2026 is a stone’s throw away! I am manifesting a good and giving year for us all, channeling the energy in Gayle Brandeis’ poem below: just think about all the good things currently in chrysalis that will come to us —
Now, republishing three cleansing exercises I share each year to draw out that fresh-slate, blank-page energy:
The Paths of Desire Exercise.
A few years ago, my sister and her wife introduced me to the concept of “paths of desire.” Have you ever noticed a well-trampled path through grass even when a sidewalk is not far off? As in — people just naturally want to walk this one way through this one area, and will trod through grass rather than walk on the paved bit because it feels more natural, expeditious, etc? My sister was saying the same principle holds true in organizing and shaping our homes: if we are constantly frustrated by the pile of shoes at the door, why not put the shoe bin or rack there versus spend some portion of every day moving your children’s shoes to their other destination elsewhere in the house? Or if there is a constant clutter of keys and mail on a certain table that feels like a visual eyesore to you, why not find a decorative bowl or bin to place right there, as you are naturally inclined to drop those items in that particular spot? Or you’re constantly looking for a place to put your tea mug while in the living room — maybe you need a small cocktail table?
The idea is working with the grain versus against it in order to accommodate our “paths of desire.”
My prompt for you: what areas of your home give you “background noise anxiety”? Is there a more aesthetic solution you could install right in that spot that accommodates your natural inclination to place specific items there? (This might mean moving a laundry bin, finding a pretty paper box to corral “kitchen papers,” purchasing a larger charging station so you can simultaneously charge more technology in one place.)
I have a big path of desire fix in mind for 2026: I would really like to redo the counters and backsplash in our kitchen. We’ve been loathe to undertake this as the kitchen is lovely and we felt gluttonous making a purely aesthetic change, but eventually, we realized that the counters were also a routine functional frustration: we find it difficult to see crumbs and even ingredients against the current granite pattern, and it drives us insane. (The straw that broke the camel’s back: I actually didn’t see a cut lime on my countertop! It just blended into the visual noise.)
Suleika’s Five Lists Prompt.
Importing this lovely set of lists wholesale from the brilliant Suleika. Timebox yourself — give yourself two minutes on the timer to jot down the first things that come to mind so that this isn’t over-precious or over-wrought. I found this exercise deeply rewarding. It surfaced worries, and longings, that I hadn’t even known laid just beneath the epilimnion. I was shocked, at how quickly the answers materialized on the page. Turns out I have a lot to be proud of, and a lot to rely on, and a lot that I’m hoping to accomplish. Onward!
01. What in the last year are you proud of?
02. What did this year leave you yearning for?
03. What’s causing you anxiety?
04. What resources, skills, and practices can you rely on in the coming year?
05. What are your wildest, most harebrained ideas and dreams?
The Petty Frustration Exercise.
I wrote about this a few years ago and find it helpful to trot out every January:
“Sit down for a second and think through your day, hour by hour. What petty frustrations bother you over and over again? Small things like coffee consistently not being hot, or phone running out of battery by 4 p.m., or having to prep your children’s lunch at 10 p.m when you’re ready for bed, or having a charger that is too short for you to use your phone in your bed. Write them out. Then, devise solutions for each. I think you will be surprised at how small grievances can pile up and create a kind of background “noise” that no one needs, and that many of these petty frustrations can be addressed rather simply.”
I shared my own list along with possible solutions a few years ago here, if you’re looking for an example of the kinds of things we can workshop.
What else are you doing to get into a good headspace for 2025?
Post-Scripts.
+2025 has been the year of the fox for us. Curious what animal will be my avatar in 2026!
+Other things this year has been.
+I’m not really big on resolutions, but this is something very specific I tried to do in 2025, and I hope to continue to carry this into the new year.
Shopping Break.
+My quarterly reminder that this hair perfume is one of my favorite little luxuries. I love it for second-day hair, or for anytime you get “restaurant hair” while eating out.
+Gorgeous brushed cashmere hoodie.
+A true everyday earring. I own and love these — can even sleep with them on.
+A little lid shimmer for NYE.
+Great toy to pack for restaurants, waiting rooms, car or plane travel.
+WOW – love this suede chore jacket (under $200). For the kids: the cutest iridescent puffer jacket for under $90.
+Epic ME+EM sale, including this gorgeous knit maxi dress and this chic midi. I own the latter in the black and the photos online don’t do it justice — it’s a real statement IRL with that bold brown topstitching. Also adore this denim midi.
+I absolutely love this linen/room spray. I spritz it on fresh laundry, in the guest bedroom, even in the laundry baskets themselves. Smells divine.
+Love the style of these APLs.
+My friend wore these pants in burgundy to a holiday party and WOW. The fit was 10/10.
+Just discovered these Negative-look-for-less “whipped” tops on a Reddit thread! A few Redditors said they’re very similar to the Negative brand in terms of handfeel.
+Spectacular for a black tie event.
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Happy new year! Inspired by your post, I did Suleika Jaouad’s Five Lists while on the train several days ago. I found it incredibly cathartic and it’s given me the itch to write again (outside of all the writing I do for work…!). I’ve enjoyed reading your blog the past year and I am looking forward to another year of thoughtful (and stylish!) posts.
Thank you so much!! I’m so thrilled to hear this! I found those prompts very generative and illuminating, too.
xx
My uncle gifted everyone with the 5 minute journal for Christmas with the intention we use it the entire year and, at the end of 2025 look back to see if we’ve changed/what we wrote etc. I like the idea that we’re all going to use them, I could be writing at mine the same time my cousin is many states over. In addition to being a good habit to pick up it makes me feel more connected to family I don’t see as frequently as I would like.
On a more minute level, being better about the grocery list! How is it that there always seems to be something I’ve left off, I assume in the rush to write said list and get out the door I skim more than read a recipe and so forget the bell pepper or the heavy cream or the insert very necessary item. That and finally hanging a little basket by the front door for keys/mail/gloves/chapstick that collects in a little dish on my counter, but that ruins the line of the counter and annoys me every day.
I relate to the grocery list!! I am trying in general to be better about that specific scenario, where I’m sprinting off to do something and that’s making me scramble to grab what I need. Trying to slow down and just take an extra minute or two to make sure I have everything I need.
The kitchen papers! Why does this bother me so much? As soon as the pile is cleaned up, a new one appears in its place. It specifically came to mind as I was thinking about your resolution to live more loosely. I love the idea, and yet, it’s hard for me. I have trouble focusing because I am distracted by the visual clutter. Going to think more about a solution. All ideas welcome! Wishing you a very happy new year, Jen!
I feel this, Danielle!! From time to time I get organized with using clear document-sized folders to keep the kitchen paper sorted, but then it just means I have a task of sorting through carefully every few days/weeks, which isn’t great – just deferring the problem, but it’s a little more aesthetically pleasing…
Will be thinking on this!