I came across the chic Instagram post by Anina Hee above and thought — mama mia! Sophisticated, well-tailored classics can be SO chic. Channeling her with the finds below…the Tove top (also available in black) is at the top of my spring shopping list at the moment, as are these slim, Grace-Kelly-esque headbands.
P.P.P.S. I loved this recent comment by a reader: “About five years ago, I made a list of little things that were driving me nuts. Then, I methodically resolved these irritations. I now have tweezers, a nail clipper & a small magnifying mirror by my “comfy” chair. I have an extra pair of basic earrings in my purse in case I lose one when I am out & about. I have hand cream in every room of my house. I have a lint roller in my coat closet for last-minute primping. On & on my list went and it was so satisfying to complete my list! Now, I am quicker at resolving these little things.” More on the notion of resolving tiny frustrations here.
By: Jen Shoop
“It is all very well to survive the abundant months of spring and summer, but in winter, we witness the full glory of nature’s flourishing in lean times…Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Wintering is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximizing scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible.” – Katherine May, Wintering
In some ways, May’s words feel antithetical to my key takeaways around enduring this pandemic: whereas I set out to live “my one wild and precious life” in spite of the pandemic, she reminds us that our movements in times of adversity need not always be so frictional and against the grain. Maybe there are seasons designed for fallowness. Maybe we learn important things there, in the quiet and bare. Maybe we needn’t cup our hands around the tender green blades we’ve coaxed into sprouting out of season, a rebours.
Food for thought on this umpteenth morning of winter: do I lean against hibernation in ways that I needn’t?
In some ways, the question feels woefully out of sync with the times. Perhaps this is a flame I should have warmed my hands around back in March 2020. And maybe, some of us did — when we were busy designing elaborate day plans for our children, baking bread, installing trampolines in our backyards. But it’s never too late for an audit. Conditions have changed in our home, at least, over the past two years such that all four of us are now, suddenly, all able to sit down to enjoy the same movie (“Encanto”) while eating the same thing (pizza) and find genuine enjoyment in the exact same activity.
May concludes the passage above by noting:
“Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season in which the world takes on a sparse beauty and even the pavements sparkle. It’s a time for reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order. Doing these deeply unfashionable things — slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting — is a radical act now, but it’s essential.”
Reading these lines within the easy metaphor for life during this pandemic rankles a bit: I find it difficult, even mildly toxic, to wax poetic about the “sparkle” in the pavement we’ve been walking, but I do like the underlying imperative to “stop wishing it were summer” when it is not. In short: how am I squaring up with less-than-ideal circumstances in a way that is helpful?
Post-Scripts.
+More on the impulse to keep moving in the face of this pandemic.
+Some early thoughts on living life during a pandemic, written just a few weeks in…
+What energy are you sending out into the world on a daily basis?
+I have been getting a lot of wear out of this adorable $35 heart necklace. I like to layer it with other pieces! (Or you can up the ante with this gorgeous heart from Aurelia Demark!)
+I shared both of these yesterday but ICYMI, two GREAT Ulla-esque dresses for around $100: this terracotta colored one and this sweet pink (also avail in cream!)
+Mini is going to freak out over this Lego Encanto set on her birthday. We also bought her one of these storytelling boxes from Tonies and an American Girl Bitty Baby (her number 1 request!) along with some of her accessories.
+This wicker magazine basket is fab and well-priced.
A: Congratulations! I just came across this under-$200 dress and swooned over it. Very Johanna Ortiz but at a great price. Perfect combo of youthful and elegant. I’ve shared this one before, but I would probably wear something frothy and feminine like it (or this, from the same brand). Why not?! So chic! I also think this white lace jumpsuit would be bananas, and this gingham sequin number from Markarian is the stuff of dreams! Last but not least, if you’re not wedded to white (ha), I just purchased myself this petal pink dress. The pleating is divine and it feels like something exquisitely crafted by a Parisian couturier for a special occasion. It would make such an elegant statement at a rehearsal dinner.
Q: An unusual statement dress to wear to a bachelorette (I’m not the bride) in Mexico.
A: Andale! This Zimmermann would also be memorable — no one wears yellow! (50% off, too!)
Q: Springy finds outside of the pastel color palette.
A: Oo I think you might like this post on neutrals (these jeans and this top just arrived in the mail for me from this post), or this one on crisp basics featuring a lot of chic, timeless stripes. A few other fabulous, non-pastel spring finds:
THIS BYTIMO — PROB WOULD ONLY WORK ON US SHORTIES!
Q: Housewarming gift for a couple that just bought a condo in NYC.
A: Fresh white towels from Matouk or a gift basket from Eataly to help stock the pantry.
Q: Dress for bridal shower in NYC in March.
A: I am assuming you are the bride? (Congrats!). I love this, this, this, this, and this. This or this would be pretty as a non-white/something blue option. If a guest, I love this, this, this, this!
Q: Round kitchen room table that can handle “love” from boys.
A: Ha! I love a simple round pedestal style like this and I feel the wash would hide a whole manner of sins.
Q: Mother-of-the-groom dress for a July wedding. Farmhouse chic.
A: So exciting! Farmhouse chic makes me think a little less dressy, summery florals appropriate. A few dresses in that vein that still feel “special occasion”:
Q: Wedding day fragrance. I don’t know where to start!
A: Fragrances are so personal! I would go to a department store or Sephora and take some time with it. I will say my two personal favorite fragrances are Narcisco Rodriguez Her and Diptyque Fleur de Peau. Both are delicate, floral, and yet complex/slightly musky? I adore (!) both and wear one or the other daily, even when I work out, which says something because I feel like usually fragrances give me a headache when running. They are just so light and elegant. A part of me for sure! I’ve also been curious to sample some of the scents by Maison Francis Kurkdjian. A lot of elegant ladies seem to love these scents! They sell “fragrance wardrobes” so you can test a bunch of their different scents if you want to go that direction!
A: I was just talking with a girlfriend about the fact that you can absolutely get away with anything anywhere in NYC. I once wore basically an evening gown to eat pizza at Rubirosa and no one batted an eye. But Bemelman’s — I feel like you can really pull out all the stops. I would aim north of a sundress and aim for true cocktail attire. A few that nail the vibe — sort of festive but sophisticated —
Q: Could you possibly post a staple/capsule wardrobe for a 22 year old who just received a job at a high end Hedge fund/advisor/financial shop? want to look like an episode of “Billions” but on a 22 year olds budget…
A: Wow! Congratulations! I would stalk sale pieces from Veronica Beard (like this timeless button down) and Theory at Saks (i.e., pants like these or these) and Theory itself (like this top and this dress) — good quality, sophisticated, well-tailored. You can often find great basic LBDs at Zara, like this. Dress up with pearls and heels and you’ll look like a million bucks. Speaking of heels, this exact pair from J. Crew is probably my most worn shoe in my entire wardrobe, and it’s currently on sale for under $100. Just the chicest. I’ve mentioned it a bunch of times, but have a few friends who own multiples of Manolo’s similar BB style pump and they prefer the J. Crew from a comfort standpoint! A few other great-for-work, sophisticated pieces at reasonable price points:
Another option would be a Rent the Runway subscription. I had one specifically for professional attire back when I was presenting/pitching for my technology business and needed a lot of new and different looks all of the sudden that were professional and polished but I did not want to spend a fortune buying new suits/dresses that I’d wear a handful of times.
P.P.S. Still digesting this moment of mom guilt and the many interesting comments on this post!
P.P.P.S. Children’s toys you won’t mind leaving out.
By: Jen Shoop
Among the many fascinating and sharp comments on last week’s icebreaker post, Erin wrote: “I am the best version of myself in the fall.” So many of you write with such poised self-awareness, and comments like this feel spring-loaded in the best possible way: those ten words might contain years of a spiraling search for self. Such comments come to me, tadpole-like: a small, well-formed anterior with a diaphanous, long tail. They bring to mind these words from Toni Morrison:
“The difficulty for me in writing—among the difficulties—is to write language that can work quietly on a page for a reader who doesn’t hear anything. Now for that, one has to work very carefully with what is in between the words. What is not said. Which is measure, which is rhythm, and so on. So, it is what you don’t write that frequently gives what you do write its power.”
Just to say — reading some of your well-turned comments last week (and always!) gestured at the depths to which you have plumbed to know yourselves.
I am curious, though: when are you the best version of yourself? Have you given that prompt much thought?
My answer came quickly. I feel my best — my full self, my whole being — when I am with my husband, and I am certain it is because I feel wholly loved by him.
But what does “at my best” mean? I intuitively think – “full-fat, whole milk.” But maybe it means “when I am most at service to others” or “most creative” or or or —
What do you think?
If we follow my intuition, I continue to think I am at my best when with Landon. He follows me to every turret and gate in my personality and meets me there. You would think that after being together for nearly twenty years (!), we would know one another so well as to be able to take shortcuts in these meanderings, but no: there is always, with him, a surprise, and he affords me the same latitude. He keeps me on my toes in a way that leaves me honest, agile, and curious, and at the same time motivated to explore the full range of my emotions and thoughts. (I can change — And he will meet me there, too!) I feel sometimes that I self-mediate too much in my interactions with others: I am always hyper-aware of how other people are reacting and receiving my energy, and sometimes this alertness thwarts an authentic exchange. But Mr. Magpie brings out the most stripped-down, guileless, authentic version of myself. (It seems like it has always been this way, but is it really the benefit of time and age?)
How about you? So as not to bait the question, your answer might be wildly different: tethered to a place, or a phase of life, or an actual season (c.f. Erin’s comment), or a time of day, or none of those things. I did briefly think about mentioning that I felt like a better version of myself while pregnant with my son. There was something about that pregnancy that filled me with uncharacteristic serenity. I remember walking through New York while expecting him and feeling like I was absolutely floating through my day, anointed with an unearned grace. Which is, you know, saying a lot because New York has a habit of battering you around and showing you who’s boss. (I am here reminded of a fantastic New Yorker comic sketch of a haggard looking man staggering into his apartment and his wife saying: “Who won today, you or New York?”).
+”Put differently: I am only half living when we are apart. The other half is suspended in anticipatory conversation, waiting for the moment when I can fill you in.” (From miscellaneous reflections on 10 years of marriage.)
+Many of you love this post on Mr. Magpie’s Jeep. His foil and ferry.
+This wrap coat is so unexpected in that sky blue. I have a mauvey-lilac-pink coat from years ago that I get compliments on ALL the time. It is so unusual and fun to see a statement coat!
+Speaking of unexpected: these Gucci sneaks do all the talking for you.
+ADORE this cropped, hot pink cardigan. (Still on a hot pink kick — I bought this hot pink sports bra (more sizes with no discount here) from Beyond Yoga and it sparks major joy for me. Do I need the matching shorts?!)
+This $24 cardigan for a little has been a big hit/help this season. It goes with SO much in mini’s wardrobe and is a nice quality for the price. Would be great heading into spring!
+Eyeing these pants for spring/summer. I have been trying, the last few years, to get out of my denim rut and wear different types of trousers/bottoms! These feel so chic.
+This crisp Rosie Assoulin dress is like 70% off. SO chic.
By: Jen Shoop
*Image via Iga Wysocka. She is SO chic! I recreated one of her other neutral looks here.
I am loving a lot of the winter whites out right now — ecru, ivory, bone, canvas — mixed in with taupes, almonds, browns! I specifically want to mention that my favorite Madewell jeans are now available in an on-trend canvas color; this great tote is now marked down to under $50; and this Ulla-esque top (under $100) is just fab! Below, a few favorite finds…
Mini turns five next month, and setting aside my emotionality on this subject, I am arranging a superhero-themed birthday party for her. She is an enormous fan of the Avengers, especially Spider-Man, whom she dressed up as on Halloween. When she came sprinting out of our house in her costume (with pink hi-tops!), my neighbor said: “Man, seeing your daughter dressed up as SpiderMan makes me hopeful for the future.” I didn’t know exactly what she meant, but I also, on same base level, did. I love her spirit, too.
Anyway, I worked with my incredibly talented friend Erin to design invitations with the following amazing motif:
And a few of the great items I’ve purchased for the actual day below…
You’re Soooo Popular: Spring Shoes.
The most popular items on le blog this week:
THIS SIMKHAI DRESS, NOW ON SALE FOR UNDER $300! — MORE SIZES HERE AT LESS OF A DISCOUNT
“Sometimes we forget that baby steps move us forward, too.”
I came across that quote, dismissed it as corny, and then could not stop thinking about it. For much of my life, I was impulsive when it came to tackling projects, goals, hobbies. I wanted it done now, immediately, as quickly as possible, and I often felt frustrated when I couldn’t make significant headway in a short amount of time. I am thinking specifically about some of the gargantuan tasks I undertook at the outset of building my technology business, when every day felt like Big Skies and the Wild West: me, swinging my arms around enormous, knotty activities, like naming the business (more complicated than it seems! involves thorough competitive analysis, legal consultations — i.e., trademarks! knockout searches! –, domain name considerations, branding, etc!), interviewing lawyers to represent us (but what questions to ask?!), setting up a placeholder website (what domain names are available? can I purchase this one from so-and-so?), etc. It felt as though I was moving about a quarter of an inch per day when I wanted to be running miles. It felt like I was wildly out of control, sprinting beyond my own personal pace best, and yet was occasionally moving in reverse, if moving at all. In short, entrepreneurship taught me to move quickly and with purpose, but to summarily forget about conventional markers of progress. More important: keep priorities clear (usually limited to three crystal-clear objectives achievable in 90 days) and work towards them with blinders on. Forget about how fast or slow the train is moving. Just keep walking narrowly down the aisle.
Anyhow, yes to the notion that baby steps — bite-sized, itty-bitty accomplishments — are more often than not the key to “getting there.”
Shopping Break.
+This is my favorite tank for pairing with high-waisted skirts — and only $30! I bought it in white specifically to pair with this Horror Vacui skirt, which I own in a different pattern. Anyway, I just saw the tank comes in a great new sage green color that I need.
+Have also been hearing good things about these new $8 tanks at Target! Adding one to my next order…
+WOW — this white dress is somehow under $40 and absolutely spectacular.
+Sleeper vibes for under $100. (But I did find the actual Sleeper dress on sale for 50% off here! Great maternity/post-partum/coming home from hospital dress!)
+A great wear-with-everything heel for all of your dressier occasions this summer.
+This inexpensive one-piece is perfect for a little boy in the navy. Reminds me of a few similar ones I had from Rylee + Cru for micro!
+BTW — Rylee + Cru has a diffusion line at Target! Some great, inexpensive, unfussy pieces for littles. These little sets are great for cozy days at home / travel days / etc.
+These $10 denim sneaks are beyond adorable. Ordered for micro.
+Just bought this pink bin for my daughter’s rapidly expanding Barbie and specifically Barbie furniture collection. I just gave her all of the dolls my sisters and I had when growing up (like 30 Barbies and tons of accessories, furniture, dresses) and they’re currently overflowing in her room! We have the same bin in blue for Duplos and it’s perfect! Such great colors.
+Love these sneakers. Kind of Converse-meets-Superga. Would look great with black stripes!
+The next two mascaras I am testing (thanks to many upvotes from Magpies — and there are many others I want to try, too!): Thrive and Lancome. (PSA: I would skip Chantecaille’s incredibly expensive formula. It’s gotten so much hype but is so flakey!)
+Also going to test these Elemis pads after I get through my current jar of glycolic acid pads. I feel like I don’t need / wouldn’t be able to use them both simultaneously but they seem to be getting at similar results.
+These $30 men’s swim trunks remind me of the expensive ones from Vilbrequin!
+Sweet, inexpensive Valentine gift for a teen/tween.
+Cute Vday books for your little ones: this, this, and this.
+I’m obsessed with Marysia’s sport pieces, including this top and this skirt.
+I love this funky little barrette! Can’t decide if I need for me or for my daughter…
+These little pouches are adorable. Perfect for pens, makeup brushes, etc. This boutique carries similar pouches in bigger sizes at a great price. They’re lined, too!
By: Jen Shoop
*Image above via Self Portrait featuring their tiny tweed ombre dress. You can get a similar sherpa headband here for $5.
I’m looking forward to retiring mini’s winter wardrobe in favor of some pretty spring finds, if Mother Nature ever cooperates! It has been strangely cold here…
Two separate prompts today, possibly working against one another.
The first: a self-growth exercise I encountered online that invited me to list the ten relationships I value most. This was the easy bit. The thornier half: realizing that I do not nurture all of these relationships with the time and energy they deserve. It has led to a difficult accounting regimen. I find myself auditing invitations and opportunities with more ruthlessness, yet I prickle at the idea that I am foreclosing upon new or deepened friendships. (But a gal can’t have twenty-two best friends, can she?). Maybe, though, now is a time to divest some of the extracurriculars I mentioned here in favor of time with friends old and new?
The second: “Do not whine. Do not complain. Work harder. Spend more time alone.” — Joan Didion. This resonates with the characteristic Didion chill: her words not only (to quote her elsewhere) “illustrate something deep in the grain, something unadmitted” but do so with the kind of wrenching, metallic clank of a scalpel returning to its tray. I read those words and thought to myself: “How many of my pretty frustrations are actually manifestations of an unmet need to explore my feelings more thoroughly?”
And yet how to find time for myself and also for the relationships that nurture me, to say nothing of incipient friendships? An impossible calculus problem!
The interior designer Mark D. Sikes shared on Instagram this past week that he had been working on designing a dress for a special woman, and that there was still some hemming and sewing to be done before it was complete. He added: “Life is a fitting. Think about that.” So, yes, in the spirit of art-in-formation and the intermittent, occasionally recursive, snips and stitches that a life of self-reflection requires, all I can say today is that I am doubling down on my intentionality with my time. If I agree to do something, I want to agree to it fully, and after, measure my day in terms of my degree of presence in those commitments rather than my degree of productiveness. And if I say no — and I must say no more often! — I will reallocate that time to something higher priority.
+One of my favorite dresses I’ve bought in recent memory (from Mille!) is on sale! I’m eyeing this fun green top from their sale section myself. Would be great for a St. Patrick’s Day moment!
+Perfectly oversized sweatshirt. (Look for less with this!)
+These wide-leg wool blend pants are calling my name.
+Love a ruffle neck sweater, especially this one in the ivory.
By: Jen Shoop
*Image via ByTimo, featuring their midi dress, on sale here.
I’ve come across a small treasure trove of insanely good bargains on great designer finds. Many of these are available in highly limited quantities, so…run!
FROTHY BYTIMO — PERFECT FOR EASTER! ALSO LOVE THIS MINI BY THE SAME BRAND
THESE CARRIE FORBES MULES FOR $70!…ALSO COME IN A FLAT VERSION
WHITE RAIN SLICKER — FUNNY CONNECTION: MY SISTER WORKED FOR THIS NYC-BASED DESIGNER DURING OR JUST AFTER PARSON’S!
Not high-end designer, but I also just snapped up a few basics to get me through the rest of this prolonged winter, all great deals, too — another one of these silk-blend mocknecks (in black), this striped button down, and one of these Nanushka ribbed turtlenecks, too. I love the way a slim-fit turtleneck or mockneck looks tucked into my go-to jeans, which I just purchased in the new canvas color (I got $20 off my order with code HONEY20 — you might try!)
