TEENY-TINY NAVY BANDANA PATTERNED TWO-PIECE RUFFLED SET — THIS SET (OR THIS RED WHITE AND BLUE ONE PIECE) WOULD BE PERFECT FOR FOURTH-OF-JULY FESTIVITIES (MORE PATRIOTIC PICKS HERE)
GIRLS BLUE GINGHAM DRESS WITH FLUTTER SLEEVES AND BOW DETAIL
My brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew have been staying with us for the past ten days. They now live in Trondheim, Norway and as in-person visits have grown thin on the ground, for the past ten days, I have been unplugged from everything but their company and the care of my children. I have felt during this time a pre-emptive nostalgia, as though anticipating the burst of a bubble before the sphere has even been fully enclosed. I tell myself to stop. To sit in the moment. To absorb my wide-eyed niece, shucking peas straight from Mr. Magpie’s garden into her mouth, the same girl who elicited an “Oh my gosh! She looks just like you, Jen!” from a neighbor. To let the afternoons pass in idle conversation with my sister-in-law, as we drink La Croix that sweats in the heat of this Washington summer, or gin and tonics as we sit beneath the shelter of our covered pack porch, watching a thunderstorm or lightning bugs or the comings and goings of birds in the twilight. She has taught me a lot about birds during this visit. I was startled at first by her excitement over the sighting of a cardinal in our back yard, as they are common here. We must have a dozen living in the trees that flank our back yard. “A cardinal!” she cried, gesticulating me over on day one of her stay. I admit to responding temperately. But over these ten precious days, I have found myself increasingly won over by her study. She shared with me the contours of a mindfulness practice in which one sits still and observes carefully the entrances and exits of birds in one’s line of sight. I realize now how oblivious I have been to the avian majesty right outside our door, how blind I have been to their near frenetic activity. The backyard has felt like a pleasant void for me after the mayhem of Manhattan, and yet — it is anything but. Tracking only the movements of crows, doves, cardinals, sparrows, robins (overlooking the chipmunks, squirrels, bunnies, butterflies, bees, and parade of other insects) unveils a wild circus of movement. It is as though I have just now traced the shape in an autostereogram: it suddenly juts out at me with an obviousness that astonishes. And yet even this discovery has felt like an echo. I see my own home in this new way thanks to her, and I feel a pinch of precipitous nostalgia.
I sometimes feel that I can’t get it quite right: I am too busy and distracted, or I am too slow and attentive, and either way, I feel as though I abandon the present.
One thing I have wondered during this time of pause is whether it was a good idea to arrest my writing practice for its duration. I have written nothing in ten days and I have felt nearly achey with undigested thought and experience. Perhaps I should have stolen away for twenty minutes here and there to put some thoughts down on paper — to write about the birds, the peas off the vine, the electricity of my brother’s easy laughter. I did not realize how intensely I let my emotions (even happy ones) pool into an uncomfortable surfeit without the egress of writing.
And yet, how could I? Ten days with my brother, whom I may not see for another two years.
I just finished reading Ann Patchett’s “These Precious Days,” and the synchrony between that text and the one I have been living in our home paws at me with purpose. Patchett writes in those essays about her near-physical need to forge a story out of the filament of everyday life. She writes this even as she faces the imminent death of a friend. I have felt on many occasions that writing defies death, both in the practical sense (I can preserve the memories of the dead, protecting them from erosion or oblivion) and in the philosophical (I might argue that writing is all possibility and conjecture — no endings, no conclusivenesses, and certainly no deaths — as all texts change as they meet new contexts, readers, etc). I think that by not writing a single word these past many days, I have felt a kind of dread, as though a beautiful stretch of life has washed over me, and I have lacked the agency to capture any of it. I fear its absence even as I sit inside of it. This sensation is neither new nor idiosyncratic. I am confident all mothers can relate to an analogous emotional fissure borne of wanting desperately to hang on to every last detail of her three-year-old and also wanting desperately to just make it to bedtime. I realize now that, for decades, writing has accommodated these heartbreaks, spinning a thin web beneath me, affording me the space and traction to make my way though emotional piquancies. And so sitting here absent a pen has left me prone to particular sentimentality.
But — so what? This is living with emotional openness. I realize now that for ten days, I have been conducting my own kind of emotional ornithology: sitting still, observing the entrances and exits of feelings as they flit into and out of my peripheral vision. There is nothing ominous about these movements. There is no head to them, no hardness either: they are all heart.
+URGENT: found Mason Pearson brushes on sale for 30% off with code SAVEMORE. I have the junior one and it is truly a gamechanger — it has something to do with distributing oil in the hair? Total must have for me. These are the kinds of tools you buy once in your life and have forever.
+If you can’t fathom dropping that much money on a brush, this detangling brush is also REALLY good — I use it on mini every day. Around $12!
+Two really good, reasonably priced day dresses for summer: this blue pinstripe and this white eyelet. (Both around $100).
+These monogrammed seersucker swim trunks for boys come in great colors/fonts!
+Love these woven swivel chairs for a breakfast nook.
+Everlane’s new crochet knit pieces are so chic and well-priced! This skirt is in my cart already – I love the idea of pairing with the matching tank. (Crochet is trending this summer!)
+Boden is killing it ATM. Love this gingham dress with the smocking detail at the neck, and this hot pink number.
+All Boden’s children collection is currently 25% off using code CW25. I am LOVING this little ric rac trim dress, which reminds me of something by Celia B!
Below, a roundup of fabulous cover-ups — many simple pieces in crisp white, and a couple fun patterned styles for good measure, too, including the $25 mini caftan I’m wearing above. All under $50, many under $25.
More great beachwear finds here and here; beach hats here; and beach bags here!
Pricier, but this Tory Burch caftan is half off and SUCH a great investment piece.
Last but not least, I have owned a pair of Tkees flips for probably over a decade. Never needed another pair. These last forever and are the slimmest, lowest profile of flip flops (which I generally dislike).
No one is actually shopping for the $6,000 Emilia Wickstead gown seen above but it was too beautiful a shot not to share at some point on Magpie. Swoon!
Q: Some fun costume jewelry to dress up plain black and white summer outfits.
A: I love my new shell necklace (look for less with this) with a simple tee. This beaded styhttps://bit.ly/3NxcJH3le would also be fun paired with a simple white dress. I also really like the on-trend, bold, candy-necklace-style all over the place, especially the ones from Maison Monik, or this one from Anthro or this one from Cloverpost (imagine with a white strapless dress!). This oversized shell would be fun to layer with other pieces. And I can’t stop thinking about the styles from Lizzie Fortunato!
Q: An alterative to Hermes Orans. I love them but I am tired of them.
Q: Designer swimsuits on sale…are there any marked down yet?! Really want to make an investment but hoping to save a little.
A: You’re in luck: I was just up this morning hunting for some for myself. I earmarked this Agua Bendita, this Zimmermann, this Mara Hoffman, this Hunza G (40% off!), and this reversible Marysia (basically two suits in one!)
Q: Summer dresses, no strapless, midi, sweat invisible, under $150.
A: I don’t know if I can help with the sweat invisibility, but a few great midi dresses for summer under $150:
Q: Mirror for a five year old boy’s bedroom, above dresser. Less than $500.
A: I love these bone inlay mirrors (fun to add a pop of color) and this white ball mirror (youthful, fun, and would go with virtually any decor)! More decor for children’s rooms here.
Q: Top to go with a skirt for black tie.
A: Check out Andres Otalora! Lots of fun styles, on sale — including this strapless style (a variation available in white), this peplum, and this organza.
A: Congratulations, mama! It can be overwhelming. I shared some of my must-haves here, and to this list I would add a baby bath tub (I used this when my babies were very little because I’d had a c-section and it was hard to bend over, and then switched to this), this bottle drying rack (still in use in our home for sippy cups, children’s plates, etc), and Wubbanubs. Neither of my children used pacifiers for long but I found them helpful for both when young, and these are much more difficult to lose than others thanks to the little stuffy at the end. Also – never go anywhere without these tiny trash bags. They saved me so many times while out and about — you don’t want to have to leave a stinky diaper at a friend’s house, and they are also good for containing clothes that have been subject to throw up, blow-outs, etc.
A: Personally, I prefer upholstered headboards, and this classic style from S&L is timeless, elegant, and inviting — plus, you can pick a color you love. (Ours was a dove gray.) For bedside tables, I love these ones from Ballard. The drawers are great for containing all bedside must-haves (remotes, pens, tissues, glasses, lotions, books, iPads, etc) and the bottom shelf is ideal for styling with books or a hyacinth basket with additional essentials or slippers. I also like their substantial width. My one complaint about the bedside tables in our primary bedroom is that they are too narrow — I always feel like I have a stack of things at my side and wish I had more real estate to spread out my phone, my water, my iPad, my remotes, etc next to my lamp! I’m also drawn to the clean lines of this PB style, and the lattice on this one. A bit trendier, but these raffia scalloped ones add so much texture, depth, dimension, etc! I saw these used in the guest room we stayed in at the Blue Rock Inn in VA and fell in love.
Q: Dress for under $300 for family beach photos.
A: I think Mille’s Victoria style is perfect — flattering, slightly dramatic thanks to the length, and comes in a bunch of different colors/patterns (including timeless navy and summery paisley). Plus, I think most of us find sleeves to be friendly in photos. I also know so many women who love Anthro’s Somerset dress for this purpose — also comes in loads of great colors/patterns. A few other under-$300 dresses that I love…
Q: Black tie wedding in Ireland in September. I’m short!
A: Fellow shortie over here! I like this dramatic Staud and this voluminous, lacey Sau Lee.
Q: A chic and utilitarian weekender bag.
A: I love Paravel’s style, Neely and Chloe’s version, and Cuyana (always gets high marks for quality/detail).
Q: Easy but stylish throw on dresses for summer. Nothing too colorful, frilly, etc.
A: Gap has some really great, unfussy dresses for summer — this midi in black or white, this khaki beauty, this mini, this eyelet. All four can be dressed up/down in a million ways, whether with sneakers, fisherman sandals, or woven mules. You can also find some great, versatile pieces at Boden (like this white linen), Mango (like this shirt dress), and Ann Taylor (like this eyelet). I also love the throw-on styles at Target, including this swiss dot, and this black maxi.
And the first hour of reunion can augment that distance —
Polite questions, “oh I saw you did that on Instagram!,” and “What are you watching on TV?”, and “isn’t the weather awful?”
And sometimes a long pause during which I do not know where to settle my eyes.
But then there is a click, always,
A leaning in, voices hushed or faces drawn,
And the exchange of an intimate story seems to flatten and cinch the mountains and privacies between us.
I have come to dread the peaks during that first sixty minutes, but equally trust that they are just a gate, a wire frame to walk through, a window dressing of irrelevant questions,
Before I find the laughs come easy and the stories run as long as they do deep, pooling in your arms, and then returning to me in your own words.
Post-Scripts.
+I have been thinking a lot about female friendship since writing this post. I was so overwhelmed by the flood of private messages and emails on this subject — so many of us have felt alone in the dissolutions and evolutions of our female friendships!
+These pull-on linen pants are SO chic and come in great colors. Do I need them in both ice blue and black?!
+Keep hearing good things about this book. I just finished reading The Paris Apartment (I was so-so on it…kind of fun but not in the upper echelons of ‘good thriller books’ for me) and listening to These Precious Days and am now reading The Witch’s Heart and listening to Dave Grohl’s memoir. What about you?
+This pillow-top hammock in the navy and white stripe is SO good!
+Adore these tile-print espadrilles. So chic with a simple white dress.
+I mentioned recently how much I love the items I’ve purchased from Alice Walk — such great mix-and-match basics, so well-designed! I’d love to add one of these sweaters and one of these sweatshirts to my closet.
+Love this new pattern on one of my all-time favorite dresses (I own in a blue stripe).
+Bought myself some of these to organize the children’s closets a bit better. I finally sorted all their toys, art materials, etc, and now need to tackle the closet situation — specifically all of their outgrown clothes. I’m long overdue for a big sort, donate, sell, etc.
+This maxi dress in the green floral is unbelievable. More summer wedding guest dress options here.
+LOVE these party crackers. Sometimes the concept for a birthday party / gathering stems from ONE item, like these crackers, and then I track down things to match.
+My top pick for the FOJ. This Ulla (on sale!) would also be fun. More options here.
15 fantastic items for outdoor fun this summer that we personally own and use heavily —
BALLARD DESIGN DINING CHAIRS — One of my favorite furniture purchases we’ve made in recent memory. We specifically wanted all of the chairs outside to have arm rests — not just the end chairs — because when you are sitting, picking crabs late into the summer night, it’s nice to lean back with arm support! These are so attractive!!! I love that they can be kept clean with relative ease — a wipe of soapy water and they look sparkling clean. We swapped out the cushions for a punchy yellow and white sunbrella stripe.
WONDERBOOM OUTDOOR SPEAKER — Mr. Magpie always pokes fun at me for my obsession with well-reviewed Amazon products, but seriously! Almost 10,000 five star reviews don’t lie. This little guy is powerful, easy to use, and perfect for outdoors. We carry him everywhere. Mr. Magpie uses him while gardening and grilling, and we’ll bring him outside on the patio for dinner or out front while supervising the children scooting/biking.
OUTDOOR CUSHIONS — We inherited some white rattan patio furniture, which I love!, but it came with really ugly floral cushions. We swapped those out for this crisp set from Amazon and I am totally impressed with the quality. It has held up beautifully and we did not even cover the furniture/cushions this winter, as we should have. They still look good as new.
MELAMINE PLATES — Though Target has some excellent inexpensive ones on offer this summer, I still cherish this set of blue floral ones. I use them year-round, honestly, often serving my children (and myself) breakfast off of them, but they are perfect for outdoor dining for obvious reasons, too.
FROSTED FLEX CUPS — Reusable, dishwasher-safe cups for roadies, outdoor hangs, etc. These have already come in such handy. Love that you can personalize this set, but I have one of their pre-designed sets. Use them allll the time.
WOVEN COASTERS — I just love the look of this inexpensive, Serena & Lily-inspired set, which is now stationed permanently on our back patio.
COLEMAN STEEL COOLER — A chic way to keep beer/wine icy cold while outdoors. We also like to use this for parties, so people aren’t opening and closing the fridge all night, and/or to create an extra “station” to keep people moving. (We’ll put wine/cocktails on a table separately.)
MINNIDIP POOL — We have ours for three years and the children are absolutely in love with this. I’m impressed with the quality. The sides are really thick and cushioned when filled with air. And such cute patterns! You will, however, find one of these handy!
CUTTER BUG REPELLENT WIPES — These are so incredible. I buy them in bulk. They really work and are gentle enough to put on children. Plus, I love the easy application — so much better than spray for children.
CORDLESS ELECTRIC LEAF BLOWER — When we first bought our house, I purchased a deck broom thinking it would be a suitable implement for keeping our patio/covered porch tidy. A Magpie reader wrote to gently suggest a leaf blower. OMG. This thing is magic and Mr. Magpie pulls it out constantly to clear debris, dirt, leaves, etc. He loves this brand, Ego — he also has their lawn mower, edger, and a few other yard tools — because they all have interchangeable, rechargeable batteries. They are pretty damn quiet compared to fuel-powered options. For some reason, every man I meet is obsessed with this brand.
THERMACELL MOSQUITO REPELLENT — There are so many mosquitoes in swampy D.C. We love this rechargeable, odorless mosquito repellent machine. You set it up 15 minutes before you intend to go outside and it REALLY keeps the beasts at bay. Layer on the Cutter wipes and you are golden!
ELAKAI CORNHOLE SET — A recent addition — these are absolutely gorgeous. Like, you won’t mind having them out on your front lawn. They are so beautifully made!
LACQUER SERVING TRAYS — In constant use. Helpful for transporting things from inside to out, but also for demarcating little spaces, or setting up a snack on the grass.
ACRYLIC PITCHER — Another great buy. We got ours for our wedding or perhaps early into our marriage as a gift, and have used it constantly over the years. Great for things like sangria and margs, but also for the more practical: a big pitcher of ice water!
PICNIC BLANKET — Maybe one of our most-used-ever items?! We used this ALL THE TIME in NYC while availing ourselves of Central Park, and ALL THE TIME here, whether picnicking or just setting up a nice spot for the children to work on a project. I like this one because it can be wrapped up for easy carry home from the park / Wolf Trap / etc.
P.P.S. I had big goals for May. I mainly lived up to them, at least in the sense that I got outside and challenged myself to learn a lot. How did you fare?
Not particularly exciting, but I just restocked our home with Molton Brown’s Rhubarb and Rose hand soap. It is my absolute favorite — so elegant and not overly feminine (not too floral). I decant into this soap dispenser in our powder room (I also have the matching waste basket — love the pattern, and it goes perfectly with our grasscloth wallpaper, which has a kind of cane design to it).
P.S. My other favorite hand soaps here, at all price points.
You’re Soooo Popular: Early Summer Finds.
The most popular items on Magpie this week:
PINK SCALLOPED ONE-PIECE MARYSIA SWIMSUIT — ON SALE FOR 40% CURRENTLY
Last Monday, I invited my Instagram followers to share a one-word intention for the week. I was struck by how many of us are seeking permutations of the same: calm, quiet, reset, peace, grace, gentleness came up several times. It occurred to me this morning that one way to slow time is to sit with a poem. A poem rebuts the modern urge to skim. A poem must be handled carefully, each word a pea shucked into one’s lap and held there on angled knees. If you read too quickly, you will miss the magic.
So today, I thought I’d share a recent discovery of mine: Jennifer O’Grady’s “Moths.” I was taken by the way it maps the internal world onto the natural one. These lines in particular strike me: “translucent as a thought suddenly / wondered aloud, illuming the air / that’s thick with honeysuckle and dust.” The movement between the physical experience of a summer night and the metaphorical is swift and masterful. Gorgeous, well-shaped writing. Thought I’d leave it here for you to chew on, too.
Moths
Adrift in the liberating, late light of August, delicate, frivolous, they make their way to my front porch and flutter near the glassed-in bulb, translucent as a thought suddenly wondered aloud, illumining the air that’s thick with honeysuckle and dusk. You and I are doing our best at conversation, keeping it light, steering clear of what we’d like to say. You leave, and the night becomes cluttered with moths, some tattered, their dumbly curious filaments startling against my cheek. How quickly, instinctively, I brush them away. Dazed, they cling to the outer darkness like pale reminders of ourselves. Others seem to want so desperately to get inside. Months later, I’ll find the woolens, snug in their resting places, full of missing pieces.
-Jennifer O’Grady
Shopping Break.
+These wave hoop earrings are inexpensive but so chic — I have been getting a lot of use out of them this summer already. While at Madewell, check out some of their cute new arrivals, especially this tiered denim dress, which looks like something Ulla would issue, and these fun rope sandals.
+This Saloni jumpsuit is SO good. I have to say that Saloni is one of my favorite, relatively under-the-radar labels — the cut/tailoring is always so exquisite. I think I now own five or six of their dresses. I always feel lean and long in their styles, which says a lot since I’m 5’0!
+This dress is insanely fun — love the pattern, colors, and unexpected collar! — and yet demure enough to wear to a lady’s lunch. Can’t beat the price!
+These glass drinking straws come in such fun colors. We already have these rose gold ones but I’m tempted by these…
+These footed glasses are plastic – perfect for outdoor dining!
+OMG this romper for littles. It WOULD be from a brand founded by French sisters with the names Anais and Clemence. BEYOND. Also love this dress from the same label.
+I daydream about La Double J’s breakfast dress. So, so chic. Comes in a few fabulous patterns each season.
+These colorful woven hoop earrings are SO fun (and under $10).
+This D&G dress is on sale and beyond adorable. I rarely buy high-end designers like that, but I did purchase a D&G bustier dress for my honeymoon and every time I have worn it since, I have felt like a million bucks.
+Have always wanted to wear a nautical stripe sweater on a windy, overcast beach day.
+This necklace is so chic (and well priced) for summer. I like the idea of layering it with a few other shorter styles.
+This top and the matching skirt would be an unexpected and chic bridal look!
+Lake issued its popular patio dress in several new colors and I love their new swiss dot style too!
I am writing this on the eve of my children’s last day of school. I stare at those words and they do not penetrate. I actually cannot wrap my head around the fact that, starting tomorrow at 11:30 a.m., my children will be more or less at home, sans schedule, for three months. One of the many paradoxes of motherhood is that I both want them to be home with me and cannot wait for them to be at school — it is very difficult to find sustained quiet for writing when they are in the house. I am always half-listening and half-gauging whether that thud was my son’s head or perhaps an expensive heirloom that should not have been played with. Anyhow — mini will be participating in three weeks of day camp, and both will attend swim lessons, but besides that, the summer stretches out vacantly in front of them. I say them because I will be maintaining my work hours, and they will be largely in the care of our devoted and saintly nanny. She and I sat down last month and generated a long list of activities for the children, some more involved than others. There will be many outdoor days at a nearby playground and in our backyard, rainy days at the library and local My Gym-type place, and then, every Friday, I have scheduled a morning outing for the four of us (Mr. Magpie will be working). On this list are trips to Glen Echo aquarium, the Children’s Museum, the movies (!), a pottery painting studio, a nature center, mini golf, the zoo. It required a herculean effort to organize myself, generate the list, and research tickets and logistics, but now that I have calendared it all and printed out the schedule on paper for our nanny, I am excited at the prospect of participating in their summer in this structured way. But principally, my intention is for them to have one of those unspooling, easy summers to which I laid claim for much of my childhood: early morning play in the basement, watermelon right out of the fridge, bare feet on grass. I’ve been describing it to my friends as “a very backyard, dirt-focused summer.” We lived for a too-long time during the pandemic in an apartment together and though that memory is beginning to yellow at the edges, I still feel that this feels right for us this summer.
Anyhow. Yesterday, I spent five whole hours — five — organizing all of the toys in our house. We were at a place where many of our toy sets were scattered across three floors (and in the garage, too) and everything was jumbled together. I spent hours gathering the diaspora of sets of matchbox cars, my little ponies, barbies, tool sets, duplos from hither and thither and reuniting them in properly sized bins, pouches, and baskets. I gathered and discarded thick piles of used-up sticker books and coloring books. I tossed broken crayons and all those little knick-knack plastic toys WE seem to accrue. I put baby toys we’ve outgrown into a separate bin and stowed it at the top of the playroom closet. I found a bigger bin to accommodate our now-expansive collection of costumes.
It was cathartic. I am sure this will only last a week, but the activity afforded me the impression of control just before summer swings through. In the process, I took note of some vacancies in my activity closet and have been putting together a large order of summer supplies and organizational tools for long or rainy days and thought I’d share some thoughts along these lines.
DELUXE WATER WOWS (SEEN ABOVE) — MR. MAGPIE’S COUSIN SENT THESE FOR THE CHILDREN AND THEY ARE NEXT LEVEL! WE’VE ALWAYS USED WATERWOWS BUT THESE INCLUDE A LITTLE SPY GLASS TO ADD TO THE FUN…MY CHILDREN ADORE THEM
BLANK, UNLINED NOTEBOOKS — MINI LOVES TO FILL THESE WITH PICTURES, WORDS, AND STICKERS
RE: STICKERS — MY CHILDREN JUST LOVE, LOVE, LOVE STICKERS AND THE SETS FROM MONDO LLAMA ARE FANTASTIC (YOU CAN SEPARATE INTO INDIVIDUAL SHEETS TO PARCEL OUT OVER A SUMMER/BETWEEN CHILDREN AND GOOD QUALITY FOR THE PRICE) — I JUST ADDED THESE, THESE, AND THESE TO MY CART TO HAVE ON HAND THIS SUMMER
I ALWAYS HAVE A CRAFT KIT ON HAND FROM EITHER MONDO LLAMA OR KID MADE MODERN (<<THESE ARE CURRENTLY BUY ONE, GET ONE 50% OFF SO COULD BE GOOD TO BUY ONE AND KEEP ONE FOR A GIFT)…FUN TO JUST LET THEM MAKE WHATEVER THEY WANT, OR TO COME UP WITH A STRUCTURED ACTIVITY
STRETCHED CANVASES! — THESE ARE SUCH A FUN ACTIVITY, AND THEN THEY GIVE THE FINAL PRODUCT TO NEIGHBORS OR GRANDPARENTS…WE USE WASHABLE PAINT TO MINIMIZE MY STRESS LEVEL
I ALSO JUST DISCOVERED THESE SQUEEZABLE (WASHABLE) PAINT BRUSHES…COULD BE A FUN NEW MEDIUM FOR SUMMER
PAINT YOUR OWN DINOS KIT OR PAINT YOUR OWN VEHICLES KIT — I ALWAYS REPLACE THE PROVIDED PAINTS WITH WASHABLE PAINTS
DOT STICKERS ARE FUN FOR SO MANY THINGS – WRITE LETTERS ON THEM AND HAVE THEM MATCH THEM ON A POSTER YOU’VE WRITTEN WITH THE SAME LETTERS, DECORATE BOXES, ETC.
MELISSA & DOUG PUFFY STICKERS ARE AN OLD STANDBY — THIS TENDS TO BE WHAT MINI DOES BEFORE SHE FALLS ASLEEP AT NIGHT WHILE IN BED
THE USBORNE STICKER BOOKS ARE THE BEST, BUT THEY AREN’T REUSABLE AND ARE MORE PRICEY SO I TEND TO RESERVE THESE FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS/SPECIAL SURPRISES
CRAYONS — I KEEP THESE IN A DIVIDED COSMETICS CONTAINER OUT ON MINI’S TABLE AT ALL TIMES…THIS WOULD ALSO BE GOOD IF YOU WANT TO ORGANIZE MARKERS, CRAYONS, SCISSORS, ETC, BUT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY TO KEEP MARKERS OUT OF MICRO’S REACH
I KEEP THE REST OF OUR ART SUPPLIES IN THESE BINS HIGH ENOUGH OUT OF MICRO’S REACH NOT TO BE BOTHERED…ONE FOR MARKERS, ONE FOR PAINTS, ONE FOR CRAFT SUPPLIES, ETC…AT FIRST I RESENTED THE FACT THAT THE LIDS DON’T “SNAP ON” BUT ACTUALLY IT MEANS MINI HAS BEEN ABLE TO ACCESS THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM ME!
I BOUGHT THESE BIN CLIPS SO I CAN LABEL THE HYACINTH BINS WE HAVE ON THE BOTTOM OF OUR IKEA KALLAX UNIT — ONE FOR MUSIC STUFF, ONE FOR DOLL STUFF, ETC.
CRAYOLA MESS FREE PAGES – I FIND THIS IS THE KIND OF ACTIVITY THAT IS REALLY FUN IN SPARING DOSES…LIKE, I HIDE THESE KITS WHEN NOT IN USE AND TRY TO WAIT A FEW WEEKS BEFORE BRINGING OUT AGAIN
KINDERGARTEN WRITING PAPER — MINI HAS BEEN WORKING HARD ON HER WRITING AND LOVES TO USE THIS!
THE BEST SIDEWALK CHALK — SQUARE EDGES SO THEY DON’T ROLL ALL OVER THE PLACE AND SUPER BRIGHT COLORS…I ALSO JUST ADDED THIS SIDEWALK CHALK PAINT TO MY CART
WE HAVE TONS OF LITTLE FIGURES OF ANIMALS, KNIGHTS, ASTRONAUTS, ETC WE’VE AMASSED FOR SENSORY PLAY, BIRTHDAYS, ETC — I REALLY LOVE THEM AND THE CHILDREN PLAY WITH THEM ALL THE TIME; I KEEP THEM IN BINS LIKE THESE
DRY ERASE BOOKS LIKE THIS, THIS, AND THIS WITH EXTRA PENS IN FUN COLORS
I JUST ADDED THIS BIGGER DRY ERASE BOARD TO MY CART — MINI WILL LIKE THIS AND I LOVE THAT IT COLLAPSES FOR STORAGE
THIS AQUADOODLE MAT WAS SO HELPFUL DURING QUARANTINE — I PUT IT AWAY THE LAST FEW MONTHS BUT WILL COME IN HANDY THIS SUMMER
I DID BUY A FEW TONIES TO KEEP ON HAND WHEN IN NEED OF A BOOST OF FUN…CANNOT OVERSTATE HOW MUCH MY CHILDREN LOVE THE TONIES BOX
At some point over the past year, I came across some essay or post on how to react to prickly or inappropriate questions (say, for example, about when you’re going to have your next baby), and the expert advised a response along the lines of: “I am surprised you feel comfortable asking me that.” A clever comeback, I thought, in that it both declines to answer the question and makes clear that the query was unwelcome. Only I am positive that I would not be able to get this out without sweaty fluster, and a tongue trip over the word “comfortable.” Though I am in agreement with its gesture, I know myself well enough to intuit that it would feel far too aggressive for me to trot out in a moment already piqued by hurt or shock or irritation.
What, then, to say?
I remember an incident awhile back where a guest in my new home asked “And what are you going to do with this?” as she gestured to our kitchen and family room. Do with this? The words hung out there for a minute before I realized she was insinuating that it was not to her (our?) taste and needed “work” in order to bring it up to par. (For context, we had not been discussing home design or renovation — she simply threw it out there, as though it was clear as day that something needed to be done in that space. She had, by contrast, complimented the back porch, which made the question feel particularly pointed.) In the moment, I said I was going to “dream something up” with our decorator and then changed the subject. Later, I felt angry. The comment had been, I think, rude, but I was mainly upset with myself for not having the backbone to say something like: “Oh, we love it as it is!” Which is the truth. We are currently making modest changes to it but it’s a perfect layout for us and I wouldn’t change a thing about its structure, flow, appliances, shape, etc. I am proud of it. It is certainly the nicest home I have ever lived in, and the kitchen is its heart. Instead of singing its due praises, I had immediately felt the need to agree with her assessment and implicitly malign our new and much-loved home.
This is a pattern with me: intense esprit de l’escalier after I politely agree with someone else to keep feathers from ruffling rather than speaking my own mind. I know, as I relive that moment, that I could never have managed a slick reply like: “I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking me that.” I lack even the stomach to go the “feign ignorance to draw out her intentions” route by saying something like: “…What do you mean by that?” It’s, simply, too cruel. I hate to see people squirm. And as I type this, I find myself fashioning her defense: she probably didn’t mean anything by it. Maybe she was generally asking about how we might decorate it. Maybe she was just making conversation and it came out weird. I have certainly asked inappropriate or untoward questions in my time, whether out of nervousness or ignorance or for the sake of making chatter. The more I type, the more I realize that it is better, for so many reasons, to just let things go. For one thing, it is more in line with my recurring intention: to live with more grace. To give people the benefit of the doubt. To let things slick off my back. Mr. Magpie often asks me, when I am upset about something and debating whether to make my point known or just let it go: “Is this the hill you want to die on?” Usually, it is not. Usually, it is better to just unclip and move on. Of course, there is a stark difference between letting a casual question about my home go and, say, sublimating some deep emotional hurt. For the latter — I must work through it and must figure out a way to communicate how I feel. But for the more frivolous barbs, what to do?
After some reflection, I have devised a narrow strategy for dealing with similar instances in the future. I try to force myself to wait five full seconds before replying. Sometimes I even pinch my hand during that time as if a mnemonic for reminding myself to stay quiet. During those five seconds (which is, by the way, a long time in casual conversation), I aim to give myself the space to assess my knee jerk instinct to agree and contemplate a more truthful response.
The end goal is this: the quiet conviction to say, “You know, I love it as it is.” And just leave it at that.
+A good, inexpensive pair of shorts that come in tons of colors for my hiking habit this summer.
+A clever way to keep a closet smelling fresh. I think this will be my new go-to hostess gift.
+Diptyque now has some home cleaning products, including counter spray and dishwashing liquid. I am sure they smell heavenly! I do want to mention that for 1/4th of the price, you can get this excellent-smelling counter spray (in the Rose Driftwood scent), which smells like something from Jo Malone.
+Breeze white summer dress. I’d feel like a Greek goddess in this.
+Adore this chic woven dress. I have a category of “after 5 pm dresses” — the kind of thing I change into after work/writing/errands/daytime, before pajamas are appropriate. Nap dresses score highly, as do caftans. I shared my favorite house dresses last year here. I feel like this long woven style would be a welcome addition to the lineup.
+This swimsuit has been a best-seller this season, and now available in a fun nautical stripe.
+These ice cube molds are adorable — I use them a lot for activities/projects with the kids, including making “fizzy cubes” (look up the recipe from Mother Could!) and jello shapes.
+Obsessed with this oyster-shaped clutch (under $100!)
+Guys, I have had a whole saga about the bunks we bought for our upstairs room. We specifically bought this one from C&B because it said in February (and still says now) “in stock and ready to ship.” Perfect, because we wanted it in place before my niece and nephew visited for ten days in June, and everywhere else we looked had a delay until July or September. (My top pick was this one from Room and Board, which wouldn’t have shipped until September.) However, once purchased, we kept getting delay emails. Finally, it came to be mid-May and no bunk bed was in sight! I reached out and they confirmed that the bunk was on indefinite backorder because a specific panel had not come in yet. I know the furniture industry is struggling because of the pandemic and so there’s no use getting angry about it. It just is what it is. Anyhow, I decided to cancel that order. Coincidentally, then, a family member offered up a bunk bed they no longer needed, and I was ecstatic! Attractive, free, and easy to pick up locally. But then that fell through because they ended up needing to keep it. So then at the last minute we panic ordered this one from Target, which is I think one of the only bunk beds available for delivery within a few days in the entire world — we are now anxiously awaiting for it to be delivered. Will report back on quality once assembled!
+Our star-print bedding did arrive — it is SO cute!
+My favorite sneaky-easy but chic dessert: a scoop of sorbet with a float of champagne over the top, served in coupes like these.
+These keychains/bag charms are so adorable. Fun gift!
+This float vest for children is so fun. More beach/pool gear for littles here and here. I will note that this puddle jumper cover is always very popular when I feature it, but I also invariably receive notes about children who have drowned because of them. My children still use them, but you might want to consider / read up on that before buying to make an informed decision.
+This little gingham suit for a little lady is adorable.
+These shorts remind me of something by Pucci! Would be fun to dress these up for dinner out.
*Image abouve courtesy of Maria De La Orden featuring their vibrant pink matching Jacky Jacket and Milano Pants.
While looking for some new pieces to introduce to my closet this season, I found myself drawn to statement pants. I keep trying and hoping to become a shorts gal but tend to prefer skirts and pants — midi or longer. Below, some incredible pairs to consider:
SUSTAINABLE AND ETHICALLY MADE CREAM KNIT DRAWSTRING PANTS — PAIR WITH THIS MATCHING CROPPED TOP FOR A STUNNING VACATION LOOK
MONOCHROMATIC PASTEL BLUE STRIPED LINEN PANTS — THIS BREEZY PAIR IS A SUMMER WARDROBE STAPLE
ANLKE LENGTH BEIGE LINEN FLARE PANTS…IN SUCH A VERSATILE COLOR AND BREATHABLE FABRIC, THESE PANTS CAN BE DRESSED UP OR DOWN TO KEEP YOU LOOKING CHIC EVEN DURING A HEATWAVE
A miscellaneous roundup of things I can’t stop thinking about…
THIS RHODE DRESS — THINK I WILL BUY IT FOR MY BIRTHDAY THIS MONTH
ORDERED MYSELF THIS INEXPENSIVE SET OF WOVEN COASTERS — VERY S&L ON A BUDGET
ORDERED MYSELF THIS INEXPENSIVE MARYSIA-INSPIRED SUIT — GETS STRONG REVIEWS AND I LIKE THE COLOR OPTIONS…GOOD TO HAVE AN INEXPENSIVE BACKUP TO THROW INTO THE MIX!
ESTELLE MARTINI GLASSES – HAVE BEEN EYEING THESE FOR SO LONG. IN LOVE WITH THE GREEN!
FRP MINI BAG — FINALLY PURCHASED THIS AND AM TOTALLY SMITTEN…THE DETAILS ARE INCREDIBLE FOR THE PRICE! I FEEL LIKE THIS COULD BE A $1,000 BAG
CAPULETTE HAS A LIMITED EDITION CAPSULE WITH LOTS OF BANDANA PRINTS — LOVE THIS PAIR
MZ WALLACE TOTE — MY FAVORITE FOR SCHLEPPING CHILDREN’S GEAR AROUND, AND I LOVE THIS IN THE NEW PASTEL PATCHWORK PATTERN/COLOR
HHH ELLIE IN LILAC STRIPE — I COULD NOT MAKE UP MY MIND ON A DRESS FROM THE LATEST NAP DRESS LAUNCH BUT FINALLY HAVE DECIDED ON THIS ONE…A GOOD SUMMER STAPLE AND WILL LOOK CUTE WITH MY FRP BAG
BRINKER AND ELIZA BRACELET — SUCH A FUN ADDITION TO MY SUMMER JEWELRY COLLECTION
LUSTING AFTER THIS LIZZIE FORTUNATO NECKLACE…THE TURQUOISE WILL POP AGAINST A SUMMER TAN, AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF CONTRASTING THAT BLUE WITH ANY NUMBER OF PATTERNS/PRINTS!
I AM *OBSESSED* WITH MY ALICE WALK TEE — IT IS TRULY THE SOFTEST COTTON, AND I LOVE THE FIT…SORT OF TAILORED IN THE SHOULDERS/TORSO AND THEN FLARES AT HIPS FOR A FLATTERING FIT. LIKE WEARING LAKE PAJAMAS OUT AND ABOUT BUT EVEN SOFTER IF YOU CAN BELIEVE
NOT SEEN ABOVE BUT I AM EQUALLY IN LOVE WITH MY ALICE WALK SMOCKED TOP — THIS BRAND HAS TOTALLY WOWED ME; THE TOP HAS A SLIGHTLY LONGER HEM IN BACK SO IT COVERS THE REAR, IS A SUPER SOFT (NOT STARCHY) COTTON, AND THE SLEEVES ARE THE PERFECT LENGTH
