Weekend Vibes
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Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 68: The One on Making Smalltalk.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: The Undereye Concealer.

In my eternal quest for a great undereye concealer, I’ve just started testing out YSL’s All Hours Concealer.  I am super impressed with its lightweight, non-caking formula.  It glides on and blends in super easily (very liquid-like), and it stays for awhile.  I think I’ll be sticking with this for a good long while now!

The Fashion Magpie YSL Concealer

You’re Sooooo Popular: The Sundress.

The most popular items on Le Blog this week:

+This voluminous (chic!) sundress.  (If they’re sold out in your size — this is similar and also amazing.)

+My favorite one-piece.

+An epic designer sale find!

+The sweetest sundress.

+A tanner with rave reviews.

+Super chic flutter wrap dress for $120.  (Wear with white supergas — on sale! — for a fresh look!)

+The dress I wore to Magpie book club!

#Turbothot: Making Smalltalk.

Are you ever at an event where you know no one, and your options are either to stare at your phone or strike up conversations with complete strangers?  Do you thrive in those environments, or is it your version of hell?  I can’t say I’m comfortable in them — the introvert in me would much prefer to be at home with my loved ones — but I don’t mind them as much as I used to, and for two reasons: a) I realized that most people hate to approach strangers in social settings, but don’t mind being approached — in fact, in all but one encounter that I can recall, I have been warmly included in a conversation I’ve butted into, and b) I have two secret weapons that tend to work well.  The first secret weapon is body language.  In business school, a “networking expert” encouraged Mr. Magpie and his classmates to think critically about their posture, the positioning of their feet, their facial expressions.  Instead of standing by a high-top table, belt inwards, she encouraged students to turn their bodies outward, toward the room of people, in a more open and inviting stance.  She told them to avoid crossing theirs arms — possibly the universal signal for “do not talk to me” — and looking down or off into the distance.  Instead, she encouraged them to smile and make eye contact.  I have found these tips helpful and effective — consciously assuming a more “inviting” posture tends to help me fall into conversation more easily, whether that’s because people see me as more approachable, or I feel more confident in approaching others.  My second secret weapon is my go-to question.  While Mr. Magpie’s networking expert insisted that anything can be a conversation starter — the color of someone’s shirt, the crowdedness of the room, the hors d’oeuvres, the smell of the candle, etc, etc — I am occasionally not quick-witted enough to make such observations in any kind of interesting way, so I usually fall back on this: “Excuse me – I don’t know anyone else here, so I just thought I’d come up and introduce myself — I’m Jen.”  People tend to take kindly to an earnest introduction and admission of out-of-place-ness.  But if all else fails, and I’m just standing alone in a crowded corner, I excuse myself to the restroom, touch up my makeup, and return to the room to stand in a different spot and start all over again.

Are other people simply better at mingling than I am?  Do others not need to rely on these tricks and strategies, I wonder?  Am I flat-out anti-social in needing to lean on these crutches?

Please share your thoughts and advice!  How do you make smalltalk?

#Shopaholic: 

+These would look incredible installed by our tufted headboard.

+I want to own this in all of the colorways available.

+Another contender for my birthday dress.

+A great dress for a trip somewhere on the water — somewhere nautical and preppy — the Hamptons, the Cape…

+I love the generous size of this straw bag.

+A great, well-priced sunhat.

+My go-to sandal for evenings out, on sale!

+I must have these for mini.

+These would look adorable with a white dress or white skinnies.

P.S. This post was hard for me to write.

 

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MK
MK
6 years ago

I usually feel quite similar in social settings — largely awkward! I don’t know if I would consider myself an introvert, because I love talking to people (and listening to their stories), but I find small talk challenging and sometimes even dread situations in which I’ll find myself alone without knowing anyone else. I’ve gotten better with age, but it’s still a challenge — your tips are much appreciated!

Gosh, that Self-Portrait dress! So beautiful! I would love to own a pair of Alexandre Birman Claritas … but I have a stockpile of similar-ish Loeffler Randall heels in various colors that serve the same purpose. Going to keep them in mind for when my LRs get too worn out.

Anne
Anne
6 years ago

Small talk is hard… I just joined a run club and found it so difficult to walk up to people an introduce myself! Hoping though that the more often you “put yourself out there” the easier it gets!

Also can you please check the link for makeup storage on best of ? In desperate need of storage solutions you mention drawers but the link looks like a zipped train case? ( I am also on the hunt for nice but not extortionate nightstands. Any ideas? Just purchased the blue runner you posted love.love.love such a zippy low investment piece) xx

Suzanne
Suzanne
6 years ago

Re: Small talk-yes, it sounds like we fall into the same camp—not entirely comfortable, but well practiced. Have you read “Quiet” by Susan Cain? If not, I would highly recommend it!

Mama, M.D.
6 years ago

We are actually the same person. I do the same in strange settings, finding that an earnest smile takes me pretty far.

Also: I published this one day early FOR YOU!! (I usually publish on Sundays 🙂 I couldn’t help myself, it seemed like the perfect “friend” to this post, and also I did promise you that if I ever had a blog I would do a comprehensive concealer review….

https://mamamd.gianninamd.com/2018/06/the-best-under-eye-concealer-in.html

Hope you like it 🙂

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