*Image above via Petit Peony, featuring their floral trunks, currently on sale for $28.
Mini started day camp this week and she will need to arrive at camp wearing a swimsuit every day for the next two weeks — plus we have swim lessons and then a trip to the beach just around the corner — and so I have been doing some swim shopping the last few days. I just snagged this adorable lobster print bikini for mini for $31 (40% off the original price!) and wanted to share a couple of the other suits I’ve tracked down, all under $31 and most under $20. I am currently eyeing this nantucket print rash guard suit — adorable!
I have been listening to Dave Grohl’s self-narrated memoir, which reads like a series of exclamations. He is passionate and jumpy and early into the text, he extols the virtues of living life head-on, turned-up, full-throttle. He explains that, as a young boy, his affections were spurned by a childhood sweetheart. His takeaway then, and whenever he greeted disappointment thereafter, was paradoxically positive: even while wet-behind-the-ears in the denouement of his first romantic entanglement, he observed that “heartbreak has proven to me that I can feel.”
I have felt for much of my life that I am too sentimental. I am quick to cry and easily moved by even the quotidian. I recently visited with a friend who had just lost a parent, and thought to myself, in the days prior, how poorly suited I was to the task. I anticipated crying more than consoling. I coached myself: this is about her, not you. I googled what to say. I did my best. We cried together, we hugged one another, and I tried my hardest to just sit there and listen. I hope I gave her something, if only a reminder that I care about her. But afterwards, I wondered whether this was a situation where I should have sent another girlfriend in my stead — one a bit less prone to crying? Or whether it was OK for me to just be there and be myself, tears streaming down my face and all. I don’t know: grief is a tender-then-taut thing, and while in many avenues of life, “being my truest self” is the right tack, I would never want to worsen or exaggerate an already intense time. Primum non nocere, etc. This was a moment not at all about me. I wanted to give her myself, not my tears.
Ellen Niven, the widow of a 9/11 victim, wrote this: “Grief culls you from the trusting joyous herd. A tenacious and liquid emotion, it finds any crevice in our hearts and souls and seeps in there, just waiting to burst through at the slightest provocation. A smell. A sound. Familiar handwriting on an old card. A duffel bag in the attic. And a crisp September morning shared by strangers, each with their own story to tell. Then suddenly, driving on the highway or checking out groceries, that grief bursts into any empty space. Strange that it doesn’t glow florescent like hot spots on a body scan.” At the end, she adds: “I am a private person, but share openly today as 9/11 is a collective loss; we all felt something that day, and are reminded in this fragile world that when we feel great sadness together, we are human.”
Grohl, and Niven, and a girlfriend who told me, while I was weepy over my son’s matriculation to school earlier this year: “You should let yourself feel all the feels. It just shows how much you love your role as a mom,” have made me think differently about my emotiveness. It is intense to move through life with an open heart, accepting what comes our way plainly, without rehearsal or recoil. We might react to that intensity differently, but there is nothing shameful or minatory about those authentic responses. When we cry, wring our hands, fret, feel the pang of regret or remorse, bow our heads, laugh at inopportune moments, stutter because we cannot say what we wish, find ourselves uncomfortably rocked by emotion, strain to discern the right thing to do, stumble over our words — we are doing so because we care. These are the Picasso-like portraits of a heart: misshapen here, exaggerated there, fractured in strange and contorted dimensions from this angle or that. There may be inelegance. But make no mistake: they are heart all the same.
Post-Scripts.
+Similar sentiments in this post: “I realized that instead of using this transition as an occasion to browbeat over moments I have missed or blindly marched through in my son’s baby years, and instead of mourning his babyhood, I could welcome this moment to just sit with the awareness that I love him so much I don’t want anything about him to change. And to see that there is nothing dark or rueful or terminal afoot: it is all borne by the same love that carried him into this world. He is mine, and he is not mine, and my emotions around these truths are just permutations of love.”
+On my daughter: “She does not negotiate: / Everything must happen on her own terms, in her own time, / A tortoise who cannot be provoked out of her shell, / Who prefers warming in the sun on her own anyhow. / But when she is ready, she turns sylphid, radiant and confident as she skips across the trampoline with untrammeled joy.” Full essay here.
+Cateye shades are trending this summer — love this loud hot pink pair, drool over Celine, or you can get this $59 pair in black, this under-$70 tortoise pair, or this under-$15 pair (!) if you don’t want to invest to heavily in the trend.
Below, a roundup of my favorite play-friendly pieces for the little ones heading off or into camp in the coming weeks. Mini starts a day camp today and I’ve been stocking up —
when we return to the cocoon of our car, and drive these familiar roads we have known
longer than each other,
twilight spinning past us on the Potomac.
Give me Clara Barton, or GW, or Rock Creek — no stoplights, all foliage, and the cut you make against the waning daylight as striking now as it was when I was just eighteen,
as though time has chiseled away at all but you and your handsome profile these past twenty years we have clung together, unsure of much but one another.
“Shoops against the world,” you’ve said, when we’ve found ourselves backed against a wall, lost, grieving, exhausted. It has felt that way, recently, during stretches of this pandemic, and during this busy season of life, and during interstate moves, and during sleepless nights looking after newborn babies. It has been a gracious minute since we’ve huddled behind the screen of those words, though. Since the move, since our children have officially moved out of the baby years, life has softened like butter left out on the countertop. And so I find myself shushing the morose midnight visitations that whisper: life is rarely this good as I peer into the dark as though something sinister awaits. Early morning phone calls send a shiver down my spine, and I can’t dispel the dark divination that on my next doctor’s visit, something wicked this way comes.
But not during those crepuscular drives along these parkways of our youth. We are then suspended in time, caught somewhere between the befores and the afters, and it as though no force can disrupt the confident, inviolable movements of our flotilla-of-two. During those post-prandial spirals along the Potomac, it is you and me only, untrafficked by menace or memory.
We arrive eventually at home, full and happy, and life again spills out around us.
But during those evening trips home, I sit full of brave illusions, or perhaps absent of them, and in any case, am able to drown out everything but the sure sound of your voice and steady grasp of your hand.
Our interior designer recently ordered these hanging pendants (seen above!) to replace the existing ones over our kitchen island, and has also proposed these counter stools (similar look for less here) to be upholstered on the inside in a practical, solid, treated green Kravet fabric and the outside in a green cane print. These relatively small changes to the kitchen are going to completely change the vibe and energy of the room, which we otherwise adore. It is a really well-designed kitchen for a busy family that spends about half of its waking time inside it.
Anyhow, these changes have me thinking about chic kitchen appliances, decor, and countertop pieces that might afford a similar face lift —
CAKE DOME — I HAVE THIS VARIATION, WHICH IS SO BRILLIANT: INVERT AND IT DOUBLES AS A PUNCH BOWL / FRUIT BOWL
MOCCAMASTER COFFEE MAKER — THIS IS WHAT WE USE EVERY DAY…SORT OF A BLEND OF POUROVER AND DRIP COFFEE; MR. MAGPIE WILL HAND-GRIND THE BEANS EVERY MORNING…BONUS: I LIKE THE LOOK! DON’T HATE HAVING IT OUT!
A bonus post this morning because Everlane and Boden are offering solid promotions this weekend only. Everlane is offering 20% off orders over $150 and 30% off orders over $250, while Boden is offering 25% off all womenswear with code WW25.
At Everlane, don’t miss this tunic (most popular item out of this roundup of 24 fabulous everyday dresses!), this knit skirt and matching tank (finish with strappy sandals!), and these cutaway tanks.
At Boden, I cannot (!) deal with these chic striped pants, this adorable gingham dress I’ve featured several times lately, these statement trousers so many of you already ordered, this festive dress, this dramatic shirtdress, this delicate cardigan, and this block-print inspired midi dress.
P.S. I may have to order this bikini top and bottom — they are like 80% off and the print and style are so fab! More great swim here, and I shared some great designer swim finds on sale here.
I am at this point a die-hard devotee of Supergoop’s Glowscreen. I love the way it INVISIBLY evens out and amps up the glow of my skin (while offering sun protection). Earlier this month, I also tested It Cosmetics’ illuminating, SPF-packed, serum-infused cream, and I thought it was pretty solid (blends nicely, matched my skin tone well), but a much more full-coverage product than I had anticipated. Glowscreen feels like nothing on the skin; you notice the It Cosmetics. Sometimes I blend the two if I want a bit more coverage, especially in the evenings. Anyhow, I just bought a fresh tube of Glowscreen! Cannot recommend enough.
P.S. More early summer beauty finds and my latest batch of honest beauty reviews.
You’re Soooo Popular: Early Summer Finds.
The most popular items on Magpie this week:
RHUBARB AND ROSE SCENTED LIQUID HAND SOAP…MY FAVORITE SCENTED SOAP EVER
SET OF SIX HANDWOVEN RATTAN COASTERS — I USE THESE ON OUR COVERED PORCH!
SQUARE NECKLINE SLEEVELESS MIDI DRESS WITH TASTEFUL PLEATING FOR WAISTLINE DEFINITION — A GORGEOUS SUMMER STAPLE YOU CAN EASILY DRESS UP OR DOWN
LONG SLEEVE BREATHABLE CAFTAN WITH HANDBLOCKED PINEAPPLE PRINT — THIS BEACHSIDE HEAD-TURNER HAPPENS TO BE ON SALE TOO
WHITE COTTON-POPLIN BUTTON-FRONT SHIRT WITH STATEMENT FEATHERED CUFFS — SOLD OUT THE FIRST TIME RELEASED!
HIGH-RISE MEDIUM WASH JEANS WITH DRAMATIC WIDE LEG SILHOUETTE FROM GOOD AMERICAN
Weekend Musings: When to Press and When to Not.
One parenting quandary that appears to have long legs is when to press and when to not, especially on matters of manners and mood. That is – I remind my children about fourteen thousand times a day to say “please,” “thank you,” “may I…?” and sometimes I find myself at a point of desperation wanting to just let things slide. (Will it really matter if I don’t get a please out of them at 6:49 p.m. as I fetch one final cup of milk before bedtime?). On the mood front: my daughter is strong-willed, and will sometimes hurl herself into a funk over minuscule perceived injustices: “he got a little more frosting on his” or “but I wanted the blue cup!” I am consistently at a loss during these moments, especially when they are accompanied by wailing and whining. I have tried calmly explaining the situation. I have tried ignoring the comment. I have tried distraction. I have tried a firm correction. Each attempt seems only to fuel her frustration. The only tactic that has appeared to work is crouching by her side and hugging her through it, once she is willing to accept the embrace. But then what am I saying? Unconditional love, yes, but am I also condoning the outbursts? Am I somehow taking an easy way out by not aiming to sit there and work through the perceived unfairness in front of her? (Should I be reminding her that the color of a cup does not matter rather than hugging her to my chest?). I don’t know the answers to any of this, and so I can only lean on what feels natural and efficacious at this time.
As you might gather, we are in the midst of some very long days of parenting right now — we are without childcare for the week and have been juggling the children, our careers, and house guests. I think we are all boiling up and over a bit more frequently than usual, and I find myself particularly uncertain about how and when to press versus not.
How do you draw the lines?
Shopping Break.
+I have been hearing good things about Anya Hindmarch’s memoir — want to try next! For thriller-lovers, this one’s on my radar.
+I saw this dress an immediately imagined a date night at Bemelman’s Bar. Chic chic! This more colorful variation is also super fun. And their sweaters!!! I want them all — especially this.
+My friend Grace just launched a fun paper/stationery collaboration with Joy Creative Shop. I am currently sitting with this malachite-trim notepad on my desk next to me, and how great are these simple cards? Love the playful squiggle along the bottom.
+Also love these colorful personalized notepads — great gift. (More of my favorite stationery here!)
+Chic divided hyacinth bins — great for bathroom shelving, pantry, etc.
+Alice Walk just launched the greatest striped basics for summer – love this half-zip and you know how I feel about their tees (the best!)
+Knotted rope totes are trending this summer — love this J. Crew option, and the Longchamp one, too.
+Speaking of Longchamp, way back in my college years, I bought this expandable duffel and it is just brilliant for travel. I inevitably end up needing to expand with my new purchases!
+Grace and James is running a warehouse sale, with their adorable children’s clothing up to 80% off! My top picks here.
+Love this lip glow balm for summer — it glides on and just adds the tiniest hint of color.
+Up to 35% off Serena + Lily’s outdoor and beach finds — tempted by these beach chairs!
+Mille just added a bunch of great pieces to their sale collection. I am tempted by this versatile white blouse and this elegant striped dress (save for fall!)
I love the unfussy elegance of Lauren Santo Domingo above — total ten in my book. I’m inspired to follow suit…I’m sharing all my favorite pieces to re-create the look below.
P.S. More similar unfussy-chic finds here, here, and here.
Midway through my brother’s trip, I was chatting with our neighbor, who asked: “How’s your brother’s visit going?” I responded in the vague and automatic way one does with something like: “Oh, great, great; it’s so nice to spend time with family.” He replied: “It seems that way. It’s been beautiful, you know — the only thing we hear coming from your house is laughter.”
I was moved by this outsider’s assessment of our time together. There have been so many late nights sitting on the back patio, picking crabs or idling over glasses of wine, and they have always been carried by laughter. My brother and his wife are easy laughs, big and full ones, and I have long felt that trait to be heavily underrated. A quick laugh is encouraging, generous, open to joy. And — is this a condition of all siblings? — whenever I make my brother laugh, I feel as though I have achieved something. I find myself beaming.
I read somewhere that qigong — an ancient Chinese medicine practice that uses breathing, postures, and movement to improve energy of the mind, body, and spirit — espouses laughter as a component of emotional and physical well-being. Students are encouraged to have a proper belly laugh once a day. I doubt very much I achieve a daily guffaw during most of the year, but for the past ten days, I’ve easily surpassed the target. Ever since my neighbor commented on it, I’ve been reflecting on how incredible it feels — not only emotionally, but physically — to throw my head back in laughter. It is a kind of reckless happiness, a release. There is an interesting quote by Jean Houston (a psychologist who has some far-flung theories, but I loved the following comment) about laughter: “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” It is true: laughter unlocks something. It sends out. My posture changes afterward, my entire energy shifts. And it ties me to my companions, lassoing an invisible ring around us.
I don’t know how to practice daily laughter with any kind of regularity except to commit to spending time with people I love who spark joy. The laughter follows.
When was the last time you laughed out loud? Do you consciously seek out laughter in your day?
+On happiness: “Now that I think about it, is it possible to experience a full day of happiness? A full afternoon? Or does happiness always exist like this: in startling sips?”
+I have a pair of simple two-strap sandals almost identical to these from J. Crew from a few years ago that I have been wearing a ton this summer, and they’ve finally bit the dust. They are just so easy to slip into when wearing a long dress, and I like the minimalist profile. I think I will replace with these, though I am tempted by their colorful options!
+This chic footed fruit bowl is currently on sale.
+This adorable shell print dress is currently $50 off!
+This bold striped cotton poplin blouse turned my head. Would look fab tucked into high waisted white shorts or jeans — or even a white pencil skirt!
+A fun post-dinner game to play with fellow babies of the 80s and 90s. (Fun gift to bring while visiting friends?)
+A great, on-trend dress available in three great colors, 40% off!
+Love this $105 swimsuit — also comes in pretty pink and blue colors!
+Adorable dress shoes for little boys. Come in a range of great colors. Perfect for weddings!
+Two new, affordable swim finds for little ladies: this H&M (texture reminds me of Marysia!) and this Target! Ordered the latter for mini.
+Adore this new Ulla dress. I love a white dress any time but would be chic for a bride, too.
+Keep coming back to these faux jade / emerald studs — they look like they could be precious jewelry, but cost under $100!
+Some great Zimmermann pieces on sale at Saks, including this floral strapless and this mini, and also I don’t know why, but these classic Staub baking dishes are also on sale. A great gift for newlyweds, a college grad, or just yourself if you’ve never invested in something like this! I like that they work oven-to-table — pretty enough to sit out on a sideboard!
+Only a few size 0s left, but this black tie gown is spectacular and on sale for $115?!
+And these adorable jelly sandals for children are 50% off!
By: Jen Shoop
A few recent favorites from J. Crew and Madewell — the latter of which is currently offering 30% off site-wide (!). From J. Crew —
A few weeks ago, I was introduced to Natalie Wadsworth, the lovely founder of Frances Hart, a clothing line that originally focused on maternity wear but has now branched out to include pieces for all phases of motherhood. She invited me to visit her in New York and took a few photos of me wearing one of her dresses in Madison Square Park, not far from where my daughter attended pre-school and therefore full of memories of living in New York. I love the slightly exaggerated sleeves and square neck line, which elevate the look a bit, but the dress is all about comfort (and function — her pieces are breast-feeding-friendly, machine-washable, and the perfect length such that you are not tripping over a maxi-length hem but have enough length to remain demure while chasing a toddler at a playground). I must wax poetic about Natalie herself, a sharp entrepreneur who makes running a business look easy, and an absolute joy to be around. While her talented photographer (who used to work for The Rolling Stone!) took photos of me, Natalie read me salty jokes from her phone and talked about the care with which she approached the concepting, pricing, and design of her pieces. These are items you can invest in and wear before, during, and after pregnancy, and are easy to care for (i.e., not handwash or dry-clean-only). I am a huge fan of hers and the dresses she makes, and was so honored she chose to interview me on her blog — you can read some of my musings on writing and motherhood here.
Below, I am sharing 23 additional great dresses that will work before, during, and after pregnancy…
1 // Staud’s Vincent Dress. This comes in many colors and seasonal patterns, and occasionally, you can find them on sale (as here and here). Button-front so works while nursing, with a nice loose fit.
2 // Doen Joan Dress. Doen actually has an entire section of clothes that are pregnancy/nursing-friendly, but I especially love the elegant and versatile Joan and the sweet Piazza style.
3 // Buru Tie Top Midi Dress. So fun and unexpected with the pattern mixing! It reminds me of a Casey Marks dress (next on the list!) but less expensive. Buru makes a point of designing dresses that are nursing-friendly, and this one is not only chic but has pockets and is machine washable (!) I also love this striped everyday dress, which would work for at least the first and part of the second trimester, and then be great for breast-feeding and beyond.
4 // Casey Marks Jaime Dress. Similar to above — so fun and dramatic, easy to wear, and would work for any stage of pregnancy / breast-feeding / not!
6 // Everyday Ritual Gauze Button-Front Caftan. This looks insanely comfortable, practical, washable, etc. Wear as a day dress, a cover-up, a nightgown! Comes in tons of colors. I also like this similar Xirena style — on sale! Gauze is trending this year for some reason.
8 // Julia Amory Shirtdresses. The softest brushed cotton — I absolutely live in these. (I now own three!). My only gripe is that the buttons do not always stay closed! I’ve talked with several friends about this and they agree — it’s annoying. But I love these pieces just as much layered over a swimsuit (<<this one works during pregnancy) at the beach/pool as I do dressed up with statement earrings.
9 // Dondolo Pheobe Dress. This to me is all-season dressing — layer beneath a cardigan and pair with flats in the fall, or style with leather slides in the summer.
10 // Thierry Colson Venetia Dress. I have wanted to invest in one of these for ages. Love the stand collar and the fabulous tailored sleeves.
11 // Nom Harper Dress. Love the flutter sleeves! I also think the pattern would work into fall — just layer beneath a striped La Ligne sweater for a little pattern mixing.
12 // Everlane Caftan Dress. I love this in the sage color, and I *think* the button plaquet goes down far enough to accommodate breast-feeding. It was a tad difficult but I was also able to make the famous “Amazon Nightgown Dress” work while nursing, too.
14 // The Great Lagoon Dress. Would be sweet any time, but would be really cute as a coming-home dress or newborn photo dress if you’re having a girl.
15 // HHH’s Ellie Nap Dress. I know we’ve talked ad nauseum about this style but they really are great for pregnancy, nursing, and no bump. Love the seasonal patterns/prints.
17 // Christy Dawn Emilia Dress. This is absolutely gorgeous. The self-tie waist means it can be worn loose and free or cinched in above a bump / at waist, and the buttons accommodate nursing.
18 // Boden Jane Dress. Perfect if you are a boy mom for a coming-home-from-hospital moment (wear sans belt, or loop under bust instead of at waist), newborn photos, or a baby shower! I think this would work well into second trimester. I love everything about it. Currently in my cart!
19 // Lake Patio Dress. So easy to wear (also comes in a midi length) and the smocked neck means it can be pulled down for nursing.
20 // Daphne Wilde Giovanna Dress. Wear belted or not, dressed up or down — this dress is a workhorse. One of my girlfriends loved her first one so much, she bought three more!
21 // Maxwell and Geraldine Sarah Dress. I love my Kate dress from this brand but think that the longer smocked bodice on that style would be more difficult with a bump. The Sarah is probably just right, and I love the sleeves and versatile white seersucker.
22 // Brock x Minnow Disco Dress. Probably better before the second trimester, but the loose fit would be a good disguise for early pregnancy and this is certainly breastfeeding friendly. I love the tailoring and pattern — so chic.
23 // Hunter Bell Lyle Dress — wow! The detail! Wear sans belt while pregnant! I also think their Clayton dress would be a great wardrobe staple for any season of motherhood.
I have to give honorable mention to Parterre’s Day Gown — I own and love this dress, and would have happily worn while pregnant. A very soft and easy cotton, a self-tie waist — but not breast-feeding-friendly! It’s possible the brand’s Surrey dress could work for nursing, though. I like the sophisticated and unusual color/pattern of that dress — would be great for fall paired with some velvet furlanes.
P.S. Adventures (word used euphemistically) in breastfeeding, parts one and two. I am still shocked by how difficult and emotional that journey was for me — I still feel ten ways about it and think back on that experience often.
THIS FOREST GREEN TUNIC TOP — SUCH A SOPHISTICATED COLOR — OR THIS PATTERNED ONE! TB IS THE QUEEN OF THE TUNIC TOP AND THESE ARE FABULOUS INVESTMENT PIECES THAT WILL STAND THE TEST OF TIME AND WORK AT ANY AGE
THIS VERY POPULAR SWIMSUIT (SO MANY MAGPIES RAVE ABOUT THIS SPECIFIC CUT OF SUIT) — ONLY $129, AND CURRENTLY IN MY CART…SO TEMPTED
THE OTHER THING I’M TEMPTED BY — THESE FUNKY SHEARLING CLOGS FOR FALL…ONLY $90?! I KNOW MY FUTURE SELF WILL THANK ME…FUN TO SLIP INTO THESE AT THE FIRST SIGNS OF FALL
P.S. What do you do when you are feeling depleted?
P.P.S. Strategies for achieving high end looks for less.
