Don’t get me wrong — we have our fair share of hideous, flashing toys in this house, but where possible, I have kept an eye on aesthetics, too. Below, some adorable children’s toys you won’t mind leaving out, many of which we own!
Oui, vous serez ensemble jusque dans la silencieuse mémoire de Dieu. Mais qu’il y ait des espaces dans votre communion, Et que les vents du ciel dansent entre vous.
Aimez-vous l’un l’autre, mais ne faites pas de l’amour une entrave; Qu’il soit plutôt une mer mouvante entre les rivages de vos âmes.
–Kahlil Gibran, “Le Mariage”*
***
Last Saturday, Mr. Magpie and I celebrated eleven years of marriage together. Eleven years (plus the seven years of dating prior) of an easy kind of love, borne of a high school hunch, and nothing but moondance since. Eleven years and though I know him like the back of my hand — can pick him out from a crowd several hundred feet away just by his posture and the distinctive way he holds his head; can intuit the specific words that will upset him in an overheard correspondence with another person; can understand the order and volume of information to offer him at a given time; can read his private reaction even when he appears stoic in a public setting — he is a constant surprise to me. Conversation with him is a wild ride. Here is a man who will bluster through the tough stuff when he must (“she was pretty banged up,” he explained euphemistically after I fell very ill with COVID) and who will also turn tender-hearted over the spectacle of two old people standing in line for ice cream together. A man who is both the most exacting, detail-oriented, motivated-by-excellence person I have ever met and who will also on occasion shrug to himself: “KISS. Keep it simple, stupid” and, say, pick up Martin’s hamburger buns rather than making the brioche ones himself. I am routinely arrested and delighted by these inconsistencies, by the slim and thrilling spaces between us. In short, I love that he continues to be himself in our marriage — just as he is in any setting. The same unflappable, occasionally stubborn boy who was “a GDI” at Greek-centric UVA, who wore velvet tuxedo shoes to the dismay and confusion of his ring of (how to put it?) unimpressed-by-fashion friends, who will sit through an unbearable evening of one kind or another and rest, unprovoked, behind those placid hazel eyes, as he did recently when we found ourselves party to a discourteous acquaintance spilling all kinds of strange and impertinent things, and I watched him quietly observe the unpleasantness and then choose not to engage, clipping into his own universe of thought, occasionally commenting on the lightening bugs around us or a topic he did find of interest. It was the most attractive of rebuffs: nothing confrontational or flashy, just self-assured disengagement. That is not worth my time or energy, was the subtext. No offense. He isthat way: solid, straight-through. He could be in the cheap seats at Yankees stadium or at a black tie gala with celebrities (both venues in which he has found himself in recent history) and he is him, no airs or put-upons or contortions to oblige different personalities or settings. And yet that him continues to startle me, even after all this time, and so I know on a profound level what Gibran meant when he advised that marriage should be like a sea moving between two souls — that is, liquid in its accommodations. Shared but not in a constraining way. Complementary rather than conforming.
Cheers to not only eleven years of marriage, but to “des especes dans notre communion” that continuously bless it new.
*English translation from here reprinted below, but the language is far more lissome and prismatic in its original French. I specifically dislike the translation of “une entrave,” which I understand to mean something more like “hindrance” than “bond” in French:
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
+These $10 swim trunks have been a great buy for us this summer. I actually usually keep them in my diaper bag because we have been out at playgrounds with water features, at my parents’-in-law who have sprinklers, etc!
+OK, I just added this foot measuring tool to my cart. Do you know how often I have no idea what size my children should be wearing in shoes?!
+We have been getting so much use out of these great cabana striped towels — the children are always playing in our little pool or sprinkler, or running over to swim at the neighbors’.
+I love the fit of this long-sleeved tee. It’s marketed for exercise but totally works with jeans, too — it’s not a performance fabric. I like the cut of the top styled with bike shorts.
*I’ve been wanting an excuse to buy some of these gorgeous crackers for awhile. So special to bring to a celebration table.
A few chic gift ideas at all different price points and all different occasions…
BOGG XL BAG. I’ve seen these all over the place but didn’t love the dimensions — I feel like you can barely fit anything in the smaller size. I didn’t realize it came in an enormous size until I saw my girlfriend Inslee toting one to the pool a week or two ago. Chic and functional!
CAUDALIE FACIAL SPRAY. The kind of thing you can wrap up in cellophane with a big ribbon as a little thank you / treat for a girlfriend. This particular brand is bracingly addictive. Another similar option: a set of Mario Badescu sprays wrapped up in a big bow.
HEREND CERAMIC ANIMAL. Comes in tons of animals — crabs, bears, bunnies. A cute little trinket to commemorate a moment. (Birth, graduation, new job, etc!)
SMYTHSON NOTEBOOK. Would be a great gift for a friend venturing off to a new job, starting a new business, starting school, etc.
OIL CRUET. A chic keepsake for an active home cook. Would look so pretty on a countertop!
MENUS BOOK. What a darling gift for an avid entertainer! You can write in your own menus and guests on the pages. Also love this gardening notebook set for a green thumb.
MINNIDIP SPLASH PAD. A friend of ours brought this by the other weekend — the children loved it! I wish I’d thought to bring this as a gift to our friends in the Hamptons.
CRATE + BARREL APPETIZER PLATES. I feel like I include this in every single gift roundup I’ve ever done, but these are just such a fantastic surprise gift. I use these plates every single day. Great for entertaining, small nibbles, mise en place, spoon rest, etc.
We had a virtual extended family trivia session a few weeks ago, and the prize was a framed piece of artwork from Art Enables, a D.C.-area non-profit art gallery and vocational arts program “dedicated to creating opportunities for artists with disabilities to make, market, and earn income from their original and compelling artwork.” I was so struck by the masterpieces these artists are producing and, after considerable deliberation, selected a stirring floral by Helen Lewis, whose artwork is described as “steady and calm, much like her spirit.” I also loved the pieces by Charles Meissner and Charmaine Jones. Amazing source for beautiful, affordable artwork produced by artists with disabilities.
One of the biggest surprises of moving to Bethesda has been realizing how isolated we were in Manhattan, which, on the surface of it, seems impossible. Marooned in Manhattan? One of the most densely-populated cities in the world, with many close friends living there alongside us? How?
Well, COVID. Our move here synchronized with the easing of restrictions (which are now, sadly, being rolled back). It has been much easier to see people and do things the past few weeks on that count.
Even without COVID, though, I have a hunch I’d be clocking a similar sensation. I don’t know that I fully realized how readily I would lean into life with a car and how much simpler it feels to strap my children into carseats and go, most often to places with ample parking right out front, an amenity that still shocks and delights me. (“You mean, we want to go to a playground, and we drive there, and we park right out front, and we get out, and we go?” The equation is joyfully free of unanticipated logistical trap doors.) The simplicity of these outings spirits us on, and we find ourselves doing a lot more a lot more often with a lot more people. I know there are many parents in NYC who manage to bop up and down the city all week long with little ones in tow, but we were not those people. We tended to live by the “one thing a day” mantra in Manhattan, deterred from doing more by the challenge of maneuvering several outings around naps, subway trips, strollers, elevators, bathroom emergencies, etc. This is not to say raising children in NYC didn’t have its own magic, or to in any way suggest a certain way of life is better than another, but more to say — the logistics of life hang much looser in these parts. And I like it.
I also know this sensation is informed by the fact that our network is much deeper here. There are four grandparents and three cousins within short driving distance. I love (!) to drop by my parents’ house — poke my head in, chat with them on the second floor landing, steal La Croix from their fridge. I had anticipated missing the spontaneity that NYC-living invites, but had not given any thought to the unique deliciousness of popping by to see my mom, or texting my father-in-law at 3 p.m. on a Sunday and having him materialize on our doorstep for happy hour an hour or two later, or watching all the children on our street congregate around 5 p.m. every night to scoot and play hide-and-go-seek in the neighbors’ yards, or discovering that my neighbor a few doors down knows a few of my schoolmates from Visitation.
I cannot measure it —
After cloistering in a small space owing to COVID and the unique challenges of moving through the city with two little ones —
+Nursing mamas: these were my favorite nursing nightgowns, and they are currently on sale for $22. So incredibly soft, and I love the two colors/prints they have on offer right now.
+I actually get a lot of questions about stain removal — ha! I still swear (!) by applying Palmolive and hot water with this tiny brush immediately after staining occurs. Stains literally disappear before your eyes! Then I launder immediately after pre-treating. I also hear good things about this “stain-eating” spray.
My apartment building elevator selfies may be a thing of the past, but the Hill House trellis-print nap dress I’m wearing above continues to get ample wear in Bethesda, MD. This is my absolute favorite nap dress I’ve ever owned — the color and pattern are so unusual and fun for me (I own nothing else green!), the cut is perfection (I specifically like that it has sleeves and a tie in the back so you do not ever need to adjust the neckline/sleeves/etc), and it is simply the most comfortable dress for everyday wear. Case in point: I chose to wear this dress the day we moved out of NYC, which involved a lot of running after the children, sweating in the sweltering July heat, moving bags and boxes, and then sitting in a car for four hours. Lightweight, demure, feminine, the perfect length. J’adore.
Due to popular demand, Hill House is bringing back their trellis print from earlier this year today, so the exact print and style I am wearing in the photo above will be back today at 12 EST. I would size down if in question — the sizing runs generously. They are also bringing back a lovely variation of the print in white/pink in the Ellie dress style along with a range of other amazing botanical print pieces, which you can scope out in the line sheet below. The bedding would be so sweet in a girl’s room, and that robe!!!
Do you consider yourself an adventurous eater? Has your level of culinary daring varied over time? I was thinking about this the other day when I was describing Mr. Magpie to a new friend and mentioned that he was “the type to order the wildest thing on the menu.” (Which is true and not true — he’s not the type to do anything to impress anybody (i.e., this is not for shock value), but he likes to try things that are difficult to come by or prepare, as he is such an excellent cook that he can pull off most menu staples handily at home. As an example, he will usually order fried artichokes or calamari if they are on the menu because they are both painstaking to clean/prepare on your own, and frying anything is an undertaking, and if there is anything with squid ink or morels or ramps — ingredients that have short seasons or are just difficult to find — he’s all over it.) My friend then asked: “What about you? Are you an adventurous eater?” I had to think on this. I am in general less of a risk-taker than Mr. Magpie and would never consider myself a daredevil in any category, but I have to say I believe I am a fairly adventurous eater, mainly thanks to Mr. Magpie. We both eat and drink nearly anything put before us.* I am specifically recalling anguilas (tiny, tender eels served as pintxos on bread) in Barcelona; just-barely-set fresh tofu with caviar at our last meal out in NYC at Contra; and a variety of forcemeats and sweetbreads and the like at the outrageously inventive Le Cou Cou (including their near-iconic navets en guise d’escargots, or “turnip, mussel and sea urchin disguised as snails”).
But I was not always this way. Before we were married, I was so hyper-aware of calories and so firmly on the salads-all-the-time bandwagon that I had tunnel vision looking at any menu. As we began to seriously date, I learned that Mr. Magpie eats three square meals a day, and likes to have a protein, a starch, and at least one vegetable on his dinner plate. I slowly began to venture out of my comfort zone and then, almost overnight, our new marriage permanently varied my diet, as I wanted to be able to sit down and break bread with my new husband at the dinner table every night, and this meant accommodating his more balanced and diverse approach to meal-planning. I grew more comfortable with eating red meat and fried foods and all the things of which I’d deprived myself in pursuit of what I perceived to be a healthy lifestyle, and now here we are — a pair of omnivores willing to eat their way through any destination.
What about you?
*Except for beer. I am simply not a beer drinker, despite many attempts. I wish I liked it! It feels like the appropriate beverage for so many instances — seafood boils/clambakes, ballgames, porch sits, camping excursions — but it is just not for me.
**I always get requests for weeknight menus/meals/recipes. It is so hard to serve this up to you since Mr. Magpie does all the cooking at this point and so many of his recipes are blends of three or four sources, or his own creation, and he is very difficult to pin down on the specifics, I think because he is a perfectionist and skittish about mis-sharing the exact proportions or offering up a recipe before it’s tried-and-true. I’ll keep working on him because I think a “Mr. Magpie Cooks” series would be SO fabulous. In absentia, I will share the last few meals he’s created:
MARINATED SKIRT STEAK, ROASTED POTATOES, GRILLED PEPPERS IN VINEGAR AND OIL
EGGPLANT PARM, SAUTEED BROCCOLI RABE WITH GARLIC AND ANCHOVIES
GRILLED BURGERS ON SESAME BUN WITH THINLY SLICED RAW ONION AND ONE SLICE OF AMERICAN CHEESE (KRAFT), OVEN FRIES WITH MALT VINEGAR TO DIP, GREEN SALAD WITH GARLIC EXPRESSIONS DRESSING (IYKYK)
PASTA WITH CHERRY TOMATOES AND BASIL FROM OUR GARDEN — INSANELY FLAVORFUL…HE IS SO GOOD AT MAKING SAUCEY PASTA; IT’S SOMETHING ABOUT DEEPLY SEASONING YOUR PASTA WATER WITH SALT AND THEN RESERVING THAT STARCHY WATER TO MIX IN WITH THE COOKED PASTA
SERIOUS EATS’ FAJITAS AND ALL THE TRIMMINGS, INCLUDING HOMEMADE GUACAMOLE (LANDON LIKES HIS WITH TOMATILLOS IN IT), BLACK BEANS, RED RICE
+Just added one of these Stoney Clover-esque pouches to my cart for mini’s school backpack, for keeping her glasses, eye patches, bandaids, etc in one place.
I ALWAYS GET QUESTIONS ABOUT A FUR-TRIMMED UTILITY JACKET I BOUGHT FROM HARVEY FAIRCLOTH A FEW YEARS AGO — THIS ONE IS STARTLINGLY SIMILAR (AND JUST SO CHIC)
HOPING TO INVEST IN A STATEMENT MONCLER THIS WINTER — SOMETHING IN A FUN COLOR OR CHIC SHAPE (LOVE THIS ONE IN THE PINK) OR BOLD PRINT OR WITH GREAT DETAILS (LIKE THESE POCKETS)
P.S. More chic fall finds here. No. 6 clogs are flying already — I’ve had a few readers reach out to say they can’t find their size anywhere! Jump on these while you still can…
P.P.S. A full review of my favorite facial moisturizer and a few other well-hyped products here.
I’M A PEARL GIRL — WEAR PEARL STUDS ABOUT 90% OF THE TIME — AND ADORE THESE PALOMA PICASSOS WITH THE LITTLE BOTANICAL JACKET AND THESE CLASSIC MIKIMOTOS
A: Congratulations! This $40 ASOS steal is beyond adorable. I like that it’s white so you could splurge on a spiffy pair of dramatic shoes, or a patterned headband, or statement earrings, to totally customize the look. As an example, imagine it paired with these floral mules and these fun earrings in the blue.
In general, though, I tended to prefer non-maternity dresses that I could wear again post-pregnancy. I would have considered…
However, if the shower is later in your pregnancy, a proper maternity dress may be the only way to go. A few I like aside from the ASOS first mentioned:
A: So extra, I love it! I would pair with any white dress or white top/jeans situation in your closet, but especially things that look floaty and feminine to balance the heft of the shoes — something like this, this, or this. If you are more into prints, I would pair with this dress, this one, the Hill House mermaid print, or this SEA.
Q: Dress for early September wedding at a winery in rural America.
Q: Throw blankets that look good draped on a club chair but are actually soft and comfy.
A: I love the ones from my girlfriend Christina’s boutique, St. Frank. They are so elegant, come in great colors, and very soft! They are rather thin, though, so if you’re looking for something to curl up under, check out Chappy Wrap. People absolutely love these. (I’m eyeing one for my mom for her upcoming birthday to see what all the fuss is about — she loves to read in the afternoon and I thought this might be a cozy addition to her routine.). I especially love this Hermes-looking one. I also like the look of these thermal-knit throws in the pretty blue or ivory hues — I feel like I would never get out from beneath it! — and then of course there are weighted blankets that people LOVE. The ones from Bearaby are chic, too!
Q: Comfy sandals for trekking around D.C. Trying to get out of a sneaker rut!
A: I have honestly worn my Hermes Orans close to every single day this summer. I’m like a broken record, but these have been such a good investment for me in classic saddle brown. They go with everything and soften with time. For something less expensive, I haven’t worn this exact style, but I have a pair of flip flops from the same brand that I swear by, and I love the elegant/understated look of this pair. They would go with everything from shorts to dresses and just blend in.
Q: A weekend trip to NYC in September — looking for outfits that are pretty but practical.
A: It will probably still be warm, so I’d pack midi-length dresses (maxis can be tricky in the city, i.e., going up and down subway steps / avoiding puddles and street muck) that you can wear with flat sandals during the day and heels/statement earrings in the evening. NY is great in that you can literally wear anything and feel totally at home (no one will ever eye you as if to say, ‘why are you so dressed up?’), so feel free to dial up the flash factor — try a print if you usually do solids, try a tiered style if you’re normally a little nervous about that, etc. A few dresses I’m loving at the moment:
If the weather does drop, pack a statement cardigan to wear over any of these (I shared a bunch of great ones here) or this adorable denim jacket that is currently in my cart.
P.S. If you’re looking for recs, our favorite restaurants are at the bottom of this post, and some favorite destinations here.
Q: A toddler boy (size 18M-2T) daytime wedding outfit in the fall. Attire is cocktail.
A roundup of adorable children’s finds for you today, mainly inspired by the aesthetic of the Banwood Bike (seen above) my parents-in-law just bought mini! She is four and a half and we decided to totally skip the balance bike (seen below) and go with a 16″-wheel bike, which comes with training wheels. My MIL and I could not resist that precious wicker basket in the front, and the great saddle leather seat — the bikes come in such good colors! Beyond. They bought micro the IIMO balance bike in red, which has a slightly sportier vibe, but is equally stylin’. Anyhow, a few other pieces inspired by this throwback/neutral vibe:
+Mini owned this dress in a different print and I was devastated when she outgrew it — the scalloped collar and cinched wrists! Meep! I bought her a size 2T and then had her wear it with leggings when she was 3 to extend its life.
Imagine for a minute some alternate universe in which everyone was invited to a year of cost-free, compulsory education at some point in her adult years with a guarantee that you could return to your current job at the end of it with no penalty, if you so chose. What would you elect to study? Something to advance your current career path? Something to help with a complete career change? Something hobby-oriented? Something you wish you knew more about? Something you always regret not studying?
I half-wish I would say something practical, like accounting, which might be technically helpful as a self-employed entrepreneur. And I half-wish I would say something esoteric, in the realm of philosophy or theology, which might challenge me to think outside of the constructs in which I move so comfortably.
But I would 100% go back for more literature, possibly high modernism again or maybe fin de siecle or less predictably Gothic, which has long interested me as a mode rather than a period of time. (There are several first-rate Gothic novelists that write now, Ruth Ware chief among them. And looking a few decades back, many consider “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” a quintessentially Gothic text. There are entire conferences about it!)
My brother is a published academic (you can find his book on Herman Melville and ecology on Amazon!) and when I read what he writes, it’s as if gears in my brain are slowly creaking into motion after years of rust and disuse. It would be invigorating to oil that machinery, to rescue it from obsolescence, to more nimbly move between text and theory, to draw from a deeper well of reference and critical thought. I think a year of focused study would inform and improve writing work, too: when I read great books, I find, to borrow from Seamus Heaney, “the air around and above me alive and signalling.” Everything, in the words of Nora Ephron, becomes copy. And I mean that in the least clinical of interpretations. When I read well, the world around me swells with invitation. Metaphors present themselves. Stories unfurl, unbidden. I tumble into the open-handed wideness of language.
What about you? What would you study if a year of no-strings-attached, elective, cost-free education presented itself?
Post-Scripts.
+I see this query as distinct from my earlier thoughts on what I would study in college if I could do it all over again. I am still unsure on whether I would advise my children to pursue a degree in the humanities. English is not wool-gathering, but it makes for a challenging transition to the working world. I do still so value the great gift of my degrees in English, the “or maybes…the accommodation of a multitude of narrative possibilities. English trained me to look at a single word and ask: “but why this one?” and to recognize a certain rhyme scheme and ask “what if it were another?” I am forever shaped by the way those questions both exact and forgive.”
+These coasters are brilliant — they absorb condensation! Come in tons of patterns/prints, but I love the sea creatures. I discovered these via my friend Grace.
+Wanted to update on the toddler backpack search — I shared some initial finds here, but I think I’ve narrowed the options for mini down to this Paravel (which you can have personalized, or personalize yourself with patches like these) or this Cam Copenhagen. I like that both are small and super lightweight on their own. And, of course, blue for my blue-loving gal.
+Now on my makeup lust list: Saie’s Sun Melt (cream bronzer).
+Outdoor side table — comes in a great blue, along with a few other colors. And don’t forget this $120 set of two patio chairs and table! Love the colors!
+These are my favorite dishes for children — microwavable, dishwasher safe, with sections that are the perfect depth (deep enough to hold applesauce/yogurt/soupy things). Come in the best colors, too!
