How would you tell your story in three words right now?
In late May 2019, just a few days before my son was born, I shared two candidates for myself:
“Devoted // creative // in ascent.“
Or
“Blooming // rooted // loved.“
I was surprised to find that I feel both narratives still fit comfortably, even two years later, in the midst of a pandemic, with a second move in NYC under my belt and an imminent relocation to Washington D.C. on the horizon–all with a second child now-ensconced in my life forever. Proof-positive, I suppose, that my mid-late 30s have been a time of settling-in, of breaking in the leather, of leaning into a groove.
What about you? How would you tell your story in three words?
+A major shift in my development as a reader: “That evening, as with countless others to come, I took comfort in the escape of fiction, but something had changed. I now saw a disparity, a widening gulf. I felt that I had seen something in real life that could never be approximated on a page, that would be illicit or impossible in the world of fiction. I realized, for the first time, that whereas I had formerly seen the magical worlds of Ann and Nancy and Laura as greater than my own, the “right arrow” in the equation had flipped: I now saw my own experience outsizing theirs.”
+If you are a nursing mother (or expecting mother), the absolute best nursing bras I found are currently 30% off. I loved these because they were so, so comfortable (soft and non-constricting) and thick/absorbent for the inevitable leaks (yikes). Cannot recommend enough.
+Eyeing a pair of these wide-leg linen pants for summer in white for a Nancy Meyers moment while we’re in the Hamptons.
By: Jen Shoop
*Image above via the insanely chic Jenny Walton. (Do I also need a Prada tote?) She’s wearing a pair of the ballerina flats she designed with label Pretty Ballerinas!
My final April installment of what you’re shopping for! (Parts One and Two.) If you asked me a wedding guest outfit question, check Tuesday’s post and also this entire new section of my shop!
Q: Chic mom clothes to expand my jeans and white oxford daily look.
But if you’re looking to get fully out of your jeans-and-oxford rut, try swapping out the top for an easy-to-wear-but-interesting top like this, this, or this. (Loads of other cute spring tops at all price points here.)
I’m definitely a dress gal in the spring/summer, so that’s another avenue you might consider. I’m like a broken record here, but I find the SZ Blockprints caftans and Hill House nap dresses so easy and chic to throw on with a pair of sandals or even Supergas to run after the children. I also love shirtdresses (just ordered this white eyelet maxi style) for everyday wear — they work for literally any occasion, are comfortable, and are very flattering on most body types. You can wear them with literally any style of shoe, too: I tend to wear them with ballet flats and sandals, but they look lovely with canvas sneakers and mules too! I am currently waiting impatiently for this Daphne Wilde tiered shirtdress to come back in stock in the print! A few other everyday dresses in this vein I like: this BR steal, this Hunter Bell (look for less with this), this white Loft dress, this Draper James, and this hydrangea print dress.
Q: How about a new leather wallet that can be monogrammed? I am in the market for a “big girl” leather wallet that is excellent quality and can be personalized. I am talking about something that could even fit multiple cards, cash, notes, scraps of paper, and even a checkbook if necessary. I don’t want an LV or Gucci wallet as that is not really my thing, but I have heard great things about Leatherology from Marlein Renmeister’s blog, Le Catch. I also love Hammitt and have a clutch from them, but I’m not in love with their wallet styles. Would be great if we could keep it to under $400.
A: Love this gift for yourself! My first thought was Cuyana — they make such beautiful leather goods, with elegant (discreet) monogramming, and at a reasonable price. I have a few items of theirs that I have owned and loved for years. My second thought was Clare Vivier — a little bolder, more youthful, and I love the hand-painted lettering. So unique! I’ve never ordered from Leatherology but agree that Marlien is a good curator of ultra-chic finds. I love the look of these wallets with the hand-painted lettering — sort of a blend of Cuyana and Clare Vivier. Finally, you might consider Mansur Gavriel — great colors and great personalization options.
Q: I’m looking for some advice about what to give my older sister as a gift for graduating from college this May – preferably something under $50 (or lower), because I’m a college freshman on a budget. 🙂 I was thinking maybe a piece of personalized jewelry, like a ring, but I’m not sure if that’s within the price range? Or maybe something that would be useful to her as she goes into the workplace and moves into an apartment?
A: What a sweet question! On the jewelry front, actually, one of my very favorite pieces of jewelry is this $50 personalizable ring I bought for myself with my daughter’s initials and birth date on it. You could engrave her initials or name or even a special nickname you have for her on it. There is also this simpler band style if that’s more her speed.
Even more personalized (and reasonably priced) gifts here!
Q: Clothes that go from work-from-home to work-in-office seamlessly.
A: Hm, this depends on how formal your office is, but I would again upvote shirtdresses. They are so versatile and in general non-restricting! You can slip into a pair of heels or demure flats with them as you head into the office, or stick with canvas sneakers or sandals at home. I like like this CE Finn, this Gap stripe, this Liberty floral, and this Mango floral. If your office is more conservative, go with a classic stripe.
Q:Tops under $50 with sleeves to wear with jeans or shorts.
Q: Small space solution for entryway bench / mirror / shoe storage situation.
A: Depending on your style, this bench/hook situation (or this one, if your space is smaller) really does it all, especially with the space for a basket (or baskets) beneath the bench to stow footwear. I also like the clean lines of this waterfall console, under which you could stow deep baskets or bins for footwear, and over which you could install a mirror. The top also makes it a convenient landing place for mail, keys, phone, etc.
Q: Cool mom dress for my daughter’s baptism, ideally under $200.
A: Congratulations, mama! I am absolutely in love with this shirt dress, which reminds me of a D. Porthault print. Gorgeous. My top pick! I ordered it myself! There are also some fantastic deals on Les Reveries dresses at Gilt at the moment — consider this floral statement! I wore this floral on Easter and it was so sweet — love the pricepoint, too. A little over budget, but these Dondolo dresses are very on-trend with the smocking and prints.
Q: A law school graduation dress — TBD on whether it’s in-person yet, but still want to dress up.
A: Congratulations! Wow — what an achievement. And I love your commitment to getting dolled up regardless. A few smaller labels seem like the right fit for the moment: grown-up but not stodgy. Hunter Bell, Daydress, Molly Moorkamp, and Daphne Wilde have fantastic, unique pieces out at the moment that feel perfectly-suited to the moment: fashion-conscious but also sophisticated, in classic fabrics. I also love this Tory Burch and this Veronica Beard — they both feel like what a successful lawyer would wear on the weekends!
Q: MOTB + MOTG black tie dresses that complement all girls in white and guys in navy.
Q: We are looking to replace the arm chair my aunt uses daily (and extensively) in her retirement care facility. Do you have any suggestions? Looking for something comfortable but reasonably priced.
A: I would go with something from Crate and Barrel or Pottery Barn. I think they are far and away better quality (much, much more comfortable and more durable) than the stuff you can find for a little less on One King’s Lane, West Elm, World Market, etc. I like this one from C&B because you can always buy a replacement slipcover if you need to without having to buy a new chair. (And you can remove the slipcover and wash it as needed to begin with.) The style is also very chic! We bought a glider from C&B for mini’s nursery before she was born and it’s still in great condition despite heavy use. From Pottery Barn, I like something like this though definitely check the dimensions — I find PB stuff runs very oversized.
Q: A desk chair that is supportive, light-toned, but not leather or too office-y. Help!
A: A reader turned me onto this style, which was recommended to her by an interior designer. I think the style is great and it comes in different colors (including non-leather options). I have this saved for our new home! I actually do like the leather option, though — this in the brown leather looks like it was designed by Ralph Lauren and could look SO good!
Q: Loving all the Faithfull dresses but there are so many to scour through. Rec?
A: I know — how do they do it?! I keep meticulous record of all of the pieces I love while I’m shopping, and this is the only Faithfull dress I had pinned on hand. Absolutely love that print (!). Also comes in this style of dress, which I personally prefer for my body type.
Q: Flat leather sandal (a la Hermes, but everyone I know has the Oran). Must be comfy.
A: I absolutely love this pair by Malone Souliers. So classy and simple. And these have some canvas detailing, but how fun are these Tory Burches in the white?! LOVE. I have many pairs of Alexandre Birman and I find them very comfortable, so I feel confident in recommending this knot pair. Finally, these are white leather, but I was just swooning over these Alaias.
Q: Very specific, but looking for a chunky, navy-and-white striped, sleeveless sweater.
*Image above via Daphne Wilde. I am in love with her gorgeous reinvention of “the house dress” and am impatiently sitting on the wait list for her Giovanna dress. This and other shirtdresses I’m lusting after below.
A few items I have purchased or earmarked for purchase this season:
2 //ELEMIS CLEANSING BALM. I need a new skincare product like I need a hole in my head (ahem) but I had heard so many people rave about this product, I was curious to test. I just received it last weekend and will report back with full review soon. The smell is insanely good (!) and I love the concept of massaging this into my skin and then wiping with a warm washcloth — it feels so purifying and relaxing!
3 // NEW UNDERS. Pretty spring Hanky Panky and — shhh, don’t tell — these inexpensive black ones from Amazon Basics, which have slowly become my go-to favorite granny panties (I sleep in them). Can’t beat the price at $13.50 for six.
5 // MADEWELL ANORAK. The colors are just so good — love the pink and yellow and am torn on which direction to go. I’ve been eyeing the more expensive Stutterheim rain jacket forever and ever and had promised I wouldn’t buy another raincoat before investing in that one but…
7 // CLARE VIVIER BELT BAG. You know how much I have loved the return of the belt bag while I have little children. It all started with this State Bags’ style, which I wore for two years straight. I love the gingham of this Clare Vivier style. So feminine and fun!
8 // SPRING RUNNING GEAR. I just bought this short sleeve top in the linen blue color, a bunch of Feetures socks in spring colors, and a couple pairs of running shorts from different retailers to test: these from Tracksmith in stonewash, these in the sunset color, and this under-$20 pair in the beta tint (read reviews!) Will of course report back on the shorts. I was really quite taken by Tracksmith’s cold weather technology — I ran all winter long, often in sub-20-degree weather — in their turnover tights and merino tops and couldn’t believe how warm but unencumbered I was, so I have high hopes for their summer gear, too. I was worried that several of their styles were too “hardcore” for me — I don’t really want to run in like those SUPER short tiny diaper shorts professional runners wear — so I went with the slightly longer length style, but may order another style or two after. (Input welcome!) This lightweight running jacket is also in my cart at the moment. So chic!
9 // SHIRTDRESSES. I just can’t get enough simple, ankle-length shirtdresses for this upcoming season. It’s all I want to wear! I bought this white eyelet from J. Crew, this from Brooks Brothers of all places (the print! the scalloped collar! j’adore!), this from Mille, and am debating on which print to get from India Amory. I’m also on a wait list for this Daphne Wilde dress (!) Last summer was the summer of the caftan — now I’m living in shirtdresses I suppose.
10 // BIRTHDAY GEAR FOR MICRO’S SECOND BIRTHDAY. My baby will be TWO at the end of May and I haven’t yet mapped out his birthday gifts. I have, however, been going to town getting ready for a small outdoor playdate we’re hosting with a few of his little friends — the gathering will have a fire truck theme. I worked with my friend Erin Wallace to design invitations, matching favor bag stickers, and thank you note cards in the vein of this design! (Check out all of her new invitation styles for little ones — TOO CUTE!). We will of course all be wearing firefighter helmets. More to come!
P.S. If you’re looking for music to work to…the comments section is a goldmine! My sister and I are both hooked on the Ina Garten playlist upvoted a few times!
*Mini was probably 20 months old in the photo above, carrying her trusty Lulu (a Corolle mini!) everywhere with her at that age.
Lincoln Center recently announced that it will be transforming its iconic plaza into a green space this summer, and I found myself strangely aghast over the news. Even though I conceptually appreciate and support the fact that the project will “kickstart the arts sector” and “reactivate public space” after a year of dormancy (New York needs this!), and even though the installation is temporary, I found myself quailing at the prospect.
It was perhaps the first time I had contemplated the possibility that “my New York” — the New York that has been my home for the last few years — will disappear when I move this summer. I now have the mounting suspicion that when I return, Jackie O. will stand like a stranger, the streets will be dirtier than I remembered, our little wine bar around the corner–the one with tiny round tables that dot the sidewalk at the helm of a street lined with lovely brownstones–will have closed. I know this is the way of the world. Even while I am living here in Manhattan, the city has been changing under my feet from day to day. Restaurants close; new buildings are erected; contemporary statues are installed; scaffolding appears, then disappears, transforming entire blocks of the city overnight. The city is liquid. Beyond that, my father has continually impressed upon me the importance of forward-leaning momentum in life: “no looking back, Jen.” Still, in spite of the various threads of logic so readily gathered in counterpoint, I had to linger for a minute in my disappointment over the soon-to-be-transformed plaza in front of the Metropolitan Opera house, where, as I wrote recently, “my daughter learned to scoot…and enjoyed countless dripping ice cream cones while gazing distractedly into its dancing fountains.” I suppose the plans served as a facile metaphor: my memories of raising my two babies here will soon be submerged. I will no longer turn the corner and immediately — with no pause, and no strain — see my daughter wheeling down the broad paving stones of the plaza, two and fearless and as precious a pearl. I will no longer envision, with immediacy, the performative kick of one leg behind her in the air as she’d lean over the handlebar, toe pointed, a daredevil in a balletic pose. Now there will be grass — synthetic grass — covering the surface of that memory when we depart in a couple months, and then the 233 miles between our apartment in Manhattan and our future home in D.C. obscuring it further, and then the inevitable toll of time will continue to erode the vision such that one day, that toe point and the minutiae of the tiny human that formed it will shimmer and fade into the lovely but untrustworthy gossamer of the past.
This is life, this is life —
And far be it for me to turn luddite.
But my goodness, I think I will miss this city as I have known it.
*****
In this vein, I wanted to share some (!) of my favorite restaurants in New York, as a snapshot of the city I have known. Several are sadly in various permutations of temporary or even permanent closure owing to COVID. This is a non-exhaustive list that skews towards the one-of-a-kind, exceptional, destination-worthy caliber of restaurants, as there are also many neighborhood-type restaurants we’ve loved for convenient weeknight dining (Motorino for thin-crust pizza, Mermaid Inn for happy hour, etc.) I know I am forgetting many…!
+I Sodi. The best pasta I’ve ever had in a cozy but elegant setting. Top top top top notch, and the service is impeccable. (Order the fried artichokes as an appetizer and the ravioli as an entree and immediately enter heaven.)
+Pastrami Queen. Our favorite deli on the planet. The prices are obscene, yes, but a lunch of their matzo ball soup and rye bread piled high with pastrami and spicy mustard will make you weep with joy.
+Bar Pisellino. The chicest and most convenient spot to wait for a table in West Village: aperitivi and bar snacks in a space perfectly designed to accommodate hungry diners seeking a temporary perch and a good cocktail.
+Corner Bistro. Sit at the bar, order a burger and martini, and enjoy the show. (Great people watching in this packed and iconic setting, and a great (!) burger to boot.)
+Super Taste. A no-frills hole-in-the-wall with the best dumplings and hand-pulled noodles I’ve ever eaten. Vanessa’s is a close runner-up — and one we frequent regularly because they just opened a location uptown and how can you beat that convenience?
+Prince Street Pizza. Literally the best pizza I’ve ever eaten. I dream of that pizza.
+Le Coucou. The most extravagant meal we’ve had in Manhattan in one of the most astoundingly romantic and attractive restaurants I’ve ever been in in my life. If you aren’t game for forcemeat and traditional, formal French cuisine like quenelle de brochet and escargots, you might want to skip this one. But oh my goodness is it delicious. Indulgent, over-the-top, beautiful.
+Banh NY. Mr. Magpie and I love — *love* — Vietnamese food. Pho has been a near-weekly occurrence in our lives for decades, and I first discovered the art of the banh mi sandwich out in Eden Center in Seven Corners, where you could score an amazing BBQ pork banh mi for all of $3.25. In Chicago, we’d make a 30-minute pilgrimage to Tank Noodle in the Uptown area every week or two — it was that good and that important to us. In short, we take Vietnamese cuisine seriously. I personally think the banhs at Two Wheels are slightly better than Banh’s but everything else — buns, cha gio, pho — are as good as it gets at Banh in NYC.
+Ippudo Ramen. We’ve probably tried all of the esteemed ramen shops in Manhattan, and this is our favorite. The silkiest, richest broth and the most toothsome noodles. My mouth is watering just thinking of it…
+Wild Air. We went wild over the sandwiches (there was this insane broccoli rabe and cheese melt on the menu when we went that I still dream of…everything about it was perfect from the housemade bread to the cheese) and then lost our damn minds over the donuts, which sell out in a nano-second daily. Worth a trip just for the donuts, but the sandwiches are also exquisite.
+Barney Greengrass. A destination for a reason: the best smoked fish in, probably, the world. Everything bagel with pastrami lox and all the trimmings, pls and thank you.
+Breads Bakery. Babka. Thank me later. Also, I think, one of the best chocolate chip cookies in the city. It’s thin, chewy, and buttery. Everyone loves Levain, but my vote is with Breads.
+Two Little Red Hens. Meep – I think this has permanently closed (!) – but the best cupcakes on the planet, and we’ve tried them all, from Baked & Wired in DC to Sprinkles to everything in between. A really light, fluffy cupcake with perfectly sweet-but-not-too-sweet frosting.
+Marea. A Michelin-starred restaurant presenting sophisticated seafood dishes in a quiet, elegant setting. A great place to take your parents. I also love the location, right on Columbus Circle.
+Orwashers. I love their black-and-white cookies, custom-filled-to-order donuts, and croissants, and I have been on-and-off addicted to one of their bagel sandwiches, The West Coast. It’s embarrassingly simple in ingredients but I cannot resist its appeal, usually once a week: everything bagel, cream cheese, avocado, arugula, and olive oil. I live close to one of their shops and am in here for weekday lunches, weekend bagels/pastries more often than I care to admit.
A couple of great snags in Tory Burch’s new sale section:
PERSONALIZED HANDKERCHIEFS SEEN ABOVE — WOULD BE A SWEET GIFT FOR A BRIDE-TO-BE! (I ACTUALLY GAVE MY MAID OF HONOR A PERSONALIZED HANDKERCHIEF ON MY WEDDING DAY BECAUSE SHE WAS KNOWN FOR BEING TENDER-HEARTED!…THEY CAME IN HANDY)
PRETTY FLORAL PLACEMATS AND NAPKINS (PERFECT FOR A MOTHER’S DAY BRUNCH…OR MOTHER’S DAY GIFT!)
I have recently received so, so many shopping requests for wedding guest dresses so I wanted to offer a roundup of up-to-date options since many of the ones I shared in this special occasion roundup are now sold out. I’ve also added a new section to my shop that I will try to keep up-to-date with loads of wedding guest finds as we head into wedding season (so exciting to say those words). I have TWO deferred weddings in early fall that I’m already excited to doll up for…
For shoes: Gosh, I’m a 90s gal when it comes to evening shoes in the sense that I reach for high heels (3.5″ or higher) for special occasions. Blame it on Carrie Bradshaw. Do you know how many times my mother would give me stern looks and tell me to “be careful in those”? Even when I was in my late 20s? One of my biggest concessions in planning my wedding was buying shoes that were only 2.5″ high instead of 4″ as I’d wished. Anyway, my go-to wedding shoes are Alexandre Birman Claritas, but I guess I could make do with the LR knot mules if we’re going to be outside or practical. I also really do love these lower-heeled mules with the ostentatious brooch at the toe — I’d wear them also with jeans and a white tee!
These and more — plus some fun jewelry finds and other accessories in this section of my shop from now on.
P.S. If you’re trying to plan what to put on your registry, or are looking to buy a wedding gift, here’s a good start! My favorite gift to give is a Staub Dutch oven. We use it constantly in our home and it’s just a lovely, substantial classic for any home. (Slight preference to Staub vs. Le Creuset because the knob on the top of the Staub is metal and can therefore withstand higher heat than Le Creuset, which uses plastic. You aren’t normally blasting a Staub at high heat in the oven, but still – just a very durable, well-considered, eternally-lasting item of kitchen gear. We’ll probably be able to pass ours along to our children!)
My top recommendation for warm weather shoes for toddler girls are Cientas in either the t-strap(09.) or Mary Jane style. They work with dresses or shorts, wear like sneakers, can be worn with or without socks — and I like the timeless, slightly dressy look. Mini already has a few pairs in solids and ginghams as we ease into warmer weather. Navy and pink are always good starting points for our wardrobes in the summertime! You can get this look for less with this $13 pair(20.)!
I also liked Cientas in navy and white for micro last summer, but am debating whether the t-strap might be a little too baby-ish for him this year. I think I will probably go for the plimsoll style(15.) in blue or try the Keds Graham style in khaki or red(11.), which I know a lot of you LOVE for your little men. (I learned from Bridget that you can keep them looking spiffy by putting a tiny scoop of powdered Tide in hot water and then scrubbing them with an old toothbrush! I tested this recently on some marked-up rain boots and scuffed-up Cientas and it really did work well!). I also love velcro Supergas, so will buy him a pair of those, too. They are a little sportier than the Cienta/Keds look — somewhere between Cientas and a New Balance.
And every little boy needs a pair of Sperry boat shoes(16.)! This particular style runs a tad big and is genius because the entire upper part velcros (no lacing/tying necessary). I bought them for micro to wear on Easter and he’ll be wearing them all summer long!
For sandals, historically, I have bought mini and micro Sun Sans (I love the sweetheart style in white or pink for mini and the Sea Wees(14.) in brown for micro). They’re fantastic because they are waterproof and they have a nice thick rubber sole for padding around the splash pad / beach / puddles / city streets. I do have to say they take a bit of wearing in — the leather can be rather stiff and mini did get a blister or two from wearing them the first few days of the season; plus, you have to buckle them, which is very difficult for small children to do on their own. This year, I am going to try Footmates’ variation on the same theme(01.), which people tend to prefer because of the velcro versus buckle closure. I love the mint and lavender colors but debating whether white is a safer bet…
For athletic shoes, I have been buying mini Vejas(08.). They are incredibly sturdy and well-made, and I like the style. I will probably buy some for micro, too, but he’s been rocking these New Balances(13.) at the moment.
As we head towards summer, Natives(02.) are a go-to of ours for making our way through New York City’s splash pads! I like the milk pink for mini and the red for micro. I’m sure everyone’s already tried these, but they are amazing because you can literally wash them in the sink/hose them down.
A couple of other spring shoes I love for this season…
Mr. Magpie and I have occasionally despaired over the fact that we feel we were “cheated” or “robbed” of over a year of living in New York City. Almost everyone, everywhere has felt this way about the pandemic, to be sure: we are all grieving the loss of normalcies, of life experiences we were promised, of births and dinners out and weddings and first birthday parties and graduations as they should be. In our case, there is something galling about the amount of money we have paid in rent to live in such tight quarters, with none of Manhattan’s advertised amenities and diversions available to us. New Yorkers put up with exorbitant rent and diminutive apartments because, well, we are living in New York City: punitive real estate prices are the known tradeoff for access to the best of everything. But living in New York during a pandemic has been kind of like buying front-row seats to an act you’ve always wanted to hear live, and then being escorted into a small back room and being presented with a live-stream of the event, or still pictures of it, or perhaps just a peephole view of the proceedings. I wouldn’t say the event was fully called-off, but it was not the spectacle I was promised. I try not to linger too much on this fact in light of the far graver sufferings so many others have borne during this period, but still — it is an honest thought that has skittered through my mind. (Of all the possible permutations our lives might have taken: why New York, why now?)
I found myself rounding the corner of a different perspective on the matter last week, while walking Tilly in driving, 45-degree rain. It is miserable walking a dog in wet, cold Manhattan, but it is also — strangely — winning. I was listening to Ella Fitzgerald on my AirPods and the cherry and magnolia trees on our route were blossoming and I had that all-too-common New York sensation of gratitude for the entire shebang: the harried and put-out New Yorkers sprinting to their destinations, the slash of taxi tires on slick pavement, the way rain can briefly absent the normally-busy sidewalks of their pedestrians such that I notice the astounding architecture of my neighborhood in greater clarity. It made me think about how often my appreciation of New York is a matter of mood. I can prickle at the woman yelling obscenities on my subway car, or I can think about how quickly I have been whisked from my doorstep to Flatiron. I can huff and puff about the clog of pedestrians on my regular running route, or I can slow down and appreciate what’s drawn them there in the first place: trees in bloom around Jackie O.
The same, too, of Manhattan during this pandemic. I had two episodes of full-body chills that demonstrate this point perfectly: in the first, I was experiencing the wracking symptoms of COVID, and in the second, I was staring out the window, tears streaming down my cheeks, as New Yorkers erupted for the first time into applause at 7 P.M. to cheer on essential workers during the height of the pandemic. These twin incidents represent two sides of the same coin of living in Manhattan over the past year. I can be angry that I caught COVID despite taking every reasonable precaution or I can be grateful that I bore such close-at-hand witness to the strength and generosity of this city that never sleeps. (I realize, too, that I could have caught COVID anywhere in the U.S., but in all my many hours of browbeating over catching the damned thing, my final estimation is that I must have caught it while walking Tilly one night, perhaps while waiting to cross the street next to someone who happened to have it. I simply cannot remember any other excursions that would have led to an infection — we were having everything delivered at that point. And so my living here, in NYC, in consenting and inescapably close proximity to strangers, seems to have predicated my infection.)
I shared a quote from David Gessner on the occasion of my 36th birthday: “I am wary of anyone who offers ‘lessons’ from a moment of crisis. September 11 should have taught us that most of these immediate insights are disposable.” And so I recognize that even with the advances in vaccinations, we are still living in a crisis, and I am therefore on precarious footing if seeking meaning from this morass. I recognize, too, that there is something hurtful about sharing silver linings that point toward self-improvement when so many are deep in grief over matters far meatier. So let me present this next point carefully, acknowledging the good fortune it reveals, or at least note that any wariness you might be feeling is warranted: when I reflect on living here this past year, and I feel the tug toward frustration I mentioned at the outset of this post, I am also struck by how simple and small our needs are at the end of the day. We have now lived our lives so narrowly for so long, everything circumscribed within the span of our immediate family of four, our nanny, and my sister and brother-in-law; our small apartment; and a square about four avenues wide and ten blocks long. Give me Central Park, good health, my loved ones, enough door-demarcated rooms in our apartment to afford the possibility of privacy when needed, and we are set. How unlikely to come to this conclusion in New York City, glittering mecca of immoderation and indulgence. How, in a strange sense, fortunate.
+Beginning to get organized for micro’s (very small, outdoor) fire truck-themed second birthday party at the end of next month. Can I justify these even though there will only be a handful of attendees?
We were a little late in weaning micro off the bottle for milk. He’s been drinking water out of straw/sippy cups for a long time, but we were deeply ingrained in the milk-in-a-bottle habit. With mini, we went cold turkey to sippy cups around 15 months (maybe earlier, I can’t quite remember), but with micro, I tried a few times — maybe once a month for several months in a row — and he would wail for his bottle and I would cave. It was always vaguely stressful to me, because he simply would not drink milk if not presented in his bottle, and then I’d worry he would go to bed hungry. Mr. Magpie is much better at these transitions than I am. I like to think I can put my foot down on things pertaining to safety, manners, and brattiness, but with changes pertaining to gear and schedule that have no bearing on behavior, I am a total pushover. (Good thing neither of my children cottoned to the pacifier! I hear pacifier-weaning is brutal!) Mr. Magpie made the point that he would eventually drink the milk if we persisted in giving him no other options as he loves milk and has always drunk as much of it as he has been given. With that encouragement, I was determined that we make the change and so I gathered up all his bottles, put them in the recycling bin, and then insisted he take his milk at mealtimes in other cups. I tried five or six styles but the one that finally clicked for him? The Nuk that worked with mini. It took a few days, but he finally started drinking consistently out of it rather than chucking it on the floor or looking at me with his sad puppy dog eyes. (In the meantime, I doubled down on dairy at mealtimes, offering him lots of cottage cheese, yogurt, and string cheese.) Something interesting happened in the process: we noticed he started eating a lot better at mealtimes when he wasn’t filling up as much on milk! It made us realize maybe we were giving him a little too much milk anyway. Good news all around.
At any rate, I really cannot recommend this cup enough for those of you in similar throes, or about to embark on the transition. It worked for both of my children and so many of my friends’ children as well. I think the spout has a similar feel to a bottle nipple, so it feels like more of a natural graduation.
I share all of this in excruciating detail to be honest with you: even the second time around, I still find these transitions challenging and still doubt whether I’m doing the right thing at the right time and still tinker with options. Motherhood is that way, isn’t it? An unfolding workshop.
*A few of the other cups I tried: Dr. Brown’s, Miniware, OXO, Nuby, Take and Toss, Re-Play. I’m confident I’ll be using all of these with him in the future. With mini, it was a matter of making the transition from bottle to Nuk and then within a few weeks, she would drink milk out of anything.
One of the things I admire most about Mr. Magpie is his dogged, unwavering insistence on doing things the right way, all the way through. He does not cut corners. He leaves nothing half-done. If he’s going to do something, he’s going to put in “a total effort,” to borrow a phrase from golfer Arnold Palmer, who once said: “Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you.”
It’s not that I’m the type to take shortcuts (in fact, I have come to the perspective that there are very few shortcuts or hacks in life — you always end up paying for them one way or the other), but on occasion I have been known to err on the side of what I will possibly euphemistically call “the pragmatic.” I used to tell my perfectionist-leaning team members: “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough” and “iteration is the name of the game.” I have a bias towards action when it comes to work — even now, as a solitary writer. I’d rather publish prolifically, making mistakes along the way but earning all of experience that extra mileage affords, than belabor a single piece to the point of high-polish. (The medium of the blog is a handy accomplice in this orientation, enabling me to make edits just as quickly as I publish.) I suppose I would consider myself in the “move fast and break things” camp, the informal internal mantra of Facebook until a few years ago, when the mentality no longer suited the behemoth it had become. I’d always prefer to put out a first version than to linger in draft mode for weeks.
Mr. Magpie and I are good colleagues in this sense — he is the yin to my yang in the running of businesses together and also in the administration of our lives at home. He is a total effort kind of guy, and I will sometimes find myself chopping an entire head of lettuce on a tiny cutting board just because I don’t feel like dirtying a second (larger) cutting board. (?!? Please tell me I’m not alone in that insanity.) It is a convenient clash that has prevented many missteps on both sides of the spectrum: we have jumped on opportunities at my behest and also avoided oversights at his. He is thorough, and I am quick. Still, I’d like to think that over time, I have learned to designate between the moments that call for a total effort and the moments that are a bit more accommodating and lower-stakes. As I head towards 40, I am beginning to find more of an appeal in the total effort camp: fewer things, done better.
(In all areas but writing, where I will persist in publishing at a slightly dizzying speed because I find the challenge stirring, and I am now addicted.)
What about you? Do you consider yourself a “total effort” kind of gal, or only in certain areas?
+Nearly 43,000 five star reviews should tell you all you need to know about this misting hair spray bottle, which I use daily to style mini’s hair before school and on occasion when I have let my hair air-dry too long before using my Revlon One-Step. It’s a must. Added to my beauty essentials list.
*Image above from 2009 (!) of the ever-chic Lauren Santo Domingo wearing Chloe. Chloe still puts out scalloped shorts, nearly 12 seasons later, and you can find them here. J. Crew does a much shorter length variation here (06. below) for $30! Note LSD’s styling, though — tres chic!
After my post on cute shorts for little ones, a few of you reached out to ask for recommendations on shorts for women this upcoming season! I am really intrigued by paper bag waist shorts this season, a la L’Agence, Splendid, and of course the must-have SEA Dax shorts (<<fully stocked!; 04. below). If you like the look but want something a little more tame/less exaggerated, try these from The Outnet or these from Gap. A few of my favorites…
The patterned/statement shorts would pair perfectly with this ruffle-sleeve top or one of these seamless tanks (both $30 and under), or a cashmere tee (on sale!) as we transition to warm weather. And loads of gorgeous statements tops for spring at all pricepoints here.
If jeans are out of the question owing to decorum or weather (not sure how toasty it will be then!), I would reach for a breezy dress that can be worn with Supergas. (I would not want to walk for hours on a grass golf course with sandals, personally.) I like this Mi Golondrina, this Pink City Prints, and this tiered gingham.
A: I like the look of this pair from Mother. I’ve been dancing around the purchase of a pair of jeans from this brand for awhile — people rave about them! I also like the Audrey Hepburn vibes of this pair from DL1961.
Q: What would you suggest (or what would you wear) to the Kentucky Derby?
A: Ohhh YES. Pinnacle sundress event! Whatever you do, don’t wear heels, especially if you are infield. My first thought was this tiered floral with a Sarah Bray sunhat (swap out for a ribbon that matches your outfit — they ship free). You can get the Sarah Bray sunhat look for less with this $50 score! Other favorites:
A: Check out Stuart Weitzman! They always have a more refined take on trends. I like these. The same goes for Alexandre Birman — their interpretations of trends are always a bit more elegant and ladylike, as is the case with their combat boot.
Q: Black blouse with puff sleeves or wide straps, v- or square-neck, to be worn for my birthday.
A: Happy birthday! Love the specificity of this request! I like this Rhode, this Ciao Lucia, or this under-$70 score. For something with longer sleeves, this would look great with jeans or skirts.
Q: Canisters for sugar, flour, brown sugar.
A: I’ve always lusted after my mother’s copper set, which looks just like these. Gorgeous to display on a countertop! I also like this less-expensive glass and wood set. If you’re talking more for pantry storage, I really like the Progressive International ones. I find them much more airtight than OXO’s POP style, though I do have a mix of both in my pantry because I’d already purchased the OXO before realizing that they didn’t actually fully seal, which does matter with brown sugar at least.
Q: Cream and pink rug for a nursery? Maybe round. I like Persian styles.
A: Lulu and Georgia has some sweet styles that I think will be up your alley, like this or this. Also check out Annie Selka — they do such fun, bold styles, like this! Finally, I have several friends who have fallen head over heels for Caitlin Wilson’s children’s rugs, and they carry lots of pink styles.
A: Cute little man! My son loves dinosaurs, too. Not uncommon for us to hear a string of roaring noises for five or ten minutes coming from his room. I like this set from PBK because if you relax the eyes, it almost looks like toile! It could be mixed in with a navy or white comforter for a classic look. (Plus, it glows in the dark, which would blow my children’s minds.) These little red t-rexes are also pretty cute. Finally, this print is cute — the colors are good.
Q: Bedding for a new lake cottage. Decently priced but comfortable.
A: Congratulations! I feel like a broken record, but this set from Boll & Branch is the absolute best set I’ve ever slept on, and the price is reasonable. Just the dreamiest, softest, silkiest, coolest materials. I prefer B&B to Hill House, but Hill House are also lovely (a little crisper and don’t launder as well in my opinion) and they come in more interesting styles (and can be personalized). A couple of Magpies have also raved about the brand Comphy, but I have yet to try. They seem like a good bet in a simple white.
Q: Fun rehearsal dinner guest dresses!
A: Enjoy! A couple of fun statement dresses to consider:
Q: Window treatments for a 12-year-old boy to grow with through his teen years.
A: I would go for a classic linen with a greek key trim in navy (or some other classic, non-pastel color) — these look so handsome, but because they are simple, won’t look too grown-up in a little boy’s room. The key trim adds an element of interest/fun. Another option would be to go with a ribbon trim in navy/brown/etc. Gingham might also work if you pick a neutral (like the khaki/white combo) and then keep the rest of the room simple as he grows.
