You know when you share a house with a group of friends, and there is always one person who leads the charge on cleaning up? That’s someone to hang onto. Not because you’ll benefit from their generosity, but because those are the people who care. Those are people who see a problem and fix it, who leave a room a little nicer than when they entered it, who live their lives with such a high degree of integrity that you never have to wonder after their intentions. Those are the people who teach you to hold yourself to a higher standard: a whetstone for character.
I was thinking of this prototype earlier this month when I noticed a man stop to pick up two stray pieces of litter on the street and deposit them into the nearest trash bin. I thought: he must be held closely by his loved ones.
Other people to draw close:
Vulnerable conversationalists. / Those with no agenda. / People who receive you as you are. / The ones who begin a lot of their sentences with “should we…?” or “what if…?” / The wildly curious. / People who remember details about you. / Hype girls. / The ones who pause a conversation to ask: “Were you going to say something?” / The patient — those who say “no rush” and actually mean it, and who will wait, with no sign of agitation, for you to finish signing the check, or tie your shoe, or inside-out your jacket. / People who are gentle with animals. / The ones who clear a table or load a dishwasher without being asked. / People who make anyone — from the shrinking violet to the Miniver Cheevy — feel seen and special and capable of great comedy.
Post-Scripts.
+Related: the people who keep the lamps lit.
+Don’t eat the caesar salad, or remembrances of my grandfather.
+Image via.
Shopping Break.
+A CHOICE sale section at AYR right now: this chic button-down (obsessed with the copy: “This shirt was a banker on Wall Street until she cashed out and started a new career as a florist on Nantucket. Spends her days lounging on weather-worn furniture, drinking expensive wine and smelling like fresh peonies” — LOL), this striped scoopneck in either (both!) colors, a great basic tank, this silky cotton white dress, which reminds me of a style from Jenni Kayne (orig $395, now $158?!) and is perfect for a soft summer.
+Lake’s sale is also SO good — my two few recs are this long-short set (my all-time favorite and most-worn of their silhouette; I probably have five pairs, and wear year-round), this lightweight robe, which is a lovely soft thin pima cotton, perfect for applying skincare and blow-drying hair because it’s not too heavy/hot, and the comfiest, swingiest, softest Relax Set. (If I am in need of serious self-care, I wear this set. It always strikes me as what I’d want to wear if recovering from something.)
+Sail to Sable just discounted a bunch of its gorgeous caftans to under $100 — I own this one in pink, but the navy is so crisp! I took an XXS in mine (I am normally an XS) and find the fit fantastic, so I’d consider going down a size in this style. It runs a tad long on me; I have to wear with a slight heel. And get this – they just gave us a coupon code (JEN15) and it works on the sale price, bringing it down to like $85! (This tunic top is also really cute.)
+J. Crew’s collab with Rouje is so fetching! I love this short sleeved cardigan with this dress! This floral is also charming! While you’re there, check out the kids sale section. My son loves the CrewCuts performance polos and I got him this navy striped one for $10!
+Currently wearing these jeans. They are THE PERFECT WASH – exactly what I want right now; play perfectly with pastels or with navy/white, and will look fabulous with a fall color palette, too. I cut the hems myself and love (!) the fit; you can see me in them here. They remind me of Veronica Beard’s Taylor jeans but much less expensive and the denim is a touch less rigid. Go up a size in these. You will loveeeee! Will be on heavy repeat for me.
+Using and LOVING this new eye serum. It contains niacinamide, which I have been finding very effective on my skin this summer; I have been using these pads or this Glow Recipe serum as an extra step in my daily skincare routine since May or so. Someone described niacinamide as “a magic eraser for dark spots” and I am finding it to be true – the most effective ingredient I’ve found for hyperpigmentation. Anyway, I’m bought in on the ingredient so was excited this new serum includes it, and I love the rollerball applicator! So refreshing during the summer.
+I had my hair and makeup done by Glamsquad this week (my codes are still valid: JENNIFERS for $25 off your first appointment; JENNIFERS15 for $15 off your next Glamsquad appointment) and was reminded that I often see the stylists toting their gear in these Hulken bags on wheels. It must be the industry standard? I actually got one not long ago for my own purposes — I often have a lot of products to sort through, and am toting a camera and clothes and accessories for a brand project, and it is handy (on wheels), sturdy, and folds flat under my bed when not in use. Niche but wanted to share in case you have a project that could benefit from a good utility purchase.
+Other very niche things I find useful in my idiosyncratic line of work: this garment rolling rack, this professional-grade steamer, this iphone stand and lamp base, VSCO and Lightroom for photo editing, InShot for video editing, the best notebooks in the universe, the inexpensive and unfussy planner that contains my entire universe, my Canon NiftyFifty lens, my tripod (I have a few; this one is most compact and configurable). Also: sense of humor and humility.
GARMENT STEAMER // CANON NIFTY FIFTY LENS // PHONE STAND AND BASE // BEST PLANNER EVER // TRIPOD // BAG ON WHEELS // ELITE NOTEBOOKS
+Lizzie Fortunato sale still ongoing — j’adore (!!!) this necklace!
+Related: noticing a trend with these big gumball style bead necklaces — I shared this one from Nicola Bathie and then discovered these!
+Ordered these back to school jammies for my kids as a little surprise! Already getting ready for the school year. All my latest BTS finds here.
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I love this so much that I just copied it into a note to pin on my desktop as a reminder of who I want to be.
Oh gosh – that’s so lovely! Thanks so much for letting me know. xx
Aww so much of your list makes me think of my husband— he’s always trying to leave things better than he found them. He’s constantly picking up litter, he always stacks plates and tidies the table at restaurants, bags the groceries at the store, he’s the ultimate hype man for all our friends/family, engages in thoughtful conversation with the kids in our extended family/friend circle… I could go on and on but he’s just a really good egg. Thanks for making me reflect on this today!
He sounds like it! What a great guy! He should be on this list 🙂
xx
These examples are 100% my husband. The other day my son’s friend had biked over and when they went to the front yard to play I watched my son turn his friend’s bike around so it would face our gate and not the house. I thought ‘that’s his dad’s influence.’ A tiny gesture, not very noticeable, but done to make someone else’s life a little easier.
OMG how adorable?! So sweet. What a gorgeous gesture to have captured!
Love this! What a cool kid you have 🙂
So much to aspire to in your list! Reminds me of a wedding about 5 years ago where I saw another guest in the lady’s room wipe down the wet counter after she was done at the sink. I was astonished – you mean I don’t have to just try to avoid the puddles on the counter??? I can take initiative and 5 seconds to clean up and make it a little nicer for the next person? Even though it’s not my bathroom?? It really never occurred to me!
I try to be the person who actually makes plans happen after the “we should get together soon!” conversation. And the person who sends birthday greetings (and who tries not to be bitter when many of those greetings are not reciprocated…but we’re all a work in progress!!)
Wow – what a great example! I aspire to be that woman too!
xx