CPC Kids is back on Zulily — run! I stocked micro’s winter wardrobe with adorable overalls (some plain and some embroidered — note that these run a little big) and mini’s wardrobe for next summer with my favorite shorts (also got her these — I feel this style of shorts run just a tad small) the last time they ran this promotion and cannot believe the amount of clothing I got for around $100. This time around, I’m stocking up on more basics, like long-sleeved polos and turtlenecks for micro and peter pan collar polos for mini (these are so well-made — beautiful, thick cotton that lasts forever). Their Maddie dress is also absolutely darling for picture day!
Last week, I asked over Instastories: what are you shopping for? And I had so much fun answering half of them in last week’s post. The rest are below. Feel free to DM me or email me any time with your shopping searches…
A good transitional shoe for fall. Honestly, I’ve been getting so much wear out of my Gucci Princetown mules. They are absolutely perfect for throwing on with jeans and a sweater and maybe a light coat. I bought them maybe five years ago and wasn’t sure if the trend would majorly peter out, but they’ve proven to be a worthy investment. As seen above, I bet the classic loafer (<<this specific style has a collapsible heel so can be worn as either a mule or loafer! BRILLIANT) would be an even better bet — they’ll never go out of style, and I am super impressed with the quality of Gucci footwear. I have a few pairs and they look good as new several years in.
Fun top for a bachelorette weekend. Love this bow-shouldered blouse in white, pink, or red with some great jeans and high heels. Perfection for the occasion! Alternately, this dramatic top with a top knot and high-waisted denim, and this inexpensive top could look MAJOR with pearl accessories. Lastly, I have been positively lusting after this top with no possible justification for purchase. Would look unreal with light-wash denim.
Boy nursery rugs. I’m obsessed with Mark D. Sikes’ Mirada rug in wheat or navy. More of my favorite rugs here and more recent nursery finds here.
New coasters. Jonathan Adlers has the coolest, funkiest sets — love these. These marble ones are also classic.
Casual bootie mules under $150. If you are into the on-trend clog this season, these are minimalist chic and under $100. Beyond that, I prefer the flat mules like these, which are CHIC.
Birthday gift for my 31 year old husband. Happy birthday to him! Some great gift ideas for guys here. I think I can speak for Mr. Magpie that some of the best gifts I’ve given him recently have been clothing he never knew he always wanted: a pair of green olive Vejas, these cloudknit joggers, supersoft boxers, and Garrett Leigh sunglasses.
Dog leash/harness. I like the patterned, monogrammable collar and lead from Mark and Graham. Tilly currently wears their blue gingham style. We clip the lead to one of these highly-rated Kurgo harnesses because Tilly is strong (60 lbs of muscle) and a ratter by instinct, so walking the NYC streets at night (when rats abound…) would be a nightmare without the control it offers. I also love the style of these roped leashes from Foggy Dog!
A fall-feeling flowy midi/maxi dress for outdoor family photos, six months post-partum. Help! In love with this dress, which could be worn with suede boots. This maxi with brown suede boots could also be amazing with the right color palette and I’m all aboard with all things Ulla.
Fall family photos — for the whole family. Mom, dad, 3-year-old girl, and 18-month old boy. Into blue and white at the moment. This for you, this for her, this for baby boy (with other a peter pan collar bodysuit or a top like this, depending on your style), blue blazer and trousers for your husband.
The perfect white dropped stitch mid-weight sweater. Does not exist? I had a hard time finding this. This style gets you a lot of the way there.
Coffee tables that are kid-friendly. The kid-friendliest would be one without sharp edges — aka, an ottoman style. These ones are so fun with the clover shape, and the ones with tassel trim are so extra. Dark colors are better than white when it comes to children…and I also love this tufted style from CB2 (and if the tufts aren’t your style, try this, which comes in interesting colors). Second best? A round coffee table like this.
Casual fall cross body — loved the Bottega you featured but it’s a splurge. Amazing fall bags here.
A dress for a bridal shower being held at a winery. I’m MOH. I’m in love with this dramatic dress. This is also really pretty.
Jeans for short people! I get all of my jeans hemmed — it’s the only way to get the best brands. And I swear by J. Brand.
First sippy cup for my six month old. Oh gosh — every baby is so different, I have learned. I gave both of my babies this learner cup from Philips Avent first because it is most similar to a bottle. But mini loved these and micro has only ever drunk water out of these, which I originally bought to use at mini’s birthday party (so I could pour milk and water out and let kids leave with them if they wanted) despite the fact that I have presented him with no less than ten alternatives! Maybe buy a handful of different styles and see what sticks. When transitioning from bottle to milk sippy cup, we found the Nuk was the best. For some reason, it wasn’t too hard to get the children to drink water out of different cups but when it came to weaning off the bottle for milk, things got stickier. Nuk was our best option for mini.
Oversized white or cream button up.J. Crew’s boy shirt is slim-fit but long, which I like. I’ve sized up and worn as a beach cover up. Alternately: this from Everlane, or this tiered poplin steal from Topshop for something more styled.
Sofa for living room. I think Pottery Barn does great sofas at reasonable prices for high-traffic areas that have both style and comfort. Love this one. We splurged on our sofa and I kind of regret it — it’s lasted, but we cringe at how much our children and dog have destroyed it over time. I think if I could do it over I would get something from PB and update over time with designer pillows like these or these.
Twin bed frame for my daughter. I love the idea of something whimsical but mature enough to carry into teen years, like this or this.
Flat booties. I feel like most of the styles out there are either Western or chunky and I’m not crazy about either for myself — I prefer something streamlined. I’m obsessed with these Kirkwoods and these simple ones from Talbots, too.
“Lola looks like one of the cherubs,” Miller whispered to Lee, gesturing over to the enormous religious mural in the stained-glass-windowed chapel we were sitting in, the floors around us a mosaic of refracted red and gold and blue. They laughed, and so did I — because Lola did, with her rosy complexion and angelic face, resemble a Rubens angel — and then immediately blushed, because I had been eavesdropping on their conversation and my unfiltered giggle had given me away. Miller turned and gave me a half smile. I couldn’t tell whether it was an invitation or a rebuff.
It was my second day at Georgetown Visitation, an all-girls Catholic high school in Washington, D.C., and I had passed the first as a wallflower. I had nervously busied myself with my locker in between classes and, after a quick and awkward lunch with girls I was too shy to talk to, walked slowly up the hill towards Saint Jo’s Hall about twenty minutes in advance of my afternoon mathematics class. I was brightly aware of my solitude. I had lied and told my mother that the first day had been “great!” — an equivocation I am certain she saw through as she silently glanced at me over the steering wheel with the generous and affectionate kind of understanding only a mother can have for her daughter, on the car ride home. Later that night, in my blue-carpeted, chintz-bedspreaded childhood bedroom, I had stared at myself in the rectangular mirror hung on the inside of my closet door and commanded myself: “Come on, Jen. You can do this. You will talk to people tomorrow.”
In the Chapel the following morning, I had been grateful for the hush. It was a break from the exhausting social contortions I had been maneuvering since 8:10 a.m., when I had willed myself to say good morning to my locker mates, and then to meekly introduce myself to my seat mate in homeroom, and then to ambitiously trot alongside a classmate who had unfolded her class schedule as the bell rang and asked whether I, too, was heading to “Founder’s” (the “Hall” elided from the name in a shorthand I immediately appropriated) next, which I took as an invitation for companionship. While I enthusiastically nodded my head, I noticed she had highlighted squares in her schedule and written in bubbly penmanship “FREE!” to indicate a free period, a practice I then noticed among other classmates and quickly adopted myself, eager to conform with the local ways and to preoccupy myself with something other than my own burning self-awareness during the chatter before class began.
Where did they learn these things, like highlighting free periods in their schedules? I wondered. Older sisters? I had only an older brother who attended an all-boys school, which might explain why I was equally perplexed by the non-uniform uniform so many of them were wearing those first few days of school, which had been designated “free dress days” by the administration, meaning that our school-issued kilts could be set aside in favor of “street clothes.” Yet nearly all of the cool girls — and, of course, it was easy to tell who they were — wore the same thing: short, chino-material shorts in khaki or nantucket red, faded polos — collars flipped up — with alligators or polo players embroidered on the chest, and flip flops. I felt horrifically out of place in the denim skirts and striped baby tees I had selected for those maiden days at my new school. It was immediately clear to me that these girls shopped at J. Crew and Ralph Lauren — not Limited, Too, as had been in vogue at my grade school.
I had been spirited by the reactions of my classmates that morning, though: every interaction had been returned warmly, often airily — in a way that made me feel that my interjection had appeared casual — and usually with a smile. But I was also relieved for the forced quiet of Chapel, where I could relax into my own thoughts. That is, until I found myself sitting alongside three of the prettiest, coolest girls in my class, unwittingly laughing along at their inside jokes. After Miller’s half-smile in my direction, I willed myself to stare at the priest, who was delivering a sermon at the front of the chapel. I strained to remain impassive to the whispering conversation to my right, though I was, of course, wholly dialed in on it.
Just then, one of the teachers leaned over our pew and shushed us sternly, and I felt as though her eyes lingered accusatively on me. All three of my pew mates stiffened, then squirmed, then smirked as soon as she’d left, and I blanched at the thought that I might be in trouble. But then Miller elbowed me and said, loud enough for multiple rows around us to hear:
“Geez, Nurmi, keep it down.” She grinned warmly at me and all of the girls in my pew and a few in the one ahead turned their heads toward me and giggled and I knew immediately that this was the kind of gentle ribbing of the initiated, and I felt elated. I was shocked that Miller knew my last name and thrilled at the thought that some of my classmates might unknowingly assume us to be friends, having observed the casual exchange from a few pews back. As we filed out of the chapel after Mass, I held open the door for her with my elbow as the classmate in front of me had done and she smiled and said: “Thanks, Nurms!” and it is hard to overstate my glee at having a nickname — however unbecoming — coined on my behalf by Miller Galliway on the second day of school.
I think back on my ill-at-ease, fourteen-year-old self, at my outsized and breathless desire to fit in and be liked, and I linger between a cringe and a coddle. I want to tell myself “relax, girl!”, but I’m admittedly impressed — even now, at 36 — by my determination to power through my inborn reserve by reaching out to my classmates when the stakes felt so unbearably high. And I am tender-hearted at my own flailings. I see in them the occasional shyness of my own daughter, who just this past weekend climbed to the top of the jungle gym at the playground and then stood, patiently, her Mary Janes rocking back and forth in balance on the top rung, to wait for a pack of rowdy older girls to clear the area before stepping onto the planks and running across the little bridge with private glee. I wanted to throw my arms around her because I saw a mirage of myself as a child, wide-eyed and quiet and often too-patient for the undeserving.
I am also — and this has never left me — still grateful for Miller’s still-unexpected affability. We never became close friends, but, as with most of my Visitation classmates (actual Visitation grads never refer to themselves as “visigirls,” a nickname other schools in the area gave us and that we, for reasons never articulated but intuitively grasped, spurned), we maintained a warm collegiality that has extended into our thirties, where we occasionally like one another’s photographs on Instagram or read, with interest, about one another’s whereabouts, children, and achievements in the Class Notes section of the alumni magazine from our alma mater.
I think back and note how easy it would have been for Miller to say nothing at all to the wide-eyed, non-polo-wearing, denim-skirted waif to her left. How natural it would have been for her to just nod in thanks at my propping open the door for her. And I am thankful for her shrugging confidence — or, perhaps, her determined show of composure and joviality. Because it is hard for me to believe that any girl at fourteen does not stare into the rectangular mirror tacked to the inside of her closet door and say to herself on the eve of her first day of school: “Come on, girl. You can do this.”
******
Written while thinking about girls (no matter the age) everywhere trying something new or bearing the brunt of outsidership, to whom I want to say: “Come on, girl. You can do this.“
Names in the remembrance above have been changed to protect privacy, as I’m not sure any of us want to be publicly remembered for things we did or did not do at the age of fourteen. (Except for my own — my maiden name is Nurmi, an inheritance from my Finnish grandfather.)
+Now is the time to get organized for a special Halloween for little ones. Mini has decided she wants to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid (currently on the hunt for a cute costume — any recs?), and micro will therefore be Sebastian the Crab (er, lobster…). Mini has also informed me that I will be Ursula (…) so I guess I’ll half-ass it with this, and that Mr. Magpie will be King Triton and I am really hoping I can convince him to go all in with this wig and this trident and crown set.
+Stocking up on little surprises for upcoming car trips / cold weather weekends for mini: this magnetic set looks right up her alley and this looks like Hill’s dream (possibly my nightmare). I am usually into slow burn toys that promote imaginative play but that boy loves things that light up. (He plays with this little piano every single day for surprisingly long stretches.) To be fair, he also loves a lot of open-ended toys like these animal magnets and these blocks, which he lines up very carefully on the railing of his crib.
+These pouches are the kind of things I love to have on hand for a million potential purposes. Most recently, I’ve started stocking mini’s backpack with hand sanitizer, spare mask, alcohol wipes to clean her school face shield, and eye glass wipes for her glasses. This is the perfect pouch for such on-the-go essentials.
Mine actually starts at 7:30 a.m., when Mr. Magpie or I (we take turns “sleeping in” until 7:15 a.m.) make our bed as a gift to our future selves, as we know we will want to pour ourselves into a tidily-made bed come 9 p.m.
But the official kickoff is at 8:30 p.m., when I tune into my audiobook while cleaning the kitchen and packing mini’s lunch. Even though I’m technically still fussing with housework, the audiobook shifts me into bedtime mode, and I begin to feel the daytime frenzy of getting things done dissipate into stardust. Sometimes I linger by the window, looking out over the brownstones on the Upper West Side while finishing the dregs of a glass of wine or listening, intently, to the last few pages of a compelling chapter. It is so relaxing that Mr. Magpie has to remind me to switch on the dishwasher, as I have routinely forgotten to do so on the nights when he finds me staring dreamily out the window in this way.
Climbing into my well-made bed is — next to the enthusiastic hug from mini the moment she sprints through the door after school — a consistent highlight of my day. (Is that sad to admit?) We currently have it made up with Boll & Branch embroidered link sheets (generously gifted and seen above), which are just about the softest sheets I’ve ever slept on. They are satiny-cool and Mr. Magpie insists that they are better at maintaining the perfect temperature in our bed. I also love the embroidered detail, which ties in perfectly with my embellished Serena and Lily shams. We also have a set of Boll & Branch’s plain white hemmed euro shams behind them. We have a Restoration Hardware gray quilted coverlet that I accidentally laundered on too high of a heat and that now gives us the biggest headache on a daily basis as it is just barely tuckable. Now that I’ve fallen in love with Boll & Branch’s sheeting, I think I might switch that coverlet out for their soft waffle blanket,* which people go crazy over. Finally, we have a Hill House duvet cover over a fancy Feathered Friends down comforter, which I cannot rave about enough. For sure worth the investment — it is like sleeping swaddled in clouds and Mr. Magpie and I have long held the opinion that bedding/mattresses/bed frames are worth the splurge because you spend so much time in bed! (Cost per use and all that…) This is also why we invested in our S&L headboard about five or six years ago and still love it to this day.
While we’re deep in the weeds on the anatomy of a well-made bed, let me also share that these memory foam pillows* are life-changing (stay cold, keep their shape, reduce husband snoring!) and that if you go with a European pillow size (26×26) for decorative purposes (which is what we have), fill with a pillow that is 2″ up in size, so 28×28. Trust me. This is a secret to interior decorating I did not know for a big chunk of my 20s, when I routinely wondered why my pillows looked so sad and deflated. This trick holds true for cushions on a sofa, too — if you buy, say, an 18×18″ pillow sham, buy a 20×20″ pillow to fill it. It will fit and it will look amazing. I don’t spend a lot of money on the fillers for the Euro shams on our bed since we don’t actually sleep on them (just toss them off before bed) and they are more there for decoration. These inexpensive ones do the trick just fine. Lastly, I bought one of these box spring covers one or two years ago because we started rolling up the comforter at the foot of the bed rather than covering the bed with it and suddenly you could see the unseemly boxspring! It is an inexpensive way to create a more polished look in your bedroom, but I will say it makes tucking the sheets in a little trickier since you’re contending with a layer of fabric that wasn’t there before. But, still totally doable and IMHO worth it because little things like an exposed boxspring drive me crazy. Oh! One other note: in between launderings, I keep our sheets, shams, and duvet cover in shape by using The Laundress’s Crease Release, which helps with wrinkles and also lightly perfumes them.
Once in bed, I put 8 Hour cream on my lips and La Roche Posay’s foot cream on my feet (<<tragically discontinued — SOB! — but they recommend this as a substitute, which I will ploddingly submit to once I’ve finished my last tube) and either read a book or turn on the TV. I know most sleep experts would scold me for that, but I find it relaxing to fall asleep to a TV show — I am currently knee-deep in Sweet Magnolias on Netflix, which is horrible in a good kind of way (stagey, cheesy, and just what I want before bed — I’d liken it to Hart of Dixie) and the kind of thing you can drift into and out of without a problem.
The last things I do? Say “I love you” to Mr. Magpie (who will usually say, hilariously, “Bye!” right before he’s about to fall asleep — ha! He’ll just shout it out from his side of the bed as he drifts into la la land), turn out all of the lights in the house using my Philips Hue app (I’m sorry if you’re tired of hearing me talk about the wonder of Philips Hue lightbulbs* — we are evangelical in this house), and say a quick prayer.
What about you? How do you ease your way into sleep?
*I asterisked some items in this post that would make incredible gifts for the holidays, as several of you have asked for creative gifts for loved ones as we head towards the festive season. I love love LOVE to give products like these that are useful around the home but slightly luxurious.
P.P.P.S. Have you been watching The Home Edit on Netflix? If you are, you will understand why I need these. If they are good enough for Reese’s filmography paraphernalia, they’re good enough for me. Ha! 🙂
By: Jen Shoop
Oh my gosh, I know it is way too early to be thinking about Christmas, but Target just released the most gorgeous gift wrap collection with Sugar Paper–and a lot of it is in my signature dusty Magpie blue! I am swooning over their blue velvet ribbon, scalloped tissue paper, striped wrapping paper, and stunning gift boxes (also great for keepsake storage / closet organization!). I mean WOW — these round boxes, too!
Now is the time to stock up on everyone’s favorite tinted moisturizer, while it’s on rare discount — 20% off sitewide, or 30% off if you spend over $150 (plus free shipping on orders over $35!). No code needed. Two other LM products I adore: their eye basics eye primer (I often use it in lieu of eye shadow, as I mentioned in my recent rundown of my everyday skincare and makeup) and their eye shadows, which I love both in powder (especially the ultra-pretty and eye-brightening but not shimmery “Morning Dew” color) and “caviar stick” formats.
Also worth checking out: Tory Burch’s current season is on sale for 25% off orders over $200 and 30% off orders over $500 with code FALL. If you’ve been waiting to pull the trigger on one of her gorgeous Lee bags (also love this one), which are hard to score on sale, now is a good time to invest. Personally, I’m in major sweater-buying mode and am drooling over this longline cardigan. So chic! And, of course, her crazy chic tie dye leggings…!
P.P.S. Also sure to sell out: this sherpa one-piece for baby boys, currently around $16 with coupon code. Ordered it for micro as I find Old Navy runs a little generous in pieces like this. So Patagonia and a great option for upcoming chilly days!
“A year ago, I saw a quote that read ‘Stop shrinking yourself to make others feel big.’ That hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been shrinking myself so others wouldn’t feel intimidated or perceive me as a ‘know it all’ or ‘arrogant.'”
I think that many women underestimate or downplay their abilities and achievements. In my own experience, this “self-shrinking” goes hand in hand with the imposter syndrome I battled in my early 20s, when I was afraid that if I admitted that (or acted as if) I was succeeding at something, someone else would say: “Um, no you’re not.” As a corollary, for a long while, I found it very difficult to accept a compliment, nearly always wanting to qualify or shush or deflect, which, my younger sister pointed out rather frankly one afternoon, was neither a good look nor a kindness to the issuer. Only with considerable effort have I learned to say: “Thank you” and then bite my tongue. It’s taken even more willpower to issue that thank you with the heartfelt-ness I always secretly feel (who doesn’t love an earnest compliment?!) by willing myself to make eye contact with the issuer, smile, and let the “thank you” hang out there, unqualified, for a beat, before changing the subject. (Try it next time — see how you fare!)
At any rate, today, I’m challenging you to fill in the blank:
I am really good at ___________.
Please share in the comments! I’ll start:
I am really good at listening, writing, and logistics.*
Your turn!
*I wish I could claim I was good at piano, as the photo above insinuates, but alas – – despite years of private lessons, I am woefully out of practice.
+What pants/denim are you wearing this fall? Are you trying anything new? I am ordering a few new shapes to try that are a little out of my comfort zone, like the J. Brand’s I mentioned last week, Trave’s Constance Straight Tapered, either Everlane’s cropped wide legs or Gap’s, and I’m very curious about these ones from Something Navy, which are very Ulla-esque, but at a better pricepoint. Can’t tell if I’ll look ridiculous in them…I’m usually more traditional!
+Related to above: my sister ordered these paper bag waist pants in the cream color I’m inspired to try new shapes, too…maybe this is a good fit for me?
Are you into the shacket (shirt + jacket) statement that’s happening right now? It’s a little edgy for me, but in a way that makes me want to give it a try by polishing it up with some pointed toe boots or those gorgeous pearled Kirkwoods I’m eyeing and marching around the UWS. (Wearing this in Soho or anywhere downtown, the shacket is probably already old news. Ha. See here for downtown chic inspo with this look, which you can recreate with this or this.) Below, a few pics to get the look:
What are you doing for Thanksgiving? I’m wondering if COVID will upend a lot of plans, or maybe simplify things in a pleasant way? We are staying put and having my sister and brother-in-law over for the occasion. We’d love my parents-in-law to come up as well, but they are in wait-and-see mode, and I get it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve deferred plans with a vague “maybe in [June/August/October/2021] things will feel different.” I don’t even know what differences I’m expecting…? Infection rates in New York are and have been very low for weeks and weeks now, which is encouraging, but still there is a persistent ~1% of total daily COVID19 tests returning a positive, and mini is back at school, and we are therefore exposed to more people and also out and about more often, so in a sense, I feel like we should be battening down the hatches more than we have in the past, which is almost unimaginable right now, especially with seriously cold weather right around the corner (and therefore even more mandated indoor time). It’s such a confusing time with so little clarity, and so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, focusing on things that make me happy, and planning ahead for the few excursions we have on our calendar — apple and pumpkin picking, a trip to Storm King Art Center, a Friday night date night (our first proper date night out since the beginning of March — it will be the first time in six months I won’t put the children down to sleep! — and I have no idea what we are going to do but I’m thinking we have to take advantage of outdoor seating while it’s still over 60 degrees at least ONCE), Halloween with the little ones, and likely a trip to finally see my parents for the first time since Christmas. And, of course, Thanksgiving, which isn’t as far away as we think.
Which brings me to today’s post on all things Thanksgiving, and a quick, mildly corny quote to kick it off:
Gratitude takes what you have and makes it enough.
Thanksgiving Outfits.
If you like to dress up for the occasion, a couple of autumnal-leaning picks to consider:
I am buying micro these corduroy dungarees and this top, and mini this dress. I was literally stopped in my tracks by the entire fall collection from Spanish childrenswear label Luca & Luca! (I also love this dress for girls.)
And speaking of toile (can you tell I’m in love with toile?), these Juliska plates are always on my mind come the holiday season. Love! Maybe I’ll just buy the napkins this year as a harbinger of things to come. They would pop against a pretty cranberry red tablecloth/mats!
I also really like the idea of drinking a jammy red Thanksgiving wine in these bee goblets this year.
More generally, some great fall finds here. Music? Ella Fitzgerald!
Thanksgiving Menu.
I’ve had a few questions about our Thanksgiving menu already — we’ll probably be doing exactly what we did last year, and I included almost all of the recipes at the bottom of this post.
