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Mr. Magpie and I often revisit the slightly macabre query: “What would be your last meal?” His answer remains the same, year after year: blue crabs and cold beer, enjoyed outside with family and friends. Mine has evolved over time but it is nearly always pasta. My current choice would be Amatriciana. This is the page our well-loved, tomato-splattered, dog-eared copy of Sauces and Shapes opens to on its own, so frequent has Mr. Magpie made it since we first discovered it a few years ago. He has annotations in the margins and the page is itself wrinkled with pasta water and grease. Let these tactile indicators of its beloved positioning in Mr. Magpie’s incredibly diverse and ambitious monthly meal planning speak for themselves. This past week alone, he has prepared 3-day-brined pork chops served with Garden & Gun’s outrageously delicious, peanut-streusel-dotted sweet potato casserole (yes, you need the sorghum syrup, but you can find it on Amazon) and steamed, buttered green beans; homemade sheet pan pizza startlingly similar to Prince Street’s finest using Kenji Lopez’s recipe; Zuni-style roast chicken with our favorite Boulud carrots and roasted small potatoes, slightly smashed and garnished with salsa verde; chicken salad (from aforementioned roast chicken leftovers) accessorized with tarragon and the tenderest butter lettuce from our garden; and the most satisfying Italian Wedding Soup with fregola, escarole, and lamb meatballs. Suffice to say, Mr. Magpie is an absolute genius in the kitchen and I eat like a queen. He insists on varying the protein (I’m sure we’re due for seafood next), cuisine, style, and we rarely repeat — with the exception of a handful of pastas that he makes over and over and over, at my urgent request.

Amatriciana is one of those. (Orecchiette with broccoli rabe and spicy sausage, penne with puttanesca sauce, and linguine and clams come in close behind.). The way Oretta Zanini de Vita describes this dish in her cookbook is perfect: “It seems incredible for such an easy, humble sauce, but this is one of the dishes self-appointed purists (read: fanatics) will fight over to the death, or at least death by boredom. You have to use spaghetti or bucatini, they say–nor is it that simple, since there are spaghetti-only and bucatini-only factions. No cheese but pecorino is permitted. And woe betide you if you use pancetta in place of guanciale.” Later: “Like many rustic, simple sauces that have found immortality on trattoria menus throughout Italy, this dish is only as good as its ingredients…The result is a red sauce studded with bits of lightly fried pork, but you don’t want it too red. The pasta and guanciale should be coated with a thin mantle of sauce, not hidden. Don’t let the gloppy, oversauced trattoria version be your model. The cheese is sharp and salty, but again, don’t use too much.” There are many paragraphs circling in on these details and the provenance of the dish and why you must only use pecorino romano in this dish, and the way Oretta runs through all of these details — the finnicky commitment to tradition, the ideal serving style, makes my mouth water.

On an experiential level, a big plate of bucatini dressed in Amatriciana sauce is the ultimate comfort food. It is delightfully salty and the bucatini affords such an incredible mouthfeel — chewy and satisfying. There is nothing like a big forkful of slightly porky, slightly tomato-centric bucatini, offset by the tang and salt of the cheese. It is deeply satisfying. If you don’t consider what you’re doing, you’re bound to eat an entire plate and still want a few extra bites right out of the serving dish. A plate of this pasta would be the centerpiece of my final meal, but I’d probably also bribe Mr. Magpie into making sauteed broccoli rabe dressed with chili, garlic, and anchovy to serve alongside it, which is in my mind the perfect bitter foil to the fatty condimento (and rabe is my favorite vegetable), and I’d eat it all at the coffee table of our living room, sitting on the floor next to him, with an easy-to-drink red wine like Montepulciano d’Abruzzo, drunk out of a juice glass — the way I like it.

*Note that photo at top is NOT accurate to the recipe, i.e., it shows parm and may in fact be carbonara or something, but still…evocative!

Anyhow, below, our beloved Amatriciana recipe, with Mr. Magpie’s annotations:

Amatriciana a la Oretta, a la Mr. Magpie

This sauce is used on flour and water shapes [i.e., not egg pasta] — spaghetti or bucatini, of course, but rigatoni, cassarecce, or some of the handmade flour-and-water shapes, such as strozzapreti/pici do nicely too. [Ed. note: do yourself a favor and invest in some really good dried pasta for this dish. It makes a world of difference. The sauce clings to the pasta much better, and you can just taste the quality. Eataly carries a lot of our favorite brands and ships anywhere. While you’re there, pick up some great olive oil — we’ve tried most of the styles Eataly carries, and all are delicious; I think “experts” believe EVOO from Liguria in Italy is the best, and here is one such bottle — and San Marzano canned tomatoes. Mr. Magpie places a few huge orders for these staples each year, either from Eataly or Gustiamo. These high-quality pantry staples really make a difference in this simple recipe in particular! Meanwhile, the guanciale makes this dish! It is worth seeking out.If you are in NYC, you can find guanciale at Dickson’s in Chelsea Market, at Eataly in Flatiron, and occasionally at Hudson and Charles on the Upper West Side, conveniently a few doors down from Barney Greengrass, and therefore worth a trip on its own (stock up on guanciale for dinner and then lox and bagels for the next morning). If you are in the D.C. area, we have been getting our guanciale from Organic Butcher in McLean, which in fact delivers to Bethesda. I would venture to guess that Butcher & Larder in Chicago would carry it, too — Gepperths and Paulina were also favorite butchers of ours when we lived there, but they seem more entrenched in the classic German butcher tradition, so not sure they’d carry it.]

For the condimento:

4 oz guanciale, cut into thin strips

2-3 tablespoons EVOO

1 small onion, chopped

1 whole 14 oz can whole peeled tomatoes

1-2 small pieces dried chile

salt [we use only Diamond Kosher salt]

To make the dish:

1 pound pasta

70 grams grated pecorino

Instructions:

Put the guanciale and oil in a saucepan. Turn the heat to medium and heat gently so the guanciale renders some fat and starts to brown. Taste a piece to assess how salty it is. Then, when it jut begins to crisp, add the chopped onion and saute gently until transparent. Add the tomatoes and chile, then taste for salt (how much you need will depend on the gunaciale). Finish cooking the sauce, covered, over low heat. You’ll know it’s done when the liquid has thickened somewhat and the fat shows on the surface, about 20 minutes.

Bring 5 quarts of water to a boil in an 8 quart pot over high heat. Add 3 tablespoons kosher salt, then add the pasta and cook, stirring occasionally, until al dente.

Drain the pasta, reserving some of the starchy pasta water in a Pyrex measuring cup. Place pasta back in cooking pot off the heat. Coat with a little pasta water and cheese, adding cheese in increments of about 1/3 cup, tossing constantly with tongs. You want to see the cheese and water start to cling to the bucatini to create a kind of cheesy saucey coating. Then add sauce to the pasta pot and continue tossing constantly with tongs, adding additional cheese/pasta water as needed to create perfectly coated strands.

Serve immediately on plates (not bowls), grating additional pecorino on top.

What about you? What would be your final meal?

Post-Scripts.

+Funny how some dishes weave themselves into the fiber of memory.

+Writing about Paulina Meat Market above reminded me of this lovely story from a small Polish restauranteur in Chicago.

+If you’re thinking ahead to Thanksgiving, I shared all of our favorite Thanksgiving recipes in this post from a few years back (scroll down).

+Ideas for a date night at home.

+Are you an adventurous eater?

+Notes on hosting girlfriends at home — including some delicious menu ideas.

+Some of our all-time favorite recipes — the scarce handful Mr. Magpie will make over and over again.

+Some of our favorite cookbooks!

+Things you must have in your kitchen.

Shopping Break.

+You know I love overalls. This pair would be so adorable with this blouse beneath.

+This sweater is somehow marked down to $41 in the ivory color in an XS…snagged.

+These earrings are in my cart.

+Beauty guru Courtney Grow swears by this pommade for the perfect slicked-back bun. I trust her implicitly. This reminds me that I have on a few occasions in the past few weeks let my hair air dry overnight and then curled it into loose, beachy waves using a 1″ barrel iron. I let my hair cool for a few secs, run my fingers through it, and then set with my favorite texturing spray, also by Ouai. It yields the perfect “cool girl” waves IMO.

+When I do wear my hair slicked back in a low bun, for some reason I always want to wear gold hoops (?) and have been sporting these inexpensive ones, whose quality impresses me!

+This utilitarian-chic radio and bluetooth player is marked down to almost 70% off. I might buy it as a stocking stuffer for Mr. Magpie for when he’s gardening / grilling in the area below our deck and the music doesn’t quite reach him!

+Lake Pajamas just restocked its maternity collection and I immediately sent pairs to two friends who delivered recently! Such a luxe and lovely gift for a new mama. So often the gifts are (understandably) all about baby — nice to spoil mama too.

+These mini Kankens are perfect for little ones when traveling. Micro has one and I keep his books, toys, stuffed animals, etc in it so it’s easy for him to find his stuff! They come in such great colors, too.

+Just look at this chic pendant light — love!

+Adore these placemats from such an unlikely source!

+Another cute fall blouse for a little one at a great price, paired with a cord jumper at a great price. More darling (affordable) finds along these lines here.

+Drawn to these slightly masculine penny loafers.

+Inexpensive velvet hairbows for littles.

+Drawn to these “layering pants” in ponte. Sort of like a notch above leggings, designed to fit into boots and under sweaters, like this fisherman style shown on the site.

+A perfect fair isle sweater to pair with denim like this.

+Honestly, I might order this bag for myself.

+This floral jacket ($20!) for a little lady is too cute!

+Margot Tenenbaum vibes.

+I don’t know how else to say it — these coupes are sexy?

+I love the look of these under-$100 black waterproof suede boots — like, if you need to look pulled together but also trudge through Chicago snow on your way to work?

+Love the color of these cord overalls for a baby.

+A refined take on the shacket.

+These dramatic coats from Saks Potts have been all the rage the last few years. You can get the look for less with this, or aim somewhere in the middle with a Shrimps coat, which is definitely on my lust list…!

Whether you’re planning ahead for Thanksgiving (ooh, I really need to get on this, as we are hosting both sets of parents and my sister and her children this year!) or just wanting to update your fall dinnertime game, some chic pieces for your tablescape:

fall tabletop finds

ANTIQUED BRASS CANDLESTICKS

RIBBED CANDLES IN GORGEOUS COLORS

SCALLOPED NAPKINS IN FABULOUS FALL PRINTS

VELVET BOW NAPKIN RINGS

TORTOISE GLASSWARE

WINE DECANTER (WE HAVE ONE FROM REIDEL FROM A FEW YEARS BACK VERY SIMILAR IN SHAPE TO THE CB ONE!) — SUCH AN ELEGANT WAY TO ELEVATE THE TABLE

LAGUIOLE CARVING SET (WE OWN THIS)

BOTANICAL FOREST NAPKINS

FEATHER WREATHS

WHITE CERAMIC QUAIL (I OWN A FEW OF THESE — ETSY IS A TREASURE TROVE FOR ACCESSORIES LIKE THIS!)

FOREST GREEN PLACEMATS

EMILE HENRY RUFFLED BAKEWARE SET IN BURGUNDY

CHARCUTERIE PICKS

THANKSGIVING CRACKERS

PIG CHARCUTERIE BOARD

SAGE RIALTO COUPES

PERSONALIZED WIPEABLE PLACEMATS FOR LITTLES (ALSO IN THANKSGIVING PATTERNS, BUT I LIKE THE SIMPLE GREENERY!)

TURKEY COLORING PLACEMATS — FUN FOR THE KIDS’ TABLE (THESE ARE FUN TOO)

FRAYED-EDGE RIBBON

ETCHED WINE GLASSES

LEATHER COASTERS

ANTLER NAPKIN RINGS

FOREST WALK DINNER PLATE

GRASS TURKEY

NESTING TRAYS

TAUPE BUFFALO CHECK TABLECLOTH

BIRD SALAD PLATES

PUMPKIN SERVING BOWL

INEXPENSIVE BURGUNDY GINGHAM NAPKINS

PINK COUPES

BAY LEAF AND OLIVE GARLAND

And, ordered this for our front door!

P.S. More fall home finds here.

P.P.S. Some favorite fall baking recipes!

P.P.P.S. An easy kind of love.

I have been making a lot of my summer wardrobe stretch into fall through the addition of a couple of key accessories. My two favorite outfits at the moment, during this period where it might be 50 in the morning and 80 in the afternoon, are this exact India Amory shirtdress or this exact Mille dress paired with these suede driving flats and a fitted navy cardigan (often tied around my shoulders when things warm up). The suede and cableknit totally transform the look for summer to autumn. I have even been wearing my white dresses like this and this with these autumnal accents!

An inspo board here:

accessorizing summer dresses for fall

MILLE DRESS // SWEATER HEADBAND // LE LION SWEATER // VIBI VENEZIA SLIPPERS // SHRIMPS CARDIGAN // MARGAUX MULES // MONOGRAM CARD CASE (ON SALE FOR $20) // CE FINN DRESS // $6 VELVET HEADBAND // OVERSIZED KEY TASSEL // CROC EYEGLASS CASE // & OTHER STORIES CARDI // LSF KNIT CARDI // MANGO CARDI // MANSUR GAVRIEL BAG // SUEDE DRIVERS (40% OFF!)

A few other fab fall flats in great textures to pair with midi/maxi dresses:

MARGAUX MULES

VIBI VENEZIA SLIPPERS (CHECK OUT THE STYLING INSPO HERE!)

LE MONDE BERYL LOAFERS (ALSO LOVE THE MULES)

ARTEMIS SLIPPERS

CHANEL VELVET BALLERINAS

MANOLO SUEDE SLIDES

CARRIE FORBES LOAFERS

TECHNICALLY A HOUSE SLIPPER BUT I’VE WORN THESE BIRDIES OUT AND ABOUT

A few other fab cardigans to pair with these dresses:

THIS FLORAL-TRIM CROPPED STYLE IN PERFECT BLUE OR PINK

THIS CLASSIC NAVY

BABYDOLL STYLE

WAIST-CINCHING ALPACA KNIT

THIS LIGHTWEIGHT PUFF-SLEEVED STYLE

THIS PEARL-TRIM STYLE

THIS HEATHERED RUFFLE-KNIT

VARIEGATED COLOR KILTE

LE LION

JEWEL BUTTONED BEAUTY

THIS EMBROIDERED SHRIMPS (LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS, THIS, OR THIS)

PASTEL FAIR ISLE

PUFF-SLEEVED STYLE (ULLA-INSPIRED — SEE O.G. HERE!)

I’ve shared a lot of fab dresses that bridge the transition from summer to fall here and here, but a few standout dresses I love in addition to the two at the top of this post…

THIS CE FINN

THIS CHOCOLATE BROWN TORY BURCH (LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS ZARA)

THIS SEA MAXI

THIS TARGET STEAL

THIS MILLE

TIERED SHIRTDRESS

As temperatures dip cooler, love the idea of layering a fitted turtleneck under a shirtdress or nap dress.

P.S. Lots of fab accessories to pair with these looks here and more amazing fall footwear here.

P.P.S. How do you approach self-care as a mother?

P.P.P.S. The most encouraging words I’ve read in a long time.

A few recent favorites, several of which I’ve already purchased for mini’s fall wardrobe:

The Fashion Magpie Fall Girls Finds

NAVY CORDUROY BOW DRESS

VELVET HAIR TIES

GINGHAM JAMMIES ($22)

COLLARED BLUE CHECK DRESS

SHERPA DUFFLE COAT

SMOCKED BLOUSE ($20!) OR SEA-INSPIRED CROCHET TRIM TOP TO PAIR WITH CORDS

FAUX FUR VEST TO LAYER OVER CUTE DRESSES

SMOCKED BISHOP DRESS (ON SALE FOR $23)

VELVET HEADBAND ($6!) OR GROSGRAIN HEADBAND ($2.50!)

SMOCKED WRIST DRESS (VIBE FOR LESS WITH THIS)

PERFECT THANKSGIVING DRESS

OLIVE GREEN BARN COAT

DARLING FAIR ISLE SWEATER

MOST PRECIOUS NIGHTGOWN I’VE EVER SEEN

PEPLUM PULLOVER SWEATER

NAVY AND WHITE STRIPE FLEECE

FRILLED COLLAR DRESS (UNDER $20) TO PAIR WITH RIBBED TIGHTS

NAVY COLLARED DRESS

RUFFLE COLLAR BLOUSE TO PAIR WITH CORD SKIRT

SMOCKED MAGNOLIA BABY BUBBLE

SHERPA JACKET ($30)

VELCRO VEJAS

LIBERTY-TRIM CAPE

WINDOWPANE PLAID DRESS

PIMA SMOCKED DRESS

PETER PAN COLLAR KNIT DRESS

EXAGGERATED COLLAR DRESS ($11!)

CHERRY TURTLENECK TO PAIR WITH CORD OVERALLS

ROSEBUD PRINT PUFFER

P.S. Fall finds for boys.

P.P.S. Cute finds for littles from Nordie’s.

P.P.P.S. Did you find it harder going from 0-1 vs 1-2 children? My thoughts here.

Some evenings, Mr. Magpie and I stay up too late talking —

We used to call them “dream talks,” and we’d curl up against one another and imagine our futures, letting improbable fancies and fortunes spool out into the night, as if the darkness offered umbrage to imagination too bold to share in daylight.

Nowadays, we are more grounded, and these late-night conversations tend to circle around relationships, family, work, plans, our children, our children, our children, our children. There are many “I wonder if…”s and “have you noticed…?”s on the parenting front. We propel ourselves through the tough stuff of child-rearing on these nights.

And always, there is music.

Mr. Magpie loves to play the music just a little too loud. He has been this way since I met him as a teen, when I could hear the bass from his black Jeep thumping a good block before I’d see him. Against my gentle admonishments on this front, he has repeatedly told me, since I was 19 years old: “If it’s too loud, you’re too old.” And so now most nights, after light bickering over the volume, we will sit, my feet on his lap, and absorb Brandi Carlile or Lauryn Hill or Sturgill Simpson and, when he is feeling particularly wistful, Duke Ellington’s “A Single Petal of a Rose” — always a few decibels higher than I’d like.

We have been on a John Prine kick the last few weeks. I am always touched, occasionally to the point of tears, by “I Remember Everything,” which seems to me a perfect portrait of the impossible ache of grief, but Mr. Magpie loves “In Spite of Ourselves,” a witty and slightly off-color love song that reminds us that, against all odds, love bears all things. This last listen, he drew me into the lyrics, nudging me at the refrain:

There won’t be nothin’
But big old hearts, dancin’ in our eyes

And that’s just how it feels, sitting on the couch these nights, exhausted but sustained by one another, reduced to nothing but heart.

Post-Scripts.

+Those lyrics feel tailor made for some of the sentiments I shared in this love letter.

+Mr. Magpie makes light where there is little.

+A prayer that moved my husband to tears.

+Parenting can feel like a heart rent in too many directions.

+To the mom nursing her baby at 3 a.m.

+3 A.M. parties.

Shopping Break.

+This popular dress was just marked down to under $140 — would be so cute for a newborn shoot!

+Sweet fall/winter hair bows for a little lady.

+This cableknit sweater is basically perfect.

+Everyone’s favorite slipper is back and available in so many colors. I bought these for my nanny last Christmas and she loved them — though as Christmas approaches, they become more and more difficult to find in all sizes.

+This popular bamboo cutlery set is back in stock!

+Seriously love this top.

+Have my eye on this retinol “eye stick.” Drawn to the seeming ease of application!

+Chic finds from Madewell and how I’d style them.

+Cute letterpress gift enclosures.

+This $80 sweater is SO on-trend.

+Ordered these Halloween tags for my littles to send in to school/play group along with Halloween treats/toys. (More ideas here.)

+Love these dusty pink cords for a little lady.

+OO this rattan wall sconce is so good!

+This bag looks like Celine. Not cheap, but less than Celine and SO gorgeous.

+Cordless bamboo shades — so chic paired with simple white drapes, and such a great price.

+Chinoiserie ornaments!

+J. Crew’s new arrivals are so good ATM!

+A forever favorite in our house.

+This facial palette comes with such good colors. I don’t know how to contour, but I like these shades for blush, eye shadow, bronzer, highlighter, etc!

+Such a great fall flat in one of my favorite colors ATM. Imagine paired with one of the burgundy nap dresses!

+And speaking of burgundy — this Veronica Beard!!! I have a tiered shirtdress in a summer stripe from Mille I have worn constantly the last few weeks and this might be the perfect fall alternative.

+Fun varsity-style sweater at a good price. I would wear this over a nap dress.

All of my absolute favorite picks for this fall (most of which I own):

the fashion magpie fall favorites
the fashion magpie blog best sellers

VIBI VENEZIA VELVET FURLANES

LA LIGNE WOOL AND CASHMERE SWEATER

LAKE PAJAMAS PATIO DRESS

CASHMERE POLO SWEATER

LIZZIE SCHECK ZODIAC NECKLACE

SMOCKED TOP

BODEN TIERED CORDUROY DRESS

PADDED CORDUROY HEADBAND

PAM MUNSON LADY BAG

ALEMAIS MIDI

PADDED HEADBAND

TARGET MAXI IN BLUE

OTTOMAN RIB PULLOVER

SUEDE DRIVING FLATS

VERONICA BEARD TROUSERS

DAPHNE WILDE SLEEVELESS TRENCH (OVER A TURTLENECK!)

HALF-ZIP

CLARE VIVIER TROPEZIENNE BAG

ULLA DRESS

VELVET GUCCI

WIDE-LEG CROP JEANS

SMOCKED-NECK BLOUSE

EVERYDAY GOLD HOOPS

VELVET CAMEO EARRINGS

BIRKIN-INSPIRED MICRO BAG

P.S. More great fall dresses and fall accessories, too.

P.P.S. On surviving failure.

P.P.P.S. On coming to terms with the end of a friendship.


My Latest Snag: Vibi Venezia Velvet Furlanes.

I am super excited about my new velvet furlanes (seen above on founders Viola and Vera Arrivabene; come in several other colors, and under $100!) to pair with floaty fall/winter dresses, especially when working at home or hosting guests. Perfect when you want to feel pulled together but still comfortable — an elevated slipper. Especially perfect with a nap dress — did you see they are launching velvet and tartan options October 20th?! I can’t wait. I also feel like the forest green color and velvet material are helpful for “winterizing” year-round dresses — for example, you could pair with a Julia Amory dress and feel just-right for fall, and then wear that same dress with leather sandals in summer. I might even pair with some of my summer dresses, like this white mini I wore constantly, and throw a sweater over top, during these transitional days where it’s 50 degrees in the morning and 70 in the evening. Or imagine pairing the velvet slippers with white jeans and a white tee and a little sweater around the shoulders. Love! See below for more chic inspo from the brand’s Instagram account…

I have to say I was torn between the velvet green, which feel so appropriate for the holidays, and the hot pink seen immediately below! I’ve seen a lot of chic peas wearing these hot pink Velvet Chanels around (including my girlfriend Jen Hunter and HHH founder Nellie Diamond) and was momentarily inspired. But the greens will go so well with all of my fall wardrobe picks and tartan everything!

vibi venezia furlanes
vibi venezia furlanes
vibi venezia furlanes
vibi venezia furlanes
vibi venezia furlanes
vibi venezia furlanes
vibi venezia furlanes

You’re Soooo Popular: Le Padded Headband.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

the fashion magpie best sellers

+Ulla Johnson cardi.

+The padded headband I’ll be pairing with everything I own.

+Chicest clogs to pair with fall dresses.

+Spanx’s “perfect pant.” Love that this could be worn to work or with cool sneakers and a sweater on the weekend.

+Ribbed stretch u-neck — perfect for layering beneath statement cardigans to show a tiny bit of clavicle, or tucked into a fall skirt.

+Stunning blouse.

+BEST eyeliner (under $10).

+Manolo-inspired mules.*

+Gorgeous statement mirror. (20% off!)

+Nicola Bathie velvet pumps.

+Letterpress thank you note set (under $20!)

+Chambray ruffle collar blouse.

+My current running shoes.

+Classic cableknit crew for $40.

+Oversized sweater.

+$20 loafers for a little man.

*Note on these: I find they run wide, but are fairly comfortable. A reader reached out and said she received hers and felt duped because the picture did not match the shoe perfectly. That led me to investigate my shoe versus the picture on the site, and I agree — the pictures are not exactly accurate! The heel is slightly higher and the shoe is slightly wider IRL. However, for $50, I think they are pretty remarkable (and comfortable). I got them in navy — you can see me in them here. I did want to call the discrepancy out, though — thanks to the reader for alerting me to this so I could share!

Weekend Musings: Sweet Somethings.

As I tucked mini into bed the other night, she asked me: “Why do you call Mimi [her name for my mother] every night?” I replied: “Because she’s my mommy, and I love her. I hope you call me even when you’re all grown up and out of the house.” She frowned, and then her lip quivered. “You mean only Hill will live with you then?” I realized immediately the fault in suggesting that there might be a time she would not live with me (such a move is so far beyond her ken, it’s unfathomable — possibly traumatic to contemplate) and was quick to reassure her that such a move was not imminent. She thought about this for awhile. “Well,” she said, finally, turning her nose up in the air in defiance, “Even when I’m growed up, I’ll build a house next to yours.”

Wild how these sweet, narrow expressions of love and unwavering attachment can absolutely bring you to your knees when you least expect it. I was going to pause here and ask you to share some of your own “sweet nothings” — some of the tender little morsels your children offer up to you that remind you of your centricity to their world — and I realized these aren’t “nothings” after all. They are the fiber of love.

So what are the sweet somethings you’ve received recently?

Post-Scripts: Velvet Dresses + Sweater Headbands.

+This velvet mini comes in such a great color.

+Another fun headband to love.

+Another fab fall dress. (Y’all loved this one — I ordered in the burgundy.)

+Considering buying mini this coordinating cord dress!

+This plaid statement bag is darling (and under $150!)

+A great lamp for a bedside table.

+Sweet scalloped birthday card.

+Simple gold bracelets to mix in with your everyday stack.

+These striped pajamas are beyond adorable and can be monogrammed!

+CHIC houndstooth jacket.

+This silk Vince dress is super elegant in that winter white hue, especially with brown suede boots or velvet heels.

+Love this plaid, flounced button-down, especially with suede accessories.

+Cute pearl hoops.

+Straight up love this table.

+These $20 sweats come in such great (on-trend) colors, especially the taupes/browns.

+A great layering dress.

+Lululemon Define jacket vibes for less.

+Pretty handmade earrings.

+ICYMI: great movie recs in the comments on this post.

It’s officially October, so bring on the Halloween plans and decor! I’ve been sprinkling in some great Halloween finds over the past few weeks of posts, but thought I’d collect them and a few new fab finds in this Halloween shop (shop below, too) and mention a few notes:

+If you can’t be bothered with wearing a costume yourself, grab a great sweater instead like this or this, or an orange half-zip with jeans and velvet furlanes! Also love this saucy peak fall top with high waisted black denim.

+If your school or play group has prohibitions against candy/treats but you still want to send something fun in, check out these cute Halloween-themed fidget toys. Imagine wrapped up in cellophane with a bow and a little gift tag like this.

+My children’s Halloween pajamas were just marked down to 25% off!

+If you are on the hunt for a Halloween outfit for your little (pre-costume), a few favorites…

TRULY LOVE THIS BELLABLISS

PUMPKIN APPLIQUE LS POLO FOR YOUR LITTLE MAN (ALSO IN GINGHAM)

A PASTEL TAKE ON HALLOWEEN

SWEET PETER PAN COLLAR PIMA DRESS

PUMPKIN TURTLENECK FOR BENEATH OSH KOSH OVERALLS

THIS BLUE FLORAL DRESS IS PRECIOUS

I’M BUYING MINI THIS STRIPED, EXAGGERATED COLLAR DRESS

SIMPLE ORANGE GINGHAM

P.S. Halloween costume ideas.

P.P.S. I have been thinking about this post on the early grief associated with this pandemic. Things have progressed and changed so much since that post, and I can’t yet contextualize it.

P.P.P.S. Something new I’m collecting.

First: run. I found Diptyque candles in all the good scents on sale, and I’ve literally never seen them on sale before. I love Feu de Bois and Figuier in fall/winter and Baies all year round.

Second: the bric a brac of what I’ve been reading, watching, thinking about lately — windows inside.

+Currently listening to Circe as an audiobook. This is one of the best books I’ve read in the past decade and I just had occasion to gift it to an old friend. I felt inspired to revisit it myself, this time in audiobook format, which my friend Inslee told me was beautifully narrated by Perdita Weeks. It is gorgeous, imagistic writing and wonderfully narrated. I remember describing the prose as “springloaded” after my first read and — yes. The tempo, the density of the images, the depth of the research and literary tradition that uphold it all. Absolutely spectacular. The opening line sends a shiver right down my spine: “When I was born, the name for what I was did not exist.” On a literal level, this is true: Circe is daughter to a god and nymph, somewhere between divine and mortal. But I shiver at the subtext: she is prelinguistic, unable to be named, mold-breaking, dissent itself. She is beyond language, beyond identifier. There are no antecedents. And there is an allusiveness to the opener, too: she is speaking herself into being, which is powerful in that Miller is also inviting Circe — the sidelined, misunderstood woman — to tell her own half of the story. Exquisite, powerful writing that operates so masterfully on so many levels. (A full review here, but the TL;DR: do not miss this book. And if it’s audiobooks you’re after, my favorites here!)

+A few chapters in, Circe, secretly aiding a wounded Prometheus, observes that “Bold action and bold manner are not the same.” Pocketing that: beware the flash with no substance. Alternately: actions speak louder than words.

+I stayed up until midnight finishing the new Rooney book last night (my entire fall reading list here). I will share a full review once I’ve let the book percolate for a minute, but for those of you struggling to clip into the book: persist! There is a gorgeous segment towards the end of the book that reminds me of some of her earlier novels and it is delicious. I’m not sure the epistolary segments of the book “work” — the format felt overly convenient, a bit flabby, as a mechanism to advance the intellectual development of Eileen and Alice — but the cinematic bit at the end is where she soars. It starts with the lines: “Only then Eileen saw him, Simon, standing at the Church door watching her. They looked at one another for a long moment without moving, without speaking, and in the soil of that look many years were buried.” I was transfixed by this passage, by “the look” Rooney captures via such limited description, and then the tumble of memories that spills out afterward, some borrowed from Simon and others from Eileen, and the way we shuttle between them. No one writes modern-day chemistry like Rooney. There is something stirring about the way the characters really sit in their own bodies in her writing: we are always aware of their hand movements, their hair, the feeling of salt air on skin, etc. There is a tactile immediacy to her prose that electrifies the relationships she draws.

+I have written a lot about the period of my life that ran from college through my early 20s, and how untrammeled and “opened up” life felt to me at that time. Age and the inevitable ups and downs of experience have disabused me of those sentiments, largely in a good (grounding) way. Rooney captures the exact sensation I recall from that period of my life so well in her book: “All my feelings and experiences were in one sense extremely intense, and in another sense completely trivial, because none of my decisions seemed to have any consequences, and nothing about my life–the job, the apartment, the desires, the love affairs–struck me as permanent. I felt anything was possible, that there were no doors shut behind me, and that out there somewhere, as yet unknown, there were people who would love and admire me and want to make me happy. Maybe that explains in some way the openness i felt toward the world–maybe without knowing it, I was anticipating my future, I was watching for signs.” The optimism, the self-centeredness, the flanerie of it all resonates with me at 20.

+While on the subject of youth: Olivia Rodrigo’s teen angst anthem”Brutal” is on my running playlist at the moment, which — wow. I listen to the lyrics and I am shuttled back to the thwarted desire and painful self-consciousness of seventeen! “All I did was try my best // This the kind of thanks I get? // Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah) // They say these are the golden years // But I wish I could disappear // Ego crush is so severe // God, it’s brutal out here.” Wow. The agony of being seventeen!

+From a parenting book whose source I do not know (it was excerpted on Instagram): “A lie is a wish that comes out sideways.” We’ve encountered our first few untruths from mini recently, all of them innocuous enough, but I have been wondering about how to point her towards honesty in an authentic and non-pedantic way. The other night, she shuffled some chicken beneath a napkin when my back was turned and presented me with a clean plate, anticipating correctly that they cleared plate would warrant a cookie. When I discovered the discarded chicken, I was torn between laughter (there were many evenings I hid peas in my milk as a child) and a teachable moment. Ultimately, I tried to explain something about her ill-gotten means, about deceitfulness as an unkindness, and she turned to me and said: “Why do I always have to follow rules?” Which…hm. I fumbled my way through an answer but there is so much to reflect on about rules, rewards, deceit, truth. Why is that sometimes parenting feels like an elaborate and persistent invitation to the metaphysical stuff I should have figured out a long time ago?

+Listening to a lot of old John Prine in these parts. I am still riveted by this song. Listening to a lot of Brandi Carlile, too. “Right on Time.” Wow.

What’s on your mind? What are you reading and watching?

Post-Scripts.

+Things that mattered to me at 18.

+On getting my driver’s license.

+On wandering through life while studying abroad.

+More from that tender-footed time in my life here and here.

+When Mr. Magpie visited me abroad.

Shopping Break.

+This blue and white print dress is all I want to wear!

+Shared these recently but super love the cut and color of these jeans.

+Fun tile-print headband in great fall colors.

+A few readers are already preparing their Christmas lists and checking them twice and have asked for toy suggestions for little ones. I will share some ideas in the coming months but in the near term, I have three toy posts that might serve as a good starting point: toys you won’t mind leaving out, toys my children have been loving lately, and slow-burn toys.

+Speaking of the holidays ahead: have always loved this wreath, and it’s currently 20% off! (Look for less with this — just tie your own velvet bow on the front!)

+And speaking of gifts for littles, my current favorite gift to give to children between 2-4: this book and a plus plus tube.

+Just ordered this cashmere polo sweater in the kalamata color. Love this new neckline style for myself — feels elegant and different. I’m imagining tucked into wide-leg crop denim/pants. Love the color!

+Speaking of green, I cannot stop tripping over myself admiring this new Pam Munson bag in the emerald croc. IN LOVE!

+And these $25 rainboots remind me so much of Hunter’s far more expensive style — so chic in that olive green color!

+And a cute green dress for a little love, too (under $20!). Would be sweet with a hair bow like this in the darker green shade.

+ICMI: Loft has some fantastic finds at great prices.

+Need this sweater for my holiday dresses.

+Another easy way to feign festiveness on Halloween: throw this gingham collar on over a white tee or sweater you already own.

+A great belt to throw on over any summer dress to make it feel more seasonally appropriate.

+Little English does the cutest printed turtlenecks — love these cherries for girls and these mallards for boys.

+This short-sleeved cashmere tee is such a great price and I love both colors — so chic for transition-to-fall! Also love this peplum cashmere sweater tee. So chic and in such great colors. (Currently 25% off to boot!)

+Speaking of cashmere, Bellabliss is now selling adorable cashmere baby sets…too cute as a gift for a fall baby.

+Fun fall gingham blouse. Makes me want to go apple picking!

+So many fab accessories.

+Agua Bendita’s latest dress release is SO cute.

+Love this pendant. (More great lighting here!)

+Drawn to this slouchy, oversized, affordable cardi.

+Also love this fringed wrap sweater. These Southwest-inspired sweaters are all the rage RN!

+These school memory books are darling.

+Punchy coat for a little lady. (More adorable outerwear picks here.)

*Picture above has nothing to do with this post, but how much do you love this decorated Eataly door?

Alert! Rebecca Taylor is offering an extra 25% off already discounted prices with code FRIENDS25.

Don’t miss —

THIS CAPED SWEATER

THIS INSANELY CHIC RED DRESS

DRESSY PANTS — PERFECT AND SO ON TREND WITH A TURTLENECK AND SUEDE FLATS

THIS BLOUSE IS DOEN-MEETS-HORROR VACUI AND SOMEHOW UNDER $60

FUN (!) CAPED BLOUSE TO PAIR WITH YOUR FAVORITE DENIM

ALWAYS GET REQUESTS FOR CHIC WHITE DRESSES — THIS ONE WOULD WORK WITH BUMP, FOR A FAMILY PORTRAIT, FOR A LOWKEY BRIDAL AFFAIR, ETC!

AND IN MY CART: THIS POPLIN BLOUSE IN THE TAN COLOR…I LOVE EVERY DETAIL!!!!

A few other accessories seen in the collage below, mixed in with the sale pieces above: my favorite velvet headband, the only style I’ve yet seen that could convince me to try a Mary Jane, navy velvet slippers, Pam Munson Lady Bag, Khaite denim.

rebecca taylor sale finds and how to style

Second important note: lots of fun new arrivals at J. Crew worth a look. I am specifically loving…

THIS STRIPED TISSUE TURTLENECK — LOVE TO LAYER STRIPES OF DIFFERENT WIDTHS SO WOULD PUT THIS OR THIS (VIBE FOR LESS WITH THIS OR THIS) AROUND MY SHOULDERS WHILE WEARING

THIS SWEATSHIRT IN THE ADOBE CLAY IS SO GOOD

PRETTY FALL PLAID BLOUSE WITH HIGH-WAISTED DENIM

LOVE THESE LOW-HEELED BOOTIES TO PAIR WITH WIDE LEG CROPS AND FALL DRESSES

LIBERTY PUFFER!!!

THIS BLACK PUFF-SLEEVED DRESS IS UBER-VERSATILE…WEAR WITH CAT EARS FOR HALLOWEEN AND CALL IT A DAY

P.S. “Sometimes a little tenderness // Was the best that I could do.”

P.P.S. “Something elastic happens to time once you become a mother. An hour can feel like a lifetime, and a year can zip by so quickly it nearly erases itself, and the malapropisms and baby grammar and peek-a-boo along with it.” More here.

P.P.P.S. Three popular Etsy finds: this blouse, this evil eye necklace, and these labels for your little one’s gear.

*Image above showcasing Carolina Herrera x Wes Gordon. Swoon.

My final installment of fashion queries for the month of September! See volumes I and II here and here! Per those previous posts, I always get a lot of questions about what to wear as a bride and what to wear as a wedding guest, so have been keeping those shops updated!

Q: Graduation weekend outfits (was rescheduled from 2020).

A: Congratulations! A few festive but practical outfits (I feel like there is always a lot of walking/standing these weekends!) I love for participating in ceremonies, attending parties/gatherings, etc:

NAP DRESS WITH SUEDE MULES OR KITTEN HEEL BOOTIES OR VELVET SLIPPERS

WIDE LEG JEANS WITH A CASHMERE POLO SWEATER OR STATEMENT SWEATER OR TIDY TURTLENECK BODYSUIT AND SUEDE BOOTS

STATEMENT DRESS LIKE THIS, THIS, OR THIS WITH SUEDE BOOTS OR KITTEN HEEL MULES AND A PADDED HEADBAND (SEVERAL OPTIONS IN THIS POST)

FALL MINI DRESS (ALSO LOVE THIS) OR SWEATER DRESS WITH FLAT BOOTS

The vibe here is “collegiate chic, but make it festive.” (You can always just throw a statement headband on with a dress you own, too!) Congrats, friend!

Q: A classic crossbody.

A: Splurge picks: Celine, Gucci, or Mulberry. More reasonably priced: Clare Vivier. Classic shape, but with interesting colors/details. (This snakeskin one is over half off!). I also love this Oroton bag I just came across — Hermes vibes for under $300! Insane budget buy: this Birkin-inspired steal. So chic!

Q: Formal wedding guest dress.

A: Fun! I have a bunch of fabulous options here, but a few I’ll call out:

WOW THIS NAVY SATIN NUMBER IS SO ELEGANT AND I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S UNDER $250

THIS ULLA JOHNSON

THIS BROCK (WOW WOW WOW)

FIRE ENGINE RED

THIS RUCHED SLIP DRESS WITH THESE EARRINGS IN YELLOW

VELVET SALONI

BLACK GOWN (OR THIS ONE) WITH THESE FAB SHOES

THIS SPECTACULAR REFORMATION

Q: Looking for a classic luxury tote – do you have a favorite?

A: The two I use most heavily are my Goyard St. Louis in gray and my Pam Munson straw tote in the larger size. I love them for different reasons. The Goyard is super lightweight and goes with everything. It’s my throw-and-go bag; great for schlepping things on an everyday basis, including with children. I basically used it as my baby bag for both children. My Pam Munson makes me feel a bit more coordinated — more of a statement piece, aesthetically — and it carries a lot (!). It is pretty heavy/bulky on its own, though, so I would not recommend if you are going to be carrying it over your shoulder for a day out or going out to eat at an NYC restaurant (would take up a lot of space on floor/table).

Two other ultra chic ones I adore: this Loewe and Chanel’s Deauville tote,

Q: Dress for fall family photos.

A: I shared some thoughts here, but my advice is always the same: start with a piece you love for yourself or for one of your children and radiate outward from there. It’s too hard to not have an anchor print/piece! A few dresses I personally love at the moment that I would structure a family photo around…

ONE OF MY MOST-WORN DRESSES — LOVE THIS BECAUSE IT IS VIRTUALLY SEASONLESS, COULD BE WORN WITH LEATHER SLIDES IN SUMMER OR SUEDE BOOTS IN FALL

TIERED CORDUROY (OR A CORD MINI) FOR A MORE CASUAL VIBE…LOVE THE TEXTURE AND SEASONALITY…CUTE WITH A PADDED HEADBAND AND BOOTS, AND EASY TO MATCH WITH CORDS ON YOUR MAN/BOYS

SPECTACULAR BURGUNDY

IF IT’S PASTEL YOU’RE AFTER

IF YOU’RE FASHION-FEARLESS — J’ADORE

BURGUNDY BOTANICAL

THIS PRINTED TERRACOTTA

THIS ULLA

GORGEOUS SHIRTDRESS — BLUE AND WHITE IS ALWAYS CLASSIC; BOYS COULD WEAR JEANS AND WHITE BUTTON-DOWN AGAINST THIS

BLACK WATCH CLASSIC

Q: A first birthday outfit for my son; the party theme is LumberJACK (his name).

A: So cute! Right now, this is a very on-trend theme. There are so many darling shackets/sherpa pieces to pick from. I’m thinking along the lines of this sherpa-lined button-down (or this overshirt), tiny jeans, and the cutest boots (I loved these on both mini and micro), or these more practical ones, which micro had last winter.

And for you, mama: this shacket and these jeans.

Q: A light brown/tan closed toe shoe for a wedding.

A: I wear these suede pumps constantly. They dress up nicely with a cocktail dress! Also love these Manolo-inspired mules for a less formal vibe. If you are game for a higher-heel, these platforms would be super on-trend.

Q: White maternity dress for photos at 8 months pregnant.

A: Congratulations, mama! I love this Rachel Pally, this one with broderie anglaise detail, a classic shirtdress, and this inexpensive style.

Q: Maternity-friendly sweater dresses to get me through late fall and winter.

A: Congrats, mama! I love this one (not maternity but would work with bump), this one in black (so versatile – pair with statement flats and a padded headband!), and this polo style (this neckline is so trendy at the moment).

Q: 30th birthday dinner outfit in Boston at the end of the month. Just had a second baby, so not too tight!

A: I feel like this, with velvet heels and a statement headband like this or this, is the ticket. Festive, seasonal, on-trend, flattering, not too tight. If you want something more gussied up, I’m swooning over this Ulla with these mules. Another exclamation point: anything from Johanna Ortiz’s latest collection, like this. So unique and absolutely breathtaking. Also love these styles from Cara Cara, SEA, and also SEA.

Q: Fabulous shoes for my rehearsal dinner! Not necessarily white.

A: Congrats, bride to be! There are some fab shoes here worth a gander, but a few to call out:

THESE JIMMY CHOOS

THESE FEATHERED/BROCADED BEAUTIES

FLORAL MULES

LE MONDE BERYLS

MIU MIU

Q: Super comfortable ankle/Chelsea boots for travel.

A: Envious of your travel! I find Loeffler Randall to be the best quality boots out there, so would encourage you to check these ones out. They do run narrow, so factor that in in terms of comfort/sizing. I like their simple, streamlined styling! These suede moc-boots also look very comfortable — kind of like a more stylish Ugg. Finally, I wore these all winter long last year and highly recommend. It’s more of an aesthetic and I don’t think it dresses up as nicely as a classic leather/suede style, but very warm and very easy to wear.

J. Crew Factory has so many great deals on fall and winter basics for little ones! (Barn jackets for under $50! Classic gingham button-downs for under $30! LS tees for $10!) Below, a few great scores from there mixed in with some of my other favorite fall finds for little gents!

A few other great finds in this vein…

PULL-ON JOGGERS

PLAID BUTTON-DOWN

NEW BALANCES

$6 THERMAL TEES — GREAT FOR LAYERING!

SHERPA VEST (AND LOOK FOR LESS)

MONOGRAMMABLE LS POLO

HALF-ZIP IN GREAT COLORS (UNDER $20)

SHERPA-LINED FLANNEL (UNDER $20!)

KHAKI SUPERGAS

LS POCKET TEES (OR SS ONES!)

TARTAN BUTTON DOWN (YOU CAN MATCH HIM IN THIS!!!)

CORDS

LACOSTE LS POLO

While you’re at J. Crew Factory, a few great deals for YOU, mama:

THIS DUDLEY STEPHENS-ESQUE FLEECE TURTLENECK (LOVE THE ACORN BROWN STRIPE!)

MY NEW VELVET HEADBAND

JUST ADDED THIS HOUNDSTOOTH SKIRT TO CART — SOOOO CUTE

LOVE THIS TARTAN DRESS FOR FAMILY PHOTOS PAIRED WITH GLITZY WINTER ACCESSORIES

STACK OF THREE PEARL BRACELETS (MAIS J’ADORE)

And for your little lady, don’t miss this darling wool coat in cherry red!

P.S. Fall footwear and coats for littles.

P.P.S. Family photo outfit ideas.

P.P.P.S. Is there such a thing as a categorically difficult childhood age?