Ellifox is having an incredible sale on high-quality pima basics for little ones at the moment. First: difficult-to-find peter pan collar tops almost fully stocked in white and some other great trim colors under $15. Run! I’ve also written about these peter pan collar dresses many times, and they are under $20 in great colors. These are a total mainstay in my daughter’s wardrobe (as seen above). Easiest everyday outfit! Can be layered over leggings if chilly or worn on their own with a big bow and some Cientas, which — OMG! Cientas on sale here for $25/pop, and in great colors/patterns. Almost fully stocked in toddler sizes in my favorite color and style, the navy t-strap, and in mini’s gingham mary janes (seen above). In case you are new here, these have been a long-standing favorite of ours because they wear like a sneaker but look a little dressier and can go with anything from shorts to leggings to dresses (even kind of fancy ones — they still work!). They are also machine-washable. I find using a tiny bit of liquid or powdered detergent on the rubber with a toothbrush also makes them look good as new before a big occasion!
I also did want to mention that Target has some cotton everyday dresses (and some SS ones here) for little ladies along the same lines, though without the darling collar. We’ve purchased a few of these and they’re just so-so on quality — I feel that they show their washes quickly. However, a solid everyday dress to have in the rotation.
And mini loves (!!!) her silver glitter rain boots. The first day she was apprehensive about wearing them because she didn’t want any of the glitter to fall off outside! Too sweet! A really fun boot for a little lady, and Hunter’s quality can’t be beat. Micro has worn his pair of yellow Hunters close to daily doing those intensive things little boys do — jump on EVERYTHING, walk sideways on curbs, etc — and they are still in great condition, and that’s AFTER they belonged to mini first, and she also loved them. Just the best.
P.S. I can’t tell you how many of our friends and family have tested positive for COVID at this point, many within the last two weeks. I have sent so many Amazon packages! In case you’re wondering what to send or need to occupy small hands at home, I wrote a long post on this subject here, but I also wanted to share this post on “slow-burn toys” (toys my children continue to return to, week after week) and this more recent post on stocking stuffers which might have additional ideas that appeal. One thing I’ve been talking with a lot of my mom friends about is how much novelty has been helpful during these long quarantines. Like, they could be looking at a neighbor’s old, tattered coloring book and just because it’s new and different, there is SO much interest. Not to say they need something new every day, but just that — tiny little surprises and borrowed items helped me make my way through the long stretch.
Today, a miscellany of fashion finds I’m into ATM…
+Having a jumpsuit moment. I wish I’d gotten this hot pink ditty from Rachel Comey before it sold out in my size, but I love this army green one from VB, and Madewell always has great styles for less (also this). I like the idea of pairing these with an unexpected Hermes scarf around the neck and a designer bag (seen above) to balance out the utility vibes.
+Speaking of that Celine bag: I haven’t bought a new designer bag in awhile, but feel that now that my children are older and we are out of the baby days, I would like to have something that is somewhere between a crossbody and a tote. I think this Celine is it. Big enough for some kid diversions, a packet of wipes, etc., but small enough to look like it’s a dedicated part of my outfit. I really like it in this unusual forest green color. Then again, this gray style with the dramatic gold hardware?! Ugh. Delicious. I think I will marinate on this for awhile but may take a trip to the store to investigate size (it appears there is a smaller one, seen above, and a larger one) and color more closely. Honestly, I haven’t coveted a designer bag in awhile, but all of the sudden, I can’t stop thinking about one of these new Celine bags.
+I also want to note that there are two lovely-looking look-for-less variations on the Celine here and here. I might be inclined to swap out the straps they come with for one of these webbed ones (quality is so good for the price — I have one of these and I think the hardware looks much nicer than what you’d expect for the price). I am half inclined to buy one of these to see how I like the size/style before making the Celine plunge. Either way, a great “midway” bag for those of us between baby and big kid years. Another possible option: this ultra-chic Oroton. such a great shape and size.
+I think these boxy striped shirts are going to be a part of my new daily uniform rotation. A new silhouette for the new year. Imagine with layered gold necklaces (love this one as a starting point) and fun sneaks like these or these.
+Kule makes socks that make me so happy. I know a lot of us have talked about realizing that constant happiness is not possible but that finding small slivers or pockets of joy throughout the day is, and I don’t know what it is about a pair of happy new socks that brings me a little lift. I first discovered this with my Alo running socks. They are thick and warm and soft and come in the cheeriest colors, and I love the retro fitness Barbie vibes they serve up. Every time I look down while running, I feel the tiniest bit happier. (Also, Wahoowa.)
+Isabel Marant meets SEA at J. Crew prices. I saw this and immediately imagined a cool street style starlet picking up her children from school in it with hair loose and probably that Celine bag I mentioned over her shoulder. So cool!
+Still loving fair isle and found two great options: this pink Kitri and this brown Meadows.
+This $29 top, in the beige color, gives me Carolina Herrera energy.
+If I were pregnant, I’d be all over this dress. Would work with bump and also post-partum (buttons for nursing and a nice loose fit). Also, it looks super soft.
+The colors on these warm boots are fab. They’d totally make an outfit! They also come in a classic neutral. The minute I saw these and wanted to pair them with this fabulous dramatic puffer coat. If you waltzed by me in this look, I’d be mesmerized. Who is that woman? Such great and unusual pieces/colors.
+Adorable bi-fold wallet. Such great colors! I feel like Mark Cross is an underrated genius.
+Not fashion but have to share this random thought: I have been heavy into the “organize and purge everything” mode (ahem) and just discovered this tea bag organizer. Have I gone off the deep end or does it feel curative to imagine transferring the mish-mash of loose tea bags currently hanging out in a big zippered baggie into organized rows in this? I don’t feel the need to always move things from the boxes they came in into tidy clear bins — that feels wasteful to me at times. But here is an instance where I have tons of loose bags in a jumble…
+Also not fashion but could use some intel: is anyone passionate about a kitchen rug/runner (preferably both – we like to have one long one by the sink/dishwasher, 2×6 or 2×7 or something, and one smaller one by the stove, 2×3-ish)? We had this great pair I bought on a crazy sale at OKL that felt right out of the pages of S&L — blue and white stripes and so happy! But they are horribly stained now and cannot be laundered or cleaned. I did find this $15 one (also comes in a cute gingham) that is machine washable and very happy-looking and, at $15, would not make me feel sick if we end up ruining it. (Also, note the non-slip underside.) But the pastel colors are giving me pause — we work hard in our kitchen! And I wish it came in a matching longer runner size. Another thought would be a woven/sisal type but I’d prefer to add color! Any thoughts? Help!
A: Fun! I super love this look with a boho mini like this or this. Very Kate Moss in the 90s? This pair would turn my head (and looks strikingly similar to Marant) but 1/3 of the price. I found them on sale for even less here in very limited sizes. This pair is also fun in the vanilla color in particular.
Q: A black cardigan with pearl details that is more traditional than trendy or Talbots-esque.
A: I appreciate the specificity! I love this textured one — gives me Chanel/Gucci vibes. (Aside: this label has such fun and fabulous knits! This reminds me of Self-Portrait and Alessandra Rich! And yes pls to this.). These similar styles from Maje and Galvan are also lovely and I think walk the line between on-trend and not-too-stodgy you’re after.
Q: 2.5-year-old girls flower dress for BIL wedding.
A: This white dress is absolute perfection with the big white sash. Absolutely swooned when I saw it. They have a similar style in a more formal taffeta material if the event is dressier. I also adore this petal collar dress — scroll down for the toddler sizing. If she mustn’t wear white/it’s a less formal occasion, something like this is both darling and traditional.
Q: Not boring but casual tops to throw on that are not athleisure.
A: I would say striped tees from Kule or Ayr; tissue turtlenecks (if too fitted for what you’re after, check out this style from Everlane); these fitted, ribbed scoop-necks which feel intentional, and like what you might wear if you have a closet full of Khaite; boxy oxfords (or slimmer fit ones); pointelle tees (have a nostalgic, girlish vibe to them I love — look for less with these); and this supersoft top that has just the right amount of interest.
A: Love a classic camel coat. Investment: any of the ones from MaxMara. More reasonable: Reiss or Club Monaco. Under $200: Mango and Mango again (Diane Keaton).
Q: Dress for a black tie wedding (as a guest) in LA this April.
A: Fun! This $220 navy gown still gives me chills. Hollywood starlet, but in a shockingly sophisticated navy. I also love this black lace statement (Carey Mulligan red carpet vibes — heels must be tall), this bronzed goddess number, this sophisticated Galvan, and this Saloni.
P.S. I have been trying to keep my wedding guest dress shop section more up to date lately!
Q: Rehearsal dinner in February. I’m the bride!
A: Congratulations!!! Splurge: Markarian has so many exquisite options — I love this and this. Over the top/trendy option: 16Arlington. (J’adoreeeee!). And Badgley Mischka has a look for less option that feels a bit more toned down here. This Shoshanna is gorgeous, and I feel like it feels festive and memorable without being too dramatic. Cinq a Sept has a sweet one that walks a similar line.
Q: Doormat for under $25.
A: Love this and this! More home finds under $100 here.
Q: A day dress for my Match Day for medical school (March 18)!
A: Wow! Exciting! I own and love this Mille dress in the stripe — it’s the perfect in-between dress for when you want to look stylish/intentional but not too dressy. If you’re somewhere cold, you can pair with suede boots, too. This dress is at the top of my “everyday day dress” list, I LOVE this corduroy, and I have been eyeing this under-$100 style or this one — both are sweet, on-trend, easy to wear. Alternately, a sweater dress would be fab — something like this or this (more ideas here) with some fun boots or flats.
Q: Sneakers for daily casual wear.
A: If you’re talking designer, I like these Loewes and Rag & Bone. For a sportier/street style vibe, I love NB’s 327s and Onitsuka Tigers. For something more classic/less sporty, Supergas all the way. Have owned and loved my pairs for going on a decade now.
Q: Good nude clutch. No visible labels. Under $300-$400.
A: For casual wear, I love this oversized envelope style and it’s well under $150! Feels very Hermes/classic to me. Meanwhile, this Cuyana is as unfussy and classy as they come. For something trendier, Bottega Veneta has popularized the dumpling bag the past few years, and this style feels very on-trend as a result. This one is even closer to the O.G.! If you’re thinking more for summer or live somewhere warmer, Pam Munson all the way! This would go with EVERYTHING. And this Cult Gaia is gorgeous, too.
These are opposite of what you want (visible labels and out of budget), but I had to share in case anyone else is in the market for a clutch: this Hermes and this Loewe!
Q: Mules and clogs that work for midi dresses.
A: I think these No. 6 ones are absolute perfection in every way. Colors, shape, heel height. A ten! Isabel Marant has a cool pair that Parisian chic peas wear with a tiny bit more edge. And then this $35 pair from Target is a dead ringer for a much more expensive pair by Rachel Comey. All of these would look so chic with a midi dress like this, this, or this (which I own and adore in the blue colorway).
By: Jen Shoop
There are so many adorable Valentine cards out this season, with fun little favors to circulate as well. Above ARE mini’s Valentines from last year from my favorite Etsy stationer, Erin Wallace, who has tons of adorable options (including many shared in this post). Last year, I included a small play-doh tub and plastic cookie cutter along with the card. Below, sharing some other ideas, including many non-edible ones as I know many schools have restrictions on what foods can be circulated, and it’s also always a gamble knowing what other parents’ preferences along these lines…
For most of these, I would wrap the favor in a little cello bag of the proper dimensions and tuck the card inside so its visible and then tie off with a gingham ribbon in red, pink, or blue as the case might be.
An alternative, sweet option is having your children decorate their own Valentines, in which case I would use this Kid Made Modern Valentine Making Kit. I find this brand to have really nice quality, cute sets that have everything you need rather than having to source supplies individually and imagine the permutations of what might be cute for a Valentine. I’ve bought several of the seasonal “craft kits” and my children go wild over them. Target also has a few make-your-own Valentines sets for slightly older children (more complex assembly): these and these.
For something along the more traditional lines, Cheree Berry Paper has some adorable emoji-centric Valentine cards that even young children can help fill out, Meri Meri has some darling cards, and Mr. Boddington’s Studio has kitschy-cute classic perforated card Valentines on sale here.
Another thought: have your little ones make bracelets using heart beads for their classmates/friends. Mini loved this kit and we actually ended up keeping it and reusing it over and over again to make different necklaces at home, but it would also work to make bracelets or necklaces for classmates. I think we gave that to her two Valentine’s Days ago, when she was just three, and she loved it then. For more dextrous (older) children, I love these luminescent heart and star beads (buy a spool of stretchy cord to make into bracelets), or this pastel set. Even though I intend to buy my children some of Erin Wallace’s Valentine’s to give out (above), I think I will buy a set of these for my children to do as an activity around Valentine’s Day. Along these lines, a few other at-home, fun activities for the occasion:
CERAMIC HEART PAINTING CRAFT — NOTE THAT I USUALLY SWAP IN WASHABLE CRAYOLA PAINT INSTEAD OF THE PAINT THAT COMES WITH THIS…EASIER ON ME (HA)
SCRATCH ART HEARTS — MINI HAS A SIMILAR SET FROM MELISSA & DOUG SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVES
VALENTINE STICKERS LIKE THESE AND THESE — INFINITY USES IN OUR HOME
VALENTINE CRAFT KIT — I LOVE TO JUST OPEN THE BOX AND LET MY CHILDREN HAVE AT IT…WE ALWAYS END UP WITH TONS OF FLOATING POM POMS AND HALF-BENT PIPE CLEANERS BUT THEY LOVE IT SO MUCH
Last but not least, I shared some cute Valentine’s Day PJs and outfits here, but this tiny waffle maker in the shape of heart is sure to delight on Valentine’s Day morning. I have a Halloween shaped one that is such a thrill to my children. Serve them up on these $3 red melamine heart plates. I bought them in pink last year and they are absolutely adorable and so fun for little ones! These more expensive melamine ones are also adorable for the occasion.
I took a morning off one of the days leading up to Christmas and, partly influenced by Omicron, resolved to do nothing at all. Normally, my “mornings off” wrap around self-care visits like manicures, salon days, lunches with friends, errands that feel vaguely therapeutic because I am alone and any alone time when not writing is rare. This time, I decided I wanted to sit down on the couch and binge “Emily in Paris” at 10 A.M. Our nanny was home, as were my children, and it felt —
Weird.
Uncomfortable.
Whenever my children came running through the living room, I’d feel the need to pause the show and shuffle around tidying up, fluffing the pillows, putting toys away. This was in part owing to adult content but mainly owing to the sensation of awkwardness that I was sitting in my own house but decidedly not looking after my own children, and so I felt compelled to mask my loafing. When they descended for lunch, I jumped up and immediately got to work making sandwiches and pouring milk. I waited until after they’d gone their separate ways to resume my position of leisure. I can’t quite tell whether this was because I felt badly I was doing something so lazy in plain view of our hardworking nanny, or because it felt wrong not to be caring for my children when I was not working or out of the house running an errand. After all, we employ her so we can work. It felt like I was in some way breaking a rule by employing her while not working. And yet — ! Of course she is here many times when I am getting my nails done or having coffee with a girlfriend or grabbing a drink with my husband. Still, it felt delinquent on some base level.
At the same time, during the stretches I was alone, I felt the most relaxed I’ve felt in months. Maybe years? I was entirely by myself, doing something purely for my own pleasure, with no productivity upside. I was consciously and deliberately wasting a morning in frivolity, and I cannot recall the last time I indulged in such idle pleasure. I did not even let myself write Christmas cards or arrange for groceries or respond to emails. I just reclined on the couch under a thick blanket and watched and thought and lost myself in the confection that is that show. It felt deliciously illicit.
Later that night, I shared my mixed emotions with Mr. Magpie. We mused over why I felt so badly about it — after all, I am “allowed” to take mornings off. Why must they all be spent out of the house or cloistered in my bedroom? Why can’t I avail myself of the living room TV and just sit in leisure for a spell?
I think the discomfort stems in some part from the nature of my business. I work for myself, and my work is free-form, and my hours are flexible. Therefore, I have the strange and delightful option to, for example, run to the dry cleaner or stop by my mother’s for lunch or get my eyebrows done whenever I want to. I do not need to take PTO to arrange these outings. And so I never do actually “schedule time off,” unless we are traveling or have family visiting or it is a holiday when the children will be home and our nanny will not–but then those days are not free time to watch a TV show or read a book by myself.
I am not complaining. I feel fulfilled and energized and enjoy my downtime in the evenings, usually alongside Mr. Magpie. I would not trade the free-form nature of my work for anything. I don’t think it could function any other way–the impulse to write (for me at least) comes in fits and starts and cannot be time-boxed. And so it is productive — healthful! — for me to be able to zip off and complete a chore or errand when I need processing time. Sometimes my best writing happens while running to the cobbler or picking up groceries. Beyond that, on principle, I am loathe to call this blog “work” in any capacity because I enjoy it so much. It feels like creative output, not “labor” in the sense I have traditionally known it.
In short: it all works. But I think it does explain why taking a morning “off” at home felt so alien. It did not sync with the setup of my work/life balance, which is much more syncopated and less scheduled than I would suspect of many others. (…I could be, and probably am, wrong? I’m thinking now that I am certain COVID has put pressure on many more traditional job arrangements such that lines are thoroughly blurred in similarly complicated ways. I am thinking specifically of my girlfriend who is a high-powered attorney but who, since COVID has her working remotely, now picks up her son from school every day at noon during her “lunch break.” I know she loves the way her WFH arrangement accommodates this brief interlude with her son, but I also know it must make things complicated — i.e., meetings running late, deadlines, and the age-old challenge of clipping in and out of work/mom modes. (It is not automatic!))
But the other half of my discomfort equation, the half that I think most of you will relate to, is —
Why do I feel guilty doing nothing for a rare stretch of time at my own home when I am paying a caregiver to look after my children? One of my friends messaged me to say: “I’m glad you’re taking time to take care of yourself.” It was such a welcome grant of permission that I didn’t know I needed. I thought to myself: “I should not feel guilty about this! I am allowed to be lazy every now and then, and to carve out a way to accommodate that laziness.” And is it even fair to call it “laziness”? Why do I itch to categorize a morning of relaxation as lethargy? I know myself to be a busy, hard-working person. I can take breaks, and they needn’t always be breaks that tick something off a list somewhere. Thinking more deeply about it, I do on occasion take “breaks” of different kinds that feel more medicinal and do not trigger my mom guilt as heavily. For example, I would not feel the same guilt over going for a walk outside, reading on the porch, or even baking cookies — all pleasurable pastimes that involve a similar detachment from goals and to-dos but feel more wholesome in some sense. (Though, to be sure, I rarely do any of these things while our nanny is here.) Was it just the modality of TV that I was hung up on?
Now my thoughts are circling around my SAHM friends, who — like, when do they get to take a walk just sit on the couch and watch TV? Never? Imagining myself in their shoes, I think it would be difficult to hire a sitter so I could sit at home watching “Emily in Paris,” for reasons similar to those I mentioned above. At least with my current arrangement (i.e., a full-time nanny), I have the option at my disposal, setting aside my discomfort for a moment.
I guess what I’m getting at is —
Is this a mom guilt issue I need to just barrel through? Is it something about my underlying value judgment of TV as a frivolous pastime? Why was I so cagey about the entire thing?
What do you think? Have you experienced anything similar?
+We had six inches of snow yesterday! It reminded me of Chicago snow. I know I’ve written about this before, but Polarn O Pyret makes the best snow bibs for children. They are pricey, but they last an eternity, are unisex, and are very warm and insulated. They run huge, which has actually worked out nicely. Mini has worn the same pair for THREE YEARS (a size 2-3T, and she is now almost always a size 5 or even 6). The straps are adjustable so they really do grow with the child but the legs are cut really long (I guess for all those tall Scandi children), and because they are snow pants, you can just kind of bunch them up using the elastic at the ankle until they fit properly. Anyway, micro has worn the size 1.5-2 years last year and this one, and he is currently a size 3T in everything else, and they still fit fine. Next year, I’ll put him in mini’s current pair and buy mini a pair 4-6. These are simply the best.
+I have to say, though, these cheerfully printed snow overalls from Hannah Andersson also turned my head, and are less expensive. Love the punchy floral for a little lady!
+We have some snow gear at home but this latest dump led me to order this highly-rated snow saucer for future white mornings.
+This popular top was just re-stocked! A great birthday top IMO.
+These under-$20 mittens have a handmade look to them. Love! More chic cold weather accessories here.
+Speaking of mittens and handmade, I have long lusted after one of the spectacular knit pieces from Mr. Mittens, like this gorgeous pink cardigan. I noticed that Net-A-Porter just moved a bunch of the pieces from this label to clearance, and how amazing is this green number and this knit dress (I immediately imagined it for an expecting mama)?
+Just bought mini these silver Hunter boots as she outgrew her last pair seemingly overnight and we actually have had a ton of rainy days since moving here. Micro also absolutely lives in his pair, come rain or shine, and was also at the outer limits of wearing his pair in comfort, so bought him these in the military red.
+Similarly, mini outgrew her Uggs also overnight (we have had this issue since she was born — she seems to change sizes mid-season, which drives me mad!!! two sets of everything per season?!), and we get a lot of use out of those. They’re so easy to put on and nice and warm, too. I have bought her the Bailey style with the bows in the past but this time I got her these simple ones in the mauve/lavender color because they are under $80, go with her wardrobe, and will tide us over until she needs a new pair next fall.
+Chic layering necklace. (Heart ones here, if you’re in the market.)
+Love the inexpensive socks from this brand for my children. They have a nice weight to them — not too thick, not too thin; are really stretchy (easy to pull on), and have those grippies on the bottom, which are essential!
By: Jen Shoop
*ED NOTE: A reader wrote in to let me know that she had ordered the glass candlesticks below and was disappointed. She’d ordered an amber color and the set that arrived were a super bright red. She said the seller was responsive and refunded her, but just a caveat!
It’s that time of year: decorations packed away, the frenzy of the holidays giving way to the urge to tidy, organize, and zhush. I always feel the pull to accessorize my home this time of year. Below, a few favorite finds, all under $100 and most well under $50, with the exception of this $119 rattan side table that I’ve adored forever. Also, PSAs: these Barefoot Dreams throws are now an extra 25% off, making them under $50, and I just ordered these gorgeous bow finials ($34 for two!) to replace a boring pair in our master bedroom.
P.P.P.S. My surprising attachment to a bulky dresser we’ve toted with us from home to home for over a decade.
By: Jen Shoop
Mr. Magpie is trained in the sciences and I am trained in the humanities and I was just thinking the other day how these backgrounds have oriented us differently in the way we navigate problems and texts and the analysis of any number of situations. I have observed that my husband, a trained electrical engineer, approaches problems — even lightweight ones, like which dog food to buy our pup — by virtue of process of elimination, and in a meticulously structured way. He will surface as many possible pathways to solution at the start, bearing a “no bad ideas” mindset, and then lay them all out before himself before determining some rubric for prioritizing which option to pursue first. His strategy often leans heavily on Excel formulas (cf: his mattress research). I tend to operate — quickly — on intuition instead, and this means sometimes I take a long and circuitous path and wind up back where I started and regret not having taken the time to think through all possible avenues first. On the flipside, I tend to make decisions more swiftly, which occasionally feels like an asset.
I used to think this was a personality thing, and maybe it is, but I also think that my background in English bears some responsibility for my habits in this regard. English taught me that the longer I look at something, the more possibilities I can surface. That is: the longer I sit with a text, the more possible readings I find, or the deeper the roots travel and curlicue. And so sometimes, in more trivial matters, I feel that moving briskly and — say — just picking the first dog food that appears semi-well-rated — is the best course of action, especially from the standpoint of avoiding decision fatigue or the possibility of becoming so waterlogged with information that I will have a difficult time finding my way. As Voltaire said: “The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing.” Sometimes, then, I reason that it is OK to go with “good enough” and trust that somehow the gods of the Internet have done sufficient work on user ratings that I can use four stars as a proxy for my own research.
I say all of that semi-glibly, because I think the more profound insight of studying English is that we are meant to be path finders who illuminate by candle rather than spotlight. We raise a torch as we meander through caves and caverns, chasing possibilities, and as we do so, reveal other pathways and light up walls scribbled faintly with markings and contemplate whether we should continue further or hang out where we are. There is always more to discover. We realize we can never exhaust a text. We can never map something to its completion. We can do our best to mark a well-lit path but there will always be subterranean worlds and different points of access we’ve not yet thought of. And so sometimes I think that means I am more comfortable just starting down a path — any path — and seeing where it takes me. I’ve marched blindly into the underground enough times to realize there are always points of egress and rarely stretches at which the going gets so rough I can’t find my footing. To re-ground the metaphor: there are always grammatical choices and elements of narrative design on which to perch and make a case for whatever reading I’ve swung wildly down the stairwell with. And if there aren’t, well! Time to head back up for fresh air.
In short, is it possible that those in the sciences are trained to whittle down the list of possibilities and those in the humanities are trained to proliferate that list? It feels that we are tasked with inverted computations. To be sure, neither is inherently better than the other. In many ways, I prefer the restraint and measure and discipline I’ve seen in my husband.
I’m not sure, in any case, whether my “bias for action” is more a personality trait or a product of my education. Probably a fusion of the two.
What do you say? Have you come to similar findings?
Post-Scripts.
+I came to similar conclusions here: “the or maybes is the great gift of a degree in English, the vindication I might offer my friend, should we ever revisit the topic: the accommodation of a multitude of narrative possibilities. English trained me to look at a single word and ask: “but why this one?” and to recognize a certain rhyme scheme and ask “what if it were another?” I am forever shaped by the way those questions both exact and forgive.”
+What would you study if you were going back to school?
+If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.
+A reader recently asked me for a chic everyday crossbody in leather on the slightly larger side (“I don’t want to play tetris with my belongings every day,” she said — HA! I so get that!), and I couldn’t recommend this Oroton style quickly enough. Absolutely gorgeous and elegant and I love the pop of blue on the lining.
+Another reader was on the hunt for this mirror, which I know several of you have and love. (You can see it in a room designed by Ariel Okin here.)
+How great are these gingham sheets for a toddler bed?
+Julia Amory has some great beauty recs if you follow her on Instagram, and she insists this Mac eyeshadow in the lilac color (“Ready to Party”) is great for those with blue eyes. She swipes a bit of bronzer over the top to mute the color a bit.
+Personally, I think Laura Mercier’s “Morning Dew” eyeshadow is the perfect everyday color — it brightens the eye but does not look like you’re wearing anything. It’s the only eyeshadow I consistently buy in a one-off palette because I use it so much. Otherwise, I stick with mixed palettes — this Bobbi Brown set (on sale for only $19) is perfect.
+I am so sad this gorgeous tablecloth (currenlty on sale!) does not come in a slightly larger size because I have been looking for a festive otomi-style tablecloth for Mr. Magpie’s birthday celebration. It’s a tad too small for our dining table — hope it works for someone else!
+This copper drinkware collection is SO good and on sale! Thinking of this for things like mulled wine, mules, and even eggnog. And we have a copper ice bucket that I absolutely love that cost multiple times the price of this one.
+Gorgeous spring dress. As is this one, by the same brand — makes me want to kick off my shoes and dance!
By: Jen Shoop
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Mr. Magpie is head chef de cuisine in our house, but I’ve learned a thing or two observing the maestro, too. I thought I’d share some of our favorite under-the-radar gear that makes cooking more efficient, or more consistent, or more impressive, and sometimes all three.
1 // KITCHEN SCALE. We measure everything by weight. I have been surprised by how much better baking projects in particular turn out when ingredients are measured in weight! Many cookbooks provide loose approximations in volume but weight is the best path forward. We actually have this OXO scale that we love (I specifically appreciate that the display can be pulled out from the scale in situations where you are measuring something bigger than the diameter of the scale, which actually does happen with some regularity), but Wirecutter recommends this $20 style and I’m inclined to go with their rec. I personally like that their rec includes a coated surface/buttons in event of accidental spillage (which happens with fair regularity as well). Plus, it’s $20 and comes in cute colors.
2 // SPIDER STRAINER. I don’t know how we lived before this — it is in constant use in our home. Great for removing items from boiling water (i.e., green beans, carrots, etc) and especially for frying (dip item slowly into oil while in this basket to prevent splatter, then remove just as easily). This gives you the flexibility to remove items individually if ingredients/items are cooking at different rates. It’s also always readily available in our kitchen crock and therefore I find myself reaching for it when I just need to rinse a handful of berries, or drain a small amount of water, etc. I personally like this wood handled style (versus the more prevalent stainless steel ones) because it does not conduct heat, so you can be removing items from hot oil without worrying that the handle will burn you.
3 // MEAT THERMOMETER. Mr. Magpie is more confident in his ability to assess doneness via various visual and physical indicators, but I always use a thermometer for peace of mind, especially when cooking chicken. This ensures you never have to worry you’re serving something undercooked! I also reach for this in baking for various reasons. I have a candy thermometer as well but find this is great for measuring water temp out of the tap (i.e., when you need “warm” water to activate yeast and have no idea what “warm” should feel like).
4 // CHEF’S PRESS. These are presently sold out everywhere, but will be restocked in January, so keep your eyes peeled. Mr. Magpie has used these religiously for the past couple of years. The idea is that you apply these on top of a steak, chicken, etc for more even browning/searing in a pan — corners/edges/areas no longer curl up away from the pan. These are also great for griddled sandwiches and even tortillas! We have four of them. If you need additional heft, you can stack them on top of one another.
5 // OXO STRAWBERRY HULLER. If you are like Mr. Magpie, you have the patience and precision to individually hull strawberries nearly every day using a paring knife. If you are like me — a “pragmatic cook,” we’ll call it, rather euphemistically — you simply chop off the top third of the strawberry and chuck it in the garbage. Santa surprised me with this genius little huller in my stocking and we’ve been joking that it’s saved our family hundreds of dollars in discarded strawberry bits. You use the pointed edge of these tongs to insert into the berry, twist, and remove the stem/green bits without wasting much berry at all. Genius, and so easy to use!
6 // VOLLRATH QUARTER BAKING SHEETS. If you’ve been following me here for awhile, you’ll know I’ve used NordicPro baking sheets for a long time and have loved them. However, Mr. Magpie recently discovered Vollrath, and I think we will be swapping out nearly all of our sheets for this brand over time. These are even heavier duty and more reliable. I specifically encourage the quarter-sized sheet — our most used sheet pan size! — which is perfect for a handful of chicken nuggets for the littles, or a spray of walnuts for a baking project, or a couple of a baking potatoes.
7 // OXO CHERRY OR OLIVE PITTER. I have used this more than I could have ever anticipated. Prior to its purchase, I’d never have thought to include cherries in a salad, and I nearly always bought my olives pitted. This solves that problem for you. (And here is one of my favorite salads, featuring cherry, goat cheese, and bread!)
8 // RAMEKINS. The absolute best for tidy mise en place / cooking prep. Dice/chop all your ingredients and stow in these ramekins so that they are at-the-ready. We use these constantly. Bonus: they are microwave-safe, and can therefore be popped inside to soften butter, or to house hot liquids, etc.
9 // DUAL-SIDED MEASURING SPOONS. These are brilliantly designed. First, they nest inside one another magnetically, meaning that you’re never fishing around your implement drawer looking for the 1/4 tsp measure. It’s always right where you left it, hugging the 1/2 tsp measure. Second, I can’t tell you how often I need to measure two different herbs/spices/seasonings and instead of having to rinse out every time, you have two ends to use. Third, one end is wider and one end is narrower, meaning that it accommodates narrow spouts if you need them to.
10 // BENCH SCRAPER. Useful for so many reasons — great for dividing and scraping dough, but also helpful after dicing vegetables and needed to transfer them to a bowl or pan. A simple scoop with this leaves nothing on the cutting board behind.
11 // EMILE HENRY BUTTER POT. Americans are typically pretty squeamish about the potential for food spoilage and so we tend to keep butter in the fridge, unlike the French, who keep it at room temperature, in butter pots like this. We’ve recently adopted the French way and I don’t think we’ll ever look back. It is lovely to have room temperature, spreadable butter on hand at a moment’s notice, whether for toast in the morning or green beans in the evening. The secret to this particular design is a small pour of water in the basin, which you replace every 3-4 days. The water creates a seal around the lip of the butter dish that preserves it. Genius! This marble style operates similarly if you’re more into that look.
12 // LODGE HANDLE COVER. Really…handy (no pun intended) when you’ve gotten your skillet searing hot and then need to move it to a back burner. We also sometimes use this as a visual signal to one another: watch out! This pan is hot!
13 // HOMWE OVEN MITTS. Please retired your Williams-Sonoma mitts in favor of this less-expensive but far-superior pair. For reference, I feel like I was burning through the W-S ones every year or two, and you could never truly remove something from the oven for more than a second in them anyway. I bought our Homwe ones December 11, 2017 and they look good as new. The silicon tips protect hands far, far better and just hold up better in general. No brown mittens/holes! I pop these in the washing machine every few weeks (air dry afterward) and they’re spic and span.
14 // HEDLEY & BENNETT APRON. An apron is absolutely essential for a serious cook! This particular brand was dreamt up by a young cook who spent thousands (!) of hours finessing the details to make it the best possible apron, and it’s now used by tons of top-tier chefs (working in Michelin-starred restaurants!) I love her mantra: “Better gear can make you a better cook.”
I’ve been tackling some organization projects at home, so have been ordering pieces from this post, as well as a handful of other small household items I’ve been meaning to purchase for awhile now in anticipation of house guests in 2022: monogrammed hand towels, waste baskets, decorative pillows, and of course the new mattress! (More bedding/bedroom finds here.)
THE BEST $12 UPGRADE TO YOUR SKINCARE REGIMEN (TRUST ME!)
$60 PUFF SLEEVED TOP (COMES IN SEVERAL GREAT COLORS)
Weekend Musings: A Different You.
I came across this quote, apparently attributed to Leonardo DiCaprio (insert spectacle-wearing emoji), earlier this week:
“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”
I thought this was an interesting take on both the demands and opportunities that come with progress and age. I wrote a few months back about how I scarcely remember Jen-in-her-20s, flying all over the place and giving presentations and working on some optimistic solutions for serious social problems pertaining to educational attainment. I think the quote above contextualizes my thoughts an interesting way: as you grow and take on new challenges (whether personal or professional or artistic or athletic), you field the often-uncomfortable push to change but also the opportunity to be born again. To be a different — hopefully better — version of yourself.
On a totally different note, the quote also reminded me of something Mr. Magpie told me in the early days of building our business together. He made the observation that what you do to earn your first customer will be different from what you do to earn your first ten customers. And that will be different from what you do to earn your first 100. And then your first 1000. And so on. This was absolutely dead-on-the-nose. A first customer might be born of a longtime personal relationship — someone willing to stick their neck out and try something because they know and love you. The first ten might be born of careful conversations with people in your network, and likely involves coupon codes and trials and hand-holding. But at 100? You’re looking at ads and conferences and marketing ploys that get you in front of 1000s of people. And at 1000, you’ve got to scale that up further: thought leadership that gets you in front of decision-makers, targeted ads, etc. And so on. I think of this often, in different contexts, even non-business ones. The basic takeaway for me is that growth is not a continuous churn of doing the same thing and getting the same output. You learn, change tack, try new things, retire what’s defunct. You become a new you along the way, exercising new muscles and wearing new hats. So, yes — every next level demands a new me.
Shopping Break.
+My girlfriend has this Gucci cardigan and I’m so envious. It’s a statement but subtle and can be worn with sooo many dresses in your closet. Sneakily wondering if I can squeeze into the size 12 in children’s and pay 1/3 the price?
+Santa brought the children these hatch-in-water toy turtles and they have been such a huge hit! You drop in cool water and they slowly emerge from their shell over 72 hours. The children have been enjoying checking on them.
+Perfect casual everyday pants to pair with statement knits.
+Testing a new conditioner on mini. We’ve been fans of Noodle + Boo forever but just thought I’d switch it up and I absolutely love this brand’s spray-on mineral sunscreen — the entire family uses it. The spray sunscreen is actually on sale at a good price right now, too, so I bought a few canisters now. (Come warm months, it’s always $21/bottle.)
+Gorgeous dress for a new mom at a Christening/Baptism. Stylish but not too flashy for Church.
+So many friends are still in waves of quarantine, isolation, exposure, etc!! UGH! Hang in there. I have been sending this doodle mat or these matchbox cars bundled with this playtape set to friends in those situations with small children at home. (More thoughts on parenting in isolation/quarantine here.)
+The Avenue has a great Christmas sale section — I am thinking I will order a few of these to give away Christmas treats on next year, and this gorgeous cardi is finally on sale!
By: Jen Shoop
Today, sharing a few favorite children’s books in our house at the moment. I’m omitting the Little Blue Truck series, which I read at lease once a day and cannot recommend for your sanity. (Who else can recite the majority of these books?)
+Jon Agee’s The Wall in the Middle of the Book. This is actually a fairly sophisticated metafictional piece that introduces the concept of narrative structure, suspense, climax, denouement, etc in simple language and illustration that children enjoy. It’s also quite silly, as most of Agee’s books are — mini smiles while reading this book every single time. Mini also loves his book The Other Side of Town, which makes us both laugh out loud — very clever and very silly, and it takes place in NYC, which tickles us.
+Audrey Wood’s Quick as a Cricket. I feel as though this is one of the most important books on our bookshelf, especially for my daughter. It’s basic premise: we contain multitudes. We can be “tough as a rhino” and also “gentle as a lamb,” “tame as a poodle” and “wild as a chimp.” The book suggests that we can be many things, and that all of those things are valid. J’adore, j’adore. The basic premise of my recent “Ampersands” post.
+Suzanne Lang’s Grumpy Monkey. Honestly, sometimes I need to read this book. It’s about being in a bad mood, being told to “smile and cheer up,” and realizing that sometimes you just need to be grumpy! This is a fantastic book to complement conversations you might be having at home about working through confusing/conflicting emotions.
+Jonathan Fenske’s Plankton Is Pushy. My children find this book howlingly funny. It reminds me in tone of Mo Willems’ Don’t Let the Pigeons series — animated, cartoonishly silly/frustrated, etc. Light, quick read perfect for when you’re feeling like a dramatic performance read with over-the-top voices.
+Emma Chichester Clark’s Love Is My Favorite Thing. A book all about unconditional love, even when dogs (ahem, children) choose to be naughty.
+Joseph Kuefler’s The Digger and The Flower. I think I broke a record with this one — I read this for about two months of consecutive bedtimes with micro. Maybe even longer, actually. Micro absolutely adores this book. The basic premise is that a digger discovers a flower on the build site, tends to it, and then is shattered when it’s cut down. He takes the seeds and plants them elsewhere, where he tends to them for the long haul. It is the sweetest book — I like the way it thwarts expectations (i.e., a loving digger!), reminds us to care for mother earth, and invites children to emote around these sad and then joyful happenings.
+Madelyn Rosenberg’s The Cyclops of Central Park. I’ve written about this a ton (maybe even in a past book roundup), but this is the loveliest book about balancing love of home with love of adventure. It’s also beautifully illustrated and set in NYC, which is fun for those of us who have lived there. There are some great lines — “He thought he spied the missing sheep in SoHo — and again at the Guggenheim. But his eye was playing tricks on him. “Eugene?” “No. It’s a De Kooning.”” (Yes!!!)
+Audrey and Don Wood’s The Napping House. A total classic — my mother read this book to me as a child, too, and I find the illustrations ultra-comforting for that reason. It has a nice rhythm and sequencing to it.
What about you? Any other home runs? We’ve been tearing through new books recently between our nearby library and then a book haul on Christmas morning but none of them have been quite as sticky as the ones above. Please share any favorites in your homes!
I’ve gone back and forth on the subject of new year’s resolutions over the years. On the one hand, I’m a big believer in putting things out there, on paper, if only to clarify aspirations and translate them into actionable items. (I also think there is something to the notion of “manifesting” goals by focusing on desired outcomes, though not in all cases or circumstances.) I worked in three different start-up settings and found that one of the biggest levers for progress in the early days of any new enterprise is being disciplined around 30- and 90-day plans in particular. Anything longer in scope lacks the granularity you need to feel as though you are making material progress, especially when your work load looks so different on a day-to-day basis (i.e.,: I might be setting up SquareSpace for a simple website one day, presenting to an investor the next, and working through wireframes with a designer on the third). And without the structure of a 30 or 60 or 90 day plan to remind me of the slightly broader brushstrokes at hand — God help me! So, I do feel sitting down and putting pen to paper when it comes to goals is critical.
However —
We have all been living with tremendous stress, with plans and normalcies upended and guidelines and timelines constantly changing. It is strenuous living with so many unknowns. In this context, I am reminded of the quote: “Pressure is a choice.” Do I feel now is the best time to choose to set new goals for myself? Will they be another thing to juggle and possibly feel badly about if unmet? Is now the time to opt in?
On the flip side: we are living through tough times, but we are still living our only wild and precious lives. This is not a dress rehearsal, or an ante-room, or a holding space. I am flustered at the thought of deferring meaningful personal goals because of the pandemic and then regretting those postponements later. Maybe now is the time. I am in turn reminded of the quote: “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”
Where do I go with this thought train of mismatched cars? Is there a middle ground? Something between goals and inertia?
I have tried to set themes in years past — “grace” being my favorite — and I like the gentleness of this approach. It provides a north star when thinking through situations or reflecting. However, it can only offer suffused light — not the series of path torches on which I occasionally want to lean. I think, instead, this year I will set goals and then scale them back. Instead of: “run every other day,” I’ll choose “run twice a week.” Instead of: “two books a month,” I’ll choose: “Always be in the middle of reading a book.” (Who cares about the pace? Just have a book at the ready, downloaded and inviting.) Maybe 2022 is about lowering expectations and grading on a curve.
Where do you land on the subject? Does anyone have a novel approach to resolution-writing?
Post-Scripts.
+I did write resolutions last year. I did well on 3 and 4, completely fell apart on 1 and 2, and give myself middling marks on 5.
+What did you learn last year? I need to reflect on this prompt myself. Here were some learnings the last go around (in 2019). A good “learning” vintage.
+”The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” (Do you agree?)
+This ridiculously stunning dress is my top contender for my sister’s deferred wedding celebration, scheduled for this spring. My mom may not approve of the cutouts but gosh isn’t it gorgeous?! (More spectacular wedding guest dresses here.)
+Ordered this adorable $15 gingham bolster pillow for mini. OMG how cute?! Wish it weren’t sold out in blue or I’d buy that one for micro’s room, too! Also available in a fun oversized floor pillow size for a reading nook.
+Fun, Celine-esque crossbody in an unexpected color. Also comes in neutral colors that may be more versatile. Love how non-flashy it is — no labels — but the shape is tres chic.
+Stocked up on Hanky Panky for 40% off here in two non-hideous colors: desert rose and shng armor.
+The sherpa vest I’ve been wearing all season (generously gifted from Talbots!) just went on sale, plus an extra 40% off, bringing the price down to like $80. Great way to get the Tuckernuck look for less. I have been surprised by how much I wear this — it’s dressier than a puffer and layers nicely over knits, but not as fussy as a faux fur. I wear it on walks, throw it on over striped Kule tees and knits at home, etc. True MVP!
+Love these cheery scalloped salad plates. Come in several colors!
+Adore this statement sweatshirt. I have a similar one in black I love.
+My other favorite sweatshirt: this Kule. I wear it constantly. Perfectly proportioned and a nice thin-but-not-too-thin weight.
+These shorts are a classic and come in such great colors this season.
+Just ordered a couple of these inexpensive, classic monogrammed kitchen/guest bath towels. We will be having house guests in the new year and I am finally getting around to adding some minor touches I’ve deferred for a long, long time. I also needed a few waste baskets that we’ve gone too long without — bought one of these for the upstairs!
+Coveting these unusual (and unusually chic) shades.
+Have been wearing my Alo tube socks a lot while working out lately. I own in multiple colors. Nice and thick and the colors are so fabulous. I like to pull up over black leggings for a throwback Fitness Barbie vibe.
+Love this lidded bin as a way to conceal toilet paper or truly anything (trash bags! tampons! etc!) in a guest bathroom / powder bath room. Matching trash bin available.
+Banana’s collab with Harbison yielded some truly gorgeous pieces — this one could be La Ligne!
+If you have it in you, now is a great time to buy discounted Christmas/holiday gear for next year. Crate and Barrel has a ton of fabulous stuff at 50% off, including these stocking holders, this tree collar, and these glitter fronds to tuck into a tree or arrange in a vase or on a mantel.
+Not sure if we will be continuing ballet this upcoming semester for mini — I think we will try a different extracurricular (currently searching for an art class for her age — 4, almost 5 — if any locals have recs), but this under-$20 leotard/tutu combo was a must-order. She will love! Mini has owned 2 or 3 of these more expensive ones from I Love Plum over the years and they are adorable and have a nice amount of dramatic tulle to them, but Tilly (our airedale) destroyed two of them!!!
+Incredibly sad I missed out on these shoes in mini’s size.
+I feel like a Nancy Meyers protagonist should be seen wearing this $29 turtleneck.
By: Jen Shoop
Yesterday, I was helping a Magpie find a suitable, bump-friendly spring wedding guest dress. I shared all my top picks here* (none of them are maternity — would work with bump, or without! — and I think she is buying this one!), but in the course of research, learned that SEA has marked down a ton of fabulous pieces, plus is offering an extra 15% off sale prices with code SALE21. This means you can score this gorgeous floral maxi, originally almost $500, for $168. That’s right — Anthro prices for designer duds. Pretty good! A few other pieces not to miss from the sale…
I LIVE IN THESE KINDS OF DRESSES (ALSO THIS)…SORT OF THE MODERN DAY HOUSE DRESS! NON-CONSTRICTING, MODEST IN LENGTH, AND SO EASY TO THROW ON AND PUTZ AROUND THE HOUSE IN
THIS FUNKY SHEEP SWEATER IS IN MY CART…SO FUN! ALSO LOVE THIS EMBROIDERED FRUIT ONE
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH WHITE/ECRU DRESSES, AND THIS ONE IS SO ROMANTIC, AND ONLY $150 WITH CODE
*I should note most of my bump-friendly picks skew towards second trimester bumps as unfortunately I think once you get up to the 8 and 9 month range, you just have to suck it up and go with a proper maternity dress.
On the subject of fun dresses, I had been planning to throw a decent sized party for Mr. Magpie’s 40th (!) birthday this January, but in the shadow of omicron, felt that wasn’t right. We’ll be scaling down and having just a handful of his closest buddies instead, which — frankly — feels perfect, because he doesn’t see them as often any more and I know he’ll have a blast. Still, the occasion calls for something daringly festive, and I don’t care if it’s the dead of winter. My dream pick is this Borgo de Nor, but I also love (!) this Celia B, this Fanm Mom, this Alemais, or — entirely different direction — this feather-trim mini. Fun!
P.S. Thoughts on my sister’s wedding, in the era of COVID.
P.P.S. Bridal finds and more wedding guest dress options.
P.P.P.S. The most popular items on my blog this year.
