01. // How chic is this $17 velvet jewelry travel organizer?! So chic and in such great colors! A nice compact size — would be great for even bringing to stow jewelry while working at the gym, or for the occasion where you want to take off your rings/bracelets at the desk at work (which I always did).
03. // Was just thinking it might be fun to buy a few of these cheerily-colored corkscrews to bundle with a bottle of wine when stopping by a friend’s home or invited over for dinner.
05. // Poor little man got the worst blisters during our family portrait, and I bought him these fun monster-printed bandaids to help. He is in love with them! Other patterns available, too.
06. // An unexpected and fun grosgrain ribbon for tying off little packages of summer treats. (Imagine wrapped around the wine with one of the aforementioned corkscrews tucked in!)
12. // Lacoste polos for toddlers — I have had such good luck finding micro Lacoste polos for at or under $32 on Amazon. Just keep checking back; some days, they are crazy discounted!
Posting this early to give us time to prepare our orders for Hill House’s nap dress “Mermaid Collection” launch today at noon EST. In the past, certain styles have sold out in minutes so I show up with my order planned, add to cart, and check out STAT. If you are new to the nap dress world, these are ultra-soft, ultra-comfortable, non-restrictive dresses that can be worn as nightgowns but work just as easily for drinks out on the town. I am sharing the line sheet below, but am personally debating between the Ellie or one of the brand new nap dress styles, the Akilah (can be worn off the shoulder or on) in the mermaid print, which is such a fun and unexpected pattern in cheerful colors. They will also have children’s sizes in the Ellie to match for a mommy and me moment as well as a few other new nap dress styles, including the Lucy and Roxie, which are serving up major Juicy Couture in the early aughts vibes (I for SURE had a very similar terry coverup from Juicy in hot pink in college!) And they have expanded to offer a few separates and accessories. I have my eye on one of the pouches (#pouchlife) and also absolutely LOVE their fun new desk sweater!
One of the insights from my brief stint in the “people tech / HR tech” space was that employees do not quit bad jobs — they quit bad bosses. Now, people management is difficult and requires vast reserves of patience, empathy, and thoughtfulness, not to mention nimbleness in the sense that it is rare that all team members respond to the exact same type of coaching, feedback, and management. There will be team members that perform best with a long leash and others who need much more scaffolding to succeed. Some respond to “tough love” and others need gentler feedback, delivered with a light touch. The best bosses, I think, are flexible in their approach and try new things constantly to get the best out of each individual team member. They also tend to have a rare mix of humility and steeliness: a great manager once told me that a key mindset for people management runs as follows: “All successes belong to the team and all failures belong to the manager.” Let your people claim the victories, but you must take responsibility for the disappointments.
Still, good managers are made, not born, and so it stands to reason that even folks who go on to be incredible leaders have missteps and periods of growth along the way, and it may be that you work for them while they are “in development.” And some people are simply not motivated or fulfilled by the challenges of management. It is far too common an occurrence that high performers are promoted into positions of management without any training or consideration of the dramatic change in responsibilities afoot. Just because someone is a fantastic individual contributor does not mean that she will be a fantastic manager of other individual contributors. In fact, I have had several good friends tell me that they wished they’d never been promoted. One friend told me he felt alienated from the work he’d once loved and from which he had derived a sense of pride and identity and regretted accepting the promotion, pay increase be damned. “I don’t do any actual work,” he complained. “I just tell other people to do it.” I remember gently suggesting that managing people is actual work, just perhaps not what his cup of tea. And that’s OK, too.
It’s strange, perhaps, to be writing about these workplace dynamics as the sole proprietor of a business I run entirely on my own. I sit in an ivory tower, reporting only to myself. (In my previous start-up, prior to hiring any additional staff, there was one morning where a customer called and asked me to “check with my tech people” on some specific question. I acquiesced, put my hand over the phone, and waited in silence for 30 seconds to pass before jumping back on: “OK, we circled up and…” I had been checking with “my tech people”: it was also me.) In some ways, this is easier, because I tend to carry awkwardness and missteps in relationships with other people heavily. The day I had to let my engineer go because we had decided to shut down the business was one of the most difficult days of my life. I did not sleep for several nights prior and had rehearsed what I was going to say in the mirror at least a dozen times. I remember pacing around our kitchen working up the courage to call and then working hard to avoid crying. That’s an extreme example, and one worthy of the hand-wringing that accompanied it because — my God! How horrible to be responsible for such an enormous upheaval in someone’s personal and professional life? — but I also regularly spent hours and hours of my work week thinking through how to respond to team members in various circumstances, worrying about how my words might have been perceived, fretting over the tone of email, etc. So to be honest, I don’t necessarily miss the emotional toll of managing other people. But it can also be lonely, navigating decisions on my own, and accepting that all successes and failures sit squarely on my own shoulders. And it is fun and exhilarating to build beautiful things with other motivated people, a lesson I learned while collaborating with some of the smartest people I have ever met in my past life in the non-profit world.
All in, “experience is a tough but effective teacher,” as one Magpie wrote on a post years and years ago. (Elsewhere, this quote is often written as: “experience is a hard teacher: it gives you the test first and the lesson after.”) Both ill-equipped bosses and mistakes as an inexperienced boss myself have shaped me for the better. I had a boss call me an idiot and throw papers in my face. That person also routinely forgot my name and referred to me instead as “the sidekick.” Those things were so egregiously and cartoonishly unkind that I almost had to laugh at them. Worse still: I had a boss who would ask me to do all kinds of things that were not in my J.D., none of which were fair or compensated, and some of which were honestly inappropriate for an individual in my position, like firing team members, writing up legal documents, and preparing speeches whose content I had not the faintest of authority to be commenting on, all on top of the ambitious stack of responsibilities I had signed up for. But you know? Those experiences earned me the grit and grace that have seen me through many hairy situations. Beyond that, even while I was young and mildly terrorized by those interactions with “authority,” I saw that it was all a tradeoff: I also had the rare and unlikely good fortune to be put in positions of leadership at a young age, and so I was determined to take the good with the bad. OK, tough boss, but I’m getting so much experience that I frankly have no right to claim! Harder to bear, though: my own failures as a manager, whether hurting someone’s feelings, shutting someone down, or — my most common foible — micromanaging. (Ugh! I was the worst at micromanagement! I know I have several former employees who read this blog and who can attest this, and I am sorry.) Still, though I regret the experiences of the individuals who worked for me while I was learning on the job, I believe I did improve with time and considered myself a competent manager by the end of my run. Experience truly has been a tough teacher.
What has your experience been with bosses, or as a boss yourself? Any lessons to share?
Post-Scripts: What to Wear to Work + Other Work Gear.
+Some great pieces for your return to the office (or next Zoom):
+Every woman, regardless of where she works, needs a “desk cardigan,” a term recently discovered via Nell Diamond of Hill House, who will be launching an ultra-cute desk sweater today at noon that is perfect for layering over nap dresses — or anything! It is often SO cold in office buildings, and you never know when a cool front might catch you unaware. A few favorites, in varying levels of formality…
+As a leftie, I also love notepads without binding to contend with — I just ordered this pad with my initials in shadow lettering and have this pad with our family name on the top in my cart. I also love having a stack of these unmarked white pads at my disposal for lists, sketches, doodles, notes.
+Structured notepads like these are also handy from time to time. I go back and forth from liking the structure to wanting white space.
+On that note, I have gone back and forth on my Day Designer. It is enormous — like a huge brick — which is not so much a big deal for me since I WFH permanently and don’t schlep it anywhere, but it is a little bit hard to write on at the bottom of the page because it is so thick. I also go back and forth on the structured format. There are periods of my life where I love the prompts and boxes to fill out when I’m feeling organized, and other periods I just want a blank page with the date at the top to configure as I’d like.
And in the sale section — you can’t miss this striped button down, on sale somehow for $30?! SO good! And there are also some cute gingham shorts for boys and girls marked down and with an extra 30% off to boot.
OH – and Frilly Frog is offering 40% off all Lila + Hayes today only (June 15) with code LILA40. Perfect time to snap up their coveted pajamas, bubbles, and dresses. This brand uses the best, most durable but soft cotton. Love!
*Image above not of our new house, but so gorgeous.
Last Friday morning, Mr. Magpie and I signed three thousand and forty nine legal documents, our signatures gradually degrading to the point of chicken scratch, and at one point, the attorney guiding us through the paperwork paused, a leaflet of papers in hand, and said:
“And now this document is magic. It’s called ‘delivery,’ and the minute you sign it, you become homeowners.”
It was driving rain outside, and we were in a nondescript office, and we’d been exchanging loose and distracted pleasantries with our real estate agent and the attorney, and suddenly the scribble of our pens on paper gave way to what I am considering a reward for the last ten years of hard work, adventure, heartache, multiple stressful and botched moves, missteps, homesickness, and wandering:
A home we plan to live in for, possibly, the rest of our lives.
I write those words and I feel my shoulders relax, and my breathing deepen and slow, and something inside me unfurls. Life will undoubtedly continue to throw us curve balls. There will be dips and curves and bumps and grievances and losses. But to feel as though I am ensconced in a place I love that is close to my parents and parents-in-law, to which my children can attach all of their memories of Christmases and birthdays and crab feasts on the back patio — to not feel the imminence of leases ending or renewing, to not have the persistent question of “but what if we moved…?” on the table, to not be peering a few years down the road wondering whether we need more space — is the most enormous and delicious relief. Mr. Magpie and I realized that we have moved every two years or so since the age of 18. That’s nearly half my life spent in impermanent perches. I am ready for the long haul. I want to dig in, paper the walls, commit to harvesting tomato plants, settle.
So, yes — the paper was magic in the sense of an immediate and unanticipated conjuring of a permanent difference in my life. On the other hand, not magic: signing that flimsy paper was the result of a grueling home-buying process, hundreds of hours of searching and planning and taking weekly Friday trips down to DC and back and all of the thousands of conversations that led us to want to leave New York in the first place, not to mention a pandemic that expedited the decision-making process on the heels of ten years of living in urban places that have gradually worn us down to the point of wanting to be, in the words of Mr. Magpie last Friday night, “out of the way.” I had mentioned to my parents that I had fleetingly wondered whether we would feel disconnected after the move, transitioning from living in right-in-the-heart-of-it NYC to “a tucked-away” neighborhood outside D.C. Mr. Magpie jumped in: “We’ve been in the way too long. I’m ready to be permanently out of the way.”
I’m ready, too. So that’s where we’ll be. In a magical home we earned not-by-magic, on a cul de sac in Bethesda, MD, fifteen minutes from my parents and twenty minutes from Mr. Magpie’s, permanently out of the way.
+I shared all my favorite restaurants in NYC here.
+I leaned heavily on the picks in this post for the nine hours we spent in the car the past few days.
Shopping Break.
+This dress is nearly sold out but such a great style for easy everyday wear — my Mom ordered it and specifically mentioned how much she loves this kind of dress for after playing golf, in the evenings.
+Also love this dress for similar reason — so easy to throw on!
+My MIL had this enormous giraffe sprinkler set up in her front yard with a sign that read: “WELCOME EMORY AND HILL” when we pulled up. How amazing is she?! (More backyard/pool toys here.)
+Shared some chic athletic finds for summer here, but two other pairs of shorts I’m eyeing for myself: these from P.E. Nation and these from On (on sale!)
+Just ordered these adorable bandaids to carry with me — my children are so rough and tumbly at the moment! Hill is literally never without scraped knees.
I am highly organized and I find pouches to be my saving grace. I think Truffle’s clear pouches (seen above) were like a gateway drug for me — I first bought one of their clarity pouches around a decade ago (?) and my life has never been the same since. Ha. I find their quality exceptional and clear pouches are genius because they make everything easy to find, and have amassed a collection of them over the years.
But there are many brands, styles, and variations on the pouch that are worth a gander. A few chic styles for keeping bags (lots of great summer ones here!), children’s rooms, and luggage tidy:
I USE THIS MONOGRAM APPLIQUE POUCH FOR CONVENIENT TRANSFER OF EPI (ESSENTIAL PURSE ITEMS*) FROM BAG TO BAG — IT MAKES ME HAPPY EVERY SINGLE DAY
I HAVE A FEW SIZES OF THE CLEAR POUCHES FROM TRUFFLE — I LOVED THIS BRAND WHEN I TRAVELED A LOT FOR WORK; USED ONE FOR TSA-APPROVED SIZES OF COSMETICS, USED ANOTHER FOR ESSENTIALS LIKE CARD CASE, KEYS, ETC, AND THEIR TECH POUCH FOR IPAD/PHONE
USE THESE CUYANA POUCHES FOR COSMETICS/SKINCARE WHILE TRAVELING BUT TBH THEY DO NOT HOLD AS MUCH AS I WISH THEY COULD AND I ALWAYS END UP WITH OVERFLOW ITEMS I STOW IN AN MZ WALLACE POUCH; STILL, LOVE THE STYLE — PRETTY ENOUGH TO KEEP OUT!
IN MY TEENS AND 20S, I USED ONE OF THESE VERA BRADLEY TRAIN CASE SETS WHILE TRAVELING AND WISH I’D HUNG ONTO IT — THEY ARE SO WELL-DESIGNED AND CARRY AN ABSOLUTE TON
SPEAKING OF TRAVEL, I LOVE THESE CLEAR SETS FOR LUGGAGE — MAKES FINDING ITEMS SO EASY
I USE THESE FOR PACKING FOR MY CHILDREN, IN TWO SEPARATE COLORS!
WITH THE RECENT HOUSE HUNT, I WAS ALWAYS CARRYING TONS OF PAPERS AROUND IN MY BAG — I BOUGHT THESE ENVELOPES TO KEEP DIFFERENT DOCUMENTS ORGANIZED BY CATEGORY
LOVE ALL THE FUN STYLES AND OPTIONS STONEY CLOVER HAS TO OFFER IN THE POUCH CATEGORY
**Unrelated to anything above, Hanky Panky underwear sets on sale for almost 50% off, and the BEST undereye concealer 15% off here. It is SO hard to find this concealer on sale! I’ll take any price break I can get…
P.S. We closed on our new home on Friday. Whew, what a whirlwind! Cannot wait to move in. This is what I anticipate missing most about New York, but the space (!) and amenities of our new home (!!) will make it all worthwhile.
P.P.S. We had family portraits taken last week. (Busy time for us.) I had never had this done before but OMG. Why was it so stressful?! Mini took a huge spill on the sidewalk in front of our apartment within minutes of starting the shoot, Hill developed three intense blisters and insisted on being carried, it was hot as Hades outside (humidity at 10000%), and at one point, I remember locking eyes with Mr. Magpie and wondering if we should just call it off. But we did ease into it and I think our photographer got some amazing snaps of us in Central Park and our favorite corner of the UWS. Some beautiful frames for these photos will be on order shortly.
Everlane sent me the cutest mini dress ($78 — I got it in white but the black would also be fantastic) and it is a total dream. I feel like the proportions make it look higher-end than it is (Ganni?), and I love the voluminous body and balloon sleeves. It is supremely easy to wear on a hot day with slides and hair up in a top knot. I took it in the XXS and it is very generously cut, but that’s the style. I surprisingly did not have to have it hemmed — it hits me a few inches above the knee and feels comfortably demure/not too short. I think I will be living in this!
P.S. More white dresses here, and my most worn-at-home dresses here.
The realtor representing the sellers from whom we are buying described our future home as “displaying pride of ownership.” The phrase couldn’t be more accurate. Everything about the house has been impeccably maintained, and the sellers even generously offered up a “guide” of sorts to the home, including tips, service history for appliances, paint colors, etc — the sheer existence of which demonstrates the loving care they have shown their home.
The phrase of “pride of ownership” has been percolating ever since. What a lovely thought, and not just within the context of real estate. Where do I demonstrate “pride of ownership”? What do I preen, nurture, maintain with devotion? In my 20s, Mr. Magpie once commented that I was “hard on my belongings.” I know what he meant. I was reckless with my clothes in particular — I did not take the time to separate colors in the laundry; I would wear an impractical white dress to a muddy outdoor event; I routinely disregarded laundering instructions; I strode satin shoes through the rain. I have come a long way over the last decade and a half. I have become increasingly dedicated to the admittedly annoying task of air drying items rather than running them through the drier to prolong their lives, and have become obsessive about stain removal. I wear sunscreen constantly. Since the start of the warmer weather this season, I have steamed my clothing daily. I blow-dry my hair every other day. Thanks to a Magpie tip, I launder performance fabrics separately. I run. I maintain all of my regular check-ups for dermatology, dentistry, general wellness, OBGYN, etc. I spend a fortune having items tailored– if I am wearing it, I want it to fit properly! I will not wear high heels if a long walk or cobblestones are involved. I keep bandaids in my purse. I keep my ring sparkling with this genius pen. I put jewelry back in their boxes or bags rather than letting them pile up in a dish on my bedside table. (This occasionally requires herculean effort on my behalf.) I check the weather. This last one is key: if there is even a remote chance of rain, or cooler temperatures, I completely change my planned outfit in the name of practicality. I am over wet feet and cold fingers and hemlines damaged by mud or wet grass. Just wear the anorak and rain boots, Jen! At some point in my 20s, I might have thought I was making a concession to practicality — “you’re forfeiting the perfect shoes because of a sprinkling of rain?!” Now, I am viewing it as something else: pride of ownership.
What do you think? Do you take care of yourself with something akin to “pride of ownership”?
Post-Scripts: Storage Solution.
+Such a clever and attractive solution for stowing spices in a small space! I used something very similar (but less attractive) in our old apartment to wedge alongside our washer/dryer. You’ll need to check the dimensions on this particular one, but it worked for stowing cleaning supplies and select laundry items (dryer sheets, etc) and was such a handy way to hide that stuff! (More great storage solutions here and here.)
+More summer athletic wear here! Note that some of the new Tnuck Sport items have sold out or are low in stock, but this gingham athletic skirt is still available!
+Thank you to the reader who sent along this wearable rosary bracelet. The Hail Mary has seen me through more tough times than I care to think about. A sweet gift for a fellow novena enthusiast.
+How amazing would this custom house portrait be as a gift for a homeowner displaying “pride of ownership” or as a memento of a home that is about to be sold?
A: I love this one. It is actually airtight (I also have several of the OXO pop containers and do not feel they have a good seal) and the terra cotta disc prevents the sugar from drying out! Genius.
A: I feel like a broken record, but on hot days, I live in nap dresses, SZ Blockprints caftans (don’t let the sleeves fool you — these are so lightweight and breathable), and sleeveless cotton dresses that are cut loose at the bottom like this, this, this, and this. Anything that allows air to circulate!
Q: Chinoiserie framed panel.
A: I had some fun picks here! The short answer is that Etsy is truly a gold mine for this sort of thing (and usually for less than you’ll find elsewhere, from bigger chain stores). The panels from this shop are probably a good starting point because the boutique has so many five-star reviews. However, you can also find options at One Kings Lane that come framed!
Q: Formal dress for my daughter’s Christening.
A: I received several questions along these lines for Baptisms/Christenings, some with sleeves, some white, etc., so am consolidating all my picks here:
+I have shared this Saloni several times on the blog over the past year, but it’s now on sale for 50% off and such a sophisticated pick.
+Blogger Emily at Born on Fifth did a recent collab with Dillards and several very pretty dresses from the collection were just discounted to $119 — this and this would be lovely possibilities for a Christening. (You can see the lovely Caitlin of Daily Cup of Couture wearing one of them here. Chic chic!).
+Shoshanna always has lovely, demure pieces that are appropriate for Church/dressy occasions, like this beauty or this one.
+A touch bolder, but this Zimmermann-esque Beulah is absolutely gorgeous, and it has long-sleeves and a high-neck to balance the shorter hemline.
+Sandro puts out lovely tweed/belted/shirtdresses that have a Chanel vibe season after season. I love this and this!
Q: Basic solid girl’s tops/t-shirts.
A: I like these from RL (form-fitting, which I like when paired with trim shorts), these from Target, and polos from Lacoste (size up) and RL (if in between sizes, size up in this style, too — runs a tad slim). If you like more of a sporty/unisex look, these pocket tees from Les Gamins come in fantastic colors.
Q: Kitchen island stools (preferably with backs).
A: I shared a bunch of favorites here (scroll to #6)! I am drooling over these and these.
Q: Gift for a soon-to-be big brother from his baby sister (arrive next month). He’s 3.
A: A Magpie wrote in to suggest a digital toddler camera so the big sibling can help with photographing the newborn and participate in that way. I also like the idea of a Janod doctor set (have given this as a gift several times and my children have loved playing with this set for two years now) — there will be lots of talk of doctors, hospitals, appointments for baby, check-ups, etc., and this can sort of facilitate or anchor those conversations…and then I’m sure big brother will enjoy giving his sister check-ups (supervised of course) as a lightweight way to “play” with the new sibling.
Q: Guest room bedding.
A: Boll and Branch sheets with a loud duvet cover/sham covers like this or this. (Let the duvet be the centerpoint of the room!)
Q: Under $500 blue rug (XL) for great room. Will be over hard wood floors.
A: I’ve written a few times that I’ve never found a fantastic undereye cream that actually does everything it says it will (e.g., erase undereye circles and fine lines). I have therefore gone the inexpensive route with this product category and use Olay’s Ultimate Eye Cream for moisturizing the area, though it does a little brightening, too. I like the formula. It’s thick but not greasy and absorbs nicely. However, I have been testing Clarins’ V Shaping Facial Lift Eye Cream over the last few weeks (full disclosure: Clarins gifted me a tube), and think I will stick with this one. It is totally different from an eye cream/product I’ve ever used. It’s a thin gel and you apply it with this cooling silver tip and then pat gently around the entire eye area. I truly find it tightens the entire area, and I like that it just sort of drinks into the skin and makeup applies wonderfully on top of it. Very, very excited about that discovery! However, I think that if you are just looking for an inexpensive cream that moisturizes nicely, Olay is just as good as products 3x its price.
Q: A 27th birthday gift for my bestie. Thinking a vase or pitcher.
A: So sweet! These handmade hobnail vases (under $100) are on my lust-list. Can you imagine with a few fresh peonies inside?! For pitchers, these from Sophie Lou Jacobsen are basically works of art, and these Amanda Lindroths are basically an invitation to sit outside with lemonade or sangria all afternoon. A reader pointed out that, sans handle, this pitcher would not be super functional, but how pretty on a brunch table with fresh juice?!
Q: 40th birthday dress (yikes) for a fun, out of town weekend with close friends in late summer.
Q: Raffia natural sandals. (Think Carrie Forbes.) But under $100!
A: These are dead ringers for Carrie Forbes, but under $50. Slightly over at $109 (though this site frequently runs promotions!), but Talbots recently sent me these and I find them SO easy to slip on with my everyday outfits. Go with everything and so comfortable. I also like this pair from them, also raffia!
Q: Chic flush mount for a nursery.
A: I’m always drawn to a scallop style for a girl’s room, like this or this. For a boy’s room, this rope style is SO fun, this comes in great colors, and this or this would add a little polish/gravitas to a child’s room.
Q: Floor length robe for post partum.
A: I also treated myself to a new robe post-partum. So practical and comfortable for layering over a nursing nightgown! I actually have this long robe in a cute star print in my cart at the moment — it just looks so inviting! It comes in other fun prints, too. This simple black style looks soft and sophisticated, too. This is not a floor-length style, but I keep hearing rave reviews of Parachute’s robe. I would stay away from waffle/terry robes because they are SO hot and I was always running hot postpartum!
Q: Fancy yet casual summer slacks that I can wear out to dinner or chasing kids.
A: I would go for these in black with a coordinating top. Ultra chic and could be paired with heels, but comfortable/practical enough to pair with sneaks while running after your littles. If you are a bit more adventurous, these printed trousers from Tory Burch would be fun! They have other prints, too!
Q: An all-white dress to wear to a US Open party.
A: My first thought was this Hunter Bell, which feels like a mix between a garden dress and a formal dress, which is kind of perfect for a tennis-related affair? But lots of other chic white dresses here, and if you want to commit to the theme, this dress is so cute. I also feel like I’ve seen this SIR dress popping up all over — the back is SO on-trend with that ruched strap! Similar look for less with this or this.
Q: Light blue sandal heels that are an investment, but not going to break the bank.
A: These LRs!!!! Have been eyeing them for myself for a long time, too!
Q: Beach photo dress — fitted in bodice but flow on bottom, white/blue/pastel palette!
A: This Wayf dress!!! So good. The print is gorgeous and I love those slim ties. I also adore this LSF and seriously considered this Caroline Constas for my own family portrait but ended up worrying that hemming it would ruin the proportions (I’m 5’0).
Q: Gift for a sister-in-law that just had a second baby.
A: A big bag of groceries with easy grab-and-go meal fixings (think sandwich fixings, fancy mustard, good bread), oatmeal pouches for a.m., and fun snacks (yogurt covered pretzels, chocolate raisins, gummies) OR some Lake Pajamas nursing pajamas, especially the kind with the buttons down the front. I also gifted myself this ring with my daughter’s initials and birth date on it right after she was born and it is one of my most treasured pieces of jewelry. (Also surprisingly high quality for the price — wear it close to daily and still looks amazing four years in.)
Q: White round kitchen table.
A: A tulip style can look very chic with a range of different types of chairs around it. This PB style is clever — not only does it have storage beneath but it has drop-leaf sides so could be configured differently for different spaces, for additional seating, etc.
By: Jen Shoop
I am in two books clubs and let me tell you — there has been close to nil reading happening in my house over the past few weeks. It’s not that I’m in a book rut. I’m reading interesting books — books I’m excited about, including this Ann Patchett! — but I find myself in one of those phases where I need to just close my eyes at the end of the day, or glaze over while watching one of my comfort shows for a few minutes before drifting into sleep, and I cannot marshal the faintest of energy to open my Kindle instead. At the same time, I find the prospect of not finishing a book before its appointed book club convening disproportionately unsettling. Do you remember the movie Casper with Christina Ricci? In it, there is a lot of talk about ghosts having “unfinished business” and the notion was delivered with such gravity that I remember turning it over with concern in bed at night as a girl. What did it mean, “unfinished business”? There was an air of the sinister about it. (Did I have any to worry about?) Now, I get it. The specter of an unfinished book, or an item not checked off my list, will trail me throughout my day, clouding an otherwise productive afternoon. In a certain sense, this solicitousness is a gift: I attribute no small measure of my successes in life (even the most trivial of achievements, like a hitch-free day trip to Brooklyn for which I’d packed my diaper bag perfectly) to over-preparation and dedication to detail. But in another sense: ugh. It is difficult to unwind myself from the minutiae that do not really matter.
This month, an alternative path materialized. I released myself from the expectation of finishing the books on time. I elected to pass on participating in my book clubs for the next month or two — maybe through the summer. It seems outrageously obvious typing it out here, but I am such a rule follower that I had previously not even considered it an option (!)
So I’m just here to say that if you are also contorting yourself or your evenings to accommodate something that should be fun, or that is elective, or that ranks trivial compared to other responsibilities, you can also give yourself permission to opt out for the time being. It is temporary. There is a Rilke quote that many of you Magpies have shared with me over the course of my writing this blog: “just keep going / no feeling is final.” We usually cluster around this quote when sitting with heavinesses and complexities that feel undigestable at the time: his are words that permit us to feel whatever we need to feel, to own the full gamut of emotions that the current situation elicits. I am not going through anything heavy (actually the contrary: happy! but frenetic), yet I find myself also warming my hands around the concept that this situation is temporary, and that none of its exhaustions or stressors are “final.” We will soon be on the other side, less busy, more situated, and life, and its book clubs, will resume.
+Weaning is hard. Thinking of all my mamas struggling with breastfeeding at the moment. Thinking so much of you. Sometimes you don’t want to hear “fed is best.” Sometimes you want everything to just work out. I am rooting for you.
A friend of mine asked for water shoe recs the other day and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I discovered an entire trove of Igor brand jellies on sale for $20 — these were my favorite summer/water shoes for mini when she was younger (seen above in Central Park!), and then I couldn’t find them anywhere the last two seasons. I’m not sure if they are discontinued and Aelxa + Alexa has all of the last stock or what, but they are currently available for $20/pair in pink, red, white, blue, and more. I prefer the style of these to a lot of the others out there — a tad more stylized/less clunky, and the colors are fantastic! Cute enough to wear with a little sundress, but perfect for putzing around at the splash pad.
We also always have a few pairs of Natives on hand in the summer — I like the sky blue on micro (coordinates with most of his swimwear) and the milk pink on mini (though another favorite pair from a season past was this brush stroke style). These are frankly just all-around the best summer shoe for a little one, TBH. They are ubiquitous for a reason. They are virtually indestructible, sturdy enough to run in, work in water, easy to get on/off foot, free of velcros/buckles/ties, and can be hosed down. These must have been designed by a parent!
For dressier occasions, these Footmates sandals are also waterproof and have a nice thick rubberized sole but to be honest, I find them hard for mini to run in. She will gallop into a full sprint and then totally wipe out when wearing these. But! Totally doable if you are going to be dressed up for something where there’s a potential your child might be playing in water. (At friend’s house with water table, for a beach wedding, a birthday party outdoors, etc.) I also just discovered these fun little Native-like loafers for little gents, or you can always do a Sun-San in the saddle brown color!
And speaking of waterproof gear: this jelly tote bag is genius and these or these (currently extra 25% off with code HAPPY) would be a significant upgrade for myself at the splash pad, walking behind my children! And I have my eye on one of these for mini to carry her little scoops and water toys in.
P.P.S. Lots of fun backyard and pool toys. Another fun little toy to add to the list here — just added these to my cart to bring with us to a little backyard playdate we have coming up in a few weeks!
P.P.P.S. One of mini’s friends gave out a parcel of water balloons tied with a little note that said “you’ve been a bunch of fun this year” on the last day of school — too, too sweet!
