Scattershot —

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A potpourri of thoughts and musings today…

+Are all of your friends around your age? I came across this quote in Leslie’s newsletter this week (from a reader of hers): “A friend once told me she had a goal to have a friend in every decade because everyone shares such a different experience of life in conversation.” I reflected for a minute and realized, outside of my mother and my youngest sister, I don’t have any female friends a decade older or younger than I am. Clearly, I’m missing out! What about you? How did you / do you make friends with women outside of your immediate age bracket?

+We kicked off the design of our formal living room with our interior designer, Kelley Proxmire, this week. I love the fabrics we selected (seen above). We’re basing the room around the rug seen above, which Mr. Magpie and I found at Jayson Home in Chicago several years ago. (BTW: Jayson Home is currently running an insane sale, with an extra 20% off sale prices — don’t miss this gorgeous table, these bar stools, these Staffordshire dogs for book case styling.) The room will have formal seating for receiving guests and enjoying cocktails, and a little game table tucked into the corner so Mr. Magpie and I can enjoy our game hours in style. (We have been very into Duel lately.)

+Some more recent-ish home finds here.

+Listening to Rhye’s album “Woman” on repeat. It’s over ten years old, but feels modern to me. Major Sade vibes; good beats for a low key work session.

+I just finished listening to Nancy Meyers’ interview on Ben Mankiewicz’s brand new podcast, “Talking Pictures.” I found Mankiewicz a little off-putting at first — the opener felt self-aggrandizing, and he occasionally talks over (and corrects!) Meyers, betes noires* of mine. I couldn’t tell whether these gaffes were the result of nervous energy or the speed bumps of starting anything new (it is the first episode of the podcast). Anyhow, one interesting part of the conversation: Meyers talks about the phenomena of “who almost played a character” in Hollywood, and how wild it is to imagine one celebrity filling in for a role that made another’s career. I love that game, too. Did you know, for example, Kim Basinger declined the role of Annie in “Sleepless in Seattle” before Meg Ryan was cast in it?! And can you imagine a world without Meg Ryan in that movie?

+Re: bete noire — a Magpie reader used this in a comment on one of this week’s posts and I could not wait to use it myself! I’d not heard the phrase in years. A bete noire is “a person or thing that one particularly dislikes.” Another source defined it as “anathema,” which of course brought to mind the charming Stanley Tucci; I think he used the word 323 times (exaggerating) in his memoir, which I cherished. The New Yorker described Tucci as “trim, gently muscled, bespectacled, a little arch, a little icy” in an article on his memoir a few years ago, and I’ve never forgotten the portraiture. “A little arch, a little icy” — ha! And yet the description does not quite capture what a charming companion he is in audiobook form.

+Re: Stanley Tucci. Have you seen this TikToker’s impersonation? It is spot on!

+Re: Nancy Meyers. There are two really fun Meyers-inspired playlists to put on the next time you’re in a cooking mood: this one from Jess Nell Graves and this one from Michael Bernardini.

+I’ve heard SUCH good things about this well-priced cleanser, but it’s been sold out forever. Just got an alert that it was restocked this week and checked out immediately. Cannot wait to test. Description: “This skin-softening, humectant-rich glycerin cleanser effectively removes makeup, excess oil, and impurities while maintaining skin’s natural moisture barrier and pH.”

+Can’t stop thinking about this ethereal / vintage-looking dress ever since I saw it on Tara Moni.

+I shared this brief poem by Jane Hirshfield on Instagram this week. I love its pithy multivalence. Is it apology? A public performance of something intimate? A gesture to the porousness of memory?

+Really want to try this under-eye-brightening product from Trish McEvoy. It’s their bestselling product!

+Yamazaki Home has such chic, minimalist home storage solutions. This double decker drying rack is brilliant for a smaller kitchen, and I love the look of this cutting board organizer. On the subject of home organization: just ordered these to better organize the kids’ snack section of our pantry.

+My Sister Made Me Buy It shared this buckeye crunch popcorn situation and I need to try it.

+Grateful to a reader who shared this infographic on progress in response to my thoughts on my son’s speech therapy journey. So true, isn’t it? There are no straight lines in nature…

+This past fall, I bought a heavy-duty denim overshirt similar to this and I love it! So versatile and unexpected (for me). Especially love styling it with white, ecru, or black denim. It’s a bit out of my personal style comfort zone (slightly edgier / more androgynous?) but I’ve loved having it.

+A chic outfit comprised of pieces all $110 and under: Adidas sneaks, Gap jeans, Leset Margo tee, Gap cardigan, Target tote.

P.S. Wardrobe basics and chic sneaks.

P.P.S. On female friendships and the things that matter.

P.P.P.S. Something hallowed and holy.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.

10 thoughts on “Scattershot —

  1. I’m lucky to have a few older friends! When I lived in Austin all my friends were 10-20 years older. Now in Monaco they’re either about my age or 10 years older, but we all have young kids, so we’re in the same life stage. I’m grateful for the women 20-30 years older who run our baby group; they all met in the same group several decades ago, and keep it going. It’s the very best thing to be with other young parents (and speak English!) with no pressure. I read an essay this week about the playground as a « third place » that facilitates friendships in the manner of a college dorm…the potential for familiarity, for low-pressure unplanned hangs, and baby group has been that for me. I’m also trying to make sure I have francophone friends, not just anglophones, even though the initial going is so much easier in English. My one french friend in her late 40s has a baby just days older than mine…she used to be my manicurist, and we were both hoping desperately for babies, and fell pregnant at the exact same time.

    Funnily enough, my style is usually quite androgynous and I see your ladylike styles as something I aspire to outside of my comfort zone! The women in my family uniformly do not wear makeup (my nana’s skin looks fantastic at 93) and prefer no-nonsense basics in solid neutrals, which is quite a difference from my husband’s family and their high femme daily routines.

    1. I love the concept of the playground as a “third place” — makes complete sense! I actually feel that way about the closest-in streets and specifically the cul de sac we live on now. Just walking out there, I often run in to neighbors walking their dogs, moms with kids my age chasing their kids on bikes, etc. It’s a really nice way to have a lowkey and unplanned social interaction that feels like it has…meaning? roots? because I encounter these people every week.

      Anyway – thanks for the food for thought!


  2. I made many older friends through my church and by joining my ministry of consolation. Also have met younger and older people through my library’s book club! Definitely recommend it! It’s fun to share your life experiences with those younger and older.

    1. I, too, have met people of different ages at church! I’ve been participating in the women’s Bible studies for the last three years or so. Also, through volunteering at my local historic society museum – admittedly this is not a good place to meet younger friends! But I have met a lot of retirement-age friends there 🙂

    2. Love these ideas – thank you! Would also imagine there are a lot of shared values in those two spaces — interesting!


  3. I also thought this commentary on friendship in Leslie’s newsletter was interesting! My first instinct was to say I don’t have any friends outside of within 3-5 years of my age. But I do have close relationships with some family friends, parents of my friends, and friends of my parents’ from their childhoods/college, etc, so maybe? I would and have met up with these people on my own so I guess that is kind of a friendship! It’s not the same kind of relationship I have with my peers but these are really meaningful relationships to me and they bring me a lot of joy and I feel like I always learn something interesting when I spend time with them.

    On another note, I love Yamazaki Home! We have a clothing drying rack and a coat stand from there that are just A+.

    1. I would classify those relationships as friendships! The bar for me is – do you hang out with them independently?

      Yes, Yamazaki Home gear is SO good!


  4. Re friends of every decade: Yes, I am thankful and happy to say I do. In fact my partner is attending a birthday party of good friends of ours and her husband is 81ish I think. We met some of our dear friends in our community at a first Fri shortly after my partner moved back. It’s not a town or a city. Unincorporated WASP territory imho which one of the Supreme Court judges hailed from…and another dear friend of mine is also 80ish. She went to Africa last fall. My besties are respectfully a year older and 6 years older (male). My own partner is 16 years older. I learned not to date men my age, they’re really emotionally immature IMHO. And many of my friends are in fact slightly older or a decade younger….because I blend well….perhaps being raised by Baby Boomers and being an only-child growing up amongst adults and being an extrovert helps shape all of this. So I recommend stepping outside one’s comfort zone, because that is when lofe begins. So cliche. Que Sera Sera.

    Love the info re Tucci and Meyers!!

    Always an inspiration Jen!

    1. I’m envious of your age-diverse friend group! This conversation has really made me think. Thanks for sharing!


Previous Article

Next Article