I spent my first two nights away from mini last weekend while at a bachelorette party, and though I had a little trouble getting out the door (tears were involved…on my end, not hers), once I was nestled on the train in my window seat with my split of wine and my fully loaded Kindle (I read this from cover to cover and it was a grand, vapid escape), it was glorious, just as so many of you had said it would be. I had a wonderful time at the bachelorette reconnecting with old friends, sailing, eating crabs and oysters, and enjoying a healthy amount of sparkling wine, but I have to say I treasured the train trips themselves the most. When I’m at home and mini is napping or out of the house with her nanny, I am still in mom mode: I am filling the dishwasher, folding laundry, picking up toys, thinking ahead to dinner, wondering if the nanny remembered to apply sunscreen, uploading a picture to send to her grandparents, scheduling her next playdate, mapping out the rest of the day, texting the nanny, all while trying to focus on writing. On the train, on the other hand, I felt weightless and solitary in the loveliest of ways. I felt like there was nothing I could do even if I wanted to — I had to surrender my sense of responsibility to my very capable Mr. Magpie. As I sank into this odd feeling of independence, I realized I could do whatever I wanted without over-logisticizing or coordinating with Mr. Magpie. On a phone call the day I left, my mom had said: “Just think: it will be time for you to just be you.” I had hesitated over her comment — but aren’t I always me? — but I knew what she meant: it was an opportunity to be entirely selfish, answering to no one but myself. And it was divine. Of course, I was more than anxious to get home (I borderline sprinted the last block and I don’t think I stopped staring at her for the four hours between my return and her bedtime), but I’m so glad I made the effort. It wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I had anticipated, and I returned with a new sense of appreciation and vigor for being the best mom I can be.
Now I’ve just got to figure out how to get away for a weekend with Mr. Magpie, which is seeming increasingly unlikely given that we’ve just lost our nanny. (Sob. Sob. Sob. I will need to dedicate an entire post to the art of finding and retaining a nanny. Incidentally, if any of you readers in NYC have leads, please email me!) And so it looks like I will be a full-time stay at home mom for the near future, so forgive me if the posts are shorter than usual…!
Post-Script: Mini Gear on My Radar.
+Ordering the dress version of the linen outfit shown at the top of this post from chic line Les Gamins immediately — would look so cute with chunky cableknit tights in fall or with simple sandals and a huge bow right now.
+This dress is a fall must-have. While you’re there, check out the sale section — some further reductions happening! I must have this. Would also be a good idea to stock up on these in multiple colorways!
+I am swooning over this floral set from new-to-me eboutique Peggy Green!
+This darling fleece vest is on sale!
+Anyone else a fan of Native Shoes? Mini has been living in hers since we so frequently end up at one of Central Park’s many playgrounds with water features. Nordstrom has a couple of styles on sale!
+Also on sale: this DockATot. I did not have one for mini but I know people go insane over them and they never go on sale! I would snag this were I expecting.
+I got so many compliments on mini’s Donsje lamb booties, which she wore all last winter, and the same label has a couple of styles on sale: how cute are these bunny ones or these mouse ones?
+We’re in the midst of transitioning mini from her bottle (a little late I think, woops), and simultaneously disassociating her milk consumption from sleeptime (and instead serving it at mealtime). We found that the latter hasn’t been difficult at all, much to our surprise. We just took the bottle out of the sleeptime routine and gave her a bottle earlier, just after lunch/dinner, and she was entirely unphased. #WIN! The issue is when we give her milk in her sippy cups — she will not drink it! I think I am going to buy one of these 10 oz Nuk sippy cups because it looks entirely different from all of her other water cups (bigger, and with Pooh on it!) and only give her milk out of it. Then slowly we can swap in other sippy cups until she’s acclimated. Thoughts and advice?
+Mini is quickly outgrowing her 18-24 month pajamas, so I’m now beginning to stock up on 2T. (And BTW, this $17 pair of pajamas is one of my favorites for her right now — very well made, super soft, and so sweet in the stripes!) I’m considering these (love this brand — I brought mini home from the hospital in a supersoft newborn size pair from Kissy Kissy!), these (classic), these (also love love love this brand — the SOFTEST cotton I’ve ever felt), and these (is she really old enough?! wahh). I also might go ahead and scoop up a pair of these for her next birthday, when she’ll probably already be wearing a size 3…
We have been using that Nuk sippy as well, they are great. But we do a mix of sippy and bottles, whatever happens to be clean.
Good to know! Just arrived yesterday and though she loved the Pooh design, she was dubious. I’m guessing it will take awhile…
Dont stress over the bottle and milk too much. We didnt stop the bottle (just AM and PM–if I remember) until my son was 2! Then we took the opportunity to just stop it during a bedtime adjustment and it was fine. We switched to offering milk in a miracle 360 cup at those times though, and as we approach 3 we still do, except now he barely drinks it. Maybe a sip or two. He does ask for milk at other times though.
They transition easier than we think. We just moved him into a twin bed without any guards or anything last night and so far so good, even though last week when we floated the idea of a big kid bed to him he was resistant.
Thanks for the reassurance — and the tips. You are right! Always harder I think on me than on mini…
I flew out to California a day early to have some time to myself (Sri joins me tomorrow, and we’re here for 9 days without Rho). It felt naughty – like I’m not supposed to be doing this – but also so very necessary. I’m catching up on my favorite blogs right now, eating a flatbread, sipping water, and only doing what I want to do.
I think it’s vital that we take a beat to reconnect to who WE are – not as a mom, or a wife, or our career. I always come back better in all of my roles when I take this moment for myself.
Hi! That sounds divine. I think you’re absolutely right about being “better in all of my roles when I take a moment to myself.” I came back to mini with such renewed focus and energy. It also made me appreciate every little thing about her that much more.
xoxo
I know exactly how you feel about trains being “your” time–the first time I went back into the office after my son was born I took the train into the city and stopped by the deli for a BEC and an iced coffee for the ride. It was such a relaxing experience, even though it was the LIRR at rush hour!
Totally get it! It’s like — I literally cannot do anything even if I wanted to…I’m in a fast-moving vehicle from which I cannot get off or easily reverse course. SO, I need to sit and enjoy this quiet time! xo