The first few nights in our new home in Bethesda, Mr. Magpie and I were bewitched by cricketsong and destroyed by mosquitoes while sitting on our back porch. We were tired those days, our backs aching from unpacking boxes and the emotional fatigue of uprooting our lives from New York City and replanting them in the D.C. area, but I remember Mr. Magpie lacing his fingers through mine and sighing in a way that said: we made it home, and the crickets and cicadas and mosquitoes and spiders bearing witness to our silent communing only reified the sensation that we had shut the door on one noisy and urban chapter and opened another, with a different kind of noise — a therapeutic, buggy wilderness kind — waiting at our front stoop. During those early days in suburbia, our children would retreat from mornings spent trampling grass and foraging through the dense hedges into our neighbor’s yard with constellations of bug bites and twig scratches across their arms and legs. Imprints of a new lifestyle. Our move coincided with the tail end of the “Brood X” cicada hatch, and our children collected their shells in buckets, and crouched on the ground to investigate their sluggish movements, and ate al fresco breakfast, lunch, and dinner amidst their symphonies. And the very first night we spent in our new home, Mr. Magpie and I put ourselves to bed with the blinds up and sat with our backs against the headboard in the pitch black staring out the windows as fireflies lit up the sky. It must have been peak-mating season for them, as we never saw such a dramatic display again, but Mr. Magpie insisted the next night, and the one after, and every night since, that we sleep with the blinds up, and I think it has something to do with witnessing the sky and the seasons turn and not wanting to cosset himself from the calm those rhythms bring.
We are at peace here. I have lived in urban areas my entire life, and while we aren’t exactly “out in the sticks” living in Bethesda, I think something about owning a house where the first thing I see in the morning is green rather than concrete has changed something in me. The world could be on fire, and it has felt that way for a long time now thanks to COVID, and still there will be mosquitoes to swat and spiderwebs to cull and a fistful of raspberries to collect for breakfast. There will be dew on the lawn, and thin, wet blades of grass brought in by tiny bare feet shellacked to my kitchen floor. There will be conferences of fireflies mating one midsummer night in July, oblivious to the global disruptions borne of a pandemic. I am one tiny and unoriginal voice in a lineage of transcendentalists, and there is nothing new for me to offer in this vein, but still I must say it: the presence of the natural world in my daily life here reminds me to hold fast to what I know to be good and true. Beyond that, I am too poetic-minded not to imagine that the coincidences between enormous personal shifts in my own life and the Brood X hatch and the firefly orgy are in fact not coincidences at all, but, you know — God’s way of remaining anonymous while pointing my head in the right direction.
+On longing for nature during the early days of the pandemic. It is painful to reread those posts. We were just at the very beginning, and so fatigued already.
+If you’re into naturalist thinking, you must read Mary Oliver. Some musings on her work here, here, and here. And her book of essays is a delicious alternative if you aren’t interested in poetry.
Shopping Break.
+This bouquet of Halloween balloons would be such a fun surprise waiting at the children’s breakfast table on Halloween morning.
+This statement fleece is just so whimsical and unexpected! Get the vibe for less with this steal from H&M.
+Classic skinny cords in great colors — and if you’re looking for a more on-trend twist on cords, check these out from Anthro! Love love love! They also sell them in a full-length (non-cropped) variation which I would pair with pointed toe pumps and a cropped sweater for a more feminine/polished look.
+My children are obsessed with the TV show Bluey, and it’s a sweet show mainly about parents playing with their children and learning lessons along the way. Just ordered mini this sticker book. I like to keep my closet stocked with a few little surprises like these for rainy days, long car trips, etc.
*Image above showing some of my personal all-time favorite possessions: Aquazzura Powder Puff mules, which you can still find in very sparing variations on Outnet or gently used on The Real Real; a vintage jewel-buttoned cardigan from my grandmother; velvet cameo earrings from MissiGirlDesigns (generously gifted to me!); Sam Edelman velvet heels (this exact style, but they’ve discontinued the velvet burgundy colorway…the suedes, especially the navy suede!, are fantastic though!); Lele Sedoughi cord headband (exact style here in a fab emerald green, or get the look in burgundy for a fraction of the price here); and black velvet Amazon headband, somehow sold in a pack of four for $10, but I just wear the black one!
I am loving all of the dramatic statement accessories out this season! Halo headbands, embellished heels, oversized bows — give me all of it! I love these accessories to jazz up a white blouse or tee and jeans, but let’s be real — I’m an extra-on-extra kinda gal, and I love to layer with other shimmery, jewel-toned finds, like this puff-sleeved blouse or a satin skirt (look for less). Also kinda digging this midnight blue satin slip dress…wow! So chic!
If you are an expecting mama, these embellished accessories are your ticket to making it through maternity-wear in style. You can just wear the same denim/leggings and white maternity tops and accessorize to high holiday with all of the pieces below!
I want to mention that tomorrow morning, one of my favorite jewelry designers, Nicola Bathie, will be launching a collection of dresses, shoes, and accessories with Antonio Melani very much in this vein and I am hoping to get my hands on a pair of these jeweled heels she posted about.
P.P.S. A lot of you loved the Moncler puffer I featured in my burgundy roundup, but not the price. I found a similar style for $100 here that would be fun with the pieces above.
Mr. Magpie has been playing tennis once or twice a week since moving back to D.C. and has accordingly asked for some new duds. A few of my favorite finds for him:
+This under-$200 dress is perfect for fall weddings, and in the perfect on-trend shade of burgundy. J’adore. I’m dreaming of pairing it with velvet burgundy platforms.
What are your favorite movies of all time? I’m sure I have some holes in my repertoire, although — like many of you, I presume — I really worked on rounding out my filmography resume during this pandemic. Still, curious to hear your list. I’m asking specifically for “favorite” — not necessarily “the best movie ever” on technical counts, but movies you watch again and again and again, year after year.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY*
AS GOOD AS IT GETS**
UNCLE BUCK
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
THE GODFATHER I AND II
BEST IN SHOW
SABRINA (THE NEW ONE WITH HARRISON FORD — CONTROVERSIAL, I KNOW)*
FATHER OF THE BRIDE*
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
CLUELESS
PRETTY WOMAN
PRIDE & PREJUDICE (KIERA KNIGHTLY VERSION)
LITTLE WOMEN (WINONA RYDER VERSION, THOUGH I DID ENJOY THE REPRISE)
TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE
*I watch these three movies about 50 times a year each. I put them on whenever I can’t sleep. I also love watching bad rom-coms when I can’t sleep. Have you ever seen Fools Rush In? It’s not good, but I love it, and how gorgeous is Salma Hayek?! Other rom-coms I love, some “bad-good” and others very good: The Proposal, While You Were Sleeping, Something Borrowed, Just Go With It, She’s All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, American President, Midnight in Paris, Two Weeks Notice, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Begin Again, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Plus One, Something’s Gotta Give, It’s Complicated.
**As far as I’m concerned, the best screenplay ever written. The dialogue is flawless. Acting is also ridiculously good!
I also have a very warm spot in my heart for a ridiculously silly movie called A Million Ways to Die in the West, which Mr. Magpie and I nostalgically re-watch every year or so. We watched it for the first time during a very difficult time in our lives, and I remember laughing through tears. Sometimes laughter truly is the best medicine.
This list omits holiday movies, which is an entirely different category we’ll get to later, and generally steers away from horror/thriller flicks, which I also really enjoy watching, especially on fall evenings with a good bottle of red wine or maybe a cocktail rimmed with spicy salt. Mr. Magpie and I love (!) the movie Scream and watch it every year around Halloween. Horror movies are so interesting in that they tend to be hyper self-aware and allusive; the really good ones foreground their own conventions in fascinating ways.
In terms of the best movies I’ve ever seen on a technical level (acting, cinematography, etc.), I was totally and utterly rocked by Manchester by the Sea whenever it came out. I mean, I could not function after watching that movie. It was spectacularly moving. More recently, I thought 1917 was superb — one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time, on every level — acting, pace, music, set, cinematography, etc. Other movies that have blown me away: Whiplash, Saving Private Ryan, Deerhunter, The Shining, Gladiator, Dances with Wolves, Braveheart. I wouldn’t say I watch those on a yearly basis though. Sometimes one viewing is enough!
What movies do you watch year after year?
Post-Scripts: Ulla Dress.
+This Ulla dress may have jumped to the top of my lust list for Thanksgiving.
+Love these chunky knit stockings for Christmas this year!
+This bustier top would transform any midi skirt into an evening-appropriate look. Would also be chic with wide-leg trousers like these!
+Adore the simple, chic, and affordable letterpress cards from Ornament Press — xoxo and Thank You would be fab additions to your stationery folio. (BTW, these Sorbus bins are the perfect width for holding most stationery!)
I have to say I found a bunch of really chic pieces at Loft this week, and they are currently 50% off AND free ship with code CYBER — below, my favorite finds and how I’d style them…
+Denim ruffle collar blouse. SO on-trend! Love layered beneath a ladylike jacket with high-rise trousers (or these). Also like the denim blouse with a fall midi skirt like this, this, or this. (If you need more inspo on how to style an exaggerated collar blouse, check out the street style snaps here.)
+Tapered-leg wool pants. So incredibly chic with burgundy suede or velvet pumps and a smocked-neck blouse and a tweed blazer over the shoulders.
+Quilted vest in burgundy or chartreuse. Perfect for an athleisure morning with coordinating aligns (maroon or copper colored depending, a boxy white or colored LS tee, a cord ballcap, and NB 327s.
+High rise kick crop jeans. These remind me of VB’s Carlys. Pair with a statement blouse like this or sweater like this and a great cord headband.
+Leather clogs. Pair with floaty dresses like this!
+Finally, white blouses with a little extra interest like this or this are great for pairing with your favorite jeans or work pants when you want something easy and chic.
+And, not from Loft, but these two blouses reminded me of Ulla Johnson, and both are under $120!: this moody blue and this golden beauty.
P.P.P.S. In case you need to hear it today: “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” More of these beautiful and wise words here.
By: Jen Shoop
I’m always intrigued by glimpses into the mornings of others, and a favorite blogger of mine, Megan Stokes, recently shared her morning routine. Like Megan, I envy those who rise early, as I imagine capturing even 30 minutes of quiet by myself would ground and center me. But that is not me (or Megan), at least not now. During this season of life, Mr. Magpie and I take turns waking up with the children while the other “sleeps in” for an extra 30 minutes. Mini unfailingly sprints into our room at 6:50 on the dot, when her “OK to wake clock” lets her know it is OK to start the day. We frankly have no idea what time she actually wakes. There was one morning I caught a splinter of light from her bedroom at 4:34 a.m. She was awake, playing, ready for the day (!). I attempted to put her back in bed, but she resisted. Needless to say, she put herself to bed early that night. I believe she now typically wakes closer to 6:30 on her own, and will quietly play with stickers or her Lego sets until “Mella” turns green and she comes trotting to my bedside to wake me. Most mornings, she begs me to play with her, which I usually oblige, still half-asleep and barely capable of conversation let alone imaginative play. But I try. I try to wait until micro is stirring before going into him, but sometimes mini will barrel in, high-octane style. He is usually up by around 7 anyhow, and it’s the same routine every morning: turn off the sleep machine, raise the blinds, change his diaper, and watch the two of them gaze out the window at the neighbor’s front door in order to let me know whether Freya the dog is in view. There were a string of days just after we moved in where one of Freya’s balls had been placed on a newel post of the neighbors’ deck, and it was the subject of much curiosity. How did it get there, Mama? Does Freya want it? Nearly every morning since it disappeared from the post, micro has pointed and said, with some disappointment, “ball, all gone.” I wonder how long this game will persist. It is typically my first interaction with him in the morning and it feels in some way metaphysical, conjuring faint memories of thinking about Aristotle and Sisyphus back in college.
At this point, we descend to the kitchen and I prepare the children’s breakfast while they play in the family room. They have been on a major Duplo streak and are usually preoccupied with them while I make breakfast, which is usually peanut butter on waffles, oatmeal, Puffins cereal and milk, or peanut butter toast with bananas sliced on top, plus always fresh fruit and yogurt. We recently realized how much sugar is in most brands of yogurt and now mini is decidedly less interested in it. Micro still loves it though — we give him Siggis or plain Fage mixed with a little jam, which still has far less sugar in it than premixed flavors.
At some point, I ask Siri to read me the news and forecast so I have the gist of the day and can listen while I am bustling around the kitchen. Once the children are settled in front of their breakfasts, I take their temperatures and text mini’s to her school and then tie mini’s hair back and apply her eyepatch. Then I empty the dishwasher and pack mini’s lunch. Nearly every morning, I ask myself why I do not do this the night before. Mini is a very picky eater at the moment. I try to present her with a different lunch each day of the week, because if she had her druthers, it would be peanut butter and jelly every day of the week and twice on Tuesday. Menu options she will actually eat are limited. The only fail-proofs are: a bagel or cinnamon raisin bread with cream cheese, buttered noodles and meatballs, a croissant or crackers with provolone and salami on the side (yes, salami — she is ultra-picky but loves salami!?), PBJ (we use sunbutter instead of PB for school allergy reasons), or pizza (luckily, she likes cauliflower crust pizza, which makes me feel better). Sigh. Hoping we emerge from this season of pickiness soon. One strong plus is that she loves fruit and many vegetables, too, so we at least get quite a bit of that into her lunch box every week.
Once mini’s lunch and snack are packed (for snack, it’s usually some combination of apple, raisins, cheese and crackers, freeze-dried fruit, orange slices, grapes, crackers with sunbutter on them), I prepare breakfast for Mr. Magpie and myself, which — for the last few weeks — has been exclusively whole milk yogurt topped with Michele’s granola, berries from our garden (Mr. Magpie presents me with a palmful every morning), and a drizzle of honey. But we’ve gone through other stretches of loving acai bowls, English muffins with zaatar, and oatmeal with all the toppings, so I’m sure once the raspberry harvest has dried up, we’ll be on to something else.
At this point, Mr. Magpie is down and we’re catching up. He almost always has something on his mind — a funny text, a news article, a reminder about the day — and we chat about it in fits and starts as we work through our routines. He usually tends to his garden and walks Tilly in between bites of yogurt.
Once I’ve prepared breakfast for Mr. Magpie and myself, I read through reader comments, emails, and direct messages, and post something to Instagram about whatever I’ve written for the day. Then I participate in my daily digital prayer circle with my mom and sister and try to read a page out of my devotional. It doesn’t always happen in the morning, but when it does, it feels spectacular. If I’m too rushed or distracted, though, which does occasionally happen in the morning chaos, I will postpone prayer until later in the day, when I can properly focus.
After, I run up to collect the children’s outfits for the day and bring them down to the family room. Mini is in a phase where she will often dress herself first thing in the morning. I encourage and support this, but there are sometimes modifications that must be made depending on weather and…the fact that she has these two graphic tees she loves that I will not let her wear to school. (I have stocked up on cute alternatives for her, though!). I will either help her dress or modify her outfit and then properly tie her hair back for the day, usually in two pigtails or a low ponytail and always finished with a bow (we love Wee Ones) and this hair spray. She has very fine hair and for the longest time it was always slipping into her eyes. This spray helps, and smells great too. After she’s fully outfitted, I turn my attention to micro, but that often happens after mini’s left for school with her father, at 8:15. We wave them off and then I have 45 minutes with my boy. I get him dressed and then most mornings try to complete an activity with him — something simple like a puzzle, a matching game, a sensory bin, duplos, a few books — before I go up to get dressed. He is usually on my heels and enjoys putzing around in my makeup drawers but sometimes he will play quietly in his room with his dinosaurs or puzzles while I’m getting myself ready. My skincare routine is irritatingly long at this point. I splash with water, cleanse with this oil, and then apply, in this exact order: a hyaluronic toning mist, Clarins eye serum, Biossance Vitamin C rose oil, Clarins double serum, and SPF. My skin is always glowing and glistening but it does feel like a lot of steps. I then apply my everyday makeup and get dressed. I have to say one of the small but meaningful luxuries in our new house is heated floors in the master bath. Heavenly! I pinch myself nearly every morning I set foot in there. Once I’m outfitted, I spritz on perfume (I recently started using this Diptyque scent and I could not love it more), put on my pearl earrings (I sleep in the rest of my everyday jewelry), and I’m ready for the day.
I usually tidy the children’s bedrooms as well as the family room and then put away breakfast dishes until our nanny arrives at 9 a.m. We catch up on the children and then I retreat to my office to write. Mr. Magpie is usually back from drop-off around 9:10, and he will prepare my coffee and bring it to me, just the way I like it. He is too good to me.
I am sure these are not novel insights for anyone, but thinking through my regimen, a few things that help smooth out my morning:
1) Keeping an eye on the clock. If the children are not seated at breakfast by 7:15, or the lunch is not packed by 7:45, or I’m not bringing mini’s clothing down by 8, I know I need to pick up the pace or drop something, i.e., the dishwasher can wait until later. Having this schedule and these mini-deadlines in mind also gives me little pockets to perch at the counter and respond to emails, or enjoy an extra scoop of yogurt, or whatever, if I am moving ahead of schedule.
2) Whenever possible, prayer early in the morning makes for a far more centered day. I have to be flexible on this, because if I insist I fit it in, I know myself well enough to expect that I will rush through prayer, and I don’t want that. Still, when it happens, I feel as though I’m starting the day pointed in the right direction.
3) If I don’t pack lunch the night before (ha — I never ever do), I will at least have planned what I’m going to make her so she doesn’t, for example, have peanut butter for breakfast and lunch, and I don’t stand vacantly in front of the fridge for five minutes.
4) I keep mini’s glasses, eyepatch, a bin of all her hair gear (spray, brushes, bows, elastics), and thermometer on the same shelf of a cabinet off our kitchen. Having all of those items on-hand in the same place makes the morning much simpler. I used to find myself sprinting up and downstairs in search of a brush, hair ties, etc, and I learned quickly that I needed a separate station downstairs to prevent that.
What about you? How do you start your day? How do you set yourself up for success?
+Heads up! If you are a Madewell Insider (free to join), they are offering 20% off the entire site. All my favorite picks from Madewell this season here!
+Speaking of athletic wear, my new running shoes are selling out everywhere and apparently on back-order until late fall…get ’em while you can! Nordstrom still has a few pairs, too.
+Oo these velvet bejeweled mules for the holidays! SO chic. The style reminds me of Jimmy Choo.
+It’s been a minute since I mentioned these simple plastic bins, but they are SO useful for SO many things. Toy/art storage, beach/pool toys, picnics, etc.
+Fringe is having a moment — love this jacket and this one, too!
By: Jen Shoop
A chic pea I follow on Instagram recently returned from Europe and reported that “all the stylish women there are wearing denim shirts and dresses.” I love a denim shirt/dress moment. If you’re into the overshirt vibe seen above, consider this affordable H&M or this Target score! Rounding up a few favorite denim pieces for fall here…
P.P.S. How do you deal with interruptions? They are so hard!
P.P.P.S. This dress is a top-seller! Imagine with a velvet burgundy pump for a fall affair. Chic!
By: Jen Shoop
I received a number of requests on the same subjects and so organized either entire posts or parts of my shop to help with those: Halloween costumes for littles, fall home decor, wedding guest dresses, and bridal finds. Keep the questions coming!
Also a note: I mention Daphne Wilde’s elegant dresses below, and the lovely founder Britt has offered Magpie readers 10% off purchases with code thefashionmagpie.
Q: New loafers for fall!
A: Chic! Love a loafer. I adore the look of a classic Brixton Gucci loafer with light-wash denim, but Tod’s are a forever favorite of mine and are so fresh in white (imagine with a crisp blouse like this). These shearling Malone Souliers are fabulous and trend-forward if you lean that way. And Aeyde has a slick versatile pair that would work well with dresses and trousers and jeans alike (one lucky size 40 can score a pair in white croc on sale for under $130 here). And then Tory Burch! I am in love with these green croc ones with the gold hardware and her charming jacquard floral (same style on sale in solid colors here)! Last but not least, these black leather and suede ones from Madewell are sleek and on-trend (and under $100)!
Q: Plates to arrange on wall above sofa where we have a big blank space.
A: I love the idea of these cabbage plates on a wall! I would either do the same color in different shapes/sizes (like imagine a big platter in the middle, or an artful arrangement of different sizes in a radial pattern) or mix in some contrasting prints but keep all the plates roughly the same size. I also have always loved the Wedgewood jasperware look, so could be chic to do a wall of those! Alternately, Etsy is a treasure trove for this sort of thing. Some shops will actually curate a set for your wall, like this one or this one. Or if you want to pick a color, search for vintage plates in that color. How great are these ship ones in brown or these mismatched blue and whites ones (mix in some other chinoiserie prints, too)?! A different vibe, but these wicker plates could look amazing, too, in a family room with a coastal vibe and maybe a wicker table (currently 20% off!) to tie it together.
Q: Easy fall outfits for school drop off, soccer practice/games, errands.
I also shared a bunch of chic athleisure looks here if that’s more your look!
Q: Sister-in-law is helping to host a baby shower! Something unique and not too small.
A: I assume you mean you are looking for a gift to thank your SIL? So sweet of her (and you). I shared some chic gifts here but items that jump to mind for me…
A LEONTINE LINEN MONOGRAM JEWELRY ROUND — HEIRLOOM QUALITY!
A SPECIAL PIECE OF JEWELRY — MAYBE THIS LOVELY SIGNET RING OR AN ENGRAVED HEART
A: A Chanel wallet on a chain or Celine box bag. (You can tuck the chain inside the Chanel and remove the Celine strap). These are the ultimate — go from day to night, can be worn at any age and with any outfit, especially in the classic black. I also think this simple gently-used Celine pouch (I don’t think they make the style anymore?) would be a forever-chic piece in your wardrobe. If you are talking about for evening, this box clutch from Bottega (not the slouchy dumpling style) will stand the test of time and look fabulous forever. For me, this woven Pam Munson clutch will be a forever-wear piece — I love pearls, I love wicker, I love the entire vibe. Can be worn with sundresses or cocktail dresses! For the same reason, love (!) Mark Cross’ timeless Grace box bags.
Q: Down comforter — I know you recommended Feathered Friends, but which one?
A: We have this one in the medium weight. It is heaven and worth every penny. We sleep on these Amazon pillows, which are also heaven.
Q: Small gold hoops I will have forever.
A: Love this — I did a roundup of all my favorite gold hoops here! I am thinking Jennifer Zeuner’s might be the best bet for you.
Q: Matted frames to hang on the wall to display wedding photos and newborn portraits.
A: I’ve used Framebridge in the past for this and have been pleased. I like these crisp white ones for more of a clean, gallery-like feel and these gold bamboo ones for a more eclectic/textured feel. I’ve also had great luck at Pottery Barn – I especially like the styles with a lot of extra matting. So dramatic!
Q: Chic wide or semi-wide leg crop jeans less than $200.
A: DL1961’s Hepburn pants are having a moment — I love them in that ecru color, but they are also available for just over $200 ($209) in dark washes. Madewell has a very similar style out this season, too. I have a pair of Gap sky-high wide-leg crops in ecru I wear allll the time — similar pair in a denim wash here. More options along these lines here!
Q: We’re taking family photos with a pro photographer in mid October for the first time since our oldest daughter was born almost 4 years ago, and I thought I’d check with you to see if you have any dress recs for me! I know I want it to be light and airy with long sleeves and a long length (and that will be flattering for an awkward 2.5 month baby bump). I’m thinking the girls might wear either light pink or light blue or ivory so I’m thinking something cream / light blue / light pink as well. The setting will be in a pretty park with autumn hues (greens, beiges).
A: Congratulations!! This Sleeper gingham still feels so chic and relevant to me, and would work well with tiny bump. A bit more avant garde, but I also love this LSF and this bold floral from SEA. And a splurge, but this LMF would make for such pretty pictures — the silhouette is so chic, and that big bow! Less in the pastel family, but this dress from The Great is spectacular.
Q: A dress for my son’s Christening in October.
A: Congratulations! CE Finn has some beautiful shirtdresses in seasonally-appropriate patterns that might speak to you. This is so elegant and could be “winterized” with some navy suede pointed toe pumps and a padded velvet headband. A fall floral dress like this would also be very elegant — the ivory background would look sweet against a baby’s christening gown. I’d probably accent with burgundy or ivory accessories. This Roksanda would be a dramatic and stately option, too. Alternately, you could go the timeless tweed route with a dress like this (Carrie Bradshaw vibes!) or this. Finally, if it will be warm where you are at the time, I just love (!) this pretty Philosophy by Lorenzo Serafini dress.
A: Check out my girlfriend Christina’s business, St. Frank! They frame lots of artisenal textiles. Love this pink one. Love this blue set from Pottery Barn, too.
Q: Tote bag for law school? Needs to be sturdy but not too briefcase-y.
A: Cuyana’s zip top totes are classic, demure, and well-made for the price. Similar, higher-end pick: Mansur Gavriel. I also love Clare Vivier’s slightly funkier styles, like this quilted tote or this suede one. If you want a sportier vibe, people love these State of Escape totes!
Q: Fall family photos — cream/tan/blue/maroon palette.
A: Love this color palette! On you: this dress or this one. On the littles: this dress (or this one for a littler lady); this shorts set for a wee man. On your man: corduroys and either a blue shirt or a contrasting plaid shirt (a little louder/bolder vibe but would work). More coordinating family portrait outfits here.
P.S. If none of this speaks to you, start with a dress you love (lots of burgundy options here and other fab fall dresses here) and then check out La Coqueta, Classic Prep, Sal e Pimenta, and Bellabliss for coordinating pieces. I find those brands tend to have the most diversity of patterns/colors/styles I like.
Q: Tall boots to wear with dresses.
A: I am absolutely in love with Loeffler Randall’s Goldy boot. It is a forever piece — classic, timeless, elegant, great proportions. I have several pairs of their boots that I’ve had for coming up on a decade. Just the best craftsmanship, and definitely worth getting resoled/re-heeled as needed. Schutz has a fab boot out this season in black or snakeskin — go bold and wear the snakeskin as a neutral with other patterns, taking cues from Ulla Johnson! Finally, I like the Isabel Marant “urban cowgirl” vibe — tall suede cowboys! They look so comfortable to wear (i.e., they are almost flat!) and would look great with a fall midi or mini dress. You can get the Isabel boot look for less with these or these. The key for me is that they are suede. Love the contrast! Finally, these Alexandre Birmans are timeless (and heavily discounted) and these Stauds make a chic, retro-mod statement.
Q: Towel hook for a little boy’s bathroom.
A: These modern-looking ones come in such good colors. Would be fun to add a little pop of color that coordinates with whatever else is going on in your bathroom — i.e., the fern green to tie in with Weezie towels with the green piping? Pottery Barn’s sussex hooks are classic for a more traditional look, and then how fun are these animal ones?
And (!) – LoveShackFancy is at Gilt for the next day or so. Don’t sleep on the discounted knits! I love this cropped muted green style for layering over floaty fall dresses, this pastel fair isle, and this pink pullover. This charmeuse floral dress is also gorgeous.
P.P.P.S. Reflections on myself as a teen: “I was self-diminishingly vigilant and obsequious to others, and academics was one way to shine brightly while observing silence and harming no one. It was an aggressive sport with no obvious victim, and I was viciously competitive in its play.”
By: Jen Shoop
I will never forget the day I told my mother that “first and foremost, my job is to be a good mom.” I was running on fumes as I adjusted to life as a mother to two, and had the dark circles under my eyes and jittery exhaustion to prove it. I was putting everything else aside and, in that moment, was attempting to make some logical sense of the chaos around me, as if asserting that my only job was to care for my children might absolve me of the areas in my life slouching in disarray. She interrupted with: “No, first and foremost your job is to take good care of yourself.” The assertion shook me. I looked upon myself differently from that day onward. I can’t say I always made the right decisions in support of that newborn awareness — I still forewent naps in order to tidy the house, hosted too many guests, signed up for too many activities, and routinely stayed up too late. But it was as though a parenthetical had been made an independent clause. I drew myself out from the brackets and reminded myself that I was a core and substantive clause in our family grammar, not to be sublimated.
But it can be hard, on a logistical level, to take good care of yourself when you have others clinging to your skirts, and it can be hard, on an emotional level, to accommodate self-care as anything but a luxury. In spite of my mother’s insistence two years ago, I still grapple with guilt on this point. Most Thursdays, I go out for a manicure after work ends. It feels painfully selfish. My husband is exhausted from a full day of work, and I jingle my keys and dash out the door, leaving him with two tired and hungry children clamoring for our attention. Sometimes, micro is hot on my heels, and I can see his little round face pressed against the window watching me back out of the driveway, his mouth a tiny inverted “u” shape. I routinely think to myself: “I really shouldn’t do this.” I feel badly missing out on the hour with my children since I am away from them most of the day, and I also know how tough that hour can be as a parent, and so I feel badly abandoning Mr. Magpie at that particular time. And what kind of actual peace or self-care does a manicure bring anyhow? It is not as though I’m leaving to meditate or practice yoga. I feel less guilty leaving to run, since exercise feels more clearly medicinal, or prophylactic, or related to mental wellness. A manicure just feels…frivolous.
And yet.
It is an hour of aloneness. Of doing something that brings me joy, and makes me feel more pulled-together, and affords me the “background processing time” to unpack my day and steady myself. I can’t be tempted to do anything or multi-task while driving to the salon and having my nails painted. Sometimes, I do try to read, but I’ve never quite gotten the hang of it as I always feel I’m frustrating the technician by withdrawing my hand to flip the page. So most of the time, I am sitting there in a kind of blank and neutral state and I come to all kinds of interesting thoughts and conclusions. Even though I always (literally, always) sprint back to my car and hurry home when my nails have dried, I feel as though that hour of solitude, doing something girly for myself, re-centers me. I swear I walk back in that house a changed woman.
There is an interesting, rather provocative essay by Elizabeth Gilbert tangentially related to this subject in which she answers the question: “Is it selfish to go on a spiritual journey?” Of course, I am not equating manicures with spiritual journeys, but there is a common thread there in that Gilbert (who wrote Eat Pray Love) combatted her fair share of criticism about the self-centeredness of her book’s narrative and the seeming implication that self-knowledge can or should be attained by lavishly traveling the world (to hell with jobs and responsibilities!). At the end of her essay, she writes: “I was once told that in Mandarin there are two words that both translate into “SELFISH” in English. One means “Doing something that benefits you.” The other means, “Doing something that benefits you at the expense of others.” In English, we don’t have this distinction. But there is a recognition in Chinese that these are two different notions — that it is not necessarily true that anything you do for yourself harms others. Sometimes you can do wonderful and important things for yourself without taking a thing away from another human being. This is the difference between self-care and greed.”
I found the distinction intriguing and possibly helpful to this conversation.
What about you? Have you grappled with the same emotions? How have you come to peace with self-care as a mother?
POPATU HAS SEVERAL PRECIOUS PLAID DRESSES FOR DRESSY OCCASIONS OR FAMILY PORTRAITS FOR LITTLE ONES AT GOOD PRICES — LOVE THIS ONE, THIS ONE, AND THIS ONE
P.P.S. Children’s toys you won’t mind leaving out.
P.P.P.S. What are your children dressing up as for Halloween? Costume ideas here in case you’re still plotting.
By: Jen Shoop
We enjoyed a beautiful suburban weekend, both sprawled out and busy. A blue crab feast with friends, ballet and soccer classes, a dinner party at home with family (we served Publican Chicken — le best, les best — served just how they serve it at the restaurant in Chicago, over crispy potatoes nestled alongside grilled, smoked sausage), car-washing, a picnic in the park, and a long Sunday morning that just dripped by, honey-like, as we stood barefoot in the cul de sac chatting with neighbors and watching our children play tag and huddle around Playmobil sets and pause to watch the planes jet overhead. The ease and unencumberedness of it all still startles and delights me. It sometimes feels like I’m still unwinding from New York City, from the intensity of living there during the pandemic, from the move, from all the decision-making. My sister mentioned the other day that she has never seen me more at peace. It is true; I can feel the change in my bones. I know life cannot always be this way, and so instead, I will just echo Ginzburg: “God has given us this moment of peace,” and I am deeply grateful for it.
Anyhow, a couple of random missives this morning…
+We’ve had a sprinkling of cooler evenings and mornings and I have been unabashedly indulging in fall clothing. Today, I wore these boyfriend jeans, a pair of Gucci flats (a few seasons old, you can find some pairs on eBay/PoshMark), a padded burgundy headband, and an army green half-zip. The colors are doing me right. I also really love the look of this smocked-neck blouse under skinny overalls — I wore this outfit apple picking with some Chanel espadrilles. The footwear was a poor choice (swap for sneakers!), but I’ve never been known for practicality, so…
+And yet — when we hosted dinner on Saturday night, it was like 95 degrees and 100% humidity out. I wore this sundress, which is under $40 and reminds me of one of my favorite Schumacher fabric prints.
+I’m so glad headbands are still on-trend. They always make me feel just a little more pulled-together for some reason, especially when I’m tired of what’s in my closet. Currently setting my sights on this velvet “salmon-colored” one, which would be seriously fetching with all things burgundy.
+New fun fall patchwork dress. So perfect for clogs.
+Also loving this ease-into-fall dress from The Great! The embroidery!!!
+Just treated myself to this spicy margarita salt. Mr. Magpie is highly adventurous and inventive with cocktails but if I’m in the driver’s seat, I invariably make one of three things: a margarita, a Tom Collins, or a Gin and Tonic (with Fever Tree tonic). I love a spicy margarita but often lack the foresight to prepare jalapeno-infused simple syrup, or to even buy jalapenos to begin with. I’m thinking the spicy margarita salt will stand in as a fun substitute for such planning — I’ll just rim the glass of a traditionally prepared marg with it. Yeehaw! It just dawned on me that I might give away the second jar as a hostess gift to a friend…
+Speaking of hostess gifts, I am totally obsessed with Michele’s Granola (which is a local Maryland business!) and have been giving it away as hostess gifts! I can find it at my local Whole Foods, too, but convenient that they sell the three packs on Amazon in case you can’t find it, or just want to stock up so you have a clever hostess gift on hand. It is SO good! I love the almond butter flavor best but have been making my way through all the flavors.
+Another note on hostess gifts: we also have had occasion to bring friends bottles of wine for dinner, etc, and instead of using those wine gift bags, I bought a pack of these cello wine bags and tie off with a seasonally-appropriate ribbon and tuck a TrueTap wine key in there.
+Our teak dining table for the back patio arrived! I am ecstatic and in love with it. We paired it with these dining chairs (we went for the ones with arms since I find it so much more comfortable for outdoor dining to have arms — especially if you are sitting out there for a few hours, enjoying crabs, or watching the sun go down, etc), and we got the yellow and white sunbrella stripe cushions, which add so much fun and color to the area. The table currently looks great with yellow mums in a chinoiserie planter on top! One thing I realized when hosting dinner on it for the first time last weekend was how enormous it is — which is fantastic as we can host a ton of people around it, and there is a lot of surface area for holding platters, etc., — but I need new, larger table linens! In the immediate term, I ordered these inexpensive hyacinth chargers.
+The above photo makes me want a cup of coffee so badly. All our favorite coffee and tea service gear here.
+MissiGirl Designs just sent me the cutest pair of velvet cameo earrings for fall. Such a fun accessory.
+This plaid flannel dress for a tiny one is 40% off ATM, as is this sherpa vest, which was just restocked after being sold out in many sizes.
+This loose-cut navy maxi shirtdress is under $30 and perfect for everyday fall wear with some smart flats/mules.
+We are hosting a little Halloween parade the day before Halloween this year with some little ones, and I’m beginning to plan out some tiny surprises. I think I might do some sort of station where the children can assemble/decorate a cupcake using gummy worms, sprinkles, candy eyeballs, and cupcake toppers.
+This tiny fair isle cardigan is absolutely precious.
+The best under-$10 eyeliner. I just love this stuff. It rivals much higher-end/prestige cosmetics brands and you can achieve the finest line with it.
+These new repositionable sticker books from Melissa & Doug preoccupied my children for hours over the last week.
+Looking for a new candle, and think I might try either this one (which promises to transport you to “the quiet stillness of a traditional library” — YES) or this one. I know many of you swear by the latter small label!
+Keep coming back to this top, currently marked way down. It is so me in every way. This navy feels even more on-trend and seasonally-versatile, though…swoon.
+These tiny velvet pumpkins are darling to decorate a little one’s bookcase…
