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A brief week of outfits — I was a bit all over the place with travel and getting back into a routine! But you will notice a lot of this 3.1 Phillip Lim bag, which I’ve worn all week long (I tore open the box when I got home). It’s currently included in the 3.1 Phillip Lim clearance sale, plus I believe an extra 20% off with code JOY20. Retailed for almost $900, and around $220 with the code. I am delighted by her. She does not have a shoulder strap but she’s the perfect size otherwise for holding all your necessities. Such a great “going out to lunch / dinner / etc” bag. I got her in the coffee color, and love the versatility — she reads gray / brown / taupe / beige in different contexts. Perfect.

I also wanted to mention that Alice Walk restocked their sure-to-sell-out-again wool cape in navy and camel (run!!!) — I’m wearing the mink color cape a few photos below. This is such a gorgeous statement piece and I reach for her season after season.

ALEX MILL JACKET // ALEX MILL SWEATER // LA LIGNE TROUSERS // CELINE SUNGLASSES // DORSEY EARRINGS // 3.1 PHILLIP LIM BAG

ALIGNE CARDIGAN // J. MCLAUGHLIN ARTLETTE TURTLENECK // CITIZENS MARCELLE UTILITY PANTS // DORSEY EARRINGS // 3.1 PHILLIP LIM BAG // DORSEY HEART NECKLACE

KILTE CARDIGAN // 3.1 PHILLIP LIM BAG // SLVRLAKE GRACE JEANS // DOLCE VITA FLATS // SOLD OUT CASHMERE TURTLENECK // MARCH HARE WATCH // ALICE WALK CAPE

How adorable are mini’s shoes? Childrenchic sent them to her and she tore them out of the box! She is such a fashion surprise to me. She hates frilly things, ornate patterns, etc, but went ga-ga over these glitzy shoes! Her entire outfit is frankly a shock to me — she saw this outfit at Zara (skirt, sweater) and begged me for it, and how could I say no?!

MINI’S SKIRT // MINI’S SWEATER // MINI’S MARY JANES

FRANK AND EILEEN SWEATSUIT (USE CODE APPLE FOR $50 OFF, OR TRY THIS MAGPIE READER LOOK FOR LESS FIND: THIS SET, UNDER $50) // DORSEY EARRINGS // DORSEY HEART NECKLACE

SKIMS TEE // MOTHER HALF PIPE JEANS // CHAPPYWRAP SHAWL (JEN15 FOR 15% OFF)

LATER, ADDED THIS HILL HOUSE JACKET, DORSEY EARRINGS, AND THE 3.1 PHILLIP LIM BAG

Finally, I did not wear these this week but I did try them on and they are selling FAST so I wanted to share! Both are Hill House. I think I might wear the first one on Christmas Eve. I absolutely love the shape / silhouette! The second one is more of a soft brushed flannel-like feel and I think you could dress it down a bit with a flat/boot.

I was so charmed by all of your responses to my latest round of icebreakers. If you’ve not shared your responses yet, please do; I delight in reading all of these. I like to pore over them while enjoying a cocktail (think I’ll be making this classic tonight), reading my favorite bits to Mr. Magpie. Even this narrow routine reminds me of something I love about Mr. Magpie: he is my number one fan, and has usually read all of the comments on my blog posts before I have — ! He will often say, “Did you see what Aoife wrote today?” (Lol! Hi Aoife!) Because of this, I’m usually repeating things he’s already read, but he’ll sit there and listen again, and laugh, ever-game. Anyhow, I treasured all your recent responses (“Sweet potato fries – why? Just have the real deal”), but I especially savored the strange things you find attractive about your spouses and wanted to share them all here. A poetic patchwork of weird, wild love. A reminder that love is always looking for us, often where you least expect it —

The way he notices when I’m almost out of my favorite shampoo and orders it for me

The way he looks in scrubs

How he puts crushed red pepper on almost everything – because it’s just him

How he wears a backpack; in the past I’d tease him, but now I love seeing him getting ready to go places, and the level of organisation in the whole system

That he’s aging — I think we tend to fetishize youth in our culture but the fact that he needs glasses now, he’s bigger and hairier and has silver temples and laugh lines is so attractive

How his speech changes slightly when we visit his family; I love hearing his childhood accent come out

When he tells me about farm equipment (his grandfather had a working farm), heavy road equipment (that same grandfather worked for the state road dept), and metal working (his other grandfather worked for the railroad)

His innate ability to get the silliest songs or ditties stuck in my head

How he wears a ball cap

The way they consume information – constantly, earnestly, unapologetically

The layer of dried salt on his arms when he comes home from fishing

 How warmly and effortlessly he hollers a big “Hello!” to each neighbor we pass on evening walks; I love to ride on the coattails of his extroversion

****

“Riding on the coattails of his extroversion” could be the alt title for my relationship dynamic with Mr. Magpie — ha! And co-sign on ball caps. Did you know there’s an entire TikTok/Insta trend where women post videos of their husbands wearing no caps, caps with the bill forward, and caps with the bill backward, demonstrating the crescendoing appeal of each look? Ha!

Post Scripts.

+10 I Love Yous.

+That summer I behaved badly.

+That day Mr. Magpie gave me an envelope containing the world.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate linksIf you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Sephora launched one of its tiered sales events — VIB Rouge get early access starting today. All of my beauty faves from Sephora here. Two items I am waiting to order at a discount — this makeup setting spray I can’t live without (just finished my last bottle and I notice an ENORMOUS difference when I am not using it) and this concealer, which I am very, very impressed with. Cle de Peau (<<actually 15% off here) is probably the best on the market but it’s so $$ that I find myself alternating with less expensive options. This one is my current fave.

+I saw Shannon wearing this pleated chocolate brown skirt and I think I need it, too — styled exactly how she’s wearing it, with a chunky turtleneck sweater in the same color. So chic! I couldn’t find a good look-for-less option in the exact shade of brown, but you could recreate in a different color by wearing tone-on-tone burgundy or camel with this skirt, or olive with this skirt. For the chunky sweater part, you might consider this Gap or this J. Crew.

+I love The Great’s funky patterned fleeces for a little of the unexpected/whimsical. Toss on with your navy leggings and Uggs for a “low key cool girl” vibe. Get the look for less with this J. Crew fleece.

+Veronica Beard just discounted a ton of their current season pieces, presumably to make way for holiday. Tempted by this plaid blazer and these drop-hem kick flares.

+This would be a fun dress for a city affair — tea at the Ritz, dinner at Polo Bar, etc.

+Pretty sure everyone’s heard of the brand Megababe before, but people go crazy over their clean, rose-scented deodorant. They also have really clever products like this shave bar (just ordered to try; also ordered L’Occitaine’s almond shower oil, which so many of you have rec’d as an alternative to shaving cream over the years), in-grown/razor burn apres-shave balm, and “bust dust.” The products are all so thoughtful and niche, and I love the packaging, of course.

+This burgundy button-down is en route to me now.

+Cute alternate to a goody bag for a girl’s birthday party.

+Eyeing one of these corset tops in fire engine red for the holidays. Imagine with velvet trousers or skirt?!

+Think I’m going to order one of these matchbook ornaments for Aspen to commemorate our trip this year — but they have lots of cities available!

+Swooning over this cardigan/jacket situation from J. McLaughlin.

+The chicest packable wool hat — omg. I wish I’d had this for Napa last fall. Perfect!

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I’ve had a lot of requests for details on our recent trip to Italy. We spent four nights in Tuscany and three nights on Lake Como, and I’m going to break the visit into separate posts for each region. Como post coming soon!

(I shared all the outfits I wore here!)

Why/How We Planned Our Itinerary.

To set the table, I wanted to mention two things —

1) I would not necessarily recommend doing Tuscany and Como in one trip. These two exquisite regions are separated by about a five hour drive (shorter train ride, will explain more on why we drove later), which is a substantial amount of travel for a trip of just over a week. However. Landon and I travel abroad so infrequently, and these are two areas I’ve been dying to visit, and I simply wanted, needed, to make it work. If you travel more regularly or are perhaps less laser-focused on these two itinerary stops, I think it would probably make more sense to do Rome or Florence and then Tuscany, or Milan and then Como, if you have about a week. (Rome and Tuscany are about two hours from one another, depending on where you are in Tuscany, of course; Florence is a part of Tuscany; Milan and Como are about an hour from one another.) These shorter travel times would enable you to maximize your visit and waste less time in transit. I also think changing hotels / packing and unpacking takes a bigger toll than you think on your mood and vacation vibe — take that for what you will. Plus, so much to see and do in both Rome and Milan!).

2) There are many ways to travel, and many styles of traveler. Landon and I have specific priorities when traveling, and they may not map to yours — first, we like our vacations to feel restful, relaxing, restorative; second, we like to explore new regions and specifically go deep into local cuisines; and third, we like to take in culture/landmarks in smaller sips. Which is to say, we prioritize luxurious accommodations and typically schedule only one major activity each day. I have friends who go in the exact opposite direction. For them, travel is about discovery, and new experiences, and they navigate full-bodied daily itineraries, and spend less on hotel accommodations with the explicit goal of spending as little time as possible in bed / in their rooms. And this, too, is totally right. Sharing that up front because our priorities dictated a lot of our decision-making in selecting hotels, selecting activities, and how we traveled.

On Using a Travel Agent.

On this trip, we worked with a travel agent — Allison Spiegel from Elli Travel. We had never worked with an agent before, and I had no idea how the arrangement worked, so sharing here in case you’re in a similar boat. Elli has many competent agents, but Allison specializes in Italy, so we went with her. We had to pay an up front “travel design” fee, but then afterward, Allison was compensated by the hotels/partners she booked for us, and we paid no additional costs. We found working with her incredibly valuable for three reasons: a) she helped us think through logistics in a significant way, and specifically advised us on how to make the trip as seamless and stress-free as possible; b) she advised us well on which hotels to consider without us having to spend days trolling Reddit for suggestions, which was a top priority when we planned this trip — we were very short on time when mapping out this trip and it was wonderful to outsource that information-gathering and comparison to someone with expertise; and c) she was able to book us custom excursions/trips that would have been difficult to source otherwise.

Our Stay at Lupaia in Tuscany.

We arrived in Rome early Friday morning and Allison had arranged a “private transfer” (private car and driver) to pick us up from the arrivals area and drive us directly to our hotel in Tuscany, Lupaia (a two hour drive). This was expensive but I’m so glad we splurged because the last thing Landon would have wanted to do after an overnight flight was drive two hours on foreign roads — and some of the roads we used to access the resort were single-lane, dirt roads through fields. Allison had presented us with a few hotel options in Tuscany and we completely lucked out with getting into Lupaia — apparently you usually have to book a year out, as this tiny jewel box of a hotel has only twelve suites. Parts of the hotel date back to 1622 (!), but everything has been modernized, and every detail is absolutely perfect. You can tell that someone agonized over each light fixture, drawer pull, and potted plant. Absolutely every corner looks like a post card.

The view from our bedroom — pinch me.

Our room looked out over the iconic patchwork fields of Tuscany, straight towards Montepulciano, which glows like gold at sunset. It was the most picturesque, relaxing vista to take in, and it was hard to talk about anything else but how spectacular the views were. I loved this hotel because it was quiet and intimate and cozy — had the vague feel of being in someone’s beautifully appointed home — but boasted every luxury amenity you could want, including a WhatsApp number you could text if you wanted a cocktail anywhere on the property, cleaning service that seemed to know exactly when you had left your room and would be in and out before you’d return, modern (rain shower head) showers (not a given in Italy), high speed Internet, etc. The staff was both warm/friendly and discreet, offering lots of privacy but also available whenever needed. If you go, I can’t wait for you to meet Silvio, the charming bartender and wine afficianado. I could have listened to him talk (passionately!) about the local wines forever. I could go on and on — but this hotel will always have a place in my heart. To give you a sense for ambiance, I would say most of the patrons were couples, a strong subset were honeymooners, and there were a couple of families with grown children. This felt like a romantic destination to me. Though it has a pool and plenty of open space to explore, I don’t think it would be optimal for very young children, as the walks are all gravel — would be impossible to push a stroller / difficult for tiddkers to walk.

If you do stay there, know that the roads to get there are challenging to navigate with a large car — twists, turns, and one lane. If a car is coming towards you from the other direction, sometimes one or the other has to back up until you can find a place to pull over. We had rented a Mercedes GLE300 and let’s just say I did a lot of the “making gasping noises and grabbing the handle of my door while he is driving” on this trip. (Marriage is…)

Visiting Montepulciano and Pienza: Charm, Copper + Pecorino.

The day we arrived, we relaxed at the hotel and enjoyed dinner there, too. They offer a prix fixe, multi-course meal each day, and will bring out the menu in the morning for you to review. The food was lovely, and the dining room adjoins the kitchen; fun to watch the cooks at work. I would guess that most hotel visitors eat there most nights because Lupaia is somewhat remote and it’s not…fun to drive those roads at night. We did overhear that some hotel patrons had the concierge call cabs for them, so I do think that’s possible, but in my opinion, you really need a car in Tuscany.

Allison had arranged to have our rental car delivered to us at Lupaia the day after we arrived (to the tune of a meaningful surcharge). When it arrived, we took off for Montepulciano, which is about 20-30 minutes from Lupaia. We used the Rick Steves guide book for this visit, as he has a suggested path for exploring old Montepulciano by foot. It was helpful in orienting us and providing us a few points of interest and brief histories. The guide even features suggested parking lots to use, of which we availed ourselves. We walked the entire route Steves laid out, stopping to shop at the copper boutique I mentioned yesterday, and wandering through the wine caves of Palazzo Contucci, before we stopped for lunch. We had a few possible dining spots flagged through Landon’s research — Le Logge del Vignola and Ristorante ai 4 Vente — and went with the latter, which ended up being one of our favorite meals of the trip. It was foggy and chilly outside, and we tucked into hearty bowls of hand-rolled pasta with meat ragout sauces, and the most delicious glasses of Brunello wine I’ve ever tasted. Someone in Como described the food in Tuscany as having “honest prices,” and it was true — the portions were enormous (! – don’t fill up on the bread) and the prices unbelievable. I want to say our pastas were maybe 12 euros and we could have easily split one. The glasses of Brunello would have easily retailed for $50/glass in the US and were 14 euros apiece — which seemed expensive in the context of the menu, as most other glasses of wine were around 7 euros. We ate well, and were happy.

We wandered a bit more and then stopped for cappuccinos at Lalma Cafe and Tearoom (photo below), which was off the beaten path from the main Montepulciano drag and seemed populated primarily by Italians. While we were there, the owners were enjoying a traditional Tuscan stew of beef tongue and other “off cuts” of meat that their kitchen had prepared for them. I was so charmed by their casual midday braise at one of the tables! (Clearly, the stew was not on menu for customers — it was just for the owners.) The coffee shop was modern and bright with high-speed Internet — not exactly on theme with the rest of ancient Montepulciano, but a nice pit-stop for resting and reading for an hour or so.

I wrote about this in more detail here, but you really feel the wild expanse of history in Montepulciano. It was spectacular. I will note that the main drag is fairly clogged with tourists. You’ll want to see it all, too, but a lot of the best vistas are off the beaten path! Take some chances and wander.

After Montepulciano, we visited Pienza, which felt like a quieter, slightly less touristic version of Montepulciano (although guided tours and clusters of tourists abound here, too). We had planned to stop into one of the many meat and cheese shops on the main strip, but we were so stuffed from lunch, we skipped it. I might propose you do Montepulciano and Pienza on different days for this reason. That way one of your lunches can be a meat and cheese platter in Pienza — they are specifically known for their pecorino, which is unlike anything we have in the US. The Pienza pecorinos are soft, young, and slightly creamy, while we tolerate the aged, crumbly stuff here. We were able to taste Pienza cheese later at our hotel, which sources from all the local farms and purveyors, and it was delicious. We went back to the hotel then, relaxed, and had dinner again in the main house.

A Day in Florence: Sorry, Guys, I’m in Love with Her.

On the third day, we drove to Florence. Allison had advised us against this, suggesting a private car and driver, but since we had the rental, and Florence is only about an hour from Lupaia, we went our own way. Her suggestion was understandable, though: you cannot drive into the center Florence. (As Rick Steves puts it in his book: Don’t even try.) There is a complex set of rules that even Florentines find confusing that involves “DTZ” zones; if you drive into one of these zones, your car is photographed, and you automatically get a pricey ticket. If you accidentally drive into and out of these zones, you rack up multiple. The point is, we narrowly avoided entering one by following Siri’s driving instructions — yikes! We ended up parking in a public lot on the outskirts of city center and then walking about twenty minutes to get to the Uffizzi Art Museum.

We had heard the Uffizzi was a must. It has the greatest collection of Italian art in the world. If you plan to visit, you absolutely must book tickets in advance, and they are timed, and rather strict about the timing, FYI. Otherwise, there is a line a few hours long to get into the museum that looks like hell. I will be honest: Uffizzi was the low point of our Italian adventure. It was unbelievably crowded (think The Louvre), and we spent thirty minutes waiting in line to see the Tribuna, an octagonal room now closed off to visitors that you can only see through a few doors. It holds an impressive set of artworks and sculptures, but the experience of viewership detracts from its magic. You wait in line, then you have basically thirty seconds to frantically take in as much as you can while people are breathing down your neck for their turn. Not my preferred method for viewing art. Honestly, I barely remember what was in that room — and we’d waited a long time to see it. Of course the museum also boasts masterpieces by Da Vinci, Michelangelo, etc, but the crowds…! Still, I’d advise you go; just be alert to its thronginess. We stood for five minutes staring at Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus,” which made the entire visit worthwhile in my opinion. That one painting is spectacular in scope, style, and story.

After the Uffizzi, our day zig-zagged across the Arno several times, which we didn’t mind — we both love exploring by foot — but was probably a sub-optimal way to get around the city if you’re not wanting to walk as much. (I think Landon’s watch said we clocked six miles this day.) You might do better by tagging some of the places on a map and then charting a more logical course! I will say crossing the Ponte Vecchio multiple times was harrowing — it, as well as neighboring piazzas, are as busy and chaotic as Times Square, and we really hated the crowds. (We’re such curmudgeons!) As the day went on, we wised up to this and tried to avoid the most clogged areas.

After Uffizzi, we went to lunch at a spot Landon had scouted — he had flagged a number of recommendations from following Missy Robbins and Tony Montuano — called Trattoria 13 Gobbi. It was blessedly off the beaten path, and we had a lovely meal of pasta there. We wished we’d ordered the Florentine steak, as it seemed to be what most other patrons were ordering, and is one of the region’s iconic dishes, but followed our stomachs instead. We then walked back to the Uffizzi area for timed entry to the Boboli Gardens. There were multiple beautiful vistas to take in (see below), and we had a spectacular day for it, but neither of us felt that it was a highlight of the trip. Take that for what you will…

We then walked over to Caffe Gilli in the Piazza della Repubblica, which has been around since 1733! It’s somewhat touristic but the aperitivi/coffees are delicious, and it’s a great perch for watching the world walk by. I saw so many chic Florentines as I sipped a cappuccino, and then an aperol spritz, here. It was also lovely to rest our legs for awhile. We were only a few feet away from the iconic Santa Maria Novella apothecary, so after my cocktail, we walked over and picked out some gifts to bring back. I treated myself to one of their classic “scented clays,” in the shape of a pomegranate, which slowly releases its perfume in the air. It now sits in my closet, perfuming all my clothes and reminding me of that magical trip. I think I’ll be giving these as housewarming gifts from now on. A few Magpies have written to say they do the same — and also keep them in all their linen closets!

We window shopped through the high-end shopping area (Bottega! Gucci! Etc!), and then I noticed we were walking right by Palazzo Strozzi, a museum I had read about earlier this year, as it was showing the largest collection of Helen Frankenthaler paintings ever assembled. I had flagged it as a possibility for visiting while in Florence but after our harried tour of the Uffizzi, wasn’t sure I was up for more art. Seeing as we were walking right by, and there was no line, we decided to wander in. I’m so glad we did. The exhibit was almost empty — at times, we were alone in the rooms! — and I am an enormous fan of hers. We were in and out in about 30 minutes, and both of us were speaking in exclamation points. A little surprise windfall that felt special and intimate.

From there, we walked to Il Santino (recommended by both Missy and Tony), a narrow wine bar patronized almost exclusively by Italians, which meant it was both intimidating and implicitly good. We had the most delicious spread of meats and cheeses, and the kitchen brought out some complimentary snacks as well — crostinis with truffles and honey and cheese. The wine was exceptional. But the real treat of the evening — and I shared this story on Instagram and have never received more comments! — was when our soigne and slightly edgy server was discussing the wine menu with us, and a handsome man appeared in the doorframe and started to speak to her in passionate, urgent Italian. Our server seemed cool, almost eye-rolling, in response to his entreaties, turning back to take our order with an air of impassivity. I wasn’t sure what was happening — was he a colleague? — and then the man turned to us and said, animatedly: “I’m sorry, guys, I’m just in love with her!” (!!!) The waitress smirked and took our order. (!!!!) It was one of the most romantic things I’ve ever witnessed. I need to know more about this story. (They were beautiful to watch, too! The waitress had a Daisy Edgar Jones look, and was wearing a black dress with moto-ish boots, and her boyfriend (?) had a Fabien Frankel thing happening.) Romance is alive and well.

Truffle Hunting in Tuscany: Daje! Daje! Daje!

On our last full day of Tuscany, Allison had arranged a private truffle hunting tour for us. If you are not working with an agent, I would recommend asking your concierge for a lead, as the area if known for its truffles. If that does not pan out, Podere Il Casale (a working farm, venue, and restaurant) might be able to point you in the correct direction. Our truffle hunter seemed to have an arrangement with them; the kitchen prepared the truffles she had found for us.

The hunt was fascinating and exciting — we went with the hunter and her 2.5 year old Lagotto Romagnolo, which are the most popular dog breed for truffle hunting. In Italy, it is illegal to hunt for truffles with pigs, as they destroy everything in their wake, including tree roots and any remaining part of the truffle itself; it’s a conservation thing. We understood why after the visit. Enormous tranches of earth had been displaced by wild pigs; they left a mess anywhere they’d been. Our dog (named “Puppy”) found three black truffles and one rare white truffle in about an hour. The truffle hunter indicated this was a lukewarm performance, but the white truffle was a true victory. You can find black truffles most months of the year in Tuscany, but white truffle season is usually late October-November. You can truly smell the difference between the two: the white is definitely more complex, and powerful. Truffle hunters are highly competitive, so when we went out, our hunter was trying to train the dog not to bark (and therefore give up our location). The three major commands we heard: “Vieni qua” (come here), “Daje! Daje! Daje!” (let’s go, let’s go, let’s go — meant as an encouragement), and “bravo” (good job!”). Lan and I now say “Daje daje daje” to one another all the time.

If you go, this activity does require appropriate attire. I’m so glad I brought waterproof, heavy-soled boots — it was the only time I really needed them, and you honestly couldn’t get by with sneakers (or at least, not happily). For much of the hunt, you’re traipsing through mud, brush, thick grass, thickets, etc.

After, we returned to Podere Il Casale and, as mentioned, the kitchen prepared the truffles our dog had found in a few different ways — over eggs, on toast with cheese, and over pasta. Delicious, and the views were spectacular.

Farewells + Final Notes.

The final evening, we ate a small supper (not the prix fixe menu) at the hotel and went to bed on the early side. The hotel offers complimentary breakfast each morning and we fueled up before our five hour drive to Como. I loved the breakfasts at Lupaia. They have a fairly extensive menu and you are able to order absolutely anything you want off of it — a stack of pancakes alongside a plate of meat and cheese, or two eggs served however you please with a bowl of oatmeal, a fresh juice with pastries, etc, etc. I am thinking warmly of the cappuccinos and scrambled eggs I enjoyed in the crisp morning air; you could eat indoor or out and it was such a gracious way to start the day.

After checking out, we climbed into our car for a somewhat long trek to Como. You could drive to Florence and then take the train if you want to avoid the road trip, but we decided it would feel the most fluid (least schleppy) to just throw our bags in the car and drive to our Como hotel ourselves. Allison was able to arrange to have the car rental service pick our car up from the Como hotel for us. These rental car drop offs / pick ups meant everything felt seamless and we could just arrive at the hotel and enjoy ourselves versus going out to an airport to drop off the car, arranging a taxi to the hotel, etc. I think this amenity was worth the expense. We had also originally planned to stop in Bologna or Modena for lunch to break up the trip, but there had been terrible flooding in the Emilia-Romagna region while we were there, and we were advised not to stop, as some parts of these cities were still under water. This was devastating to hear for these cities and their citizens, and a bummer for us as visitors; we had tentatively planned to visit the Ferrari museum and have lunch in Modena, which would have made the drive feel more “useful” in some way. But, que sera sera. Instead, we listened to the entirety of the Good Kid, m.A.A.d City album (Kendrick Lamar) as the Italian countryside flew by us.

I felt like we maximized our time in Tuscany and were able to cultivate a good sense for the region. If I’d had more time there, I might have taken a day trip to Parma, Modena, and/or Bologna, which aren’t too far away, but have fantastic culinary and cultural attractions. I could have also spent a couple of extra days in Florence — I loved that city, and there were so many other museums and shopping destinations I would have loved to visit. (I would also have enjoyed going back to the wine bar to get an update on the “sorry guys, but I’m in love with her” situation.)

I slightly regret not taking a dip in the spectacular Lupaia pool or hot tub — I don’t know why we didn’t wander down there one afternoon/evening — but suffice to say there was more to avail ourselves of at the hotel that we never got around to. (They also have a collection of board games in the library, and offer wine tastings most evenings.) The weather in Tuscany in October was lovely temperature-wise — 60s-70s — and even though we had a few afternoons/mornings of rain, we managed to see everything we wanted to see and do everything we wanted to do without much trouble owing to drizzle. It was in fact kind of romantic to take in Montepulciano on a gray, grizzly day. That said, I definitely recommend packing flat walking shoes, a rain jacket, and an umbrella if you are going this time of year. And one final note on the time of year: October seemed perfect for visiting Italy. It was much less crowded, and hot, than in peak season. Plus, if you have young children like we do, it felt ideal to have our kids well-adjusted to the school year and its rhythms (I think would have been more challenging to leave them in September), and to have them engaged most of the day (for childcare reasons). I think that when we are able to travel again, just the two of us, we would opt for October for these reasons.

Let me know if you have any questions. I tried to be as thorough as I could be!

A few post-scripts…

+Freda Salvador is offering 20% off all loafers with code LOAFERLOVE. This is the one pair of shoes I didn’t bring that I wish I had — it seemed that every well-appointed Italian woman was either wearing dressy sneakers (Loewe, etc), a black flat slightly heavy-soled boot, or loafers just like these. The shoes I did pack: VB Valentinas (wore these the most), Dolce Vita mesh ballets (super comfortable – I walked the entire Florence day in these), Chanel ballet flats (chic but not great for long walks – conserved these for evenings mainly), a pair of velvet pointed toe pumps that I wore to one nice dinner — probably would omit these next time, and my Isabel Marant Duertos (wore these a lot more than anticipated — they work with dressier outfits for evening just as well as jeans for day). I also tossed in the lug-sole boots (old Madewells, similar here) I wore for the truffle hunt and really did need them that day, but did not wear otherwise, which was kind of annoying — they took up a of space in my suitcase! I’d thought I’d need them more often because a lot of rain was forecasted, but I managed with my other shoes just fine — though I did wish I’d brought the loafers as an alternative to my Valentinas for certain outfits!

+I wore this cashmere sweatsuit for the travel day but I also think this Frank & Eileen set would be wonderful — I just wore it yesterday while back home and it’s chic, pulled together, and so comfortable. It’s $$$ for a sweatsuit, but I will say it’s my go-to set if I’m running out the door for drop off, or in need of a lounge outfit. And you could wear the sweatshirt separately, just with jeans or cords. You can get $50 off with the code APPLE, OR a Magpie reader wrote to say that this Amazon set is a really, really good look for less, and it’s under $50.

+Speaking of good Amazon buys, I routinely get questions from Magpies about this hair claw! Looks like Celine, costs $5. I bought all the colors and have given several away as little gifts to friends.

+My beloved luggage. So gorgeous and smartly designed. This is also the best travel duffel — has a compartment for laptop, has a sleeve that slips over a roll-a-board handle, and fits a lot.

+Chappywrap has offered us 15% off with code JEN15. Their blankets make a great holiday gift, and also their new shawls would be SO DREAMY for travel. This was another regret of mine – I forgot to pack a wrap! I would definitely have used this on the flight and also for a few of the evenings out and chilly mornings where I could have used a little extra warmth at the neck/around the shoulders. I love the ones from Alice Walk for a slightly dressier feel, and these White + Warren cashmere ones are classic (select colors temporarily on sale!)

+This reminds me that Shopbop’s sale ends today! So many great buys temporarily discounted — my top picks here.

+I would recommend this rain jacket (so chic/sleek) and Davek’s mini umbrella for travel (small but mighty).

+The day we left for Italy, I had Glamsquad come by my house to blow out my hair — it was THE best decision! I felt great rolling onto that flight and pulled together coming off of it / not in need of an instant shower to re-do my hair. They’ve given us $20 off for new users with code JenniferS and $15 off for repeat users with code JenniferS15. I’m obsessed with the luxury of having my hair blown out at home! Will be doing this before I travel moving forward!

+These are my favorite organizational pouches. I initially bought for babies/kids stuff, but they’re roomy, carry a ton, and great for organizing softer things like socks, underwear, etc.

+I’ve written about these a ton, but these eye patches saved me the day after travel. They erase tired eyes! They come in individually packaged sets so you can toss one or two in your travel vanity bag. The brand just emailed me to offer us 15% off with code JENSHOOP.

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OK, so yesterday on Instagram, I shared this roundup of holiday movies streaming across various platforms and the response from Magpies was strong. One wrote: “the Christmas list we all needed” and another wrote: “I can’t tell you how many people I just sent this to.” So I guess now is an appropriate time to admit I’ve been listening to that peaceful holiday playlist I mentioned over the weekend…a lot. It may or may not have been my comfort playlist while on the plane to/from Italy. (One of you wrote in a travel tip some time ago that you always have a few comfort playlists downloaded to your iPhone to listen to while boarding, waiting, trying to sleep, etc, and it was a great tip. Instantly calming.)

Anyhow, I feel comfortable sharing a couple of the holiday outfit finds I’ve been secretly pinning for weeks now, not only because you seem so receptive to the holiday film list above but because many of the styles from Hill House’s tartan drop are nearly sold out now…?! I snagged this and this but there are very limited sizes left. I shared one outfit idea in this morning’s post (shop it visually here), but a few other great finds to contemplate:

VELVET GOWN // RED DRESS // EARRINGS // SEQUIN SKIRT // BLACK TURTLENECK // VELVET PRADA PLATFORMS // STATEMENT BOW TOP // TIE BACK TOP

01. A fabulous, dramatic red satin blouse/jacket situation ($60!). Pair with velvet trousers (I ordered these!), black jeans, tartan…! (While you’re at H&M, though, treat yourself to these cute red velvet heels!)

02. A soigne velvet gown. I love its sparse simplicity and elegance — pair with big sparkly earrings and statement shoes.

03. This fabulous velvet bejeweled top (10% off with MAGPIE10). Zara also has some incredible bejeweled separates/pieces in a similar vein for much less — consider these dramatic pants with a simple black cashmere turtleneck.

04. For a show-stopping black tie / formal event, this red dress from Kika Vargas. Liz Damrich’s collab with Dillard’s has a similar vibe for less. And, very narrow, but if I were mother of the bride for a holiday season wedding, I’d wear this.

05. Meanwhile, this $125 LRD (little red dress) is giving Carolyn Bessette vibes.

06. Tinsel town. You’re lady Golden Globes herself. I have this sequin La Ligne skirt (this one; similar here) I wore last holiday season that I just took out after stowing away for the warmer months, and I was reminded of the evening I wore it to a Christmas cocktail party and a stranger approached me and said: “OK, you must be in the fashion industry.” I was so touched / flattered! All because of an artful sequin!

07. Never have I wanted a pair of Maysales more. Dark. green. velvet. honey. (To be said in the rhythm of the shop manager in “Elf”: “Six. inch. ribbon curls. honey.”)

08. Back to sequins: this J. Crew x Christopher John Rogers…I’m swooning! NAVY and the shape! Everything!

09. A perfect top to pair with statement trousers, whether striped or tartan (these, these, these) or solid. If you want a top that shows a little more skin, try this.

10. I really love a great statement top or two for the season — admiring this one, this one, and this one.

11. Would really love to style any of these looks with these velvet Prada platforms. Look for less with these, which I heard are also very comfortable.

12. If you’re not into the traditional color palette (blacks, reds, greens) for holiday, you must consider this kiwi/chartreuse color I’ve been raving about. This Aligne dress is giving serious Emilia Wickstead vibes. Or go with E.W. herself. Or this jersey maxi!

13. Silky pant season!

14. Cute Zara steal.

15. Last but not least, this fun and unexpected striped skirt!

P.S. Love is…a salad?

P.P.S. Advice for first-time grandparents. (What else would you add?)

P.P.P.S. Not everything resolves to a fine point.

In the ancient towns of Tuscany, I felt the wild expanse of history, its undulations and uprootings, and equally, my insignificance. We visited a coppersmith, and I thought mainly of the way this man hammering was an extension of the gestures of generations past. You could hear his labors clanging down the cobblestones, off the walls, against the annals of time. How many other Italians had stooped in these same stony transoms, forging with hands and implements the necessities of life? Before there were planes to draw us from continent to continent, before Columbus, back when the world was flat and Catholic, and its coasts dropped off into darkness. I could hear this man’s ministry echoing against the Medieval, and beyond — past the Medicis, past the century Montepulciano itself was born. Copper: the first metal bent by human hand. A dizzying thought, and a reassuring one. I felt the same way I do when standing in the filtered light of trees: how small I am, after all, and also how connected. Like the trees I know in America, these walls of Montepulciano have stood in sun and clear pebbles of rain and heavy drifts of snow, and cardinals and chickadees have nested in and then abandoned their arms, and stray animals — humans, too — have scratched marks into their sides, and the walls and the trees have waited and withstood. I thought of my facelessness. How many other visitors have stood in my place, staring at the immense pageantry of time?

But it was not all self-abnegation. We stood admiringly before Il Pozzo dei Grifi e dei Leoni at the very top of the old town, a water-well flanked by elaborate stone carvings, and I thought too of how we are all additive, or can be. How drawing from the fount of Montepulciano might laminate my roughnesses. And also how these walls have heard not just the clanking of implements and the footfall of foreigners, but the hubbub of holidays, and the chasing of children. Even in the dark times, there was laughter, and I am sure of it. How else to explain the charm, the beauty of these places? The architecture of Italy is itself a smile. Each archway drawing the eye out to the soothing cypress and spectacular patchwork of Tuscan fields. Each spire directing me to the sun, to the peculiar light of Tuscany, to the way it lacquers the world gold.

Post-Scripts.

*If you visit Montepulciano, the coppersmith is Bottega dal Rame (his boutique seen above). We brought home some treasures from the shop.

+Join me at the trees.

+When was the last time you felt truly happy?

+Life lessons, gathered.

+It is OK to wander.

Shopping Break.

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+This Tuckernuck cashmere cardi in the perfect marigold hue was just restocked — sold through practically immediately last time!

+My MIL and I both bought these scalloped Christmas card holders this week. They sold out last year and are such a cute way to display cards! I also love this candelabra — imaging winding holiday greenery among the base? So chic. I think I’m going to buy it, too, for my holiday tablescapes.

+I need some new winter/snow boots — I still have an ancient pair from my Chicago days that are so heavy-duty they actually give me lower legs a workout. I am considering something like this (is pink too much?) or this.

+This fair isle lady jacket is so fetching!

+I can’t stop thinking about this gorgeous opera style coat as a top layer for holiday festivities…! Imagine layered over velvet. OMG.

+Speaking of velvet, I did just order these black velvet trousers (on sale!). Come in petite lengths (thank God). They are selling fast! I loved all three color options but felt black velvet would be the most versatile. Imagine with a little blouse like this for a festive happy hour!

+While we’re at Boden, this plaid dress is SO darling for holidays, but already nearly sold out (snag it while you can), and I love these wool tartan trousers. I have a similar pair from probably six or seven years ago that I pull out each season! Pair with a simple black velvet heel and white blouse or black cashmere tee and you’re set.

+I’m loving all the recent holiday launches everywhere — drawing me right into the festive mood. How fabulous are these glitzy Emme Parsons flats and these wine velvet wedges from Larroude?

+I finally gave into the hype and ordered the viral Rhode peptide lip tint and pocket blush. I got this set in the sleepy girl and raspberry jelly combo. Stay tuned!

+After a few of you mentioned cleaning your jewelry as an RWI, I think I might order this jewelry cleaner.

+Into emerald stones at the moment — love these new drops from Dorsey, and these $100-ish studs from Aurate.

+Liz Damrich launched a collab with Dillard’s and I think these feather trim wool pants are SO fun.

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For a few days only, Shopbop has discounted a range of current-season items up to 40% off! My top picks below:

01. My favorite Varley set — this sweatshirt and these slim pants (seen above)! So chic together, or just snag the sweatshirt, which has such a great length (covers the rear; perfect for leggings). A great way to feel more pulled together on the sports sidelines!

02. My La Ligne Colby pants! Such a great statement heading into holiday season! Run big, FYI.

03. A droolworthy black suede crossbody. Love the hardware detail.

04. A Jenni Kayne sweater to live in. I want to throw this on and read in one of the cozy corners you described in response to this prompt.

05. A chic top in my current favorite color to pair with statement trousers

06. A great pair of tall black boots.

07. My favorite cropped blazer.

Happy shopping!

P.S. All my Shopbop hearts here.

P.P.S. Some of our favorite children’s books here.

P.P.P.S. What is the first job each morning?

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

01. The Magpies never lie — this Yves Durif brush is incredible (more of your RWIs here, plus the comments have lots of great additions). I specifically like it for detangling after a shower, for just-after-I-wake-up and want to brush out all the snags, and for mild styling after I use my Dyson AirWrap. I also own a Mason Pearson, which is great for different reasons — it’s good for redistributing oil and, for me at least, creating a bit more volume and body when hair is limp. The Mason Pearson is NOT great when you have already styled your hair with the AirWrap — I find it pulls the curl/bend right out and adds frizz/volume where I don’t want it. Yves Durif is the answer!

02. Santa Maria Novella scented clay pomegranate. While in Florence, we visited the iconic Santa Maria Novella shop and I treated myself to one of their clay pomegranates. These beautiful objets slowly release their classic scent — a sort of twist on a diffuser. I put it in my closet and every time I walk in, I’m delighted. The clay has this soapy-clean-rich scent that I can’t get enough of. Sorry, but I think this is going to be my new go-to housewarming gift / possibly what I get my MIL and mother for Christmas. Such an elegant and interesting surprise, and with a fun backstory given our recent visit to Italy.

03. Goop’s collab with New Balance. I need another sweatshirt like I need a hole in my head but how cute is this pink sweatsuit (top, bottom — or pair with the sweat shorts) and matching beanie?!

04. My favorite loafers, restocked but selling fast. These are so comfortable and the perfect balance of chunky and not chunky. I saw so many women wearing loafers in Italy and specifically pairing them with houndstooth / plaid / tweed blazers and am inspired to model myself on them — would specifically love to add this one to my closet. You can use code MAGPIE15 for 15% off.

05. The color kiwi/chartreuse, which I wrote about earlier this season. I’ve added several pops of it to my wardrobe (this Aligne cardigan was a delight with my Italy wardrobe – looks so interesting and luxe with brown) and a few other recent finds in this colorway: this asymmetrical Banana dress, this blazer (under $130), and this beanie, which I actually ordered myself.

06. Lizzie Fortunato jewelry. I wore this statement necklace several times in Italy; the colors are just spectacular with all the browns I’ve been wearing. Also obsessed with these oversized earrings to zhush up a cocktail dress.

07. The Julia Amory Betty dress in silk dupioni. Wow. What a huge statement! You can use code JEN-15 for 15% off. Such a great, festive dress!

08. This dramatic alpine coat from La Ligne!!!!

09. My cashmere sweatsuit (top, bottoms) from Tuckernuck. Wore on the plane to/from Italy and was in love — two women stopped me in the airport to ask about it! It was so cozy and warm. I layered over this Donni tee, which was ideal — it’s ultra-soft and thin. I generally prefer my tees from SoldOut or Uniqlo when pairing with jeans, etc, because they’re a bit more polished, but these are fantastic for lounge and layering. (Heads up that I did have to have the sweatpants hemmed — they run long. Good for taller Magpies!)

10. My classic Barbour Bedale! This was the heaviest coat I packed for Italy and I was glad to have it on a few of the chillier and rainier days. I wore it onto the plane, too, as an extra layer (and because it was the bulkiest thing I packed). I actually received the most questions from Magpies on Instagram about this coat; you can’t beat a classic. I got mine from Tuckernuck and sized up to a 32 because I wanted a very oversized, boxy, borrowed-from-the-boys look. The 30 would probably still be a tad oversized, but I really like the hang/look of the bigger one.

11. My Ex Nihilo Lust in Paradise perfume. I genuinely missed it while traveling and could not wait to get home to have my everyday scent back in hand. I will not travel without it again!

12. These Italian jam jars at the breakfast spread we enjoyed each morning we stayed in Passalacqua in Lake Como!!!! I wish I’d asked the hotel where they were from. Does anyone know where to find these? I want to keep my jam in them! The closest I could find were these from Skye McAlpine!

13. These inexpensive quarter crew socks — plush and comfortable, plus the perfect gen-z-friendly height. I brought with me in Italy. Also seen below while in flight: these noise-canceling headphones, an ULTIMATE must-have for travel. I could not have flown without them! I love the way they reduce the heavy airplane noises, plus any conversation / footfall around you! Really help with sleeping. They also hold a charge for a long, long time.

14. I’ll try to stop yapping about these now, but these VB Valentinas are my most-worn sneaker…ever? I love love love them. Cozy (shearling-lined), chic, in the best espresso brown color, and they add a tiny bit of height.

What are your current obsessions?

P.S. What’s something you’re secretly good at?

P.P.S. My Grub Street style food diary.

P.P.P.S. Favorite fall top layers.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via Westman Atelier.

Credo is offering 20% off sitewide with code FRIENDS24. Now is the time I stock up on all my favorites since I no longer have VIB Rouge Status at Sephora! Below are my ride-or-die, instant-restock purchases — the items I would pay full price for to replenish once I deplete, and am therefore thrilled to buy at a discount using this promotion…

FOUNDATION STICK // KOSAS BROW GEL // OSEA BODY OIL // ROZ SHAMPOO // ROZ CONDITIONER // GOOP EXFOLIATOR // IRIS SKIN MOISTURIZER

01. Westman Atelier Foundation Stick. Simply the absolute best. I wear color 0. The secret is to hydrate skin thoroughly beforehand (I love InnBeauty Extreme Clean and when my skin is really parched, Goop All-in-One Nourishing Face Cream, the latter of which is on sale at Credo, too) and to use this Merit brush to blend.

02. Tower28 MakeWaves mascara. My favorite everyday mascara. Lengthening, separating, lifting, does not clump. The best $20 mascara on the market, and why not get it for 20% off?!

03. Kosas AirBrow Gel. I love and adore this all-in-one product when I don’t have time to use a pencil to fill (I also use it as the last step after I’ve used the pencil when I do have the time). It fills, shades, and keeps brows in position.

04. Ilia Liquid Powder Tint in Cork. Trust me, this color is incredible if you have similar coloring to mine; the matte makes it everyday-appropriate, and it doesn’t read as “brown” so much as perfectly neutral. You can use a finger to swipe on over lid and instantly look evened out and polished. I am obsessed with it.

05. Osea Undaria Algae Body Oil. This is a non-greasy, nourishing oil that I absolutely LOVE to layer beneath lotion in the winter or wear on its own during the summer. Looks so pretty on bare skin, too — great on shoulders and legs for a little sheen. But not oily/greasy!!!

06. Roz Foundations Shampoo and Conditioner. As good as Oribe but less $$. Fantastic lather, clean scent, but does not weigh my fine hair down in any way.

07. GoopGlow Microderm Exfoliator. A chemical and physical exfoliant in one. I like to use this if I’m short on time and getting ready for an evening out — resets and refreshes skin in two minutes. My skin always feels baby-soft afterward.

08. Necessaire Body Lotion. Deeply hydrating but non-greasy. This brand’s ethos is to use skincare-grade ingredients on the body, and you can really feel/tell the difference. Your legs and shoulders look amazing after application, and never run dry.

09. Iris + Romeo Weekend Skin Moisturizer + SPF + Vitamin C + A Touch of Coverage. My favorite first layer. I often wear this on its own when short on time or like to layer beneath the Westman Foundation.

10. Osea Ocean Cleanser. I will admit that I keep cheating on this cleanser with other brands that are sent my way, but this is the one I keep coming back to. It smells like heaven and feels SO creamy and hydrating in use. I always feel vaguely virtuous when using this? It feels restorative, wellness-oriented.

Last note: this sale is a good occasion to buy luxe beauty gifts for friends/sisters/mothers — if you’ve read for awhile, you know this is sort of my go-to gift category for other women. Who doesn’t love a splurgey beauty product?! This lipstick trio would be such a great surprise, or for more of a white elephant price point, this lip gloss. I think all of the Westman products come so beautifully and fetchingly packaged. I gave my sister in law these pretty soaps over the summer – she lived in Tucson, AZ with my brother for awhile and has always loved the desert culture, plus she has a great eye for design/style, and I knew she’d love the packaging. Finally, I love all things OSEA and think this oil/lotion set would be great for a fellow brand enthusiast, and how cute are these hair clips?!

At checkout, treat yourself to one of these Cocofloss toothbrushes — my favorite!

I am planning to treat myself to two new items: this scented detergent people go crazy about, to use for sheets/towels, and this concealer (I’ve never tried before!)

P.S. A fun cocktail to make this weekend.

P.P.S. The best parts of fall.

P.P.P.S. Reading and permissions.

Good morning! This weekend, just a day or two after we put away the Halloween pumpkins and decor, I will be attending a holiday bazaar held by my high school alma mater. It’s an annual tradition that serves as “the soft launch” for the holidays. I think because the first half of October felt like the wind-up to our trip to Italy and the second half was in Italy, I’m shocked that we’re approaching the doorway to the holiday season? But I was thinking about how once November gets underway, it feels like a slip and slide into Christmas. And I wanted to take a minute to set the table by republishing an essay about the occasional strain and fracas of the holiday season, and how an unsavory event last year helped me recalibrate. Onward! It’s never the cream!

****

This week, I underwent the harrowing annual experience of a Thanksgiving week Whole Foods visit. Even when we plan our Thanksgiving meal prep with militaristic precision, there are still things we forget, or (in this case) weekend logistics that get in the way of the best laid plans.

The lot was gridlocked. I found myself waiting, with my signal on, for a woman to get into her car so I could take her spot. The driver behind me laid on the horn, likely not seeing that I was waiting for this woman to turn on her lights and reverse out of the spot. I sat there for what felt like an eternity (but was in actuality under 30 seconds) waiting for the car to back out while this woman honked and gesticulated with increasing wildness behind me. I pointed to the spot, and tried to yell back: “She’s coming out!” and the woman screamed back: “There are other spots, lady!” I did not see any in my immediate vicinity, and at this point, the car was reversing. I finally pulled in and the driver behind me careened around, yelling obscenities out the window in my general direction. Nervously, I walked into the Whole Foods and immediately saw the angry driver enter the store behind me. I found myself waiting for punishment as I skittishly selected my carrots and brussels sprouts. When I stole a look at the woman, I could tell she was pretending not to see me. It is so much easier to unleash frustration on someone when you are not face to face. For a split second, I contemplated approaching her with some kind of message, but what was there to say? The likelihood a confrontation in the supermarket would yield anything good was next to nil. (I thought, too, of Mr. Magpie’s frequent adage when encountering a situation where it appears that one party has bats in the belfry: “D.N.E.” or “Do not engage.”) Moreover, I was, frankly, relieved that she chose not to engage with me. After, I found myself walking around the shop as though on tenterhooks. When I returned home, I was unloading the groceries and Mr. Magpie held up the $8 bottle of fancy cream I’d bought for the mashed potatoes. “Why’d you get half and half?” he asked. “We need cream.” I burst into tears on the spot.

He knew, of course, it wasn’t the cream. It’s never the cream.

I stood there, wilted. A swarm of thoughts surrounded me, and I took some time to filter through them while putting pen to journal paper. Below, some insights that I am burnishing as I head into the holiday season, when stress levels can run high and interactions with others can run amok.

My first rivulet of thought was: how could I let a total stranger upset me in this way? I do not think I did anything wrong, but — at worst — I introduced a thirty second delay into her life, and her response was disproportionate. I rationally see that I should be able to let her aggression bounce right off me, as it was unmerited and seemingly blindly directed. This reminds me of one of themes I have returned to month after month in my mid-to-late 30s, as I try to unstrap myself from the habit of self-blame: You cannot control the behavior of others. Her flare-up said little about me and a lot about her.

My second, and more generous, thought: the holidays can be stressful, and people act in weird ways during them. I should give her a grace note and move on with my life. Maybe she was about to hit the road for a ten hour drive and I was inching her closer to rush hour. Maybe it’s the first Thanksgiving she’s spending on her own. Trust me, I can invent a thousand sob stories that will sufficiently fill in the blank. It is hard, though, to extend that kind of understanding when you are offered something entirely different. Still, it’s a north star, and something I hope to keep in the front of my mind during this season in particular. This is a time that calls for a gentle headspace.

Third, the fact that I burst into tears over this altogether minor scenario suggests I need to prioritize rest. This feels next to impossible to accomplish this week, with plans chock-a-block, but I came across a quote a few weeks ago that said: “Rest is more than napping on the sofa. Rest is anything that makes our nervous systems feel safe enough for our stress responses to switch off so our minds and bodies can recover and restore.” I am sitting here, drawing up a mental list of what those things might be — an early bedtime, a light-hearted book, taking a break from my desk to drop off a little gift I picked up from Whole Foods for a neighbor.

Which brings me to my final thought: we publish the good news. Yesterday, I took my children to see a staged performance of “A Year with Frog and the Toad” (an adaptation of the series by Arnold Lobel) at Imagination Stage. It was adorable, with clever sets and silly lyrics and actors who gave it their all. The performance tracks frog and toad around a calendar year, cycling through all the seasons, and ends with a darling Christmas cheer song that felt like the perfect way for us to ease into the holidays. My children were transfixed! The only reason I knew about this performance was because one of my neighbors generously offered us four tickets. I do not know this particular neighbor very well and was touched that she’d thought of us. I sat in the theater and thought how special it was to watch my son double over in laughter, and climb onto my lap during “the scary part,” and kick off the holiday season in this festive way, all because of my neighbor’s generosity.

I have a point: I could either headline the Whole Foods visit as “The Time a Stranger Yelled at Me” or “The Time I Went to Buy My Neighbor a Thank You Gift for Treating My Family to a Special Holiday Performance.” I think we all know the one that sticks. We publish the good news.

I’m wishing you all the happiest, coziest holiday season, but if you anticipate or find turbulence, I’m giving you a little squeeze and hoping some of my takeaways above might help smooth things out.

Onward!

Post-Scripts.

+A podcast on apologies that blew my mind.

+Give yourself a soft landing when you need it!

+Pertinent in the holiday seaason: how to fill your cup when you’re short on time.

+Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Fun statement sweater for $104, drafting off the popularity of the scoat and other Toteme-scarf-creations.

+Hotel Lobby just dropped its holiday collection! The Holiday one will absolutely sell out. Just ordered mine. They also included a votive set with mini versions of their best-selling scents. A really chic gift…for yourself. Hehe. I love the idea of keeping one at my desk while writing in the morning.

+Love all of Aligne’s Gabriella dresses (I own a denim one), but especially this cord style! Runs really generous — size down a size or two. More sizes here!

+This cashmere turtleneck arrived (I got in navy) and I’m completely hooked. It’s ultra-soft (not scratchy in the least) and ultra-thin — adds no bulk. A perfect winter base layer. You can use code JEN15 for 15% off. If the price is too steep, try this $59 option from Intimissi. StyledbyJerri was just raving about these!

+OK, this faux suede skirt (under $100) is wildly chic.

+I saw one of the moms at soccer wearing this capelet in white with Alo leggings in toasted almond and she looked SO chic.

+Philip Lim generously sent me this bag, which is currently 70% off as a part of their sample sale, plus an extra 20% off with code JOY20, meaning you pay $220 for a bag that retailed for almost $900. It’s SO CHIC. I had a lot of Instagram Magpies ask me if there is a longer strap to wear over shoulder — there is not, so take that under advisement. However, the larger size appears to fit over shoulder.

+Everlane is offering 30% off sweaters, coats, and boots. I can’t implore you more to try their liner jackets while only $125. I have one I got maybe five years ago that I still wear season after season. It fills such a great void in my closet — a lighter top layer over a shirt when not too chilly, but can also fit over a sweater when temps drop. Also comes in a longer version that my mom owns and loves. And a great time to snag those riding boots at a discount! (I included these in my roundup of great riding boots.)

+Only a few of the Alice Walk wool capes left! I just wore mine yesterday to Mass. Truly the chicest top layer for this time of year. These always sell out. A great investment piece.

+Happy Ugg season. I still love these ultra-minis I bought last year. (I have in the olive color.)

+Love the color of these Adidas Handball Spezials.

+A great look for less for La Ligne stripes.

+But speaking of La Ligne, I have to say I just love love love their Mini Marin sweater. I own several different styles they make and these are just top top top for me. I wear this stripe (in olive/black) or this solid (in red) at least 1-2x a week. SO soft and perfect fit for us petites, especially while wearing my dramatic and wide leg silhouettes this season.

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Currently struggling through a bad book hangover after finishing Sally Rooney’s latest novel, Intermezzo. I don’t read widely enough to authoritatively stake this kind of claim, but if there is a better contemporary writer out there, I…would be surprised. The way she captures character, and the complex and ambiguous interactions between people, often lived out through believable dialogue, is nothing short of masterful. But her expertise does not stop there; she is also a tremendous plotter (clever and satisfying twists and turns), and romance-teller (many sweet nothings in this book), and the text’s allusiveness shuttles me into a kind of English major glee. This is the best contemporary novel I’ve read since Demon Copperhead, and you know how I felt about that.

I am still unpacking the book, but as I read, I couldn’t stop thinking about the stories we tell ourselves, and the way these stories often masquerade as “truth” when they are far from it. These “tall tales,” or “misreadings” complicate and even jeopardize relationships. In Intermezzo, we meet two brothers working through grief and grappling with their roles in their relationship with one another and with themselves. As the plot unfolds, there are countless times in which they misinterpret the behaviors of one another, and misjudge themselves, too — hold themselves too highly accountable, mistake feelings for fact. How often do we tell the wrong stories about ourselves, and about others? How do we peel fact from fiction, the truth from the way we feel about it? It can be so difficult to find the purchase to separate the two, as everything arrives filtered by emotion, and memory, and context. It can sometimes feel that we are all little, glassed-off domes of complex, rooted emotion that we have no way of sharing clearly. How might I bring this awareness into my interactions with other people, and with myself, this week? I think we’d find much healthier self-talk if we could cultivate skill in peeling fact from story. For example, instead of “I am such a bad mom, I shouldn’t have lost my temper this morning,” it can be “I lost my patience this morning.” Or “I was SUCH AN AWKWARD LOSER in that conversation at that party; why was I trying to be funny?! I’m not funny!” it can be “I felt uncomfortable in a social setting.” I feel like observing the way we felt in a third party way might be helpful in avoiding unhealthy, and untrue, denigrations and judgments. Easier said than done, of course. But I’ve been trying recently to say “I felt xxx emotion” and go from there instead of “I am such an xxx, why did I do that?!”

It’s been a more difficult and painful process to think about the stories I’ve told myself about relationship breakdowns and tensions in the past, though. I find it almost impossible to fairly treat others and myself in these retrospectives. So often, they are colored by ossified hurt, or the “story” parts have slowly calcified into “fact” in weird ways, e.g., “she was so self-centered at that time in her life…” and “I was such a rule follower that I couldn’t find a way around.” (Are these facts, excuses, stories, lies…?)

More to come on the novel. I sprinted through a few mediocre romances as a palate cleanser — anything else that you’ve read that’s been wonderful lately?

****

Some shopping poetry:

DOEN VELVET DRESS // CROWN HAIR FAVORITES GIFT SET // CHAPPYWRAP SHAWL // PERFECT JEANS FOR RIDING BOOTS // KILTE FAIR ISLE SWEATER (YOUR MINI CAN MATCH YOU!) // UBEAUTY RESURFACING PEEL (20% OFF WITH JENSHOOP)

Doen dropped a new collection last week and I am in love with this velvet dress for the holiday season. // Are we already thinking about holiday gifts? I am planning to buy these for a few girlfriends. I’m obsessed with all of the included products, and it’s the perfect price point. // Just got this new fair isle cardigan from Kilte in and am in love. She is this gorgeous soft, brushed material and I love the colors. // Our favorite blanket company just launched wraps — under $100 — another cute holiday gift idea. // If you’re looking for a great straight-leg jean to tuck into a riding boot, I hear the fit on these is fantastic. // The first thing I did when I got back from Italy was use this resurfacing flash peel. (20% off with JENSHOOP) // On the trip, two skin-savers were a) these face wipes, which not only remove makeup but also tone skin, smell fantastic, and come in handy single packets ideal for travel. I am going to have to try really hard not to dip into these between trips! and b) these eye masks. I swear to God, they erase a night of little sleep, jetlag, etc. I am totally hooked. They also come in single use sets, so great for tossing in a toiletry bag. I used them immediately after getting into our hotel, and midway through the trip, after a long drive from Tuscany to Como. // LOVE these pants — have in a non-corduroy fabric but obsessed with the dark green cord linked — and the fit is fantastic. Run TTS; will not need to be hemmed if you’re petite. // I’ll have to do a whole rundown of the great style I saw specifically in Florence on Italian women but the item I saw a lot that I’m totally lusting after is a plaid, slightly oversized, blazer, worn with wide-leg jeans and loafers. Few examples at different pricepoints: this Aritizia, this J. Crew, this Veronica Beard, this J. Crew Factory.

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+DRIVE GENTLY: I saw a terrible car accident this past week and I couldn’t stop thinking about the boy (teenage driver) afterward. What must his mother have felt when receiving that call? What physical and financial duress would follow? It made me think about the sobering fact that today is someone else’s worst day. It was a reminder to go lightly, to drive gently, to give people grace. A single phone call, a moment of distraction in a car, can rearrange a life.

+KRISTEN BELL’S WARDROBE IN “NOBODY WANTS THIS”: I trust we’ve now all binged this Netflix series? For a minute, it was the only thing anyone could talk about. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the chemistry between Bell and Brody, the quick-fire dialogue, and Bell’s styling, of course! Bazaar shared a carousel of some of her best looks. Yes pls! Of course the fair isle is wildly up my alley. All my fav fair isle sweaters here (reminder that this $50 Old Navy steal is SO GOOD and bound to sell out). I would wear absolutely everything she does in the series and style it almost exactly as she did, too.

+OUR DOUBTS ARE OUR TRAITORS: I came across this Shakespeare quote jotted into one of my drafting notebooks last week and it stuck with me. When was the last time you let self-doubt interfere with your intentions, your ambitions? Get them out of here!

+RICK RUBINS WISDOM: I recently ordered this book on creativity from music producer Rick Rubins. I’d listened to a few of his podcasts and loved his perspectives on the creation of art, much of which boils down to: pursue what interests you, and don’t worry about the audience. This Instagram account spotlights many of his wisdoms, and I couldn’t agree more. Art — whether written, painted, sculpted, performed — that comes from inside, or from the pursuit of what’s inside — will always be more authentic and interesting. I believe that it is the artist’s job to put something out into the world and the viewer’s job to decide what to make of it, and to determine its value. Strangely, though, I’ve found that the more specific and (for lack of a better word) weird, or idiosyncratic, writing is — the more it is ostensibly concerned with its reception — the more readers respond to it. Put differently: what doesn’t interest you probably won’t interest you reader, so stop writing what you feel is expected of you. I am clinging to this principle right now as I make my way through a part of the novel I’m working on and finding myself disinclined to round out an aspect of the plot that feels needed to make everything “work.” I keep avoiding it! So I think I’ll leave it out. Also: all good art should contain a little dash of “what the hell?” I am thinking specifically of Sally Rooney’s last two novels (currently reading her latest). Both are a bit esoteric, and Rooney is experimenting in fascinating ways. I applaud her for it. I was telling Landon that I think her earlier work was more palatable to a mass audience and these later works are more challenging, more artistically exploratory, and I love this, even if I find the work itself occasionally strident or challenging to read.

+AD TARGETING I CAN GET BEHIND: Last week, Instagram served up an ad for this instrumental Christmas music playlist on Spotify. Um, did they look into my brain?! I promised myself I’d wait until after Halloween, but the heart wants what it wants, and working while listening to this playlist put me in the happiest mood.

+EYEING + BUYING: Per my note above, it’s beginning to feel like…Christmas! Don’t hate me! But Hill House launched its popular tartan/holiday release last week and I ordered this streamlined style. I love that tartan and know I’ll be thrilled to have it in the rotation for holiday festivities. Weezie also opened up its holiday shop, and I couldn’t resist these bow motif hand towels for our powder room. And finally, I stole this critter corduroy hat from my son — I ordered it from J. Crew Factory for him but it’s just too cute! — and how FAB is this Line & Dot olive green sweater and skirt combo!?

HILL HOUSE TARTAN DRESS // HEAVEN MAYHEM EARRINGS // TANYA TAYLOR CARDIGAN // WEEZIE HAND TOWELS // J. CREW FACTORY CRITTER CORDUROY HAT // LINE & DOT SWEATER AND SKIRT // AQUAZZURA COMBAT BOOTS

+BESTELLERS: My Valentina sneakers! Truly one of my favorite purchases this year. I wore them quite a bit while traveling in Italy over the past week and find they are so easy to slip on. These leverback earrings were also very popular — the final restock of the year. One of my favorite everyday earrings. So lightweight and easy to wear; I’ve even slept in them.

01. VERONICA BEARD VALENTINA SNEAKERS // 02. MAREA ANNIE FAIR ISLE CARDIGAN // 03. DORSEY LEVERBACK EARRINGS // 04. YVES DURIF BRUSH (A MAJOR RWI!!!) // 05. Z SUPPLY KNIT COAT (I OWN IN THE CHOCOLATE BROWN COLOR) // 06. OLD NAVY FAIR ISLE SWEATER // 07. PAIGE KNEE HIGH BOOT // 08. INNBEAUTY HOME + AWAY EXTREME CREAM SET // 09. LE BON SHOPPE SOCKS // 10. TUCKERNUCK BLOUSE // 11. ULLA JOHNSON CALAIS DRESS // 12. J. CREW BRUSHED CASHMERE SWEATER

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Surprise and ciao from Italy! I have been here since last Friday and am in fact on my way back to the US later today. Can’t wait to share more about this trip of a lifetime. In the meantime, a few outfit selfies.

FIRST DINNER IN TUSCANY: DOEN RHODIA DRESS (PAST SEASON PRINT) // APC GRACE BAG // DORSEY TENNIS BRACELET // LIZZIE FORTUNATO EARRINGS // QUINCE CASHMERE CARDIGAN

APERITIVI HOUR: SEA BLOUSE // AGOLDE JEANS // CHANEL BAG // CHANEL FLATS

EXPLORING FLORENCE: QUINCE CASHMERE CARDIGAN // CELINE SUNGLASSES // GAP JEANS (OLD) // APC GRACE BAG // DOEN BLOUSE (OLD, SIMILAR HERE)

EXPLORING TUSCANY: LA LIGNE CASHMERE SWEATER // GAP KICK FLARE JEANS // CHANEL FLATS // MANSUR GAVRIEL BAG

VISITING MONTEPULCIANO AND PIENZA: AGOLDE JEANS // ALIGNE CARDIGAN // GUEST IN RESIDENCE JACKET // STRIPE AND STARE TEE // APC BAG // VERONICA BEARD SNEAKERS // LIZZIE FORTUNATO NECKLACE

ARRIVING IN COMO: SEZANE BUTTON DOWN // QUINCE CASHMERE SWEATSHIRT // PISTOLA CORDUROYS // MANSUR GAVRIEL BAG // MARCH HARE WATCH // DOLCE VITA MESH FLATS

DINNER IN COMO: CARA CARA AGATA DRESS (PAST SEASON PATTERN — CURRENT SEASON OPTION HERE AND HERE) // DORSEY EARRINGS // DORSEY RING // CHANEL BAG

EXPLORING COMO: ALIGNE CARDIGAN // ULLA JOHNSON BLOUSE // GAP JEANS (OLD) // APC BAG

DINNER IN COMO: FEW MODA CASHMERE CARDIGAN // GOOP G LABEL LEATHER SKIRT // DORSEY RING // DORSEY JAMES NECKLACE // ISABEL MARANT BOOTS // MARCH HARE WATCH

COMO FOOD TOUR: AGOLDE JEANS // VERONICA BEARD BLAZER // APC BAG // DOLCE VITA FLATS

Ciao! More to come!