I finished Claire Keegan’s slim novel Small Things Like These yesterday morning and sat in my empty living room with the sunlight filtering through the front window, and my children out with my husband at the dentist’s, and the December wind pawing at the panes, and felt like I’d just been to a heavy Mass — the kind where a sermon or verse knocks the wind out of you, or re-animates the everyday. The shock of going out into the morning air afterward! The improbability of then having to put your key in the ignition, and put on your signal, and remind your children to buckle their seatbelts — the way the world continues on, unknowing.
One of the most moving parts of the book: when the protagonist Bill Furlong contemplates the possibility that the kind farmhand, Ned, who had looked after him as child, had in fact been his father: “Hadn’t it been an act of daily grace, on Ned’s part, to make Furlong believe that he had come from finer stock, while watching steadfastly over him, through the years. This was the man who had polished his shoes and tied the laces, who’d bought him his first razor and taught him how to shave. Why were the things that were closest so often the hardest to see?”
The page carried me to my Dad, his quiet way of doing the right and good thing and accepting — preferring — no recognition. I used to spring after the injustice of it: “…but they should know this is because of your kindness!” My Dad reads this blog and I must honor him here by not sharing specifics, but I have kept a watchful accounting of hundreds of instances in which he has wordlessly maneuvered some generosity or other, and then returned to his stations by the fireplace or at his office desk, his reading glasses on his nose, and folded open the paper or checked his email or tended to a bill, as if the preceding had never transpired. He puts it so far out of mind that he’ll be surprised if the matter’s brought up after: “oh, that?” The salt of the earth.
I was in turn reflecting on “acts of daily grace,” examining myself. It occurred to me that sometimes acts of daily grace are sabbatical — are tiny but intentional suppressions, absences, rests, “nots.” Not getting the last word. Not issuing the correction. Not having your way, your preference. Not passing judgement, publicly or privately. Not keeping score. The recipient will never know that you bit your tongue, that you accepted seconds, but you have in some small and meaningful way tamped down the bentgrass for them to pass through.
What are some acts of daily grace you’ve witnessed recently? (We publish the good news!)
Post-Scripts.
+Fortunately —
+Still a big fan of gentle start Mondays.
Shopping Break.
+Two items that keep coming up amongst fashion people I follow: Citizens Miro jeans (such a cool shape; more here; does anyone have these / have tips on fit/sizing?) and these “bean” necklaces (available in large and small sizes at Electric Picks, and in different colors at Heaven Mayhem here.
+Speaking of jewelry: tis the season for Dorsey. I have been wearing my riviere and statement earrings a lot already — plus my favorite cocktail ring.
+SEA really has my number this season. I am loving this intricate zippered cardigan, this embroidered dress, and these mittens. The latter feel like something you might give a lighthouse friend — joyful, cozy, warm.
+A great pair of cashmere lounge pants. I wore these to a spa day with my mom recently!
+We brought these magnetic blocks to a long holiday lunch with friends and they kept the kids entertained for a long time. My friend immediately ordered for her daughter! I put together a little curation of stocking stuffers for kids here. For some reason my kids are obsessed with tape so you’ll notice I over-index in that category – ha. Also, my mom always put things we needed in our stockings, like floss and erasers and toothpaste — so I follow suit!
+Two really cute finds at Anthro: these dog ornaments and this weekly planner pad. Related: reminder that we bundled the paper products from my collab with Mamey Design into cute little giftable sets. Orders over $50 ship free.
+CHIC short-sleeved sweater — reminds me of a style from Celine!
+Speaking of Celine-inspired…!
+I recently picked up this “glassy blow dry primer” and — !!!!!! It was the piece I was missing from my haircare lineup. The past two years, I’ve been dedicated to taking good care of my hair, and also to having it look “done” / blown out all the time, because I just feel better and more composed when it is. You know I love K18 and Crown Affair leave-in conditioner. Then I use this glassy primer for the BEST, bounciest, shiniest result.
+I received a package of this Swedish candy in a PR mailing and OMG. SO GOOD. I just ordered more. Would make a cute neighbor gift, too — the way they wrap it up is so charming! The large box would make a fun family gift, too.
+Love these Goyard-esque ornaments.
+Contemplating ordering a new phone wristlet.
+A trove of ultra-chic Toteme pieces on sale: these shearling-lined mules (never seen anything like these – so chic and unusual), this quilted scoat (scarf coat), these sneakers, and of course this t-lock clutch.
+We keep track of Advent a few ways in our home (we light an Advent wreath and sing “O Come O Come Emmanuel” every night after dinner and we have an advent calendar with little notes/surprises pinned to it), but my kids really love this simple “Advent/Christmas countdown” I found at Target a few years ago. It’s basically just a little piece of wood with 25 numbers along it and you move a little icon of Santa forward every day. I found similar here, here, here. I love the way this contributes the anticipation and it’s something simple little hands can do. It’s not too late to order; you can just start a few days in. For Advent wreath, I love this one from Etsy! How cute is this calendar?!
+Banana Republic just released their own triangle knit scarf in the best colors! More on this trend here.
+OK I’m obsessed with Self-Portrait’s latest collection, especially this, this, and this. Hitchcock heroine vibes!
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I have and love the Citizens Miro jeans in a dark wash! I also have them in a white chino fabric. I was able to try them on in person and tried 3 different sizes. I wanted tempted to size down but found that I liked the oversized feel/fit of my true size. They are baggy/big in the waist but this seemed more like the intended fit. I’m 5’4″ – long torso with short legs and these are full length on me. LOVE LOVE LOVE
Thank you SO much! Really helpful intel!! I think I’m going to try! xx
Love this ❤️
Thank you friend!
I also recently finished Small Things Like These and am eager to watch the movie. I’m curious to see how a book that relies so heavily on internal monologue will translate to the screen. Cillian Murphy always kills, though, so I’m sure it’ll be good.
OMG I somehow forgot it had been adapted! Just watched the trailer and will absolutely be watching. It has a different vibe than the book, or at least how I read it. It feels spicier, more rage-fueled in the trailer? But will still watch. Just hope it doesn’t sacrifice the quiet reflective beauty of the book in service of making the plot more dramatic?
xx
Silly question, do you need the Osso phone case to be able to attach the wristlet?
Not silly – yes, you do!
I’ve been wearing the Citizens Miro style for a few years now. I love the quality and rigid denim fabrication Citizens offers. Like most Citizens jeans, they run roomy. In this barrel style, I typically go down 1-2 sizes from my straight-leg denim size. As someone who is 5’ 7” with longer legs vs. torso, they are a bit cropped on me. They will likely be full-length for anyone who is 5’ 4” or under.
This is SO helpful! TYSM!!