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This week hung between two ill-paired tent poles: the joy of escaping to Tulum with friends followed by some bad news back home (all will be fine – will write more when on firmer ground). I found myself leaning, the latter portion of this week, on the tonic of “taking care of myself as though sick.” Specifically, I let myself off the hook in various ways. If I didn’t have the energy to tackle something on my to-do list, or to squeeze in another work out, I didn’t push it. I had lots of high-falutin’ ideas on the work and motherhood fronts this week (specifically around meal planning for my children) and instead of road-runnering into action as I normally do, I told myself: “Now is not the time to dive head-first into this” and jotted down my thoughts on paper, making a mental note to revisit in a week. And you know what? It felt kind of nice to cocoon myself so I could move more slowly through my week, and give myself time to think, and process, and talk to Mr. Magpie, and sit in front of the television in the evenings watching re-runs of “Parks and Rec.”
Funny, too: earlier this week, before we’d heard the news, I had two separate conversations with friends navigating their own turbulent waters, and I’d found myself saying: “Multiple things can be true at once; let yourself feel it all; no feeling is final,” and my God! Did I need to repeat those things to myself just a few days later. The earlier conversations were earnest, of course, but in retrospect, also stood as rehearsals for how I’d need to speak with myself. Do you ever think like that? That life is preparing you for something? Or that God is giving us now what we’ll need later — filling the backpack with requisite supplies?
The base note to which I returned many times this week, though, was: “Focus on what you can control.” It is so easy to get swept up in “what ifs” and contingencies and regrets of various shades! I found it easier to wade through my emotions by anchoring on what I, specifically, could do at a given moment.
I saw an offshoot of this principle on Instagram this week that went something like: “How people treat you is their path; how you respond is your power.” This didn’t specifically apply to my situation, but I loved the sentiment and know I will be pocketing it for the future.
Other random little things from this week:
+My daughter and I got a huge kick out of this Taylor Swift-themed list of Super Bowl snacks. Ever since, we’ve been challenging ourselves to come up with other cute names from her song list. She came up with: “Look What You Made Me Stew.” Pretty clever for a six year old?!
+Target launched a special collab with Rifle Paper this morning, and I’m living for the lighting in particular, but those little bug prints are beyond cute, too.
PRINTS // WALL SCONCE // PLANTER // DECORATIVE BOXES // PLEATED LAMP // RAFFIA LAMP
+I cooked for Mr. Magpie again (!) — two weeks in a row! This time, I made him a hanger steak with an arugula-Calabrian chile pepper-onion relish and potatoes served with mint and feta. All recipes hailed, again, from Missy Robbins’ cookbook. I definitely have a style when I’m at the helm of the menu-planning committee, and it looks a lot like what Missy Robbins and Paul Kahan serve up: a meat with some kind of vinegary-salty relish; a side with the same. I fetched the ingredients on my way back from a session at the gym in which my trainer had me doing bicep curls like a true jock. (I feel like such an imposter!) But it’s also the most divine thing to follow someone else’s (educated) instruction — zero resistance and zero decision-making — like an automaton. I swear that’s a principle appeal of the arrangement: an hour in which I make no decisions and yet am so focused my mind has no space to worry, wander, think about the other 22 items on my to-do list.
+Related to the gym session note: I have fallen increasingly in love with Nike’s Metcon training sneakers. They offer the best cushion, and come in the greatest color combos. My exact colorway is on sale, but just look at all these punchy combos that just arrived.
+This week, I re-read this post on self-compassion, and I loved some of the mantras you shared in this regard:
“Now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
“What you got done today was enough.”
“God has forgiven me so I can forgive me, too.”
“Will this matter in five minutes? Five days? Five years?”
And — just for good measure, a little humor: “No one likes perfect people anyway.”
(Ha!)
+This little Sezane coin purse is the perfect size for carrying a minimal amount of jewelry while traveling. Could not recommend more. Small enough to keep on your person at all times, too, in case you aren’t comfortable leaving in your room. I traveled with only these Aureum studs, Madewell wavy hoops (exact style sold out, similar here), and my Dorsey Clemence.
+More travel memoranda: this Amazon cosmetics case was incredible — packs a lot and you can quickly find what you are looking for! I can’t believe it’s only $20. I also followed the Magpie reader hack of decanting serums into contact lens cases — worked like a charm! Totally leak-free and perfect for small amounts. And, of course, a full-size Cocofloss because I’m never without it. More great Magpie skincare travel strategies here in the comments. I’m wearing, of course, my Lake heart jammies. You can still order from their Valentine’s collection in time for V-Day! I will say, though, that Negative Underwear takes the cake for clever heart day marketing. I laughed at the headings: “Stuff to Watch Rom Coms In: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to buy her a Whipped set” and “Gifts to Self “Awww, you shouldn’t have.”-Me to me.” I will say everything from that whipped collection is beyond divine. The softest, stretchiest, dreamiest fabric.
+Mentally, I’m still at the beach club drinking pina coladas and/or looking out on the water at the Mayan ruins.
+Physically, I’m sitting at my desk, eating a bag of candy salad. (Have you heard about this TikTok phenomenon?)
+We had a lot of “STPs” this week. I’ve shared this in the past, but Mr. Magpie and I have informal meetings after the kids are down where we run through “STPs” or “Shoop Talking Points.” This is purely on an as-needed basis, and sometimes we will go a week without any at all. But the general gist is that we sit down with a note pad or iPhone note spilling over with items we need to discuss — logistics for the weekend, insurance claim updates, plans for mini’s seventh (?!) birthday, which gifts to send whom, etc., and work through them, item by item, assigning tasks to one another. The practice is hangover from running a business together: more efficient to tackle a suite of action items in one focused strategy session versus splintering them via text or quick pit-stops throughout the day. I know some of you have adapted the practice to your own lives, and that tickles me. Anyhow, this week we had a lot of STP sessions, which seemed like a signal that we have a lot going on in our lives right now — possibly too much. We could probably chart the stress-level of our lives via a heat map of STP sessions.
+I can’t quite string the logic together here, but when I was feeling underwater earlier this week, I found myself drawn like a moth to a flame to the Instagram food creator Hannah Taylor. Have you seen her? There is something about her that brings instant calm: everything is going to be just fine. Strip away what’s on your mind, have fun with life, eat a biscuit, why was I worried again? She has a beautiful, vivacious presence and is absolutely magnetic on camera. There is also a hilarious side-conversation about her loving interactions with her husband in many of the comments that I have enjoyed reading. (Watch this video / read the comments to see what I mean. The way he looks at her!!!)
+I was so, so excited about this PR package. Roz’s volumizing root spray (15% off with MAGPIE15) and T3’s Airebrush. Impressed with both — the airebrush is a higher-powered Revlon 1-Step, with more settings (including a cool air one). I am still very close to buying the AirWrap, though. I mentioned this a day or two ago, but several ladies on the trip were raving about it / saying that they couldn’t live without it / even packing it in their carry-ons because they considered it the most valuable part of their luggage. Not that it matters, but they did come out with a cute version in limited edition colors.
+OK, the Velvet Brylies arrived (wearing in photo at the top of this post as well as beneath) and I am obsessed. The perfect way to get in on the horseshoe trend without going whole…hoof? It’s a more tapered/tailored shape that is perfect for fellow petites. I’m going to take more full body shots this week so you can see how they look. Take your true size. These are goooood. I styled with my Ferazia blazer (truly one of my most worn wardrobe pieces this winter — snap it up while on super sale!), this Sezane top, and originally my Celine phone sling but swapped out for my bigger APC Grace bag (on sale for under $400!!) when meeting up with a girlfriend for lunch and then picking up my children from a half day at school. The APC Grace small bag is big enough to fit my Kindle, which was requisite because I have not been able to pass a spare moment without reaching for Demon Copperhead. Magpies, you advised me on this book for months and months, and reader, you were right. I am 70% done at the time of writing this little missive and it is easily the best book I’ve read since Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tom Lake. I can’t wait to talk all about it in an upcoming post.
+I felt like my outfit needed a pop of color so I added these bright red flats for some punch. You can’t see them in these two photos, but at the top photo, you can also see I’m still wearing my gold knot earrings from Aureum allll the time. I love the vintage 80s vibe? They are super lightweight, though. The team sent me a code: 20% off with code JENS20.
+OK, Magpies. That’s all we have this week. Take care of yourself, friends — take a break if you need to, watch some Hannah Taylor, enjoy some candy salad. Tread softly!
P.S.
I hope you’re able to take care of yourself in small ways this week! I was reminded recently to put on my own oxygen mask (not easy with a toddler and a newborn) but I got a haircut this weekend, which would’ve been unimaginable when my son was two months old. My daughter is in many ways an « easy » baby (as much as I dislike that term), but nothing about parenting small children is restful. Joyful, rapturous, but not restful. I often come last, and my husband is the same, and now 2 years into parenting we’re faced with the fact that we need to tend to ourselves and find a balance, rather than push through the next decades.
To that end, do I need something from Aureum? I remember when everyone whose fashion I follow was suddenly in Dorsey, and this week that’s happened with those same earrings, I wear mostly silver jewelry but I love that they list the weights of the earrings! I don’t know why that’s not standard.
“Joyful, rapturous, but not restful.” Amen to this snapshot of parenting. I’m glad you’re finding ways to take care of yourselves.
I do love Aureum! They sent me a pair of knot gold studs that I’ve been wearing on repeat. Strongly recommend. I love how lightweight they are — but they also have a vintage vibe. Perfect.
xx
Hi Jen! Where did you guys stay in Tulum? I need a vacation so badly, and Tulum has been on my list, especially swimming in a cenote. As soon as I can get away from work…
Hi Julie! We stayed in an AirBnB that my friend’s husband coordinated. There are LOTS of properties in development there! I would start there and filter by what you’re looking for!
xx
Thanks! Looks like it was a fun trip.
Of course! xx
Obsessed with the Rifle Paper Co. x Target collab. Wish I had a reason and budget to redecorate a whole room with that furniture! I did snag some of their decorative boxes (trying to get on top of storage this year…) and taper candles for a dining room centerpiece. I also have a three pack of their notebooks on their way to me – they, as you say, spark so much joy.
Chic chic!! SO fun! Love the storage boxes.
xx
I love this. I am not sure how often you’ve read my dms over the years in my own insanity these past 4 years or our small world connections. Your statements and lines, taking care of yourself, cocooning yourself, letting yourself feel it all, and how you respond is your power…all so powerful and I couldn’t have said it better myself! Somehow your blog and words are always so validating to me and where I’ve been and where I am in this space in my life since 2017 when I started reading your blog…maybe 2015/16 but reallt since 2017 Onward. You’ve got this Jen and your blog for me sparks Joy, validates my life, and is very well done and on point!! All the best and keep warm, carry on with gentleness, and know you’re going to be ok even if it’s not ok and to feel it all!!! Hugs
Ah, Michelle – thank you so much for the generous and encouraging note! I am SO thrilled that my writing has meant something to you. Thank you for taking the time to let me know. I’m routinely struck by how many of us are going through the same thing, or versions of the same thing, and yet we feel so marooned! Feels wonderful to connect with other women thinking, processing, experience what I am at the same time.
xx