Rapid round of answers to your shopping questions on the heels of this morning’s more themed one:
Q: New children’s books. All my top picks here. Inspired by the above to read Where the Wild Things Are tonight, but my list has more off-the-beaten-path recs.
Q: Sneakers that can be dressed up but also support a spontaneous jog when on walk. Of course I love my Daybreaks. I have also heard the very trendy Chloe ones are ultra-comfortable/cushioned.
Q: Outfit to wear to Disney. A Hill House Ellie with sneakers and — c’mon! — something from Stoney Clover with a Disney patch. (Your little might need this or this?). She loves a theme! (And I’ve heard you can’t forget the stroller.)
Q: Gift for sister’s 30th birthday. A set of pajamas, a fun tote bag from The Jacksons, or festive coupes.
Q: Jeans for short legs. (25″ inseam.) 26″, but these are fantastic. I would size up one size. I found my true size a tad snug. Alternately, look for pairs with raw hems and cut the hem yourself. That’s what I did with these — currently my most-worn pair of jeans!
Q: Luggage tags to differentiate our Away luggage.These!
Q: Toddler girl swimsuit with sleeves.Minnow! (More children’s swim here.)
Ed. Note: Historically, I have referred to these shopping Q+As as “WYSF” (What You’re Shopping For) installments, but I had a lot of readers confused by the acronym. Retitling to the clarifying “Dear Abby” type title instead! Just a heads up on the name change. I will still be answering your queries!
I was surprised by how many spring bag inquiries there were in my latest call for shopping requests! Then, yesterday morning, I noticed a small patch of hopeful crocuses standing proudly, vulnerably against the gray and bare and I realized spring is not as far away as we think. Below, my top picks for spring bags, sorted by general use case.
Spring 2023 Bags for Everyday Life — Motherhood + Beyond.
The bags below are fabulous options for everyday bags — running errands, taking children out and about, grabbing coffee with girlfriends, daily schlep to/from a casual work environment, etc. Critical in my criteria for selection: all of these bags must be able to be worn over the shoulder for functionality. A few notes on particular styles:
01. It’s been awhile since I mentioned the M.Z. Wallace Medium Metro tote but I still get a lot of use out of mine for bigger adventure days with the children. (You can read a full review here.) I found this bag to be a workhorse when I was in the early days of looking after two very young children, and there was so much gear to carry everywhere! It has a zippered top and fits, like, your entire living room. It is large, so unless you have a lot to carry with you, I would pick another style for true everyday living.
02. I’ve had my Pamela Munson bag (large size, not small, seen above with white leather straps) for at least four or five years now and I still pull it out every single spring/summer and wear very heavily. It is a tad heavy, but I love the look and it carries a lot more than you’d think. I also appreciate the interior side pocket — just the right size for my phone. I’ve often used this as a bag when out with children when I also want to look coordinated/pulled together. Her bags are just spectacular in concept and quality. I get stopped about this bag regularly, still.
03. My most-worn everyday bag is my Goyard St. Louis PM Bag. You can find tons second-hand or in mint condition on Fashionphile, which is convenient, as you can only otherwise buy the bags in person at a Goyard store. It weighs next to nothing so is fantastic for everyday life / diaper bag / etc. I will say that it shows wear after awhile of heavy use (not surprising — I mean, I’ve used this bag every week for nearly six years). I need to have mine sent off to Goyard (actually, making a note to bring it up with me to NYC next time I’m there) for repair — they will replace the straps and reinforce the corners that show wear for a few hundred dollars. I love that it is highly lightweight, fits a fair amount, has a great shoulder drop (not too short or too long), and always makes me feel polished.
04. I don’t own a Naghedi St. Barth tote, but many of my friends do, and they love it because it has a kind of sturdy, neoprene weave that handles the occasional splash / sitting in a little water / at the beach / on the ground in dirt situation that comes with parenting and living a busy life. Love the Bottega-esque style and comes in great colors. Plus, a reasonable price for something you might wear just as easily with a sundress as you would with leggings and a sweatshirt. You can get the look for less with this Amazon score.
I selected work bags that could be more or less worn year round, as I don’t think I ever swapped out a bag for work according to seasons, but I understand that several of you are looking to make a new work bag investment. Some notes:
01. I own the Annabel Ingall tote and it is fantastic. I use it frequently when I need to carry a laptop and sometimes as a diaper/kids bag for everyday life. It is polished and understated. It is a tad heavy on its own and for some reason one of those bags whose leather smell lingers — not necessarily in a great way. It kind of has a raw hide scent. Just pointing out because, even five or six years after purchase, it still smells!
02. I own a Cuyana — not this exact style, but a similar one — and remain impressed with the quality for the price. I love that it doesn’t announce itself with big logos or hardware, too. I used to use this bag for work travel carry-on all the time as it was big enough for a laptop, polished, but I wouldn’t be stressed about shoving it under the seat in front of me (vs. my skittishness with nicer bags).
Note the dimensions for all of these bags prior to purchase relative to your laptop/technology dimensions. Not all will be perfectly suited for the larger Macbooks. But I also know some of us don’t need to carry technology back and forth, and are just looking for something with polish.
The just-for-fun category! I am personally lusting after each and every one of these bags. I really love Pamela Munson’s Lady Bag and might have to add it to my collection, though her new Sally style is cute and slightly easier to wear thanks to the strap. I own and adore my Amanda Lindroth basket bag (love the contrasting leather strap — the brown leather coordinates perfectly with my Hermes Oran sandals) and have the smaller size of the FRP Collection Sylvia bag below in a gorgeous mint color I wore all last summer.
P.S. Also had some requests for pretty Easter/spring dresses. I did end up ordering this one because I could not stop thinking about it, and it was (is) selling fast. I’m usually not this far ahead of the game but I saw it and literally fell in love and knew it had to be mine. More pretty special occasion attire for the season ahead in this post.
Above, wearing a Kule tee and these Rolla’s jeans, which are the best pink color. I sized up based on reviews, and they are a little too baggy. I would take your true size in these. They are also very long on me (I’m short — 5’0) — and will require hemming to achieve the right look. But they are SO cute. Love the front patch pockets. An easy way to elevate your basic jeans-and-tee uniform. They also come in a great taupe color.
There are many types of loss, and Gabrielle Zevin’s gorgeous novel invokes the permanent, abrupt, cratering kind. Perhaps not strangely, then, my former colleague Nate appeared vividly in a dream when I was midway through the novel. I think of him all the time — more than I did when he was alive, to be honest — because I drive by the intersection at which I learned of his untimely death almost every day: my invisible cross on the telephone pole. Last week, a discarded infant carseat appeared about two blocks from that site, at the intersection of Goldsboro and Massachusetts Avenue. It has sat there in obsolescence, gathering rain and dust, and every day, I wince at its premonitory presence. It is a haunting augur, two blocks from coordinates that already invite grief, though I tell myself the carseat must have been left there for someone to take if needed, or perhaps it tumbled out of the back of a pick-up?
No matter the case: that section of Mass Ave is a corridor that runs dimly lit.
But, there is this: in dreams, you can find things lost. Nate appeared to me smiling, fully rendered, as if in technicolor. Elizabeth visits with me there, too — less frequently now — but I also search for and find her in my writing. She will appear to me on the page, dressed in my own words, and it is the strangest sort of redemption: something I have willed into being. The crescents of her smiling, gently goading eyes, the flick of her Visitation lanyard around her finger. She is here; Nate, too.
Because of this tangle of emotional events, I have been reflecting on loss more generally. There are the Big Kinds that Zevin presents, the Nates and the Elizabeths. But there are also the things that just kind of slip away from you, dissolving against the force of time, distraction, other priorities. I am thinking primarily of friendships, but there are many examples in the realm of motherhood, in the geographies we temporarily inhabit, and in the general category of “gaining experience as an adult.” Elizabeth Bishop (a poet of tremendous personal significance to me) has a slightly pedantic poem titled “One Art” in which she talks about the accruing loss of living: “Lose something every day. Accept the fluster / of lost door keys, the hour badly spent,” she begins. Later in the poem: “Then practice losing farther, losing faster: / places, and names, and where it was you meant / to travel.” Finally:
—Even losing you (the joking voice,
a gesture I love) I shan’t have lied.
It’s evident the art of losing’s not too hard to master.
Though I hate that this is one of Bishop’s most famous pieces, as it presents her as a bit of a bluestocking versus the grounded naturalist she reveals herself to be elsewhere (the villanelle form feels coyly pedagogic), I relate deeply to the ways in which the small losses prime us for the big ones. But maybe, too, the big ones can help us prevent the littler ones. I wrote earlier that I will Elizabeth and Nate and others I have lost into my presence by putting pen to paper. I reach for them in my dreams, which are more often than not mirrorings of texts (like Zevin’s work) I have willed myself to read. Why not, today, take a minute to push back on the march of the quotidian, to reach for something small that has slipped away from me?
A hobby, a friendship, a devotional, a text thread, even a ten minute break to sit with your toddler doing nothing at all but clinging him to yourself, absorbing everything about his perfect toddler-ness?
+My neighbor has THE best hair — like bouncy supermodel waves! And she recently revealed that she uses this $70 tool to get them. My hair is too short right now (I have a shoulder-grazing bob) but I have this on my Amazon wishlist if/when I grow it out. She totally sold me on it!
+This cardigan arrived and is just, like, SO cute. I’ve been pairing with ivory wide leg cropped pants similar to these and a striped baselayer. I’m obsessed. It creates a great silhouette.
+This sunhat is SO cute. Would look so chic with a breezy cottage core-esque dress like this (which I own and love), this, this.
+Tevas have made a comeback and aren’t just for the earthy-crunchy set anymore: my niece and nephew had them in great colors last summer and I realized they were not only functional (lightweight, quick-dry, rubber sole for grip) but cute! Love this pastel pair for girls. Would look sweet with a little spring dress like this.
I received a number of WYSF (What You’re Shopping For) requests on sunglasses! Today, sharing a few favorite styles. I recently ordered these St. Laurent Kate Sunglasses (seen above) but have been going back and forth on them — are they too big for my face? I feel like they keep sliding down my nose? I LOVE the way they look on other people and have been stalking them for awhile now. They are so understatedly chic. (But, I’ve had a similar experience with Celines — I’ve ordered several pairs and all were enormous on my face! What do we think?).
What do we think? Do we love? I’m kind of inclined to keep them because I’ve wanted a new pair of designer sunglasses for awhile now and these are just so fabulous. That said, I have been really into these Chimis this season — I’ve owned my pair for a few years now — and they always make me feel fashionable. (P.S. Above, I am wearing the J. Crew cardigan so many of us ordered. You should size up in this if you’re in between sizes. I took my usual size — an XS — and it is a pretty snug fit. I layered it over a Kule tee).
One of my friends recently asked how I stay on top of household chores. Though my initial response was a cloudy “um, I don’t know? I just do it? Do I even have a system?”, I realized, over the course of our exchange, that I do have some fairly fine-tuned strategies for staying on top of household chores, and a lot of it has to do with grouping tasks at specific points of the day (or week) and doing them repetitively, religiously, such that it would feel strange not to do it.
The conversation was precipitated by her discovery that her older sister cleans the first floor of her house and makes all the beds every morning before leaving for work with a specific litmus in mind: “It should be clean enough that I could host a dinner party that evening after work and not need to do any additional tidying when I et home.” I thought that was an interesting, specific bar to set. My home is generally tidy, but there are about five discrete things I do before any guest sets foot in our home, and nearly all of them have to do with the clutter associated with small children. For example, we keep our dining chairs covered when the children are eating on them. We made the regrettable decision to buy upholstered linen Louis XIV chairs that the children have made quick work of destroying, and the coverings are the only way we prevent them from becoming fully saturated with berry stains, crusty yogurt, etc. (A Magpie reader, commiserating over this absurd purchase, commented: “I get it. I feel you. We have a rug under our kitchen table and there is only one question to ask for this design choice: Why?”). Anyhow, the towels over the “why” chairs in our dining room are an absolute eyesore. When I am feeling on top of things, I will remove them during the daytime, but usually, we just leave them on the chairs to prevent the Sisyphean cycle of removal and replacement at 2-3 mealtimes each day. So if guests are in approach, I will tear those off, clear the drying rack, shuttle all of the tiny toys that — despite our best efforts — find their way into our family room, shove shoes into the bench storage solution designated but rarely used as their home, etc.
But – I digress. Though our daily tidiness bar is a less impressive than my friend’s sister, it is maintainable and well-observed. My tactics are as follows:
+We make our bed first thing in the morning. A requirement for a clean slate to start the day. I do not make the children’s beds unless we are having guests. This is just one of those battles I’m not interested in tackling. I so rarely go in their rooms, the melee does not even register. Mini is almost of the age where it will become a part of her daily chores list (I had mentally dogeared “six years old” for this task), and at that point, I plan on pontificating about the benefits of starting the day with a clean room (“an organized house is an organized mind,” etc). But for now, I just say no and close the door. This is very unlike me, but everyone has a limit. Ha!
+Every day, we empty the dishwasher as soon as we descend to the first floor (we run it nightly after dinner) and clear anything we’ve left out to dry overnight (typically pots/pans stay out on the range to air-dry, and there are always miscellaneous implements).
+Once children are at school, I do a quick sweep to make the first floor tidy. This usually means putting away all breakfast clutter/dishes, wiping down the table, stowing the toaster in its cupboard, moving random discarded pajamas and socks up to the laundry bin, returning toys to their proper places. Having the house cleared of the breakfast madness makes me feel ready to tackle the day and makes after-dinner tidying much more manageable.
+We clear the drying rack during the dinner prep hour. Inevitably, it has accrued implements from lunchtime and dinner prep.
+I do laundry every Saturday morning — religiously and invariably. I will not otherwise run a load unless there’s an emergency of some kind. I then force myself to fold it all and put it away by Sunday evening. This is only true for garments belonging to Mr. Magpie and I, as our nanny handles the children’s clothing. If we did not have a nanny, I would probably do laundry Tuesday and Saturday and commit to everything being folded and put away by Wednesday/Sunday respectively. For some reason it is like mounting Everest to get myself to actually put the clothes away. I always look sadly at those baskets wishing they’d unload themselves, so I need the arbitrary deadline to lock me in.
+I launder the sheets every other Friday. This works well with our housekeepers, who blessedly come on Fridays — they will put fresh sheets on our bed and I will promptly launder and fold the spare set they’ve removed.
+I strive to keep counter papers to a minimum. My goal is to shred* or file every piece of paper that arrives in our house within a day, but sometimes, this stretches out to a week for various reasons, e.g., my children’s incessant flow of adorable artwork, which they love to show off and often ask to show to multiple members of the family. I feel like I need to keep these for a suitable amount of time before surreptitiously tossing them. (I do keep maybe 1/20th of the artwork that comes home, stowing it temporarily in my desk drawer, and then either chuck or keep in the large art storage bin in our attic.) I hate mail; the minute it arrives, I stand in front of the recycling bin tossing out all of the junk (90% of mail), and then place important items on my desk / Mr. Magpie’s desk. I also use clear folders to corral the mess of forms, permissions slips, receipts, etc into their appropriate categories. These really help me feel better about the flood of paper. Otherwise, that daunting pile just haunts me all week long! *If you do not have a shredder, I cannot recommend more. This one gets great reviews on Amazon. In Chicago, I had so many weird things happen to me and we discovered it was because someone was going through our garbage and selling the information.
+I go through my desk drawer once a month. This is my holding place for receipts, invoices, forms, art and notes from my children, and other miscellaneous important paperwork. I usually shred as much as possible but there always things to keep for taxes, in case of emergency, etc, and these I file in Bigso file storage boxes kept in my office closet.
+Back in New York, my girlfriend and I used to joke that once our children were asleep, we’d frantically race around apartments erasing every trace of them. This is a New York thing, but you have so little space that you need to reclaim it! I’ve remained in this headspace, though, even with a lot more room here in Bethesda. Every night, after the children are tucked into their beds, I clean the entire family room, even refolding the throws and rearranging the pillows. I make sure all toys are out of sight. I usually light a candle, restore order to the decorative tray with coffee table books/small objets, and move all children’s cups/water bottles into the dishwasher or onto the drying rack. It feels so good to have all of that put away before we can sit down to have a glass of wine or go through our “STPs” (Shoop Talking Points).
+Sometimes, I let clothes pile up in my closet or on the chair of my office over the course of a day or two, but this always feels like distracting background noise to me. One of my resolutions this year was to put my clothes away as soon as I am done with them. Sometimes that is not possible if I’m rushing out the door, but I do try to make sure all clothes are on hangers/folded in drawers ASAP.
+I keep two bags at the foot of my office closet: one for items to donate, and one for items to give to family members/loved ones. I try to proactively move items that are too small for the children into these bags as I observe they’ve outgrown them, but sometimes this happens in batches at the turn of a season. Having these bags ready facilitates the process considerably. I will stow anything I want to permanently keep in storage boxes in my children’s closets, but place other items here. Once the donate bag is full, I’ll take it to a local donation spot.
+Groceries — we keep a shared shopping list using the iPhone’s native “Reminders” function. Then, whoever is at the grocery will buy everything on the list. We aren’t particularly regimented about when we go to the grocery — to be honest, we’re there every other day or two — but that jives with our style of eating, which usually calls for herbs, veg, etc. that might not make it hanging out in the fridge for a full week.
+We also keep a shared “Costco” list and once it’s fairly full, we make a trip to stock up on the basics — you know, Bounty and Bonne Maman jam.
+STPs — this is one of the most useful habits we’ve instated as a family. Most nights, after the children are in bed, we sit down to quickly go over STPs (“Shoop Talking Points”). This is a great way of making sure we collectively stay on top of everything related to the house, its maintenance, organization, etc.
+Related to STPs — I think it is important to be clear and open about who will handle what, and under which circumstances. I have several close friends who handle the lion’s share of household admin with no recognition and no clear assignment of the role either, and have grown resentful of or frustrated with the arrangement. I always encourage them to have an open conversation with their partners: here are the things I am doing, would you be able to handle X or Y? Or can we take turns handling X?
Whew. I know there are other elements to running this house, and I will say Mr. Magpie handles a lot of the more substantive home care pieces, like HVAC, technology, gutters, yard, car, etc. But those are the top of mind activities.
How about you? What strategies keep your house in motion? How do you stay on top of household chores?
*Image above via @hillhousehome featuring @livmangrum in a piece from Hill House’s spring launch. I love the way she’s styling the nap dress!
Today at 12 EST (about 30 minutes from the time of publishing this!), Hill House is launching its spring collection. I haven’t been this excited about a HHH launch since the depths of the pandemic, though I do continue to purchase their pretty pieces (frequently!) My sights are set on their new $125 Delphine maxi skirt, which looks to be the perfect spring piece. I like the idea of styling it with a crisp white button down and ballet flats for a polished vibe, or with a cashmere crewneck and heels for brunch or a bridal/baby shower, or with sneakers and a tank for a casual moment. But I’m also drooling over their new green vine pattern, and wondering if I need a nap dress in the pattern? It’s giving Sister Parrish vibes. You can check out the line sheets on their instagram account in case you want to plan ahead, but a few pieces that stood out to me below: the new Naia dress (top left), the new Delphine skirt (top right), the new Collette dress (bottom left), and the new Simone dress (bottom right). My prediction is that the skirt will fly since it’s a new style and the price feels reasonable. Such pretty patterns and loving all the new silhouettes/shapes! So many of these pieces would be perfect for Easter.
P.S. I recently did a big try-on session in search of some new mid-winter wardrobe energy.
Totally smitten and satisfied with my spur-of-the-moment polo collar sweatshirt from Target the other day — sharing this along with the rest of my best Target finds for February 2023 below.
01. WOVEN TRIM MIRROR — SERENA AND LILY VIBES FOR $80!; CUTE FOR A BOY’S ROOM/FOYER
02. SAILBOAT DECOR/TOY — ADORABLE ON A BOY’S BOOKSHELF…THIS COLLECTION ALSO HAS CUTE CARS AND PULL-ALONG TOYS THAT WOULD LOOK PRECIOUS ON A SHELF/DRESSER
On our kitchen counter, Mr. Magpie has laid out rows of seed packets. I delight in their evocative names: Scarlet Nantes carrots, Rosita eggplants, Jimmy Nardello’s Italian Sweet peppers, Grandma Hadley’s lettuce, Green Arrow shelling peas (dwarf). The flavors, their intended participation in select recipes, suggest themselves. I learned that the USDA enforces standards for the naming conventions. One guide for seed companies notes: “Although USDA discourages it, you may use descriptive terms in variety names as long as such terms are not misleading.” I found a strange antiestablishment pleasure in thinking that the USDA might prefer names like “Romaine Batch 22,” but some farmer scrawled “Grandma Hadley’s Lettuce” on the line. The slightly worldlier version of myself imagines a table of marketers debating the pros and cons of such a name — “no, Grandma Hadley feels more rustic and traditional. Let’s go with that.” In either case: somebody, either brassbound or suave in approach, pushed back on the “discouragement of descriptive terms.”
I am aware I might be over-egging the pudding, but the names on these seedling packets reminded me of the transformative power of language, the way it can negotiate, stand up, provoke, invoke, talk back by virtue of its own expression.
There is a phrase: “Change your language and change your thoughts.” When I first heard it, I was learning French, and I marveled at the way learning a second language taught me a lot about the delta between my culture and that of the French, and also invited new trickles and curlicues of semantic thought. The fact that we use apostrophes for the possessive (Jen’s shoes) versus the more overwrought but elegant formula of “the shoes of Jennifer” (“les chaussures de Jen”) in French often made me linger a bit longer on sentence construction. I’d sometimes find myself, in English, thinking “the shoes of Jen” vs. “Jen’s shoes” and preferring the gentler, more fluid flow. (Though I would never have actually written it as such in English — I am a fastidious rule follower in most lanes of life, but especially the grammatical.)
But I think, too, the phrase applies to many different contexts. A few years ago, I asked: What does your internal voice sound like? I’d observed that, while running, I often spoke to myself pejoratively, e.g., “hurry up!!!” versus “you got this.” I made a conscious effort to change my own tone.
Today, I am thinking about the way I label things in my own life, and how those namings invoke mood. (Inspired, of course, by “Grandma Hadley’s lettuce,” and the attendant vision of a slow rocking chair on the front porch of a white farmhouse with a charming garden out back, a ticking striped apron, and tender green lettuce leaves laced with green goddess dressing.) What would happen if “bedtime” was renamed something else? The morning rush took on its own evocative phrasing? I’m not talking anything wild here; could be something as simple as “end of day wind-down” or “morning hum.” Mr. Magpie and I have a regular segment of our evening that we refer to as “STPs,” or “Shoop Talking Points.” I occasionally have items tick-listed on a notepad for discussion, but sometimes they are more ad hoc. The style is informed by our many years of running businesses together, but the subject is familial, trivial: update on the HVAC issue, birthday party plans for our daughter, should we sign her up for soccer?, etc. Incidentally, I like the bristly comportment of the title, because it reminds me that household admin is no slouchy, soft thing. It is a lot of work, and we treat it as such, dividing and conquering, moving briskly from subject to subject with action items delegated, etc. We are not overly formal about it, but the naming — the mood it invokes — is generative for us.
Writing this musing out on paper has led me to wonder about configuring my day around named, designated “email checkpoints,” because the flood of inbound email routinely frays my productivity. I wonder whether cordoning that activity off into specific parts of my day and labeling as such on my calendar (possibly with a chirpy kind of title) would be helpful.
What say you, Magpies? Is there any part of your day that could benefit from a re-naming?
+I cannot believe how popular this Zara dress for girls I shared last week has been! So cute for Easter/spring, and a great price. This $23 dress (also from Zara) is also precious for the season ahead.
+Into this tan striped colorway for one of my favorite tees. (Detailed review here.)
+Did you know you can buy Gap items via Amazon Prime now?! Amazing. They don’t appear to have the full inventory, but classics like their popular “Big Shirt” are now just a day away. I just ordered a new pair of these jeans for micro. I love their denim for little boys. Much sturdier than pairs I’ve purchased from Target (Cat and Jack) and Zara but not much more expensive.
+This jumpsuit is just SO chic. I have a few similar utility/boiler room style jumpsuits that I like to layer over turtlenecks and finish with polished ballet flats. Sometimes like to throw a scarf on to soften the look.
+Would also look good with some on-trend sneaks like these.
+I did order myself this cozy sherpa fleece. Such fun colors.
Gap has been a mainstay in my wardrobe for years, but I’ve been particularly impressed with their more recent collections. (I think we all own these fantastic Gap jeans at this point! — run TTS) Some more fabulous Gap finds below, February 2023 edition. I want to specifically call out this supersoft modal cardigan (seen above), ideally for layering over fitness attire when leaving the studio, and this reasonably priced swimsuit, which looks an awful lot like the Hunza G that should be arriving on my doorstep this afternoon!
Alert: This Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow book reviewcontains spoilers.
Gabrielle Zevin’s Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is a story of creative kinship between two gamers, Sam and Sadie, whom we meet as children and follow through their quarterlives. There are moments in which you think the two protagonists might turn lovers, and there is even a slightly titillating will-they-won’t-they energy that Zevin courts, but Sadie (and, it is to be assumed, Zevin) asserts: romantic relationships are “common,” while “true collaborators in this life are rare.” The fact that this message supersedes all else in this complicated, dark, expansive plot is a feat in and of itself, and an interesting “talk back” to convention. Though we are well beyond the era of “the marriage plot,” the book seems dead-set, even slightly elbows-out, about the fact that this is not a love story, and still, I wondered the entire time whether Sadie and Sam would end up together. What this says about how we have been conditioned, as readers, is interesting, especially given that the title of the book draws from Shakespeare, master of romance and key forebear to the genre writ large. Yet the title has been fully appropriated, de-contextualized from its original intent. In Macbeth, the protagonist’s “tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow / creeps in this petty pace” soliloquy laments the meaninglessness of life. Macbeth has just learned of the death of this wife, and is in despair. Though Zevin cites the referenced Shakespeare passage explicitly through conversation between her characters, she makes clear that, in this case, “tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow” is about the infinite do-overs of play. There is always a “start over” option in which we might go back and begin again.
The sad truth, though, is that life does not actually operate in this way. In fact, there are so many traumatic happenings in this book that result in ghastly and permanent outcomes that the characters’ obsession with the gaming presents as a coping mechanism. As a child, Sam witnesses a suicide, and then his mother dies in a horrific car accident next to him that leaves him maimed to such a horrific degree that he must eventually have his foot amputated. Later, a critical and lovable supporting character, Marx, dies after a shocking act of gun violence. These are plot events of the most macabre imagining.
Zevin doesn’t fully resolve the dissonance there. In fact, the third person omniscient narrator seems to hover unflinchingly, matter-of-factly, above these happenings, assigning less significance to them than, in my opinion, the mechanics of game play and the mad magic of creating them. In passages focused on the latter, the characters truly shine. I say this because when I think of Sam and Sadie, I think mainly of their brilliance while collaborating. I think principally of their spars over the marketing of the game, the way in which they find and console one another while playing games, their undying attraction to these other worlds they have built. I think much less about the traumas they navigate. And so, even from a rhetorical standpoint, the novel seems to enshrine connection through play and imagination as the ultimate achievement. It promises redemption and rebirth. The rest is, well, details. Pixels. Dust.
Zevin is a meticulous writer. The diction alone blew my mind. Susurrus! She uses the word susurrus! But there is so much more. For one thing, I loved the way the narrative structure borrowed elements of gaming. For example, she often interrupts the chronological flow of the story to return to a previous plot point as experienced by another character. The non-linearity reminded me of game play, in which you might “save” at a certain point of the game to return to it later, or start over, or start a particular challenge over, or — say — switch roles mid-session. On this last point: I appreciated the friction she builds between points of view. Sadie, as an example, appears to deduce the wrong conclusion from the discovery of a game on which her former lover had written her a note. She believes Sam read this note, immediately understood that Sadie was dating this man, and insisted she beg him for the right to use his game engine — using her as a pawn, or a sacrificial lamb, to achieve success in the design of a new game. As it turns out, this is not true — or at least, Sam (corroborated by Marx) say it is not. There are many moments in the story like this, when the characters strain to understand, and often misread, one another, and we are only given a fuller view of the interaction when the narrator “hands the joystick over” to the other character, (e.g., we gain omniscience at key moments). It feels a bit like Zevin is lording this over us, feeding us tidbits of key information at strategic checkpoints, which is to say — she writes this book very much as a game designer might structure a game. There is a deliberate sequencing and leveling up. You might argue that all books operate according to this general sequentiality, but there is something italicized about it here. Zevin goes so far as to have her characters directly discuss the ways in which gamers are artists, and it is impossible not to think, therefore, about the construction of the novel in similar terms.
This book is wildly creative; I’ve never read anything like it. I marvel at the expansiveness of the plot, of the way the prose dapples light and loose atop the atrocious tragedies that befall its characters. It is a marvel of construction and ingenuity from a narrative standpoint alone, and there is also the fact that her characters are gorgeous, drawn with stirring care and intimacy and roundness.
This is the most inventive, pleasurable book I’ve read in recent memory.
What did you think?
Book Club Questions for Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin.
What do you make of Marx’s character? Is he a foil? Why is he such a prominent “third party” in a story that makes much of the “creative friendship” between Sam and Sadie?
The novel engages with themes of “belonging” (or, put more accurately, not belonging): Sadie as one of the few females in her MIT program, Sam and Marx as mixed-race Asian-Americans, Sam as an amputee. What are we to make of exclusion/inclusion in the novel?
Why does Marx die? What does his death achieve in the novel?
What did you make of the chapter in which we are immersed in the game Sam has designed, following the characters? Did this chapter disrupt the narrative? Did it add something?
What do you think Zevin is saying about players and games?
+Over time, I have come to really love crossbody bags. They are probably my most-worn daily shape because you don’t have to fuss with the straps, and they are big enough to hold all essentials. J. Crew has a new one out in a pretty blue hue.
+These slides are chic! And $60! More Zara finds here.
+RMS Beauty just launched a new lip product that is intriguing me. If you’ve not yet tried their living luminizer, you MUST! It is exceptional!
+Two fun, well-priced casual coats if you’re jonesing for something new but don’t want a big investment as we’re midway through the season: this Orolay and this teddy pullover.
+Love a statement sweatshirt. This one is on my lust list.
Intellectually, this week was dominated by the completion of Gabrielle Zevin’sTomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, which I adored. A full review forthcoming, but — I savored it.
01. WEEZIE FRENCH TERRY ROBE. I speak in exclamations all the time on Magpie, but I want to bolden, underscore, and exclaim that this gorgeous robe is one of my favorite possessions. I have a heavier weight hotel-style terry robe from HHH, and I have Weezie’s short sleeved terry robe, and one might think — is a third robe necessary? It is. I cannot live without this robe. I love it so much that I’ve worn it straight into bed a few times, prompting Mr. Magpie to ask, “Are you now a robe-to-bed person?” Let me detail its virtues: it is a nice, thin weight that is easy to layer over pajamas without sweating or feeling bulky. I hate, for example, trying to get my children’s breakfast ready while in my big robe because I’m knocking over milk cups and my bulky cuffs are dragging through yogurt. This is like a delightful extra layer — almost the equivalent of throwing on a thin sweatshirt, but it engulfs your body with the perfect amount of warmth and softness. The belt also actually stays tied, which has never happened for me with any robe I’ve owned in my life. I think this is because the belt is extra long and itself the same thin material as the robe. The cuffs have a clever button on them so you can affix them above the wrist/at elbow more easily. And! I adore the midi length. I love this item so much — I wear it every night while getting ready for bed and every morning while waking with the children. And it’s perfect for getting-ready-to-go-out. 10/10 would recommend.
02. JULISKA BERRY AND THREAD MUG. I bought a few of these in different floral designs during the depths of the pandemic in a sad pursuit of trivial joys, and it continues to please me years later. It’s heavy-duty but has such a darling, feminine floral motif. Absolutely love drinking my morning coffee out of this.
03. BIRTHDAY VIGNETTE. For Mr. Magpie’s birthday, I made Bravetart’s “Easy One-Bowl Chocolate Cake.” Let me dispel the myth implicit in the name: nothing Bravetart does is “easy,” exactly. This recipe does, technically, call for one bowl, but there are (as always with her) detailed notes, temperature checks, semi-exotic ingredients (in this case, she specifically calls for this brand of Dutch process cocoa, which truly does make a difference and is exceptional), etc. This was not as difficult as some of her other recipes, but it’s still involved. Anyhow, it turned out wonderfully. A gorgeous, dense, moist crumb that is (in her words) “dark as a moonless sky,” an epithet that has whispered itself into the everyday rhythm of my life. I will be ironing, or running the mail out to the car, and the phrase will materialize — along with the vision of this mouthwateringly delicious cake. She, and her baked goods, have made such a deep impression on me! Strongly recommend this recipe for your next birthday, along with the suggested pairing of their milk chocolate ganache icing, which is very cleverly crafted (you essentially melt chocolate and cream, then let chill overnight, and then whip into frosting). You’ve been warned on the intensity of the recipe writing, though. Good idea to read the full instructions and ingredient list several days in advance of baking. Some details from the vignette above: the festive tablecloth is from Mrs. Alice (no longer available, though this is similar), and I was delighted to find, in my “BIRTHDAY” bin downstairs, these happy mini pinatas (which the children LOVED — if you really want to go all out with this theme, you can have the birthday boy/girl’s name spelled out in these letters as a fun tablescape or mantle decor idea) and these sparkly swizzle sticks, which I arranged into julep cups like bouquets of flowers. Do you have a birthday bin, too? I’ve found it infinitely useful for the little celebrations that sneak up on you — e.g., candles for the neighbor, that time my MIL came by for oysters and champagne on her birthday, etc. Fun to have a little box of festive decor up your sleeve. (And have I bored you already with how much I love the back room of our basement, which is lined with these heavy-duty wire shelves and Weathertight lidded bins, labeled in categories like EASTER DECOR, BIRTHDAY, FOOD GIFTING, RIBBON, etc? An organized house is an organized mind. My former Manhattan self squeals with glee each time I enter this area.). I decorated the cake with these overpriced sprinkles, which I think kind of made the look, and placed it on top of my new Mosser cake stand, which — it’s such a funny thing to say — is one of my favorite gifts I received for Christmas. It’s sturdy and dramatically tall. Comes in lots of colors — I really want the pastel pink now.
04. HUNZA G PAMELA SWIMSUIT. I did it! I ordered a suit from heavily hyped swimwear label Hunza G. Will report back. This style is more my speed thanks to the thin straps (and what a GREAT color) — but the classic square necked one is beloved by many. Will report back with thoughts. I am buying now, well in advance of swimsuit season, because last year this sold out in good colors by early summer. I also observed that, last February, we all bought swimsuits for the season ahead. (Or maybe most of you were headed somewhere warm?) More chic swim here.
05.AVENE BODY BALM. I’ve been on the hunt for a good, not-crazy-expensive body lotion. I’d been using and loving Byredo’s cream in the Blanche scent (which is absolutely heavenly — sort of crisp, like clean laundry), but I felt guilty about the price tag. Each application probably cost me $5? So many of you recommended Avene’s cicalfate for dry skin (but you use it more as a balm / in a targeted way) that I picked up both the cicalfate and the body balm. Will report back! A few of you shared that French women swear by these products, even using the cicalfate for diaper cream! I love a good European pharmacy find.
06. J. CREW CROPPED SWEATER. I mentioned this yesterday, but I snagged this cute cropped sweater and cannot wait to style. I’m planning to layer it over stripes.
07. ST. LAURENT SUNGLASSES. Major treat yourself moment, but I haven’t owned designer sunglasses in a long time because, about ten years ago, I splurged on a pair of sunglasses from Chanel, which I then accidentally left in the dressing room of a Naples, Florida Target (obviously never recovered), and then re-purchased, only to drop and scratch the lenses of. I took the shades into a sunglass repair shop and they said they couldn’t fix them / the shape of the lens was too difficult to replace?! So, in other words, I have felt tremendously guilty about my carelessness with sunglasses and disciplined myself by not permitting myself to buy a new pair. I’ve been mainly wearing instead these Le Specs, which I own in several colors, but especially like in the camel, and these Chimis. You know — sunglasses that won’t cripple you with guilt if dropped/left/etc. But! I have been wanting a designer pair for awhile now, in a sort of fashion-forward shape, and I’ve seen this St. Laurent pair on several chic peas, including Charlize Theron (above).
09. SPLITS59 LEGGINGS. People keep raving about these airweight leggings, so I ordered a pair to try. I have been consistent in working out every other day since the end of December, so these will be put to good use for spinning (which I’ve been doing when too cold to run) or doing core exercises at home (I use Apple Fitness+ videos). I’ve also heard that these actually double as daytime leggings — they don’t have the sheen/look of a performance-level legging.
10. VALENTINES. There’s still time! The cards I bought for my children to hand out are from Erin Wallace, but I think the window to order in time for Vday has been closed. You can download a similar design to print yourself here. I paired mine with heart popper bracelets, but would also be cute with mini bags of popcorn (we go through a lot of the ones from Lesser Evil — my daughter’s favorite snack!)
