OK, I am blown away by several of the pieces from Banana Republic’s New Arrivals section —
+This Zimmermann-esque balloon sleeved mini! It’s linen and I love it in both the Zimmermann-esque print and the understated chic “dry mustard” color. Wow. Major! So chic with a lace-up sandal like these for an early fall wedding or social gathering.
+This dress in the black or marigold is so chic — wow! Perfect date night dress, or even wedding guest dress depending on the dress code. Makes me think of Ulla Johnson, but under $200.
+THIS TOP! Again, reminds me a little of Zimmermann, a little of Ulla Johnson, and — in the solid khaki color — a bit of some of Hunter Bell’s pieces. I love the prints but I’m majorly drawn to the dry mustard color!
+This blouse would be so perfect for back to work, either in the white or khaki. Straight-forward with a twist!
+Adore the way this duster sweater is styled on the site in both colorways — it literally gave me new ideas for how to dress this fall. First of all, love the look where she’s wearing ecru denim tucked into brown boots and with HOOPS! I mean, SO chic. Who is doing the styling at BR?! I’m blown away.
+Finally, speaking of shackets, this canvas one in the cream color is insanely chic.
BRAVO Banana Republic! My head is officially turned. Will be taking notes from their styling from here on out…
On a totally separate note, I found a treasure trove of Cienta shoes on sale for 40% off at Gilt in great colors — navy, red, blue — just in time for the school year!
The other day, I was driving on 495 (a topic for another day, but it’s been…an adjustment getting back behind the wheel after four years of never driving, and I am trying not to make my newborn fear of highway driving “a thing” but YIKES! How do people drive 495 and 270 daily?! Horrifying!) and Ariana Grande’s “One Last Time” came on the radio. I was immediately transported to summer in Chicago, circa 2015, zipping down Wacker with Mr. Magpie and our best friends, the windows down, the air warm and wild around us. We’d just finished one of those architectural boat tours of the city which are, in fact, a fantastic way to see Chicago and much less cheesy than you’d think. There was alchemy afoot between the girlishness of Ariana’s song and the carefree frivolity of the day and the feel of Chicago in the summertime and the windows down and the music up. I was young(er), and happy, and unencumbered. It felt natural to sing at the top of my lungs over the roar of the wind.
Or at least that’s how I remember that time but I am certain there were heavinesses on my mind and heart at that age, or if not heavinesses, questions and everyday stressors. A lot happened to us in Chicago. Not all of it bad and none of it so unique or trying that it sets me apart from any other woman in her late 20s. There were losses and embarrassments. It was mainly a coming of age. We arrived wide-eyed newlyweds and we left somewhat burnt out, but wiser and scrappier and with the tremendous blessing of our beloved daughter. Still, it took until a magical meal a year into living in Manhattan for us to fully emerge from that headspace. Then came Hill, a true and thorough joy — but also the dawn of a sustained period of exhaustion that in turn drew us straight into COVID, and, well, the first few months of the pandemic were pretty dark. Though it bears noting that the sun still rises everyday, and that we made it, and that there are so many families that have been through hell and worse and sometimes not back during this same time period. Soy bendecida, soy bendecida, soy bendecida.
Anyhow, Ariana’s song feels emblematic of those early, halcyon days in Chicago — pre-children, pre-entrepreneurship, pre-COVID. Still laboring under the apprehension that the world was our oyster. I’m sure this algebra will change as I age, but at the moment, I see my life drawn into four segments along an x axis, and some of these segments overlap: 1) pre-Landon, 2) with Landon, 3) with children, 4) with the pain and insights that came of closing our business. What I mean by #4 is that at some point in 2017, we closed a business we had built together, which is a lot less straight-forward than it sounds. Closing that business together was painfully drawn out, sort of like removing ten thousand porcupine quills from your skin one-by-one and very slowly. There were the early rumblings that it might be something we should consider. Not-so-frank, then-very-frank conversations with our funders. The trimming back of plans, the loss of staff. The million little, impossibly excruciating details — contracts to consider, accounts to close, people to tell, associations to quit. And behind all of those logistics laid bare a gaping wound with no doctor to treat it. Oh. Those were hard days. I write that and I feel compelled to qualify: but we ended up fine! we learned so much! we landed on our feet! I wouldn’t be here without being there! we were lucky to have the space to start that business together! at least we had the companionship of each other! this is all small potatoes compared to the travails of so many others! However, I still look back and absolutely freeze. I have the sense that when I look back at this x axis, I will forever consider the end of our business a turning point in my life, a phase somehow on par with other major shifts, like puberty, and matrescence, and becoming a wife. It was identity-changing: a collision of outlandish expectations with gut-wrenching realities.
Oof. A bit heavy there, but perhaps the broader tableau explains why I have a profound affection for that Ariana song, which is really not that great (though some of her other early songs were!), and whose lyrics mean virtually nothing to me (“baby come back,” in so many words). It is breezy and catchy and the opening chimes bring to mind steel drums and island time and the uniquely spectacular and old-timey joy of summer in Chicago. Maybe I am giving the song short shrift, though — there is something in the rise of her voice in the chorus that feels perfectly synchronized with the way I felt in 2015: in hopeful ascent. Which is not to say that the past many years have been a downslope, nor that I would change anything, nor that I would like to go back to that time. (I need my babies around me.) I have come to a place where I am “perplexed and awed / by how every little thing / added up and brought / [me] somewhere wonderful — or /where [I] always wanted to be.”
Still, that song. It draws me to a good place.
What song do you secretly love? Or rather — what unexpected song holds special meaning for you?
+Y’all are loving this smocked top for fall, and I think it will be perfect with jeans but also layered underneath some of the nap dresses I’ve been seeing on preview from Hill House! I saw one that is very similar to this Emilia Wickstead style (<<only one size left here) I have been dreaming of for years now.
+Recently read that this Chanel lipstick in the “Boy” color is a fantastic nude on many skin tones. Intrigued…have definitely been in the mood to play around with cosmetics now that we are seeing more friends and have more on our social calendar.
+It’s interesting — this post didn’t get that many comments, but I received so many emails and messages of solidarity around “the witching hour” from you lovely fellow mamas.
+We searched high and low for a Haws watering can a few weeks back and couldn’t find one anywhere! I just found some in stock here in the 1-gal size. FYI! You can also get the look for a little less with this under-$30 one — love the green and copper combo.
+Had to get these socks for mini. Love the retro styling!
+Running out in and out of the backyard all the time makes me realize how handy clogs will be this fall. Just slip on and go!
I’ve been sharing a lot of children’s clothing posts over the last few weeks because, after slowly and opportunistically filling out their summer wardrobes over the past many months, I am suddenly shuttled into buying for fall! There are some amazing fall finds for girls here and boys here, but you must know about Gap’s 40% off promotion, which ends tonight! I just did a big haul and here were my favorite finds:
I also picked up a few items from Old Navy since they will let you combine a cart and shop from both spots at once. I got a bunch of pairs of these everyday leggings in white and navy, this puffer vest in the dusty red, and this striped rugby tee.
I am struggling to find simple, not-exorbitantly-priced LS tops for mini for this fall. She’s sized out of the toddler basic LS tees at Old Navy, which is what I used to go with, and so many other places are either $42/top or emblazoned with graphics. J. Crew is a good option but I find the shirts run really narrow/long and they just don’t fit mini properly. Will keep hunting and report back!
Oh – and if you’re shopping for yourself instead of the LOs, a few good Gap snags:
Speaking of Amazon finds, I did end up ordering micro this rain coat in that great mid-blue color and was surprised to find it’s basically back-ordered in that color until October run. So, run! I also snagged mini the child version of my favorite Amazon fleece for a twin moment this fall.
Currently hoping for a Janie + Jack promo so I can snag a few other pieces for micro sooner than later!
P.P.S. A reader asked what I’m doing to get ready for the back-to-school routine (BTW, some cute back to school outfit inspo here). We still have a little while to go — mini’s first day is until after Labor Day — but last year, we worked hard the week prior to school’s start to make sure everyone was fed, dressed, ready to go by the time we’d need to leave for school. That way, it was much less jarring on the first day — we already had a week of practice under our belts. Our school had also suggested making some sort of visual countdown available to children, as they have no sense for time. (What’s a week to a toddler?!). There are all kinds of ways to do this — I’ve seen tear off calendars (tear off a page each day until you get to 0) and even homemade chain links using construction paper that you hang from some part of the child’s room. Each day that passes, you remove one link, until there are none left, and that’s the first day of school! We just used a wall calendar, which has been very helpful in general with mini. She does not like surprises, and, on the flipside, it helps her get excited about upcoming celebrations, activities, special occasions, etc. We got her this Peanuts one since she loves Snoopy, and it came with lots of little stickers for things like play dates, doctor’s visits, etc. She has fun putting the stickers on the right day, and part of our bedtime routine is letting her cross off today and discussing what’s coming up tomorrow. Anyhow, we’ll use the calendar to continuously point out the start of school.
I basically overhauled most of my skincare regimen at the start of 2021 — one of my new year’s goals was to take better care of my skin — and so I have been testing and reporting back on tons of new products over the past nine months. However, there are a few hero items I have used for years and years and years that I will never abandon in favor of the new new, and I think the longevity of my commitment to them speaks volumes. These are products that have stood the test of time, whose quality and effectiveness are consistent and impressive. I have used many of these for over a decade — some since my teen years!
PANTENE PRO-V (IT’S THIS OR ORIBE — NOTHING ELSE…I’VE BEEN TESTING THE OLAPLEX AFTER SO MANY GREAT REVIEWS AND I PERSONALLY THINK PANTENE IS STILL BETTER)*
GOODY HAIR TIES — NOTHING FANCY, BUT I’M NEVER WITHOUT A FISTFUL OF THESE IN ALL MY BAGS/DRAWERS
What are your ride-or-die beauty products you’ll never abandon?
*I wrote about this hi-lo dichotomy on hair care in this post. So interesting to read about where other women splurge/save, too. Also: hats off to the reader who mentioned you can often score Oribe on sale at TJ Maxx!
**Will eventually share full reviews of all my latest beauty discoveries (it’s been a minute since my last installment), but I do have to put out a little plug for this $10 brush now, which I bought for mini. She has a children’s Mason Pearson brush upstairs and one of these downstairs, as I often do her hair while she’s finishing up breakfast. I honestly think it’s slightly better for detangling than the MP for a little one. It grabs fine hair really nicely and works through snarls and snags (ahem, yogurt/syrup in hair) wonderfully. I have been wanting to try Yves Durif’s expensive detangling brush (currently sold out) but may honestly just buy a second one of these for myself for post-shower!
P.P.S. This section of my blog has a complete list of all my favorite beauty finds at the moment, including more recent discoveries than the items above.
Each morning, Mr. Magpie descends to his tiered garden beds, the August heat already swollen around him, the sun startlingly unremitting. I observe him nudging vines and tugging at weeds in quiet appraisal. Sometimes I capture him in an unaffected posture of reflection, a few paces back from the soil, his head cocked to the side. He will later divulge his assessments: “I think I’m going to move the basil plant” or “I’m contemplating getting rid of that raspberry bush” or even the daybreak beginnings of broader conversations about life, as though digging into the earth in mid-August heat invites these first yarns on the warp. But I hear of those lambent musings later. That sliver of golden morning sun is his. His separate peace. His centering before returning to the rush of air conditioning and clatter of breakfast plates and the tug of small hands at the hem of his shirt, when he presents me with his morning harvest: a palmful of delicate raspberries, an eggplant to cook for dinner, three or four squat tomatoes.
It dawned on me the other day, while watching him return from his morning errand, that there are many permutations of prayer. Or if “prayer” is too broad a reach for those who are practicing Christians — of mindfulness. C.S. Lewis wrote this:
“The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing.”
I see in my husband’s tender morning ministrations to the soil a man “letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing.” His ritual is, for me, a sunup call to prayer and a reminder of the spectacular multivalence of the physical world. I immediately think of Seamus Heaney, who, in his celebrated poem “Digging,” draws fibrous connections between what he would later call “the head’s center and its circumference” — that is, what is seen or heard on the outside and what is felt on the inside, and the reverberations between — while also reminding us of the gorgeous wideness of interpretation.
“Under my window, a clean rasping sound When the spade sinks into gravelly ground: My father, digging. I look down
Till his straining rump among the flowerbeds Bends low, comes up twenty years away Stooping in rhythm through potato drills Where he was digging.
[…]
The cold smell of potato mould, the squelch and slap Of soggy peat, the curt cuts of an edge Through living roots awaken in my head. But I’ve no spade to follow men like them.
Between my finger and my thumb The squat pen rests. I’ll dig with it.”
I read this and I watch my husband in his garden and I reflect on C.S. Lewis and I strain towards a more prayerful morning posture — and I see two souls oriented differently digging towards the same center.
Post-Scripts.
+If you haven’t listened to Seamus Heaney read this poem, you must (<<there is a link to his reading here). I love so many of the inflections and intonations, but especially the resolve in the final line. I hadn’t interpreted that line as a reclamation, but it is, in his voice.
+I actually gasped when I saw this $228 bow-front dress in the brown/black combo — talk about a perfect fall wedding guest dress! SO CHIC. The color combo! Also love the red/pink.
+Chic, tailored fleece topper. Although don’t sleep on this $30 sherpa zip-up, which is still one of my favorite things ever. I love throwing it on after working out. So soft and warm! I have it in the teddy brown color.
A two-part digest of pieces I have been loving lately…part one: mainly muted pastels, blues, and greens.
CABBAGE PLATES. Have long loved the look of Bordallo Pinheiro’s cabbage plates, especially when used as dessert places or chargers. If you’re not ready to commit to a set of plates, you could start with a platter in the design. Also love these plates as wall decor, as demonstrated to profoundly chic effect above. Terrain also sells a similar cabbage style individually, and in even more colors.
POLKA DOT DRESS. I’ll never forget a Magpie reader commenting that “all men love a polka dot.” Can’t unhear that and couldn’t agree more — this lovely silk dress in the prettiest shade of blue has my heart eyes. I love (!) the cinching detail at the waist, which is very Brock Collection-esque.
ENAMEL PENDANTS. Cannot get over the shape and color of these beautiful pendant lights, which could totally transform a room. More chic lighting ideas here.
SEA THANDIE DRESS. Love everything about this style from the color to the embroidery to the cut.
ETIENNE WRITING DESK. Just the most gorgeous style for a ladylike office. I feel like I’d be busy with “correspondence” at a desk like this. Ha. It looks vintage! A lot of you loved the simple lines of this unfussy writing desk from Pottery Barn I shared a week or two back.
P.P.S. “And this was maybe why I tended to do well on tests at school: I was self-diminishingly vigilant and obsequious to others, and academics was one way to shine brightly while observing silence and harming no one. It was an aggressive sport with no obvious victim, and I was viciously competitive in its play.” More on me in high school here.
A quick little post to share two amazing childrenswear finds — first, Nantucket Kids is offering 40% off sitewide with code SUMMERSALE. Their Nellie dress is one of my favorite dresses of mini’s, and I am ordering it for her in this cute pink toile at 40% off. I would say this brand runs TTS, and all of their pima cotton pieces launder beautifully. I also added this play dress to my cart and wished I’d been able to snag one of these cotton dresses and this gingham style for mini before it sold out. This floral print dress is also darling. Ahh! I just love pima cotton dresses like these for sending mini to school / out to play. A little less precious, easier to care for, etc. And don’t sleep on their discounted pajamas and pima cotton tees while they’re 40% off!
I am slowly starting to work on my children’s fall wardrobes (um, school will be here so soon?!) and my first purchase was this pair of khaki shorts, recently restocked in all sizes, with my son’s initials monogrammed at the knee in cobalt blue. I shared a bunch of my other favorite fall basics for little boys in this post, but I am particularly excited about buying him this rain coat and this barn jacket. I’m always a sucker for good outerwear!
+This tiered floral dress. (Guess we’re all in dress mode!). All three of these dresses are great transition-to-fall buys because of their sleeves — all can be worn with a chic sweater and booties (or clogs)!
+A few sizes left of this pretty floral mini from one of my new favorite designers — wouldn’t this dress be the perfect coming-home-from-the-hospital dress? Buttons down the front, nice and loose! Would also work with bump!
I few months ago I shared a new-to-me word, eunoia, and I had to share another fantastic one: petrichor.
Petrichor: The earthy scent produced when rain falls on dry soil. The word is constructed from Greek petra, “rock”, or petros, “stone”, and īchōr, the fluid that flows in the veins of the gods in Greek mythology.
Spectacular in its specificity and allusiveness!
Any great words you’ve come across recently? Please share.
+Love all of these dried grasses for fall styling at home. We have a set of tall dried grasses we bought from a garden shop in Chicago (and have carried with us to three homes since!) that we keep in a tall vase in our foyer — adds so much texture, drama, and fullness for a reasonable price (and you don’t need to water them!). Love these pampas ones in particular.
Today, sharing a few items I have discovered over the past few years that have delighted me with their design, utility, and cost-saving benefits. Many of these I have raved about previously and on multiple occasions, but here they are, in one space:
+WOOL DRYER BALLS. I have raved about these to no fewer than half of my friends. Why? You use them instead of dryer sheets, which means a) you are no longer on the hook for buying dryer sheets every few months, as these reusable balls can be used for years — aka, one less thing to buy and one less thing to keep on top of; b) they have no scent, which I have learned I prefer, though you can buy essential oils to drop onto the balls if you prefer scented laundry; c) you are no longer tossing a single-use dryer sheet after every dryer session; d) they expedite the drying process because they help keep linens/clothing separate while tumbling dry, which saves time, energy, etc. On the last point: they are especially helpful when laundering sheets and towels! I swear they reduce the drying time by at least a quarter (maybe a half?) because sheets are no longer clumping together. Seriously a delightful discovery for this laundry-laden mother. You can stow in a glass apothecary jar when not in use.
+COCOFLOSS. (You can also buy individually if you want to test.) Will never use another brand of floss again — this has seriously improved my dental hygiene regimen. You will notice immediately that it has a textured weave that is totally dissimilar from the slick, glossy floss you’ve been using for years, and its fibers act like velcro for whatever is between your teeth. Amazing.
+GRANDEUR HOSPITALITY 12 PACK OF HAND TOWELS. I can’t tell you how many towels I have ruined with my mascara/makeup. How do women not destroy their towels? Do most grown-up women wash their hands every other second while applying makeup? For awhile, I used Weezie’s makeup towels, which are brilliant because they are black so it doesn’t matter if you schmear them with mascara and concealer, but I found I wanted a larger towel for face-washing and makeup application. I also found them to be fairly pricey for just two, and I needed more than two unless I wanted to do laundry more frequently than I typically do. All to say: I ended up buying a 12 pack of these inexpensive hand towels, which (funny enough) I learned about via my parents, as my Dad likes to have a stack of inexpensive towels in their fitness center, and these are their go-tos. I feel liberated by having 12 towels I don’t need to feel guilty about staining — I keep a nice clean stack of them right next to my makeup (because they come in a pack of 12, I always have at least six or eight clean ones on hand), and it is le best. I even keep one right outside the shower so I can pat my face with it without marking up my more expensive Matouk bath towels and sheets. (All my favorite towels here.)
+SORBUS STORAGE BINS. I find these to be the best all-around shape and size for organization of just about ANYTHING. I have a row of them in my office closet to organize cords, stationery, notepads, and other office supplies, but they are equally handy in my pantry (great dimensions for organizing individual snack packs, jars/bottles, condiments, etc), my cleaning closet (wide enough to hold spray bottles in a tidy row), my children’s closets and drawers (perfect for hair bows, overflow socks, shampoo/conditioner/etc), and my linen closet for bulky things like deodorant, soap, toothpaste, etc.
+BROTHER LABELMAKER. Hard to explain how much joy this brings me. I label all the Sorbus bins above, the tops of spice jars (SO much easier to locate spices this way, versus rifling through a bunch reading their labels on the front), flour/sugar keepers, bulky bins in our basement, etc. Wee! Joy! I found this so wonderfully easy to learn how to use. You basically pop in the tape and can get going immediately.
+ARTIS OVAL 7 BRUSH. I use this every single day and frankly don’t know what I did before. I love this for applying and blending Westman Atelier foundation, concealer, and even blush on top. I find this tool absorbs so little makeup, applies makeup super smoothly, and does an insane job of blending multiple layers of product together seamlessly. It also feels amazing (so soft!). I broke the handle of my first one somehow, and ordered a replacement of this size on the spot. Frankly, I’m not sure I needed to buy any other sizes — this is the one I use constantly.
+METAL STRAWS. I love this pack of reusable metal straws because they come in two lengths, with some straws featuring an angled top and others a straight. It’s handy because if Mr. Magpie and I are both drinking cocktails, I’ll take a bent one and he’ll take the straight so we can distinguish between glasses — ha! These are also better not only because you are no longer chucking single-use straws but because they do not disintegrate like paper ones do!
+ZIPPERED POUCHES. Have mentioned these at least 25x on the blog, but these have been a gamechanger for organizing the children’s toys and gear. We decanted all our toy sets from bulky/disintegrating/collapsing boxes into these and keep all small sets of toys together this way. Also handy for things like hair ties, Barbie accessories, stray buttons, etc. More great pouch solutions here.
+LAUNDRESS STAIN BRUSH. This plus liquid Palmolive and hot water will absolutely erase any stain you come across. I’ve gotten chocolate, blood, coffee, and more out of white fabrics with this combo of tools. The brush is super-small so you can control it easily, and the bristles are stiff but thin so they really get materials out of fabric!
+PRADA CARD CASE. OK, this one is a bit more exciting, but I don’t know how I lived without a card case? I basically only use this on a daily basis. I keep my ID, major credit cards, and insurance card in there, and then any other ancillary cards I keep in a bigger wallet I can throw into my bag if I know I will need them. I find the card case so easy to transfer between bags, grab for a coffee run, toss into a clutch, etc. Mine is Prada, but I also like these Bottega ones, these monogrammable ones from Neely + Chloe, this deeply discounted Smythson, and this Cuyana.
+PEARL MASK CHAIN. I just love this thing. I feel like it adds a little panache to my everyday look (love pearls!) and it is so handy when you are taking your mask on/off all the time.
+REPLAY PLATES. I’ve mentioned these a lot lately, but they’ve been on my mind because I have had several friends comment on them during play dates recently. They really are the best — durable, great colors (no cheesy designs), microwavable, dishwasher-safe, with compartments sufficiently deep to house yogurt/pasta with sauce/ketchup/etc. I also find these have held up really nicely over time. They look brand-new still!
+BAR MOP / KITCHEN TOWELS. Super inexpensive, highly absorbent. We try to use these in lieu of paper towels in our house and just throw them in the laundry bin at the end of the day. Random: also good for covering meats that are dry-brining in the fridge! I find these to be preferable to the Williams-Sonoma ones we used for years because I find myself more likely to use them like paper towels!
+SEVILLE EXPANDABLE CUTLERY ORGANIZER. This is so amazing — we had this in NYC and it can expand/contract to be a perfect fit for nearly any width of drawer for a custom/tailored fit. It’s made of the best, sturdiest wood and super attractive. Love.
What other must-have utility items do you rave about?
P.S. More recent utility buys for our home here and all my favorite home gear here.
Are you the life of the party, a wallflower, or something in between? Has COVID impacted your self-possession in social settings?
I find that my social vibe fluctuates — even now, in my 30s, when I feel at long last thoroughly comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes I am surprised by an unanticipated shy bent in my personality and have to coax myself out of my own shell. Other times, I startle myself with easy chit-chat with strangers. Now that I think about it, these oscillations in social confidence seem to have more to do with my headspace, how on-top-of-it I feel in other realms of life, and even what I’m reading and watching (?) at a given time than they do with the specifics of the gathering. When I feel calm in my heart and head, I find it far easier to connect with other people. (Go figure!). The isolation borne of COVID and the chaos of moving has intensified some of these shifts, leaving me hungrier for social interaction, less practiced at it, and at the same time more prone to feeling scattered in my personal affairs and therefore less at-home in group settings. One of the first group events I attended after the first few waves of COVID (and before Delta was a thing), when NYC was just reopening in May of this year, was surprisingly strenuous for me, even though I was surrounded by several close friends. I found myself out of practice in making my voice heard amongst a group of eleven or twelve other women, and I was simultaneously distracted by the strange tug I felt at leaving my children with Mr. Magpie for the afternoon, and by the laundry list of move-related chores on my plate, and by the fact that I’d had to wait twenty minutes for a cab downtown and was therefore appallingly late. (And I am a punctual person! “If you’re on time, you’re late,” etc.). The entire scenario caught me unaware, and left me wondering about my own reticence. I see now that it had more to do with context than with the circumstances of the party.
Work-related affairs are entirely different realm, with different stakes. I do not miss the conference circuit. That said, by the end of my tenure in the non-profit world, I had coached myself to the point of reliability when networking. I had two tactics that helped a lot in this regard: first, I would enter a room and immediately make conversation with the first person I made eye contact with. Often, my introduction was nothing more interesting than: “Hi, I’m Jen. I don’t think we’ve met before” or “Hi, I’m Jen. I don’t know anyone at this reception so I thought I’d introduce myself.” I found it far easier and less awkward to push myself to make contact right away versus idling around the room waiting for a convenient opportunity to interject. (This was also a strategy I deployed in school, where — though I was highly studious and attentive — I was never a vocal class participant. I would require myself to contribute to the conversation as early as possible in each class session, even sometimes willing myself to get my voice out there within the first ten minutes of class, because I found it more comfortable to participate later on if I’d already “broken the ice.” Otherwise, it became easier and easier to retreat into silence.) My second tactic was simply to remind myself of a truism Mr. Magpie brought home from a networking session he took in graduate school, where the instructor said: “It is always easier to be approached.” This platitude achieved the effect of the old “imagine the audience in their underwear” tack in that it reminded me that we are all human and it is always more pleasant to be approached, no matter how self-possessed you are in a social setting. In turn, it gave me the legs to approach people out of the blue, aware that my overture was likely a welcome gift for another reception-goer straining to make his or her way through the evening.
Writing this out makes me realize that though I don’t feel compelled to apply any sort of formal methodology to prepare for social gathering, it might do me well to check in briefly with myself before heading out to a group dinner or big party, i.e., “Are you feeling scattered already? What’s happening in that heart of yours?” and then muster my social will accordingly.
How about you?
(BTW, these ramblings bear the hallmark of a through-and-through introvert!)
+I’m feeling a major late 90s slip dress vibe coming on and I love it. This slip dress feels like Gwyneth meets CBK meets Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m here for it.
+My mom recently gave the hostesses of a shower these Jo Malone shower gels (clever play on words — shower gel for the shower hostesses!) and it was such a sweet gesture. Also, they smelled amazing!
+TBBC just launched some seriously cute new jammies: love these alphabet ones and trust me when I say these birthday ones will FLY. I actually just added the pima cotton dress in the birthday print to my cart even though mini’s birthday is not until March — this is the perfect outfit to send your little one into school in on her birthday, and they sell out in a flash! I spent an entire afternoon last year calling every boutique on the East Coast that carried TBBC in search of one of their birthday-print pima cotton dresses.
+Are you kidding me with this daybed?!?!?! Unreal!
By: Jen Shoop
The shopping gods are smiling on us today!
I field so many wedding guest dress requests, and Reformation is nearly always in my roundup of replies. They have such on-trend, slightly sexy styles, and now a slew of them have been marked down to under $200. If you are looking for a dress to wear to a wedding or special occasion this month or next, let this sale be your windfall!:
