Bellabliss is offering 40% off some amazing pieces. I love this brand because I feel like they do a good job of walking the line between being tailored/classic while also being playful/not fussy. I find this brand runs a tiny bit small, so would size up if in question. A few items you might consider —
THIS STRIPED POPOVER DRESS — SUCH AN EASY FORMULA FOR EVERYDAY DRESSING PAIRED WITH INEXPENSIVE OLD NAVY LEGGINGS AND A BIG NAVY BOW
THIS BLOUSE — MY OTHER NO-EFFORT FORMULA FOR DRESSING MINI IS PAIRING A STATEMENT BLOUSE LIKE THIS WITH LEGGINGS, A CARDIGAN (<<ALSO ON SALE AND THE HEATHERED PERI IS SUCH A GOOD COLOR THAT MINI WEARS ALL THE TIME), AND A BIG BOW
PRINTED PIMA TURTLENECK — PERFECT FOR LAYERING BENEATH OVERALLS (<<ALSO ON SALE WITH CODE BFCM25…NOTE THAT THIS STYLE RUNS NARROW; I WOULD ADVISE SIZING UP)
THIS FOOTBALL CARDIGAN…I AM BEGINNING TO REALIZE THE WINDOW OF TIME WHERE MICRO WILL TOLERATE THESE SWEET PRINTS IS QUICKLY CLOSING
PATTERNED LEGGINGS — I USUALLY BUY SOLID LEGGINGS BUT LIKED THESE AND AM CONTEMPLATING PAIRING WITH THIS FUN CARDIGAN
If you’re an anticipator like myself, you might want to consider snapping up one of their classic first-day-of-school pieces. They release many of the same pieces (or variations on them) each year, so this is an opportunity to get a classic piece at a discount. Mini wore this dress to her first day of school two years ago, and I also love this shortall for a little boy and this matching dress for big sis for the occasion.
Ellifox, one of my favorite children’s boutiques, is offering 30% off some fantastic brands. They carry many of my favorite styles from Little English, so though LE is also offering 25% off sitewide with code BFCM25, you can get them for a tiny bit less at Ellifox (30% off). Worth a look (I bought almost all of these items, but a few were sold out in my children’s sizes!):
I BOUGHT MINI TWO OF THESE LILA + HAYES SETS (ALSO GOT THIS WREATH SET) — I FEEL LIKE THE WHITE TOP THAT COMES WITH THE FIRST AND THE BLUE LEGGINGS THAT COME WITH THE SECOND WILL BE GREAT TO PAIR WITH LOTS OF OUTFITS, AND THE DUCK PRINT LEGGINGS ARE FUN FOR FALL!
TRULY SHOWSTOPPING SAL E PIMENTA DRESS — I JUST LOVE THE DETAILS
LITTLE ENGLISH JAMMIES (SIZE UP A SIZE) — LOVE THESE ANTIQUE CARS AND THESE CANDY CANES (<<BOUGHT THESE FOR MICRO AND MINI)
LaCoqueta is offering 25% off sitewide. I’ve been eyeing their gorgeous dress coats for my daughter for ages and might take the plunge by ordering a size up and hoping it will stretch this season and next. (I do find they run small.). Mini’s Thanksgiving dress is also on sale and it could totally work for a holiday dress, too — I also love it in the dark pattern — and these perfect velvet shoes are also discounted. Finally, if you have a little lady around 2 years of age, I have to say these diaper sets are a surprisingly good investment. I bought a few in a size 2 and mini first wore them as dresses and then wore them as tops with leggings when she was 3. I also think they make patterns (especially the pink one linked) that can work across seasons. The pink could be wore with a cableknit sweater and tights in winter, white leggings in spring, and gray knee socks in fall.
Finally, if it’s pajamas you’re after, you are in luck…a few favorite styles on sale now:
P.P.P.S. Sending some love to all the moms-to-be and new moms out there.
By: Jen Shoop
Did you read The Other Bennett Sister? This is one of the four books that eased me out of my reading rut earlier this fall. The novel imagines the untold story of Mary, sister of Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, and, for obvious reasons, is a delicious escape for those of us who consider ourselves Austenites. The book has its flaws — I found the beginning terribly slow and the self-denigration of the protagonist heavy-handed to the point of irritating. I also found the novel’s initial asynchrony with contemporary mores startling. This is a book that attempts to fully occupy the mind of a Regency Era woman, with prudeness and temerity in spades, and not the faintest glimmer of modernity until perhaps the final fourth of the book, when we are led to believe that Mary suddenly discovers her sense of self, sexuality, etc. On the one hand, the arc is not atypical from a bildungsroman perspective, but it felt as though — overnight, while traveling to Scafell — Mary begins to flex muscles I did not even believe capable within the construct of the novel. That turbulence aside —
This book is a delight to be enjoyed hearthside this holiday week, should you find yourself with time on your hands. And there are lovely stretches of self-awareness that ring deeply true. Frankly, I needed to hear this passage, when a suitor asks Mary’s opinion on a subject in front of the bullying Miss Bingley:
“Mary considered. Whatever comment she made would provoke a sneer from Miss Bingley. She supposed she could say nothing at all, or confine herself to the blandest possible observations, hoping not to excite that lady’s contempt; but to her surprise, she felt herself disinclined to be cowed. She would say what she thought, and Miss Bingley could make of it what she liked.”
Last year, I began to accept the fact that I cannot control how other people react to situations. The notion unlocked something for me. While I continue to be (I hope!) a fairly deliberate person, considering how my behavior or comments might be perceived or might impact those around me, it has been freeing to realize that my efforts to accommodate others can only go so far. At the end of the day, I must let people be themselves. And I must also let myself be me. I do not want to play a dilute version of myself, dull as dishwater on account of agreeableness. This means accepting that my perspectives and objectives will not always dovetail with those of others.
My father recently forwarded me an email from an elegant friend of his who disagreed with him on a matter of military history (I guess this is the stuff of epistolarity between two highly educated men?) and, at the end of his polite rebuttal, added: “One aspect of civilized people is that we can agree to disagree.”
On the heels of that note, a friend of mine wrote me a very thoughtful analysis of Sally Rooney’s Beautiful World, Where Are You? in which he noted:
“There are numerous examples I could cite that are quite simply beautiful. But there are two images in particular that are burned into my memory. They are the image of loneliness as symbolized by “the single fork and plate on the draining board” after Simon has finished a meal alone in his apartment, versus the image of hope, companionship, and promise symbolized by the “two empty bowls [that] had been left in the sink, two spoons, an empty water glass with a faint print of clear lip balm on the rim” after he and Eileen have made love and subsequently enjoyed a bowl of ice cream. Is there a more poignant image of the young Millennial professional, who lives his/her life in quiet loneliness, than the “single fork and plate” left after a meal? The juxtaposition of a single utensil versus utensils in twos is both affecting and effective. I could also write a very, very long email–one that would put you to sleep!–about how beautifully she demonstrates the need for patience and humility when communicating with one another.”
There is I believe an important thread here, one that strings together primum non nocere (“do no harm”) on the one end and carpe diem (“seize the day”) on the other. I am chastened to remember, as my friend put it, “patience and humility when communicating with others” and emboldened to recall that, as my father’s friend put it, “one aspect of civilized people is that we can agree to disagree.” Now to find the right balance…
+ICYMI, I absolutely love Rooney. I am now realizing I am overdue for a review of her most recent novel but frankly my friend’s notes above far exceed my own analysis!
Shopping Break.
+On the recommendation of a new friend, I’m going to read Donna Tartt’s Secret History next. I know people love this author but have never read her work.
+I can’t stop thinking about two dresses: this Ulla and this HVN. Spectacular!!! The latter has been sitting in my cart since I first laid eyes on it last week and I keep thinking I need it for Christmas Eve? Even though I had a different outfit picked out? (I already ordered this plaid La Ligne, which is now sold out in the navy plaid, but OMG THE FIT OF THIS DRESS IS SO SO GOOD. I will for sure wear it somewhere else this season. We have a holiday brunch, a holiday tea, a holiday cocktail party already on the books so I’ll slot it in somewhere! Anyhow, frankly I would buy it in the black or gray plaid if you can find it in your size. The fit is so flattering and dramatic. Sometimes you can just tell the quality of the clothes by the fit and this feels like something tailored to my body!)
+If you like the La Ligne dress but not the price, check out this J. Crew.
+If it’s sequins we’re after: this Ann Taylor dress is drop-dead gorgeous (!!! and 30% off ATM) and I also think I need to have this $30 top.
+Obsessed (!!!) with this belted “coatigan.” I love it in the blue color but black is also versatile and why do I also think I need the red?
+I know many of you are Dudley Stephens lovers and just discovered that their entire site is 25% off with code GIVECOZY. I ordered one of their Park Slope fleeces over the summer when I found it on sale at Tuckernuck and I have to be honest: I like mine but don’t fully understand the hype? Like, it is a nice weight and very warm but I would not put above any of my other fleece/sweatshirt-type pieces? I think it’s possibly that it feels a bit more structured/elevated than your run-of-the-mill athleisure top and I get that appeal. But — just my two cents. I would not say it’s intrinsically superior to other items I own in that category, but I have reached for it, especially cold weekend mornings when walking Tilly. I like that it can layer beneath a puffer when really cold without being really bulky.
+This cardigan has been a best-seller all season and is now on sale!
+Just ordered one of these “heat tech” turtlenecks for layering — just a brilliant idea! Thin enough to layer under a nap dress but insulated!
+This blazer is haunting me, too. With black velvet trousers?! Or my black watch tartan high-waist trousers?! (Mine are sold out — past-season Ralph Lauren — but you can get a similar vibe with these or — not sure of quality but the cut looks chic — these. YOWZA.
+And speaking of tartan pants, Talbots generously sent me a pair of their Soho leggings in tartan and I can’t wait to pair them with my metallic Chanel captoes and a cape situation. (More tunics/capes/ponchos in this post.)
+I keep some “emergency” activities in my gift closet for slow weekends — just bought this “shrink art” kit, this felt ornament kit, and these holiday-themed puffy stickers to keep my little ones busy.
+These mini bottle brush trees would also be a fun sensory play add-on, especially with some of these arctic animals. More sensory play ideas here and more indoor activities for toddlers here.
+LOVE this necklace as a layering piece. More heart necklaces here, including this $35 statement necklace I’ve been layering with a lot of my ivory sweaters/blouses this winter. Currently 20% off with code BLACKFRIDAY20.
+I love this plaid throw blanket. It makes me want to curl up and read or do some Black Friday damage from my phone in front of a fireplace.
+Rifle Paper is offering 30% off nearly everything with code VIP30. They make the most gorgeous gift wrap — I just ordered a few rolls of holiday paper (this and this — with code, it ends up being $1 more than most of the Target styles!) and a few of my favorite children’s gift wrap for birthday parties. I love having it on hand!
+Mr. Magpie’s favorite sweats/lounge pants are 50% off in the merlot color. Trust me – pick up a pair as an add-on gift for your man and he will be very happy with you.
+30% off at Nicola Bathie with code blackfriday. I’m especially loving her emerald pieces, like these studs and these drops.
+20% (or more — spend more, save more) the must-have feather trim Sleeper pajamas here.
+30% off Laundress products with code JOLLY. I absolutely love their products, as I recently shared. Treat yourself to beautifully scented sheets and towels with one of their fabulous scented formulas (my personal indulgence — I launder all our clothes in Tide, which I find the best on stains, but it is heaven climbing into bed!) and snap up their wool/cashmere shampoo, which has honestly saved me a fortune on dry cleaning. Throw in one or two of these brushes — my secret weapon for stains!
+Everyone’s favorite Lake Pajamas has an excellent sale section. This is my favorite style they have, but I just added this poplin pair to my cart. So classic! Love the green stripe. And a bunch of their children’s styles are discounted, too!
+No blanket code, but some fantastic markdowns at Intermix and Shopbop, including this SEA blouse, cable knit cardigan, and Clare Vivier tote.
+Sunhouse Children is offering 40% off sitewide with code GRATEFUL. I had been eyeing this suit for mini and was able to snag it at a steep discount for next summer.
+25% off at 1212 with code BF25 — they make the softest onesies for babies (my favorite for my children when babies — love the stretchy head opening and the fact that they have two snaps to close versus the standard three…) and the cutest printed pajamas.
+Madewell is offering 30% off everything with code OHJOY. Don’t miss this cute dress, this wear-with-everything cardigan, and everyone’s favorite jeans — they truly are the best. Mine arrived and I haven’t taken them off in three days. They are contemporary-feeling but not too “out there” or trend-y. A modern classic.
+Petite Plume pajamas are 15-20% off at Maisonette!
+Elemis is offering 30% off everything. I really love this makeup-melting balm. It smells like heaven and leaves skin so soft, cleansed, and hydrated. I gave it to my mom for her birthday!
+Carter’s has marked down a ton of their pieces and is offering free ship as well. I just picked up this coverall for micro — it is SO cute and only $8 (shipped!) I love the waffle fabric! I also love this evergreen pair but it was sold out in micro’s size.
+There are some good deals at Etsy, including 20% off these darling cardigans, these name puzzles, and these bow sandals for littles; 20% off these fun earrings in red or sequin for the holidays; and 20% off this dog collar (perfect for a holiday photo).
I’ll be sharing some additional sale finds later this week — I have it on good authority that two other favorite brands of mine, Everlane and Cleobella, will be launching sales later this week that are worth a visit. Everlane has such great sweaters/fleeces — my mom often buys all of us matching sweaters from there for the holidays!
A peer of mine, Sarah of the blog “Fewer and Better,” recently asked to profile me as a part of her “What’s In Your Closet” series. She’ll be publishing it on her blog in a few weeks, but one of the questions she asked was about the five most special items in my wardrobe. Most of the pieces that sprang to mind were gifts or inheritances from my mother and grandmother, but the first item on my list? The hot pink Louboutins seen above. I’ve written about these elsewhere, but —
These are shoes that know how to have a good time.
These are shoes that wink, that want to dance, that splash a little champagne over the rim of the coupe as they make the rounds at a cocktail party — but with an elegance that makes you forgive the oversight.
If she were a car, she’d be a convertible with white leather interior. She’s impractical but so style-conscious you overlook it. She’s coquettish like Marilyn but doe-eyed like Audrey. She might be seen taking a roast out of the oven, but she’ll also enjoy a gin martini in the corner booth.
These shoes invite imagination. Sometimes clothes just do that to you — they conjure a mood so powerfully that you can’t help but fall under their spell. I feel that way about many of the pieces from Ralph Lauren in particular. As an example, I look at the fair isle knit skirt and sweater I shared here and I am flung into a montage of fall moments on the back roads of Connecticut, surrounded by leaves and wood-burning fires and a lot of people wearing things like tweed and driving gloves. And I think: “Oo, am I that woman?”
Yes. Fashion can invite you to be that woman, and also the movie starlet wearing hot pink heels to a Hollywood party, and also the ski bunny wearing mukluks and a sherpa vest, and also, and also, and also —
A woman contains multitudes. Fashion often reminds me of that truth, in turn urging me not to hem myself in. I can wear sneakers one day and knee-high boots the next, just as I can be a mother and a lover of pop music and a Catholic and a chick-lit reader and a serious student of poetry and a dutiful daughter and an embarrassingly competitive Scrabble player and a bug-hater and a nature-lover and a reluctant cook and an avid baker and and and and and and
+Two fabulous pairs of shoes that evoke similar sentiments to the above: these Birmans (swoon) and these Aquazzuras (I can’t EVEN with the bow). Those girls want to DANCE.
+Also hoping that by the time this post is live, these moire and feather mules will have been discounted as a part of a Black Friday promo. I need them! Can’t decide if I need them more in black or pink…
+While we’re talking pretty, glitzy things, Rotate has some really fabulous sequined pink pieces that I can’t stop thinking about. I love this dress and this skirt. Get the look for less with this $128 steal, which would be so chic with an ivory crewneck cashmere sweater.
+We’ve been entertaining a lot more recently — I am considering buying this to keep tabs on all of our guests and menus for both practical and sentimental reasons. (Sometimes it’s easier to pull out a menu that worked well!)
+Contemplating ordering this wreath for our front door. Love the dried citrus! Would add a velvet or grosgrain bow.
+Pretty $14 bow for you to wear this holiday season.
+I saw these oyster shell Christmas trees in a boutique in St. Michael’s — how cute?!
+I mention this all the time, but I live for pouches, especially clear ones. I like to use these inexpensive ones for stowing overflow cosmetics and samples under my sink. I have separate ones for different categories (i.e., hair care, skin care, cosmetics, etc).
+Another great utility buy: these round makeup removing pads. These are so helpful on nights I can’t be bothered to scrub my face or when I want to remove all makeup to reapply before going out for the evening. Wet with water and everything comes off!
+How fun are these cocktail stirrers? Imagine tied off with a green grosgrain bow as a hostess gift! (And maybe mix up a batch of these and bring along with you!)
+This velvet maxi skirt comes in two fab colors and is only $30. I’m drawn to the champagne with a ladylike blouse!
+I love Gathre mats with children — these changing mats wipe clean and are fold up really small in a diaper bag, and I still use our large size allll the time when my children are doing sensory play or having a picnic in the living room or even coloring with markers — but found this brand is very similar and has great patterns!
+Pretty little key ring (can be personalized) — sweet gift for a new homeowner or teen whose just gotten her license!
All of the sudden, I want emerald green everything. It started with these furlanes and now I’m adding green (especially green velvet!) to cart left and right. I just ordered this Ulla-esque cardigan in the fetching green color to layer over nap dresses, and I think I’m going to pull the trigger on these green velvet pumps to wear on Christmas Eve. (However, I also just discovered these adorable Olivia Morris slippers on sale for $130 and am finding them hard to resist…but how many green velvet shoes does a girl need?!). I’m absolutely loving these emerald trousers for the holidays, too…so chic for cocktail hour, and couldn’t believe the price on this satin slip dress (under $150) for an elegant winter wedding look. Finally — a velvet mini skirt! So chic with a sweater or blouse and statement headband.
P.P.S. You must try this cocktail. I’m actually about to whip up a batch for our dinner guests in a few hours!
P.P.P.S. What energy are you putting out into the world?
By: Jen Shoop
My Latest Snag: Holiday Accoutrements.
This week was about panic ordering things I’d forgotten to order, including gift wrap (detailed all of that at the bottom of this post) and velvet bows (to tie napkins) for our Thanksgiving table — I ordered mine from this small Etsy vendor in a dusty salmon color but she appears to have sold out. These are similar, and I’ve heard Mrs. Alice has lightening fast shipping in case you’re in a similar boat. I also realized I didn’t have enough taper candles (!!) and ordered this set in the nick of time in the most gorgeous olive green, which is a near-perfect pair with our garland (just arrived and looks beautiful!). Looking ahead, I’m going to try to plan ahead for our Christmas table. You can get velvet bows in tons of colors at a great price (but takes 1-3 weeks to ship!) from this Etsy shop, so contemplating some green velvet ones for Christmas. I also am absolutely swooning over these tartan “tuxedo” napkin rings and wondering if I might be able to find them on sale somewhere during the Black Friday madness since they are rather pricey. A few other fantastic finds:
Weekend Musings: “You Become What You Think About.”
I recently witnessed an unpleasant exchange in which a public persona was being harshly and in my opinion gratuitously criticized by a commenter, and part of her response was: “You become what you think about.” I visited with my sister later that evening and, as we sat curled up under blankets, we unpacked the concept. We ended up taking it more in the direction of goal visualization than I believe the persona initially intended (I think she meant something along the lines of “you earn back the energy you put out there”), but it was enlightening nonetheless. My sister noted that she once took a journaling class and the facilitator prompted her to define her goals by writing out exactly what it would look like to have achieved them in the narrowest of senses, i.e., “what would a day in your life look like if you achieved x goal?” (And the goals could be anything — relationships, work, parenting, finances, fitness, health, etc.). I realized that I have always been disciplined about documenting goals and imagining the contours of meeting them, and that taking the time to articulate exactly what it is I have wanted has helped me — even subconsciously — manifest them, or work towards manifesting them. I have even written down the big, scary ones that almost feel laughable to put in writing. I’m talking about things like earning an executive job title, or purchasing a vacation home, or having five children (!!!) — not that those are mine in particular. In business school, they call these “BHAGs,” or “Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals.” (Really, it’s part of the MBA patois.) Don’t be afraid of the BHAG! Write one down somewhere private where only you can see it. I think you will be surprised to find yourself working towards that goal in the background, making micro-maneuvers that draw you closer. It’s along the same lines of those sport psychologies that encourage the athlete to “visualize the golf ball going in the hole” or “imagine the basketball going through the hoop.” If you build it, they will come…
I’ve been thinking on this a lot this past few days, about the way we give life to what we give energy to. It’s a useful mnemonic for digging myself out of moments of pettiness or frustration with others. Why would I dwell on those unpleasantries? It’s horrifying to repeat to myself “you become what you think about” when I am stewing on something not particularly gracious or interesting. That’s not where I want my arrow pointed. I’d much rather focus my mind and heart on things that fulfill me or that draw me forward, closer to where I want to end up.
What do you think of the quote? Does it resonate?
Post-Scripts.
+Urgent: Madewell is offering 30% off everything through 11/22! I shared my favorite finds from there here. They generously gifted me a few items, including this hot pink sweater and this adorable plaid dress and I’m loving them all!
+Also urgent: every year at this time, I feel compelled to remind you of the Krinner Tree Stand. I am convinced this contraption has saved countless marriages. It is hilarious how many of my friends agree that putting a tree in a tree stand is a continuous source of marital friction! This makes the process so much easier (Mr. Magpie can basically do it on his own), and the stand is far sturdier and better-designed (it has a huge tank for water!). It is so worth the investment!
+We are thinking of purchasing a fire pit for our home. How gorgeous is this one?
+I must buy my mom this croissant ornament. She loves a good croissant!
+This Gap puffer is perfection! The colors are so good! The olive green reminds me of this much-more-expensive style from SAM.
+Another fool-proof gift for a four or five year old: walkie talkies! My children love playing with these.
+Cute Stoney Clover-inspired pouch…fun gift for a little one/tween.
+These scooters are even better looking than the ubiquitous micros!
+A random but lovely indulgence — hang this on the inside handle of your closet, or on a hanger or knob in your closet! Your clothes will smell like heaven!
+Speaking of Yamazaki, I still love these tosca bins and they’re currently (at time of writing this post) on sale for only $23!
+These stocking holders are attractive and low-profile.
+I feel like every dude loves shorts like these that work as swimming trunks, fitness shorts, or just loungewear.
By: Jen Shoop
I ordered mini’s Christmas dress a week or two ago and it appears to now be sold out in nearly every size but a handful. There are still a few in the bishop style in smaller sizes! I couldn’t resist the wreath embroidery and of course mini’s favorite color — blue! For micro, I was planning on ordering the sweater and cord short situation seen above but they’ve sold out in this colorway in his size in the sweater! Trying to decide if the blue is Christmas-y enough, or maybe I could swap in another sweater (or look for less with this)? Alternately, I’m considering these handsome green velvet trousers with a solid green sweater and navy tuxedo slippers (meep!), possibly layered over a white or tartan button down.
A: I shared all my favorite little boy finds here (all items I bought for my own son), but my current favorite uniform is corduroy overalls from either Little English (25% off with code BFCM25) or Osh Kosh paired with patterned turtlenecks and finished with either Hunter boots or Sperry boots, depending on weather. My other fool-proof outfit is long-sleeved Lacoste polos, which he’ll wear with jeans, cords, or even fleece joggers.
For you — I would pick up some reasonably-priced, on-trend knits, layer over tissue turtlenecks, and pair with a few new pairs of jeans (I picked up these and these) or cords you’re excited about. I’m also loving layering turtlenecks beneath dresses this season, including this tiered cord style and my Ellie nap dresses. Planning on doing the same with this plaid mini and one of Daphne Wilde’s styles, which are at the top of my shopping list at the moment.
MORE OF AN OUTERWEAR PURCHASE BUT THIS IS JUST SO FUN AND DIFFERENT — COOL WITH MARANT BOOTS OR LUG SOLES
Q: The perfect teacher gift.
A: I’m newer at this because gifts were not allowed at mini’s prior school (we just contributed to a cash pool), but this year, I bought a few tins of my favorite holiday teas and am going to bundle with these monogram mugs for each teacher. I also like the idea of giving personalized note pads like these or these. I also can’t imagine a person who wouldn’t love these fleece-lined mittens on cold school mornings (they are my personal absolute favorites!). There are a bunch of other under-$30 gift ideas in this post — perhaps if you know the teacher well, something there might be a winning idea?
Q: Stationery for my 20-something son’s stocking.
A: Ooh, I love this idea! I might have to borrow from you! All of my favorite children’s stationery finds are in this post, but some top picks:
Q: Fleece/teddy jacket that is more dressy than sporty.
A: I got you! This J. Crew style is like a fleece that’s gone to finishing school — tres tailored. If you mean more in the sherpa/shearling direction: j’adore this & Other Stories! The details are great — love the collar and those welt pockets. Meanwhile, this sherpa/puffer hybrid would turn some heads!
Q: 30th birthday present for my boyfriend, who is impossible to shop for! Under $500.
A: Guys can be so tough to shop for! A few gifts that are total classics, almost all of which I’ve purchased Mr. Magpie…
COMANDANTE MANUAL COFFEE GRINDER — FOR A TRUE COFFEE SNOB (DETAILS HERE, BUT THE ELITE CONSIDER HAND-GROUND BEANS SUPERIOR TO ELECTRICALLY-GROUND BEANS)
Q: A Christmas gift for my brother’s fiancee, under $50. Maybe a bride thing? Not sure.
A: So sweet! (Congrats!). What about a monogrammed jewelry round (with her new initials, if she’s taking a new name) with one of these must-have dazzle sticks tucked into the wrap? If you’re willing to splurge a bit more, these Shop Surcie ones are gorgeous, and I’ve gifted these sweet Smythson notebooks to brides-to-be in the past (alternately, you could personalize one of these plain ones). And one of my favorite gifts from my own bridal shower was an LL Bean tote with my new last name on the side! We still use it constantly, and it was such a thrill to have something with my new moniker on the side.
Q: More universal gift recs regardless of age or gender — ex: the dried pasta you like.
A: Love this prompt. A few things we absolutely love in our home that would be fun, well-vetted gifts…
P.S. More food gift ideas here; more chic gifts for anyone here; and gifts under $30 here.
Q: Chic top to wear with wide leg winter white trousers in January for a rehearsal dinner in NYC.
A: Congratulations! And how incredible chic?! My first thought was feather-trimmed 16 Arlington or LaPointe, which are major statements but WOW. Cult Gaia has a similar one for a little less. A few other chic options in the same festive lane:
Not ivory, but I feel it incumbent upon me to mention again these $30 Target cords and these navy velvet Max Maras, which are just soooo chic.
Q: A statement desk under $600.
A: I love the simplicity and clean lines of this PB style. Add a statement lamp like this or this and/or desk chair and you’ll have the chicest work perch on earth.
I also like this lacquered grass cloth style — or, for a totally different vibe — this wood desk, which feels like it belongs in a writing cabin. Just looking at it makes me feel productive, as though I’d be inspired to write a modern Walden.
A: Love this look — I shared a bunch of chic lug-soles, many in a chelsea style, here. I have to say that Madewell just generously sent me these lug sole boots (under $200) and JE SUIS OBSESSED. I’ve never worn this style of boot and it makes me feel v relevant. I also super love these waterproof Sam Edelmans, especially in that on-trend ivory hue. For a more polished look, check out Aeyde’s styles, like this sophisticated black pair or this twist-on-a-chelsea in suede.
Q: Bridesmaid (black, long, formal) black tie wedding dress for an April wedding in D.C.
A: This is spectacular. I’ve heard such good things about this brand! I also love this dress, though the bust area could be a bit too va-va-voom depending on the event, and this one looks fun to twirl in. Finally, this one has a Jennifer Aniston-on-the-red-carpet simplicity to it that I’m drawn to.
Q: Every day bag (small).
A: Are you tired of hearing me talk about my new J Link bag from Marc Jacobs? It truly is the perfect size and the colors are so interesting — it goes perfectly with everything in my fall wardrobe! It comes in a few other colors/sizes, too, in case you prefer black or ivory. I also love this Hermes-inspired mini bag, especially in the fun yellow color, but it comes in other colors (including saddle brown). For an investment, a girlfriend of mine has one of these Loewe Hammock bags and it is SO chic (and configurable!). Other options I love:
In case you’re stuck looking for inspo for children over the age of six, a few fabulous finds. A big ticket item? A motorized ride-on car, and might as well make it look chic! Two of the families in our neighborhood have them and while it is mildly terrifying to watch, the children love them.
In the morning, my daughter comes to my bedside and whispers that “Mella is awake” before padding off to her bedroom to wait for me. When I enter her room, she often asks me, “Are the lights OK?” as I squint into the unwelcome incandescence. This diminutive consideration routinely startles, then warms, me and I reassure her and thank her for her thoughtfulness before raising the blinds.
Last week, moving through this familiar routine, I was struck suddenly by the unfamiliar:
The maple tree in the cul de sac out her window, for so long a shock of orange-y red in the silver-blue dawn, stood bare, a brindle of branches.
How had it happened? Winter had crept in, cat-like, and stolen the last of autumn.
I was flooded with nascent nostalgia. The first fall in this house, likely to be our forever home, now gone, and so, too, the final vestiges of my daughter’s babyishness. Here now is a young lady who asks me whether the lights are too bright for my taste.
Despite my assiduous, continued efforts to slow down and appreciate the present, time continues to pilfer from me. I’ve nearly deleted the previous sentence four times because I am frustrated with the persistence of this refrain in my writing and my thoughts on motherhood. But, here we are, on the other side of the punctuation mark with no novel insights as to how I can better “live where my feet are.” I continue to find it hard to sit down and watch my two-year-old put puzzle pieces together for the umpteenth time without simultaneously itching to clear the breakfast plates or answer the text from my sister or begin to load a digital cart of groceries. But — this is my one wild and precious life! I torture myself imagining I am spending too great a share of it behind my screen, or preoccupied with chores. When I am old and gray, I want to remember my son’s pudgy baby hands manipulating the pieces and his chirpy little commentary and his joyous hop after placing the last piece and to thank myself for taking the time to drink him up in his two-year-old glory. That is, to exclaim, principally to myself, some words borrowed from a poem in praise of a “normal day” –
Let me hold you while I may!
This, then, is my resolution for the holiday season: to pop up above the cloud line in the midst of the sunshowers and realize I’m in a golden moment while I’m living it. I want to lay under the Christmas tree looking up at the lights with my children, just as I did with my sisters when I was a child, and let that moment hang out and breathe. I want to enjoy an extra cup of coffee in my pajamas and slippers watching Mr. Magpie assemble the Lionel train around the tree with our children, resisting the urge to get everyone dressed and ready for the day. I want to sit in front of the fire drinking Harney and Son’s Holiday tea and reading a book or working on a Christmas puzzle, dismissing the call to fold laundry or check my phone. I want to make dozens of holiday cookies without getting too fussy about the smushed and finger-printed ones my children leave behind, or the amount of chocolate they’ve licked from the bowl. I want to sit outside watching the children run around in the first flurry without worrying about bedtime.
I want take this season as slowly as I can, because I can already sense it’s a Christmas I’ll never forget. The first holiday season post-COVID, post-New-York, with my parents and in-laws and sister and her family down the road and two children who understand the contours of Santa Claus. There must be an obscure German word for this feeling: the anticipation of nostalgia. The fact that I have experienced this sensation twice in the past few weeks suggests that I am living high on the hog at the moment, and —
+My most treasured holiday cookie recipes — I especially love my Grandma Carm’s “Horns.” I made them in NYC last winter when we did not come home for the holidays and I farklempt the entire time.
+The other day, I stumbled upon this old post inspired by an interview with my girlfriend Inslee, and the provocation is: stop what you’re doing, periodically, and ask yourself What are you doing to enjoy the day?
+I just panic-ordered like ten rolls of wrapping paper. I had a full cart of Sugar Paper x Target gift wrap and nearly all of it sold out before I clicked “order”! Thankfully, a lot of the Wondershop patterns are cute this year, too, so just ordered a bunch and will order some Rifle Paper to supplement (waiting to see if they run a Black Friday deal). My order:
+One thing I feel good about: I made sure all the gift wrap patterns had some red in it and bought a bunch of red velvet ribbon. Now am mulling over which personalized gift tag to get, but know it will need to prominently feature red so it all ties together. A few favorites:
+I also found these clever personalized gift stickers for gifts from Santa — in case your children are beginning to understand the resemblance between your manuscript and Santa’s.
+Oo, I’m not usually a black dress gal, but this would be a workhorse in my closet. So chic!
+ZOMG, J. Crew nailed it with these feather-trim moire mules! The perfect exclamation point for your holiday wardrobe. (Feathers are everywhere at the moment!). Would elevate and add interested to a straight-forward black velvet wrap dress like this.
+And I predict this tartan dress, also from J. Crew, is going to sell out in a NY minute.
+OMG! How chic is this advent calendar for children?! Super similar to the one we use with our own!
+I referenced this above, but get thee to Harney & Son’s Holiday Tea. It’s a cup of Christmas cheer! I just ordered this four-pack of the holiday-themed teas (20% off with code HOLIDAY21) and some of these initial mugs for teachers at mini’s school and will bundle a mug with a tin in cellophane and tie off with a ribbon.
+I also love the idea of personalized notepads like this or this for a teacher gift.
+I’m intrigued by this Kate McLeod “stones” — moisturizer in bar form that melts right into skin.
+Despite the fact that I’ve been thinking about Christmas for weeks now, I *just* got around to ordering holiday cards. (Yikes, just under the wire.). I’m working again with my girl Erin Wallace, and she’s making a variation on this style for me. Chic chic!
+After years of wearing a lot of denim, I’m finally branching out and wanting all the trousers.
+If you’re celebrating Thanksgiving somewhere warm, have this shipped to you overnight and be the talk of the table.
+I’ve been talking about Juliska’s holiday china pattern for ages now and just treated myself to a few of these mugs as a starter kit. Looking forward to enjoying my holiday tea and coffee out of them all season long!
+How gorgeous are these matching stockings?! The tartan trim!
+Did you order holiday jammies yet? I ended up ordering candy canes for mini and micro (25% off with code BFCM25) as well as these “antique toys” classic jammies from Petite Plume.
+Have we already discussed this $240 velvet slipper chair?! It is SO good! Reminds me of Jonathan Adler and comes in such fab colors. Considering for my office…
+I shared some chic valet trays from Billy Kirk in this post as a potential gift for a man and they’ve sold out. I also love this leather style with a fish from Orvis and this wood trim one, too. The perfect answer to the pile of coins, keys, sunnies, etc that typically accrue on a kitchen counter!
+The latter brand also carries a watch case that is super attractive. A potential add-on if you’re gifting a handsome watch…
+This anything-but-boring white blouse is on sale!
+This mini lipstick set is such a fun beauty gift! I did end up snagging the Westman Atelier set as a gift, too!
+Just added this well-reviewed cookie cookbook to my cart.
Old Navy has some truly fabulous pieces out at the moment, including the sherpa coverall micro wore all last fall/winter (seen above, with Vans sneakers in a great racing red color) in two new colors. These and a few other great children’s finds, most at fantastically reasonable prices…
And — don’t miss this find! — if your child has a more common name, this Etsy shop has adorable knit name hats for only $28! I’ve paid multiples of this for similar styles from small boutiques. (Any Hunters or Lukes?)
P.S. More great knit hats and cold weather gear here.
P.P.S. More adorable children’s finds here and here.
*Image above via the chicest boutique, Pietra Madrid.
I saw a post on Instagram a few weeks ago that made the point that much of the day-to-day work that goes into parenting — especially for stay-at-home parents — is invisible to most of the world. No one is ever going to recognize you for ordering hats and gloves at the end of summer so you’re prepared for the first frost, or meal-planning on your phone to ensure your child has a diverse and interesting diet, or doing the mental math to ensure you have enough snacks and diapers for your next trip out, or running back upstairs to grab someone’s lovey because you know it will be needed come nap time in the car. And yet these tiny, unseen tasks add up to a full-time job — and that’s not even accounting for the emotional labor that goes into parenting! I’m talking pure logistics here. Mr. Magpie and I were reminded of this during our trip last week, for multiple reasons. First, despite my efforts not to intimidate my parents-in-law (who graciously stayed with our children while we were on the Eastern Shore), I still handed them a three-page-long guide full of important numbers, notes, and scheduling details. Typing out the order of operations prior to school in the morning scared even me, a multi-year veteran of the morning rush. Second, preparing for only 48 hours away from our children required a herculean effort in the days leading up to the getaway. There were extra groceries to be ordered, arrangements to be made with caregivers and school, thinking through what needed to be laundered, the coordination of timetables, etc. Finally, our first morning waking up in the hotel room, I remember glancing at the clock after (bliss of bliss!) reading in bed for an hour or so, and noting it was 8:07 a.m. “Let’s get coffee and walk around — that way we can be back in time for our 10 a.m. massages.” In my head, I assumed that by the time we’d gotten dressed, brushed teeth, and bundled up, it would be at least 8:45 a.m., maybe a little later, and then that would give us a leisurely hour for coffee, pastries, and meandering around St. Michael’s before we’d need to head back. I was mystified when, instead, we were out the door about 10 minutes later. I realized I’d not accounted for the fact that I did not have two wriggling children to inveigle into getting dressed and coax into coats. There were no pitstops in the pantry to grab snacks, “two minute warnings,” or last-minute sprints to the toilet.
I would be lying if I didn’t say that it was — nice? reassuring? — to have my parents-in-law tell me, “Wow, there’s a lot that goes into this!” when we returned. They’d been through it themselves raising Mr. Magpie and yet it is so easy to forget all the slender maneuvers that go into a day of looking after young children. Frankly, I’d partly forgotten myself given how in the weeds I’d been for 2.5 years without a single night away. I’d become inured to its intensity. And so it felt lovely to have that labor seen for some reason, and it brought to mind a mnemonic from a different sphere:
A few years ago, a Montessori school teacher told me that she preferred to praise children by recognizing their hard work rather than celebrating the final product. I’ve always loved the way Montessori refers to classroom activities as “work,” which is partly made possible by the fact that many Montessori activities are borrowed from household chores, i.e., children learn to polish silver, pour water from pitchers, cut vegetables, arrange flowers, etc., and partly a beautiful, quiet way of suggesting that children — and what they do in the classroom — are important. “Mommy works, Daddy works, and so do I,” is the theme. “I matter,” is the subtext. Anyhow, I watched as this teacher would tell my daughter: “I can tell how hard you worked on this,” and “Wow, look at the shapes over here, I can see how careful you were keeping them in the lines,” and “Ooh, I love the colors you picked out while working on this.” Something inside stirred. I saw at once an echo of the frame of mind I’ve cultivated in my own creative work for many years: process over product.
Along the same lines, there was an interesting essay I came across recently that included the following insight: “College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: ‘I love to watch you play.’”
Somewhere along this breadcrumb trail — somewhere between the invisible labor of parenting and the teacher’s insistence on recognizing process rather than product and the notion that we can enjoy ourselves more when we are being told we are wonderful to behold, regardless of outcome — there is a tie that binds. It’s not about praise or victory — it’s about celebrating the effort. Sometimes all we need is to be seen.
Will be carrying this around with me as I head into Thanksgiving week and think about all the people who make my life possible and whose work often goes unremarked. As an example, there is a crossing guard at the intersection before my daughter’s school and — on a close to daily basis — she enables me to make a difficult left-hand turn in a heavily trafficked school area. My husband and I joke that, were it not for her, the daily drop-off would be protracted by about ten or fifteen minutes, because no one wants to let anyone cut in during rush hour in Washington, D.C. Writing up this post, I’m realizing I need to pause and thank her, and — more generally — need to take this moment as a prompt to step outside myself and let others know I see what they’ve been up to.
+I just ordered these navy corduroy overalls — they are 30% off with code Q4U7!
+ICYMI: these flared cranberry cords are only $30 and this chic sweater skirt for under $100. My mom ordered this fun hot pink sweater dress from the same brand and now it’s in my cart, too!
+My favorite sports bras. Cheap, great colors, good quality, and so much more comfortable than Lululemon.
+In case you’re down to the wire with no Thanksgiving dress: Shopbop offers fast shipping and both this and this are on-trend, seasonally on point, and under $130.
+This sequin midi skirt is SO fun. Another great festive option for NYE or any glitzy affair! (More holiday dressing inspo here.)
+Have you stocked up on wrapping paper yet? My favorites are always from Rifle Paper, but then I mix in the less expensive but wonderful Target x Sugar Paper rolls, too.
+Just ordered one of these velvet jewelry organizers to give as a gift. Substantive on its own or paired with some fun statement jewelry.
+This sweater is so versatile — would look great dressed down with cords or jeans or up with a wool or floral skirt.
+Also love this similarly-shaped $80 sweater — would look fab paired simply with just ecru denim!
+These Story Orchestra books make such great gifts (they play pieces of classical music, and illustrate the stories they evoke), and this one is on sale for 50% off at the time of writing this post.
+These dri-fit fitness tops are super cheap, come in great colors, and would be a good stocking stuffer for a exercise-loving man in your life. Did I mention they have UPF50?! More reasonably priced gifts (under $30) here.
+Just ordered Mr. Magpie some new clothes for the holidays, including these cords. Also eyeing some of these solid-colored turtlenecks for him. Attractive with lighter wash denim.
+Upgrade your house numbers with these chic copper ones.
+Do you buy your dog Christmas gifts? I ordered our Airedale a new name tag (Tilly’s is outdated with an old address on the back), some fancy dog shampoo, some holiday dog treats, and a new toy from her favorite (most durable) brand. Her birthday is in December so I also bought her these birthday-themed biscuits.
