propos of nothing, mystified by how we got here and how we live here. We aren’t really New York types, I don’t think. I am too sensitive and he is too decorous. We are better suited to a suburban kind of lifestyle: quiet and manicured, far from the maddening crowd.
But we do live here. And I still haven’t worked out what it is like, three years in. Even though living through the pandemic has thrown a wrench into that reckoning — leaving me, strangely, missing the city in which I apparently reside — I still find myself awestruck by her in all the same ways I was when I first emerged from the Midtown Queens Tunnel three Septembers ago:
+I’d forgotten about this little piece I wrote about New York by night — a different take on its majesty. That’s the funny thing about New York: she is full of contradictions. I know the exact sensation I was writing into submission in this post, while walking Tilly down by Columbus Circle. That corner of the city feels comfortable to me because it was the first place I ever lived here. But she still feels like a shock.
+If you are looking to make a handbag investment and want to know what’s cool in these parts, two words: Bottega Veneta. I’m drooling over this, which is so downtown Manhattan I wouldn’t even recognize myself wearing it. Also comes in an even larger, flashier size.
+The pick-up line uniform for moms at mini’s downtown school: Birkenstocks and a designer crossbody. I stick out like a sore thumb because I wear sundresses most days, but I am unabashedly conforming by buying a pair of these clog boots, de rigueur amongst the moms there, as the cool weather settles. They are practical and chic!
+I’m actually dead over this shearling coat. It is OUTRAGEOUSLY chic. It’s pricey at $500 but it seriously looks like it could be Burberry or something well north of $2K. I will be eyeing this carefully for a discount.
+OK, THIS DRESS?! What! Like a Givenchy or something. Where can I wear this?! Oh my gosh, fall fashion is really making me excited.
Just a quick note to say that many of the Labor Day sales (which were awesome this year, no?) are wrapping up tonight if they haven’t gone already — and a few of my favorite scores still available:
1 // This cableknit throw was handily the most popular item on my blog last week, and is currently on sale plus free shipping with code SAVEMORE.
2 // Hadn’t realized Todd Snyder — Mr. Magpie’s favorite outfitter — is running an extra 30% off sale with code LABORDAY30 until this morning. I bought him another pair of these twill pants (only like $30 with code — what?!) and he already owns this striped cashmere blend sweater, which is now around $40 (!)
2 // These blockprint jammies, on sale for 40% off plus an extra 10% off with code BYESUMMER. I absolutely love J. Crew’s “dreamy” fabric — it is second-skin and SO soft.
3 // Veronica Beard griffin loafers — no longer eligible for the extra 20% off sale in the croc colorway I bought, but still an insane deal at $105 (down from $350). The quality is CRAZY for the price. So much so that I am contemplating buying a second pair in the leopard print, on sale for only $79 in most sizes, and I wish I’d snagged the python ($75, only one size left).
4 // My beloved brass sconces (currently flank our TV / media console in our living room) are at a great discount — a pair for $110 with code SAVEMORE.
5 // Some of my favorite pieces from CPC Kids and Busy Bees are 30-50% off at Maisonette. Such a good time to buy to stock up for next summer. I adore this classic dress (mini has owned in multiple patterns), this boy’s romper (Hill has owned this exact stripe in several sizes already), and I just got Hill this late-summer shortall set. I’m trying to focus on fall clothes but he has run through so many pairs of clothes and I need a little fresh piece to get us through to cold weather. Hill also has several pairs of these corduroy overalls for fall!
My commitment to exercise has been spotty at best for the past two years, since becoming pregnant with Hill. I have not been able to get into a routine that I can stick with, as I consistently prioritize other things in this busy season of life. I’ve been making peace with that reality, but wanted to be honest about it here: I do not have it all together in this regard (and in many other regards, come to think of it)! I exercise when I can and try to enjoy focusing on other things when I can’t. I know I’ll find my way back into a routine at some point in the next few years. I’m too vain not to. (Ha!)
Chic athletic clothes make it easier to clip back in to my running regimen from time to time though…below, a few recent finds that have motivated a delinquent return to fitness:
JUST ORDERED THESE LEGGINGS IN THE LAVENDER SMOKE — PEOPLE ARE OBSESSED WITH HOW FLATTERING THESE ARE
ORDERED A HANDFUL OF THESE LOOSE-FIT TANKS ($12?!?!? AND COME IN GREAT COLORS) — I PREFER TO RUN IN LOOSER FIT TOPS LIKE THESE; WISH THEY WEREN’T SOLD OUT IN THE LONG-SLEEVED STYLE IN MY SIZE
BALA WRIST WEIGHTS (THESE SELL OUT CONSTANTLY — CURRENTLY 25% OFF WITH CODE HURRY25; MORE HERE; IF SOLD OUT BY THE TIME THIS POST GOES LIVE, TRY THESE SIMILAR ONES ON AMAZON)
This month’s woman of substance is the lovely Julia Webb, founder and CEO of Mommy Wipes, the clever and helpful individually-wrapped stain cleaning wipes that I’ve mentioned several times on the blog over the past few months and that now have a permanent place in my diaper bag. I love featuring strong female entrepreneurs of all stripes but I have to say I was particularly motivated to track Julia down because I could tell that hers was a product built by a mother looking for a better (more convenient, safer!) solution, and what is more inspiring than a woman who sees a problem, takes matters into her own hands, and creates something new?
Julia’s founding story did not surprise me in this regard: “One day I was complaining that I couldn’t stay clean for two minutes while around my kids,” she explained, “and my husband said, ‘You should create a wipe for that.’ And I thought it was a great idea. After fighting my fears I set out to find a manufacturer to help me develop Mommy Wipes.”
“Between food flying, drinks spilling, makeup smearing, and infants spitting up,” she explained, “a parent’s clothes are destined to attract stains.”
I can say from first-hand experience that Julia’s wipes are excellent to keep on hand for the inevitable spill or smear while outside of the home. They also work well on stroller seats and infant carriers — mine are always a mess between sunscreen and snacks and these enable me to clean up even difficult-to-launder materials/products.
Below, get to know Julia a little bit better by reading her inspiring answers to my Proust Questionnaire:
Your favorite qualities in a woman. Strength, feminism, and empathy. I admire women who aren’t afraid to show their strength, women who support and uplift other women, and women who are grounded and empathetic.
Your favorite heroine. Tamika Mallory. She’s so courageous and I really respect her tenacity for social justice.
Your main fault. Being too humble. One thing I constantly hear that women do — and I’m guilty of it, too — is that we sometimes downplay our achievements, experience, or accolades. A year ago, I saw a quote that read “stop shrinking yourself to make others feel big.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been shrinking myself so others wouldn’t feel intimidated or perceive me as a “know it all” or “arrogant.” However, I now realize that I can be bold and confident — characteristics that do not equate with being boastful or insensitive.
Your greatest strength. Perseverance.
Your idea of happiness. Spending time with my children while traveling scenic destinations.
Your idea of misery. Lately, I have been so distraught by the unlawful killings of Black Americans that I haven’t watched the news. I’m an avid cable news viewer and I’ve been staying away from social media–not because I want to, but because I’ve been feeling a deep pain that’s sticking with me a lot more than ever before and all I can do to cope with the anguish is close my eyes from the unfortunate reality.
Currently at the top of your shopping lust list. Patio decor and Mixtiles.
Desert island beauty product. Undefined Glow Gelee. I love it. I have sensitive skin, so when I find a product that doesn’t break me out, I’m obsessed!
Last thing you bought. Cinnamon and vanilla extract.
I feel most empowered wearing… Earrings and red lipstick.
Channel Julia’s stylish, practical motherhood vibe by shopping any of the Julia-inspired finds below (click images or see notes below for product details).
