I read a quote two or three weeks ago that has sat uncomfortably with me for awhile:
“People-pleasing is an unconscious attempt to control someone’s opinion of you.”
Initially, I bristled at the idea that accommodating someone else’s wants, needs, or preferences was in some way self-serving, or self-aggrandizing. If anything, people-pleasing seems to me akin to self-erasure! I think back on my teenage self and feel my “people-pleasing” instincts were a manifestation of politeness at the expense of backbone, or lack of confidence, or fear of rocking the boat rather than a subtly nefarious desire to control another person. However, I’ve been riding this rodeo too long to know that when something nettles me for weeks on end, there must be something deeper going on. (Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.) I’ve been wondering ever since whether there is some connection between my “people pleasing” tendencies in my teens and early twenties and my discovery earlier this year that I have on many occasions in my life assumed too much responsibility for things outside of my control. Is it all of a thread? Something about owning more than I can, or carrying more than I should?
Tangent: it seems as though there is a spectrum that runs from selfishness to self-care to empathy to people-pleasing. I suppose the ideal spot is, to borrow that quote from my sister that I’ve shared previously: “holding your needs in one hand and the needs of others in another,” i.e., right smack dab in the middle of self-care and empathy.
What do you think? Does this resonate? Have you ever been prone to people-pleasing? How did you move out of it?
+OMG – Little English just restocked their classic quilted luggage for littles (which I just mentioned here!) and are offering a monogram on ALL FOUR PIECES of the set for only $1 through this weekend (7/18). The discount appears in cart. A great way to get a tailored and personalized tote at a reasonable price.
+Only a few of these gorgeous dresses left — perfect for a Baptism, bridal luncheon, etc. Reads Oscar de la Renta to me.
+Three great, minimalist, cotton/canvas totes for summer: this Cuyana (looks like Celine to me), this Dagne Dover, and this Paravel (I got the one with blue and red stripes! SO chic — they also just launched a few new colors).
+Has anyone tried Hoka One One running shoes? Chic and I read a few reviews online that, despite the thick sole, they are ultra-light and great for running.
I am newly obsessed with the brand La Ligne, purveyor of gorgeous striped sweaters and perfect minimalist dresses. I was able to find a bunch of incredible pieces on sale that I wanted to share, and I have to say the striped sweaters in particular are a great buy. They are classic and never go out of style! They also work on chilly summer nights or in the dead of winter. Just eterna-classic!
I also am lusting after this perfect black smocked dress…on sale for 40% off. Should I pull the trigger?! I’m not even a black dress kind of girl (patterns and colors, pls and thank you!) but this is just tailored perfection.
When was the last time you felt truly happy? Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing?
It’s funny – with children, I find delicate slivers of that elated, full-to-the-brim feeling sprinkled throughout the week. I took my daughter on a “mama-Emu day” (Emu being a nickname we have for her) earlier this week: pediatrician for a wellness check and three (!) shots (!!), bagel shop for a car picnic, a haircut, the post office, then cupcakes as a reward. Amidst the moments of hesitation and the flood of vaccine tears and some plying on my part, the entire morning, I found myself glancing at her little flushed-from-the-90-degree-heat face in the rear view mirror as she narrated our journey: “Mama, are we in the city now?” “Mama, are we all the way to New York?” “Mama, why did we turn here?” “Mama, look at that big blue truck!” At one point, I looked back at her and there was cream cheese on her cheeks and her fingers were playing idly with her “Foxy” stuffed animal and her enormous hazel eyes were drinking in the whole world in enormous gulps. I thought my soul might burst out of my body. It was a near-delirious kind of happiness, the sort that leaves you laughing at inappropriate moments or smiling dumbly at the stoplight.
I feel similarly when rocking my boy to sleep, or during those unexpected moments of tenderness where he wraps his arms around me, or sprints over and takes my hand to show me something very important, like the sprinkler turning on in the backyard, or a spiderweb on a bush branch, or a plane flying overhead.
And, too, when my husband slips out of the bedroom when he first hears my son stir in the morning so I can continue to sleep, and yet I lay there, somewhere between awake and asleep, and I listen to his conversations and reprimands and laughs with our two children, and I think: this is good, God is good. And when he does those little husband things, with near-reflexive considerateness, not even out of conscious kindness, just — ho hum, this is the way it gets done for my wife! — like setting up my desk and desktop computer and new chair for me in my new office as a top priority during the move-in, and putting the non-shattered bedside table on my side of the bed (one was distroyed in transit — sob! — and he just, like, assumes that the broken one will be his), and figuring out — wordlessly — which day to take the garbage out to the curb, and bringing my glass of wine to me when I’ve left it downstairs, collecting condensation on the coffee table. And, too, when we are sitting together on our new patio after the children are down, talking about nothing and everything, the night spooling out in front of us into the still-shocking backyard, glittering with fireflies. Little dubloons of goodness that send my heart to the top of the flagpole and leave me wanting for nothing but more of him. (And one more, and one more, and one more…)
These are the little moments of glee, of near-reckless happiness, glimmering sequin-like throughout the drag and pull of everyday parenting and adulting which — let me be honest — has felt particularly leaden-footed these past few weeks, where, for example, all I need to do is empty this box into the medicine cabinet, or answer the phone call from the pediatrician, and yet there is chaos and rule-setting and cries for milk and bruises and the now-new process of defining boundaries in a now-new home. It has been a lot. Still, these tiny ducats of happiness gleam gold throughout.
Now that I think about it, is it possible to experience a full day of happiness? A full afternoon? Or does happiness always exist like this: in startling sips? I think back on a couple of fantastic trips, experiences, meals, special occasions, “golden hours,” and I feel as though maybe I’ve “rounded up” and written the entirety of the day off as “happy” when I’m certain, come to think of it, there were moments of stress or frustration or quietude tucked in there alongside the good. And what does it mean that I think about happiness as little dots along the seams of my days? What am I feeling when I do not experience that elation? Am I simply in neutral? I do not feel that my default state is on the negative side of the equation: I think that when I am not consciously sad or happy, I am sitting in a position of receptivity. Do you feel that way, too?
Shopping Break.
+Apparently clogs are going to be big for fall. I mean, I truly lived in my No. 6 clog boots last winter, but now I’m even eyeing actual clogs, like these, these, these, or these. What say you?
+I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love this label maker.
+I bought mini these $25 rainboots in blue — per her request for blue rainboots — and was surprised at how well they held up! Not as flexible rubber as Hunter, but nice! And the little hooks make them easy to pull on.
Mr. Magpie and I had the advantage of several months of lead time before our move to D.C. I have never experienced a move like this before — normally, the onset of a new job dictates moving logistics, and they tend to be accordingly harried and slapdash. This go around, we were able to set the terms, which abstracted some of the stress from the situation and enabled us to luxuriate in New York’s attractions prior to our departure. For those dwelling in NY or arranging an upcoming trip, sharing a few of the items on our tick list over the last few months:
+Empire State Building. Had never been and, frankly, it was lovely to be able to take it in under COVID protocols. We purchased timed tickets ahead of time, breezed through the exhibits, and spent about ten minutes circling the observation deck. It wasn’t quite what I had anticipated — “Sleepless in Seattle” and “An Affair to Remember” misled me into thinking you could walk in, jump on a set of elevators, and emerge on the deck? Instead, you must meander through a lot of indoor curations like cattle. When we did get to the top, I was struck less by the majesty of the city and more by the feeling of alienation from a city I thought I knew. Central Park looked so strange from that vantage! Still, an interesting take on the city. Did anyone else feel a little “smeh” about the expereince?
+Bemelman’s Bar at The Carlyle. The ultimate New York spot for a glass of champagne and live piano music. The walls were hand-painted by Ludwig Bemelmans (famed illustrator of the Madeleine series) and it is such a fascinating people-watching spot. (When we went, we overheard some entrepreneurs being pitched by a venture capitalist — yes, you heard that correctly. The VC was trying to win over the entrepreneur! I was desperate to know what the entrepreneurs had done to secure such fawning and attention!) The bar reopened just in time after a long COVID closure. You can secure reservations online. If you go, get dolled up!
+Mets Game at Citi Field. We went on the hottest day of summer and my poor pregnant sister was absolutely baking. We took lots of breaks in the concessions area. I personally think there are more attractive stadiums (Wrigley! Camden Yards!), but I love how easy it is to get out there from the city. Just hop on the 7 and you’re there!
+Sailboats at Central Park Conservatory Water. We made a big day date with friends of ours to sail the model boats in Central Park only to find that they are permanently (or semi-permanently?) closed. Womp womp. Instead, we let the children climb all over the Alice and Wonderland statue close by and then wander around Sheep Meadow.
+Picnic on the Great Lawn. Sheep Meadow is probably the most densely-packed open area for picnics in Central Park, but we grew to prefer the Great Lawn, which is slightly quieter, though then you have to contend with errant balls from the baseball diamonds there. Both do not permit dogs, which was a relief given that my children often wanted to run around shoeless in the grass. The Great Lawn has a spectacular view of the cityscape and is surrounded by gorgeous trees that are unreal in spring and fall especially, but gorgeously lush in the summer, too. We enjoyed a final Father’s Day picnic there, bringing treats from Salumeria Rosi and a bottle of rose. To be honest, this one was a little more difficult to appreciate given that we spent large swathes of nearly every single day at the Great Lawn while in peak COVID quarantine last summer, so it lost its luster a bit for us, but approaching the picnic with intention and gratitude helped me step out of my zone and realize what a magical spot it is, right smack dab in the middle of Manhattan.
+MET Museum. You could spend days here and still have more to see. The Frick is probably my favorite art museum in the city (small and impressive collection — I especially love the Sargents they have!), but we didn’t make it back there. MET is iconic and I thought it would be more interesting for my children. (I was wrong — they were pretty bored. Haha.)
+NY Historical Society. We went for the exhibit on Katherine Graham (CEO of the Washington Post). I mainly like this museum because it was walkable to us and they have small, focused exhibits on super narrow / super niche subjects, though I was underwhelmed by the Graham curation. The first room was a lot of text on walls that could have been read online, and the second room presented outfits worn by celebrities and dignitaries to the famous Black and White ball, which was apparently thrown in Graham’s honor. It was a strange setup for the inaugural exhibit in a new wing of the NYHS dedicated to showcasing pioneering women. I felt as though the design was problematic — half of Graham’s exhibit was about a social ball and the outfits worn, which seemed ill at ease with the general thesis of the previous room (that Graham was a bold businesswoman) and the wing’s purpose in general. I also felt that the exhibit did not explore some of the more interesting themes worth contemplating, i.e., Graham’s father purchased the newspaper with no background in the journalism business and then Graham took over with a commensurate lack of experience in publishing, yet Graham was taken to task for her lack of know-how and her father was not. Such interesting gender dynamics there, and the entire subtext of privilege/inheritance, too. Anyway, there was so much meat on the bone but the exhibit did little to provoke or stimulate conversation. But I digress. I still feel this is an interesting venue for taking in small sips of information.
+92nd Street Y — The Y was still doing mainly online programming when we left so I wasn’t able to complete this one on my list, but I have several fantastic memories attending programs and readings here and urge you to check out their in-person offerings once things are back in full swing. I’ll never forget the night my sister and I went for an In Memoriam poetry reading after poet Mary Oliver passed away. The evening was lowkey — the auditorium was not even full! — but was emceed by Maria Shriver and Hillary Clinton unexpectedly stopped by to read one of Oliver’s poems, too. My sister and I were just sitting there, blinking, from two or three rows away. The most powerful moment of the evening, though, was when Oliver’s caregiver stood and received a standing ovation for her tender care for HRH Oliver in the final years of her life. So incredibly moving, and such a powerful reminder of all of the wonderful people that make our worlds go around with little praise or acknowledgement. I still get chills thinking about it! I think Oliver would have appreciated the moment — its fairness, its tender-heartedness, its dignity.
+Jane Carousel, DUMBO — Such a fun day for the little ones. The carousel looks out towards the Brooklyn Bridge. Afterwards, we had pizza and ice cream. There are tons of amazing restaurants (and a new “food hall” with fun/high-end eats) there.
+Despite my grumblings on this front, we did make it down to the turf-covered plaza in front of the Metropolitan Opera. Much to my surprise, the kids loved it. For 15 minutes. But, it was convenient to let them run around before brunch in the area.
+Camp Toy Store — This was a last-minute, last-week-in-NY impulse decision influenced by a girlfriend who had been there the day prior, but Camp just opened up a spectacular new toy store at Columbus Circle and you can buy tickets to avail yourself of their many art stations on the second floor. There are toys to paint, a splatter room, splatter art, tie-dye, etc, etc. My children loved the art stations but I think they loved the toy store itself even more — there’s a little “race track” where kids can test out toys with wheels, a disco room covered in sequins, a car parked in the middle of the store that children can climb into, press buttons, and loads of well-curated toys. They were in heaven! Such a fun activity for a rainy day. I think we could have spent a few hours there.
+Intrepid Museum — We had been once before but I took the children and they absolutely loved this permanently-harbored navy aircraft carrier. One of the floors of the museum is child-centric, and my children could climb into cockpits and space shuttles. They loved it! Strongly recommend, even though climbing up and down the narrow ladders of the boat itself were too difficult for a two and four year old. No worries, though — just checking out the planes on the top deck, the Commander space ship, and that child-centric floor were enough to keep us busy for a good long stretch.
+So, so many great meals out the last few months — highlights for me were aperitivi at Bar Pisellino, burgers from Red Hook Tavern in Brooklyn, donuts from WildAir (sandwiches are fantastic, but if you can get your hands on their sure-to-sell-out donuts, DO IT), and dinner at Contra (our farewell dinner, and it was so inventive, so memorable, and so NY! If you go, do not miss the soy and caviar dish. One of the most unusual and tasty dishes I’ve had in a long while!). We also ate at a lot of our favorite neighborhood joints (many of them detailed at the bottom of this post), and I especially enjoyed the delicious pork and chive dumplings and spicy beef noodle soup at Vanessa’s, which I think we ordered once a week for the last few months…
+Other activities we’d already completed within the last year that I would add to this list if you’ve not yet done them, all doable under COVID protocols: Storm King Art Center, lunch at Blue Hill at Stone Barns (so worth the trek and expense — absolutely one of my favorite meals we had in NY), Bronx Zoo, Central Park Zoo (Emory virtually lived there when she was an only child and we lived closer to it, but we made many excursions there with both children, too), High Line (very touristy/crowded pre-pandemic but not bad now, especially if you start your day at the Whitney Museum and then grab something to eat down there before walking up the high line with a coffee), Chelsea Market (there is a great seafood shop in there, The Lobster Place, which we bought most of our seafood from while living in NY, and a great butcher, Dickson’s Farmstand Meats, where we bought most of our meat!), Eataly (just so fun, and we also did a lot of our shopping here), Madison Square Park (mini’s school was close to this park; there’s a great playground there, lots of green space to roam around, and a Shake Shack right in the park for a glass of wine / snack of fries), Natural History Museum, Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, and The Ramble (a forested area just north of the Pond — it feels like you are miles from Manhattan tucked away in there!).
I know I missed loads of amazing things to do in NYC, especially outside of Manhattan. Please chime in with recommendations!
+Going to be doing a utility-oriented post about lots of finds like this for our new home, but wanted to share this clever broom set-up: you buy the handle and can screw on tons of attachments. I’m strangely excited about the deck brush attachment, which I plan to use on our flagstone porch before we have company.
+Speaking of the new digs: currently itching to buy everything but biding my time and knowing that working slowly (and with the help of an interior designer in certain areas) will be the best strategy. Still, I have been angsty about getting the family room sorted. We are planning to buy a sectional and then I keep gravitating towards an upholstered ottoman as a coffee table. I think I’m crazy because I know it will get stained in a second, and you’ll need to use trays to keep items on top of it, but then again I just love the look…
+This dress looks supremely easy to wear on an everyday basis in the sweltering and humid D.C. area temps.
My favorite finds this go around. I don’t yet have access so have instead added items to my wish list in anticipation…
(01.)STOKKE TRIP TRAPP HIGH CHAIR — If I could go back and do it over, this is the only piece of baby gear I would swap out for what I purchased. I just love the look of this chair. Envious that my sister is buying one! I like the gray color that’s been discounted. So chic!
(02.)FP OVERSIZED DISTRESSED SWEATSHIRT — Have had my eye on this for awhile. Would wear tone-on-tone with Lululemon Aligns, i.e., the FP sweatshirt in green with the Lululemon olive green Aligns, or the sweatshirt in pink with the violet colored Aligns.
(03.)CHANTECAILLE FAUX CILS MASCARA — Many people have raved about this crazy expensive mascara. I’m going to see if my mom wants to go in on this two-pack with me so we can both test at a discount!
(04.) DAGNE DOVER ORGANIC COTTON TOTE — Love this unfussy but highly practical canvas tote. Would be great for children, gym, or work.
(06.)RAG & BONE FELT FEDORA — I saw this and immediately added to my cart. I think this would be so chic for an outdoor activity this fall…apple picking? Fire pit hang with wine? So chic with a fall dress or jeans and a fantastic sweater (currently hoping to get my hands on one of the ones from Alice Walk).
(07.)BOBBI BROWN EXTRA LIP TINTS — Mentioned these so many times over the years, but my favorite balm-with-a-little-extra-tint situation for everyday wear. Glides on, non-sticky, and affords just the tiniest bit of color. Can be applied without a mirror, which is a pre-req for me most days.
(08.)NUNA RAVA CARSEAT — Hoping this doesn’t sell out before I gain access to the sale, but we are super impressed with this carseat for mini and can’t wait to buy micro’s. ICYMI, the headline here is that the seat cushion can be fully removed and tossed in the laundry. Crucial for me. Their infant carseat (which we loved) is also on sale!
(09.)LITTLE GIRAFFE BABY BLANKETS — Both of my children love these ultra-soft, ultra-thick blankets. Hill still sleeps with his every single night.
(10.)SHERPA TEDDY COAT — Love these on a baby. So sweet. Darling gift, too!
(11.)ON CLOUDFLOW RUNNING SHOES — Heavily hyped! Every time I mention a running shoe, I remember that many of you have urged Magpies (and me) to go to a running store to get properly fitted, and I think that’s good advice. However, for the only-occasional runner, this is a good deal on a shoe that many people LOVE.
(12.)EZ PZ FEEDING MATS — OK, let me be honest about this one, because it has its pros and cons. I was SO obsessed with these mats when mini was between the ages of 1-2 because it would suction and stay put on her high chair tray and prevent food flinging / dropping. It also made it easier for her to scoop food out by herself since the bowl wouldn’t be slipping all over the tray. I also LOVE the colors, size (not too big!), and simple design. However. I do think that silicone products absorb the smell of dishwasher detergent to a distasteful degree. (Taste your child’s food next time you’ve run a silicone bowl through the dishwasher!). I think this issue could be mitigated if you hand-wash using unscented dish soap (I loved Dapple for hand-washing bottles — works just as well as Palmolive IMO but no scent, and I think it would work well in this situation, too), but not sure if anyone is up for that? Maybe there are unscented dishwasher pods?! Anyway, just a flag on this one. I do think they are well-designed, just be aware of the smell issue!
(14.)OLD SKOOL VANS FOR A TODDLER BOY — Micro had a pair of these in red that I thought looked fun/slightly edgy with his otherwise pretty straight-laced/preppy wardrobe. Imagine with tiny dark wash jeans and a navy gingham button-down.
HANKY PANKY UNDERWEAR — The time of year I stock up. Usually you can only find Hanky Panky on sale in bad colors or garish prints. This is not the case with the Nordstrom sale. I think I’ll just buy multiple pairs in the “desert rose” (nude) shade to wear under all my summer dresses.
CLARE VIVIER CROSSBODY — Great fall everyday bag, especially for my urban mamas hoping to remain hands-free. Snakeskin is like a more interesting neutral. Goes with so much more than you think! If you don’t like the color of the strap, swap out for one of these inexpensive ones from Etsy. I did that with a bag last fall and was IN LOVE with the result. I matched my strap to the red color of my Canada Goose coat and it made me feel so pulled together.
I have been seriously lusting after layered gold necklaces lately — especially gold coin necklaces! You can take a shortcut to the look by buying a set that comes paired…
And on the bolder end of the design spectrum when it comes to necklaces, still salivating over this Lizzie Fortunato and the cheerful rainbow styles from Roxanne Assoulin.
P.S. What are you reading? If you need some inspo, I have a ton of posts on books here. I’m currently on a mental vacation, reading this heavily touted beach read.
Thank you to the reader who pointed out that my beloved Serena & Lily Blake dresser was just marked down — $1,000 off! I wrote extensively about this dresser in a post a week or two ago. It is so good. A few other fantastic finds that are a part of the tent sale:
P.S. Seriously jealous of those with early access to the Nordstrom sale because I’m worried this Nuna carseat will sell out before I can buy it! We bought this exact carseat for mini but were waiting to buy one for micro so it wouldn’t clutter our NYC foyer before the move. (Micro was using this excellent and very lightweight travel carseat in the meantime. Cannot recommend it more, especially for airplane travel. It is SO light, you can lift it with one hand, but gets excellent safety reviews. Did I mention it’s somehow only $60?!). I can tell you now that the Nuna carseat is WONDERFUL because mini often gets carsick and did so on the drive to DC last week and YOU CAN REMOVE ALL OF THE CARSEAT COVER AND LAUNDER. Game changer for us.
I was steeling myself to take my two sick and exhausted children to a 7:45 p.m. doctor’s appointment on my own — the last slot available that particular day in the pediatrician’s “fever clinic,” which I presume to be a new feature of our COVID-hardened world: keep the ill children separate from the ones seeking routine vaccines and wellness checks. Sane and appropriate, but wildly inconvenient. Not only had we had to struggle through a day caring for unwell children without any diagnosis, but my children are normally in bed by seven and asleep by seven-thirty, and yet there I was, prolonging their feverish day and dreading what was to follow: nasal swabs, the pushback of my four-year-old, my two-year-old’s ambitiously wrangling body exploring every nook and cranny of the examination room while the doctor would, inevitably, be running late given that we had inherited the absolute worst time for a doctor’s visit. (Every parent knows that the later the appointment, the longer the wait.) I am not above admitting I was dreading managing the visit on my own, without the extra hands of my husband.
Around seven, the office called and informed me we could come in early. Out of the blue, just before hanging up, I asked: “Oh, wait — is it still the policy that only one parent is allowed in per visit?” “No, m’am, you can have both now.”
Two unexpected wins, the latter perhaps the best news I’d had in months.
We put on shoes and foisted on masks and flew out the door, and as we walked underneath the scaffolding on 86th Street, I watched my husband pantomime exaggerated surprise when a pigeon flew over his head, sending my four-year-old into hysterics.
Of all the moments,
Of all the years,
I almost burst into tears just then, with my husband’s frame silhouetted against the Manhattan streetlights and my daughter’s surprised laughter jostling her from the slope of malaise.
How spectacular, to walk through life with someone else who not only shoulders life’s burdens but makes light where there is little.
+This plaid dress is under $80 and feels very Doen. I like that it could work into fall…
+This $128 floral top is tres chic tucked into a white midi or paired with denim.
+I can hardly believe I’m writing this, but back to school has been on my mind lately. I used this reversible pennant (you can pick the colors!) that say “first day / last day” last year and will continue to use with my children. Love that it does not designate the year so you can use every year from now til college.
+I alternate between hair primer/detanglers, but have really been loving my return to Dry Bar’s Prep Rally lately. It makes my hair feel so smooth and silky when used before the Revlon 1-Step.
Are you traveling anywhere soon? I feel as though everyone I know is jet-setting ASAP and AMAP (as much as possible) to make up for lost (COVID) time. We are beginning to plan for the possibility of a brief getaway for our eleven year anniversary and then a wedding in October, too. I am hoping we will finally be able to get away for a proper vacation — just Mr. Magpie and I — in 2022, and we already have a big summer beach trip planned with the children next summer in addition to my sister’s deferred nuptial celebration. Lots to look forward to!
A couple of new travel-related finds I wanted to share while so many of us are getting back into the travel groove:
THIS HAT HOLDER IS BRILLIANT — YOU CLIP IT ON THE SIDE OF YOUR BAG/SUITCASE SO YOU CAN TRAVEL WITHOUT CRUSHING YOUR HAT
THIS EVERYTHING POUCH — GENIUS FOR DAY-OF TRAVEL (ALSO WOULD BE GOOD FOR A MOM TRAILING KIDS IN CENTRAL PARK PLAYGROUNDS…KEEP ALL VALUABLES ON YOU IN ONE CONVENIENT CROSSBODY)
LUSTING AFTER THIS TRAVEL WALLET IN THE GORGEOUS BLUE SHADE — SO SMART FOR KEEPING VACCINE CARD, COPIES OF ITINERARY, TICKETS, ETC IN ONE PLACE
ARE THESE NOT THE CHICEST LUGGAGE TAGS?! GOYARD-ESQUE
MENTIONED THIS RECENTLY BUT JUST ORDERED ONE OF THESE BEAUTIFUL LEATHER COSMETIC BAGS — LOVE THAT THE SIZES ARE SOLD SEPARATELY; VERY SIMILAR TO CUYANA, WHICH ARE ONLY SOLD AS SET
STILL A FEW OF THESE WILDLY POPULAR COSMETIC TRAIN CASES FROM NEELY AND CHLOE X JULIA BEROLZHEIMER AVAILABLE HERE!
HAVE BEEN EYEING LITTLE ENGLISH’S QUILTED LUGGAGE SETS FOR BOYS AND GIRLS FOR AWHILE…SO SWEET! I THINK MINI MIGHT HAVE OUTGROWN SOME OF THEIR DESIGNS, SO THESE CUTE DUFFELS MIGHT BE MORE OUR SPEED AT THIS STAGE
TRULY LOVE MY ROWENTA STEAMER AND IT IS COMPACT ENOUGH TO TRAVEL WITH! (EVEN COMES WITH A LITTLE CARRYING POUCH)
ALWAYS TRAVEL WITH A “LAUNDRY BAG” TO KEEP THOSE ITEMS SEPARATE FROM CLEAN CLOTHES…ESPECIALLY ESSENTIAL FOR MESSY LITTLE ONES
STILL CONTEND THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST TOTE BAG FOR TRAVEL WITH LITTLE ONES…IT WEIGHS NEXT TO NOTHING AND HOLDS AN ASTONISHING AMOUNT! THE ZIP TOP IS CRUCIAL!
…BUT IT TIES WITH THIS QUILTED BACKPACK (ALSO WEIGHS NEXT TO NOTHING AND CONVENIENTLY BOASTS TWO WATER BOTTLE HOLDERS, ONE FOR EACH CHILD); SO NICE TO BE “HANDS-FREE!”
I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE LATTER PICK BECAUSE IT HAS DIFFERENT SHAPES/TYPES OF BOTTLES FOR DIFFERENT FORMULAS, AND HAVING ALL THE DIFFERENT COLORS MAKES GRABBING THE RIGHT TUBE A CINCH
STILL HAVE TO RAVE ABOUT OXO’S TRAVEL WIPES CONTAINER…SOUNDS SO RIDICULOUS BUT I REPLENISH THIS WITH THE BIG BOXES OF WIPES WE HAVE AT HOME AND THE CONTAINER KEEPS THE WIPES FROM DRYING OUT! ALSO LOVE THE LITTLE TOGGLE TO CLIP ONTO THE STRAP OF A BAG
HAVE COMPLETED THREE RECENT CAR TRIPS IN HILL HOUSE NAP DRESSES…CONVINCED THESE ARE THE MVP FOR TRAVEL ANYWHERE…LIGHTWEIGHT, FLATTERING, LAYERABLE, BREATHABLE, CHIC
I shared these details earlier this week, but we bought outdoor dining furniture for our new home this past weekend: this expandable teak table and a few sets of these chairs with the yellow and white stripe sunbrella cushions added. The table won’t arrive until the end of August, so we’ll be using this supremely well-made folding table in the interim, which we’ve toted around with us since Chicago days. (Trust me, it’s good — the Wirecutter’s rec.) We have a covered porch, so I cannot wait to eat every possible breakfast, lunch, and dinner al fresco, as weather won’t really be an issue. Hooray! I think there is still space on the porch (which spans the width of the house) for additional seating beyond the wicker couch set we have, or possibly for an outdoor bar cart or side board or something like that, but I’ll be waiting until we’ve lived in the space to figure out what we’d prefer. (I.e., are we always dragging extra chairs out from the dining room? Would we want a convenient spot to set up a little bar area, or hold plates that are going down to the grill? Etc. We could also always get some less-expensive but fun stackable chairs to keep on hand…)
This past week has loomed liminal. Everything in our apartment, and in our life, is partway-packed, partway-done. We don’t want to throw away the nearly-depleted tubs of condiments in the fridge, as we “might need them in the next few days.” I can’t quite pack for the 48 hours we’ll have all of our belongings in boxes because I will need my makeup, and my hair blow dryer, and the children need their sippy cups and sound machines, before packing day. Instead, I have a few piles of bags and boxes haphazardly filled with items we do not want packed — items of sentimental value, important documents, the Hermes scarf Mr. Magpie gave me on the eve of my son’s birth. Even those feel inadequately organized, and I am certain there are other items I have forgotten about that I would be devastated to lose. (Just writing that sentence, I sprang up in search of the rosary my grandmother gave me on the occasion of my First Communion.). Most of our belongings are still where they always are, as we have hired a company to do a full pack of absolutely everything in the apartment, but this hasn’t stopped us from trying to organize/simplify/regroup items so that they are boxed in a logical way. (I.e., I don’t want to find pens, or toys, in every single box!). So even things that are “out” have been re-clustered and re-organized in foreign and inconvenient ways. (“Jen? Where are the napkins?!”)
I was showering last weekend and I wondered: “Should I just toss the loofah when I’m done?” Then: “No, you’ll take a few showers before move day.” Then: “Well, I can make do without. Better just chuck now, one less thing unfinished.” Then: “That is ridiculous! Why are you depriving yourself of a tool for the next week just to have something done?”
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But this has been me, desperate to cross things off and cinch with tape and push to the corner of a room.
It is hard for me to live halfway. We’ve talked on this blog about how difficult it is to accommodate the constant interruptions children introduce into everyday life. We’ve also talked about how parenthood tampers with the deeply-engrained “completion desire” that accompanies so much of what we do on a daily basis (and, in fact, governs a lot of the theory in game design/gamification). So imagine my current dismay at living in a nightmarish in-between space that constantly thwarts my hunger for the checked box, and that occasionally leads me to wildly irrational internal drama over whether or not to discard a loofah before its run its course.
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These are the grumblings of a woman ill-at-ease in transition. Are there truly people out there who can swing between the branches with grace and accommodation? I envy them. I am instead doing the best I can dialing in on the small moments of magic that have materialized in the midst of this week:
My daughter and I, lying in the tent in her bedroom, the sun illuminating its interior, her gorgeous hazel eyes studying my face:
“You know, some nice people from the moving company are going to come and put all of our things in boxes and then they will bring them down to our new house and we will set everything up again.”
“Even my stuffed animals?”
“Even your stuffed animals.”
“Even my underwear?”
“Even your underwear.”
This went on for a stretch, with her asking after increasingly minuscule items in her possession (Barbie doll shoes! Tub stickies! Crayons!), before she paused, scrunched up her face, and said: “Eeee! I’m so excited!”
Thank God for my four-year-old hype girl.
Post-Scripts: Baskets + Things.
+A girlfriend of mine presented a mother-to-be with baby gifts in a wicker decorative basket. She filled the bottom with new mom essentials, like Infant Tylenol, the Nose Frida, diaper rash cream (this is the best the best the best), etc. It was so thoughtful! Like, you never think you’ll need the Nose Frida until you do, and then you spend $30 on it at Duane Reade in a blind panic. (Speaking from experience.).
+Just added to my cart: al fresco dining ware, including bamboo cutlery. I am torn on melamine outdoor dining plates. Experience tells me to go with white (shows food so well, and never gets boring), so I am contemplating something like this bamboo-trim set, this wavy set, this scalloped set, or this beaded set and then adding in a couple of fun festive salad plates/cereal bowls to mix in. The Avenue has great patterns, including these blue botanicals and these green florals.
I estimate I went on at least two hundred runs through Central Park while living in Manhattan, the vast majority of them over the last nine months.
Two hundred opportunities to flee the concrete jungle, to feel startlingly alone, to remember what dew looks like on grass, to watch the sun rise or set on water, to observe those lissom, near-invisible transformations of the natural world as it inches between seasons that remind us that “this, too, shall pass.”
Is it mawkish to say that for three years, Central Park made living in Manhattan manageable, and that, for the past year, during the pandemic, it made living in Manhattan possible?
Today, we leave New York, and words fail me. In lieu of unvarnished prose: an unpolished journal of photographs taken while running through her the past many years.
