*Image via Nina Blanc.
My Latest Snag: Heart Sweater for Valentine’s Day.
I will be sharing some really cute Valentine’s Day finds for us and littles early next week, but had to share this $25 steal — so fun and I love the La Ligne-esque broad ribbed collar. I’ll pair with my favorite jeans and Nike Daybreaks (which I found on sale for under $60 here).
This Week’s Most Popular: Winter Finds.
01. SLEEPER JACKET — 20% OFF WITH CODE YOUROCK
02. IPHONE CASE
03. RIBBED METALLIC DRESS — ON SALE FOR UNDER $30
04. LITTLE ENGLISH WHIPSTITCH TRIM JACKET
06. MY FAVORITE SKINNIES – RUN TTS
08. OLAPLEX BOND SMOOTHER — MAKES FOR THE BEST (!) BLOWOUT AND REDUCES DRYING TIME
09. TKEES SANDALS — ON SALE FOR $33 + GO WITH EVERYTHING
10. SEA MAXI DRESS
11. HUNZA G ONE PIECE — A MAGPIE READER FAVORITE! — 20% OFF WITH CODE YOUROCK
12. BLACK STATEMENT ONE PIECE SWIMSUIT
14. BEAR SWEATSHIRT
15. GINGHAM JOGGERS
Weekend Musings: Let Them Be Wrong about You.
I had an interesting exchange with a Magpie earlier this week in response to my post on reducing the noise associated with petty frustrations. We were talking about the hurt and exasperation born of being underestimated/misunderstood/dismissed in a professional setting. I have not been in a traditional workplace for years now, but I do have experience with this in a slightly different modality. I have now worked in four different entrepreneurial/start-up settings, and there is something about entrepreneurial endeavors that invites unsolicited — though often well-intended — advice from…everyone. We called it “mentor whiplash” back in my start-up incubator days, and the general wisdom from the trenches was to “listen to all, accept little.” Approach it like data: if patterns in feedback emerge, there might be something interesting to pursue. If not, move on. But it was very difficult for me to sit still and quiet while accepting the Monday morning quarterbacking that I tended to receive from not only mentors but relatives, hair dressers, neighbors, customers, old friends. “Oh, you should have built on Ruby on Rails,” or “Why didn’t you start with a smartphone app?” or “You need to be partnering with x” or or or. I always bristled at the subtext; those comments implied that I had not known to contemplate such options. Truthfully, sometimes I had not. But often, I had. I would splutter in defense. “Oh, yeah, we tried that but –” and “Actually, Ruby doesn’t work well with –” Over time, I realized I was burning a lot of energy defending my “chops” as an entrepreneur to people who were more or less immaterial to the success of my work at the time. Opinions are free; everyone has them. You can spend your entire life battling them, swatting at them, disproving them. One day, I read the quote: “Let people be wrong about you. You have nothing to prove.” Something unlocked in me. I realized it was much better to keep my head down, put one foot in front of the other, conserve my energy for my actual work. I could either worry about what they thought of me, or I could worry about building something I believed in. I had to hope that the proof would be in the pudding.
It’s interesting, the way different aspects of my life have threaded together to yield analogous insights. As a writer, I have had to learn to be comfortable with being misread and misunderstood by my audience. I have to accept that once I publish something, it is no longer mine. It belongs to you, the reader, who will bring your own narrative and own experience to whatever I’ve put on the page. I just need to hope that (and continuously aim for improvement such that) my writing is clear enough to communicate some element of truth, or beauty, or longing, or what have you. So too in a pair of recent insights in the relationship realm: 1) not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry; and 2) you cannot control the reactions of others. The commonality across these creative, professional, and relationship insights: People will be wrong about you. Let them. Trust your intentions and hope that those will shine through.
Shopping Break.
+Kule is running a warehouse sale! My favorite striped tees (modern long — details/full review here) are included in the sale in some really fun colors. Mr. Magpie also loves their rugbys as an alternative to polos! (And how fun is this tote for a new boy mom?)
+It’s cold season — my children have been sleeping with a humidifier for the last few weeks to help with congestion/coughs. We have this one from Crane but I love the compactness and styling of this one from Canopy.
+A Magpie recently raved about these heavy-duty “morning tees” from Ayr and now I think I need one, oversized, for pairing with leggings while walking Tilly.
+PSSST – a little birdie told me that starting this morning at 10:30, Jane Win will be running an epic winter sale, with some pieces 50% off. Worth setting your clock for! A few of my favorites from that brand are here.
+Every woman needs a saucy black jumpsuit. (I have this one and am planning to wear to dinner next weekend!)
+This lady jacket/sweater hybrid is cute.
+Love this sophisticated lug soles.
+Hunza G, on sale for 50% off!
+Love the silhouette of these ecru jeans. (Pair with an off-white sweater!)
+Tempted by this CeliaB dress, marked down from almost $600 to $141.
+Adorable Minnow-esque swimsuit for a little love for $12.
+Love these throw pillows as a fresh update for your couch.
+We have begun talking about taking a trip to Disney with our children in 2024, and…do I need to buy some of the StoneyClover x Disney merch now in prep?!
+Speaking of Stoney Clover — get the look for less with these.
So much yes — letting people be wrong about you is part of the growing/adulthood journey, isn’t it? I learned this lesson a few years ago when I opened my own boutique indoor cycle studio (at the height of the soul cycle craze, before pelotons were in everyone’s home) and while I gained a strong following of members quickly, everyone had an opinion for me as to how I should grow the business. How to expand, when to have class times, instructors they liked and didn’t like, what the inside of the studio should look like, etc. I was still in my mid-20s at that time and most of these opinions came from middle aged women who’d been attending fitness classes in gyms for decades and couldn’t wait to pounce on a young female biz owner with their notes of how I should be owning & operating. It led to many changes that I regretted. I wish I had clung to my own intuition and not been so eager to please these clients. The fact that they were members of my tight-knit local community where everyone talks and word-of-mouth is everything really added pressure for me to acquiesce. In retrospect, I realized their opinions are entirely their own; those opinions didn’t belong to me, as you said, and were not mine to carry especially as these ladies were not business owners themselves nor educated in the world of indoor fitness studios. This a lesson I will carry with me for all of my future endeavors!
Hi Naomi – Wow, thank you for these candid and wise thoughts. I relate acutely. One issue I had a lot of trouble with was balancing the adage “the customer is always right” and the awareness that “everyone has an opinion.” It is really hard to know when to listen and when to act while honoring both of those truths! Anyhow, thank you for chiming in!
xx