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Last week, I came across a fascinating Reddit thread (represented here on Instagram) asking: “What is something that seems innocent but is actually pretty intimate?” The responses were stirring, especially: “For the first real haircut I got after lockdown eased, the barber gently unlooped my mask from my ear. Shockingly intimate. Sorta took my breath away for a second.” This dredged up a memory I’d forgotten: my first manicure after lockdown. I was so moved by this complete stranger massaging my hands, by the incredible humanity of it: a shocking thaw after so many months of isolation.
What about you? Have you had any moments of unexpected connection with a stranger like this?
I’m thinking specifically of a poem by Danusha Laméris, titled “Small Kindnesses“:
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead — you first,” “I like your hat.”
A few of the gorgeous examples our Magpies on Instagram shared when I asked this question last week:
“Catching someone’s eye across a room and knowing you’re thinking the same thing.”
“When the subway is too crowded for you to hold onto anything and a stranger gently stands firmly to protect you from falling when the car stops.”
“Watching someone eat. People always look so vulnerable to me when they’re eating?”
“When someone helps you take off your coat.”
“Seeing someone’s handwriting for the first time.”
“I am a PA and see women for their annual exams. Sometimes I help older women with stiff joins unhook their bras for the exam. I wonder how intimate it feels to them for me to assist?
The PA example…! Wow. A few additional ones that came to mind for me:
+When a complete stranger advocates for you in some minor skirmish — “m’am, she was just trying to get through,” or “hey hey hey! hold the door for her!” or rolls her eyes to demonstrate solidarity (“what is he thinking?!?”).
+Standing behind someone at the grocery till — seeing everything they’re purchasing. Like, wow, what are you making with eight pomegranates? And I guess you’re lactose intolerant!
+Helping someone collect items they’ve dropped or spilled — it feels so human! On your knees, collecting an armload of things you’ve clumsily dropped? They’re such a humility to it.
+Glancing at what your neighbor is watching or reading on an airplane. There is nothing more charming to me than someone serious-looking binge-watching “Say Yes to the Dress.”
+Having your hair shampooed by someone else before a haircut.
+When someone gets something down for your from a high shelf. This happens about 50% of the time I’m in the grocery. (I’m 5’0.) Men and women alike have rescued me as I’ve been scaling the shelves, resting my feet on some shelf that probably can’t actually hold my weight. It feels so tender — some sort of shared recognition of my own limits? I physically can’t get this – I need help! Plus, having someone hand you the bottle of olive oil, or box of snack packs that you obviously can’t leave the store without feels weirdly confessional.
What about you?
Post-Scripts.
+Green flags — the opposite of triggers.
+A October (and November, and December…) reminder.
+Reflections on one of my favorite Christmas hymns.
Shopping Break.
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Most of my shopping picks arrived in this morning’s guide to the rarest and deepest Black Friday deals, but a few additional finds:
+Charming under-$100 lady jacket in the cheeriest red.
+My son loves this interactive shoe-lace-tying book — there is one in his classroom and we just ordered one for home, too!
+I just ordered these gift tags and these gift card holders from Sarah Tucker’s collab with Joy Creative Shop. So adorable! Code MAGPIE10 gets you 10% off. I’m especially excited about the gift card holders. I usually give the teachers in my children’s school gift cards, and then bundle with something small and usually edible.
+These long-sleeved ribbed crewnecks look divine.
+Picked up this Kule tee and a few socks for Mr. Magpie. (These were already on sale, but the entire site is 30% off with EARLY30.)
+I also ordered a few items from Quince this week: my favorite sweater but in brown now (already own in the cream), and a cashmere sweatsuit for Mr. Magpie (this and this, in charcoal gray). I also like their cashmere hoodies for men — very handsome.
The handwriting example! So true. Here’s my entry- my old PT once needed to work on one of my feet. I was lying on the table and he just grabbed me by both ankles to move me down a few more inches so he could have access and omg my heart went ?!?!?!?!.