*Chic pea above is wearing an Acne beanie — currently in my cart, but in the pink color rather than gray — and a timeless Celine bag.
It’s funny how quickly my fortitude in cold weather evaporated after leaving Chicago. While in the Windy City, I distinctly remember considering anything in the 30s “warm-ish” and, as long as it was above 0, could soldier on largely without complaint. (There was, however, a horrible “polar vortex” that came through one of the years we lived there that led to a phenomenon the newscasters called “river smoke” or “arctic smoke” where fog was forming over the Chicago River because the air was the colder than the water, which was downright horrifying. It was shockingly cold. Beyond reason cold. The wind chill on one day was -45 degrees, and you risked close to immediate frostbite leaving the house with any skin exposed. I had an important meeting downtown that day, and so I went, but I remember absolutely sprinting from my car to the building, terrified. The air was so cold it is almost difficult to register in words.
Anyhow, when it comes to living with cold weather, the delta between Jen in Chicago and Jen in D.C. is…noticeable. We’ve barely dipped beneath frostpoint and I’ve already been wearing my smartwool socks, cashmere sweaters (have been living in this La Ligne, on sale!), and just yesterday, I pulled out my beloved Minna mittens. I love these things. They are incredibly warm (fleece-lined!) and I think hands always stay warmer in mittens versus gloves. Target has a pair nearly identical out that is only $15! The cold weather accessories currently in my cart: these faux fur trim gloves in black for dressy occasions (such a good value!), these camel cashmere gloves (such a great value at $30 and will look fab layered with my cashmere sweaters), and this ACNE hat in the perfect shade of pink.
More fabulous, chic cold weather accessories on my radar below.
P.P.S. I also got into a great habit last winter of listening to audiobooks while doing the dishes and/or working on jigsaw puzzles (it was a long, lonely winter…) while my children napped in the afternoons. At the time, this was as much as a survival mechanism as it was anything else — I needed the escape, distraction, possibility that there were worlds beyond the tiny Manhattan apartment in which we were cloistered owing to weather and the pandemic. Now I think back with something like softness on those days. The experience truly brings to mind the passage by Natalya Ginzburg I referenced in this post. Anyhow, I shared all my favorite audiobooks, many of which I listened to that long, cold, isolated winter, here.
*Image above via Kael Rebick. Her Instagram is so gorgeous!
My Latest Snag: New, Reasonably Priced Pants.
I have been looking for some new, reasonably priced weekday pants now that the weather is cooler. I have several pairs of designer jeans I live in during the cold months, a few trousers for dressier occasions (read: pair only with heels and therefore ill-suited to my everyday), and wanted to diversify things. I snagged these cords in the burgundy color and these jeans after so many of you raved about Madewell’s denim — these feel like the perfect “right now” jeans in that they’re classic but also contemporary with the times.
+SEA cardigan. Swoon. Caveat emptor: I bought this for myself and it was overwhelming on my petite frame, but have seen so many other stylish women rock it and am tres envious.
+Insanely jealous of how many of you have purchased these Aquazzura combat boots. They’re at the top of my lust list.
+Hotel Lobby candle. I ordered the Holiday scent, which is now sold out, and I think most of you did the same, but there are other festive scents still available!
+Hotel quality pillows. Last time I checked, these were an extra 40% off, making two only $24. These went straight into our guest bedroom. Read the reviews!
Are you a crier? I cry at the drop of a hat. I cried when Mr. Magpie left for a short work trip the other week and mini saw me and asked, “Are those happy tears?” Which made me want to cry even more. (How does she know what ‘happy tears’ are?). I cry when people compliment me, I cry when a song touches me, I cry when I scroll through pictures of my children after they’ve fallen asleep…! I had to busy myself with a piece of paper the other day when an employee of a non-profit shared a story about one of the clients she served, about a teen mom in a foster home who refused to attend school despite multiple counselors and social workers encouraging and at times demanding she do so. After awhile, it came out that her birth parents had not sent her to school since fifth grade and she was horrified at the thought that she would be expected to perform at a high school grade level and worried her classmates would think she was stupid. Everyone else was nodding empathetically and I was swallowing back tears. Even now, writing this out, a pit forms in my stomach when I think that she had learned to deprive herself of something she wanted, or needed, out of fear of humiliation or retaliation. How intense and hard her life must have been, and how poignant to think how determined she’d been to hold all of these totally relatable fears in.
Alright, that last example might make even a non-crier cry.
The other day, I came across this quote by Charlotte Bronte:
“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.”
I’m typically embarrassed about how easily moved I am, but this made me feel better.
Do you consider yourself a crier?
Post-Scripts.
+FYI — Maisonette has marked down some of the adorable holiday Petite Plume pajamas, as well as some of their festive holiday clothing for littles, including this beyond adorable tartan dress.
+Speaking of knits: it’s sweater season (and sweater dress season, too). Trust me, you need one of these. So satisfying to use and they really work! I just used mine to clean up a few of my sweaters for the season.
+J. Crew has some great tartan pieces in modern shapes at the moment, including this nap-dress-like midi and this puff-sleeved mini. I just bought this top for myself. I always find myself looking for a casual but festive piece like this in the days leading up to Christmas for hanging out with family before the big day.
+This plaid turtleneck is also a great buy for the same reason. Would look cute with high-waisted black trousers/denim.
+Keep coming back to this $60 top. Love the on-trend dimensions, and the color is fabulous.
+Super love this quilted sweatshirt with the perfect puff sleeve. I have a black sweatshirt with a puff sleeve / ruffle at the shoulder and it always makes me feel just a tiny bit more pulled together than basic athleisure. Great for things like carpool pick-up line, playground, etc.
+Here to report that people are losing their minds over these Ugg slippers. Tastemakers Lilly Sisto and Courtney Grow have been wearing them a lot!
+Personally, these are more my speed when it comes to slippers I won’t be mind getting caught wearing while picking up coffee.
+These tall battery-operated lamps are SO brilliant for outdoor dining! No cords, no fuss! I absolutely love the style, too.
+These $30 knit sets are great for little ones in cool weather — micro had this last year! Love the green.
+These multi-colored candlesticks have been in my cart all week…I’m considering buying the pink, blue, and two of the greens and clustering on a tablescape.
+I love my Rowenta steamer, but this handheld one is super chic, too. However, I have to say I am eyeing Rowenta’s full-sized/pro-grade one. I love the idea I can just leave this one standing in the laundry room rather than pulling ours out of the closet every time I want to steam.
+These puzzles by Ordinary Habit are gorgeous! Would make a fun family gift…or just buy for yourself. We’re entering puzzle season! I love having a puzzle out to work on around the holidays!
+I have been seeing a lot of hot pink lately and I’m into it. This Reformation dress had me doing a double take, and Hunter Bell’s holiday collection is full of stunning hot pink pieces like this top.
+But do I need this green velvet dress from Reformation, too?! Eee. This season’s collection is calling my name!
Honestly, I can’t tell you how much fun I had putting this particular gift guide together. So many fun and style-conscious finds I can’t wait to give my own children…! This stocking stuffer guide is geared towards children 2-6, give or take, and also contains lots of good stand-alone gifts if you’re looking for a reasonably priced little something to offer children in your life. I will be publishing a stocking stuffer guide for babies (I know many of you have tiny ones this year!) soon!
COLORED PENCILS SETS WITH SHARPENER BUILT IN — THESE ARE SO CUTE AND WELL-PRICED; YOU COULD BUY A FEW AND GIVE AWAY AS GIFTS WRAPPED UP IN TISSUE/CELLO WITH A BIG RIBBON TO LOTS OF COUSINS/CLASSMATES
FIDGET TOYS SET — I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW MUCH CHILDREN LOVE THESE SETS! I GAVE THESE AWAY AS HALLOWEEN PARTY FAVORS AND THE KIDS WERE OBSESSED! GREAT GIFT FOR A BUNCH OF LITTLE FRIENDS, AGAIN WRAPPED UP IN CELLO WITH A BOW!…THESE KEY CHAIN STYLE ONES COULD ALSO BE CUTE FOR A CROWD
YETI WATER BOTTLE — HATE TO SAY IT, BUT THE HYPE IS WORTH IT…KEEP DRINKS COOL, ARE EASY TO CLEAN, ARE EASY FOR CHILDREN TO USE! (ONLY DOWNSIDE: THEY ARE HEAVY)
P.S. “Something elastic happens to time once you become a mother. An hour can feel like a lifetime, and a year can zip by so quickly it nearly erases itself, and the malapropisms and baby grammar and peek-a-boo along with it. And running straight through (or perhaps an asymptote of or other-geometric-function-whose-name-I-can’t-recall to) those distortions: the wilderness of time as witnessed by a child.” More here.
Quick! Today only, Jayson Home is offering 20% off everything, but the main “snag” is discounted designer candles! You can score holiday scents from Trudon (and any of their signature scents, too), any of Diptyque’s many cult-following scents, and D.S & Durga for a rare discount. These are fantastic gifts for a couple you don’t know too well, or for anyone on your list who enjoys a splurgey home product, and can be bundled with a fancy wick trimmer or candle snuffer or set of decorative matches.
The specific scents I’d recommend:
DIPTYQUE — “FEU DE BOIS” IS MY SIGNATURE WINTER SCENT — SMELLS LIKE AN ELEGANT WOOD-BURNING HOME; “FIGUIER” IS ALSO A DELIGHTFUL PINE-CENTRIC HOLIDAY PICK; AND “BAIES” IS A FLORAL CLASSIC
D.S. & DURGA — PEOPLE RAVE ABOUT “BIG SUR AFTER THE RAIN”
CIRE TRUDON — MR. MAGPIE INTRODUCED ME TO THIS BRAND BY BUYING ME “TRIANON” LAST CHRISTMAS AND THESE ARE THE MOST ELEGANT HOME SCENTS YOU’VE EVER SMELLED…THEY NEVER CLOY, EVEN AFTER BURNING FOR HOURS
CIRE TRUDON MINIS — AVAILABLE IN FEWER SCENTS, BUT I’D LOVE TO TRY THE FEMININE “JOSEPHINE” SCENT
CIRE TRUDON HOLIDAY — THE “GABRIEL” SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN (“CASHMERE WOOD”?! COUNT ME IN)
Note that you can also snag Diptyque bar soaps on sale as a part of the promotion. These would be so elegant in a guest bathroom, or as a housewarming gift, or wrapped up individually as little holiday surprises for people in your life. Last but not least — Diptyque house spray! A genius little way to zhush a guest room or foyer before guests come through, or spritz in your closet. I have this in the Baies scent.
Last but not least, there are tons of amazing small gift ideas at Jayson, including John Derian playing cards (great stocking stuffer / gift for a friend who enjoys playing cards) and this framed hand-lettered “merci” card which honestly I kind of want for my own office, as a daily reminder to be grateful. But could also be a chic, semi-permanent way to honor the kindness of a friend whose done something wonderful.
*Note: Sephora’s launching its tiered holiday promotion starting today. VIB Rouge get 20% off today through 11/15; VIB enjoy 15% off starting 11/9-11/15; and beauty insiders earn 10% off 11/11-11/15.In the post-scripts below, I’m sharing my top picks for this promotion!
Often, when I’m writing about beauty and skincare products, I’m startled by how often I say: “A makeup artist once told me…” Do you feel the same way? As though beauty tips and perspectives are stalagmitic, gradually accruing over time without your ever noticing? Below, sharing a few that spring to mind today:
+You don’t need to apply foundation all over your face. It blew my mind when a makeup artist applied foundation only to my t-zone and then blended outward. She insisted I didn’t need full coverage and that this would yield a more natural effect. I’ve followed suit ever since! Bonus points: you save product this way. I will say that not all foundations work well with this approach — it has to be a consistency that blends nicely and skin must be richly hydrated and primed first or you could end up looking a bit splotchy. My approach is to apply serums and moisturizers (my full skincare regimen here), then an illuminating primer, and then swipe Westman Atelier’s foundation stick across my brow, between and under my eyes, around my nose, and on my chin — all my problem areas for redness/blemishes. Then I use an Artis Oval 7 brush to blend it all in, but I don’t really apply any foundation along my hairline, jaw, cheeks, etc. I find this means my freckles still stand out and it looks like I’m not wearing any makeup when I am.
+You can’t hide a dried-out blemish. It’s inevitable that you’ll be blemish-free for weeks and then the minute you have a big event, you wind up with several imperfections! My mother gave me a Bobbi Brown makeup book in my tweens and the one tidbit I remember was her saying that, contrary to common sense, you should not dry out a zit if you need to cover it up. She advised hydrating the area so that it can be smoothly covered by concealer (and Cle de Peau’s is the absolute best).
+It’s OK to apply with your fingertips. A makeup artist from Chantecaille reassured me that sometimes fingers are your best tools, especially for applying tinted moisturizers and dabbing undereye concealer. It can be so hard to get a natural look otherwise.
+Use the “windshield wiper” approach for contoured eyes. Whenever I get my makeup done (which hasn’t been for a long, long time), I always ask them to focus on the eyes and keep the rest of the makeup simple. I tend to prefer a dramatic eye versus a dramatic lip, and I also find eye shadow difficult to apply. However, when I’m on my own, I use the “windshield wiper approach” a Laura Mercier artist once taught me. That is — apply a neutral/base color all over the eye first, then apply a darker color along the lash line, in the far corner of the eye, and along the crease of the eye, blotting as you go. (So imagine you’re making a sort of stretched-out carat sign along your lash line, in the far corner of your eye, and then along the crease.). For some reason she described this as a windshield wiper. It really does yield a dramatic and easy-to-attain effect. An eye palette like this one or this one (which I own and love) is perfect when you’re first trying out since all of the colors are sort of mellow and blendable. A light higher stakes if you’re using a dark purple/black eye shadow as the darker color!
+Apply eye makeup first. Instead of applying foundation and concealer first, do your eyes. This means that if/when you smudge or if extra product falls onto your cheek, you can quickly clean it without needing to re-do your entire face!
+Soften your look with facial spray at the end. To keep things from looking to “cakey” or “done,” apply a face mist (i love this Caudalie) all over your face and gently dab to blend after you’ve finished applying makeup.
+If you’re going for a bold lip, do a more neutral eye — and vice versa (bold eye, neutral lip). Otherwise you start to enter “overdone” territory.
+There’s no such thing as waterproof mascara. Is this true? I’m not sure. But several makeup artists have insisted it does not exist.
+If you’re wearing a matte lipstick, you need a primer. A makeup artist described Mac’s lip primer as “velcro” for lip color. I’ve followed suit ever since.
What other nuggets of beauty and skincare wisdom do you have to share with the class today?!
Shopping Break: My Picks from the Sephora Promotion.
+These caviar sticks are so easy to apply and so chic for holiday festivities. I have these in moonlight and khaki and they are so perfect for evening.
+If you buy nothing else from this blog, try Westman Atelier’s Foundation Stick. It is just so, so good. It glides on and blends beautifully and looks hyper natural. (Provided your skin is well-hydrated prior.) It is probably my favorite beauty discovery besides the Revlon One Step in the last decade. Well — I also have to rave about Clarins’ Double Serum. If you get those three products, you’ll be a happy camper.
+I was initially so-so on this Saie highlighter just because I already have so many other highlighting products in my makeup bag, but midway through summer, I started dabbing it along my collarbone and decollatage and it is SO gorgeous on the body! A tiny pump is all you need to get that “did she just get back from vacation?” vibe. Anyhow, I used it so much this summer, I finished the bottle, which is saying a lot for a beauty product, and will be repurchasing, especially for shoulder-baring holiday outfits.
+I never pay full price for Tata Harper face wash, which I have been using faithfully for years now, because I always wait for a promotion like this to stock up.
+I’ve been hearing really good things about this exfoliating body wash. I’ve never found one that I love for any reason beyond scent (i.e., I don’t think any leave my skin particularly lustrous), so I’m curious to test.
+I’ve enjoyed Saie’s clean mascara (one of the best mascaras I’ve ever tried, clean or not) and toyed with the idea of splurging on Chantecaille’s ridiculously priced formula but will be heading back to old faithful: Armani’s Eyes to Kill. My longtime favorite. Slightly more dramatic/thick that Saie, which is honestly how I like it. I love a lot of mascara.
+If you’ve ever wondered “do I really need a primer?”, this formula will answer the question for you. My mom turned me onto it; she calls it “her spackle.”
+Guerlain’s bronzer is the bronzer to end all bronzers. I’ll never even try another bronzer. I used Nars Laguna for years and — what was I doing? Guerlain is infinitely superior in formula, pigmentation, etc. I also find the palette never cracks/crumbles, which was a big problem for me with Nars.
+I have loved Ouai’s texturizing hair spray for years now but my talented hair stylist here in D.C. (Ismail, at George Salon at the Four Seasons) uses Oribe’s formula and who am I to argue with genius? I will be buying this, especially since my new shorter do can be styled with textured waves to get the Hailey Bieber effect.
I can’t unsee this feather trim dress. It’s somehow the apotheosis of my teenage fashion dreams, heavily influenced by Cher in Clueless mixed in with J Love Hewitt’s proclivity towards all things strapless. And yet it is also so contemporary and chic. While I was lingering on it the other day, wondering how I could finagle a way to legitimize its purchase, I realized how many chic feathered finds there are out this season, including this more reasonably priced blouse, which would perfection for festive occasions this winter, and J. Crew’s fun white button-down style with feathers at the cuffs. And you know I’m lusting after those Sleeper pajamas — PSA: you can get the look for much less with this under-$100 pair! I’m sharing even more below, but please note that though these pricey feather clutches from Dries Van Note are all the rage at the moment, you can get the look for less with this, this, or this.
SLEEPER PAJAMAS (CAN TOTALLY WEAR OUT OF THE HOUSE — LOOK FOR LESS WITH THESE) // DRIES VAN NOTEN BAG (LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS, THIS, THIS) // LE SUPERBE TOP // NICOLA BATHIE MULES // LAPOINTE TOP // MIGNONNE GAVIGAN EARRINGS // LAPOINTE BLAZER // LA MARQUE JACKET // 16 ARLINGTON DRESS // BIRDIES MULES // ETSY HANDBAG
A few other finds not seen above:
THIS $200 EVENING DRESS WOULD MAKE SUCH A FUN STATEMENT
I have received a ton of requests for secret santa gifts under $30 — it sounds like a lot of us sustain this tradition in our extended families. Below, a few chic options in the under $30 category, whether you’re participating in a secret santa gambit or looking for something reasonable for a few teachers, neighbors, or friends.
Great Gifts for Women for Under $30.
PADDED VELVET HEADBAND — COME IN TONS OF COLORS, $19, AND A PERFECT SURPRISE FOR A TRENDY LADY
LIP SCRUB — I LOVE THIS BRAND SO MUCH AND USE THIS SCRUB CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT THE WINTER
J. CREW TISSUE TURTLENECK — THE LAYERING PIECE OF THE YEAR
Great Gifts for Men for Under $30.
NEEDLEPOINT COOZIE — WHAT IS IT WITH MEN AND COOZIES? THIS ONE IS ABOUT AS GOOD LOOKING AS THEY COME!
TABLETOPICS — ALSO A GOOD FAMILY/COUPLE GIFT IF YOU’RE RUNNING DRY
TILE TRACKER — ATTACH TO WALLET, KEYS, ETC SO THEY’RE NEVER LOST!
LEUCHTTERM NOTEBOOK — MR. MAGPIE AND I BOTH LOVE THESE, ESPECIALLY THE SQUARED AND DOTTED ONES…NOTHING SAYS “I’M PULLED TOGETHER” LIKE AN ELEGANT NOTEBOOK
MOLTON BROWN BLACK PEPPER SHOWER GEL — OLD FAITHFUL FOR MR. MAGPIE; THIS IS ABOUT AS BRACING AND MASCULINE AS SHOWER GELS COME, BUT STILL SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH THAT I WANT TO USE IT AS WELL — AND CURRENTLY 25% OFF!!!
HARNEY & SONS PEPPERMINT TEA — WE ARE NEVER WITHOUT THIS DELICIOUS CAFFEINE-FREE MINT TEA, AND MR. MAGPIE IS HOOKED, TOO
If you’re still on the hunt, you might find inspiration in my coffee/tea service post, or my kitchen gear post.
P.S. A full-on gift guide for men here and gift guide for women here. I usually orient these guides towards the $100 and under price range because, well, personally I don’t often spend more on an individual person, but a couple of higher-end items I would personally love…
P.P.S. Lessons learned from my daughter’s eye disorder.
P.P.P.S. On living with grief: “I wish I could remember everything, but today my tenderness will be enough.”
By: Jen Shoop
*I wish I knew the source of the coat above but alas! Pinterest find! Designer Federica Tosi makes some gorgeous long-length herringbone/tweed toppers in a similar vein.
I mentioned this yesterday, but in my opinion, outerwear is a reasonable category to splurge in if you take into account cost per wear. You might buy an adorable cocktail dress and wear it twice a season, whereas a chic statement coat can be worn every other day of the week! Bonus: no one needs to know you’re wearing basic jeans and a white tee beneath. Below, my favorite outerwear finds this season…
I am seriously loving the fringed coat trend. Check out how it’s styled on Mango’s site — with otherwise crisp basics. I also like the more cape/poncho cuts, including this black watch tartan Avec Les Filles (on sale!) and this Liu Jo (seen above). These look fantastic with Isabel Marant boots.
If these are too loud in shape or style, you can never go wrong with a classic ladylike wool coat from Mackage or a wrap-style from Harris Wharf London (look for less with this!).
A few others I love not seen above:
THIS CHANNELED VELVET — THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT TO WEAR WITH A LONGER-LENGTH HOLIDAY DRESS
A FABULOUS BLACK BELTED WOOL COAT WITH FUR COLLAR AT A FANTASTIC PRICE — THE SLIGHTLY LONGER LENGTH MAKES IT LOOK VERY HIGH-FASHION
So many of these would layer beautifully over a new sweater knit dress glammed up with some of the fun statement pieces here. And if you’re after chic cold weather accessories (hats, gloves, etc), I shared some in this roundup of Magpie Shopping Queries!
P.S. Denim dresses, shirts, and more for the season.
It has become a yearly ritual to dress the children in brand-new Christmas pajamas after dinner on Thanksgiving evening. It gives me the warmest hygge feeling. I typically go with Petite Plume for the occasion, and this year looks to be no different. (I’ve had a few Magpies and friends ask for suggestions for thoughtful gifts to give as godparents to babies around the holidays, and I always think a classic Petite Plume set is a special gift.). I am leaning towards these precious vintage toy print ones for micro and mini. However, these tartan ones (also Petite Plume) are an absolute classic. You can get the look for less with this $12 steal at Target!
THESE FAIR ISLE SWEATER KNIT BOOTIES ARE BEYOND PRECIOUS (AND $10!)
CANDY CANES FOR BOYS, GIRLS, AND ITTY BITTIES (I OWNED SO MANY OF THESE LE PETER PAN COLLAR ROMPERS FOR MICRO — THEY ARE SUPER SOFT AND WELL-MADE AND LOOK A BIT DRESSIER THAN COLLARLESS STYLES FOR TAKING OUT AND ABOUT!)
THIS ICE BLUE PAIR — J’ADORE! I HAVE LIKE THREE PAIRS OF THIS “DREAMY” STYLE PAJAMA AND THEY ARE TRULY THE MOST COMFORTABLE…PERFECT WITH THIS EYE MASK AND THESE DAPHNE MORRIS SLIPPERS
JEWELED JAMMIES (TOP / BOTTOM) YOU CAN WEAR TO DINNER…MEANT TO GO WITH A PADDED HEADBAND
A friend recently described me as “a perfectionist” (in a loving and flattering way) and I’ve been reflecting on that portrait since. She’s not entirely wrong, but she’s also not entirely right. On the one hand, I do have my ducks in a row. I am hyper-organized, I am an anticipator rather than a procrastinator, and I like my linens ironed. I’ve had readers in the past write: “Life’s too short to worry about ironed sheets!” and I intuitively understand that “ironed sheets” is a metonymy for “over-engineered logistics.” Frankly, I can use the reminder. I want to live my life, not spend it fluffing the pillow cushions. Still. I like things the way I like them, and I come by it earnestly as the daughter to a mother who, when visiting our home, will whisper in my ear with concern: “There is no tissue box in the powder bathroom.” The beds are always made in the morning, my children rarely leave the house in non-coordinated outfits, and the minute both are tucked in at night, I flit around the main level putting everything back in its place and even restoring the coffee table decor that we routinely remove from the premises to make space for duplos and puzzles during the day.
Of course, I am conflating a lot of adjacencies here, because order in the home is not precisely the same thing as perfectionism, but the point stands: I run a tight ship at home.
And yet. I consider myself a true pragmatist. Writing, entrepreneurship, and parenthood have led me to accommodate compromise in countless matters. I publish around 700 posts a year, and the volume necessitates a relinquishment of aims at precision. Things go live and I look back on them and cringe. There are posts I wish I could delete but insist on keeping up, if for nothing else to ground myself and remain true to my conviction that writing is a process, not a product. I doubt very much a bona fide perfectionist would say the same. Entrepreneurship has demanded similar negotiations. I have found that entrepreneurship, almost by nature, is about navigating constraints: you must constantly find scrappy ways to make do with less, which means you are never going to ship a fully-finished, fully-featured widget, or you are never going to be able to recruit or afford the absolute best talent, or you are never going to be able to accommodate the idiosyncratic requests of customers simply because you have limited bandwidth. Entrepreneurship is the most poorly marketed profession I’ve ever encountered in the sense that I’ve rarely seen an accurate portrayal of it. It is the opposite of flashy and slick. It is all about mitigating risk and selecting the least-offensive of a range of unappealing options. In short, it, too, has foiled the perfectionist in me. And parenthood — ah, parenthood! So many of the things I thought I’d never do I have done. As a superficial example, as I make it a point of pride to ensure my children are nicely dressed with hair combed, there have also been many times where my child is the one, to put a narrow point on it, traipsing through Glen Echo Park barefoot and bedraggled. (I wrote about some of the other mental gymnastics parenting has required of me recently here.)
In many ways, I consider myself more of a pragmatist than even Mr. Magpie, who is more on-the-straight-and-narrow than I am. This is a man who does not believe in shortcuts. If he commits to something, it’s 100%, all-in, no fudged edges. I will, on the other hand, sometimes tell him “don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough.” There are times where I will go in with a plan, realize it’s not going to work, and jump ship. Mr. Magpie will fight it out to the end. “There must be way,” he will insist, and he will engineer a new solution, and I will marvel at his resiliency. This is not to say I don’t have grit and commitment where it matters. But I’m thinking specifically of times I’ve tried to do something DIY/Pinterest-esque and realized halfway through I’m simply not that woman and just think, “Hm, OK. Well, store-bought it is.” Mr. Magpie would be the type to say, “Well, wait a minute. What if we tried…”
In general, though, we are two peas in a pod, right in the center, with him slightly further on the “purist” side of the spectrum and me slightly further on the “pragmatist” side. So maybe it’s that I’m a pragmatist in perfectionist’s clothing? Or vice versa?
What does any of this matter, you may be wondering, as you enter paragraph six? Well, I have found that it is sometimes helpful, in this project of self-knowledge that demands our participation on a daily basis, to hang a few hooks on a wall and see where your coat belongs. As I have thought through this question, I have discovered, for example, that I believe pragmatism to be the opposite of perfectionism. But is that accurate? The spectrum I’ve conjured doesn’t even contemplate “laissez-faire” as a possible tentpole. And that says something, too.
What do you think, friends? Do you consider yourself a perfectionist? A pragmatist? Or something I’ve not even included as an option? Has this changed over time, or because of profession or life stage? Or do you see yourself as a perfectionist in some spheres and something different in others?
+”I can say this, though: the or maybes is the great gift of a degree in English, the vindication I might offer my friend, should we ever revisit the topic: the accommodation of a multitude of narrative possibilities. English trained me to look at a single word and ask: “but why this one?” and to recognize a certain rhyme scheme and ask “what if it were another?” I am forever shaped by the way those questions both exact and forgive….”
+What do you think of the imperative: “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave”? Thoughts here.
+This floral puffer has been a best-seller for weeks and is currently on sale.
+This Etsy shop sells the most beautiful personalized bows that will be perfect for the holidays (check out this poinsettia-inspired one!), and the sweet seller is offering my readers 10% off with code magpie10.
+RUN. This adorable tartan shirtdress with ruffled shoulder is only $60 and absolutely perfect for countless holiday festivities.
+OK, I swear I won’t talk your ear off about this but I’m seriously obsessed with this new Marc Jacobs bag my girlfriend gave me (she works there and is, like, kind of a big deal). The colors are so fantastic for my fall wardrobe (though it also comes in fabulous cream or black versions) and it’s the perfect shape and size. It has enough structure to hold a phone, card case, keys, sanitizer, mask, and is therefore ideal when out and about chasing kids and wanting to keep your precious items on you (versus in a tote bag in the stroller). I’m traumatized still by the time I left my bag on my stroller at an NYC playground and saw a man reach into it while pretending to look after a child there. (!!!). I know I don’t live there anymore, and also shame on me for being so naive, but — !! I will never ever leave my valuables/precious items off my body again.
+Bergdorf’s is offering 30% off prestige beauty products that rarely go on sale — especially at a discount so steep! Consider Tom Ford’s lipsticks or the GloPro, which I’ve never tried but understand enjoys a cult following.
+Seriously the cutest little sweatshirt for a little one.
+I have to say, this paillette skirt in the ivory color is pretty fantastic. I don’t usually do minis anymore, but this would be so cute with a fitted ivory turtleneck sweater.
+Still a few of these fabulous reversible coats left. Coats are a smart way to invest — you get so much use out of them in a given season (versus, say, a dress you might wear a handful of times).
+This maxi skirt is so well-priced and CHIC for fall.
+Have been really feeling rugby shirts this season. I bought Mr. Magpie this one, micro this one, and am now contemplating this for myself. I have a vision of layering it beneath this puffer vest with these suede flats or statement sneaks for weekend daytime.
+Just bought mini this rugby dress (!) too — currently an extra 50% off, making it $23!
+If the rugby stripe vibe is too sporty, try my favorite polo-inspired sweater for a softer take on the trend.
+And if those Vejas linked above aren’t your speed, some of my longtime favorite Supergas are on serious sale here, for as low as $30/pair!
+Thanks to the reader who recommended this Etsy shop for a beautifully-crafted children’s easel!
+We spend a lot of time hanging out in our cul de sac with neighbors and their children, and in the evenings, we often enjoy a glass of wine while supervising the children together. I was thinking we might need to buy some of these roadie cups!
+Have you heard about this “space disco” party trend? I don’t fully understand its origins, but if you’re invited to one, you must wear this.
+I ordered myself one of these Hotel Lobby candles over the weekend in the Holiday scent (now sold out), but they still have some other great winter scents and their signature is supposed to be gorgeous, too.
By: Jen Shoop
I feel as though the window of time for me to match or at least coordinate with my daughter is rapidly shrinking, and I’m going to jump on any remaining opportunities. Cleobella generously offered to gift me one of the pieces from their beautiful new fall collection and I knew immediately I wanted this Lotus dress and the matching style for mini, seen above. It will be perfect for a few upcoming fall gatherings — I have it specifically earmarked for a family dinner one of my friends is hosting (with littles invited).
+This may trigger some of you, but upscale Tevas has been trending the last year and these ones from a small French brand for you and these for your little could be pretty epic for spring. I’d pair with a loose-fitting white dress (also love this SEA, on sale) for a major statement.
Have been throwing a contrasting sweater around my shoulders nearly every day this fall. It functions like a scarf (warming!) but adds so much interest and dimension to even a straight-forward, solid colored dress, and I’m encouraged by the smart styling above. Would not have thought to layer over a blazer but now I want to try, too! Recreate with this blazer, this sweater, and this smart ladylike bag similar to the one seen above.
Within this category, I have been loving pairing a fair isle sweater I have very similar to this by wearing it over my shoulders while wearing a camel colored crewneck cashmere sweater beneath.
THESE COS ONES ALSO COME IN GREAT COLORS — SANS J MCLAUGHLIN’S RIBBING IF THAT’S NOT YOUR THING
JUST ORDERED MYSELF ONE OF THESE $21 STRETCHY TURTLENECKS — I OWN SOMETHING SIMILAR FROM BP THAT IS AT LEAST 10 OR 15 YEARS OLD THAT I WEAR EVERY YEAR…THESE STRETCHIER STYLES ARE THE BEST FOR LAYERING UNDER DRESSES
I especially love to wear turtlenecks underneath oversized cardigans or turtleneck sweaters or even turtleneck sweatshirts, usually in tone-on-tone or similar-tone color combos — the layering looks amazing. I’m also inspired this year to layer under more of my dresses, i.e., this tiered corduroy or this tiered navy shirtdress (would look so good with stripes underneath).
I also have one of these Veronica Beard sleeveless trenches that will look fabulous paired with a turtleneck beneath!
Uggs.
No, I know. They’re back! I personally like the really short ones (esp in olive gree, seen above) or the really tall ones (esp in black). I had a pair of Isabel Marant shearling lined mukluk style boots that were more or less a fancy Ugg and I wore them absolutely into the ground two years ago. This style of boot is just so difficult to resist if you live anywhere with chilly winters where you will spend time on a daily basis outside. Like, walking a dog in NYC at night? You need these!
Sorel has a “slipper” in a similar vein that boast sturdy rubber soles just like Uggs that I just ordered. It looks like the absolute comfiest slipper to wear when dashing out to the curb or, well, per the slipper’s name, going on a coffee run, or just putzing around the house. I think I will buy these for our caregiver as well.
Jeweled Everything.
Nicola Bathie and Hill House united to create a season of sparkly, glitzy accessories and details that I simply cannot resist. I shared a ton of my favorite jeweled and embellished finds here, but then I saw Annie Major (photo immediately above) in these jeweled jammies (tops here, bottoms here — sold separately) and I had to have them. I’d been so focused on nap dresses, I’d overlooked these babies. I am actually going to wear this look head to toe OUT of the house with velvet pumps.
In the first photo above, I’m totally swooning over these fun sparkly brooches. It led me to go treasure hunting on Etsy — I’m going to buy a few, mix and match, and pin onto my own jacket! Can you imagine how chic a cluster of brooches would be pinned to this coat in the slate green (similar in hue to the one above) or this neutral sherpa, right along the side pocket as seen above? I love this rhinestone alligator, this lot of four round styles, this bow, this bow/leaf, this PARIS! So fun to mix and match. This also led me to reconsider the purchase of this beautiful Jennifer Behr hair slide. So, so fun.
Brent Neale Jewelry.
Brent Neale is one of my new favorite follows on Instagram. Her jewelry is so whimsical and spectacular and creative — I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’m obsessed! You can browse her jewelry here. Much of it is custom and all of it is divine. I keep coming back to look at these breathtaking earrings. A girl can dream!
Wiggy Kit Dress.
I love everything about the Wiggy Kit dress above and how it’s styled. Love the length of the dress with those smart booties, which I would probably pair with more of a kitten heel in the form of my favorite Talbots booties and my favorite Alexandre Birman booties (<<I own this exact pair and it’s just the right amount of disco ball energy; currently 70% off). I also love these croc ones from Paris Texas. I even love the way she’s wearing her hair — it’s just right with the dress. I’m so loving the ric rac/scalloped detailing on this dress, too. I’ve noticed that detail crop up in a few places, including at & Other Stories, Doen, and Hunter Bell. Finally, if you like the gingham print of this dress, you might also enjoy my gingham picks here. I have been getting a lot of wear out of this bag and this skirt this season!
