The bric a brac of my week’s wanderings — things I learned and loved —
A Scrap of a Poem.
“And yes, it is spring, if you can’t tell
from the words my mind makes
of the world, and everything
makes me mildly or more
hungry”
-Ross Gay (from his poem “Patience”)
I loved the conversational tone, the line breaks, the phasing of “the words my mind makes of the world,” the slightly whipped-up feeling of reading it because of how he’s broken it up across lines. It is spring. It is things blooming, abuzz, slightly over-zealous. It also reminded me of that scene in the “Wuthering Heights” movie where everything Cathy looks at turns into erotica: the way our inner moods shape and color the world around us.
Simplifications.
From Jodi Wilson’s post on practicing simplicity, two gorgeous mnemonics I added to my notes app for days I’m feeling stretched-thin or fretful:
+”savour what’s satisfying”: the sorted drawer, the completed to-do, the early bed-time
+”make a thrifty choice”: have leftovers for dinner, repurpose something you own
I believe myself to be fairly skilled at noticing and celebrating the the pocket change joys, the micro-breaks, the lagniappes, but still — the idea of savoring the things that feel like closed tab, a perfectly-made bed, etc. Let’s begin to dog-ear them.
And I loved the provocation to “make a thrifty choice” — such a decision simplifier! How good does it feel to go halfway down a rabbit hole on procuring some treat or arranging some elaborate affair only to decide: “Eh, you know what? I’m going to wrap these flowers from our backyard with ribbon instead,” or “I’m just going to have people over for a glass of wine instead.” Children are such good instructors in this practice. For Valentine’s Day, I’d planned to order some cute popcorn stickers to attach to microwave popcorn bags for Emory’s classmates (popcorn is her favorite snack!), and then I went into her room one day and she’d cut hearts out of construction paper, drew on little cartoon eyes, and used pipe cleaners as hands to hold a jolly rancher she’d taped in place. They were adorable and — made entirely of things we had. A similar thing happened with my son’s science project diorama. He needed to make a clouded leopard habitat, and I immediately started wondering about what we’d need to procure, and he trotted upstairs to sift through his rock collection and to shape the animals out of clay.
Know Your Bailiwick.
A bit of a downer story to start with, but stick with me: my neighbor and I were talking about gutter-cleaning and how it’s one of those things in life you just need to outsource, and he told me that — years ago — a friend of his fell off a ladder and paralyzed himself! Afterwards, his friend’s often-repeated lesson to others was: “don’t climb a ladder if it’s not something you do for a living.” We talked about how this applies to other pursuits in life, too — anything with HVAC and electricity for sure, but it’s a concept I’ve been turning over for years now in much smaller and less hazardous realms. By this I mean: I actively grapple with the absurd thought that I can do everything for my blog and for my book by myself. Self-reliance is a good thing, but I am guilty of getting in my own way and bottlenecking progress when someone with more expertise could get it done much more quickly (and with a much better result). I’m not talking about the writing, I’m talking about the elaborate mechanism of scotch tape that holds it all together behind the scenes: the mechanics of publishing posts, of sending newsletters, of adding a book webpage to my site, etc, etc. Occasionally, I have even “injured” myself trying to do things outside of my ken — i.e., messing around with the technical parts of the site, and my blog goes offline. (Thank God for the ability to roll back to earlier versions.) One of the questions I have learned to ask myself when taking on a task: “is this my bailiwick?” If not, who can I find to help me with this? Don’t climb that ladder, Jen!
A Dream Writing Perch.
I saved this photo on Instagram and keep coming back to look at it. That happy, smiling white house! Its blinking eyes! That lush lawn grass! The brick-lined trim of flowers, the hug of fog, the mature trees flanking it! I want to live in that house and write all the way around it. You just know it has those gorgeous old home sounds: clanging radiators, creaking floor boards, a door that shuts with a thud and whoosh. This brings to mind, of course, my writings about my childhood home, though ours was stone and forested:
“When I think on it now, I think about the somatic experience of it: its peculiar sounds, and smells, and coldnesses. It was an old-fashioned house and I don’t encounter any of its signature sensory hallmarks on a regular basis anymore, and this lends a high-hazy nostalgia to it. For example, it had a screen door that scraped and then slammed too-fast on the heel and a marble checkerboard floor in the breakfast room that was heated in the winter by the enormous HVAC system just beneath it — not by design, I don’t think, but we made round use of its auxiliary benefit, laying our winter coats across it to dry or pre-warm. I think too of the mirrors that lined the entirety of the front hallway, from floor to ceiling: you could not escape your own study if you tried. And the carpeted “back steps” up to the second floor — the easiest way to sneak in and out undetected, always taken two at a time. There were gridded radiator covers built into the window beds, on which you could sit (not for long, or you’d boil) and watch the snow come down, and there was an apple blossom tree by the garage that rained petals in the early summer. Also: quirky hand-painted tiles around the sun room fire place, and a makeshift bed my Dad would lay out in front of it for the entirety of the fall and winter: two pillows, a blanket. That sun room smelled forever like wood smoke; even in the peak of summer, you’d emerge from watching a movie smelling of the hearth. The exposed, dollhouse feeling of that room on a rainy day still draws something soulful out of me when I think of it: three sides of it were enclosed by glass, and beyond it, foliage and a little jut of the gray flagstone back patio. The cold, damp earth smell of the basement. The sweep of the Georgian-style windows with their thin sashes and heavy iron sash locks, and their leniency with letting the cold air in. The swinging door between the dining room and the kitchen. The rose trellis. The narrow butler’s pantry where my grandfather made my grandmother gin martinis; the tinny sound of water pelleting the metal sink at its end. My father’s woodshed. The clang and terror of the furnace room. The click and whir of the rotary phone in the basement; the bell and clack of the companion typewriter in the attic. Pipes that ran very hot or very cold. Radiators that banged and hissed in the winter.”
Those memories, and the little fog house seen below, feel like an invitation to analog life.
The Plum You’re Going to Eat Next Summer.
With the weather gradually thawing into spring, I have been thinking of this poem by Gayle Brandeis I’ve shared at least two or three times here on Magpie over the years, and had to re-post today. The portrait of hope. Onward, onward!
Post-Scripts.
+More writings on growing up in D.C.
+On running into different versions of myself in Georgetown.
Shopping Break.
+Ooo this new Tuckernuck arrival! And this, too. Spring events, here we come!
+My favorite eye cream is buy one, get one 50% off. I know many of you have become evangelical converts, too. I was the most circumspect eye cream person before I found this — it TRULY makes a difference on dark circles. It’s sort of a hybrid between a cosmetic (it’s tinted / has glow to it) and skincare. I think this is the best undereye product — period — and it’s under $50).
+Quick – a few of my favorite Celine sunglasses were just restocked at almost 50% off! I have these in tortoise and pink. Great for petite faces.
+Zimmermann vibes for under $200! (Compare with this or this!)
+Obsessed with this night cream. Been using for a few months and I love the way my skin feelings in the morning. It also just feels GOOD to put on at night — my skin runs dry, especially in winter, and this feels like the most perfect hydrating texture. This brand is very under-the-radar relative to its quality, IMO. I first discovered it via their lemon toner spray, which I’m addicted to. I love love LOVE it. Instant re-order for me; just restocked. I use it first thing after cleaning my skin in the morning and night.
+Rainy, spring-like weather this week! I broke out my new cropped trench. I LOVE HER. The striped cuff lining! The cinch detail at the hem! The oversized pockets! The collarlessness! But it’s also a comfortable coat. Do you ever wear a cute coat but it feels constricting? This is a great light, drapey weight that feels like wearing nothing. I found a cute look for less here.
+I paired the above with a white lace-trim top (following the styling inspo in this post!)
+Another great look-for-less jacket: this red barn jacket (currently under $100) as a swap for my Alex Mill!
+Did you all get your Virtue Labs shampoo and conditioner yet?! I’m so excited for you to experience it. Reminder that the entire site is 25% off and free ship with code BDAY9. While we’re talking elite haircare, have to add that I think the single most effective product in improving hair quality, shine, strength, is this K18 molecular mask. I use it 1-2x a week and immediately see a difference in the softness and texture of my hair. The other product that has really impressed me this year (I’ve been on a journey to improve my hair health!) is the Crown Affair leave-in serum. I apply this the night before I know I’m going to exercise and MAN can you tell when you wash your hair the next day. It smells divine, too.
+Speaking of divine smelling hair: my secret inessential hair essential is this hair fragrance from Byredo in the clean “blanche” smell. I use it when I get what I call “restaurant hair” — you know when you leave a restaurant and your hair smells like food, fry oil, etc? This is also good for day-old hair. Smells SO GOOD.
+I had a few questions about the dress I wore here — it is Mirth! I was just looking at their gorgeous new arrivals, too — obsessed with this pattern/silhouette and this lime green blouse!
+Only a few of our favorite bandana wrap sweater left! (On sale!)
+My favorite woven bag, in a gorgeous new pink color! I have in the brown leather.
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