I have been waiting for nearly a decade for the riding boot to return, and it is back. Most of the trendier current-season iterations profess a slightly thicker sole and a minimalist shaft, and I’m loving the look. Below, my pick of the litter, at a range of price points —
Q: Dress shoes for an almost 3 year old boy. Is he too old for t-straps? Saddle shoe? Blue v brown? The amount of consideration I’ve put into this…
A: Personally, I prefer a loafer at this age — Elephantito or Target. You can do knee socks with them if you’re pairing with dungarees (that’s what I did last Thanksgiving with the most precious set from Luca and Luca, similar to this current season one). Saddle shoes are timeless but I must admit something: I’ve bought my son a few pairs over the years (Footmates is a classic brand for this style of shoe) and they always felt just the tiniest bit stuffy? Like, I’d put them on him and it felt “correct” but it just didn’t match my aesthetic/style as much as a pair of loafers? I do think it depends on circumstance — saddle shoes do feel right for a formal wedding or very traditional setting. I would do navy in the saddle shoe.
Q: Halloween party for a 30 year old.
A: This Mme Mink mask and an LBD. I’m not big on costumes so I prefer to dress more “general Halloween vibe,” and that fits the bill for me. Alternately, a top like this with embellished flats like these. Have fun!
Q: A fashionable dress under $1000 for a black tie wedding in November.
A: I’ve been swooning over this Alexis. The palette skews a little summery for the November date but I think if you pair with, like, topaz jewelry, you can winterize it. Also adore this Andres Otalora — it’s so fun to wear a big pattern to black tie since it feels like most guests wear, well, black. A few black dresses that I think would be spectacular for the occasion: this Anna October, this La Ligne, this Ulla J, and this Ulla J. I would wear a big, sparkly earring with any of those. This rust colored Veronica Beard would be spectacular, especially with an updo and a feather jacket. Finally, this Reformation is fetching and I love the colors and pattern. Imagine with these earrings! Oh! And if you are willing to go a bit over budget, people rave about the flattering fit of Chiara Boni La Petite Robe dresses. Apparently they flatter nearly any body type!
Q: My daughter is getting married in December. White bridal shower dress and mother of the bride dress.
A: Congratulations! For the bridal shower dress, I love this La Ligne, this ladylike Staud, and this gamine Six Penny shift (pair with statement heels like these). If she’s on the more romantic/feminine end of the spectrum, this lace mini is adorable. And if you are open to a splurge, anything Emilia Wickstead is…iconic. As for you — !! Mother of the bride!! I am in love with Markarian for special occasion. This would be breathtaking for a winter wedding. I also love this navy Amsale — elegant and sophisticated! — and this ML which has just the right amount of joy/playfulness for such a happy occasion. Finally, this Cartolina jumped to mind — so sophisticated and interesting with the flounce hem and puff sleeve.
Q: Starting a new work from home job and would love work essentials — supplies, snacks, etc!
A: Good luck with the transition! Exciting. (I want to echo my dad’s words: “You’re gonna love it.”). I shared some favorite WFH items in this post back when I was literally squatting wherever I could in our NY apartment during the pandemic. Since then, I’ve added a couple of other desk must-haves to my repertoire:
THESE DOCUMENT ENVELOPES — KEEP MY LIFE IN ORDER…LOVE HAVING SEPARATE ENVELOPES FOR DIFFERENT UNDERTAKINGS, E.G., APPLICATION MATERIALS, DOCTOR’S FORMS, LEGAL DOCS, ETC
On snacks — one surprise treat for me with my husband and I permanently WFH is that we often sit down to a proper lunch together midday, at the dining table. Because we eat a full meal together, I find I do not snack nearly as much, if ever? I like the idea of leaning into being at home in order to sit down to a true meal! But in general, I like to snack on hard pretzels, extra toasty cheez-its, those Italian taralli crackers (especially the fennel or spicy ones), or a piece of good Parmesan.
Q: Chic fitted rain jacket.
A: Mackage! I learned about this brand from one of the moms at my daughter’s NYC Montessori. She was fabulously stylish and wore Mackage rain and winter coats — she always looked very pulled together, even when it was a snowstorm or torrential downpour. J. Crew also has a good one! Don’t forget chic rain boots!
Q: Dress for my son’s Baptism — October 22nd in North Carolina. Not too fancy.
A: I would do a pretty fall print dress like this, this, this, or this.
Q: Comfy chic lounge pant that you can wear outside IRL.
A: The NYC brand Sold Out specializes in this — check our these or these. You could pair either with a ballet flat, loafer, or dressy sneaker and a turtleneck or long-sleeved tee and look completely pulled together. I love this brand’s boucle jacket, too — it looks cozy enough to be a sweatshirt but the shape is fashion-conscious.
Q: Toddlers’ cold weather gear — mittens, hats, etc.
A: I love the knit hats and mittens from Blueberry Hill. Such cute designs and great colors — but they are much more reasonably priced than other knit pieces for littles I’ve considered, which is kind of essential for me, as hats/mittens are so likely to get lost or mucked up with use. I also always buy a pack or two of these inexpensive H&M gloves — they are simple, stretchy, come in good basic colors, and you won’t cry when they get lost.
Q: Afternoon tea outfit in swanky NYC hotel — beginning of Dec.
A: Oo enjoy! I used to do tea at the Plaza or Whitby during the holidays. Fun! The first thing that came to mind was a fabulous coat like this, this, or this worn over a simple black shift, possibly with flocked/patterned tights? That’s actually what I am wearing to dinner tonight and it really made me think of my NYC days. I also love the idea of patterned trousers with a jacket/cardigan. Obsessed with the idea of wearing the matching top with those trousers, but you could also do a plain black or cream turtleneck instead. Another option: cableknit sweater dress with a velvet headband and suede boots. Oo. La. La. Finally, Maxwell and Geraldine is launching a bunch of adorable winter dresses in tartans and dark florals on Sunday (October 9) and I feel like any of those would be perfect beneath a cardigan.
Q: Traditional (preppy?) male wardrobe building blocks.
Q: 40th birthday outfit. Resort in Mexico with my man!
A: Something FUN from Farm Rio like this or Celia B! Have the best time! Happy brithday.
Q: Quilted black tote – under $400.
A: I love this one from Clare Vivier. If you’re looking for more of a diaper bag, I’ve loved my MZ Wallace but I don’t know I’d wear it as much if not toting my children’s stuff around. The CV feels a bit more elevated for everyday wear. Finally, not quilted, but textured in a similar way: Naghedi!
By: Jen Shoop
Sharing my second post today a hair early because I’m worried about sell out factor!
Today, a trifecta of shopping goodness —
WEEZIE BIRTHDAY SALE. 25% off sitewide! (BTW, this is the best deal they offer every year — they do not do a sitewide discount on Black Friday.) The discount applies to the already-discounted towel bundles, meaning you are saving closer to 40%. But I personally love this sale as an opportunity to buy ahead for holiday gifts — I have in the past given these personalized short robes as gifts. I own and adore this robe. The short sleeves are a revelation. I am less likely to overheat while styling my hair, and it’s so much easier to wash your face / apply makeup without thick terry sleeves getting in the way! A great gift for a bride, sister, mother, daughter, daughter-in-law who enjoys taking her time to get ready — we all know who those women are. (I’m one.) I also can’t overstate how much we loved these beach towel cover ups for littles this year, seen on my son above. We spent a lot of time at the pool and beach and these are such a great (and adorable) solution for little ones toweling off on the way home in the car (nice and plush — absorbs a lot of water) or shaking off the chill. I think a great buy-now-and-thank-yourself-later purchase, or a lovely gift from a grandparent. (P.S. While we’re talking bath — my favorite items to upgrade your shower experience.)
TORY BURCH FALL SALE. 25% off orders $200+ and 30% off orders $500+. This dress has been insanely popular with you all this fall, and it’s currently 30% off! Spectacular, versatile, and works equally for work, cocktails, lunches, etc. This colorblocked dress is also fabulous, and I’ve lusted over a Lee Radziwill bag for ages now.
Finally, not on sale, but two items I wanted to spotlight: talented jewelry designer Nicola Bathie just launched a collection with Dillard’s, and, if I were expecting, I would be all over this adorable shift swing dress for a baby shower. So charmingly retro! J’adore. Second, this fall-hued floral from Doen has been very popular with my Magpies the past few days. I’m thinking it’s the perfect Thanksgiving dress.
While writing about the challenge and virtue of letting our children fail, I had a flashback to a memory that continually presents itself. I was maybe thirteen and my parents had left my older brother (then fifteen or so) and I at home to look after our three little siblings while they went out. A little before bedtime, my nine-year-old sister slipped and fell in the shower. She appeared in my door, like an apparition, cradling her arm. Her face was contorted in pain. Something settled over me. A nearly medicinal calm. I quietly inspected her arm. There was something not right about the wound, to my novitiate eyes — it was thin but deep. It was not smeared with blood in the way I’d anticipated, but rather slowly trickling in a way that made me think the cut was different — deeper — than your run of the mill abrasion.
“It’s fine,” I lied, “It’s going to be OK.” It was a lie because I had no idea whether it was true, but I also sensed it was the appropriate reassurance to offer given my sister’s blanched countenance. I retrieved a towel from the linen closet and wrapped it around her arm and told her not to look at it again. I said this with a kind of performed mother hen briskness that I still trot out with my own children. Then I sprinted upstairs to fetch my brother. He’d recently received his learner’s permit, and as I skipped up the steps two by two, I was already wondering whether it would be feasible for him to drive her to the E.R. for stitches, or whether it was still illegal? Maybe it would be OK given the state of emergency?
“I think Christina needs stitches,” I spluttered. My brother came down, took a look at her arm, and determined she would be fine. He insisted we wait until my parents came home. Because he was older and seemed confident in this prognosis, we did. I spent the next two hours pulling out every joke and distraction I had. I was her jester, hamming it up garishly despite my mounting concern over the bloody towel wrapped around her arm. When the headlights of my parents’ car first dotted the foot of the drive, I walked quietly out of the room, down the hall to the steps, and then sprinted down the stairs and out the door to greet them before they’d even entered the house. I breathlessly explained the situation. I felt profound relief, passing the baton of my sister’s responsibility. Adults were there and could figure out the rest. My sister did, in fact, need stitches. I remember my mother pressing me to her in a hug later that night, after they returned from the hospital. “You did all the right things,” she said. Also, possibly, a lie, but she, too, probably sensed it was the appropriate reassurance given my own blanched countenance.
This somewhat trivial anecdote reflects so much. I am struck by how conscientious and worried I was as a young girl. What might it have been like to possess my brother’s sangfroid in that circumstance? I recently read somewhere that “older sisters are the backbone of the family.” This sounds suspiciously as though it were written by an older sister. (Ha! I kid!) I do think there is an element of truth in that statement though, and I write that not to self-aggrandize, but to observe that older sisters play a powerful role in mothering younger sisters. I think back on that moment and marvel at the immediate way in which I toggled out of homework and into “mother hen mode.” I am still shocked at how calm, how non-squeamish I was. I’d stared at her wound without registering disgust or fear. “Oh, we need a towel,” I’d said, as if this was the most natural and unremarkable thing in the world.
In short, I surprised myself that night. I had not known that I possessed the strength to suppress my own worries and queasiness in service of someone I loved until that evening. Afterward, I saw myself anew.
I wish my sister hadn’t been injured in the first place, but I feel in some ways that God was introducing me to myself — or to the brave, determined, nurturing version of myself that I can sometimes be — that night. I have leaned on that glimpsed version of myself for years now, as though a perennial insurance policy. If I could it then, I can do it now, I think, when my own whimpering children materialize in my door.
Funny, how challenges — trivial and not — can be that way. How they can bend us into seeing ourselves anew, as though forged by fire?
Have you ever surprised yourself?
Post-Scripts.
+Similar sentiments on transformation in motherhood here.
+I am one of five children and have learned a lot through siblinghood.
+Cute sherpa belt bag for layering over everything this fall/winter. Love a belt bag for serious mom moments, e.g., travel, playground, solo chasing children anywhere! Hands free life!
+Been feeling uninspired when it comes to my children’s lunchboxes — I pack the same four or five lunches over and over again — and am looking to Jenny Mollen for help.
+Obsessed with this long vest for layering over knit dresses (as styled on the site) and jeans.
+These Grinch pajamas caught my eye — my children LOVE the classic Grinch movie and watch it over and over again during the holiday season.
+Grateful for a reader for introducing me to these inexpensive velvet shoes in great fall colors at a fantastic price!
+These classic white pima turtlenecks for littles are on sale for $11/pop! Just added a bunch to cart for both of my children. Great for layering beneath jumpers, jon jons, overalls!
+These cashmere mocknecks come in the dreamiest colors.
+Also love this under-$100 mockneck, especially in the bright pink or camel and white stripe.
+Treated myself to this headband organizer after I realized my collection was growing a bit too unwieldy.
By: Jen Shoop
I hope the title of this post did not elicit too many groans. (We’re not even to Halloween! If you’re still firmly in early fall mode, though, I shared all my favorite Halloween finds here.)
However! I was startled by how many of you have been asking me where to buy stockings, tree toppers, and Advent wreaths! And our tree topper (which sells out every year) is already sold out. Pro tip: these tiny boxwood wreaths (similar to those seen above) can work across all four season — just swap out the ribbon. They’re beautiful hung in windows, over the backs of chairs, at place settings, etc!
Today, I thought I’d speak to my fellow “anticipators” by sharing a couple of fantastic buys worth purchasing ahead of time. I have found that stocking holders are particularly difficult to find the closer you get to December, and several items below are personalized!
01. FELT SUBWAY ORNAMENT. I bought Mr. Magpie one of these right before we left Manhattan and it’s now a complete treasure for us. The quality of the ornaments from this felt ornament shop is incredible — they make such great keepsake gifts. Good to order ahead as these take awhile to arrive. For those looking for a great starter set of ornaments, Mr. Magpie and I bought two big sets of shatterproof metallic ornaments from Martha Stewart’s brand when we were first married and have been adding to our more personalized collection of ornaments every year since. This is a really great “starter pack.”
02. FIG AND DOVE MONOGRAMMED WREATH SASH. I love the polish and personalization this affords a front door wreath. Gorgeous! Thinking this might be a good gift for my mother in law this year.
03. WEMO SMART PLUG. Makes turning off the Christmas tree lights so easy. No more crouching behind the tree with your cheek pressed to the wall, groping around for the plug. With this plug, you can configure with Siri and then just shout, “Hey Siri, turn off the Christmas tree!”
04. KRINNER TREE GENIE. I rave about this contraption every year and — well — over 7000 five-star reviews on Amazon do not lie. If you’ve ever tried to put a live tree into one of those flimsy plastic stands you buy at “the tree guy’s,” your life is about to get much better. This makes it SO easy. No messy screws. No tipping base. No more marital disputes as one crouches at the basin while the other holds the bushy tree upright — only to have the tree stand crooked all season long. Surprise your husband with this and wait for the applause.
05. FIG AND DOVE TREE TOPPER AND/OR ORNAMENTS. Just gorgeous. Would have gone with this if we didn’t have our (sold out now) Cody Foster.
06. REINDEER STOCKING HOLDERS. I have a very similar set with reindeer that I adore, though ours are bronzed like these rather than polished. I really like the shape/silhouette of the reindeer that come in the Company Store set though. You can get the look for a little less with these.
07. PERSONALIZED HOME PORTRAIT ORNAMENT. This is such a sweet gift for new homeowners — or a gift for yourself as a recent homeowner! These take over a month to paint, FYI!
09. ADVENT WREATH. I love the simple style. This particular vendor charges a lot to ship this to the U.S., but hear me out — if you buy the exact same one elsewhere, it is nearly twice the price to begin with, pre-shipping. Don’t forget the purple and pink candles! For those curious about the tradition: we light the Advent wreath every single night after dinner during the four weeks leading up to Christmas, starting with just one candle, and adding an additional candle each week that passes. We light the pink one the third week of Advent, as a reminder that we are meant to be especially anticipatory as we are drawing close to the nativity. In our house, we light the candles and then sing “O Come O Come Emmanuel” every night of Advent. The children love blowing out the candles and singing the song.
11. HAND-CARVED WOODEN NATIVITY SET. This is absolutely gorgeous and speaks to the Montessori aesthetic. This colorful peg doll set ($20 at Target!) and this PBK set would be a great options for little hands to play with, too. Every year, we leave a wooden set out on the coffee table and the children play with it all season long. A great way to invite them into the story of Christmas.
12. ADVENT CALENDAR. This one with the stockings is so cute! We have a tradition where we tie a small gift onto the advent calendar each day of Advent. Sometimes these are really small — a Hershey kiss, some new crayons — and sometimes they are a little more substantive. I also love this personalized Advent calendar from Etsy.
14. VELVET CHRISTMAS STOCKING. This is the most similar to the set we have from Pottery Barn, which is very similar to this current season design from PB. I didn’t link the PB one because I feel like their embroidery has gone way down in quality in the last few years. I’ve had to complain and ask for a replacement for a few things because the script/embroidery was so bad! Anyhow, the LL Bean is simple and timeless.
15. PERSONALIZED NEEDLEPOINT STOCKING. Comes in several different designs. At $29/pop, these are the most cost-effective way I’ve seen to getting that “grandma needlepointed this” look.
18. BAUBLE STOCKINGS TOPIARY AND WREATH STOCKINGS. Note that these are tiny — they are actually meant to be “bauble stockings,” meaning planted on the tree with a tiny jewelry box inside!
I participated in a book club last week in which we discussed the poem “The Writer” by Richard Wilbur. The central image of the poem is a father looking on — encouragingly, but as a spectator — as his daughter strains to express herself in writing. One of the things that struck me about the conversation that followed was how universally-felt that parenting experience is. Every single mother in the group — and these mothers spanned from women in their 30s to their 60s — related to the agony of watching a child struggle and knowing that it is best to let the child figure it out on her own. This is true of babies rooting around to find their pacifiers and learning to self-soothe, toddlers insisting “I do it” while spilling milk all over the floor, right on up to teens moping their way around the strangeness of adolescence and adult children trying on new partners and new careers. One of my girlfriends shared that just earlier that day, her three year old boy had insisted on getting himself dressed and emerged from his room beaming, his polo shirt on backwards so that the collar was pressed suffocatingly to his neck. “And so I sent him off to school like that,” she said, with a sigh.
We all murmured our approval, because —
What a beautiful thing, to love somebody so much that you would gladly bear the awkwardness, or the discomfort, or the desire to “correct,” such that he can grow to be independent.
I feel this profoundly when I am on the playground with my boy. He is three and in possession of that terrifying mix of ambition and wild overestimation of his own abilities. I watch him mount climbing walls and ascend the bars of various playground structures with my breath sucked-in. His feet wobble on the rungs. I watch him calculate his own purchase. I have to sit on my hands, suppress the desire to call out, “Be careful!”, which I know should be stricken from my motherly vocabulary. I usually send Mr. Magpie in. He is much better at this:
“How do you feel up there?” he’ll shout, looking both calm and impressed.
After, my boy will stand, elated. “I did it!” he’ll shout, usually to his sister rather than to us. She invariably applauds.
Mr. Magpie will return to the bench and tell me: “Trust me, it will be more dangerous if we don’t let him do this. He’ll just get sturdier the more he tries.” I will remind myself to exhale.
This physical example feels already like a metaphor for crucibles down the road. That is, these “little kid” interactions are a rehearsal — “little kids, little problems,” one of my girlfriends told me the other day. I don’t want to imagine what big kid problems look like yet. But I appreciate that I am preparing myself for the eventuality.
And so, like Wilbur, I will continue to practice. I will work at “wishing my children a lucky passage.” I will stand at the door, listening, loving, scaffolding, praying for the moment where they are
Beating a smooth course for the right window And clearing the sill of the world.
Post-Scripts.
+At first, the word “wish” sat unwell with me because of the old adage — “don’t grow a wishbone where a backbone ought to be.” But in this case, I think it’s more about doing as much as you can as a parent and then affording your children the space to be themselves.
+Head of fashion at J. Crew, Olympia Gayot, shared that this brushed wool topcoat is her favorite piece in J. Crew’s current collection and now I can’t get it out of my head. The texture and shape are so good!
+Another really good miniskirt option — under $35. I like the idea of this with a slightly chunky riding boot and knit on top.
+This satin headband is $8 and the perfect width and color — light brown.
+Now THIS coat is fabulous. And under $100. I often feel that biker-inspired coats are too aggressive on me, but this has such a great cropped cut and I love the collar and cuffs.
+The details on this Rhode dress! Would be a good option if expecting / with bump for various fall activities / family portraits / etc.
+These children’s pajamas are surprisingly well made for the $20 price.
+I saw the founder of chic label Sold Out Nyc wearing these silky pants on Instastories, and loved the way she styled it — with a white tee and sneaks for casual wear; with a blazer and heels for drinks. Versatile!
+H&M just released a chic ankle-height cowboy boot for $65. Run!
+These giant coloring sheets are fun for an at-home activity for littles — perfect for Thanksgiving or a Halloween celebration.
+This fleece topper is so fun. It brought to mind the fabulous Gucci coat I’ve seen all over Instagram lately!
+Fun sweater jacket situation. (Guess I’m in an outerwear mood!)
By: Jen Shoop
MARIGOLD CRUSH. I cannot get enough of this color this fall. I’ve never owned anything in this colorway and I’ve fallen hard. I just added this $35 chunky knit from H&M to my cart, but I’m drooling over this feathered Taller Marmo dress (!). Feathered pieces are so in for fall. I have a guide I’ve been working on that I will release soon — such a fun, flashy way to get dressed up. Finally, I have been searching for a pair of mustard yellow velvet Mary Janes or furlanes in my size. I cannot find a single pair in my pixie foot size (5). If you have a more normal foot size, please treat yourself to these or these! I keep imagining how fabulous they’d look with jeans, a white blouse, and a blazer. And BTW — if you want to get the velvet mary jane look for less, check out this under-$20 pair on Amazon! I’d go with burgundy or black.
DEATH COMES TO THE ARCHBISHOP BY WILLA CATHER. Just about to start this classic (which I’ve never read!) for my book club. I’m excited to have the assignment imposed upon me — I would never have picked it myself, and Cather is a big hole in my personal canon.
PATTERNED TURTLENECKS. I wrote all about these yesterday, but patterned turtlenecks are one of my favorite layering pieces for fall. So fun to mix and match with other patterns, textures, colors. In the snaps above, I am wearing J. Crew’s fall floral turtleneck (could not resist the colors and pattern!), H&M’s cropped sweater (sold out but they do restock on occasion – you can sign up for notifications; you can get similar cropped styles here and here and I personally love the way they look when worn on top of the turtleneck with high-waist jeans, so just a little strip of the floral shows at the bottom, but if you’re not into the cropped look, check out these timeless styles from La Ligne and Boden, and they will last an eternity in your wardrobe), and Agolde pinch waist jeans. I received a lot of questions about these jeans over Instagram. I would take your true size — they fit a tiny bit big maybe? but that feels like “the look.” They run long – I had to have the hemmed a good deal.
ESSIE BOLD AND BOULDER NAIL POLISH. I usually do bright red (OPI’s Big Apple Red or Essie’s Really Red) but I’m feeling a moody dark red hue, and this color fits the bill.
STAUB COCOTTE DUTCH OVEN. We use this year-round, but there is something distinctly pleasurable about seeing it on the stove on a chilly fall afternoon. Mr. Magpie made chili last weekend after we came back from apple picking, and it gave me all the fall feels. The Staub is probably in our top ten most used kitchen tools? We use it to deep fry, make big batches of anything, make stews, etc.
AMLACTIN FOOT CREAM. I’ve tried maybe a dozen foot creams over the years and most of them are too thin or too greasy, and/or don’t really do much. AmLactin’s is the best I’ve tried. It has skincare grade ingredients and it really hydrates even cracked, ultra-dry skin. I’ve been slathering this on before bed.
SHRIMPS EARRINGS. Mr. Magpie gave me these for Christmas last year and they are absolutely fabulous. Anytime I’m not feeling my outfit for an evening out, I toss these on and instantly feel like having fun.
MADEWELL UTILITY JUMPSUIT. I’m wearing a past-season corduroy jumpsuit from Madewell in the snap above and just have to give a shout out to Madewell for making the best jumpsuits. I own several. They tend to run big, so size down if in question. I love that they make their jumpsuits in petite sizes, too, so I don’t need to hem/alter. This current-season style of theirs is very Ulla Johnson! I personally like to balance out the “utility” vibe of the jumpsuit with slightly dressier shoes, like captoe ballerinas or suede pointed toe loafers, and sometimes a big scarf around the neck. Julia Amory has styled her own pareos in that way — see inspo here. More great jumpsuits for fall here.
J. CREW STRAIGHT LEG FAUX LEATHER PANTS. Oh my gosh – I’ve never ordered anything faster. I saw these and they leapt into my cart. So chic to pair with a chunky ivory knit and pointed toe pumps (<<I own these in velvet and they are fabulous for the price), or a patterned turtleneck, or a frothy white top.
My focus this week was buying footwear for the littles now that temperatures are dropping. Next week, I’m going to focus on sweaters and outerwear — I’ve purchased some, but there are some obvious holes. I have been finding it easier this season to “batch” my focus — e.g., I’ve done a few big shops for basics like leggings, tees, jeans, then bought a few novelty pieces for each, and now I’m focused on footwear.
For micro, we already have this pair of Vejas and these fire engine red Hunter boots that fit him and are suitable for fall, but I also bought Nikes (for actual running around — the Vejas are more for style TBH), brown boots, and loafers. I also want to buy him either a pair of Chucks or Vans for fun/statement but have had the tabs open all week going back and forth on the vibe.
Mini already has a few pairs of Cientas, a pair of Golden Goose sneakers, glittery Hunter boots, and these Nikes for athletics, but I wanted a few pairs of boots. I bought her these “Native Treklite-inspired boots” and some simple black ankle boots, but I will be buying her a pair of Uggs (she loves them and they are so easy to throw on with jeans and leggings) and need a pair of dressy shoes for her, probably Elephantito, La Coqueta, or Childrenchic. I am also finding it difficult to resist buying her a pair of unnecessary cowgirl boots to mirror the mama trend…how amazing are these in rose gold?!
This Week’s Most Popular: Fall Finds.
The most popular items on Magpie this week:
01. WASHED BLACK DENIM A-LINE MIDI DRESS WITH SQUARE NECKLINE
02. HIGH NECK TIERED LONG SLEEVE MAXI DRESS WITH A FLATTERING SMOCKED BODICE IN A NAVY FLORAL PRINT
15. ISABEL MARANT MID-CALF WESTERN BOOTS IN BLACK SUEDE WITH A POINTED TOE AND BEAUTIFUL STITCHING DETAILS
Weekend Musings: Moments of Self-Doubt.
I had a beautiful conversation with a girlfriend earlier this week about self-doubt. We talked at some length about contemplating the source of that sentiment when it rears its head. Is it by virtue of comparison to others? Is it based on feedback from bosses, peers, family members? Is it something in the work we are producing or choices we are making that seems implicitly lacking? It occurred to me that identifying the source may help clarify the validity of the feelings.
We mainly focused on how sensitive we can be to how others are reacting to us, our decisions, our successes, our failures. This is complicated, because sometimes, these impressions are in fact projections of our own insecurities. Just recently, I was at a party and someone asked what I did for a living. I responded with my usual, “I’m a writer. What about you?”
“What do you write?”
“A lifestyle blog called Magpie.” When there was a pause at the end, I went on to explain briefly what a blog is, what I write about, the various subjects we engage with in the comments, and —
My party mate cut me off rather abruptly to ask about the food inside.
For some reason, this curtness dredged up old feelings of self-doubt tethered to some of my misgivings about pursuing an advanced degree in literature. Rather than assuming he was hungry, or socially awkward, or had not been able to hear me above the din of the party, or had simply assumed the exchange was over, I immediately read his interjection as dismissal.
Later, I found myself dismantling my own reading of the situation. I had been so quick — so spry! — in finding judgment in his voice, and I don’t think that was fair to him–or to me. I have since seen that gentleman multiple times, and each time, he has been charming, polite, and an interesting conversationalist. And if by some chance he does find my craft “less than” or “uninteresting,” well — ?
As Kacey Musgraves put it, “Nobody’s everybody’s favorite.”
My girlfriend drew herself to similar conclusions, writing me, the morning after our chat, to say: “Not everybody’s always going to get you. It’s not your business to worry about what they think.”
Some of these observations meshed beautifully with a question from a Magpie reader earlier this week, in which she asked, “What is the best way to get out of ambiguously feeling like I’m doing a bad job?”
I first offered up the strategy of considering the source of those sentiments to help validate or invalidate the feeling. But I added:
“Do something that you know you’re good at. Confidence by proxy.”
“Reframe the thinking: instead of, ‘I’m so bad at this,’ say, ‘I’m not good at this YET’ or ‘I’m learning to be good at this.'”
“Give yourself grace. We all go through patterns of learning and mastery, learning and mastery, learning and mastery. There is no other way. We are all novitiates sometimes.”
How about you? How do you work through moments of self-doubt?
+Everlane’s popular liner jacket is back this year! I love mine. Perfect layer for this early-to-mid-fall weather. I’m also eyeing their pima micro-rib tee as a great base for pairing with jeans/statement sweaters/vests/etc.
+These houndstooth Rothys are super fun! Love the idea of these with jeans and a white button down.
+A reader wrote to tell me that these jeans are a great “dupe” for Citizens’ popular Charlotte jeans.
+The neckline on this La Ligne dress is just…swoon!
+How chic is this little scalloped throw pillow?! The print is fabulous for fall.
+These little LL Bean pullovers are so cute. I think micro needs one! Also eyeing this tartan collar polo for him.
+How cute is this dusty pink sherpa vest? Also love this longline one from J. Crew! Quel statement!
I am obsessed with all of the patterned turtlenecks out this season, and am especially drooling over the richly patterned ones from Ulla Johnson’s latest collection (seen above). I am a huge fan of layering turtlenecks in the fall/winter and finding ones with rich patterns to play with has been so fun. I especially love to layer turtlenecks beneath statement vests, chunky knits (especially love to have the patterned turtleneck poke out over the top of a turtleneck sweater), blazers, and even shirtdresses (which I did a lot last fall). I’m also contemplating layering one beneath a cord jumpsuit or a cotton one — unbutton to mid-chest and make sure to roll up the sleeves and even the ankles to give the look a bit more ease and movement.
Below, some absolutely fabulous patterned turtlenecks for the season ahead —
P.P.P.S. It feels like everyone’s getting sick! My sick day essentials.
By: Jen Shoop
Gosh, it feels good to write that title. It is not lost on me that just over a year ago, we were still tiptoeing around on tenterhooks, pondering whether it was safe to hold Thanksgiving. And the year prior, we were more or less marooned in Manhattan, desperately warming our hands around whatever we could find that brought us small sparks of joy — a good bottle of champagne. A new nap dress. A burger ordered in from Polo Bar. The latest episode of “Only Murders in the Building.” Breaking bread with friends felt like an ultra-luxury. That year in New York was interminable. And yet here we are, on the other side, tilting our heads this way and that as we wonder what to wear to dinner. We are amazingly resilient.
Today, sharing some favorite looks for dinners OUT. A few of our favorite restaurants in the D.C. area, in case you’re local and looking for a reason to get out of the house: Rose’s Luxury, Crane, Black Salt, Maydan, Hank’s Oyster Bar, Pizza Paradiso, Rooster and Owl, Spanish Diner. We also recently ordered a fabulous (delivery) burger from Duke’s Counter and want to pay a visit IRL — we were impressed. More of our favorite things to do in D.C. here, and — because I’ve gotten a few queries along these lines lately — some of our favorite NYC spots at the bottom of this post.
For years, I have been gravitating toward floor-skimming and ankle-grazing hem lengths, and suddenly, I’m contemplating the mini again. I love the way so many of the styles out this season pay loose homage to Cher in Clueless — tweeds, checks, pairings with shirting stripes and textured knits. My inner teen is in heaven.
Elizabeth would have been 39 this past Monday. Her birthday is a personal tide staff. It falls six months to the day after my own, and represents, always, an invitation for self-measurement: “I’m going to be 39 in six months?!” and, at the same time, more somberly, “The distance between us widens.”
Earlier today, a dear friend and former colleague of mine texted me, out of the blue: “I know it’s been several months since Nate [our colleague, who died in an accident earlier this year] passed – I was thinking about him and wanted to check in to see how you are doing. Hard not to let life take over sometimes. I guess we are wired like that — and probably for good reason.”
It is true, the way time mercifully relaxes even the most strident of emotions. I think this is more a function of growing around the grief versus the grief itself shrinking. When I first heard that Nate had passed away, I was pulled over in my car in a small alcove of Bethesda, MD. As it turns out, I pass that alcove on the way to my daughter’s new school, and so I find him very much present in my everyday life. At first, crossing that intersection grabbed at my stomach. I could be having a perfectly pleasant morning and then I’d remember Nate’s untimely death and a shiver would run through me. Now, it’s not so much that life has taken over, or overwritten his memory, but that I’ve grown around it. Life has taken root around the perimeter, softening what was once granite.
There is something about Elizabeth’s birthday that is particularly intransigent, though. In many ways, age has enabled me to find her in new and beautiful manifestations. But her birthdays remain flinty. It is difficult not to tumble into the “would have been” and “should have been” thoughts on September 26th. This year, I found her on my mind, but almost as if a figure glimpsed out of the corner of my eye: blurry, immaterial, but sensed nonetheless. All day long, I felt her there, and yet I continued to put one foot in front of the other, never quite pausing to fully dwell on her. But then I was standing at the kitchen sink that night, wiping the suds off of our saucepan, and I felt a thick lump form in the back of my throat. I shifted weight. I cleared my throat. I stared for a moment out the dark square of window in front of me. Elizabeth.
I am old enough now that, for the most part, I hold these sighing sorrows quietly to myself. I finish cleaning the pot. I dry it. I turn on the dishwasher. I ready myself for bed. As I said, life takes root around the perimeter. Not, it seems, at the center.
