My Latest Snag: Micro’s Fall Wardrobe.

I did a big shop for micro this week and shared almost every single recent purchase (plus sizing details) here. I will be sharing a roundup of mini’s big fall purchases this upcoming week, but I did order several pieces from Cecil and Lou that just arrived and are beyond adorable, including this dress for a few Halloween festivities we have coming up and this adorable gingham. (Her favorite color is blue.)

I’m planning on ordering my children’s Thanksgiving outfits this weekend and I am having an uncharacteristically difficult time deciding for mini between this La Coqueta (currently on sale!!), which is calling my name because I have been thinking I will wear burgundy (possibly one of the new burgundy velvet nap dresses launching next week? — check out the line sheet here), but I also love this mulberry plaid style, which would look adorable with these velvet bow shoes. Decisions, decisions!

You’re Soooo Popular: Le Transitional Dress.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

the fashion magpie blog best sellers

+This gathered poplin sleeveless dress, which could be worn with a turtleneck beneath or a cardi over to accommodate fall.

+Two mini boxwood wreaths for $16 — I love tying these off with black and white striped grosgrain and hanging in windows!

+This gorgeous SEA-inspired blouse (under $100).

+CHIC Target blouse.

+Precious velvet bow Mary Janes for a little love for only $25.

+This spectacular Liberty puffer.

+My favorite everyday winter boots. So warm and comfortable. Can’t recommend enough for my New England/Chicago ladies.

+NBs in the greatest color combo — love the corduroy detailing!

+Velvet and pearl bow earrings! 20% off ATM. Absolute perfection for Thanksgiving/Christmas.

+Personalized Christmas placemats for littles.

+Van Cleef-inspired earrings or bracelet at a great price.

+Pair of two cottage-chic lamps for $60 (!). Would be great on a console or as bedside table lamps in a guest room.

+Personalized wreath sash.

+Rust-colored corduroy dress, currently on sale for only $40.

+My cashmere polo.

+Chunky cardi for $60.

Weekend Musings: On Being Someone Else’s.

I recently had dinner with a girlfriend who is a mother to three young children and, at some point in the conversation, she shared, vulnerably, that she felt she’d lost her sense of identity in recent years. As a teen, she was an athlete; as a young woman, she was motivated by career and various other hobbies that have since taken a back-seat to the minutiae of raising a troop of little ones. “Sometimes I stop and wonder, just, who am I?”

I so understood what she meant. It’s not only that the logistics of motherhood have often led me to let go of former pastimes that have shaped my sense of self, but that I have also sometimes faltered in my confidence as a mother in ways that have made me feel less certain about who am I in a greater sense. I have occasionally been beleaguered by questions of: “Oh, so and so uses this parenting philosophy — shouldn’t I?” and “Oh, I haven’t yet enrolled my children in x activity, but everyone else has — chop, chop!” and “I don’t know how that family is able to do xyz with their children when it seems impossible for me to do the same — what am I doing wrong?” Or sometimes I find myself wondering if I am being too strict or too lax, and what that means about me? E.g., am I overbearing in certain areas? Am I not assertive enough in others? These questions of parenting then lead to a strange pause in the looking glass. Who is that woman? What kind of mother is she?

My tenure as a parent has afforded new purchases in confidence. I feel increasingly self-assured in my decision-making because I have seen things work, or not work, or have tinkered, or have simply made peace with compromise. As an example, I used to positively cringe when other moms would ask about my children’s sleep schedules. I felt I was doing the wrong thing by not sleep training them, but I also had a maternal intuition that overrode those concerns. When mini was young, one of my friends told me, squarely: “You really need to let her cry it out.” She said this with love and concern, as I was going on eight months without a single night of uninterrupted sleep, and I do wonder sometimes if she was right to come at me with the tough love — yet at that moment, I just felt crestfallen at her disapproval. Still, I did not sleep train. With micro, I found myself better equipped to just say something self-deprecating but firm and move on. Two weeks ago, I was chatting with a mom at a playdate, and she mentioned both of her children were terrible sleepers and asked for advice. I just squeezed her hand. “Don’t ask me,” I said, “Neither of my children slept through the night until they were around a year. But it was just what felt right to me at the time.” We sighed in companionship. I don’t know whether it was the solidarity or the fact that I felt I had finally, truly owned my own decision-making while also acknowledging that it was imperfect and probably not well-suited to anyone else, but I felt reassured. I own my decisions.

This doesn’t fully get at what my friend was sharing at dinner the other night, but in writing the previous paragraphs, it occurred to me that matrescence is maybe more of a protracted transformation than I first thought, and perhaps that’s a useful insight. Maybe “becoming a mother” is not something that transpires the day you give birth, but something that unfolds for years and years as you gradually relax into who you are as a parent. Come to think of it, maybe you never fully relax into a given “parent posture” anyway. Maybe matrescence is more about continuous evolution than it is a one-step conversion.

In any case, I came across this quote from Shel Silverstein this past week and it felt appropriate to the conversation:

i can be someone's and still my own shel silverstein

I was reminded of some of my musings from years ago on this subject, where I wrote: “Don’t let your motherliness sit as a counterbalance to yourself.  By that I mean that motherhood is a part of me — not another version of me, and also not all of me.” Easier said than done sometimes.

Post-Scripts.

+Fun Van Cleef-inspired hair slides at a great price.

+Chic black fall mini for under $30.

+I’m not usually much of a sweater dress gal, but I think I must have this Staud.

+WOW this caftan dress looks like a Vita Kin, but costs a fraction of the price. Obsessed!

+These popular fitted pants are on sale!

+Intrigued by this lip glow oil.

+Fun activity for little ones to tuck away for a rainy day. I recently restocked my cabinet for these kinds of occasions with a new box of duplos, astronaut figurines for sensory play, and of course puffy stickers.

+This $80 SEA-inspired dress is in my cart.

+Such a pretty cardigan.

+These chic earrings are 15% off this weekend.

+Still obsessed with this daily SPF. The best I’ve ever used. Have turned everyone I know onto it!

+Another spectacular Thanksgiving dress option.

+How spectacular is the calligraphy on these personalized notecards?

+Some new items added to J. Crew’s already epic sale, including this turtleneck poncho (love these for cool fall days) and these twill joggers. I still think these classic cardigans in heathered pink and blue for only $12 for little girls are the best bargain on the site — such good colors, and stocked in all sizes! You can get an extra 20% off if you’re a cardholder with code CARDLOVE, making them around $10!

+OO yes this velvet faux wrap dress in the burgundy.

+Fab fall footwear.

+Love the shape of this navy sweater dress.

+Can’t believe this rug is $200! So fab.

+Fabulous statement puffer — and another one here.

+Thinking ahead to Christmas

We compiled all Magpie recipes into beautiful cards for your kitchen! Get the recipe card collection in your inbox here.

I wrote recently about how much Mr. Magpie and I love copper cookware. It is pricey, but it conducts heat beautifully and more nimbly* than other metals, like cast-iron. (There is a long article about the pros and cons of copper here, but the takeaway for me was: “It heats quickly and evenly, but it loses that heat just as fast. This responsiveness gives it a nimbleness and agility that can be very useful for delicate proteins like fish and seafood, as well as sauces, caramel, and chocolate—remove a copper saucepan holding a delicate sauce from the heat and its temperature will drop rapidly, reducing the chances the sauce overcooks or breaks from exposure to the retained heat in the metal.”) Plus, I just I love the look, which instantly transports me to a traditional French kitchen, a look I’ve always loved.

french country kitchen
french country kitchen
The Fashion Magpie French Country Kitchen 2

Below, how to borrow from the vibe in your own home…

french country kitchen finds
SALT MILL // GINGHAM DOUBLE OVEN MITT // COPPER PENDANT // LINEN NAPKIN SET (QUITE GOOD FOR THE PRICE – I OWN A FEW SETS OF THESE) // MARBLE CHEESE DOME // COPPER LADLE // ARTICHOKE SCULPTURE // RAMEKINS // STAUB DUTCH OVEN (ONE OF OUR MOST-USED KITCHEN TOOLS) // FRENCH COTTON DISH TOWELS // COPPER BUTTER KEEPER // LAGUIOLE SERVERS // COPPER WALL MOUNT POT RACK // MAUVIEL ROASTING PAN // LA ROCHERE BEE TUMBLERS // POTTED ROSEMARY

A few other finds not seen above worth a gander:

SPOOL OF BUTCHER’S TWINE — WE HAVE THIS AND THE BLADE ON THE TOP MAKES IT SO EASY TO USE ONE-HANDED, WHICH IS SOMEHOW ALWAYS HOW IT ENDS UP HAPPENING…ONE HAND COVERED IN MEAT JUICE!

GLASS CHEESE DOME

WOOD-HANDLED CHEESE KNIVES

ROSEMARY WREATH

COPPER UTENSIL SET

WOVEN BREAD BASKETS

ENAMEL FLATWARE SET

COPPER CANNELE MOLDS

MARBLE BUTTER KEEPER

COPPER BOWL

GINGHAM TABLECLOTH

INDIVIDUAL GRATIN DISHES

MAUVIEL SUGAR SAUCEPAN

OLIVE WOOD SCOOP

EMILE HENRY LOAF PAN

MARBLE MORTAR AND PESTLE SET

RAMEKINS WITH LIDS

EGG CRATE

COPPER CANISTERS (HAVE ALWAYS WANTED THESE)

LIQUID HAND SOAP

WOOD EGG CUPS

CHEESE BOARD

MARBLE UTENSIL HOLDER

GINGHAM APRON

MAUVIEL HANDLED JAM BOWL

P.S. Are you an adventurous eater?

P.P.S. My favorite drinkware.

P.P.P.S. An addictive snack for your family’s next game night / cards night. Also good for Sunday football!

We are still catching up on “Only Murders in the Building” (initial thoughts here), and some of the more recent episodes brought to mind a graduate school class on 20th century literature led by a bright professor with an obvious soft spot for Jorge Luis Borges, Vladimir Nabokov, and magic realism as a concept. I remember on occasion this professor would find himself so enthralled in unwinding a section of Borges that it was as if the entire class disappeared around him. We’d play audience to his soliloquies about wordplay, interrogating the seams between fantasy and reality, direct engagement with the reader, metafiction–all the hallmarks of that sub-canon. His reverence won me over and, for a time, I considered texts from that era the apex of the esoteric. Drafting off of that half-formed opinion, I forced my book club at the time — comprised nearly entirely of UVA friends that had since shuttled into promisingly sturdy careers in government consulting, finance, politics, etc. — to read “Waiting for Godot,” which is in some way an extreme extension of — or at least cousin to — that period of writing, and I did it because I was eager to seem intelligent at the time, as I grappled with my own insecurities over my chosen academic path and realized how seemingly flimsy and insubstantial my peers perceived it to be. (“But what will you do with a degree in English?!”) Everyone read it, hated it, and arrived at our convening with glazed-over eyes, myself included. I have since thought back on those works — with the exception of Nabokov’s — and shuddered a bit. They feel overwrought, cloyingly self-aware, too wrapped-up in the intellectual coterie of the time to stand on their own legs. Those books are like riddles for the academically anointed. They are outposts of theory. It is as though Beckett said, “OK, someone’s gotta write this book to chase this theory to its absolute extreme. I guess I’ll do it.”

Watching “Only Murders in the Building,” I detect some of the high-brow strategies from my erstwhile preferred literary cadre. The show appears to me an elaborate interrogation of the conditions of artistic production, which is not far afield from some of the meat of Nabokov, Borges, etc. But I find myself receiving the show and its strategies differently. There are heavy-handed parts (I am thinking of the episode deliberately devoid of dialogue, which, about five minutes in, led to a conversation with Mr. Magpie about whether or not Aziz Ansari had already “done” the gambit in the entirely silent 8-minute capsule episode from “Master of None”), but I find the techniques winningly paired with the show’s unexpected warmth. It is almost impossible not to love Steve Martin. And any show that invokes Hardy Boys in earnest, without any seeming kitsch or cutesiness, has my admiration. Beyond that, Selena Gomez! I can’t figure out what to make of her, but her implicit “coolness” feels like a bridge to something. I can’t tell whether I am impressed that Steve Martin and Martin Short chose to work with her, or vice versa, but either way, there is something highly grounding about the pairing, as if Martin/Short anchor Gomez in an old-school, highly-regarded Hollywood tradition, and Gomez lends her millennial imprimatur to their cheesiness and occasionally outmoded routines. And so even the overwrought bits feel to me like genuine creativity, and I can nearly imagine them sitting around giddily imagining an episode with no dialogue. “How we will achieve it?” “Scrabble!” “Tiptoeing through a crypt!” “A deaf character!” Aha!

And truly is there anything more delightful than bearing witness to genuine enthusiasm? (“Ted Lasso” reminded me of this, which in turn reminded me of the time Mr. Magpie and I went to a performance of “Oklahoma” at the Arena Stage with my parents, and, halfway through, during the most cabaret rendition of “Surrey with the Fringe on Top,” Mr. Magpie nudged me to look at my mother, who was sitting, entranced, with the most delighted expression of enjoyment on her face! That was a major “Ice Cream” moment, and we talk about it frequently in our house. “Elaine at Oklahoma!” we say, shorthand for “a moment of guileless enjoyment.”)

Over-reading is an old habit that dies hard, and so it is possible I am making too much of this lark of a show, but I find it so refreshingly unlike anything I’ve seen lately that I can’t help myself!

Do you feel the same?

Post-Scripts.

+On being high-brow.

+On feeling desperate, in my younger years, to appear discerning.

+Despite my implied jabs, Nabokov is truly in a category of his own, and one of his masterpieces made my list of “10 Books that Will Change Your Life.”

+Currently halfway through my autumn reading list!

+If you could go back to school and study anything, what would you choose? (Love the comments on this post!)

+A great class I took at UVA.

Shopping Break.

+Love the way this sweater vest is styled with a white blouse and denim! SO chic!

+While you’re at Anthro, note that they are offering an extra 30% off their sale items, including this cute navy gingham mini (I would pair with those navy drivers and a cableknit around my shoulders!), this fun Farm Rio (under $100 with code), this embellished navy top (perfect for holidays!), and this Solid + Striped one-piece for your winter getaway.

+Tis cardigan season, and this is a really good one, in both colorways.

+A heads up that this this brand-new Westman Atelier petite face stick set will be in my gift guide this year — such a fab gift for a sister/girlfriend/mom who enjoys cosmetics! Also a great idea if you want to test a few products without investing in full-sized variations!

+These olive green cord overalls are in my cart! Your little one can twin with you.

+This bee knocker would be such a chic upgrade to your front door.

+Everyone’s favorite fitness top, in new colors!

+This under-$200 black dress is SO CHIC.

+In my cart for mini — I love to give my children holiday-themed books! (And this under-$4 Halloween book will arrive quickly via Prime if you’re still looking for something for your littles ASAP. It’s been one of mini’s favorites this season!)

+Lots of other Halloween finds here, many still available on Amazon Prime with quick delivery! I am hosting a little Halloween parade the day before Halloween for my UVA girlfriends and their little ones, so I just recently ordered a few items for the occasion, and everything arrived really quickly:

THIS WIPEABLE GINGHAM TABLECLOTH TO USE FOR A CUPCAKE-DECORATING STATION

PICKS, CUPCAKE LINERS, + SPRINKLES

GLITTERY GHOST GARLAND

THIS INEXPENSIVE BAG OF FAVORS IS PERFECT FOR PUTTING IN THE HALLOWEEN SENSORY RICE BIN I MADE (I DYED RICE PURPLE, ORANGE, AND GREEN — LITTLE ONES LOVE PLAYING IN THESE BINS WITH LITTLE BOWLS, SHOVELS, AND TOYS…MORE SENSORY PLAY IDEAS HERE)

+I ordered the rest of my party supplies on Etsy from ThePartyDarling, which — if you place an order today — will still arrive before Halloween!

ENORMOUS GHOST BALLOONS

GHOST NAPKINS AND PLATES

IRIDESCENT TREAT CUPS FOR SNACKS — GRAPES/CLEMENTINE SLICES/PRETZELS

+A pretty everyday pendant necklace.

+I’m busy convincing myself I don’t need this sweatshirt…but…

+A beanie is a great gift for a dude. What man doesn’t look great in one? I keep thinking of a question from a Magpie reader last year, who asked for help finding “a beanie that won’t make my husband look like a bank robber.” Haha! I think this one fits the bill because of the cableknit detail 😉

+Also eyeing the turtleneck sweatshirt for my man.

+Super sad these pants in chic pink are sold out in my size — currently on sale for under $20!

+Eyeing these sherpa robes and these slippers for my littles this cool weather season.

+OK, but this blouse for a little lady…meep!

+This windowpane bedding is so handsome and inviting.

+This pearl-topped highlighter is just spectacular. I almost want to wear it as an accessory!

+Adorable confetti knit mittens for a little one.

+One of my longtime favorite art supplies for little hands. Easy enough for tiny ones (micro started using these around 18 months) and just FUN for older ones. Great for making posters or rolling out a huge piece of kraft paper on the ground. So fun!

+This mini is so chic.

+This iPhone case is beyond.

Oo! A few incredible deals on ultra-classic pieces from J. Crew when you get an extra 60% off already reduced prices with code GOBIG. Cardholders get an extra 20% off with code CARDLOVE.

jcrew sale finds

THIS POCKET MOCK-NECK — I GOT IT IN GRAY

THESE CROC PENNY LOAFERS

THIS SMOCK-NECK EVERYDAY DENIM DRESS

THIS PUFF-SLEEVED DRESS IN THE BEIGE OR BLACK

THIS COLLARLESS TUNIC

THIS LIBERTY-COLLAR BARN JACKET OR THIS CORDUROY-TRIM FIELD JACKET

HAVE BEEN GETTING SO MUCH USE OUT OF MY JACKIE CARDI IN NAVY THIS FALL!

AND FOR YOUR MINI — THESE CARDIGANS IN HEATHER PINK AND BLUE ARE ONLY $13 WITH CODE!

NOT QUITE AS STEEP A DISCOUNT, BUT THIS OF-THE-SEASON HALF-ZIP IS 40% OFF!

Also: these absolutely adorable reversible vests for babies are under $15 and one side is floral OMG. I wish they made this in mini’s size! These are so cute they almost deserve their own post!

P.S. Favorite recent finds from Madewell, Loft, and H&M and notes on how to mix and match these pieces with higher end investments.

P.P.S. Has COVID impacted your social energy?

P.P.P.S. On giving yourself permission to lower expectations.

*Image above via Jenny Walton featuring a La Oleada bucket bag.

Burgundy and brown are two of my favorite colors this season. I already shared a host of chic burgundy pieces here, so thought I’d share some fabulous chocolate brown pieces, too. I especially love this color paired with warm ivory.

chocolate brown fashion fall 2021

KNIT MAXI (ON SALE IN LIMITED SIZES TODAY ONLY HERE) // STILL NOT OVER THESE PLATFORMS // ULLA JOHNSON CHAMBRAY BLOUSE // VERONICA BEARD BELL BOTTOMS // WRAP SWEATER // TWEED TOTE // LARROUDE BOW FLATS // EVERLANE LINER JACKET // SHERPA POUCH // STRIPED TURTLENECK (LOOK FOR A LITTLE LESS WITH THIS) // ECRU OVERALLS // GAP BLOUSE // OUTSIDER EARRINGS (UNDER $30!) // FAUX LEATHER SHIRT DRESS // PADDED LEATHER HEADBAND // SELF-PORTRAIT PEPLUM BLOUSE

A few other fab finds:

TIERED CORDUROY DRESS — I BOUGHT THIS!

THE PERFECT HEELED SUEDE TALL BOOT (VERY POPULAR AMONG YOU MAGPIES — ON SALE!)

COATED DENIM IN A PERFECT PECAN COLOR (ALSO LOVE THIS LIGHTER PAIR) — WOULD LOOK SO GOOD WITH A CABLEKNIT TUNIC LIKE THIS

TIERED BROWN DRESS — SOOOO CHIC

BLANKET SCARF (UNDER $60)

BIRKIN VIBES FOR UNDER $150

THIS RIBBED PULLOVER IN THE CAMEL WOULD BE FAB WITH IVORY WIDE-LEG DENIM

GUCCI GUCCI GUCCI

FAUX CROC HEADBAND FOR A STEAL

SMOCKED PLAID DRESS

SUEDE SCALLOPED CLUTCH (UNDER $150)

MAX MARA DRESS (ON SALE) — THIS WOULD MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A POWERFUL BOSS WOMAN

THIS CINCH-WAISTED SHEARLING JACKET IS LIKE A FEMININE RALPH LAUREN VIBE AND I LOVE IT

OBSESSED WITH THE COLOR OF THESE WORKOUT LEGGINGS

CROPPED HOUNDSTOOTH JACKET — WOULD BE FAB PAIRED WITH THIS STRIPED TURTLENECK AND JEANS

PERFECT TRANSITION-TO-FALL DRESS WITH A CABLE KNIT CARDIGAN

$20 TILE PRINT HEADBAND

REFORMATION MIDI

GORGEOUS FALL DRESS — COULD BE DRESSED UP WITH HEELS OR DOWN WITH CLOGS

ULLA JOHNSON CABLEKNIT — IMAGINE WITH THIS REASONABLY-PRICED SKIRT

THIS HOUNDSTOOTH SLEEVELESS BLAZER WOULD BE CHIC OVER A TURTLENECK AND WORN AS A DRESS OR OVER JEANS AND A SWEATER

TRULY IN LOVE WITH THIS CREPE DE CHINE MAXI

P.S. Fab fall dresses under $200.

P.P.S. Favorite cool weather accessories — you all are especially loving these earrings, these navy drivers, and this navy headband, all in my closet, too.

P.P.P.S. If you’re new here — welcome!

*Above: micro wears red corduroy Osh Kosh overalls and a Little English turtleneck from last season, but they have similar ones available this season, and I bought several! I would advise sizing up in the turtlenecks. We are stretching it with a 2T from last season here — would be better in a 3T. Just ordered him several new prints of theirs in the 3T!

I thought I’d share a few of the standout pieces I’ve purchased for both of my children this season. I’ll start with micro. To be honest, I usually don’t have a cohesive approach to purchasing clothes for my children — true to my Magpie name, I’m fairly opportunistic about promotions, launches, whatever catches my eye — but this year I really did try to think through a general vibe, which is sort of Danny-Torrence-from-the-Shining (haha — but really, love the overalls over the sweater situation) meets tiny-Mr.-Magpie. (Last year, it was more European baby, with knit sets and shortalls and that sort of thing.) Anyway, overall, he has a retro/classic vibe going, with lots of navy, corduroy, and collars.

In this post, I’m aiming to provide detailed sizing notes and purchasing advice. For reference, micro is almost 2.5 years old, on the tall and slender side. He was more of a butterball last year, wearing a size 2T at 1.5 years, so I have been startled by how many items I have stretched to work this season again in the size 2T — last year, he filled them out width wise; now they’re a little short on him, but still roomy enough. Unless otherwise noted, I purchased all 3T for shirts/tops and a 2T for bottoms, because he’s slim in the waist. Fingers crossed we might get another season of use out of these items next year, too, since he’s sort of between sizes in a lot of these items.

A few of the pieces I love the most that are still available for purchase…

fall 2021 wardrobe toddler boy

+Little English really had my number this season for micro. I had to buy him this sweater, a few of their printed turtlenecks (including pumpkins for Halloween and mallards just because), and their cord overalls. I super love the styling of their overalls this year — sort of narrower/more Osh Kosh than a lot of the other classic brands out there — and love pairing them with their turtlenecks. I made a note of this above, but would size up in the turtlenecks and who knows — you might be able to get two seasons out of them, as I am. I find this brand to be a GREAT quality for basics, with the cutest little-boy prints. The cotton is nice and thick, and it has these great reinforced cuffs that never fray. Just love! If you are placing a first order, you can get 10% off with code LE10, which might equate to free shipping for you!

+I bought a bunch of CPC’s embroidered and plain longalls last year in 24M and 2T and both sizes are plenty roomy though a tiny bit short for micro again this year. I am making it work! These look adorable over turtlenecks, too. I have a few of the ones from Nantucket Kids from last season that I love (also 2T, but would def size up to 3T if reordering) and that micro still fits into, too, as well as some of the solid and striped ones from Gap — such a great price for really nice quality.

+Micro has Ralph Lauren cableknit sweaters in a few colors, but navy is already the most-frequently-used. It’s currently on sale! A total classic. I bought a 3T but he will definitely outgrow these by next year — they already feel a little bit on the cropped side. He also has one of their classic flag sweaters from last autumn that is a 2T that is super snug/cropped but I’m making it happen! (On sale in bigger boy sizes here, FYI.). General advice is: size up, possibly 1.5 sizes up (i.e., I think I could have gotten away with a 4T this year and then it would work this year and next).

+Long-sleeved Lacoste polos in a few colors, too — I find these run short and a little wide, so if your boy is tall, size up. Hill takes a 3 in these now. These are great under overalls, paired with jeans, and I even style them with sweatpants/leggings for park days. Tip: always check Amazon first — their pricing varies wildly sometimes, and I have occasionally snagged Lacostes for up to 50% off. Right now, a navy in a 3T is on sale for $40!

+Other pants/bottoms micro has this season:

THESE DENIM JOGGERS

MAISONETTE JOGGERS — NICE, THICK MATERIAL GOOD FOR COOL MORNING SOCCER

EMERALD GREEN CORDS

QUILTED POCKET JOGGERS

SLIM CORDS IN ACORN

SEVERAL PAIRS OF OSH KOSH, INCLUDING RED CORD ABOVE, DENIM, AND OLIVE GREEN

+Of course classic white oxford from RL and some of his button-downs from Luca and Luca last winter still fit him in the 2T. I love the mandarin collars they have! So, so cute! (He was a little butterball last winter; now he’s thinned out but taller so the size still tends to work!)

+Also have this striped half-zip and this green boxy sweatshirt for him — I really love the modern, boxy fit of the latter when paired with a Lacoste polo and joggers. So cute.

+For shoes, micro has been wearing his Nikes and yellow Hunter boots a ton. He loves those rainboots! He also has these suede sneakers from Ugg that he wore last year and were a tad big at the time and I did snag him these $20 loafers.

+For outerwear, micro has a Burberry quilted coat in red (also from last year, in a size 24M, and still fits easily — was delighted by how many items I have made work this year from last year’s wardrobe, which makes me feel better about having invested in some of these higher-end pieces), this Patagonia fleece in navy, and this lined rain jacket, which is nice during drizzly and chilly October days. When it gets cooler, I have a Patagonia hi-loft he’ll wear, also from last year — I tend to size up when I purchase these so they can ideally last two seasons.

+The main remaining items on my shopping list for him: this cableknit is in my cart for my next Gap order and I’m trying to track down these olive green Vejas in his size but isn’t ordering Vejas for children a total mess? Like, the sizing is weird (I found it ran really small on mini and then I ordered the size up this season and her foot is swimming in it! did they change sizing or is it just the style?! AH! European conversions also always throw me and feel inconsistently reported). I also find them carried at random places in random sizes, and sometimes on European sites with crazy shipping. Anyway — I also have a full cart of items for him at Janie + Jack but am waiting for a promo, as they often do them towards the holidays/late fall, that includes:

THESE SUEDE DRIVERS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

THIS RUGBY SHIRT

THIS BRUSHED TWILL SHIRT

THESE TWILL JOGGERS

+My major next purchase for him though will be a Thanksgiving outfit. I am looking for an excuse to buy him this perfect cashmere cableknit…but am debating getting him something more like dungarees/wool shorts because it might be one of the last years I can get him into them! So many of the classic styles stop around 3T, and boys just outgrow the styles in general anyhow.

Q: Outfits for a baby girl to wear with her fur vest.

A: My two go-tos when mini was younger were: 1) Layering the vest over sweet diaper sets like this (currently on rare sale!), this, or this, paired with cable-knit tights (<<this brand is fantastic and really holds up) and tiny mary janes. Meep! Too sweet! The other option: 2) layer over a cozy rib knit set like this and finish with Donsje booties. Mini had a few pair of those boots and they were beyond adorable.

Q: Wallet!

A: I have a quilted Chanel wallet and a Prada card case and both bring me such joy every single day I use them. Strong upvotes for both. I also really love this current-season Gucci style (and the unnecessary but chic matching key case). For something a bit more affordable, I love the ones from Clare Vivier that can be personalized with shadow lettering. (Look for even less from Mark + Graham.). I also love this chic zip-around style from Neely + Chloe, which comes in great colors. They also have sweet card cases!

Q: Wide leg winter white pants.

A: For evening, these silky ones from Ramy Brook are IT. Can you even imagine paired with a simple cashmere crewneck in ivory or camel and then some glitzy earrings?! If you’re talking denim, I love the slightly cropped silhouettes from Ayr and Rag & Bone. For a full-length style, I’m drawn to this pair from M.M.LaFleur. And if you’re looking for proper trousers, I like these from Sandro and these from Halston Heritage. And for all-around wear (dress up or down), these from Apiece Apart!

Q: Ideas for styling top of Ikea docksta dining table paired with Serena and Lily Riviera chairs in navy.

A: Oo! What a chic pairing. Love. I immediately imagined a pop of green in the middle — maybe either two or three potted preserved boxwoods in different sizes/shapes (i.e., two of the sizes here or here) nestled against one another, or two of them potted in blue-and-white chinoiserie (this and this). I like that it offers height, texture, color. If this is in your breakfast nook, you could also keep a cake dome in the center and fill with whatever you have on hand — we nearly always have ours in the center of our kitchen island, featuring pastries/baked goods (store-bought ones are fine!). The particular cake dome I have (<<linked here) can also be inverted and used as a fruit bowl when you have an abundance of citrus, bananas, etc, which I also do frequently. If the cake dome feels like it’s “floating” in the middle (not sure how big the table would look in relation to the dome), you can add simple glass candleholders with white pillar candles to flank the dome to sort of section the area off, or you can layer a round tray beneath the dome. Twist on the theme: rattan tray (tie in with chairs) topped with a white footed bowl that you can fill with fruit or moss balls.

Q: Newborn stocking stuffers.

A: So sweet you’re already thinking of this — actually made me heart melt a bit! (Congrats, mama!)

THE BEST FLEECE BOOTIES (THE ONLY ONES THAT ACTUALLY STAYED ON MY BABIES’ FEET)

HIGH CONTRAST CRINKLE TOY

HIGH CONTRAST CARDS

WOOD KEYS

KNIT RATTLE

TEDDY HAT

CLASSIC JELLYCAT

INDESTRUCTIBLE BABY BOOKS (CAN BE PUT IN MOUTH, CRINKLED TO HIGH HELL, AND RUN THROUGH WASHING MACHINE!)

EVERY BABY’S FAVORITE BANANA

Q: Bedding and towels for little boys.

A: For bedding, I like these stripes, this toile, these stars, or this gingham. All of these would look great with a classic navy-trim duvet! Finish with a monogrammed lumbar in red piping (with navy lettering) or applique boudoir pillow for a tailored look, or top with this Katie Ridder pillow for a high-end designer vibe. (Major addition: these drapes to match!). For towels, we use a blend of Matouk Auberge and Weezie (you can see a peek into my children’s bathroom here). I love the bold monograms both have. These rugby stripe towels in navy would also be cute blended in with hand-towels from Matouk or Weezie!

Q: Fall flat knee-high boots.

A: I really love this pair from Anthro. I think they’d be the perfect compliment to all of the fall floral dresses we’ve been buying! This pair from Alexandre Birman is more of an investment, but is truly a timeless piece — the buckles make it feel very Hermes to me. I am sure we’ve overdue for a return of the tall riding boot, and you’ll be ahead of the curve with this!

Q: Fun dress/skirt/matching set for a long weekend in Mexico City.

A: This Mi Golondrina is spectacular and feels autumnal but festive. You could wear when back home with suede booties and a chunky knit! A few other fab finds for a festive night out:

THIS BOLD RED NUMBER

FABULOUS FARM RIO

NESLI NAP DRESS IN EMERALD

BANJANAN

ZIMMERMANN

AGUA BENDITA (IF YOUR TRIP IS LATER — THIS IS PRE-ORDER ONLY)

BANANA YELLOW TOVE

THIS ROSEWATER HOUSE MASTERPIECE

THIS ULTRA-FUN MINI (UNDER $200)

FINALLY, CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS JOHANNA ORTIZ

Q: Blush bridesmaid dress — can be midi or long — for a July wedding on a farm in Vermont!

A: Enjoy! I like this blush Reformation, this on-trend Self-Portrait, or — statement! — this Marchesa Notte.

Q: New mom winter white dress to celebrate my son’s Christening. Kate Middleton vibes!

A: Congratulations! This is not white, but Kate has worn many dresses by the brand GOAT and this pink one (on sale!) would be so fetching paired with a headband like this. For a major splurge, this ODLR tweed boucle number is perfection and could be worn until you’re old and gray. This belted Self-Portrait style is also seriously chic, and I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve suggested this Sandro beauty. This Ted Baker would also be spectacular!

Q: Fall wedding dress for a guest!

A: I have loads of chic options here and here! For black-tie, I can’t get over this navy slip dress situation (under $250 and so devastatingly chic). I’m imagining it with a little feather/fur stole and a low bun. For cocktail attire, love this patchwork Ulla, this floral SEA, and this olive paisley Cara Cara.

Q: Need a good gift idea for an 8-year-old niece.

A: I recall being really into games at that age — maybe classics like Operation or Guess Who? Klee Naturals has these fun all-natural makeup kits that I would have absolutely loved, too. My mom gave me an enormous pink play makeup kit for a birthday around there and I spent HOURS doing my makeup, my sisters’ makeup, my friends’ makeup, etc. If you have an artist on your hands, Ed Emberley drawing books are fabulous, especially bundled with Ooly drawing implements. I would have loved this Ooly set at that age, come to think of it! Finally, you can’t go wrong with Lego!

Q: Black velvet blazer that is more dressy than worky.

A: If it’s gotta be black, it’s gotta be L’Agence. So incredibly chic and saucy. Right now I’m kind of freaking out imagining myself pairing it with these dramatic feather-trim pants for a major moment. (NYE?!). Reiss has a great one, too. But if it can be navy, Zara has one that is so fabulous.

Q: Diaper bag organization!

A: Pouches are the answer, and I shared all my favorites here. I specifically like using these large wet/dry bags now that I have two children, so I keep all their must-haves in easy-to-grab pouches monogrammed with their respective initials. Bonus is that the interior lamination means if you need a place to store soiled/wet clothes, you have one on hand! When my children were super young, I loved this ToteSavvy insert, too — especially great for a Goyard (my diaper bag), which has more or less no structure. Great to keep bottle in one place, diaper in another, etc. I always had what I needed and knew exactly when I was due for a refill, forgetting something, etc. Once the kids got a little older, though, I found pouches easier to use since their on-the-go needs fluctuated by activity/season/time-of-day/etc.

My girlfriend Inslee (seen above, with her precious son, Jackson) designed some of the adorable holiday prints that Lake Pajamas launched this morning! I am eager to get my hands on her whimsical print for my children this holiday season. I also love (!) the awning striped nightgown Inslee is wearing above (perfection with my green velvet furlanes — I’m imagining wearing this while wrapping gifts and clinking champagne on Christmas Eve)…and then of course my favorite pair of pajamas of all time is their long-short set. (Pair with those mini Uggs everyone from Kaia Gerber to Joan Smalls has been wearing and you basically winterize them.)

While we’re on the subject of the holidays, I know that some of you have been asking for gift guides and holiday decor roundups, so I’m sharing all of the finds I’ve been sitting on for weeks, just waiting for a semi-appropriate time to spill (anticipators, unite!), and have also begun to organize them into a Holiday Shop.

EARLY 2021 HOLIDAY FINDS

+The stockings from Stuck on Hue are nothing short of spectacular. Can you imagine these or these in a well-appointed living room?!

+A sleek menorah.

+I buy Mr. Magpie a new ornament every year for our tree and am thinking of giving him these beautiful turtle doves this year: “A symbol of love and devotion, it’s believed that turtle doves stay together for a lifetime.” These would also be a sweet holiday gift for newlyweds!

+My other contender for this year: one of these customized ornaments showcasing a portrait of your home. So sweet for new homeowners (like us!)

+The chicest modern version of an Advent wreath I’ve ever seen. We introduced this as a nightly family tradition last year during Advent and it was really a beautiful way to stay close to the Christmas story during the season. We sang the old school “O Come O Come Emmanuel” as we lit the candle(s) nightly, and mini would fling her arms out and yell: “REJOICE! REJOICE!” at the refrain. Will never forget that big energy during a holiday that felt so isolated from loved ones!

+We also did an Advent calendar my mother-in-law had made for my husband years and years ago where you tie a little surprise on for each day. This similar style has pockets for the same purpose and can be personalized with your children’s names (or your family name). This one is also super cute, but a little more expensive. Note that delivery is currently estimated for end of November, so good to get a head start on ordering this if you want it for the holidays!

+Gorgeous personalized wreath sash for your door.

+My children have a peg doll nativity set similar to this that consumes hours and hours of play and attention every holiday season.

+My favorite holiday decor — mini boxwood wreaths to hang in the windows or over the back of dining chairs with a sumptuous velvet or tidy grosgrain ribbon.

+These mini stockings would be cute as a way to present gifts/gift cards, or as decoration in a smaller space (or a child’s room, for their stuffed animals or something!)

+Gorgeous velvet bows with self-ties for garlands or napkins!

+A few fun ornament sets: ginger jars, handpainted chinoiserie balls, the London-themed ones like this and this from an Etsy shop, and – my personal favorite – these hand-felted NYC subway cars (she also does London double deckers and more!).

+Love the idea of these vintage bells as mantle decor nestled in among evergreens and taper candles.

+This Etsy shop has the cutest (!) personalized, laminated holiday placemats for little ones.

+These wicker tree baskets have been super popular the past few years as a tidy alternative to a tree skirt. Would be so chic, I think, in a coastal home.

+Adore these berry cluster trees to keep on a sideboard or even in the middle of the kitchen island during the holiday season.

+I bought all the white metal houses from Target’s collection last year, and my children adored them. So chic in a windowsill, on a sideboard in a dining room, or on a mantel. I love these ceramic ones from Ballard and these from Crate and Barrel, too.

+On our first Christmas together in Chicago, Mr. Magpie and I bought a bunch of Martha-Stewart-brand ornaments in different shapes — birds, classic balls, some icicle-types, and they were such a great “starter pack” for us before we’d accrued the more sentimental ones we now have. This is one such set.

+These bells would be pretty hanging from swag on a piece of furniture or newpost.

+Absolutely darling holiday mug for a little one who loves hot chocolate but can’t be trusted with porcelain/ceramic.

+This pinecone wreath is a forever piece! Bring out year after year and never worry about dead/dry swag. For the same reason, this faux cedar garland is kind of brilliant.

+I feel as though Scrooge himself had these brass candlesticks in his house. Just perfect.

+Some of my favorite holiday books to read my children: Pick a Tree (the illustrations are perfect), Red & Lulu (perfect for NYC babes), and of course The Night Before Christmas. For littler children, Christmas in the Manger is in our year-round repertoire.

+I was just thinking excitedly last weekend about bringing out puzzles as we head towards the holiday season. There is something so hygge to me about having a puzzle out on the dining room table to work on when you have a few minutes, listening to Christmas music, enjoying a glass of wine or a cup of tea. I enjoyed this one and this one last year!

P.S. More favorite sleepwear finds for littles. Check out Petite Plume’s holiday prints, including their sleigh bells, antique toys, and blue bows!

P.P.S. I love NYC this time of year — from mid-October through the holidays. I personally think the city’s at its most magical. Was looking back on some of my posts about the city, like this and this, and feeling all the feels.

P.P.P.S. I won’t, however, miss NYC’s slush lagoons.

One morning last fall, I was on the final leg of my favorite running circuit in Central Park, and as I pushed up the slight incline of the bridle trail running along the west side of Jackie O. Reservoir, I mumbled to myself: “Hurry up, slowploke!” It was a strange moment, in that I actually whispered the words out loud, made even stranger by the realization that I was talking to myself in a fairly denigratory tone. I started to wonder whether I always spoke to myself like that, carping at the quick at every fault and line gone slack. The next few runs, I found myself more self-aware about my internal dialogue. When I’d find myself leaning almost subconsciously into chastisement, I’d interrupt myself and rephrase: “You got this,” and “Keep going,” and “You’re almost there.” Truth be told, I’m too close-up to know whether these modifications have done me any good in the categories of achievement or self-worth, but I was frankly appalled by the way I’d caught myself talking to myself. I haven’t found myself using that tone in other areas of my life, so maybe it was isolated to the exercise sphere — a sort of internal tough-love to muscle through the most strenuous parts of the workout — but still. I would never speak that way to anyone else — why was I so comfortable directing that tone inwardly, even if only while running?

Yesterday, I came across the apt excerpt below in the devotional I’ve been working through. (I promise I won’t make this blog a sequence of replies to its every prompt, but some of the messages have truly stirred something in me.)

“What if we had a transcript of all the conversations we have with ourselves? If our thoughts were typed out for all to see, what conclusions would be drawn? What do we tend to focus on, think about, and struggle with? When does out mind tend to race without cautious and get anxious inside? What keeps us up at night or motivates us to stay on the treadmill? Are we usually dealing with an inner critic or a kindness coach?”

The last question in particular struck a chord. The answer for me came easy: my internal voice is undoubtedly more often a critic than a kindness coach. But what does this mean? I think sometimes having high expectations — for yourself, for others — is perceived to be a bad thing, but I’m not sure I agree with that assessment. I have often found it healthful and productive to set the bar high, to sit in reflection about where I could have done better and what I will do differently next time to achieve a different outcome. For example, I think being hyper critical of my own work has made me a better writer. I have looked back on my writing from years past with the eyes of a landscaper: oo, trim that foliage way back! and yuck, weeds here. And I can’t speak to the efficacy of my parenting writ-large, but I know I have improved in patience and calm as a mother given many, many nights of tearful reflection on moments of frustration and shortcoming. But then maybe I am permitting “constructive feedback” to subsume the neighboring “unduly harsh criticism,” because I also know for certain that some of my self-reproach in the areas of creative output, fitness, and especially motherhood are overly heavy-handed.

So where to go from here?

For me, perhaps it begins with a deliberate pause when I am reflecting on losing my patience with my children, hitting publish on a half-formed essay whose conclusion I just couldn’t quite mold, or putting in a half-assed effort on my morning run. I think asking myself: is this the nasty critic or the kindness coach speaking? will be instructive. Maybe the criticism is earned. But maybe I also need to give myself some grace, or to cheerlead, or to simply say: “Yep, that was rough. Moving on.”

What about you? What does your internal voice sound like? Have you caught yourself using a tone you wouldn’t use with anyone else, too?

Post-Scripts.

+On mom guilt.

+On difficult ages.

+On finding optimism after a really tough parenting stretch.

+Words of wisdom on failure from the luminous Patti Smith.

Shopping Break.

+Mr. Magpie and I have a few copper cookware pieces from Mauviel that we treasure. I find that copper conducts heat quickly and evenly, and I just love the “French kitchen” vibes. I was just eyeing this beautiful copper kitchen bowl, which would be great for making swiss meringue over simmering water — or just, mixing up salad!

+These popular clogs are on sale through today only!

+Some of my favorite pajamas in long-sleeved format — ultra soft, would work great for nursing mamas.

+I’d never have thought to switch out sheeting fabrics seasonally but how fun would this nutcracker print sheeting be for a little one around the holidays?! And I’m kind of in love with this Santa toile

+Speaking of holidays, I LOVE these plates.

+This pink floral puffer vest for a baby girl!

+These Rue de Verneuil bags are majorly appealing to me — make me want to go back to school and wear tweed and read in libraries with stained glass windows! Super love this oversized tweed clutch to pair with anything corduroy…I now have this Boden dress and just added this to my cart from J. Crew!

+Love this dark floral dress with black suede boots.

+This cardigan from Le Lion’s collaboration with Julia Berolzheimer is just spectacular.

+Speaking of fabulous sweaters, Gilt just further discounted some ultra-chic knits from LoveShackFancy, including this pale pink alpaca (only $119 now!) and this gorgeous patchwork style.

+This chic, dramatic blouse is currently on sale!

+This bed blanket is hands-down my favorite element of our bedding — it is super soft, affords just the right level of weight over sheets and under a duvet, and adds interesting depth to the overall “bedscape.” I just noticed Pottery Barn launched a super similar product for about half the price. Such a great upgrade to your bed for winter especially!

+This velvet chair is in-sahhhhn.

+Another fab fall everyday dress. Would work with bump or while nursing, too — pair with velvet mules or clogs for an on-trend moment.

+Burgundy. velvet. dress. YES.

+Super into fair-isle at the moment, and Mango has some amazing and affordable options — do I need this turtleneck vest?! Would be so good over a contrasting-print dress or white blouse. Also love this cardigan and this one, too!

+Oo la la, intaglio earrings!

+I have been eyeing this Sandro dress forever, and it just cropped up at The Outnet. SO chic. Would work for so many festive occasions, like baby showers, bridal teas, receptions, etc. Conservative but not.

+Both of my children absolutely loved these ultra-soft blankets as babies. Hill still sleeps with his every night!

+Use these on your existing juice glasses for a chic coastal vibe next time you’re hosting brunch.

+Such a gorgeous velvet holiday dress for a little love — mini had a very similar one in the same moody blue hue from Sal e Pimenta last year that was just spectacular. Works for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas! Love the baby sister match, too.

+I just live for turtlenecks.

+These boots are fabulous.

+Cute reusable plastic cups for your Halloween gathering – thinking of ordering these for a little party we’re hosting!

Shopbop is running one of its rare sale promotions — 15% off purchases of $200+; 20% off purchases of $500+; and 25% off purchases of $800+. My favorite finds:

The Fashion Magpie Shopbop Sale Scores

LUSTING AFTER THIS BLOUSE — IMAGINE WITH THESE EARRINGS IN NAVY VELVET

MUST HAVE THESE ADORABLE SHERPA MITTENS

MY FAVORITE WINTER BOOTS — THESE NEVER GO ON SALE

THE SWEATER HEADBAND I’VE MENTIONED 1300 TIMES — JUST THE BEST FALL COLORS!

MY FAVORITE TALL BOOT ON THE MARKET

PERFECT EVERYDAY FALL DRESS — LOVE LENGTH, CUT, COLOR…WOULD PAIR WITH SUEDE MULES OR FLATS THOUGH!

…FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT THIS NAVY GINGHAM DRESS! WOULD WORK WITH BUMP — FAB FOR A FALL GATHERING WITH CLOGS/MULES

THIS FAIR-ISLE CARDIGAN IS AT THE TOP OF MY LUST LIST AT THE MOMENT (NOTE: ON SALE FOR EVEN LESS IN A DIFFERENT COLOR HERE)

CURRENT “IT” GIRL FLEECE…BEEN SEEING THIS EVERYWHERE!

SPECTACULAR EVENING DRESS FOR UNDER $130 (EVEN LESS WITH PROMOTION!)

CHICEST SWEATER FOR LAYERING OVER HOLIDAY DRESSES — CANNOT RESIST A BOW

FAB NAVY STATEMENT DRESS

GET A PRICE BREAK ON THE CLARE VIVIER TOTE OF THE SEASON!

P.S. Great finds at Loft and how I’d style them.

P.P.S. This dress is selling like wild fire — only a few sizes left, under $100 (with promo code), and perfect for Thanksgiving.

P.P.P.S. On making our way through the hardest part of COVID: “It begins with a prayer, and it ends with something laughably, improbably trivial, like the splash of champagne that spilled over the edge of a coupe on my Easter Sunday table as I sat with family after months of separation. Both are reassurances that life — that love — will find a way. It is my mother kneeling and crying at the House of Mary, and it is my mother calling me on the phone to ask: “Did you want me to pack you some snacks for the train ride home? I know you like Cheez-its.” It is the expansiveness of faith and the preening minutiae of motherhood, and one way or the other, we have made it.”

In seventh grade, my homeroom teacher asked us to select an artwork of our choosing and write an essay on it. I recall classmates groaning at the assignment, but I was delighted. Even now, I get a thrill out of the open-endedness of the prompt, a barely-mantled invitation to corral the ping-ponging thoughts of a twelve-year-old into something of shape. I selected an obscure wood carving by Renaissance artist Albrecht Durer titled “Melencolia.” My election is as close to a portal into the psyche of a 1997-era tween as you will find. The theme was slightly morbid in the way of the Ouija board and dark lipstick and subtle obsession with witchcraft then in vogue, and overtly self-indulgent in the way of a twelve-year-old. These were the years of tamagotchis, sleepovers, passed notes with “do you like Katie? check yes or no,” butterfly clips, lip smackers, spin-the-bottle, boys who wore flannel shirts unbuttoned over white tees, Alanis Morisette, chanting “Bloody Mary” into the mirror, “Teen Wolf,” the Goth trend, pamphlets labeled “Your Changing Body,” the book Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, chokers, and those hideous black Steve Madden platforms with the stretchy band that conformed to the top of the foot, which my Dad aptly dubbed “clod-hoppers” which he in turn sometimes appended to just “clogs,” which then became a stand-in for any footwear he disliked for the rest of my life. (A strange kitten heel with a jarring buckle on the toe? “A clog,” to my Dad.) Of course, I was too much of a skittish rule-follower to ever actually chant “Bloody Mary” or play the Ouija board. I was convinced that if the devil didn’t get me, my mom would find me with my palms over the board or my hands in front of my face and my life as I knew it would be over. I knew this with confidence because she had once told me that her father (my Granddad, a pious man) was appalled by the cocktail of the same name — or, more accurately, the non-alcoholic variation, the Virgin Mary, and would refuse to order it on naming convention alone, and she delivered this information with such firmness and reverence that I still think about it to this day when I see it on a restaurant menu. Anyhow, I suppose that writing an essay about melancholy was as close to rebellious self-expression as I could get as that time. It is agony to be a tween! was the subtext. Durer gets it.

I think back now and imagine my teacher smirking as he skimmed my loose-leaf paper. Amidst a sea of reflections on “Starry, Starry Night” and Degas’ dancers, here was…Albrecht Durer? Is that even an artist? he might have asked, not having Wikipedia as an easy reference. These were the dial-up days — DOS prompts, computers that weighed a shipping ton, heavily-pixelated Michael Jordan v. Larry Bird, etc. How I even found Durer is a marvel to me, although I am fairly certain it was from a set of encyclopedias my father kept in the basement that we mainly used as “bricks” in fort building but found sporadically useful for oblique self-expression in open-ended essay prompts.

My teacher gave me an “A+,” on the assignment, which was not unusual for me, but added: “See me after class,” which was. My stomach dropped. The last thing I needed was my teacher to ask if I needed counseling, and I was aware enough that my topic might have earned me that conversation. How could I have been so bold?! I immediately started worrying about whether my parents would be called. Would Sister Joan, our principal, be involved in all of this? Ah, the spiraling of a 12 year old Catholic girl!

When I timidly approached my teacher’s desk at lunch, he grinned.

“Durer, huh?” he asked. I gulped, but found the smile disarming enough to begin to resume some posture of normalcy.

As it turns out, he simply wanted to praise me for my writing, and for the effort it must have taken to source the artwork I’d written about. He also looked me square in the eye and said: “Keep writing.”

The episode now reads like a parable to me. I took a risk at self-expression and it was fraught with peril and in the end it not only paid off but spurred me forward.

Keep writing.

Two of my uncles used to say the same thing to me, often in long-form letters. “Still writing fiction?” my Uncle Jim would ask me when I was thirteen, fifteen, nineteen. He’d urge not to stop, once tucking a xeroxed copy of a favorite Salinger short story of his into the envelope, as though an ebenezer for future attempts at fiction.

Keep writing.

My mother enrolled me in writing workshops, sat in audiences at poetry competitions where I would read my work in trembling sotte voce, kept a hand-written story of mine in her bedside table.

Keep writing.

The other day, I sat down and wrote an email to three girlfriends of mine telling them that — without their even knowing it — they had shaped my life as a writer in a meaningful way. I had just moved to New York, just dissolved a business with my husband, just had a baby, and I felt adrift and throttled. All three of them were successful creatives in their own right, and I was entranced and encouraged by not only the quality of their art but their fearless entrepreneurship. They became models for my own confidence. But mainly, it was their earnest acceptance of what I was doing, the way they’d ask what I was working on or let me know when they particularly liked an essay, that motivated me.

Keep writing, in different words.

It is easy to be deterred by criticism, and more often than not, I am the loudest of the howling wolves nipping at my heels — that is, I am often the harshest critic of my own work. In past occasions where my writing has been poorly received, I have sometimes felt like saying, “Oh I know. Tell me about it. Horrible!!!”

And you know —

I think I have not thoroughly acknowledged the patronage that has brought me through. For most of my life, when generous people would say nice things about my writing, I would flush, change the topic, dissent. But obviously some of the encouragement seeped through, lodging itself in the tender spot beyond the armor, and I doubt very much I have gone even one day — even one single day! — of the last few decades of my life without writing, in no small part because of that furtherance. Sometimes, that writing has been in narrow, fractional modalities: fragments of essays jotted on a notepad, turns of phrases captured on my iPhone Notes app, even “oh! I love the way she put that!” awarenesses that later spring up, daisy-like, in my musings. And sometimes, it has been long, heart-wrenching essays that consume me for days and leave me as fossil. All of it — even when there is no pen on paper — is writing, though, which to me is process rather than product. Some of my best writing happens while on mile three of a run or laying awake in the middle of the night: it is the unfurling of words into empty space. And so writing has been a lifeblood. A through-line. The backbone of my professional career, a partial-casting of my identity. And it wouldn’t be that way without the teachers, family members, friends, readers (you!) who have unwritten my longtime experiment with language.

All to say: today I am taking a pause to give praise where it is due, to sit in gratitude with the memory of that teacher’s encouraging stare over my strange seventh-grade essay. And I want to pay it forward. So to anyone who needs to hear it today: keep going. Take the risk. Lean into the encouragement. Let this note today be your own ebenezer.

Post-Scripts.

+On getting into a flow.

+Do you consider yourself creative? (The TL;DR: even if you don’t, you are.)

+Writing, fishing, and The Roaring Fork.

+More words of encouragement.

+On selecting English as a major.

Shopping Break.

+Thanks to the reader who pointed out this adorable exaggerated-collar sweatshirt! SEA vibes but on a more manageable scale (and much more affordable).

+I will be doing an entire post on this promotion in a few hours, but Shopbop is running one of its buy-more-save-more events, and it includes this very popular blouse.

+Last-minute Halloween buys: Halloween PJs, 50% off, and Martha Stewart bat mirror clings.

+This tunic sweatshirt looks like Saturday morning lounging perfection.

+This is to me the perfect sweater for throwing around shoulders during this transitional season. Great colors, not too bulky, super soft!

+Glass salt cellar at a great price. Thinking of putting this in Mr. Magpie’s stocking alongside his annual stocking stuffer of Maldon salt.

+These frames are so fun!

+This $35 gingham top! WOW! Instantly reminded me of the Emerson Fry blouse. Perfect tucked into high-waisted flared denim with this bag or beneath joveralls.

+Cute, affordable shacket in the blue plaid and camel colorways!

+ICYMI: H&M’s new arrivals are on fire.

+I don’t know how I missed it, but this piece from Target’s designer collab with Sandy Liang is amazing! I would probably pair it with polished navy slides or loafers and a headband.

+These limited-edition floral slides are so incredibly chic, and would go with basically everything here.

+Speaking of fab shoes, these mules are perfect for the holiday party circuit.

+Corseted velvet dream.

+I know I’ve shared this before, but this sherpa funnel-neck is just so fun.

+As is this sherpa belt bag — currently 25% off!

+This patterned bulletin board is SO fun, and currently on sale! Kind of love this as a sneaky way to fill up part of an at-home office wall with color/design but save a little money (versus artwork).

+Such a classic dress, in a great moody blue.

+We are a ways out from Christmas, but these paper placemats in festive prints are so fab!

+This travel hanging bag looks impossibly well-designed.

+These striped pillows are so handsome (and on sale!), and these green herb-motif plates from the same shop are super chic and a great deal as well.

+Into some of the fall prints at Chappy Wrap, like this herringbone.

+All my favorite fall finds, in one place.

+Cute scores for little boys and fall basics for them, too.

+Fall athletic gear!

I’ve lately been inspired by McGee + Co’s aesthetic — a mix of rustic and refined pieces, mainly in neutrals, in interesting textures. I’m normally drawn to bolder colors and patterns, but — good design is good design! I am loving their new holiday collection (the early bird gets the worm!) and do note that they have a diffusion line with Target with some amazing pieces at great prices (I love this $40 wood-base lamp!). A few pieces from all over the place that are appealing to me in this vein:

The-Fashion-Magpie-Chic-Neutral-Finds-for-Home

DRAMATIC LAMP // FOSSILIZED CLAM // HORN AND BONE MIRROR // FAN PALM // MOSS BALLS // MARBLE FRUIT BOWL // PALMS BOOK // LACQUERED CONSOLE // TEAK STOOLS // CUTTING BOARD // CANDLE // SCALLOPED TRAY // PEDESTAL DINING TABLE // SOAP STONE CANDLE HOLDERS // PAMPAS GRASS (GREAT VALUE COMPARED TO BIG RETAILERS) // END TABLE // SET OF TWO LAMPS (YOU WON’T BELIEVE PRICE)

A few other finds in this vein:

WOODEN BOOK STAND

CARVED WOODEN STOOL

BOUCLE CHAIR

DECORATIVE WOOD BALLS

PENDANT

FEATHER DUSTER — COULD BE CHIC DECOR IF ARRANGED

PEDESTAL DINING TABLE

GLAZED PITCHER

BURL WOOD SIDE TABLE

DRIED PALM FROND

SWIVEL CHAIR

P.S. More recent home finds here and here.

P.P.S. Decorating for Halloween.

P.P.P.S. Admittedly boring things made better by great design.