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Mr. Magpie is head chef de cuisine in our house, but I’ve learned a thing or two observing the maestro, too. I thought I’d share some of our favorite under-the-radar gear that makes cooking more efficient, or more consistent, or more impressive, and sometimes all three.

best kitchen gear

1 // KITCHEN SCALE. We measure everything by weight. I have been surprised by how much better baking projects in particular turn out when ingredients are measured in weight! Many cookbooks provide loose approximations in volume but weight is the best path forward. We actually have this OXO scale that we love (I specifically appreciate that the display can be pulled out from the scale in situations where you are measuring something bigger than the diameter of the scale, which actually does happen with some regularity), but Wirecutter recommends this $20 style and I’m inclined to go with their rec. I personally like that their rec includes a coated surface/buttons in event of accidental spillage (which happens with fair regularity as well). Plus, it’s $20 and comes in cute colors.

2 // SPIDER STRAINER. I don’t know how we lived before this — it is in constant use in our home. Great for removing items from boiling water (i.e., green beans, carrots, etc) and especially for frying (dip item slowly into oil while in this basket to prevent splatter, then remove just as easily). This gives you the flexibility to remove items individually if ingredients/items are cooking at different rates. It’s also always readily available in our kitchen crock and therefore I find myself reaching for it when I just need to rinse a handful of berries, or drain a small amount of water, etc. I personally like this wood handled style (versus the more prevalent stainless steel ones) because it does not conduct heat, so you can be removing items from hot oil without worrying that the handle will burn you.

3 // MEAT THERMOMETER. Mr. Magpie is more confident in his ability to assess doneness via various visual and physical indicators, but I always use a thermometer for peace of mind, especially when cooking chicken. This ensures you never have to worry you’re serving something undercooked! I also reach for this in baking for various reasons. I have a candy thermometer as well but find this is great for measuring water temp out of the tap (i.e., when you need “warm” water to activate yeast and have no idea what “warm” should feel like).

4 // CHEF’S PRESS. These are presently sold out everywhere, but will be restocked in January, so keep your eyes peeled. Mr. Magpie has used these religiously for the past couple of years. The idea is that you apply these on top of a steak, chicken, etc for more even browning/searing in a pan — corners/edges/areas no longer curl up away from the pan. These are also great for griddled sandwiches and even tortillas! We have four of them. If you need additional heft, you can stack them on top of one another.

5 // OXO STRAWBERRY HULLER. If you are like Mr. Magpie, you have the patience and precision to individually hull strawberries nearly every day using a paring knife. If you are like me — a “pragmatic cook,” we’ll call it, rather euphemistically — you simply chop off the top third of the strawberry and chuck it in the garbage. Santa surprised me with this genius little huller in my stocking and we’ve been joking that it’s saved our family hundreds of dollars in discarded strawberry bits. You use the pointed edge of these tongs to insert into the berry, twist, and remove the stem/green bits without wasting much berry at all. Genius, and so easy to use!

6 // VOLLRATH QUARTER BAKING SHEETS. If you’ve been following me here for awhile, you’ll know I’ve used NordicPro baking sheets for a long time and have loved them. However, Mr. Magpie recently discovered Vollrath, and I think we will be swapping out nearly all of our sheets for this brand over time. These are even heavier duty and more reliable. I specifically encourage the quarter-sized sheet — our most used sheet pan size! — which is perfect for a handful of chicken nuggets for the littles, or a spray of walnuts for a baking project, or a couple of a baking potatoes.

7 // OXO CHERRY OR OLIVE PITTER. I have used this more than I could have ever anticipated. Prior to its purchase, I’d never have thought to include cherries in a salad, and I nearly always bought my olives pitted. This solves that problem for you. (And here is one of my favorite salads, featuring cherry, goat cheese, and bread!)

8 // RAMEKINS. The absolute best for tidy mise en place / cooking prep. Dice/chop all your ingredients and stow in these ramekins so that they are at-the-ready. We use these constantly. Bonus: they are microwave-safe, and can therefore be popped inside to soften butter, or to house hot liquids, etc.

9 // DUAL-SIDED MEASURING SPOONS. These are brilliantly designed. First, they nest inside one another magnetically, meaning that you’re never fishing around your implement drawer looking for the 1/4 tsp measure. It’s always right where you left it, hugging the 1/2 tsp measure. Second, I can’t tell you how often I need to measure two different herbs/spices/seasonings and instead of having to rinse out every time, you have two ends to use. Third, one end is wider and one end is narrower, meaning that it accommodates narrow spouts if you need them to.

10 // BENCH SCRAPER. Useful for so many reasons — great for dividing and scraping dough, but also helpful after dicing vegetables and needed to transfer them to a bowl or pan. A simple scoop with this leaves nothing on the cutting board behind.

11 // EMILE HENRY BUTTER POT. Americans are typically pretty squeamish about the potential for food spoilage and so we tend to keep butter in the fridge, unlike the French, who keep it at room temperature, in butter pots like this. We’ve recently adopted the French way and I don’t think we’ll ever look back. It is lovely to have room temperature, spreadable butter on hand at a moment’s notice, whether for toast in the morning or green beans in the evening. The secret to this particular design is a small pour of water in the basin, which you replace every 3-4 days. The water creates a seal around the lip of the butter dish that preserves it. Genius! This marble style operates similarly if you’re more into that look.

12 // LODGE HANDLE COVER. Really…handy (no pun intended) when you’ve gotten your skillet searing hot and then need to move it to a back burner. We also sometimes use this as a visual signal to one another: watch out! This pan is hot!

13 // HOMWE OVEN MITTS. Please retired your Williams-Sonoma mitts in favor of this less-expensive but far-superior pair. For reference, I feel like I was burning through the W-S ones every year or two, and you could never truly remove something from the oven for more than a second in them anyway. I bought our Homwe ones December 11, 2017 and they look good as new. The silicon tips protect hands far, far better and just hold up better in general. No brown mittens/holes! I pop these in the washing machine every few weeks (air dry afterward) and they’re spic and span.

14 // HEDLEY & BENNETT APRON. An apron is absolutely essential for a serious cook! This particular brand was dreamt up by a young cook who spent thousands (!) of hours finessing the details to make it the best possible apron, and it’s now used by tons of top-tier chefs (working in Michelin-starred restaurants!) I love her mantra: “Better gear can make you a better cook.”

P.S. Home gear I love.

P.P.S. All my favorite laundry day essentials.

P.P.P.S. Inspired by French kitchens, and the best French potato salad.

*Image via PJ Havel.

My Latest Snag: School Gear for Micro + Miscellany for Home.

I already shared some of my latest school gear finds for micro (who starts next week!), but the short list:

THIS LUNCHBOX IN RED WITH AN AIRPLANE MONOGRAM

THIS PENCIL BOX IN RED

THIS BACKPACK IN RED

POUCHES FOR SPARE/SOILED CLOTHES

FACE MASKS

NAME LABELS

CUP, PLATE, UTENSIL SET

YETI WATER BOTTLE

YUMBOX FOR SNACKS

I’ve been tackling some organization projects at home, so have been ordering pieces from this post, as well as a handful of other small household items I’ve been meaning to purchase for awhile now in anticipation of house guests in 2022: monogrammed hand towels, waste baskets, decorative pillows, and of course the new mattress! (More bedding/bedroom finds here.)

You’re Soooo Popular: Brights + Home Gear.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

12 PIECE MELAMINE DINING SET

HOT PINK BLAZER

STATEMENT SHORTS ON MEGA SALE

TRIAL SIZED DUO OF MY FAVORITE VITAMIN C OIL + A GREAT MOISTURIZER

CHIC, GLITZY FLATS

FAVORITE LS RUNNING TOP — SELECT COLORS ON SALE; SIZE UP

NEW GO-TO HOSTESS GIFT

ATTRACTIVE CLOSET STORAGE

COMBO QUILTED / TEDDY COAT (ON SALE FOR $122!)

DYSON DUPE

SWEATER PANTS

THE BEST $12 UPGRADE TO YOUR SKINCARE REGIMEN (TRUST ME!)

$60 PUFF SLEEVED TOP (COMES IN SEVERAL GREAT COLORS)

Weekend Musings: A Different You.

I came across this quote, apparently attributed to Leonardo DiCaprio (insert spectacle-wearing emoji), earlier this week:

“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

I thought this was an interesting take on both the demands and opportunities that come with progress and age. I wrote a few months back about how I scarcely remember Jen-in-her-20s, flying all over the place and giving presentations and working on some optimistic solutions for serious social problems pertaining to educational attainment. I think the quote above contextualizes my thoughts an interesting way: as you grow and take on new challenges (whether personal or professional or artistic or athletic), you field the often-uncomfortable push to change but also the opportunity to be born again. To be a different — hopefully better — version of yourself.

On a totally different note, the quote also reminded me of something Mr. Magpie told me in the early days of building our business together. He made the observation that what you do to earn your first customer will be different from what you do to earn your first ten customers. And that will be different from what you do to earn your first 100. And then your first 1000. And so on. This was absolutely dead-on-the-nose. A first customer might be born of a longtime personal relationship — someone willing to stick their neck out and try something because they know and love you. The first ten might be born of careful conversations with people in your network, and likely involves coupon codes and trials and hand-holding. But at 100? You’re looking at ads and conferences and marketing ploys that get you in front of 1000s of people. And at 1000, you’ve got to scale that up further: thought leadership that gets you in front of decision-makers, targeted ads, etc. And so on. I think of this often, in different contexts, even non-business ones. The basic takeaway for me is that growth is not a continuous churn of doing the same thing and getting the same output. You learn, change tack, try new things, retire what’s defunct. You become a new you along the way, exercising new muscles and wearing new hats. So, yes — every next level demands a new me.

Shopping Break.

+My girlfriend has this Gucci cardigan and I’m so envious. It’s a statement but subtle and can be worn with sooo many dresses in your closet. Sneakily wondering if I can squeeze into the size 12 in children’s and pay 1/3 the price?

+Santa brought the children these hatch-in-water toy turtles and they have been such a huge hit! You drop in cool water and they slowly emerge from their shell over 72 hours. The children have been enjoying checking on them.

+Totally swooned over this sweater.

+Perfect casual everyday pants to pair with statement knits.

+Testing a new conditioner on mini. We’ve been fans of Noodle + Boo forever but just thought I’d switch it up and I absolutely love this brand’s spray-on mineral sunscreen — the entire family uses it. The spray sunscreen is actually on sale at a good price right now, too, so I bought a few canisters now. (Come warm months, it’s always $21/bottle.)

+Gorgeous dress for a new mom at a Christening/Baptism. Stylish but not too flashy for Church.

+Barefoot-elopement-on-the-beach dreams. Or this.

+A fabulous scalloped fruit bowl for $30!

+Easy $25 LBD to have on hand for a last minute date night.

+Love this as an everyday tote in warm weather.

+This dress is gorgeous for a formal spring affair. Along the same lines, love this LSF maxi (on ridiculous sale!)

+This LSF mini (also on sale!) also just makes me smile. Love ALL THE BRIGHTS for 2022.

+Love this sherpa laptop pouch. Might just use it as a pouch, period — love tucking things like this into my everyday tote.

+These flats are fabulous. These are similar and about half the price — and y’all are in love with these!

+Just the chicest top ever ever ever. Also love this one. More great statement tops here.

+OMG THESE FLATS.

+Cute shower curtain.

+So many friends are still in waves of quarantine, isolation, exposure, etc!! UGH! Hang in there. I have been sending this doodle mat or these matchbox cars bundled with this playtape set to friends in those situations with small children at home. (More thoughts on parenting in isolation/quarantine here.)

+Love this collared sweatshirt.

+Into this crisp, sophisticated top — under $35!

+The Avenue has a great Christmas sale section — I am thinking I will order a few of these to give away Christmas treats on next year, and this gorgeous cardi is finally on sale!

Today, sharing a few favorite children’s books in our house at the moment. I’m omitting the Little Blue Truck series, which I read at lease once a day and cannot recommend for your sanity. (Who else can recite the majority of these books?)

+Jon Agee’s The Wall in the Middle of the Book. This is actually a fairly sophisticated metafictional piece that introduces the concept of narrative structure, suspense, climax, denouement, etc in simple language and illustration that children enjoy. It’s also quite silly, as most of Agee’s books are — mini smiles while reading this book every single time. Mini also loves his book The Other Side of Town, which makes us both laugh out loud — very clever and very silly, and it takes place in NYC, which tickles us.

+Audrey Wood’s Quick as a Cricket. I feel as though this is one of the most important books on our bookshelf, especially for my daughter. It’s basic premise: we contain multitudes. We can be “tough as a rhino” and also “gentle as a lamb,” “tame as a poodle” and “wild as a chimp.” The book suggests that we can be many things, and that all of those things are valid. J’adore, j’adore. The basic premise of my recent “Ampersands” post.

+Suzanne Lang’s Grumpy Monkey. Honestly, sometimes I need to read this book. It’s about being in a bad mood, being told to “smile and cheer up,” and realizing that sometimes you just need to be grumpy! This is a fantastic book to complement conversations you might be having at home about working through confusing/conflicting emotions.

+Jonathan Fenske’s Plankton Is Pushy. My children find this book howlingly funny. It reminds me in tone of Mo Willems’ Don’t Let the Pigeons series — animated, cartoonishly silly/frustrated, etc. Light, quick read perfect for when you’re feeling like a dramatic performance read with over-the-top voices.

+Emma Chichester Clark’s Love Is My Favorite Thing. A book all about unconditional love, even when dogs (ahem, children) choose to be naughty.

+Joseph Kuefler’s The Digger and The Flower. I think I broke a record with this one — I read this for about two months of consecutive bedtimes with micro. Maybe even longer, actually. Micro absolutely adores this book. The basic premise is that a digger discovers a flower on the build site, tends to it, and then is shattered when it’s cut down. He takes the seeds and plants them elsewhere, where he tends to them for the long haul. It is the sweetest book — I like the way it thwarts expectations (i.e., a loving digger!), reminds us to care for mother earth, and invites children to emote around these sad and then joyful happenings.

+Madelyn Rosenberg’s The Cyclops of Central Park. I’ve written about this a ton (maybe even in a past book roundup), but this is the loveliest book about balancing love of home with love of adventure. It’s also beautifully illustrated and set in NYC, which is fun for those of us who have lived there. There are some great lines — “He thought he spied the missing sheep in SoHo — and again at the Guggenheim. But his eye was playing tricks on him. “Eugene?” “No. It’s a De Kooning.”” (Yes!!!)

+Audrey and Don Wood’s The Napping House. A total classic — my mother read this book to me as a child, too, and I find the illustrations ultra-comforting for that reason. It has a nice rhythm and sequencing to it.

What about you? Any other home runs? We’ve been tearing through new books recently between our nearby library and then a book haul on Christmas morning but none of them have been quite as sticky as the ones above. Please share any favorites in your homes!

P.S. More children’s bedtime books I love and thoughts on raising a child of books.

P.P.S. What are your bedtime routines?

P.P.P.S. My everyday skincare and makeup regimen.

I’ve gone back and forth on the subject of new year’s resolutions over the years. On the one hand, I’m a big believer in putting things out there, on paper, if only to clarify aspirations and translate them into actionable items. (I also think there is something to the notion of “manifesting” goals by focusing on desired outcomes, though not in all cases or circumstances.) I worked in three different start-up settings and found that one of the biggest levers for progress in the early days of any new enterprise is being disciplined around 30- and 90-day plans in particular. Anything longer in scope lacks the granularity you need to feel as though you are making material progress, especially when your work load looks so different on a day-to-day basis (i.e.,: I might be setting up SquareSpace for a simple website one day, presenting to an investor the next, and working through wireframes with a designer on the third). And without the structure of a 30 or 60 or 90 day plan to remind me of the slightly broader brushstrokes at hand — God help me! So, I do feel sitting down and putting pen to paper when it comes to goals is critical.

However —

We have all been living with tremendous stress, with plans and normalcies upended and guidelines and timelines constantly changing. It is strenuous living with so many unknowns. In this context, I am reminded of the quote: “Pressure is a choice.” Do I feel now is the best time to choose to set new goals for myself? Will they be another thing to juggle and possibly feel badly about if unmet? Is now the time to opt in?

On the flip side: we are living through tough times, but we are still living our only wild and precious lives. This is not a dress rehearsal, or an ante-room, or a holding space. I am flustered at the thought of deferring meaningful personal goals because of the pandemic and then regretting those postponements later. Maybe now is the time. I am in turn reminded of the quote: “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

Where do I go with this thought train of mismatched cars? Is there a middle ground? Something between goals and inertia?

I have tried to set themes in years past — “grace” being my favorite — and I like the gentleness of this approach. It provides a north star when thinking through situations or reflecting. However, it can only offer suffused light — not the series of path torches on which I occasionally want to lean. I think, instead, this year I will set goals and then scale them back. Instead of: “run every other day,” I’ll choose “run twice a week.” Instead of: “two books a month,” I’ll choose: “Always be in the middle of reading a book.” (Who cares about the pace? Just have a book at the ready, downloaded and inviting.) Maybe 2022 is about lowering expectations and grading on a curve.

Where do you land on the subject? Does anyone have a novel approach to resolution-writing?

Post-Scripts.

+I did write resolutions last year. I did well on 3 and 4, completely fell apart on 1 and 2, and give myself middling marks on 5.

+What did you learn last year? I need to reflect on this prompt myself. Here were some learnings the last go around (in 2019). A good “learning” vintage.

+”The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” (Do you agree?)

+Remembrances of my grandad.

+To the athlete at the start line.

+How do you start your day?

Shopping Break.

+This ridiculously stunning dress is my top contender for my sister’s deferred wedding celebration, scheduled for this spring. My mom may not approve of the cutouts but gosh isn’t it gorgeous?! (More spectacular wedding guest dresses here.)

+Ordered this adorable $15 gingham bolster pillow for mini. OMG how cute?! Wish it weren’t sold out in blue or I’d buy that one for micro’s room, too! Also available in a fun oversized floor pillow size for a reading nook.

+Fun, Celine-esque crossbody in an unexpected color. Also comes in neutral colors that may be more versatile. Love how non-flashy it is — no labels — but the shape is tres chic.

+Stocked up on Hanky Panky for 40% off here in two non-hideous colors: desert rose and shng armor.

+The sherpa vest I’ve been wearing all season (generously gifted from Talbots!) just went on sale, plus an extra 40% off, bringing the price down to like $80. Great way to get the Tuckernuck look for less. I have been surprised by how much I wear this — it’s dressier than a puffer and layers nicely over knits, but not as fussy as a faux fur. I wear it on walks, throw it on over striped Kule tees and knits at home, etc. True MVP!

+Love these cheery scalloped salad plates. Come in several colors!

+So many chic Parisian women wear these Levi’s in this color. For inspo, check out Leasy in Paris.

+Adore this statement sweatshirt. I have a similar one in black I love.

+My other favorite sweatshirt: this Kule. I wear it constantly. Perfectly proportioned and a nice thin-but-not-too-thin weight.

+These shorts are a classic and come in such great colors this season.

+Just ordered a couple of these inexpensive, classic monogrammed kitchen/guest bath towels. We will be having house guests in the new year and I am finally getting around to adding some minor touches I’ve deferred for a long, long time. I also needed a few waste baskets that we’ve gone too long without — bought one of these for the upstairs!

+Coveting these unusual (and unusually chic) shades.

+Sweet necklace for us mamas.

+Have been wearing my Alo tube socks a lot while working out lately. I own in multiple colors. Nice and thick and the colors are so fabulous. I like to pull up over black leggings for a throwback Fitness Barbie vibe.

+Love this lidded bin as a way to conceal toilet paper or truly anything (trash bags! tampons! etc!) in a guest bathroom / powder bath room. Matching trash bin available.

+Banana’s collab with Harbison yielded some truly gorgeous pieces — this one could be La Ligne!

+If you have it in you, now is a great time to buy discounted Christmas/holiday gear for next year. Crate and Barrel has a ton of fabulous stuff at 50% off, including these stocking holders, this tree collar, and these glitter fronds to tuck into a tree or arrange in a vase or on a mantel.

+Not sure if we will be continuing ballet this upcoming semester for mini — I think we will try a different extracurricular (currently searching for an art class for her age — 4, almost 5 — if any locals have recs), but this under-$20 leotard/tutu combo was a must-order. She will love! Mini has owned 2 or 3 of these more expensive ones from I Love Plum over the years and they are adorable and have a nice amount of dramatic tulle to them, but Tilly (our airedale) destroyed two of them!!!

+Incredibly sad I missed out on these shoes in mini’s size.

+I feel like a Nancy Meyers protagonist should be seen wearing this $29 turtleneck.

Yesterday, I was helping a Magpie find a suitable, bump-friendly spring wedding guest dress. I shared all my top picks here* (none of them are maternity — would work with bump, or without! — and I think she is buying this one!), but in the course of research, learned that SEA has marked down a ton of fabulous pieces, plus is offering an extra 15% off sale prices with code SALE21. This means you can score this gorgeous floral maxi, originally almost $500, for $168. That’s right — Anthro prices for designer duds. Pretty good! A few other pieces not to miss from the sale…

SUCH A FUN FLEECE (SEEN ABOVE)

I LIVE IN THESE KINDS OF DRESSES (ALSO THIS)…SORT OF THE MODERN DAY HOUSE DRESS! NON-CONSTRICTING, MODEST IN LENGTH, AND SO EASY TO THROW ON AND PUTZ AROUND THE HOUSE IN

THIS FUNKY SHEEP SWEATER IS IN MY CART…SO FUN! ALSO LOVE THIS EMBROIDERED FRUIT ONE

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH WHITE/ECRU DRESSES, AND THIS ONE IS SO ROMANTIC, AND ONLY $150 WITH CODE

*I should note most of my bump-friendly picks skew towards second trimester bumps as unfortunately I think once you get up to the 8 and 9 month range, you just have to suck it up and go with a proper maternity dress.

On the subject of fun dresses, I had been planning to throw a decent sized party for Mr. Magpie’s 40th (!) birthday this January, but in the shadow of omicron, felt that wasn’t right. We’ll be scaling down and having just a handful of his closest buddies instead, which — frankly — feels perfect, because he doesn’t see them as often any more and I know he’ll have a blast. Still, the occasion calls for something daringly festive, and I don’t care if it’s the dead of winter. My dream pick is this Borgo de Nor, but I also love (!) this Celia B, this Fanm Mom, this Alemais, or — entirely different direction — this feather-trim mini. Fun!

P.S. Thoughts on my sister’s wedding, in the era of COVID.

P.P.S. Bridal finds and more wedding guest dress options.

P.P.P.S. The most popular items on my blog this year.

I was reflecting the other day on friendships new and old, and wondering whether I have been doing my best at nurturing the relationships that matter most to me. Since leaving New York, I have been focused on building out my network here in the D.C. area: rekindling old friendships, getting to know my neighbors (especially the ones with young children), spending quality time with local family, and integrating my children and I into the communities at their school and assorted extracurriculars. This has necessarily meant less time for my New York friends, and Chicago friends, and select UVA friends who did not settle in the D.C. area. When Mr. Magpie tested positive for COVID and went into isolation, I initially leant most heavily on my immediate, local network — neighbors who generously dropped off puzzles and meals, local friends with young children with whom I was already in frequent, vibrant text exchanges and who generously commiserated and checked on me, and my parents and in-laws, who dropped by with deliveries of wine and fruit and diversions for the children. But within days, my longtime friends — my UVA girls, my New York crew — were coming to my aid, too. “OMG” was the prominent message, followed by “Hang in there” and often an Amazon delivery with a surprise for the children. (Now, less than a month later, no one at all would be shocked — I feel nearly all of us have had some permutation of isolation and quarantine in our households. But at the time, in late November, it felt out of the blue, after two years of avoiding the damn thing.)

Two days after Mr. Magpie came out of isolation, just after we’d restarted quarantine because micro had tested positive, he asked me: “How did you do this by yourself?” But the truth was — I hadn’t. I’d been totally carried by friendship and micro-maneuvers recommended by friends that enabled me to give myself the grace I needed to make it through.

I sat down one afternoon and wrote thank you notes to the flock of friends who had lifted me during those eighteen long days at home. There were notes to girlfriends who shared cheap apartments and decrepit houses with me in Charlottesville, Virginia right alongside notes to neighbors who have sat with me on the cul de sac in front of my suburban home watching our young children scoot and bike and chase one another over the past six months. Notes to friends who have seen me at my absolute worst — crying in fraternity bathrooms over unimportant things — and notes to friends who have seen only the surface of me, the filtered version we all present when making acquaintances. To the latter, I might be Jen-whose-children-wear-bows-and-jon-jons or Jen-who-likes-to-give-out-holiday-treats-with-personalized-tags or, I hope, Jen-who-lent-me-something-when-I-needed-it. These are tender-footed relationships that might slowly bronze into longtime friendships that involve vacationing together and sitting on the porch talking into the cicada song and sticky heat of D.C. at night, or that might trickle into occasional run-ins at birthday parties and friendly waves while running through the neighborhood. It is hard to know how to mete out the appropriate amount of energy when I am blessed by friends who have already traveled so far with me, who have given me sidelong looks, and enormous, silent hugs, and sometimes a squeeze of the hand when I have needed those things and God! Aren’t we lucky to have girlfriends?! To lend us tissues and “going out tops” and shoulders to cry on and covers to borrow and snarky memes when we need them and eye rolls at the idiocies of ex-boyfriends when we need those, too, and big, long pockets of silence into which to pour our hearts.

I think sometimes those intimacies will be hard to find in new relationships. I have such deep roots and long-tailed, shared histories with my older friends and so I feel it is natural and comfortable to turn to them without worrying about how I might be “coming off” to a newer acquaintance. And yet — so interesting the way proximity has played into the way I spend my friendship time these days. Pre-omicron, I was having coffee dates and lunches and dinners with newer or rekindled friendships, and often those stretches absorbed the time I might otherwise dedicate to calling or emailing or texting girlfriends to catch up. It has been thrilling to connect with new women in a similar life stage with similar points of reference but who come from all different backgrounds and histories and points of view — to bond, to exclaim, to commiserate, to see myself anew. At the same time, it has occasionally felt as though I am cheating my longtime friends of my friendship. And it is strange, too, that my ring of newer friends and especially my neighbors tend to know more about what’s happening with us than my close, longtime friends, simply by virtue of logistics — i.e., we had to alert our local friends to the possibility of exposure to COVID, and to explain why our children couldn’t play with theirs or why were absent from various functions, and so on.

How do you balance these forces? How do you honor the friends that have been there while staying open to the good fortune of meeting good people in your 30s and 40s? How much of yourself do you keep open? How much do you reserve? I am such an enormous believer in providence that I feel many of the people that appear in my life are there for a reason, and I owe them my attention. As an example, I have spent some time with a childhood friend of my brother’s and he has for various coincidental reasons brought my deceased girlfriend Elizabeth back into my life in a meaningful way. I am profoundly grateful for that path-crossing. I cannot help but feel God’s hand in it.

As with many of these queries, the answer is probably fluid. We might devise some rubrics to help — i.e., who do I feel my best around? — but we might give more of ourselves to new friends today and more to our old ones tomorrow, and that’s OK.

Post-Scripts.

+On female friendships and the things that matter.

+Hosting girlfriends at home.

+The art of the handwritten note.

+On recognizing the effort.

+Building friendships through motherhood.

+I miss my girlfriend Elizabeth so much.

+Attention is a form of love.

Shopping Break.

+This $36 feather-trim robe is beyond fabulous. Zsa Zsa Gabor vibes.

+This colorblocked puffer is SO chic — be the most fun mom in the school pick-up line. The color palette reminds me of these amazing NBs.

+FUN, dramatic date night top in the black. Prefer it tucked in so it’s not too voluminous.

+This popular striped midi dress is now on sale for under $160. Love! Would look great with suede boots.

+Have seen these DL1961 jeans on a lot of chic people lately. Also come in a great ecru color for a winter white moment.

+I went back for a second helping of J. Crew sale finds for little ones (round one here) and bought micro some more everyday clothes. He starts school (!) next week and was feeling like we needed some extra clothes to send him into school with (see aforementioned toilet training) and some fresh duds in general since he’s suddenly way too tall for his size 2 wardrobe. I bought a couple of these tees and henleys (around $11 with code BIGSALE), these lined dock pants, and these sweats in the gray to pair with his rugby shirts and LS polos.

+Also bought him another rugby, some cord joggers, and a few pairs of socks at J&J while on sale!

+These weathertight bins are the absolute best — we have them in all different shapes and sizes — but I found them at a great deal for a pack of 6. These can be used in basements, garages, etc, as they seal closed and keep things dry and secure. I mainly use mine for things like holiday decorations, tabletop, ribbons/bows, etc.

+Such a great idea for a young man or lady — a daily gratitude journal calibrated to children under 10.

+Ridiculously chic Veronica Beard finds for 40% off — yes pls and yes pretty pls.

+Scalloped rash guard if you’re lucky enough to be packing for a winter getaway. More finds along these lines here.

+Even though I’m going nowhere, I keep finding myself drawn to warm weather clothes: this dress, these sandals.

+I’ve written about this elsewhere, but these bandaids are not only cute but really adhesive. Great for little ones, since they actually stay put!

+Gorgeous jeweled cardigan at a fab price.

+Everyone’s favorite fleece in the prettiest shade of ice blue.

+Handful of classic Hunter boots for littles on sale here.

+Zimmermann on sale, and an extra 25% off with code EXTRA25.

+A step stool for those of us in the throes of toilet training.

+These swan statement earrings are beyond amazing —

+As is this anorak. Wow.

+Getting better about sharing all my latest finds here, in one stream.

*Image above featuring micro’s new backpack and the flag we’ve used for first and last days of school these past few years, whose colors you can customize!

I’ve been doing some shopping — mainly for micro — the past few weeks, as we move through toilet training and prepare for school next week. I cannot believe we are here. Some parenting moments unexpectedly take the wind out of me. When I took micro for a visit day at his new school in November, I retreated to my car and wept over the steering wheel. It was the strangest sensation, as I had not felt it brewing in the least. I’d been shades of chipper and all-business the entirety of the morning, and then I closed the door of my car and burst into uncontrollable tears. I drove down to Furst Bakery on Connecticut Avenue immediately afterward in a paroxysm of emotion and at some point caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror and burst into simultaneous laughter. I mean, really! What a nut! It wasn’t even the true first day of school — I still had a month of his voice chirping around the house all day long to cherish. (And boy did I get what I wished for — a string of eighteen days in his constant presence, followed by the chaos of Christmas and the no-man’s-land that is the week before the new year.) But motherhood is like that, I find: the tiniest tug might lever the most enormous lurch of the heart. Sort of like fishing, I think: a little nibble, you reel, and you might find a whale at the other end of the line.

Anyhow, I’ll be weepy all week. I struggle with these transitions, which I presume to be a normal condition of motherhood. But we will make it to the other end, whale in tow and all.

Below, some of the fruits of my shopping….

childrens finds winter 2021-2022

SPARKLY HAIR CLIPS

PUFFER JACKET

WEE ONES BOW — BEST COLOR…SORT OF A GRAY-LAVENDER-TAUPE-MAUVE

GOLDEN GOOSE SNEAKERS

PERSONALIZED PENCIL BOXES

CONDIMENT MINI SQUEEZE BOTTLES

THESE RIBBED DRESSES ARE ON SALE FOR ONLY $14 — COME IN MORE COLORS, TOO

FRILLY SOCKS

BEACH OR SNOW (!!) PAIL AND MOLD SET

LS LACOSTE POLO

NAME LABELS

VANS HI-TOPS (SUCH A GOOD BLUE!)

TODDLER BOY UNDIES

STEP STOOL

ART STORAGE PORTFOLIOS

YUMBOX MINI – PERFECT FOR PACKING SNACKS! I USUALLY DO FRUIT ON ONE SIDE AND SOMETHING CRUNCHY ON THE OTHER (GRANOLA BALLS, PRETZELS, GOLDFISH)

$15 FLEECE

VELCRO SUPERGAS

PARAVEL BACKPACK

BASEBALL KEYCHAIN

P.S. More cute children’s finds here, and in case your little one is a dino fiend.

P.P.S. Layette finds here.

P.P.P.S. Was overwhelmed by the solidarity of moms sharing the same feelings in response to this post. Thank you! None of us are alone!

*Image above via Dylan Parienty…whoever did her makeup needs an award! Love!

I’m back with more candid reviews of hyped beauty products today!

+Chantecaille Faux Cils Longest Lash Mascara. I went into this product thinking — “for $72, this mascara better change my life.” Unfortunately, it did not live up to the heavy hype for me. It does deliver a gorgeous, long lash but I found it flaked easily and left me with a little ring of black under my eyes more often than not. One day while testing this product, I used my Giorgio Armani mascara on one eye and Chantecaille on the other and frankly they delivered similar results in terms of lash lengthening, separation, etc, but my Armani did not smear/flake/etc. I say you can save your money and skip this one! I still think Armani makes the best mascara of all time, and you can get it on sale here.

+dpHue Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse. Per the site: “This shampoo substitute will gently cleanse and remove impurities without stripping the natural oils that are essential to the health of your scalp and hair.” ACV is supposed to be excellent for hair strength and luster — something to do with balancing the scalp’s pH — and is safe (encouraged!) for color-treated hair. My mom and I tested the rinse separately and then compared notes. We both agreed the applicator is kind of difficult to get the hang of – you can’t really tell how much you’re applying and I could never tell whether I’d adequately coated all my hair/scalp with it since it doesn’t “suds” up, you’re applying in a little stream, and your hair is already wet. Over time, I realized you have to apply quite a bit of this product to your hair — I swear I use almost 1/8th or 1/10th of a bottle per treatment? — to get the full effect, or at least it felt that way to me. For that reason, I went from applying every few days to every week or every other week so that it’s not quite such an expensive treatment. I love (!) how my hair and scalp feel after applying — clean, cool, thoroughly cleansed. My hair absolutely looks shinier and happier afterward. I do feel that my hair looks dirtier more quickly after using, though — I usually wash my hair every 2-3 days and my hair still looks great up until the moment I do so. With this, I am dying to wash my hair by the second day. I’m not sure if that means I need to use this for longer so my scalp adjusts? I’m not sure. For now, I think I’ll continue to use until I’ve finished my rinse bottle and then evaluate whether I miss it after not having it for a few weeks. This may also be the kind of thing I buy and use once a month when I feel my hair looks dull. I would say it’s great if you’re having a case of the blahs with your hair but not sure it’s worth the expense for regular use.

+dpHue Apple Cider Vinegar Leave-In Therapy. I absolutely love this stuff (!). I find it more effective than the rinse, and a far better value at that, though I suppose they do very different things. This therapy is a primer you spritz on your hair after showering. I swear my hair has never been softer, more detangled, or more lustrous — I swear it gives me Veronica Lake hair, i.e., shiny with a kind of halo effect? It’s incredible! My mother did not have as strong of a positive reaction to this as I did, so it could just be well-suited to my hair type (I have fine, straight hair but a lot of it). The site claims it speeds up drying time. Not sure about that claim — I’m more impressed with the way it coats the hair to detangle, shine, and give a great hand-feel. I’m in love love love.

+Follain Hydrating Mask. This is a solid mask for dry skin. I find I reach for my other masks first, mainly because I usually want to a use masks to brighten, clear, revive my skin versus hydrate it, but when my skin has been feeling tight/dry from the cold winter air, I apply this at night and sleep in it and sometimes even use it a sub for a daily moisturizer if really in need. It’s scent-less, gentle, and has a nice lightweight viscosity to it. I liked it for what it was but it’s not the kind of thing I’ll be sending to all my girlfriends in a flurry of excitement. (Clarins’ mask, on the other hand…AHHH! Holy grail. Clarins generously sent me a gift box in December and I usually try to give away any cosmetics/skincare I already have to sisters/friends/my nanny but I absolutely, selfishly kept everything in the box, including this mask and HRH The Double Serum, because I use them myself religiously.)

+Clarins Total Eye Lift. In that Clarins box, I also received their new eye lift cream. Unfortunately, the search for an eye cream that does anything but hydrate continues…! I mean, hydration in the eye area is critical, and I do notice I look more tired when I skip that step (plus, eye makeup/undereye concealer does not go on as well) — and Clarins’ eye lift does moisturize the area beautifully. It has a nice formula that blends well, and I like the applicator — a tiny pump delivers just the right amount. (Can we all agree that applicators/bottles can totally change/improve/destroy your opinion of a product?) But for $90? I would frankly go back to my $30 Olay pot, which achieves a similar effect. I do think Olay is a bit greasier/harder to absorb than some of the eye creams/treatments from prestige skincare brands, but not sure that a difference in grease level is worth 3x the price.

+Billie Lip Balm. I threw this on to my latest Billie order (I have a subscription for their razor blades and their vitamin c wipes — and adore and strongly rec both) and would say it’s a decent, inexpensive, tinted balm to keep in your purse. I’d liken it to Fresh’s Sugar Rose Balm, but less than half the price. I like the way it feels going on (velvety soft) and the tiny bit of color it applies to my lips, but I don’t think it solves chapped lips in any meaningful way. But really does any lip balm really work for more than maybe an hour? (I read somewhere that we don’t really need lip balm and that it just tampers with your natural ability to moisturize your own lips? I don’t know.)

+Biossance Vitamin C Oil. I’ve written about this in dribs and drabs in other posts, but wanted to include it here for reference/ease of access in case you’re looking for it in the future. I love (!!) this product. I am obsessed with Vitamin C for skin — I swear it has been the key to unlocking brighter skin for me over the past year or two. I have had great results with almost every vitamin C product I’ve used, but I’ve been on the hunt for ages for one with a great application/formula. I’ve had ones that feel a bit sticky, ones that feel runny, ones that smell weird, etc. This is far and away my favorite formula I’ve tried to date. This is an oil, not a serum. That startled me at first, but I’ve come to absolutely love it, especially in the winter, when I find it doubles as a hydrating skincare layer. I apply this directly to cleansed skin, applying a drop or two to my forehead and a drop on each cheek, and then blending thoroughly with my hands. Oh joy! My skin looks immediately so much brighter and happier and illuminated! Unlike other oils, this absorbs fairly quickly and has a nice, light weight. (It’s not dense like olive oil or something.) I have found that a bottle of this stuff is lasting me forever and I use it daily! I found that I ran through other brands (especially Ole Henriksen) so much more quickly. All in, a solid value, a great formula, and incredible results. Very strong praise for this product. I noticed that Biossance is selling a special value mini kit where you can try their oil and their popular moisturizer in mini sizes for $25. A good way to evaluate whether the oil will work for you and also test another product!

+French Girl Rose Lip Scrub. Can’t remember if I’ve reviewed this but just rediscovered this when sorting through my cosmetics the other day. I would say this is neck and neck with sara happ’s formula — you can’t go wrong with either, but you need one. This is the antidote to red wine lips — ugh! I use this to scrub off red wine residue at the end of the night and then slather with Elizabeth Arden 8-Hour cream, and I also use this before a big night out when I want to apply lip color. Simply a MUST for winter lips. Either brand is great! I perhaps slightly prefer the sweeter/fruitier flavors Sara Happ has (kind of weird to taste rose?) but truly both are excellent.

+Slip Hair Ties. I wrote about this yesterday and I know this must sound so frivolous, but — seriously, where have these been my whole life? I am…strangely infatuated with these. I find them so much easier to use to tie my hair back with than standard Goody’s (easier to stretch, no risk of having them snap on your fingers) and they actually hold hair in place and leave no crease. Great for washing hair before bed/throwing hair up while putting on a mask. I seriously…! I love these!? Treat yourself!

+Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray. If I let my hair air-dry over night (my favorite indulgence: going to bed with wet hair), I curl it into loose waves in the morning and set with this texturizing spray. It smells like heaven and holds hair in place, but never makes it crispy/crunchy. Frankly, though, I think this is just about the same as Ouai’s spray in terms of results, but Ouai’s formula is about half the price, so would start there.

A couple of beauty products I’ve purchased/plan to purchase to review over the next few months…

+slopehill hair dryer — people claim this is the best Dyson dupe on the market.

+Le Prunier Plum Beauty Oil — I need another step in my skincare regimen like I need a hole in my head (and I already apply an oil and a serum in the morning!) but I keep hearing fantastic things about this oil, which “brightens, balances, and restores skin while locking in moisture for a soft, youthful glow.” Also, Chrissy Tiegen uses it.

+K-18 Molecular Hair Mask — if Courtney Grow’s enthusiasm on this matter is to be trusted (and she’s not yet led me astray on the beauty product discovery front — still deeply grateful to her for introducing me to this oil cleanser, which I use every morning and will never quit), this mask is the bees knees for anyone with color-treated (especially bleached) hair.

Last but not least, two inexpensive products I now buy on subscribe & save using Prime (i.e., I love them so much and know how frequently I go through them, so I don’t even want to think about having to order): Differin (a retinoid — I use this every other night before bed and think this has also been a key to brighter, clearer skin) and Nyx’s eyeliner. I actually wear eyeliner most days — just a tiny thin swipe along my upper lashes to help define the eye a bit. I rarely wear color on my lids or lips on a daily basis but I do like a defined eye. I slick on Nyx (so easy to apply with the pen-like applicator) and apply a few coats of mascara! I’m never ever without mascara!

P.S. More honest beauty reviews here, here, and here.

P.P.S. Are you a candle or a mirror?

P.P.P.S. What would you study if you were going back to school tomorrow?

*Image above via J. Crew.

I don’t know if it’s just the need for something cheerful to look at or what, but I have been mainly drawn to bright colors at the moment — not only hot pink but chartreuse and kelly green and cobalt blue, too. Colors just shy of neon. Three items currently at the top of my shopping list: these gorgeous Missoni pants to wear as the weather starts to turn (imagine with a simple white tee or my favorite silk blend mockneck); this punchy $130 Hermes-inspired bag; and this hot pink sweater dress, selling fast and currently on sale for under $80.

Below, even more punchy favorite finds in this vein:

bright clothing trend 2022

HUNTER BELL TOP // GUCCI SCARF // EVERLANE SOCKS // MADEWELL BEANIE // J CREW MOCKNECK // $30 CHARTREUSE SWEATER // THESE MISSONI PANTS ARE IN MY CART // MINI KELLY-STYLE BAG ($130!) // GUCCI SCARF // BORGO DE NOR DRESS // RACHEL COMEY JUMPSUIT // KATE SPADE FLATS // LOVESHACKFANCY FAIR ISLE // GUCCI SNEAKERS

Shop these and other BRIGHT finds for 2022 below:

P.S. At the opposite end of the spectrum…

P.P.S. Recent Target finds.

P.P.P.S. Prayer by name.

*Image above via Ariel Okin featuring my beloved desk chair ($319!).

Many of you are now staring at an indefinite or permanent work-from-home arrangement, and now might be a good time to update your work setting. I always like the feeling of “turning over a new leaf” in the new year — clearing my desk, emptying my drawers, etc. For a long time, it was difficult to find a desk anywhere because we were all scrambling to accommodate work-from-home, but now, there are many great, petite-sized options on offer that will ship in a reasonable amount of time. All of these are $600 or under:

I LOVE THIS UNFUSSY, MODERN-BUT-FEMININE STYLE FROM PB

ALSO LOVE THIS LACQUERED FIND

THIS FARMHOUSE STYLE IS ACCOMMODATINGLY SMALL TO TUCK AWAY IN A BEDROOM CORNER, AND TEMPORARILY ON SALE!

BARGAIN BUY: $250, TINY, AND SCANDI-CHIC

TRADITIONAL AND BEAUTIFUL

LOVE THE BAMBOO-LIKE LEGS AND WARM CARAMEL COLOR

Next up: a proper desk chair. I absolutely love my $319 style, available for shipping in early January. I have it in the saddle brown and I swear it looks like it could cost north of $1,000. (Ralph Lauren’s Manhattan headquarters vibes.). It is insanely comfortable…and did I mention $319? I think it might be the best-looking option out there if you’re in the market. I spent a lot of time searching and thank you again to the Magpie for the tip of hat on this!

A few other great finds:

WORK FROM HOME OFFICE SUPPLIES

SEAGRASS SORTING BASKET // PAGE MARKER FLAGS // MOUSE PAD // WEEKLY PLANNING PAD // CANDLE // LAMP // BOXES // MAGSAFE CHARGER // BOOK SET // LETTER TRAYS // HERRINGBONE RUG // DESK // BRUSHPOT // PASTEL ENVELOPES // AIR PODS CASE // GORGEOUS AGENDA WITH PEN // FILING CABINET // PASTEL PENS // CHAIR // WALLPAPER

These and even more options (plus notes) below…

FILING CABINET THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A FILING CABINET — ALSO LOVE THIS RATTAN ONE FOR $100

FILE BOXES — I HAVE THESE; THEY LOOK NICE AND TIDY LINED UP IN A ROW AND HAVE A FABRIC-LIKE FINISH

CATCH-ALL STORAGE BOXES (NARROWER SIZES HERE)

BRASS LETTER KEEPER AND LETTER OPENER

BRUSHPOT” — CHEERY AND PERFECT FOR HOUSING A FRESH BOUQUET OF PENS

ROLLING CART

WEEKLY PLANNING PAD

LETTER TRAYS

WASTEBIN

MAGSAFE CHARGER

ACRYLIC MAGAZINE FILE

SEAGRASS SORTING BASKET (CAN BE USED FOR RECYCLING PAPER, ETC)

GORGEOUS TABLE LAMP LIKE THIS OR THIS

ELEGANT NOTEBOOKS FROM SYMTHSON (30% OFF) OR LEUCHTTERM

GORGEOUS AGENDA WITH PEN

GRIDDED NOTEPAD — GREAT FOR LEFTIES (NO SPIRAL/SPINE TO CONTEND WITH)…AND HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN NOTES ON GRIDDED PAPER?! IT’S THE BEST! EASIER TO KEEP TIDY AND FUN TO DOODLE ON

KEEP MISC OFFICE SUPPLIES SORTED IN THESE BINS AND CORDS ORGANIZED IN THESE POUCHES

PASTEL ENVELOPES — I LOVE THESE FOR KEEPING DIFFERENT PROJECTS/RECEIPTS/APPLICATIONS/MATERIALS ORGANIZED SEPARATELY IN STACKS

HOTEL LOBBY CANDLE — THESE WERE JUST RESTOCKED IN ALL THEIR BEST-SELLING SCENTS!

BLUE LIGHT GLASSES

GORGEOUS DECORATIVE BOOK SET

HERRINGBONE RUG — GORGEOUS NEUTRAL

MONITOR STAND

MOUSE PAD

AIR PODS CASE

WATER BOTTLE

PERSONALIZED NOTEPADS

PAGE MARKER FLAGS

LEATHER MAGAZINE RACK (OR ACRYLIC!)

STAMP DISPENSER

P.S. Creating a portable WFH setup.

P.P.S. Do you consider yourself creative?

P.P.P.S. The dotted lines between work and personal life.

So many great sales going on at the moment. My best find so far was my favorite pair of running shoes, marked down, plus an extra 30% off automatically applied at checkout. If you have tiny feet like me, you are in luck, as they have a few left in a 5.5. I also found these shoes discounted (not quite as deeply) in more sizes here and here. I tried Hokas earlier this year but found them heavier/clunkier than the Nikes so went back to the ones I love most. If you are a serious/regular runner, I know you are supposed to go to a store to be properly fitted (a task I still have yet to undertake), but these Nikes just do it for me. They are so lightweight — I barely notice I’m wearing shoes when I have them on — but are more cushioned than other similar styles. Very excited to have found a fresh pair in basic black for under $90.

While on the fitness track, I also bought myself another Swiftly Tech top and one of these pima cotton singlets (only $19!), both marked down at Lululemon. These are great basics and I feel the pieces from this brand last an eternity. I would size up in these, as with nearly all of their clothes. I am regularly a size 0 in other brands but size up to a 2 or 4 at Lululemon. Life is too short for too-tight fitness clothes.

Two other fitness finds for a bargain: this Nike essential running windbreaker (extra 30% off in cart, meaning only $50), which is very tempting to me. I currently use and love my Marmot Precip (<<on sale in select colors here), which is a fantastic utility jacket whether hiking, exercising, traveling, etc — but I do think the back pocket on the Nike one would be helpful and I wonder if the Nike is a tiny bit more breathable? The Marmot has side vents you can open, which are handy, but it can get VERY sweaty in there. Last but not least, this longline sports bra from Spanx (40% off) turned my head. I really love the length of my Beyond Yoga ones and this one looks similarly appealing, and the color is cool, too.

boxing day sale finds

NIKE WINDBREAKER // NIKE SNEAKS // OLIVIA RUBIN DRESS // LACOSTE POLOS // CASHMERE TURTLENECK // TBBC JAMMIES ($22!!!!) // $25 ROLLNECK SWEATERS // COLORBLOCK SCARF // UGGS // BELLABLISS JUMPER // EVERLANE COMBO COAT // EVERLANE TEDDY BOMBER // SAM EDELMAN BOOTS

Everlane has some great pieces marked down at the moment, too — $15 pocket tees (love these and own in multiple colors), my favorite transitional weather coat (they also have a cool variation with sherpa detailing on sale that would be so fun/splashy), teddy bomber in great colors, and a cozy “desk duster” (i.e., the kind of thing I leave hanging over the back of my chair at all times to throw on when cold).

Over at Nordstrom: these cashmere turtlenecks are 40% off and I love it in the black/white stripe (La Ligne vibes) and pastel pink.

Extra 30% off sale prices at Shopbop…tempted by this pastel confection ($139 with code — Easter dress?), NBs in great colorway for $41, statement scarf for well under $100.

These cord overalls at ON are $30, and these on-trend lug soles are discounted to $100 in a great matte gray color.

For men: Lacoste polos for under $50 (!!!!)

For children: Ugg bow boots for under $100 (in super limited sizes and colors), these popover dresses mini has been living in (extra 15% off appears when added to cart!), a classic, beautifully-made corduroy jumper at an H&M price, a perfect first-day-of-school dress if your little one is going into a twos program next fall (only avail in small sizes, and only $22), and unisex rollneck sweaters for only $25 (additional discount applied when added to cart).

Also for children, but in need of its own paragraph: extra 30% off sale prices and free sitewide shipping at TBBC. Some gems:

MY FAVORITE JAMMIES WHEN MICRO WAS BORN ARE SOMEHOW ON SALE!!! — PERFECT “COMING HOME” FOOTIE…AND I JUST BOUGHT MINI ONE OF THE LAST PAIRS OF THESE CLASSIC BOW JAMMIES FOR ONLY $22!!!!

DARLING EVERYDAY DRESS FOR SPRING

BUY NOW AND PULL OUT NEXT CHRISTMAS — A TOTAL CLASSIC

THIS BOW ONESIE!

MINI OWNED THIS DRESS AND IT BRINGS BACK THE BEST MEMORIES…FOR MY UVA FRIENDS, PERFECT FOR FOXFIELD WITH A LITTLE ONE IN TOW 🙂

P.S. Cleansing the palate.

P.P.S. Target finds.

P.P.P.S. My mom tucked these silk hair ties (also avail on Amazon Prime for next day delivery) into my stocking and…where have these been my whole life? I’m strangely obsessed with them. They are so much easier to tie on than standard elastics but don’t dent hair and still hold everything in place (unlike hair clips, which often let my hair out). I have been using them to tie my hair back while washing my face.

The other day, I came across this quote you’ve probably seen before:

“Pay attention to who you’re with when you feel your best.”

What I like about the quote is that it invites introspection about my interactions and dynamics with others, and it often unveils the unremarked grace and beauty of the people I love the most. For example, when I am with my sisters, I actually feel funny. I believe myself to be more of an earnest, wide-eyed, tender-hearted kind of person in my interactions with others, but when I am with my sisters, we laugh at ridiculous jokes in a reckless, delirious kind of way, and it feels delicious to be unguardedly silly. I love the way they make me feel — welcome, as if I can do no wrong, un-judged. It is a testament to their big hearts.

And then, of course, there’s Mr. Magpie. People often ask how we could possibly have built a business together — “we’d kill each other!” is the common retort from couples who discover this about us. But I am never more empowered or validated than when in his company. There is a great quote in the film “As Good As It Gets” — “You make me want to be a better man,” Jack Nicholson’s character tells Helen Hunt’s character. Mr. Magpie is that way: he gets the best out of me. He makes me feel like a better version of myself. And at the same time, he embraces the whole me, including the part of me he sent into embarrassing hysterics in the formal dining room at the Inn at Perry Cabin, and the part of me who cried at the Thanksgiving table, and the part of me who is a sore loser at Scrabble. He has seen it all — and a woman contains multitudes! — and he still makes me feel like a million bucks on a regular basis. Reflecting on this makes me realize what a forgiving and open-minded person he is, and reminds me of an element of his personality that I found appealing when we first met: he embraces the unique. Here is a guy who was in a marching band and played varsity baseball and can sail a boat (like, properly, by virtue of lessons and excursions – and it’s complicated!) and had a pet tarantula and studied electrical engineering (which I still know next to nothing about) and did not pledge a fraternity and had a fan club in high school and enjoyed illustration so much as a boy that he designed (and can still draw) a specific cartoonish character that was “his guy.” And he was excellent and self-assured in all of these pursuits. Here is a guy who lost his mind with admiration when he discovered that Lizzo is a professionally-trained flutist. Here is a guy who tells me: “Don’t hold her back!” when my daughter expresses interest in electric guitar and monster trucks and begs me to wear a Nirvana t-shirt and blast Black Sabbath on the way to school. In short, here is a guy who lets people be their whole selves and embraces the multitude within.

But what I don’t like about the quote is the unclear off-screen implication that if we don’t like how we feel around certain people, we can…? What? Cut them out? Avoid them? Change how we behave around them? Ask them to change? What is at the other end of that equation?

I ask this because, on the one hand, I applaud the mentality that I should surround myself with people that fill my cup. On the other hand, I feel that it is impractical and ungenerous for me to operate according to that exclusive principle. There are going to be relationships in life that are difficult, and that ruffle feathers, and that require exertion and reflection and sometimes outside help. And I must stay in these relationships for any number of reasons: work, family, geography (i.e., neighbors), school. Frankly, sometimes challenging relationships are self-edifying, or simply a reminder that I am needed.

So maybe the quote is best taken as a reminder to proactively carve out time with the people who make us feel whole, and to thank them for their embrace, than it is an auditing tool.

What do you think?

Post-Scripts.

+On getting over failed friendships.

+It is nice to be needed.

+On building friendships through motherhood.

+Female friendships and the things that matter.

Shopping Break.

+Timeless unisex Ray Ban shades, 40% off. I love these on men — Mr. Magpie has a pair!

+Have you tried these power peels? They are SO good. I’ve been using them for years. For some reason they are currently marked down on Amazon. Start with the 10-pack and see what you think. I love using these just before getting ready for a night out — I get out of the shower, cleanse my face, and apply one of these and immediately feel like my skin is renewed. (If I have more time, I’ll do a mask instead.) In more recent years, I’ve tended to use these similar resurfacing pads instead, but I found using them even a few times a week was irritating my skin after awhile, and so I’ve laid off those and instead just use the M61 power peels now and then, when I need a boost.

+Love the dimensions of this affordable knit sweater, in the perfect mauvey pink!

+Such a romantic little winter getaway dress.

+These look like a great way to up my bath routine.

+This fun blouse was just marked down, as was this Ulla. More fabulous tops here.

+Adorable scalloped stationery for all those Christmas thank you notes! More options for hcildren here, and options for you here.

+Guys. I thought I bought so much wrapping paper this year and was so on the ball and thankfully I spent a few nights wrapping well in advance of Christmas and discovered — no, in fact, I did not. I went to multiple Targets in search of extra and mine were totally sold out! Like, barren shelves! What on earth!? Going to see if there are any holiday gift wrap sales after Christmas and stock up for next year (will this chic set from Joy Creative be discounted, I wonder?!). In the meantime, I love this gingham gift wrap set to keep on hand! I’m determined to keep a well-stocked supply now that I have the space!

+ACNE beanie lookalike for $10. (OG here, or go middle-of-the-road with this similar Ganni.)

+More chic cold weather accessories here, and a rainbow of gorgeous puffers here.

+Finally, Bala weights are no longer back-ordered everywhere. You can order and have them arrive tomorrow! Perfect for a new year new fitness regimen.

+New workout gear always helps motivate me when getting started in a new fitness regimen. These are some of my favorite running tops — now available in some fun new stripes/colors.

+Hilarious that I wrote this post about how good it felt to clip back into my running routine because then an 18-day quarantine put the kibosh on that, and immediately after that, I opened my freezer and a hunk of frozen meat fell right on top of my foot, and I couldn’t put weight on it for three days straight. I guess the world does not want me to be running right now! Ha!

+This cashmere sweater for a little man is a splurge but so handsome!

+The absolute best daily facial sunscreen.

+This site has such fabulous, unique-looking lamps.

+Personalize your little one’s crayon box with these stickers!

+Fun indoor activity for little ones. Just add cars! I know many of us are in quarantine or isolating with omicron…!

+Love this Etsy furniture and home decor shop. Check out this fabulous chandelier and this raffia desk!

+Another sweet Valentine’s Day option for a little. (More heart-centric finds here.)

+Adorable straw tumbler for a teen.

+The most popular items I’ve featured on the blog this year.