Tis the season! If you’re having friends over for cocktails, may I suggest my favorite festive cocktail? It requires some prep (and a special ingredient in the form of pomegranate molasses), but is absolutely delicious and a little too easy to throw back. We had them before dinner with friends at our home two weeks ago and they were a big hit. And if you’re looking for a hearty, crowd-pleasing appetizer to feed a crowd, here is your answer. Now, to set the table!
I do want to call out two chic discovery: many of you have asked for chic Advent wreaths, and I adore this one I just found on Etsy. Don’t forget the colored candles! You light one additional candle as each week passes, and the third week, you light the pink one — it’s a reminder that Christmas is about to come. Second: how adorable is this holiday baby plate, cup, and bowl set? While on the subject of melamine, these $3 holiday plates would be great for passing out baked goods!
Yesterday, I went running for the first time in two months. The hiatus was unwanted: a heel injury, and then I permitted life to get in the way. It is alarming how easy it is to fall out of a habit. After a few weeks of legitimate recovery, I found it distressingly effortless to continue to punt back my return-to-the-trail. “Not tomorrow because I have x…” and “Not Friday because I really need to run those errands instead” and “It’s Thanksgiving week! I’ll get back to it after the holiday…” Amazing how busy you can become when you allow yourself to pencil in alternatives to exercise in your schedule.
The most galvanizing tip I’ve ever received on habit formation came from a Magpie reader, who said (paraphrasing) that “exercising is not an option; it’s an imperative.” When she said that, I realized how difficult it had been for me to commit to a regular running routine because I had been treating it as a hypothetical. I had to retrain my mind to accept that running was not an “if I have time” kind of thing. It was an immovable block in my schedule, every other morning. I began to rearrange plans to accommodate it. On my calendar, every other morning between 9-10 am was grayed out to indicate NOTHING CAN HAPPEN HERE EXCEPT FOR RUNNING. Suddenly, running wasn’t ancillary to other activities, or that unwanted sixty minute block shoe-horned in after the fact. Because I often think in terms of grammar: running went from prepositional to predicate.
And so this hiatus left me disappointed in myself. I had slid back into my old ways! I’m all for giving myself grace when I need it, but I was really grasping at straws with this one. If I have time to read, I have time to run. And so —
My run yesterday was a tonic I drank thirstily. My body feels better, my mind feels lighter, and something about snapping back into the habit gives me the bracing sensation of realignment, as if I’ve been riding around on a bike with one semi-flat wheel that I’ve just now repaired.
I did something out of character for my run yesterday: I ran free. I did not track my mileage, pace, or time. And — though this was unplanned — ended up not running with any music. Just me, the pavement, the chill of the November air. I am competitive by nature (mainly with myself) and so this arrangement was uncomfortable at the start. How will I know when to pick up the pace? When should I turn around? By and by, these thought bubbles floated away and I found myself running in a way that felt good — invigorating, attainable — rather than hard. I usually push myself. Yesterday, I let myself fall into a gait that felt natural. I ran for completion rather than perfection. I ran just to run.
I think a big learning of the past few years, especially as I have had the time to reflect on my own writing and to offer counsel on occasion to other writers, is that we don’t always need to perform as though we are in high-stakes environments. Sometimes we are, and that’s that: we must muscle up and do our best. But most of the time, pressure is a choice. I can opt to make my running routine competitive, tracking my time and mileage, or I can not. I can try my hand at a new hobby and shrug laughingly at my ineptitude. I can attempt to complete one last to-do or I can give myself fifteen minutes to do nothing at all. I can say no to something that feels stressful. I can journal with no objective but to fill a page with half-formed thoughts. It is helpful, I think, to imagine that I am sometimes in a greater position of control than I think when it comes to the velocity of my daily life.
Post-Scripts.
+On creating a buffer between my work self and my mom self.
+A Bob Seger song I listened to *a lot* while running through Manhattan.
Shopping Break.
+Running in the cold yesterday made me grateful for the investments I made in good running gear last winter. These are my favorite items for exercise in the cold:
TRACKSMITH BASE LAYERS AND RUNNING TIGHTS (SIZE UP IN THE TIGHTS)
+Somehow this heatloft cropped funnel-neck is only $23!!!! I think I slightly prefer the longer length of the jacket and tunic to afford extra warmth around the mid-section but, I mean…$23?! I might have to pick one up, too.
+I have been running with the trendy Hoka One Ones for months now and think I will go back to Nike Flyknits again — Nikes just work better for me. I find them lighter-weight and less bulky.
+This is the only toothpaste my children will tolerate. Currently on sale in a pack of 3!
+How cute are these dino sweatshirts?! Both of my children would love these!
+Micro starts school (!) in January and I just realized I need to order all of his school gear. I just bought him this mini backpack in red (you can get $15 off using code WELCOME15, making it $30!) and one of these classic seersucker monogrammed lunchboxes with his monogram on the front. Mini has the same lunchbox and I like it because it’s insulated-ish (wipeable interior) and fits these three-compartment bento boxes perfectly. I’ve become a huge devotee of the bento boxes because they are microwave and dishwasher safe, the largest compartment is a great size for a sandwich or a serving of pasta (two lunch mainstays in my children’s diets), and I like having two other small compartments — one for fruit and the other for something crunchy (pretzels, granola balls, etc.). Also, they are cheap! So if they get lost or dinged up, it’s not as alarming as when the same fate befalls one of the more expensive bento options from Yumbox or Bentgo. Finally, I find my children can open these boxes on their own, without adult intervention, whereas some of the other models are a bit tricky for younger children.
+This nail polish is stupidly expensive, but the red color is fabulous. I like that it comes in a dramatic Hermes box — thought immediately that it would be a fun gift to give alongside a gift card to a nail spa for a lady who enjoys a manicure.
OK, had to squeeze in one final sale today that I missed earlier: Janie + Jack is offering 35% off sitewite (up to 70% off certain pieces) plus free ship. I feel as though J&J’s discounts are usually 20% at most with current-season finds, and then their clearance section is a gold mine, but this is a unique promotion in that you can get a ton of wear-now pieces at a great price. Free ship always sweetens the deal for me.
If I had a newborn, I would find it hard not to jump on the opportunity to buy the cashmere sweater and leggings set seen above! BEYOND. This would be sweet for a tiny one at Christmas — keep him or her bundled but festive!
I’m using the promotion to buy micro these velvet pants and this plaid button down ($20!) as an alternative holiday outfit — I know we’ll have a bunch of festivities coming up and it’s great to have options — and these suede drivers are also in my cart. He already owns a bunch of their other pieces, including this perfect (!) rugby shirt, only $20 now!, and their straight-leg jeans.
For girls, I love this sweater, this Ulla-esque knit, these cord leggings, and this $26 tile-print dress, which I’ll save for next spring.
And if you have an itty bitty, love this pink knit romper — save for Valentine’s Day and pair with cableknit tights!
On the subject of children, Target and Amazon have some good deals on toys I had to share —
THIS ELMO ALPHABET CASE HAS HAD SURPRISINGLY LONG LEGS IN OUR HOME — BOTH OF MY CHILDREN LOVE IT! — AND CURRENTLY ONLY $10
MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN IN AN EPIC TOY STORY OBSESSION MODE THE LAST MONTH — MINI OWNS BOTH THIS BUZZ AND THIS WOODY AND THEY ARE A CONSTANT SOURCE OF ANGST BECAUSE MICRO WANTS TO PLAY WITH THEM SO BADLY
P.P.S. Many of the children’s sales shared here are still ongoing, and some have sweetened the deal with free shipping today!
By: Jen Shoop
+My most important sale find: the best basic black suede pump on the planet. (seen above), on sale for around $110. I wear these constantly. They are beautifully proportioned, perfect for pairing with everything from on-trend wide-leg trousers to midi dresses, comfortable, a good heel height (not too high, not too stodgy), and will simply never go out of style. I have these shoes in about five or six colors at this point, and have friends who frankly prefer them to Manolo Blahnik’s BB style (which are very similar). I think I’ve had my black pair for at least seven years, possibly longer?, because I remember distinctly wearing them when visiting my sister in New York City before she moved to London, and that was eons ago. They’ve held up spectacularly despite protracted use. (I wear these in all seasons!) I have had the heel tips on this pair fixed several times (I always seem to get them stuck in sidewalk grates and cobblestones) and the tip of the shoe reinforced by a cobbler and those modest investments are well worth the extension of their lives. A total must have.
+While you’re at J. Crew, take a look at this gorgeous tartan coat, this timeless lady jacket, and this $44 sweater (love the width of the collar) — all of which are over 50% off.
+A little late to this sale, but Lululemon marked down their Aligns (!!!!) and must have broken the Internet when they did so. If you’re lucky, you can snag one of the last pairs of this cult-following, worth-the-hype dreamy leggings. They also marked down their classic fitness tees — I have several of these and they are wonderfully designed, super-soft, and ultra-breathable. Come in great colors, too! I would size up a size or two in the tees and go one size up in the leggings. (Life is too short for tight leggings. They live up to their “buttery soft” reputation, but I still prefer the pairs I bought one size up to the ones I purchased in my true size.)
+Up to 25% off at Clarins. (1 item = 15% off, 2 items = 20% off, 3 items = 25% off). Have I talked your ear off enough about the fabulous virtues of their Double Serum? At drinks a week ago, one of my girlfriends was raving about it (preaching to the choir!) and mentioned that she was once in a department store and overheard a woman contemplating purchasing the serum and she went out of her way to join the conversation: “It’s totally worth the hype. Do it!” Haha! This stuff REALLY works. You apply it and see immediate brightening, glowing results. One recent trick: in addition to applying it to cleansed skin first thing in the morning, I apply a dab over my makeup before an afternoon/evening Zoom call and it totally wakes up my skin, so much so that my cousin couldn’t stop raving about how great my skin looked! Clarins is the secret :). Anyway, I could drone on and on about the serum and also their V-Lift facial which is a total lifesaver. I didn’t even realize my face gets puffy on occasion before using this chiseling facial treatment. Finally, if you’re pregnant, you need this. I swore by it while pregnant with both micro and mini and have purchased it for many expecting friends. They say stretch marks are genetic but I think this does help (I had zero) and, even if not, it is so satisfying and hydrating for stretched-out, itchy belly skin!
+Last but not least on Clarins: another girlfriend of mine raved about their men’s collection, which I didn’t even know existed. She said her husband has been using it for years now and he has incredible skin as a result. I used the promotion to pick up a few items for Mr. Magpie’s stocking, including this cleanser and this shave oil.
+Cleobella is running an up-to-70%-off sale (I am wearing one of their dresses in the photo above, but it’s currently waitlist-only). This brand has quickly become one of my favorite sources for dresses that run somewhere between formal and informal. They tend to have a beachy/boho ease to them and have a lot of the same style details (blockprints, smocking, etc) that SEA has, but for about half the price. You can see mini and I in our matching Cleobellas earlier this fall here. A few standouts from their clearance-level sale:
THIS BLUE MIDI — A PERFECT EVERYDAY DRESS IN WARMER WEATHER
THIS $58 MINI IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS — PERFECT FOR A BRIDE-TO-BE, A BAPTISM, A SPRING EVENT!
This one is not on sale, but Cleobella generously sent it to me and though I usually prioritize patterns over solids/black, I have to say — this is going to be a wardrobe stalwart. I love the smocking and the little sleeve, and the eyelet makes it versatile to season. Super flattering on!
+50% off + free ship at Ann Taylor. This sweater dress has been SO popular amongst you Magpies. My mom wore hers in the hot pink color to the Kennedy Center yesterday. So fun and cozy! I also think this ivory cableknit puff sleeve sweater would be a wardrobe workhorse, as would this pearl-detail balloon sleeve knit. And if you are expecting or nursing, treat yourself to this gorgeous wrap cardigan. Perfect length and style for layering over nursing tank and post partum leggings during those early days after delivery!
+25% off everything (including sale) at Serena + Lily. The best time to invest in a piece of furniture you’ve been eyeing, like my beloved Blake dresser or Pondicherry bed. These chic beach chairs (on sale, plus an extra 25% off!) would be a good buy for your next vacation and this scalloped tray has been in my cart forever.
+My navy corduroy overalls are now on sale for under $100!
+Outdoor Voices’ cloudknit joggers for men are on sale for 25% off in all colors. These are Mr. Magpie’s favorites. They run TTS and I’ve turned many gents onto this exact style! I’m not a huge fan of OV’s leggings/fitness wear because I find them very uncomfortable and constricting, but I LOVE these slightly boxy long-sleeved tees, and they’re on sale for $36. In the white, I think you’ll be surprised at how often you wear it, even NOT when exercising. A good basic to throw on with jeans. I also really love a waffle long-sleeve and this style turned my head while 25% off.
+Chappy Wrap blankets are 20% off and ship free with code CHAPPY20. Good fallback family gift, and how cute are their children’s blankets? This would be a sweet stroller blanket.
+Excuse me, but my sherpa puffer vest is 50% off today!
+20% off sitewide at Spanx today. These are my longtime favorite tights — slight compression, opaque, and very well-made. I actually just realized over the weekend that I needed to retire one of my pairs and it was a pair I bought before micro was born and I wear these tights CONSTANTLY. I also know that many of you love their “Perfect Pants” as a go-to for dressier occasions, work, etc.
By: Jen Shoop
Several weeks ago, Mr. Magpie invited me to join a “Reminders” checklist titled: “Thanksgiving Run of Show.” He had broken down all of the preparations for our first Thanksgiving hosting both of our parents, my sister and her family, my aunt, and my sister’s mother-in-law into detailed to-dos, organized by day and time, right down to when to peel the carrots (for Daniel Boulud carrots, recipe linked here) and bake the cornbread (an ingredient in the outrageously delicious and time-consuming recipe shared here).
We’ve spent the last few days drawing out our Christmas decorations and arranging our home for the holidays: stockings now on the mantel, nativity set on the coffee table, mini’s tiny tree ornamented and star-topped in her bedroom. We now light the candle(s) of our Advent Wreath nightly, singing “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” in watchful wait.
Yesterday, my mother took me to Balanchine’s Nutcracker ballet at The Kennedy Center. I’ve seen this version of the Nutcracker at The Kennedy Center many times before but something new struck me this go around: I was moved, this time, by the performativity of the dancers. I sometimes feel this way watching Olympians, too: an awareness that I am in the presence of greatness unfolding, of people performing at their absolute peak, at the highest of stakes. It is a wonder and also — a gift. It occurred to me yesterday that I was the beneficiary of hours of rehearsal on the heels of years of hard work, competition, and commitment.
Last night, our neighbors invited us to their home to celebrate Hanukkah. Our neighbor had arisen at 4 a.m. to smoke a brisket so that it would be finished in time for dinner, and his wife had fried latkes (no small feat!), prepared matzoh ball soup, and arranged cheese boards and dessert plates and everything in between. Over Zoom, an uncle of our neighbors told six wide-eyed children the story behind the celebration of Hanukkah with enthusiasm and patience, his words smooth and easy by virtue of repetition.
I am, today, overwhelmed by the generosities of these preparations. They have reminded me, in this new season of Advent, to prepare the room.
*****
Let every heart prepare Him room And heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing
*******
Post-Scripts.
+Another moving memory born of the holidays — this time in Manhattan.
+This story-telling device for children is on our radar for mini’s upcoming birthday. Love that it is a “screen-free” technology and can imagine it would be special for mini to operate on her own!
+CB2 has a really chic menorah and a fabulous tree topper, too!
The most popular items on the blog this entire year, including the adorable $22 blouse mini is wearing above, which we own in several patterns. It is the easiest everyday outfit with leggings. Above, mini is playing in front of a flocked mini tree I found at Target last year (similar style available this year) and our metal holiday houses (also a Target find last year, but they have similar ones here, here, and here. If you have little ones around, I would strongly encourage avoiding the ceramic ones! These houses are irresistible to tiny hands! I also bought these houses for mini’s bedroom this year. Couldn’t help it!)
2 // MY DEVOTIONAL — HAD NEVER WORKED MY WAY THROUGH ONE BEFORE, BUT IT HAS INSPIRED A LOT OF THINKING…SOME PASSAGES ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS, BUT A LOVELY DAILY (SOMETIMES WEEKLY) HABIT
3 // CLARE VIVIER CROSSBODY — COMES IN A BUNCH OF COLORS/PATTERNS AND SUCH A GREAT EVERYDAY STAPLE BAG…I FIND MYSELF REACHING FOR CROSSBODIES ON A DAILY BASIS, WHETHER WALKING THE DOG, RUNNING AN ERRAND, OR CHASING MY CHILDREN AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD
4 // STATEMENT COLLAR BLOUSE FOR UNDER $100 — SEA VIBES ON A BUDGET
5 // CHIC WRITING DESK — I GUESS A LOT OF US ARE ADJUSTING TO PERMANENT WFH SITUATIONS!
6 // REVERSIBLE QUILTED COAT (MORE TRANSITIONAL COATS ALONG THESE LINES HERE IF YOU’RE IN A MORE TEMPERATE REGION…AND STATEMENT WINTER TOPPERS HERE)
5 // REFLECTIONS ON LEAVING NYC AFTER LIVING IN BETHESDA FOR A FEW MONTHS — I KNOW THIS RESONATED WITH MANY FORMER NEW YORKERS! I STILL GET EMAILS ABOUT THIS ONE FREQUENTLY
6 // HONEST REVIEW OF WESTMAN ATELIER’S FOUNDATION STICK
I did a lot of shopping this past week, buying lots of gifts, occasion-wear, and a lot of children’s clothing with all of the fabulous deals (many of which are still on-going). A few stand-out buys this past week:
Not seen above but had to include: these lounge pants for men. Mr. Magpie’s favorite and a great gift. Select colors currently on sael.
Weekend Musings: Thoughts on Joy.
I was reading something about C.S. Lewis earlier this week and noted that his spiritual autobiography is titled Surprised by Joy. I immediately thought about Rabbi Heschel’s words on prayer I shared earlier this week, in which he observes: “Prayer is our humble answer to the inconceivable surprise of living.” At the same time, I recollected a statement I came across earlier this week on Instagram, in which comedian/celebrity/influencer Tinx asserted: “Female joy is often ridiculed.”
I don’t have a tidy summation of what these adjacencies mean when taken together, but it’s given me latitude to ask: What is joy? To me, it seems like the exclamatory version of happiness, as if happiness has absorbed a quantum of energy. Happiness can be quiet, steady, honey-like — but joy is always in high-key, staccato, sudden. Lewis’s phrase is interesting in that it feels as though I am always surprised by joy — in fact, is joy ever anything but a surprise? Happiness can occasionally be anticipated, but joy catches me unaware. I think that when I now find myself in its company, I will prompt myself to remember Rabbi Heschel’s words and reach for prayer, the necessary response to the call of joy.
Wishing you joy this season, whatever shape it may take!
P.S. These musings reminded me of this post on what happiness is. The comments were so interesting!
Post-Scripts.
+Gap has some fantastic deals going — love these hot pink leggings (you know how I feel about hot pink ATM), these beanies ($12!!! buy one for each of your girlfriends! love the hot pink in particular again), and these ribbed turtlenecks ($20 — #uniformstaple).
+These nutcracker-inspired (Clara-inspired) nightgowns are back in stock! $30.
+People rave about these OSFA swimsuits — on rare sale at the moment. Works with bump!
+These holiday sticker sets came in handy on Thanksgiving morning. Occupied little hands for a long stretch while Mr. Magpie and I flitted around getting everything ready! Great weekend morning activity.
+This top is a great buy — perfect for pairing with wide-leg trousers or holiday skirts.
+I brought my flares out of retirement this season — so glad I hung onto them. They feel fresh again. This pair is close to identical to the ones I own.
+A great purse brush. I am weirdly obsessed with the style.
+Cutest dog tags — bought this for Tilly for Christmas.
+Speaking of dogs, this is the dog bed we have for Tilly — I occasionally get questions about it when it’s the background of an Instastory. Ours is a blue and gray plaid they no longer carry but the tweeds are beautiful! Tilly likes being able to lean up against pillows, so the “sofa” style is perfect for her.
+Pearl embellished beanies at a great price! Cute for a little one (or do a mommy and me moment!)
+Rattan desktop caddy! Perfect for mail, pens, the miscellany that inevitably builds up…
+I know I’m being repetitive here but I find myself wearing my Ellie nap dress with a turtleneck beneath and a statement cardigan on top at least once a week.
+Note: this tissue turtleneck in the hot pink color is only $13 with code.
+If you like the lug sole vibe but find it a bit intimidating, check out these chelsea-style rainboots. Sort of like a calmer version of the bigger deal.
+This wool-blend wrap coat feels like Burberry but costs much less.
+At J. Crew: fur trim mules (went with black — will be so fun with long holiday dresses), this gorgeous mockneck in the perfect pink, and tissue turtlenecks. Mentioned this earlier today, but I think the quality of this year’s batch surpasses that of last year’s. Super soft! Heather platinum is my favorite color out this year but I have a bunch of the others, including stripes, and I wear them constantly. I also already bought this tartan top earlier this season but c’est parfait for the days leading up to Christmas. I always find I’m short an outfit there and want something festive for baking cookies / watching holiday movies with the fam. The top is perfect for that mode with a pair of jeans!
+At Anthro, discount appears in cart: this sequined mini is $133 and your ticket to a happy NYE, and this bow-backed blouse is SO fun for the holiday season and under $70 in cart.
+At Shopbop, up to 50% off (discount varies by item, but many sale items are on sale!). I love…
A GREAT PAIR OF WINTER WHITE JEANS — THE SHAPE + COLOR ARE PERFECT
+At Minnow Swim, 25% off sitewide — I use this and their midsummer sale as a prompt to stock up for the season ahead. These swimsuits are spend-y but beyond adorable, and I love their shorts for boys, which are properly short (well above the knee). I am eyeing these trunks for micro and this rash guard for mini.
+At Reformation, 25% off sitewide — a great spot if you’re looking for an on-trend, sexy-leaning dress for a special occasion. This hot pink ditty is in my cart. I have nowhere to wear it but I simply love it, and can you imagine with my hot pink mules?! I also love this velvet maxi. Meanwhile, this velvet top packs a major punch for just north of $100 on the holiday party circuit. And you’ll be thrilled with yourself if you buy this linen dress in the surrey print and find yourself teed up for a special occasion next summer.
+At Hart Hagerty, 20% off sitewide — I just designed a custom gold link bracelet with the “Mama” heart charm. I love the way the link bracelet looks! It’s currently sitting in my cart and I keep telling myself I do not need a bracelet but I just love it. I would feel better if I were ordering this for my own mom or sister or something. Maybe will order one for an upcoming birthday, since I’m all set for Christmas. But so special and you can customize the charm, which is so fun and meaningful. (But do I need the mama bracelet?!)
+At Net-A-Porter, up to 50% off — don’t miss this gingham SEA top (so fun and easy with jeans), this Vampire’s Wife dress, and this cheery La Ligne sweater.
+At Everlane, up to 40% off — my mom loves to give sweaters/sweatshirts to all of us from here and this is such a good time to buy. I love these turtleneck sweatshirts and this waffle pocket cashmere sweater. This slightly-cropped, lightweight hoodie is also a stalwart in my closet. Great layering piece!
+At Matches and MyTheresa, I’m mildly overwhelmed by the assortment of designer deals but this Emilia Wickstead dress is an investment piece you’ll buy now and wear forever and ever. So ladylike and perfect for more conservative occasions — think baby showers, bridal luncheons, etc. — and would work just as well in your 20s as in your 80s! Meanwhile, this houndstooth envelope clutch is the perfect exclamation point on a fall look! I have been eyeing this brand for awhile. I also love their totes, also on sale!
+At DPHue, 30% off sitewide: I have been eyeing their apple cider vinegar hair treatment products for awhile. ACV is supposed to be amazing for hair, especially color-treated hair. I used the promotion to purchase this leave-in therapy and their classic rinse. Will report back but the discount was too good not to try it!
+At Lake Pajamas, up to 50% off: this pair is currently in my cart for myself on Christmas morning. I’ve gifted these jammies to nearly all of the women in my life but I just realized another girlfriend of mine has not yet been initiated and ordered these for her. As mentioned before, they are my favorite style by this brand and I loved the blue colors.
+This is not a dedicated Black Friday deal, but this Story Orchestra book is only $12 (50% off cover price) and I love to gift these to children. They include sound bytes from classic symphonies and children can press the button to hear them while soaking up lovely illustrations. I bought two of this copy to give to children as gifts. Meanwhile, this sequined mini is somehow marked down from $1100 to $330.
By: Jen Shoop
My grandmother cut an elegant figure. She wore Chanel suits and Quelques Fleurs perfume and ladylike kisslock handbags and Ferragamo shoes and had her hair “done” at the salon. She was exquisitely formal. She did not tolerate uncouthness of any kind. When she entered a room, you felt her presence immediately, and you straightened your back and listened.
One summer afternoon when I was maybe twelve or thirteen, she took my mother and I out to play golf. Even her swing looked ladylike, as though somehow side-saddle. (I would later marvel over this particular accomplishment, as I eventually inherited her clubs and they were heavy, the old-fashioned kind that pre-dated all the lightweight technology we now have. I swear using her nine iron was like swinging a sledgehammer.) Despite the swampy heat of a D.C. summer, she was beautifully arranged, not a hair out of place, and as we drove the cart towards the ninth hole, she pulled a full-sized Snickers bar out of her purse. It was the most delightful surprise. “I always carry one with me,” she said, “In case I get hungry.”
Ha! A woman contains multitudes indeed.
I’m curious — do you have anything idiosyncratic you carry with you at all times?
I carry a gold cross that my great, great-aunt and namesake received on her Confirmation day. It is engraved with her name on the front and the date — June 10th, 1887 (!) — on the back. A talisman of sorts. Something to grab onto when needed, as was the case when I went into pre-term labor with my son and found myself speeding over to the East Side alone in a taxi, calling my mom in sobs. Sometimes I am groping for a lollipop or toy car to distract one of my children and my fingers brush against its shape and I am, to borrow from an earlier essay on prayer, “jarred, in a good way.” It is an article of faith and a relic of family. It always affords perspective, whether of the prayerful or historical kind. The fact that my great, great-aunt wore this same cross on a day of personal significance to her puts me in my place in some way, and also fills me with the warmth of belonging.
What about you? Do you have anything interesting you insist on carrying with you?
I’ll be sharing a handful of Black Friday sale finds later today, but in the meantime…
+This top is SO good in the rose gold color. It’s a variation on the style of this dress, which, as I mentioned recently, I keep coming back to. If I were attending a winter wedding, this would be the direction I’d head in, layered beneath a feathered bolero.
+I did pull the trigger on this sequinned beauty, the other dress I mentioned I kept coming back to. Of course it’s the one dress on the Internet not to be on sale this week, but I just couldn’t not and sizes were selling quickly. Every now and then a dress calls, loudly, to me, and I know I’ll wear this for holidays to come. I think I’ll wear it Christmas Eve but it would also work for NYE.
+Another top pick for a winter wedding or Christmas Eve look. J’adore j’adore.
+So excited I ordered myself this cookie book. I set it aside to to flip through it today with my morning coffee by the fire to pick out some new recipes to try this holiday season.
+Speaking of holiday baking: some of my favorite recipes here, and do I need this tartan apron for the season?!
+I have to say — I ordered a couple of additional J. Crew tissue turtlenecks this season (I feel like I add 1-2 new ones each season…they always have such great colors and these are far and away my most-worn base layers) and, against all odds, I feel as thought the quality of this specific product has IMPROVED this year vs. last. Doesn’t it always feel like things are going the other way, i.e., quality is degrading? Last year’s tissue tees were a tiny bit stiff, with less stretch. This year’s have been ultra-soft and more stretchy and I’m in love. I am specifically in love with this year’s heather platinum color — so, so chic and different from black/white/navy.
+I used Tuckernuck’s Black Friday promo code to buy Mr. Magpie more of these boxers. I always put a pair in his stocking — good underpinnings are underrated!
+PSA: the play kitchen I bought mini for Christmas is now on sale for 30% off, as is this craft library, which my children still love. Just this morning, I woke up and mini had spread all her gear at her table in her room and was making caterpillars using the popsicle sticks and pom poms!
+I ordered mini this $20 sherpa vest in the beige color and might go back for the blue. Mini loves that color and it’s such a fun add-on to any outfit — somehow makes it all look intentional!
+OK, WOW WOW. This Emilia Wickstead is beyond stunning — elegant a la my grandmother! — and is on sale, plus an extra 40%. It is expensive but I’m imagining it for a mother-of-the-bride or maybe a vow renewal or a Baptism or some other major ceremony or occasion. It could even work as a city hall bride option if you’re not wedded to white. The tailoring!
+Poppy Bows on Etsy is one of my favorite small businesses — I have bought bows from her for years. (If I don’t buy from her, I almost always buy Wee Ones off Amazon.) She does such great colors.
+Tartine et Chocolat is a gorgeous, traditional, and highly-expensive children’s brand that I’ve never purchased from but always admired. A few of their pieces totally took my breath away this season, including this gingham bubble and this tiny faux fur coat (the poms!).
+This 2-cardigan set is $24 for the pair and SO sweet/classic.
+If you are going somewhere warm this winter, one of my fool-proof formulas for a chic seasonal wardrobe is to invest in some statement shoes like these Pucci sandals and then pick up inexpensive little white dresses — even something like this $30 white tee dress! Instantly elevated and polished.
+Some great children’s finds on sale this week here.
Reflecting on these words this morning, in equal measure beautiful and profound:
“To pray is to regain a sense of the mystery that animates all beings, the divine margin in all attainments. Prayer is our humble answer to the inconceivable surprise of living. It is all we can offer in return. Who is worthy to be present at the constant unfolding of time? Here we are admist the meditation of the land, the songs of the water, the humility of the flowers, flowers wiser than all alphabets – Suddenly we feel embarrassed, ashamed of our complaints and clashes in the face of tacit glory. How strange we are in the world! Only one response can maintain us: gratefulness for the gift of our unearned chance to serve, to wonder, to love life and each other. It is gratefulness which makes our small souls great.”
–Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel
Happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful for you!
P.S. An incredible prayer that still brings tears to my eyes — my father will be reading it at the Thanksgiving table later today. So special to celebrate with him, in person.
P.P.S. Another moving memory of my father reading a prayer on an important day, plus thoughts on “being bad at prayer.”
I think because so many of us spent the past holiday season apart and isolated under pandemic conditions, this season feels extra extra. I didn’t even hear grumbling from the usual quarters about how we’ve start celebrating Christmas too early. Everyone is leaning way in and showing up with bells on. Think Truman Capote’s black and white ball. Heck, I bet you could even get away with wearing a Venetian mask to your next affair!
Below, a few of my favorite festive outfit finds under $150…
P.P.S. A cocktail to make things even MORE festive.
By: Jen Shoop
When you were young, what superpower did you want most of all?
A reader (hi, Beth!) sent along this stirring mini-film Burberry produced and it immediately brought to mind my youthful musings on the matter. I was always torn between wanting to fly or be invisible. I presume these aspirations to be fairly common for children, as both hint at freedom from authority, and isn’t that the crux of childhood/adolescence for many of us? Nowadays, I am close to allergic to the idea of flight in both the metaphorical and real-world senses. If anything, I have sought out terra firma these past few years, and I have a horrible fear of heights to boot. Mr. Magpie and I used to take guests up to the Willis Tower when we lived in Chicago and the first time we reached the skydeck, I simultaneously burst into tears and let out a hiccuping laugh. It was the strangest thing — it was as if my body could not figure out how to respond to the horrifying stimuli and so it flailed into multiple modes of expression at once. Suffice to say, I could not wait to retreat to ground level. As far as invisibility, a few years ago at a dinner party, Mr. Magpie and I got into a long conversation on this exact subject (our shared childhood obsession with superpowers) and the consensus was that invisibility is only useful to “bad guys,” as people on the straight-and-narrow never have anything to hide. I remember my brother-in-law saying: “I mean, really — what would you do if you were invisible for a day? What possible help could it offer unless you’re doing shady things?” And we all realized that there were no practical or convenient applications. (By the way, the conversation sprang from my daughter’s Table Topics set, which is a funny prompt for dinner time chatter, whether with children or not, though they also have adult versions.)
All of this to say — what superpower would you want now?
I think I would want to manipulate time in some way — to be able to time travel, or teleport, or simply slow down those golden moments to savor them more fully. But on second thought, I’m not so sure. The evanescence of a golden moment only adds to its allure. And while I have on occasion thought of transit time as “lost time,” I also think that driving in my car affords me important processing time, and invites me to call my loved ones and friends with more regularity than I might otherwise muster. I know that many of my friends were shocked to discover, while working from home in the face of this pandemic, that they missed their commutes. “I needed that time to transition from Work Me to Mom me,” one of my friends said. And so maybe transit time is a natural way of affording us pockets of freedom, and tampering with that mix does not promise to be therapeutic. Can I even imagine a vacation without the journey? If I were able to push a button and instantly disembark on a sandy beach, would I be erasing a critical part of what it means to “get away”? Surely part of the psychology of escape is the process of anticipating, navigating to, and then arriving at, the destination. (There was a hilarious and apt article on the closure of National Airport’s Gate 35x, “cursed portal to the rest of America,” in the Washington Post earlier this year that has forever imprinted itself on my understanding of how physical spaces transform experiences, and especially the very physical process of air travel.)
So, what then?
When I think about abilities that would be most helpful to me at this time in my life, I assemble the stodgiest line-up of candidates: patience, cheerfulness, agility in the face of changed or failed plans, gentleness. That is, they take the shape of small virtues rather than majestic faculties.
But perhaps they are superpowers all the same.
What about you? What capabilities do you consider “superpowers” nowadays?
+These cashmere gloves look like heaven and would be the perfect accompaniment to the oat/white stripe La Ligne sweater (<<still a few left, and on sale for $115!) so many of us own. Gorge.
+Just added this just-released book of essays by Ann Patchett to my tsundoku pile. I absolutely loved (loved!) her novel The Dutch House. It’s one of my favorite audiobooks, too.
+Shrimps continues to slay it in the statement earring department. These are just SO good.
+You can get a similar Shrimps vibe for less with these, and honestly I’ve fallen in love with the entire boutique — how amazing are these clover drop earrings and this clover necklace lariat? The shop also sells some fabulous home furnishings/holiday accessories, including these clip-on candle lights for your tree that you can control with a remote, this reclaimed wood console, and this stone guardian angel statue for a garden.
+Talbots generously sent me this vest, which felt like next-level wizardry because I literally mentioned debating between it and another puffer vest in this post, and it showed up the next day. I have been layering it over everything. Super love. It’s shockingly warm, too!
+This bunny romper looks so similar to the much more expensive one I bought my new nephew from Livly (<<though it, too, is on sale ATM!).
+OMG. I can’t believe Longchamp is still making this style of bag. Seeing it was a major throwback. I bought this exact bag while traveling abroad without giving any thought to the fact it had no shoulder strap and, as a young college student traveling nearly every weekend around Europe, I would often be on the hook for lugging it around airports, down narrow Italian city streets, etc. Still, I thought it was impossibly chic and well-designed, which it still is after all these years. Brilliant to be able to unzip the middle panel and earn a couple extra inches of solid packing space. Just would not recommend it for backpacking-esque travel in your college years. But GREAT for car travel! Love the colors it comes in, too.
+While on this subject, two absolute workhorses for travel: this MZ Wallace (ON SALE FOR 50% OFF — RUN! — and I recommend buying it in the medium size; it fits a TON, has a zipper, can be wedged under an airplane seat, and weighs next to nothing on its own) and this Paravel, which is kind of my favorite thing for the inevitable “extra random stuff” that you have nowhere to put, which for me is almost always an extra pair of shoes, a curling iron/my Revlon One-Step, and a bulky bag of cosmetics/skincare. I almost always end up with those items just hanging out on top of my suitcase looking for a home. The Paravel has become my favorite for that miscellany, and it holds a TON. It’s also great for a day trip with children.
+BTW, the MZ Wallace medium metro (again, 50% off!!!) is a great diaper bag. The biggest complaint is that the shoulder straps tend to slip off your shoulder if you’re carrying it for any meaningful amount of time. You can twist the straps under one another to prevent the slippage, but TBH I rarely have carried this for long stretches. I usually hook it onto my stroller/put it in the basket or, if I will be walking a lot, use my MZ Wallace backpack. Anyhow, a full review of the tote here.
+But really, my secret to diaper bags is internal organization via pouches.
+If you want *just a sip* of sequins for the holiday season, these under-$30 earrings are so fun.
+This rainbow of chopsticks is so fun. I bought Mr. Magpie something similar earlier this year, and it brings so much joy to our table!
+I added this faux mini Weber kettle grill to micro’s holiday gift pile. So cute. Mr. Magpie is a charcoal grilling enthusiast and I love that he’ll be able to emulate his dad!
+More great holiday gifts for young children here.
+Jasmine-scented shower gel in the prettiest packaging.
+This turtleneck tunic sweater has been v popular this season.
