*Micro is wearing a gingham shortall from Bellabliss above — currently on sale for $21!
On Saturday, we left the house at 9 A.M. and returned around 5:30 P.M., having been to a musical performance, lunch, and then to my in-laws for the rest of the day. I had to pat myself on the back — I somehow had everything we had needed in my tote bag. Today, thought I’d share a bunch of recent finds mixed in with longtime lifesavers for adventures outside the house with littles. Let me give a specific shoutout to Gathre mats, which fold up into tiny squares but are super durable – great for changing mats, a spot to perch on grass/ground, a work space while painting, etc. We have a few different sizes and they’ve been in use since day one of motherhood. I also absolutely love this OXO travel wipes pouch — you refill with bulk wipes at home, and the case is super easy to find, durable (does not rip or anything), and the little ring at the top can hook right onto a stroller, bag, etc. Last but certainly not least, my BabyZen Yoyo was one of the best investments I’ve ever made. I was skeptical about buying such a pricey travel stroller given that we already had a pricey Bugaboo full feature stroller, but we have used this so much, especially in NYC and while traveling. Whatever stroller you have, though, these repositionable velcro bag hooks are NON-NEGOTIABLE. So great for carrying grocery bags, diaper bags, wet swimsuits, keys, etc!
Even more favorite out-of-the-house-with-littles buys below…
YELLOW QUILTED NYLON TOTE WITH ZIPPER CLOSURE — REPORTEDLY EASY TO WASH AND HAS AN EXTRA ZIP POCKET INSIDE…AN MZ WALLACE LOOKALIKE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SPLURGE!
DIAPER BAG DISPOSAL BAGS AND DISPENSER FROM ARM AND HAMMER — A TOTAL MUST HAVE, STILL, FOR ME…WE ALSO HAVE MEDICAL GRADE EMESIS BAGS IN OUR CAR BECAUSE MINI IS PRONE TO CARSICKNESS
LIGHT PINK KEYCHAIN-FRIENDLY LEATHER AIRTAG CASE — A GOOD IDEA FOR ITEMS THAT TEND TO GO MISSING
MULTI-COMPARTMENT REUSABLE SNACK DISPENSER — DISHWASHER SAFE AND LEAKPROOF!…MY KIDS WOULD LOVE THIS…I STILL LOVE THESE TINY SNACK TUPPERWARES, WHICH CLIP ON TO ONE ANOTHER FOR EASY ORGANIZATION IN A BAG
QUICK-DRYING BEACH TOWEL IN A CUTE PEACH PRINTED STRIPE — FOLDS REALLY COMPACT; GREAT TO KEEP IN STROLLER OR BAG FOR IMPROMPTU SPLASH PAD/SPRINKLER RUN INS
THREE-SPEED PORTABLE TURQUOISE FAN WITH FLEXIBLE TRIPOD LEGS…GREAT TO WRAP AROUND STROLLERS
DARK GREY MESH MINI BABY CARRIER FROM BABYBJORN — PROBABLY TOWARDS THE TOP OF MY TOP TEN BABY PRODUCT MUST-HAVE LIST
TODDLER PROOF IPAD CASE — WE HAVE SOMETHING SIMILAR AND I FIND HAVING A CASE THAT CAN STAND UP ON ITS OWN VERY HANDY…WILL BE SHARING MORE CAR TRAVEL FINDS SOON BUT WE ARE GOING TO TEST THIS HEADREST IPAD HOLDER
FOREST GREEN GINGHAM FANNY PACK — YOU KNOW I SWEAR BY FANNY PACKS FOR HANDS-FREE MOM LIFE..I LIVE IN THIS STATE BAGS ONE
TRAVEL-FRIENDLY TOILET SEAT COVER — MY SON NEVER NEEDED THIS BUT MY DAUGHTER ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT USE THE FACILITIES OUTSIDE THE HOUSE WITHOUT THIS
EDUCATIONAL DOODLE RECOGNITION A-Z ALPHABET WATER-ERASE CARDS…A MORE EDUCATIONAL TWIST ON THE WATERWOW
WELLY REMEDIES TRAVEL KIDS’ MEDICINE KIT — ALSO I’M NEVER WITHOUT WELLY’S BANDAIDS WHICH ARE NOT ONLY ADORABLE BUT ACTUALLY VERY HIGH-FUNCTIONAL…THEY STICK ON EVEN IN WATER!
SUPER SOFT COTTON BLACK AND WHITE STRIPED LONG SLEEVE PAJAMA SET — MUST ALWAYS HAVE A CHANGE OF CLOTHES ON HAND AND THESE ARE GREAT, EASY LITTLE SETS
I recently discovered the Instagram account of a free spirited actress who goes by @sam.moooves. She has a radiant, contagiously happy energy that has felt reassuring these past few weeks in particular — it is a gift to be around people who consciously reach for joy. During a recent AMA, a follower shared that she was contemplating moving to a new city but terrified at the prospect because she did not know anybody. Sam replied by saying that when she was younger, she had the opportunity to move to New York City but was similarly trammeled by fear of the unknown and her lack of an East Coast network of friends. Her father sat her down and drew a circle on a piece of paper: “This is you, in your circle of comfort.” He went on to explain that the goal of life is to build as many other circles as you possibly can; when you have the chance, start a new circle. I was taken by the imagery. My father has offered permutations on this advice throughout my life: “Take the job,” “Move to the new city,” “Don’t look back,” “That’s a hell of an opportunity,” he’ll say. On the eve of accepting every single new job I’ve ever had, I’ve gone to him riddled with doubt, and he’s said: “This is going to be great for you. No question.” One of the things I remember most about the blurry chaos of moving from NYC to Bethesda was asking him, “Do you think I’ll feel isolated in Bethesda? Like, after living in the city for so long?” Without a beat: “Nope. You’re going to love it.” The response felt automatic — to the point that I wondered whether he would have said the same thing if I was asking the inverse: “Do you think I’ll feel overwhelmed in Manhattan? Like, after living in the suburbs for so long?” I have a hunch he would have said: “Nope. You’re going to love it.”
If I have learned anything about myself as an adult, it is that I am more adaptable than I think. Negative fifty five degrees outside during the Polar Vortex in Chicago? A protracted quarantine in a small Manhattan apartment with a dog and two young children? A mouse-infested “garden level” apartment in Lyon? You can thrive anywhere with the right attitude. Through it all, I have leaned on my father’s “get up and go” mentality more than he will ever know to get me through the bumpy patches, but especially while setting out at the daunting crossroads of new beginnings.
So, I am sitting here today, and I am reminding myself to continue to take chances, start new circles, chase down the next thing. I am settled here, and it feels good, but I am still hungry.
Perhaps you are sitting on the edge of a new beginning today. Perhaps you find yourself riddled with doubt. Channel my Dad as you surf through the waves of indecision, knocking out each tremulous “but what if…?” with:
+These best-selling pants were restocked recently. Word out is that you must buy a full size down in this style. (Run large.)
+Am I the last person on earth to know that one of the key makeup artist secrets to achieving a really fresh face/open eyes are Lumify eye drops?!
+Is this not the chicest and sleekest black jumpsuit ever?
+I am newly obsessed with the brand Antik Batik, which I know has been around forever, but I found a trove of their pieces on sale at Smallable and j’ai besoin. I need this dress in particular, and maybe these shorts, too?! Also found this fab top of theirs on sale at The Outnet.
+People LOVE this $6 makeup brush. I have been using Artis’ oval brushes almost exclusively but just dropped this into my basket.
+This rattan desk would be so attractive in a guest room.
+Alice Walk’s new linen collection has some great elevated basics, like this linen shirtdress. Wear over a swimsuit or with Supergas to the farmer’s market.
+A must-order for your next trip with overstuffed, checked bags.
I picked up a few of the swimsuits I found on sale in this post and am particularly excited about this Ephemera (plan to layer under my Julia Amory husband shirt dress, which I snagged in a blue pattern, as a cover up) and this Agua Bendita, which I would love to pair with the matching pareo…waiting to find it in this pattern on sale. Right now I’m looking for a good pool slide/sandal — I have been wearing the Tkees but they aren’t exactly right for wet feet. (Better for beach days.) I used to have a pair of neon waterproof Birks and while I liked them in concept (and on other people!), I just never really got into the style and even the smallest size was a tiny bit big on my foot. (BTW, Target has an excellent $10 variation.) I noticed Stuart Weitzman has some jelly slides that could be good, and then of course there is Gucci. I also have a pair of those Valentino jelly bow sandals from like six or seven years ago (maybe longer?) that I might need to pull out of retirement…other recs welcome!
You’re Soooo Popular: Summer Finds.
The most popular items on Magpie this week:
ABSOLUTELY STUNNING HIGH NECK FLOWING IVORY MAXI DRESS
HELLY HANSON PERFORMANCE SKI SHELL JACKET…SUCH A LONG LASTING PIECE IT IS WORTH GETTING OFF SEASON FOR HALF THE PRICE!
HANDMADE BELL SHAPED WOVEN DUAL COMPARTMENT HAMPER WITH SCALLOPED EDGES
NAVY WATERPROOF BOAT SHOES WITH ADORABLE RED ACCENT LACES FOR THE LITTLES
LIGHTWEIGHT FLORAL MINI DRESS WITH RUFFLED TRIM AND TIE DETAIL AT SHOULDER — AN EFFORTLESSLY CHIC AND FLOWY SUMMER WARDROBE ESSENTIAL
ONE SHOULDER ONE-PIECE SWIMSUIT WITH TASTEFUL BACK CUT OUT IN A BOLD NAVY FLORAL
“I was asked last week, ‘who is your best friend?’ I don’t know. I don’t use language like that anymore. It doesn’t fit. I have friends that hold the keys to different doors of my personality. Some open my heart. Some my laughter. Some my mischief. Some my sin. Some my civic urgency. Some my history. Some my rawest confusion and vulnerability. Some friends, who may not be ‘the closest’ to me, have the most important key for me in a moment of my life. Some, who may be as close as my own skin, may not have what I need today. It’s ok if our spouses or partners don’t have every key. How could they? It isn’t a failure if they don’t open every single door of who you are. The million-room-mansion of identity cannot overlap perfectly with anyone.
But I will say, my closest friends have a key ring on their hip with lots of keys, jingling.”
I absolutely loved this reconceptualization of friendship. It dovetails with and extends some of the nascent musings on “narratives of friendship” I shared here. Why expend the energy to categorize people as “best friends” in the first place? It’s a nailing down of things that don’t need to be nailed down. Relationships are fluid, and varied, and why force them into lanes? I am thinking specifically of two separate observations that tug on corners of this blanket.
In the first: earlier in my life, if I sensed a mounting distance between myself and a friend, I would anticipate permanent closure. “Well, that friendship’s over,” I would brood, mourning the fun we had. Now I know that friendships can retract and resume, and often without intention or ill-will. Sometimes life gets in the way: geography, work schedules, family, responsibilities, ailing parents, demanding hobbies and extracurriculars, newborn babies. Sometimes people — their priorities, interests — change. It is OK to let friendships wane for a minute. Perhaps that is a truth no one wants to say, myself included, as we all want to be the best friend who shows up, who answers the phone at 3 a.m., who moves mountains to demonstrate her loyalty. But people, relationships, can and will evolve over time, and I think only of that old quote: “The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak that breaks in a storm.”
The second observation: it has surprised me, in my adult life, how much time and experience and — well, life — I share with people I wouldn’t necessarily refer to as “friends.” I am thinking specifically of neighbors, nail technicians, doormen (in NYC), nannies. Many of these relationships are just as intimate as close friendships, and just as valuable. As an example, during the long dearth of pandemic living in NYC, we still saw our doormen every morning on the way into and out of the building — a deeply-needed moment of interpersonal exchange that made life feel less strange and deprived than it was. Our doormen knew more about us than anyone else on the earth — what we were eating, where we were going, the habits and patterns of our waking hours, who are close friends were, when we were traveling. Our doorman Richie was one of the first people to meet my newborn son. I guess what I am saying is that I have long felt there is not an appropriate word for these important figures in our lives. It is as though we vault the “friendship” moniker, with its familiar contours of “hanging out,” “going through things together,” “eating meals,” “talking on the phone,” “going on trips together,” above all other permutations of relationship, when in fact, I have found meaningful companionship, support, humor, affection from the people in my immediate, everyday life, with whom I enjoy a much higher density of interaction than my friends. It is startling to think that my neighbors know more about my everyday life than my best girlfriends. But there it is. This is not to say friendships aren’t vital to a happy and full life, but to say that perhaps the work of differentiating between who is a friend and who is not, and what tier of friendship a particular person is on, is pointless. Relationships come and go, for different reasons and for different seasons. The important thing is that I remain open-hearted.
Shopping Break.
+Kule is running a surprise sale! You may need to sign up for emails to access, but as you know if you are a longtime reader, Kule is my favorite brand for striped tees, and several great colors are on sale. I take an XS and the fit is lean and actually not as “long” as the name suggests. I’m petite and it hits at mid-hip. Don’t miss their popular tank dresses and adorable totes!
+I have seen SO many chic women at the pool wearing Poupette St. Barth cover-ups — I found some on sale here, here, and here!
+Quick upgrade to the front of your home: these house numbers and a Frontgate doormat (<<we have one of these). Chic! (PSA: Frontgate does often put seasonal door mats in its clearance section!)
+I know many of you have been buying ahead with winter coats on sale, and I had to mention I found some Patagonia fleeces for littles and babies up to 50% off, and Helly Hensen ski parkas 50% off, and Reima winter parkas on sale, too (<<I bought mini a Reima for this upcoming winter already). Reima also carries very high-quality rain gear for warmer seasons and it’s all currently 25% off with code SUMMER25. Good rain gear was essential to NY life, as we’d still walk to school every day, rain or shine. (Rain pants are fantastic! I actually have gotten a surprising amount of use out of mine, which are from Marmot.)
+A lot of great end-of-sale finds at Matches (this maxi!) and Net-A-Porter (this caftan! this Hunza G!). NAP is offering an extra 15% off sale items with code EXTRA15!
+This $128 caftan reminds me of the much more expensive ones from Pippa Holt.
+I found a little trove of Alemais nautical-themed dresses on sale: love this and this!
+I’ve been doing a ton of research on attractive mens fitness clothes for Mr. Magpie. We got most of his tennis gear from Nike and Lacoste, but for golf, I’m drawn to the shorts from Rhone (more colors here) and Redvanly — both of which feel a bit more modern than Peter Millar — and for performance polos, the ones from Rhoback (a sportswear line built by UVA Darden grads!) and Holderness and Bourne.
+Love these lacquered trays — a good gift, don’t you think?
By: Jen Shoop
Some really bold fashion finds for under $133 — most under $100. The snap above reminded me of this fabulous Banana Republic sunhat I came across and spurred this entire collection —
A: I love the vibe on the chic pea above — she’s wearing an oversized cotton-linen button-down from Posse. Gap has a great oversized white button-down that people rave about, too, and Everlane has a slightly slimmer fitting linen one for $80. If you’re into this summer’s gauze obsession, Xirena’s is the one to snag (they also have a short-sleeved variation and it’s on sale) — get the look for less with Gap. Doen’s Jane blouse is practically iconic at this point. I’m also convinced that this Frank and Eileen is the type of piece I’d buy and then wonder how I’d ever lived without it. Perfect for throwing on with jeans, over a tank as a layering piece, even with fitness wear.
Q: $100 and under gift ideas for a friend’s bridal shower.
A: Thinking back, some of the best engagement and wedding gifts I received were things like champagne buckets, cake domes, vases, pitchers, steak knives, serving platters, etc. These are things I would never have bought myself at the time but they really set us up for a nice home together, and helped with entertaining friends. Here are a few pieces I love along these lines:
Finally, a shoutout to R Vivimos dresses — inexpensive, and not 100% cotton, but they’ve gotten me through a lot of epically hot days and I don’t fuss if I sweat through them — ha! I own and particularly love this polka dot and this blue floral. Both really lightweight and soft.
Q: Cute black sundress for a larger bust — not a fan of smocking.
Q: Easy summer dresses for lounging, walks, porch coffee.
A: Honestly, my favorite everyday dresses this summer are Julia Amory’s. I wear mine constantly. They are ultra-soft, have pockets, and make me feel pulled together when I feel anything but. They aren’t great for walks because of the length, though. For walks, the ones I reach for are SZ Blockprints caftans, inexpensive styles from R Vivimos, Hill House nap dresses, and Maxwell & Geraldine’s Kate dress. I wear these about 90% of the time when I’m just looking for something to throw on while hanging at home or walking the dog!
A: Gorgeous! I would go with something timeless like this Pottery Barn. I think the white would look fabulous with the duvet. If you prefer upholstered, I would check out the options at The Inside — affordable and lots of colors/fabrics available. You could do something dramatic like pair with a blue and white stripe or go with a solid.
Not seen above, but these crates are great for shoes and bulky toys; this long vanity tray; and this gingham shower curtain (perfect for a little boy’s bathroom).
Also – all pool floats are 20% off, and Casper’s essential pillow is on sale through tonight.
Some folks already have early access to Nordstrom’s anniversary sale, and others will gain access in the coming weeks, but wanted to share a few great finds…
You can find these in more detail, and other sale finds, organized below by category…
Nordstrom Sale Finds: Beauty.
YOU ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THESE SLIP SCRUNCHIES…THE ABSOLUTE BEST AND HAVE BEEN HUNTING FOR THEM ON SALE FOR LIKE A YEAR BECAUSE THEY ARE SO PRICEY!
RHONE FITNESS TOPS — PERFECT FOR HIS SPINNING REGIMEN…I WISH THEIR COMMUTER SHORTS WERE ALSO ON SALE BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO BUY A PAIR FOR MR. MAGPIE’S GOLF WARDROBE
MR MAGPIE HAS THIS EXACT DOPP KIT — COMES IN TONS OF GREAT COLORS AND HIGHLY DURABLE
HANDSOME SLIM-FIT JEANS FROM A GREAT DENIM DESIGNER
P.S. In case you haven’t joined the fun: a new batch of icebreakers.
We’d sat on the back porch for hours, a lazy volley of conversation over plates of hot chicken and cold pickles, returning again and again to the matter of
Why we’d left New York, what we saw in ourselves, where we’d wander together,
(Anywhere)
When:
“Come outside and see, Jennie –“
He called me out to the cul de sac in front of our home in bare feet, darkness ensconcing us like a warm blanket, the pavement still-hot from the noontime sun,
And lights twinkled in the trees,
Hundreds of tiny bulbs against the suburban silence,
+This dress is one of my favorites to throw on during a peak-DC-heat-and-humidity day. Inexpensive so I’m not fretting over the sweat, lightweight, sleeveless. The yellow polka dot pattern is so unexpected, too. I like to pair it with a bold statement crossbody or belt bag in a contrasting color.
+I love the dog leashes from Mark and Graham — always such fun patterns and you can get them personalized.
+Had to order these wear-with-everything kitten heels for summer.
+A perfect side table. One of the occasional chairs our interior designer is having upholstered for our family room has a spindle design and je suis obsessed with that detail.
+This navy shirtdress has such fabulous details — the subtle cut out detail reminds me in a way of something Lug Von Siga would do.
+A great long-length linen striped tee, on super sale.
+These $50 statement earrings remind me of ones from Mercedes Salazar.
+This small $20 Coleman cooler comes in the best shade of muted blue!
+Another fab crochet dress option — but don’t forget this similar $15 steal!
+Can’t get this hat out of my head. Love the shape, style, etc.
+I am IN LOVE with the patterns on these shirtdresses from new-to-me label Elisamama.
+Adorable and inexpensive (under $10) striped romper for a baby.
+Rice x Rice makes the cutest children’s melamine plates and cups.
By: Jen Shoop
Now that we have swim and cover-ups on lock, some of the things I’ve been toting around on pool days, of which there have been many this summer —
+PARAVEL TOTE — I usually carry this (in a large size) because it’s big enough to stow the children’s puddle jumpers on top of all the other gear. LL Bean’s XL Boat Tote would be another great option (similar in size), and this Mark and Graham style — while a bit smaller than Paravel and LL Bean — is waterproof! I would order it in white with the “Trade Gothic” personalization. If you’re traveling sans floaties, I’ve seen a lot of moms carrying either Bogg Bags (look for less here) or sporty neoprene totes like the ones from Annabel Ingall (look for less here).
+PUDDLE JUMPERS AND MONOGRAMMED COVERS — I know from sharing these in past posts that some moms consider these controversial; you might want to read up on them before choosing. We love these though — always with plentiful supervision.
+GOGGLES — I bought mini the trendy Bling20 ones and honestly am not sure about the quality. We have trouble with the side adjusters stretching out. I think micro’s $13 shark pair are better quality, especially since the nose band is adjustable and he’s still so tiny. I might go back for a pair for mini by the same brand.
+COVER-UPS — The children love these soft monogrammed ones from Weezie. The hood is great, and I appreciate the patterns and zippered front. Adorable.
+WET BRUSH – These are seriously the best hairbrushes for littles, and under $10. I now have a designated one for our pool bag (in addition to several at home). They are great at detangling but have ultra fine bristles mixed in, which help grab and smooth hair without snarling. I don’t know how it works really but they are my favorite hair tools for my daughter, who has a lot of hair.
+SWIMMER’S DEFENSE SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER — I just ordered this set for my children, who are now spending a lot of time in chlorinated water, and I’m already noticing their hair is a bit dry. I love this brand, by the way — it’s spendy but I find the products really work and smell incredible. I absolutely swear by their detangling spray — it really works on mini’s hair. I also carry the detangler to the pool!
+SPF! My favorite last summer was Babo’s mineral sunscreen spray but I’ve learned the hard way that those sprays are really difficult to get out of stone, so we currently have random imprints of sunscreen on the flagstone paths out front and back of our home. Yikes! I’ve read there’s a bleach formula you can use to get it out so we’ll need to tackle that. Instead, I’m switching back to creams. I’m currently trying Pipette’s formula — it’s OK but a bit watery. At the same time, the price is winning – it’s about half of what some of the other mineral formulas cost. I also ordered Babo’s cream formula to test next. I used to really like the stick SPFs for the children’s faces but now that I’m using cream elsewhere, it feels easier to apply with my fingers than to get out a separate stick while they’re chomping at the bit to get into the pool. I also apply this scalp SPF to their heads! I am personally using this sunscreen for myself (obsessed is an understatement — wrote more about it here) and I keep all the sunscreens in a designated pouch so they are easy to find and reapply and do not spill/squirt out over everything. (PS – This Etsy shop has lots of inexpensive options to get the Stoney Clover pouch look for less.)
+BALLCAPS – I make my son wear a Harding Lane ballcap even while swimming in the pool and on top of scalp SPF because he is so fair. Love the simple, preppy designs and the colors offered. I also just added these initial caps to my cart as a back up.
+POOL TOYS – Mini loves these octopi and diving toys like these — she has become quite the swimmer and will entertain herself for hours — actual hours — diving for these! I think I will surprise her with these diving gems while on our vacation in a few weeks. These swim-through rings also look fun! Micro is happy with plastic cups (he likes to make me “hot cocoa” and “coffee”) and this submarine. These mesh toy bags are great for housing the smaller pool toys.
+PACKING CUBES — To stow clean clothes in an orderly fashion. I always need to have extra underwear and shorts for micro, and mini sometimes wants to switch into a new dress post-swim, so I am always laden with post-swim options. I like to keep their clothes separate from mine — easier when scrambling after the pool.
+WET/DRY BAG — For wet suits and goggles! There are so many options out there but I still find the ones from PBK to be superior in quality. No wetness seeps through, and it’s a nice, roomy size. I’ve used the same two (each one monogrammed with each child’s initials) since they were born — they’re always in my tote bag! These less expensive and less durable ones are cute, though, and would get you through the season.
+APPLIQUE MONOGRAM BAG — I keep this little pouch with just my essentials in it so they’re separate and easy to find from the littles. It holds my card case, keys, makeup removing pads (a must to prevent mascara-smudged eyes after a swim!), lip balm, a travel size mascara (you know I’m never ever without mascara), and facial sunscreen.
+SUNGLASSES — I am still a devotee of these Le Specs in the caramel color. I can’t quit them! I’ve tried so many pairs but keep coming back to these.
ICYMI, I shared some great children’s swimsuits for under $31 here, and I also wanted to mention that Target has some good solid-colored (and inexpensive) rash guards in case you’re in the market for something without any lettering/graphics. Upgrade pick: Minnow!
Putting this out there in the ether: I wish girls’ swimsuits came with snaps along the bottom, even up through age 6 or 8 — heck, maybe all the way up through adult sizes, ha. It is hard for girls to get into and out of their wet suits on their own! It has been a bit of a struggle because of course any time mini needs to use the facilities, I need to pluck micro out of the water, too, as I can’t leave him unattended. I also wish more rash guards had zipper fronts or backs. Those are really hard to peel off when wet, too.
P.S. Mini has grown up so much over the past few weeks. This post gives me an enormous lump in my throat.
I will never forget when Mr. Magpie explained the concept of a “BATNA” to me — a negotiating acronym for “Best Alternative to No Agreement.” If a deal goes south, and the parties cannot agree to the terms, what is the most appealing alternative? The answer can take on a range of shapes: find a new buyer/seller, arbitrate in some way, arrest all negotiations and resume the status quo, etc. His explanation of the concept was business-oriented, strategic, but I thought to myself: “So that’s what I’ve been doing my entire life — identifying BATNAs.”
What I mean is this: well prior to any hint of foulplay or disruption, I not only imagine plans b, c, and d but all the way through x, y, and z and probably a2, b2, c2, d2, etc. When we discovered that someone close to us had contracted COVID a few months ago, within minutes, I was spiraling into imaginary scenarios in which any member of my household also tested positive, and defining phantom protocols, and contemplating whether we’d need to cancel travel plans and who we’d need to contact and what I might say to those people. I know contingency planning is not the same thing as identifying BATNAs, but they stem from the same impulse: finding the exits, imagining conclusions that aren’t ruinous, feeling vaguely prepared for the unknown. Even when confronted with innocuous situations like dinner plans, I find it irresistible to walk through fictional logistical snafus and how we might work through them, or not — traffic, postponed reservations, slow service, babysitter curfews, etc. My Dad is much the same way. “I’m sorry you inherited my sickness,” he will tell me, thumbing through elaborate notes he’s made on whatever project or travel plans or inventory we’re working through. That’s where I’m comfortable: itemizing, strategizing, nailing things down that don’t necessarily need to be nailed down.
Does everyone do this? Am I peculiarly saddled, as my father intimates? Is it a family thing? I feel that I’ve been this way my entire life, but perhaps entrepreneurship — that beast in which anything that can go wrong will — really drew it out of me?
I will say this: earlier this summer, I surprised myself. In another instance in which someone close to us tested positive for COVID, rather than fling myself into a grid of possible outcomes, I suspended myself. I actually conjured the image of a gate coming down. “The only thing you’re going to focus on right now is the next step.” In this case, that meant procuring tests for everyone in the house and waiting for the results. Every time my mind would crawl around a new corner, or grope for the keys to the gate, I’d issue a firm shove: “Nope. Just focus on the next thing.”
Perhaps this scenario was possible because COVID protocols and procedures are so ingrained in us that they’re no longer the scary mess they used to be. Still, if someone had tested positive, we would be back to the long and bedraggling stretch of childcare-less weeks we endured before Christmas this past year, and — yikes. But my will during the fire drill startled me. It occurred to me that perhaps I have been letting anxieties drive the cart a little too fast these past many years, and that it is possible to issue stern correction and adjust the pace if not entirely stop the wheels.
Since this incident, I find myself more self-conscious about my BATNA-oriented meanderings. “Nope,” I’ll say to myself. “Just focus on the next thing.” It doesn’t always work. In fact, it almost never works at 3 a.m., when I am a corkscrew of sheets and stress. But give me a fresh morning and the courage that rises with it and I am capable of a little more elbow room than I ever remember having.
+Excuse me — this crochet dress is $15 and I LOVE THE COLORS. Also love this mini (also under $20) from the same brand and this $21 one too — reminds me in cut of something by Saloni?
+Andale! Marysia workout dresses on sale for under $120 here and here.
+Speaking of tennis: just bought some new tennis gear for Mr. Magpie, availing myself of Lacoste’s semi-annual sale, including this performance polo and this one, these shorts, and this visor. I also bought him a few pieces from Nike, including this dri-fit polo and these shorts (<<Mr. Magpie already has a few pairs of these and loves this exact style in the 7″. He first read about it somewhere else as the best shorts for tennis, and I think he agrees!)
+While at Lacoste: children’s polos in great colors for only $26!
+Loose fit maxi to throw on over a suit or putz around the house in.
+OO this maxi skirt – on sale plus an extra 15% off with code EXTRA15! Check out the whole sale section here. This floral top would be so cute under white overalls!
+Adore this dramatic midi. (Right at home with this roundup of dresses without smocking or puffed sleeves!)
We have access to a pool this summer and suddenly I cannot stop shopping for new swimsuits. I am a deal hunter and wanted to share a few fabulous swim scores —
P.S. A great flip flop and bag (look for less with this) for beach adventures. I also noticed that Business and Pleasure beach umbrellas are 20% off here. Complete the look with these fab beach chairs.
P.P.S. More great gear for outdoor hangs here and here.
