Jen Shoop, Author at Magpie by Jen Shoop

By: Jen Shoop

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What are some of your most leaned-upon bits of wisdom when in the kitchen?

The first that came to my mind was the notion that the stove works for you. When I was younger, I remember frantically dicing last minute mise-en-place while the pan would sizzle, screaming hot. The stove was in control. Someone told me at some point that “the stove should work for you, not the other way around,” and I’ve never looked at a hot pan the same way. You can always remove the pan from the burner or turn down the heat. If you’re not ready to boil the pasta but the water is boiling, just reduce the heat until you are! The stove — temperature in general — is just one ingredient that you need to learn to control as you cook.

A few other random perspectives, secrets, and mini-enhancements, most of them less philosophical than the foregoing:

+Extend the life of fresh herbs by placing their stems in a water glass filled partway with water, just as you would cut flowers. Place a baggie loosely over the top. We’ve had herbs last at least 2x as long as they would in a little clamshell or just placed in a drawer this way.

+We buy spices in bulk (in the flat packs that ship free) from Spice House and then decant into jars that we sort, roughly, into two big bins (<<these are my favorite bins for organizing utility areas of the house; also great for things like batteries, light bulbs, under-the-sink, etc.) — the first for spices beginning with letters A-M, the second with spices beginning with letters N-Z. Mr. Magpie labels the jars with the spice on the lid (so easy to see from a birds-eye view) and the expiration date on the side (very easy to let spices expire — not that they usually turn “bad” or “rancid” but just lose their flavor / potency).

+On the spices front, if you buy spices in their whole pod/seed form (e.g., coriander seed, allspice berries, cumin seed), they basically do not expire. You can then just grind them (to order, or in smaller batches) using a spice grinder (we have two of these — one we reserved for coffee beans and one for spices, before we upgrade our coffee grinder to this — or you’d end up with spice-flavored coffee). This is an excellent way to prolong the lives of pricier spices.

+Soak fresh fruit in a solution of 1 tsp baking soda per 2 cups water, then drain and rinse. Baking soda acts like a mild abrasive to remove impurities and pesticide residue. There is some skepticism about the overall efficacy of this (how much are you actually removing?) but we do this for things like grapes and berries — you can really see a difference in the fruit’s skin. Especially grapes — always so dusty! Soaking them in water, period, helps, but the baking soda is an added layer.

+Read the instructions through entirely from top to bottom at least 2x before starting.

+Stow fresh bread (sourdough loaf, baguette) in a large baggie. If you stow in a paper bag, it dries out. The baggie does mean that it will lose its crispness/crust, but then we just warm in a low oven (250) for a few minutes to bring it back to life. This is the best way to enjoy fresh bread over multiple days — otherwise, it’s too stale by day two!

+Reheat takeout fries by spreading out on a large baking sheet (make sure fries have a lot of “elbow room” / aren’t squished up together / are in one layer) and spritz with Pam. Place in a 350 degree oven until you start smelling them (usually a few minutes). They are unbelievably crisp!!

+Two perhaps unexpected items we use constantly in the kitchen: our scale and our OXO funnels. For example, over the weekend, I used the funnels to pour simple syrup I’d made into a squeeze bottle and to transfer pancake batter into a squeeze bottle (you can make shapes / letters this way in the pan!). Also helpful when discarding used fry oil — funnel into a used plastic bottle to discard (not good to put down the drain).

+On the scale front: my baking results changed dramatically when I started cooking by weight. Temperature, brand of ingredient, variations in ingredients (e.g., fat percentage in butter you use, “fluffiness” of brown sugar, etc) can impact measurements! We also use to, for example, mete out dinner-sized portions when freezing leftovers. Mr. Magpie will usually freeze just enough for a dinner or lunch for two people in each baggie. That way we can grab and defrost just enough for a meal at a time.

+On the freezing leftovers front: Mr. Magpie loves his vacuum sealer. It really prolongs the life of frozen foods (no freezer burn / frost!). Also used heavily for cooking sous-vide.

+We keep our most-used kitchen implements in two places: a crock by stovetop for easy access (mainly spatulas, large spoons, and our spider whisk) and a large top drawer in our island, sorted in this organizer (quality is incredible and can expand/retract to fit your drawer’s dimensions). This top drawer includes: several sets of tongs, a whisk and mini whisk, peeler, two mini spatulas, wine key, thermometer, kitchen shears, microplane. The drawer is delightfully uncluttered so you can easily find what you need at all times. The rest of our implements (items used less frequently — chef’s presses, can opener, apple corer, different sizes of whisks, bench scraper, ice cream scoop, etc) are kept in large bins in the next drawer down.

+Speaking of kitchen implements: one unexpected one that has made its way permanently to “the top drawer” (e.g., heavy use category) is the strawberry huller. Our kids are fruit flies and we go through a lot of fruit — especially berries — each week. This strawberry huller has probably saved us hundreds of dollars in wasted strawberry tops.

+Use the reminders app in your iPhone to create shopping lists by store. We have ones for the grocery store, Costco, and beverages. That way you can just yell at Siri when you think to add something to the grocery list: “Hey Siri, add pistachios to the grocery list!” Mr. Magpie and I set these reminders lists to “shared” so we can both add to them and then whoever stops by the grocery next knows exactly what to buy.

+We always keep some butter at room temperature in our butter keeper. Makes it so much easier to spread onto toast or swirl into steamed veggies. We keep the rest of our butter in the freezer until needed. We buy unsalted Kerrygold butter in bulk from Costco. This is one of those things that is totally and 100% the “splurge.” Everything tastes better with good-quality butter. Baking, toast, etc! You will not regret it.

+Save deli quart and pint containers from takeout restaurant by running through the dishwasher. These make the best “mise en place” containers — we just label the top with contents using painter’s tape and a sharpie; you can then peel off the painter’s tape and repurpose. These containers are especially useful for stowing things like bacon fat — the plastic is pliable so you can really get every last bit out.

+Wash and dry the Kuhn Rikon peelers and any knives (we mainly have Shun for everyday use, and then. Mr. Magpie has an assortment of very fancy Japanese knives for specific purposes that I’m too afraid to touch) immediately after use. This prevents rust/corrosion. (BTW, just a random reminder that K.R. peelers are the most elite peelers.)

+Glass tupperware is generally infinitely better than plastic. There are the environmental reasons, and from a functional standpoint: glass does not warp, discolor, or take on scent. Works in microwave, oven, dishwasher. Our most-used sets are by Snapware and Pyrex. The Pyrex set has some particularly useful sizes — we use those little ones constantly for leftover small portions / cut limes or onions / etc.

+We keep lots of small cutting boards on hand. Great for dicing / slicing small amounts of things, making sandwiches, quickly cutting something in half, etc. My favorite are the hi-soft ones from Tenryo.

+Mr. Magpie regularly sharpens our knives (he will take his roll of knives up to New York to the Korin store up there!) — dull knives are a big hazard! — and oils our Boos blocks.

What are yours?

Post-Scripts.

+What meal takes you back to your childhood table?

+More of our favorite (perhaps unexpected) kitchen gear favorites.

+Kitchen gizmos/gadgets we love.

+A great, simple weeknight recipe. Probably best suited to spring/summer but sometimes you need a mid-winter palate cleanser. We also love this peel and eat shrimp recipe for weeknights.

+What would your last meal be?

Shopping Break.

+In top photo: our well-loved, dog-eared and oil-splattered copy of La Gran Cocina (our Bible for Latin cooking), a mini Epicurean cutting board, and a citrus press.

+J. Crew is running one of those epic extra 60% off sale promos. Boys pocket tees (Hill has these in tons of colors) and girls’ graphic tees (<<mini has this one) are a few dollars apiece! This is my favorite time to stock up on basics for the kids.

+I love my new Negative henley so much, but it is a tad revealing for public? I was just looking for alternative styles with more coverage. Drawn to this bodysuit style, this striped J. Crew, and this waffled one from Askk NY.

+We will have a lot of downtime in the coming weeks with no childcare, so I panic-ordered a ton of arts and crafts supplies in the middle of the night. I picked up this craft kit (Kid Made Modern ones are nicer, and make better gifts, but I figure this cheap set will be perfect for a long morning), some blank peg dolls for them to decorate / draw characters onto, construction paper, and new markers and gel crayons (I love the Ooly brand ones but was going for dazzling expansiveness with a lower price tag).

+Another idea, if you’re in the same boat: last weekend, Mr. Magpie spread a roll of Melissa and Doug easel paper out across the floor of our front hallway and pulled out all of our Ed Emberley books. The kids were hard at work for a long time drawing “a city” with different characters.

+These mittens are so fabulous.

+For my resort-bound girlies: this Juliet Dunn, everything Marea (especially love this kaftan and this mini), and a new Hunza G (<<so many fun new colors / stripes / options!)

+LOVE this entire lace set from VB’s new arrivals.

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By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A few weeks ago, I realized my son’s bedroom was in a sad state. We’d moved in over two years prior and he still had just the basics, cobbled together from leftover furniture from other rooms. I mean, he has everything he needs — more than he needs! — but the room was a hodge-podge and we still didn’t have an arm chair for reading him his bedtime stories. (A vestige from our New York life, when his tiny nursery couldn’t fit one! I used to rock him to sleep on the floor of his room, my back pressed against the slats of his crib.)

Anyway, I decided to focus on slowly upgrading his room, and we still have a ways to go (still would like to buy an improved toy/book storage solution and hang his art), but am sharing today some of my favorite little details.

The biggest improvement was this upholstered arm chair from The Inside, generously gifted by the company. (Pattern: “dusty blue odalisque.”). The team is offering us $50 off purchases of $199+ with code magpie50! My son has been so excited to read in it ever since it arrived, and it’s amazing to have a proper spot to perch when I’m looking after him or keeping him company in his bedroom. It is such a fabulous pattern, and surprisingly easy to mix with other prints/designs. I feel like so often the boyish patterns are stripes, so this ikat-ish one felt interesting and different. The chair is the perfect size for us right now — he sits in my lap or squeezes in next to me. I know he’ll spend hours reading in this on his own as he grows older (just as Emory does in hers).

I styled with this adorable Katie Ridder Beetlecat-print pillow from Lynn Chalk. I’ve always loved the Beetlecat print and would loved to eventually do drapes or even wallpaper in this print, if we can get around to it before my son’s outgrow the pattern! In the meantime, just a taste will do. (Also, a PSA that the pillowcase comes sans pillows, and you can always get inexpensive filler pillows here. Just be sure to order 2″ up from the size of the pillow case. So if you have a pillow case that is 16×16, get an 18×18 fill.)

The little woven lidded basket next to the chair is very, very old Crate & Barrel — you can see how “loved” it’s been. We’ve had it since our newlywed days for various purposes. (At one point, when we were short on space, we used it to stow bottles of liquor — we didn’t want them all displayed prominently on a shelf somewhere instead of our books / photos / etc so came up with this solution.) It’s since been used to stow board games, hats and gloves, and now toys. They still have a similar style here.

On his little side table (very old – from mini’s nursery!, but this one looks next to identical), I have this adorable lamp from Serena and Lily (the lampshade is such a great color), this race car piggy bank, and a little bowl my Uncle whittled him (not exactly sure “whittling” is the proper word for what he did, but he did make this out of wood from his yard!) filled with his favorite (and my least favorite — they just go everywhere!) marbles. And, of course, his Tonie Box. Still one of the best gifts we’ve ever given our children (and ourselves). Hours of screen-free story time.

He has Mr. Magpie’s childhood dresser in his room, too. I’ve written about this dresser elsewhere — I have a love/hate relationship with it. We updated the drawer pulls to these brass ones. Also above: his HomePod, a beloved recent addition. Both of my children sleep with sound machines on (a function of the HomePod), and they also love having music on in their rooms at all times. We further use this as an Intercom when we’re downstairs and what to call him for dinner / check on him! He’s long outgrown the space blocks, but the designs are still cute.

Micro still sleeps in a toddler bed (actually, it’s Serena & Lily’s Nash crib, which converts into both a toddler bed and a full size bed! — or at least the model we have does, but I don’t know that they still sell the convertible style). We’re going to convert it into a full-sized bed when he turns five (which is what we did for mini). I still love the crib sheets from Lewis (seen below) and Serena and Lily for him. I’ve had multiples of these sets since he was a baby and they’re still in great shape! The ticking stripe monogrammed pillow is old Mark and Graham (they no longer carry them — they were such a reasonable buy and I liked the monogram options!), but I also bought this ticking stripe set of sheets for the bunk beds on our top floor, which are similar and a good quality (no monogram though). My MIL made the quilt! It was Mr. Magpie’s as a child.

BTW, I feel like his arrangement of stuffies is such a second child thing. Just a ragtag assortment of inexpensive, drugstore-quality stuffed animals. He does have nicer stuffed animals, but he loves to sleep with this pile nestled in his arms.

Around his room: countless collections of little animals, little figurines, little cars, little everything. It can be a total nightmare to clean up (and a hazard for feet), but he does love them. Rug is Erin Gates; chair is Kartell.

I was going to tidy up his little “train table” (truly one of the best buys we’ve made for our children — it has a lip to keep all the Legos / toys on top, and you can buy attachment legs so that it becomes taller as your kids grow), but how perfect is this little snapshot? The mess of Legos, the random Packers pencil (he doesn’t know who the Packers are, but thinks it’s cool), the glow in the dark Vampire teeth, the smudge of marker. This is peak little boy mayhem. At the other corner of the table: his art supply caddies (tall one here), his water bottle, letters from his sister.

More to come! I do want to buy these under-the-table storage bins but in good time. Taking my time on this room! This has been our philosophy throughout our home and it’s serving us well, albeit taking a very long time.

P.S. Writing briefly about our NYC lifestyle above reminded me of this essay from years ago: “My New York apartment judges me.”

P.P.S. My A.M./P.M. skincare routines.

P.P.P.S. A delicious dinner to make.

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By: Jen Shoop

Last week, I told my mother that I felt like I’d lost a week of the holiday season owing to the stomach bug, and that I was rushing to make up for lost time. I hadn’t yet picked up gifts for our teachers or cleaning crew; the batch of sugar cut-out cookies we made on Saturday (recipe here) had to be tossed (we’d not yet frosted them, but we couldn’t have delivered them anyway given our viral state) and so we’d not yet made let alone passed out cookies for our neighbors; we were attending an annual holiday gathering late last week to which I normally bring some sort of homemade treat, but I’d run out of time; our designated gift wrap night had come and gone, neither of us able to muscle the energy to wrap (let alone mix up a cocktail – blech). We also have not lit the Advent wreath in a full week. I told my mom — more to convince myself than her — “But you know what? Things will get done, or they won’t, or they’ll happen after the new year.” As soon as I said it, I realized I’d hit on something. Yep. Who cares if the Christmas cards arrive a few days late? Or gifts are delivered on New Year’s? Or you hand out your cookies as a 2024 surprise? And I wish we’d lit the Avent wreath every night but the truth was that all of us were drained and needed to do the bare minimum to get by.

I mean, obviously, it’d be better to accomplish these things during the designated season but…! No one is getting injured if the cookies arrive as a post-season treat.

As the concept clarified, I realized what I needed to do was draw up a list of non-negotiables (e.g., I must get the gifts for our teachers and cleaners – they deserve it, and in a timely fashion) and what I intuitively referred to as “smidgies” (things that are a bit more fungible, like when and whether we deliver cookies).

I’m pocketing this concept for regular use. Here are some other good applications, again talking more to myself than anyone else, as I’ve basically sprained my ankle (and spirit) attempting to do every last one, not recognizing they were “smidgies”:

+Do the cupcakes for your son’s pre-k classroom birthday need to be homemade and elaborated frosted to resemble Elmo? No. You can buy the inexpensive (mini!!!) ones from the local grocery. Kids will be just as happy, and you can often find allergy-free ones to boot.

+Do you need to iron your sheets? No. You are just going to sleep in them. Nice to have but inessential and possibly obstructive to the art of living. I was reflecting on this the other week while making our bed. I used to insist on ironing our sheets when we lived in NYC. Insist. And, don’t get me wrong: freshly-laundered, freshly-ironed sheets are a spectacular luxury. But I think that it was my very small, likely misdirected, way of keeping my tiny corner of Manhattan clean and organized, as the rest of the city felt so wild and dirty. You’d be out there, in the begrudging elements, shouldering your way through the city and its occasional heartlessness, and you’d need to make your home a sanctuary in any way you could. And you had such a small space that you’d find yourself lavishing attention on each corner, maximizing its use, its peacefulness, its promise. In Bethesda, we can close a door on a full basement of scattered toys and discarded children’s clothing. “That’s tomorrow’s problem.” In New York, you live in every inch of your living space. There is no place to cordon off and look at tomorrow. Your children play in your TV room; your kitchen is not just your kitchen but another foot in which to find privacy. Your bed is one of the few places that is solely your own, and that you can keep as you wish. Anyway, I say this to make sense of my erstwhile ironing insistence, but now have the space to see that this is a definite smidgie in my current life. Something I’m glad to have let drop.

+Do you need your children to be perfectly dressed according to your own view? No. I’ve talked at length about this. I wish they would, but I prioritize their comfort and senses of selves and taste more. It’s OK if your kid is wearing the tutu for the fourth day, or the grubby t-shirt instead of the polo you’d bought. Better, I think, to protect your energy for other battles. (Again, underscoring I’m saying this to myself, as I’m still a work in progress here.)

What other smidgies can we unearth here?

I think this conversation is timely given the week. Like, now is probably not the time to start a new fitness regimen or begin to redecorate the living room or roll out a new, veggie-forward approach to feeding your children. We can take those on in 2024.

Are there smidgies this week that you can let drop?

Post-Scripts.

*Image above old, but there will be a lot of toaster waffles and “Grinch” viewings this week (exactly what was happening two Christmases ago, per the photo evidence above).

+This is another way of saying: there is probably room in my life to make space for better/more important things.

+Dear Dad, you were right.

+Don’t eat the caesar salad, or remembrances of my grandfather.

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+This $26 Amazon sweater is a great look-for-less for Jenni Kayne’s Cooper, which was JUST re-stocked after being sold out for awhile, and is currently 20% off with code HOLIDAY.

+Last-minute stocking stuffers for littles, all available via Prime (therefore saving you a trip to the store): Plus Plus tubes, sparkly headband, Washi tape (a Busy Toddler idea), Lego keychain, Ooly gel crayons.

+Very intrigued by these jeans. Not my usual style but I’ve heard the fit is amazing. Loving the cuffed look.

+If you have children, do yourself a favor and buy a pack of these zippered pouches in advance of Christmas. Great for corraling parts of sets together (markers, stamps, legos, doll accessories, puzzle pieces). I always wish we had more of these after the holidays! More under-$50 gifts and stocking stuffers here, but not all guaranteed for Christmas delivery.

+This dress is a party.

+Cheerful fair isle for your little girl.

+Fun hair clip. This was a Beach Reads and Bubbly find!

+Tis the season…for hydration. I’ve been refilling my water bottle every hour and carrying it with me all over.

+Every year, I think I’ll find a chic-er, more high-end option, but I straight-up love this no-frills planner. Lots of room for my never-ending daily to-do lists.

+CHIC ski wear.

+A GREAT Mango buy.

+Adorable reversible vest for a little.

+These terry-cloth pullovers are cute for your dude. Mr. Magpie owns a few of the brand’s short-sleeved polo style; love the idea of adding this to the rotation.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Above: Goop sweater; J. Crew turtleneck (old, similar here); LL Bean bag (<<free ship!).

Today is my best friend’s 40th birthday and I feel like I’m turning 40 today, too. I don’t generally attach much meaning to so-called “milestone” birthdays but this one does feel monumental — more from a personal timeline standpoint than anything else. By that I mean: for the past year, I have had the distinct sensation that I am closing one chapter of my life and entering a new one. My children are out of baby-and-toddler-hood, and we’ve settled into a long-term home and community. So many of the question marks that followed me around, shadow-like, for the past decade and a half, have suddenly turned into answers, with periods at the end. We are done having children; we have chosen the school our children will attend through eighth grade; we are settled, probably permanently, in the D.C. area; I have a clearer vision of what I want to do with the balance of my life, and it is to continue to write. Hopefully some fiction, definitely more essays, but — God willing — the pen will continue to fit snugly in my hand. I didn’t always have that clarity of purpose. I knew I loved to write, but I had other interests, too, and I didn’t know whether I could support myself on paper alone. We have answered those questions. In that sense, I’ve been “turning 40” since I moved to Bethesda. Or maybe “turning 40” is the wrong shorthand; maybe I’ve just been “turning a leaf.” One thing Mr. Magpie and I often talk about are “signals of growth.” We’ve gone reconnoitering for these signals in many different domains over the years: professional, personal, parenting, social. The enchiridion for this kind of scouting: You know how sometimes you realize you’ve been feeling a different way about things that you used to find either challenging or comforting or just status quo? For example: your job felt very difficult, or satisfying, or simply “doable,” and you realize one morning you’ve been harboring different feelings for a stretch? This feels too easy, this feels too boring, I’m just going to mail it in, etc? Or one afternoon you notice that the nature of your days has changed, almost imperceptibly, over the past few months? You used to spend all your hours doing x, and now you’re actually doing y and z? Or, you used to spend most of your free time with person a, and now you spend much more time with persons b and c? Or the communities in which you used to feel at home now feel kind of…frictional? Uncomfortable? You find yourself less at ease in them, reaching, almost without knowing it, for something else? Sometimes extrinsic things complement these changes: your boss is asking you to take on new kinds of work; you’re receiving more invitations to participate in new kinds of activities; different family members are asking different things of you. We call these “signals of growth.” Signs that you are leveling up. Indicators that you are passing through the threshold to the upstairs rooms.

This was perhaps easiest to see in past entrepreneurial contexts. One thing we talked a lot about in the start-up environments in which I worked for a time: “what you do to get your first 10 customers is going to be different from what you do to get your next 100 customers. And that will be different from what you do to get your next 1000 customers.” If you’ve ever built something from scratch, you know how true this is. Say you decide to start selling your homemade peppermint-and-chocolate drizzled popcorn that your family has been loving for years. Your first ten customers might be friends, family, kind colleagues, former bosses. You are going to cultivate a high-touch sale, with a text or email letting them know that (boot-kicking-the-ground) you’ve “started this little side business and if you’re interested, you can buy a pack here!” Or you might not charge them for anything — you might give them out for free and beg them to tell their friends. Then you go out for the next 100 customers, and you might have learned something about where your customers might be, and you go to those places and find them — Christmas markets, school sales, mom’s groups? You still might be charging less than you’re worth, and you’re probably driving around dropping the popcorn off between after-school sports and the grocery. But once you’re getting to the 1000 mark, your process changes again. Maybe you start selling online, or you’re contemplating how to get this into a local boutique. Each phase, you encounter what feel like insurmountable challenges, as you’ve just figured out how to do the last kind of “sale” well and now you’re being asked to innovate and draw in new techniques (and you need to start shipping! and figure out how to connect with the right person at the local shops!). But all of these changes are signals of growth.

This is also true in our social lives, in parenting, in personal matters of all stripes. As you grow, you might find yourself temporarily panicking or straining out of a former role/pattern, and you’re not sure why. You don’t usually have the discernible framework of “oh, this is just leveling up my business from customer level 100 to 1000” as outlined in the popcorn example above, so you must instead trust yourself to read the signs and have faith that you are on an upward trajectory. I saw a clip on Instagram the other day of a little boy — probably two years old — who was climbing on gymnastic ropes, learning to use his weight to hold the ropes taut. He was shockingly dextrous. He was smiling but focused. The voice-over said that, as a parent, you should not interrupt children when they are “doing dangerous things carefully — this is where we learn.” I thought immediately of Montessori, of how my children were taught to carry small glass objects around, and to pour from pitchers, and to use carrot peelers, at the age of 18 months, or two years. At home, these undertakings made my palms sweaty, but the truth is that they were given the opportunity to “do dangerous things carefully” at school, and this is how they cultivated fine and gross motor skills, and learned to take care of everyday household objects, and figured out how to move with grace throughout their environments. Growth happens in discomfort.

(As I write this, I am desperately trying to apply the framework to my daughter’s current reading tastes, as I know she is “reading [dangerous-ish] things carefully.” How do I scaffold the interest, while helping prevent injury? I’ve been reflecting on this deeply the past few weeks. I’ve decided I’m still generally anti-censoring-anything, but now must double down on my efforts to read alongside her, and have conversations about what we’ve read just after. This has been going well so far. I am always surprised and moved by her deep insights and easy sense of right and wrong. At the same time, if something is really too upsetting for her — that Guts graphic novel I mentioned turned her world upside down — my daughter’s teacher suggested the following language: “Reading is similar to watching movies and not all books are appropriate for everyone. These books are for when you’re older.” She also pointed out that “the fact that she found some content disturbing is also a good discussion point because she will understand why you shouldn’t read everything just because you can.”)

Anyhow — all of this talk about discomfort in growth might sound strange after I’ve just said that my most recent “leveling up” has been a kind of “settling down.” But there have been strains in the soft folds, too — mainly of the emotional sort. Did I adequately cherish my children’s baby years? Did we say “no” to opportunities in New York that could have been enriching, interesting, etc? And there have been many adjustments, and sheddings, and closed doors. I have seen myself try on new versions of myself, with varying degrees of comfort. Am I the type of mom who participates in the “mom’s club” at school? Do I involve myself in old friend groups from childhood? How integrated should I be in my neighborhood? There are so many places I could apply myself, and the stakes feel high as we will be here for a long time.

Again, the very nature and density of these questions suggests I am turning a leaf. Passing through the lintel from one phase to the next.

Onward — !!

Also this week…

+We saw Santa! The sickness gods smiled on us by not having us get sick until after this peak holiday event. Mini lost her front tooth a week ago, and Santa said he’d “try to do something about that front tooth,” and mini’s face was ablaze with delight and wonder. I actually got micro to wear the sweater he refused to wear on Thanksgiving (small victories — he didn’t even say a word when I slipped it over his head, and I’m so grateful I had the vague foresight to pick one that would work for both holidays). Mini had a gorgeous tartan dress but decided she hated it at the last minute (too itchy, too tight!) and I said “OK, that’s fine. Pick something else.” I’m not going to have her miserable while meeting Santa, and I’m truly done with the battle over clothes, full stop. So she chose this gold tinsel situation that I actually bought her for her holiday concert — her class is meant to wear something gold, and she chose it. So that’s where we landed. I love her little topcoat from La Coqueta (again, she picked the color!)

+The best photo I got of myself from Santa day. I had the cutest outfit on, too — this dress from Maxwell and Geraldine (not sure if you can see but it has velvet trim at the skirt and sleeves — also available in a gorgeous black swiss dot that is a bit more versatile for beyond Christmas, but still festive for the season — both on high sell out risk) and glittery boots. But my daughter was just out of the bathroom stall and it was not the time for a photo shoot. Santa was waiting! (I do want to wax poetic again about this ivory topcoat from Veronica Beard. She’s elegance, she’s grace. I feel like a zillion bucks in her. Styling/sizing notes here. BTW, I love my hair in the post I just linked. I had it done at home via GlamSquad and would 10/10 recommend this service again. Obviously, you’re always rolling the dice with the technician, but I’ve had my hair done at home via GlamSquad twice this season and both times were excellent, it is SO convenient (duh), and not that much more expensive than going to DryBar. I think it works out to being about the same dollar amount actually, but then you have the time-savings of not having to go anywhere, park, etc. Plus, I think you get $10 or $20 off your first service. Definitely worth trying. Schedule now for NYE! Treat yourself!)

+OK, also above: I’m wearing my Dorsey Margaux earrings (legit don’t take these off), which have sadly sold out, but these Crawfords are very similar and ship immediately. I have the emerald ones en route to me now. Planning to wear this entire holiday week! I’m also wearing this Dorsey ring! (More details on my Dorsey collection here and here. These items were gifted to me.)

+Below: delightful pour of nog, pre-illness. Recipe here. One thing we both love about nog is that you can mix up a batch and keep it in the fridge for the week in a glass jug with a stopper like this. (The alcohol kills any bacteria — people actually keep nog in the fridge for even a full year, so it can age! We tried this last year and didn’t love the flavor, so are back to just mixing up a match or two each season.)

+Fast-forward to 36 hours later, when this apple slice was the first bite of food I’d had in a full day. Yuck. When I am sick, especially with stomach ailments, I absolutely crave apples and apple sauce — I think because they’re sweet / so sugar-dense? And my body craves the hit of energy, as it’s running on fumes? This has led me to kind of dread when I “feel like an apple.” (“Oh God, am I sick?”)

+The morning after barfpocalypse, it had snowed! It felt like waking up in a snow globe. We were all (drowsily) mesmerized. The experience felt adjacent to the metaphor I’d danced with in this little musing on how, even during the longest and darkest day, morning comes. And sometimes earlier than we think. The arbor vitae below are one of my favorite parts of our property. The texture is visually soothing. Especially wearing little jackets of snow.

+My Sennheisers deserved a glamor shot in their pretty (cheap) new stand. I know I’ve yapped about these too much already, but they are easily the biggest upgrade I’ve made to my creative life in years. I am so much more productive and focused when I’m wearing them and in a flow. You know the general concept of “protecting your energy” and “protecting your peace” that is so popular (rightfully so!) right now? These have been a pathway to protect my creative energy and peace. I had not know how much background noise I was processing while in the throes of writing. I swear I hear everything that happens during my husband’s workday, and absorb little shadow energies while doing that! Anyhow, if you’ve been on the fence, this has to be your call to leap for them, because they’re currently on super sale. 33% off in select colors. Your creative spirit will thank you.

+Another little vanity shot, this time for mini’s new Nikes. HOW AMAZING ARE THEY?! They remind me of Marty McFly and she loves that the soles are blue (her favorite color). She was so excited about them that she didn’t want to wear certain pants because they’d cover the swoosh.

+[ED NOTE: I have to run a quick update post-publication and say that the whipped boyshorts from Negative are THE most comfortable, most flattering, non-restrictive, silky-smooth, attractive underwear ever. I hadn’t fully tested them prior to writing/publishing this section. I am hooked and already have several additional pairs in my cart. The only problem is that they are $$! You can basically get three pairs of the Stripe and Stares mentioned below for the price of one. But you will be obsessed with them.] OK, Magpies. I’ve been looking for years for good sleeping underwear. I’ve resigned to these cheap Plain Jane Amazon ones because they’re mostly cotton (95%, plus 5% spandex for stretch) and, well, cheap. (Size up — life is too short for too-tight underwear.) But they aren’t, like, the softest or stretchiest or most comfortable. However, it felt like all the other styles I considered were too pricey or didn’t look comfortable enough. I just discovered Stripe & Stare and I’m obsessed. They are silky smooth with a good amount of stretch (my personal preference for sleeping!). Instructions say hand wash but I throw in the laundry. If you’re a “grown up,” they have good essential color sets but I went with patterns — these and these. Also on the undergarment train: my Negative bra came (along with the rest of my order) and omggg. So comfortable, and saucy, and pretty. I am absolutely going to order myself one of their two packs (for a small saving). I also want to try the waffle style. I’m not sure, in full transparency, how well these work for larger chested women — they are fairly thin with no support. Also, take note of sizing, as I typically just order the smallest size, but ended up going with a 1 instead of a 0 in some styles.

+Shopbop sent me as a holiday gift this Lunya set. I’ve wanted to try this brand forever and ever but always felt like they were a bit too cool for me? I have never been so excited by a gift from a brand before — isn’t a good gift always the kind of thing you want but wouldn’t buy for myself? I am strangely fixated on / obsessed with the 80s style silk scrunchie. I’ve been wearing it around the house, washing my hair, etc. Small glimmer of joy. More of my recent Shopbop favorite finds here.

+Writing this while wearing this fisherman sweater. It is so, so good for the price. One of my friends bought a bunch in different colors to give to her best friends for Christmas!

P.S. “You can change who you are at any time. And with nobody’s permission.”

P.P.S. One of my favorite recent weeks of outfits. I loved everything I wore that week.

P.P.P.S. What are the traditions that matter? Important reflection point for me as I head into the holiday week and feel like I need to do all the things!

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Image above from our time living on the UWS — always a wonder dressed up in snow.

My Latest Snags.

My most exciting buy was this Chantecaille bronzing tint. Cannot wait to test! Will report back. This perfect-looking turtleneck from SoldOut.NYC is also on its way to me!

I rounded out my children’s stockings this week, thanks to one Magpie reader’s rec to check out The Busy Toddler’s guide. Click over there for some truly excellent stocking additions I hadn’t thought about! I also bought them wall calendars (his, hers) and Taylor Swift bracelets for my girl.

This Week’s Bestsellers.

A lot of great stocking stuffer buys in this week’s roundup! (My full list here.)

01. J. CREW CASHMERE SWEATER // 02. 4-PACK SLIP HAIR SCRUNCHIES // 03. J. CREW GISELLE SWEATER BLAZER // 04. TARGET GLITTER BOOT // 05. LAKE RELAX SET // 06. MR. PEN GIFT WRAP CUTTER // 07. HUNZA G SWIMSUIT // 08. BOMBAS 3-PACK // 09. CERAMIC BOX CUTTER // 10. YSL PUMPS // 11. HANNI SPLASH SALVE* // 12. DOEN KAIRA DRESS // 13. CAT AND JACK BOYS BOXER BRIEFS // 14. TRUFFLE POPCORN // 15. ADIDAS GAZELLES

*15% off with code JEN15

Weekend Musing: Many Callings.

I don’t know what brought this to mind earlier this week, but I was reflecting on a conversation I had earlier this year with a girlfriend who said she felt she hadn’t found “her calling” in life. At the time, I listened, and told her not to put so much pressure on herself, but I’ve felt ever since that I hadn’t really supported her. While walking Tilly the other day, I thought of her, and I thought to myself: “Maybe there’s no one calling per life anyway.” Maybe we have lots of littler ones. And maybe a calling is an obligation in disguise, or something we do without thinking about it. Like, say, care-giving for an elderly parent (I see you B.K.!) or being the mom whose house is always open and whose car is always full (I can think of several in my daughter’s class). Maybe “a calling” doesn’t have to mean a semi-spiritual quasi-creative journey, although I would argue that the two examples I just gave are close to godliness in my book, and both require elements of creative thinking and spirit, too. I am thinking, too, of how there are many things that each of us do with ease that other people find incredibly difficult. What are those things? Do you always give the best toasts at weddings and gatherings? Do people turn to you for career advice? Are you the mom whom others lean on for a second opinion? Do you connect lots of people? All of these things, I believe, are kindling for callings.

Post-Scripts.

+These sprinkle-patterned spatulas are SO fun. They spark so much joy!

+My bi-annual PSA that these inexpensive sheets from Target are excellent. I bought them as a back-up for our primary bedroom and they’re honestly nearly as good as some of our much more expensive ones. Soft, hold up well in wash. They don’t have the embroidery / designs / details of higher end brands but great staples.

+FUN patterned oversized cardigan/jacket.

+At H&M: this handsome fleece and this wardrobe staple camel sweater.

+I mentioned this brand earlier this week, but my daughter received one of these play silks for her sixth birthday and has loved it! She uses it for all kinds of things – dress-up, swaddling dolls, hanging things — great for imaginative play.

+These star earrings are SO fun. Also love these glitzy flats from the same brand. Predicting the latter will sell out quickly. TB has 1-2 shoes per year that absolutely slay.

+Fun little gift to self with your next Amazon order of garbage bags, GoGo Squeez pouches, etc.

+These have a Vuori vibe for a fraction of the price. (Or buy the OG Vuori style here.)

+Obsessed with these patterned cosmetics bags.

+A gorgeous top.

+Weekly agendas — love these.

+This striped dress (on super sale) is in my cart for Mexico. Also drooling over the idea of this Zimmermann.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

The premise of today’s post felt far-fetched when I sat down to it: I spent most of this week sick and in and out of pajamas, bedraggled and dehydrated. However, I will say that I was happy to have a full drawer of freshly-laundered Lake Pajamas (rotated in and out of these relax sets in particular), True & Co bras (the absolute most comfortable thing on the planet — several Magpies have written to say that the ones from Target’s diffusion line are identical to the real deal, so start there if you’re new to the hype!), J. Crew tagless essential tees (which somehow are currently sold out — why?! — I live in these soft, inexpensive wonders that have a thin, burn-out feel to them; I’m guessing the men’s version is similar and would be great as an alternate if you want to size up); and all my favorite sweatshirts (first and foremost and old and stained high school sweatshirt that has seen me through every bad day in my life, followed closely by this Spanx and this Alice Walk, seen above, layered over one of their striped tees — may I also note while we’re talking A.W. that their cashmere wraps are the perfect last minute I-have-no-idea-what-to-get-you-but-you-will-love-this gift?). Also, my favorite Nike socks and Hill House robe when I was shivering and the pajamas / bedding weren’t enough, and Uggs for padding around the house. It’s funny the way these things can afford a tendril of comfort when you’re unwell.

When I was starting to feel a tiny bit better, I wound my way into “a step up from pajama mode” by wearing these cashmere pants Haven Well Within sent me and one of my Leset pointelle tees. (Just after sending this, I joked to a friend that I was comprised of 50% Gatorade.)

OK, one big glimmer this week was looking down to see these mittens my SIL sent me from Norway. Apparently they are a very traditional design and come in tons of colors/patterns and everyone wears them in the winter. Every time I wear them (a lot in the winter), they spark joy and make me feel connected to my brother and his family in Norway. They feel so far away — it’s comforting to carry this little piece of their new homeland with me on my morning walks.

I did manage one very exciting look pre-stomach bug, which I wore to a holiday cocktail party. I can’t tell you how many compliments the skirt fetched. I wore mine with this J. Crew metallic turtleneck and my Michelle Wilhite clutch. Exciting news: my friends at La Ligne are offering us 20% off orders over $250 with code MAGPIE20 through 12/25. A great time to score one of their iconic striped sweaters at a discount. Happy holidays to us!

It wasn’t a great dressing week, but it was a fabulous mail week. I can’t wait to style these items, but in lieu, had to share —

This Doen top, whose details are just — spectacular. Like, the collar?! The pintucking? The sheerness of the fabric? The buttons?! Old world vintage vibes. I’m thinking of pairing this with a black velvet skirt for one of my final Christmas holiday affairs. All of their recent winter collection is selling out really fast so snag if you see something you like. Though I bought the top myself (as I have almost every other piece of Doen I own — which is a massive collection at this point), the brand did send me this dress and I can’t wait to wear it. I have a feeling the print will be very easy to wear the next few weeks — just throw on some velvet slippers and a chunky knit.

Also in the mail this week: the cheeriest fair isle sweater from Sezane! The colors are so funky and fun. As you saw in my holiday lineup, I’ve been kind of drawn to fuchsia this season, and how can we resist those gold buttons? Not pictured: this also arrived in the same box. Planning to wear for one of the nights leading up to Christmas where we might not have something specific planned but will probably see family / friends for a cocktail.

Finally: these cherry red Margaux flats (gifted!) arrived! I’m loving the idea of pairing them with something unexpected, like a velvet dress or a frothy blouse or just something to soften the squareness of a flat? Still ruminating. Of course, will also look fab with my go-to kick flares and a little blazer (<<getting so much wear out of this gal).

P.S. Love your answers to “What advice do people seek you out for?“

P.P.S. A color trend to try.

P.P.P.S. How my daughter’s eye condition has stretched my heart in new and unexpected ways.

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

By: Jen Shoop

I was talking to my brother the other day, and we had a long conversation about the recent-onset moodiness of our respective six-year-old daughters. It was wild, because my niece lives around the globe, and yet her behaviors were a mirror image of my own daughter’s! We were musing about the reasons for this, comparing hard-gotten hypotheses. One big one I threw out: this is a big year of academic transition for them, and they’re now a few months in and things are really clicking. First grade is decidedly different from Kinder: more rules, more academics, higher expectations, homework — and less play, less looseness. There are also burgeoning and complicating social dynamics. I have watched from afar as my daughter has shed certain friends from last year and gained new ones. This is to be expected, but all of these transitions and newnessnes mean that she comes home and needs to let it all out, and sometimes “letting it all out” is not particularly pretty. Anyhow, we are working through it, but one thing my brother observed was that some days (and even more narrowly, some times of day), he finds he’s more capable of working through the emotional melee, and others, he’s less. “If she has one of these outbursts on a Saturday morning while I’m lazily making eggs, I’m good. But on a weeknight, while I’m already angrily cooking broccoli on the stove? No.”

Our capacities as parents change day in and day out.

This is such a simple but astute observation, and it ladders up to our conversations about becoming an expert in yourself. Are there ways to anticipate and cushion when I’ll be at my lowest? Are there ways to lean into the harder parts of parenting when I’m more energized? For example, I know that when my daughter is very upset, I’ve learned that it’s not the time to try to trot out advice. She wants to rage, and she needs to let it out — not be instructed. (This may or may not be the case for yours — but when my daughter has a meltdown, I’ve learned the best path forward is to try to sit with her until it blows over, fully, and then slowly coax her back into a conversation.) In those situations, I often tell myself, “When she’s calmed down, I’ll have x conversation with her.” But my brother’s point made clear that it’s important to plan to have those conversations when I’m at my fullest and most giving as a parent. So — for me, and probably many of us — not between the hours of 6-8 p.m. at night. Of course there are times where something needs to be addressed immediately, but there are also instances where I want to talk to her when she’s in a calm frame of mind about how we could have handled something differently, or when I want to reinforce something in quiet, 60-degree-temperature chat. I’ve recently learned that I have a little pocket of good energy around 3:30, when my children come through the door, bursting with news from their worlds. I have had so many excellent and gentle conversations with my daughter right then. She’s decompressed (somewhat) from school on the way home or via after school sports, she’s happy to be out of her uniform, and she nearly always has something urgent and light-hearted she needs to tell me — “pizza day tomorrow!” or “I got a new book!” or “I made this in art class!” Just before bed, after she’s been read- and sung-to, is also sometimes a good time. We are both sometimes peaceful and wound-down.

I think back to the days when I had a baby and toddler, and geez! I wish I’d had more of this perspective then. Some days I simply did not have the capacity to, for example, let my kids play with paint, or involve them in a baking project, or take them on an errand. Sometimes I did not even feel like I could deal with cleaning up after serving them a dinner involving orzo or rice — it was just too much! (I remember weeping one morning as I picked bits of scrambled egg up from the carpet on my hands and knees.) Other days, though, I could handle these undertakings just fine. I wish I’d paid more attention to the differences between these days. Because when I pushed myself to move forward with something on a low-energy afternoon, I’d find myself cringing my way through — and what was that for? Who was I serving? Not myself or my children. It would have been better for me to feed them waffles (I remember a friend of mine responding to my scrambled egg sob story with: “that’s why I feed them waffles in the morning” — I think of her every time I put an Eggo in the toaster) or plop them in the bath with some Duplos instead. (A Magpie mom once told me that her key strategy as a parent to really young children was: “put a fish in water.” They love it, it’s an instant mood re-set, and sometimes you can get away with “sit-er-vising” — e.g., supervising while sitting on the floor of the bathroom without needing to do anything at all. Water play, preferably outdoor, is also a great “put a fish in water” solution.) Anyway, hindsight is 20/20, but I know I was not fully in tune with my own fluctuating capacities at that time. I’d just truck on through, like an 18-wheeler on fumes.

One of the big challenges of parenthood, though, is that our children are not in sync with our capacity meters. They might (often) ask a lot of us when we’re running on low. And that’s just how it is. We’ve got to muscle through and do our best in those moments. But to the extent that I can take my own temperature, I can learn to put off the things that can be put off until I’m in a better headspace, or at least see that I’m having a particularly difficult time mainly because I’m being asked to do a lot when I’m already over-stimulated/over-exhausted/over-everything-ed. And sometimes just seeing that lets a little air out of the bag, you know? Like, yes, this is really hard right now, because you’re being pulled in twenty directions and you’re a human being. Give yourself grace. Let yourself slouch a little. Forgive yourself for not being 100%. You’ll be back in the saddle soon.

Curious if any of you have any thoughts or intel on how to navigate these peaks and valleys?

Post-Scripts.

*Image above from our first NYC apartment. Mini was 18 months or so and I was expecting micro. Mr. Magpie snapped this photo and I love it, right down to the rain boots I’m sure we could not get our daughter to stop wearing that day.

+Motherhood is a surfeit.

+Maintaining wonder as a parent.

+All the wonders.

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+I did order one of the Chantecaille bronzing tints (<<20% off here if you spend over $200). I keep hearing such good things. I hear its less like skincare / provides a bit of coverage vs. Drunk Elephant’s popular D-Bronzi drops. (BTW, when I was sick earlier this week, I obviously did my favorite “secret single behavior” thing: watch beauty TikTok-ers. So many of them contour in ways I’ll never be able to replicate but I find it so enjoyable and relaxing to watch? The bronzing tint from Chantecaille is my way of dipping my toe in the pond.)

+Random, but I was just reading a Reddit thread in which people were raving about a jar opener. Not a can opener — but a jar opener. This one looks to be the best, from a brand I trust.

+One of Mr. Magpie’s favorite kitchen things: his vac sealer. This is helpful when he’s using his sous-vide equipment, but also for stowing leftovers. He’s obsessed. This was a gift from our sister-in-law and it is deeply loved.

+This chunky knit sweater is absolutely perfect. Like the perfect cropped length to pair with metallic jeans (<<the pair I have, just restocked!; look for less with these) or a sequin skirt (<<20% off with code MAGPIE20) or just old Levis!

+Speaking of my VB jeans, VB is offering 20% off its sale section. Tempted by this fabulous jacket (they are the queen of outerwear) and this gorgeous summer dress. Included in the sale: my favorite blazer of the moment and this spectacular gown (now under $300).

+When I mentioned I was eyeing a lot of items at Mate the Label for elevated lounge, a few of you wrote to say that you prefer the fancy sweatpants from The Great mainly because they “hang better.” I’m very intrigued and contemplating ordering both and writing detailed reviews for us all. Are there any other competitors I’m not thinking of in the category of higher-end lounge?

+FWIW, I do still love my Gap sweats. They’re a bit more retro / less slouchy than The Great, and not quite as stylized as the Mate pair, but they have a great fit.

+At the other end of the spectrum: two really elegant dresses I found recently. This one for a mid-winter wedding and this one for a formal luncheon or even a meeting/presentation of some kind (dress code / context permitting).

+Most of Little English’s site is 30% off. I love their patterned turtlenecks for my son — good time to buy for next year, or even the winter still ahead! He has the toy soldier one for this holiday season. Too cute.

+Thinking ahead, I love Lila + Hayes pajamas for my son but also their dresses for my daughter — they’re all really soft pima cotton but have a traditional look (like a collar, or a drop waist). Something my daughter and I can both agree on. This is sweet for Easter, and this is precious for the spring season more generally.

+Two chic cover-ups to consider if you’re warm-weather-bound in the coming weeks: this Sea and this Natalie Martin.

+If my son didn’t already have a winter jacket, I’d be all over this one. SO CUTE.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

So many spectacular new finds this week! A small glimmer for me: sitting down to a fresh batch of new arrivals from Shopbop with my morning coffee. I love to save my favorites to my hearts — it always turns out to be a seasonal mood board of sorts. From the composite below, I can tell I have my mind on holiday celebrations, fitness, and imminent warm weather getaway.

TOP ROW: FARM RIO DRESS // LA DOUBLE J HAT // BERNADETTE DRESS // APL SNEAKERS

MIDDLE ROW: LOEFFLER RANDALL SCRUNCHIE // PISTOLA DENIM SWEATER // CHLOE KRISTYN PANTS // UOMA BEAUTY CONTOUR STICK

BOTTOM ROW: FANM MON DRESS // BEYOND YOGA TANK // BEYOND YOGA LEGGINGS // CELIA B DRESS

P.S. Forget your perfect offering. Important reminder as I head into the holiday week!

P.P.S. On-the-go children’s activities (<<not a bad idea to stock up on a few if you will be on the road / going to family events / restaurants / etc!) and sensory play ideas for children (<<good starting point if you have a long holiday break ahead!)

P.P.P.S. On the notion of deep play for us adults.

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

By: Jen Shoop

*Image via. Sparking joy!

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Q: My almost-three-year-old girl. Birthday right after Christmas.

A: Happy birthday to your little lady! I feel you – it is hard to scramble into a second gift-buying spree right after the holiday! Does she have any Maileg mice or accessories? Such a sweet set to start collecting — we’ve been collecting since mini was born. Also love dress-up for this age — this set from Sarah’s Silks, a princess dress from Great Pretenders, or the Aeromax space suit with matching helmet. Art supplies are always a hit. I love the craft kits from Kid Made Modern and the implements from Ooly. Finally, a doll baby? Mini loved her mini carolle doll from 12 months until she upgraded to American Girl maybe around four, but I think a three-year-old would love one, too. She still plays with all the little accessories, especially this bath tub set my MIL got her.

Q: I love that Sezane knit dress you have but it’s sold out. Anything similar?

A: Love that dress, too. Actually surprised myself by how much I’ve worn it! Not typically a figure-hugging-dress kind of gal, but this one felt so much more wearable. Anyhow, similar, chic options: this Banana, this Boden, this Misa, this Vineyard Vines, this Staud, and this Missoni (splurge!)!

Q: A holiday party outfit when I’m still feeling a little postpartum. Looking for chic and cool. Sigh!

A: You need this Sezane! So fabulous but loose-fitting and comfortable. Parisian-chic vibes.

Q: Jersey-knit hot pink blazer.

A: I love this L’Agence!

Q: Women’s winter boots.

A: My favorite everyday winter boots are the No. 6 clog boots. Perfect with everyday jeans / sweaters. Go up one size in these to account for winter socks (and they run a bit small/narrow to boot). They are SO warm and comfortable, and I like the Scandi-chic vibe. They do work well in rainy/drizzly weather too. If you mean a proper snow boot? I’m partial to Sorel. I have the Joan of Arc’s from my heavy-duty-snow-days back in Chicago, but would have picked these slightly lower key ones if you live in a less frigid/snow-dense area. For slightly more stylish everyday wear, I’ve been living in these Isabel Marants. I love the way they look both with dresses and with jeans.

Q: Still searching for holiday party outfits. Festive but in Michigan.

A: Go for fun statement sweaters! I just picked up this beauty and she’ll look amazing with jeans and a turtleneck or gussied up over a metallic skirt. Also love this Anthro, this Zara, this Alex Mill, this Doen.

Q: Nice Christmas lunch outfit.

A: I’m thinking of a fab festive blazer like this, this, or this with trousers!

Q: Picture frame under $150.

A: Anthro has some really beautiful / fun ones. I love these striped ones! These marbleized ones also caught my eye recently. If you’re looking for something more classic/traditional, Pottery Barn has great options at reasonable prices.

Q: Question for a future post: casual everyday crossbody/bag (small) that has the ease and convenience of a belt bag but isn’t a belt bag.

A: I love my FRP Collection Sylvia bag for this use case. Perfect size, fun shape, great color options. I wear my constantly in the summer (I have in the mint!) but would also work well in winter months. Somehow the square shape keeps everything in place and easy to find.

Q: Shopping question for future post- men’s winter coat for January in New York. Appropriate for work but not too formal.

A: He needs this Herno! Warm but can be worn over dressier clothes. Also always love a wool topcoat. I like how men are styling these down these days — my husband wears over suits but also over his hoodies!

Q:For future post– word inspiration for a baby shower toast (my older brother’s first baby). The words aren’t coming to me!

A: This is so hard! My top tip is to speak from the heart vs. try to be funny (though there is so much pressure to be entertaining!) I would probably think about the traits in your brother that you think will make him an exceptional dad. Like what did he do to help “raise” you? Finally, if you can’t think of anything, the absolute best parenting advice I’ve received over the years, in various situations and permutations, is to trust yourself as a parent. You are the expert in your kid! Drown everyone else out and listen to your intuition. If there’s a way to fold that in, I know it will be cherished!

Q: Splurgey beauty gift.

A: This Susanne Kaufmann bath oil, which people absolutely lose their minds over (I’ve wanted to try for years!), or this UBeauty kit (currently 20% off!). Anything Chanel, too – the package delivers a major wow factor.

Q: Stocking stuffers for my husband.

A: I hope Mr. Magpie isn’t reading this far (if you are, STOP) — this Zippo match set (light even in rain/wind — great for an all-weather grilling enthusiast), this spoon rest, Marvis toothpaste, German mustard tube, Mack Weldon boxer briefs, back-up incense cones (we both love lighting our German incense smoker throughout the holidays, through NYE), Clarins skincare!

Q: NYE gown – black tie.

A: This Altuzarra, this Rebecca Vallance, or this Bernadette.

P.S. When are you at your best?

P.P.S. When did you meet your best friends?

P.P.P.S. Lots of good finds in my Amazon shop.

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By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

I mentioned last week that I’m intending to get ahead of my New Year’s goals by kickstarting them this month. One of them — honestly, the only crisp one at the moment — is amping up my fitness regimen. (Beyond this, I typically choose a word/intention for the year and try to return to it as often as possible in my reflections, writings, and the loose personal accountings I complete at the end of each day. In year’s past, I’ve set “gentleness” and “flow” as my intentions. I’m still grasping for 2024’s.) I had hoped this week to schedule my first personal training session but this weekend’s stomach bug as placed that plan on hold. In lieu, sharing some fitness finds to help me rev up for my fitness goals in 2024 —

01. I ordered these leggings and this cropped cami. The color is so good!

02. These long-sleeved performance tops (currently on sale for $21 apiece) are in my cart. Great colors!

03. Have been eyeing these bone conduction running headphones (Magpie rec!) for a long time. I keep sitting on them because I just treated myself to an expensive pair of noise-canceling headphones for my desk and it feels so splurgey to buy another set of headphones, especially when my current ones still (kind of, fuzzily) work, and I now have some AirPods that will no longer be getting much use during my day. Still, I recently went on a deep dive on Reddit looking for running gear recs and these were consistently mentioned as a “must-have” because you can listen to music but still be aware of your surroundings.

04. Love the look of these ribbed tanks from Lulu. Great colors, too. Perfect layering.

05. Speaking of Lulu, this $31 half-zip reminded me a lot of their scuba half-zip!

06. My favorite sports bra ever. Really soft / non-constricting but not as flimsy as most bralettes. If it’s clean in my drawer, I will reach for it over all of my other options. Just found on sale and bought a few!

07. Another top vote-getter via Reddit? The Garmin Forerunner watch. I own this, too, and I LOVE her. I’ve used the Apple Watch, too, but I prefer the Forerunner and she’s worked perfectly for nearly eight years now. She’s sturdy and simple and accurate. I like the manual buttons on the side because you don’t need to drag your sweaty fingers over the screen. You can pause/stop/start without even looking down. Sometimes “analog” is the way!

08. Love the rich color of these leggings.

09. My favorite running shoes, in fun new colors. The sparkly purple is the stuff of my childhood dreams.

10. Feetures socks remain my favorite ever. These were a Magpie reader rec years ago and I’ve never looked back. They are thick and cushiony and this particular style never slips down.

11. Another big conversation piece among runners on Reddit: a Flipbelt. I own something similar (this Aqua Belt), but this has been a huge improvement for me, as I’m nearly always running with my phone, keys, and card case. (And now Birdie, too, which I clip to my Aqua belt.)

12. Fitness headbands in the happiest rainbow of colors.

13. Closely eyeing a few of the sweatshirts from Varley. I love the length of this style and the way it cinches at the waist. Target has an inspired-by version of one of Varley’s sweatshirts for under $30 here.

14. FrogToggs instant cooling towel — amazing for the stationery bike!

P.S. While running a few years ago, I found that my internal voice was kind of mean! Thoughts on correcting that unkindness.

P.P.S. Grandma Hadley’s lettuce.

P.P.P.S. What makes you lean forward?

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By: Jen Shoop

*Image via Aurelia Demark.

I did not know how much I craved

the door closed, the final word, the circle back.

Was it intactness I sought? Some staged, even ersatz, gesture of closure? The fruition to which every good narrative appeared to progress: “the end” in droopy script letters?

Was this why I never understood Borges? Could not bear the asymmetrical, the dangling? (There are rules to follow — didn’t he know?)

But there are no straight lines in nature,

And real life bends and refracts according to its own temperaments.

I think a part of the wisdom earned by age is accepting that not everything resolves to a fine point. We may never get the the resolution, the explanation, the apology (or forgiveness, as the case may be). We may not find the caesura.

And yet —

“Everything is OK,” is what I tell my daughter when she is flailing and upset, whether she has been the culprit of the drama or its unsuspecting victim. This is my way of saying that feelings are not facts, that this, too, shall pass, that beneath the piercing intensity of the moment is the soft landing of her everyday life, in which her stuffed animals lay on her bed, and her shoes sit by the door, and her parents will read her a bedtime story each night before she drifts off into that hard slumber of childhood. Everything is OK — the reassurance to which I so often cling myself when I am upset, too. Not to erase the emotions, but to remind myself that I will make it through. To re-center. To draw all the good bits of my life about me, ramparts for the wounded. A girlfriend of mine wrote me a note when I was going through a tough situation in which she said: “I feel like objects of devotion are important in these times — like something you can wear around your neck or keep in your pocket to touch as a reminder that life is happening, you will feel things, and you will survive, you know?”

So, two strategies for this Wednesday, and I apologize for the heaviness of this post during this season of merriment, but perhaps you need it, too? First, to remind yourself that everything is OK, even when you are lost in irresolution; and second, to find a talisman to remind yourself “that life is happening, you will feel things, and you will survive.”

Onward, Magpies!

Post-Scripts.

+Foliage consumes stone.

+On apologies.

+It’s never the cream, is it?

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Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+My large Paravel tote is on sale for 50% off. It is SO good. It’s not waterproof but I do use it for pool days (also great for travel, picnics, park days) because it carries so much, is lined inside, and has pockets that you can use to zip up wallet / phone / etc. Really good for any situation you’re schlepping a bunch of gear.

+I know a lot of you bought this cult-following tee last week after I mentioned it (now only available for pre-order — keeps selling out!) — I have this turtleneck from the same brand on its way to me. You know I live in a turtleneck in the winter months.

+I have still not found my ideal Christmas Eve dress! I had been eyeing this Damaris Bailey but it sold out in my size, and now I think I’m drawn to this patterned velvet? Or maybe do something a bit different and go with this black dress (the bows!)?

+I wore this sequin skirt to a holiday party last weekend and got so many compliments on it. Two people separately referred to my outfit as “fabulous” and someone came up to me and said, “You must be in fashion.” HA! I was so flattered! The skirt is a winner. I paired with this J. Crew turtleneck and burgundy heels similar to these.

+Another good under-the-tree pick for kids: a wall calendar. My children love them and they are great for helping them visualize/conceptualize how far we are from certain dates (start of school, play dates, birthdays). My children like to x out each day just before bedtime. A lovely kind of ritual. This year, I bought this one for my daughter and this one for my son. One of my favorites from a year or two ago was this Snoopy one — comes with really cute stickers my daughter loved to affix to the appropriate date.

+I need some upgraded loungewear. This past few days of illness has made clear I’m set in the pajama department (though I do really want to add these to the lineup), but I am very light on winter loungewear (specifically bottoms) outside of true performance gear for running. Eyeing these from Vuori, and these from Mate the Label. Also loving these sweatshirts from Left on Friday?

+Love these puffy gold heart earrings.

+I wildly underestimated how incredible these acne patches are from Rael. Not only do they help minimize and get rid of acne very quickly, but the waterproof cover means you aren’t constantly touching the area and exacerbating the problem. A must-have.

+My favorite, most-worn half-zip is now available in the chicest blue color. The material is crazy soft.

+An easy formula for NYE: this $28 top and black jeans.

+This ring of hair clips is sparking joy.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A stomach bug made its unsolicitous rounds in our home this past weekend, and we are just emerging from the malaise. It’s been going around my children’s school (in one of the pre-K classes, 60% of the students were out with it last week!), and some of my friends and their children at other local schools have also caught it. A nasty business. This is my public supplication to pick up an eight pack of Gatorade, a package of mini saltines, and ginger ale at your next visit to the grocery store. (One Magpie also recommended stocking the freezer with Pedialyte pops for these situations.) We had two of the three tonics on hand but Gatorade was the only thing I needed or wanted on Sunday at 10 PM, and we were out, so I placed an emergency Instacart order (God bless Instacart!). I’d requested lemon-lime, informed precisely by these sentiments (ha!):

Haha! I was accordingly distraught when the Instacart shopper let me know the Safeway was out of lemon-lime. (A friend let me know it was probably she and her family who’d bought out the entire stock of lemon-lime the day before, when her family was struggling through the worst of the bug.) The shopper found one solo lemon-lime Gatorade in a separate cooler after checking out and bought it for me with his own money, writing “Hope you feel better soon!” I welled up with gratitude at the unexpected generosity.

Anyhow, we are through the woods. In my feverish, aching state, I did manage to reach the end of the Internet, though — and thought I’d share some of the fruits of that pursuit:

01. Have you seen The Velveteen Rabbit on Apple TV? We watched it together, as a sad, sick family of four, and it was the most charming balm. The morning after, my daughter reported that she’d had a dream she was the sister of William (the main character) and that when the doctor instructed his family to burn all of the sheets, pajamas, and toys he’d used while sick, she had gone out to the store and purchased him a new velveteen rabbit. She also said she saw herself in the little girl that lived next door (“I looked like her, and I would have also asked William to play”). I was touched and a little surprised by the focused ways in which she was writing herself into the movie, relating to the characters in specific ways and extending the narrative to include ideal endings she would have preferred. A specific kind of magic, to see your daughter reading texts deeply and imaginatively. May I also extol the virtues of a G-rated, 60-minute movie?! These are so difficult to come by these days. The film was beautifully shot, styled, and edited, and my husband and I enjoyed it as much as the children, who sat in rapt attention the entire time. Just gorgeous.

02. At the depths of my ailment, I could not bring myself to read, scroll, or watch anything on the TV. I find audiobooks ideal, non-demanding company for these situations. I put on Jane Eyre, narrated by Thandiwe Newton, and it was deeply soothing. I’d forgotten how gorgeous — ornate, and intricate, like a paper snowflake — the language is in the book, and Newton’s voice is spectacularly mollifying.

03. I signed up to bring in holiday goodie bags for my son’s pre-K class with another mom, and we both decided that in lieu of the standard goody bag of trinkets (dum-dums, stickers, stamps, bracelets), we’d buy one slightly bigger thing for each child. The goody bags always wind up much more expensive than you’d think, and most of them end up in the garbage. We decided to buy these “surprise Christmas squishmallow” pods — one for each child in the class — instead. I don’t know about your children, but mine are obsessed with Squishmallows! Both asked for them on their Christmas lists. We also talked about buying a bunch of Christmas board books so each child could pick one to bring home — that would have been the better, more educational pick — but we went with fun this year.

04. I ordered a few packs of this fancy truffle popcorn to bring as hostess gifts over the coming weeks for various holiday gatherings.

05. I’ve finished nearly all of my shopping, but still need a couple of stocking stuffers for the kids. I did buy mini some Taylor Swift bracelets and a Swiftie sticker to put on her water bottle. I always give them fresh packs of markers but am struggling with other ideas this year. Will report back once I work through this mental block!

06. I shuffled into and out of like five pairs of Lake Pajamas this weekend, and found myself longing to buy one of their kimono pajama sets. They’re made of the same material as the Relax Set, but I love the wrap style top. I also love this pattern they just released a few weeks ago. As I’ve mentioned hundreds of times, these make the best gifts. You can still order to receive in time for Christmas. If you’re procrastinating, just order a pair of jammies for your mom/sis/MIL and know it will not disappoint.

07. Speaking of comfort-wear, my order from Negative is finally en route to me (took a minute to ship!) and I can’t wait to try. So many of you have written to rave about everything this brand does. My exact order here — their “whipped” pieces sell through fast! I’ve seen a few pieces/colors sell out since I’ve purchased. I’m already itching to place a second order with some of their waffle collection.

08. Has anyone tried the athleisure from Mate the Label? I love the silhouette of this set, especially in the “bone” color. Heavily marketed to me while I was unwell this weekend and I’m falling prey.

09. [ED NOTE POST-PUBLICATION: Thanks to Magpie reader Caitlin, I now know the provenance of the reel I mention in this section: It’s from @chanwiththeboys on Instagram, and viewable here.] I wish I could find this Instagram reel, but I lost it somewhere in the past few days of illness — anyhow, it’s a video of a mom who works inside the home waking up at 5, making her three young boys breakfast, and talking about how she always makes herself “get out the door” each morning, no matter what. Even when it feels daunting to get three boys dressed and into their carseats. Even when she would rather just stay put. Her “secret”? “Lower expectations.” She makes the point that if her children are going to have a big breakfast (in the video, she makes them eggs and bacon and fruit), she is not going to have time to get herself properly ready, and that’s OK. Vice versa, too: if she takes the time to apply makeup, get fully dressed, her kids will have a simpler breakfast — cereal. And that’s OK. Sometimes the outing is just to the post office, or to the grocery store, or to the park. All OK. I watched this and thought how absolutely true it was. How much I have railed against these truths, too. I have wanted it all: myself, made up and dressed; my children, eating full and complete breakfasts and dressed in beautiful outfits; a full roster of festivities. We went to see Santa before we all got sick this weekend, and I was charmed and impressed by how beautiful the children in attendance looked — tartans, fair isles, knee socks, patent leather Mary Janes — but it mainly made me think of all of the invisible work that had gone into getting these children dressed and to the event on time. I did the same thing, of course. And I suppose my point is that everything costs something, or displaces something? And sometimes that cost is worth it. We want the beautiful picture with Santa, the memory, the feeling of festivity — that’s OK. But sometimes it’s not worth it, and that’s OK, too.

10. If you’ve still not purchased your man his Christmas gifts, let me tell you what the rest of us have: this henley (as I put it elsewhere, “guaranteed to transform him into a Yellowstone character” — plus, thanks to thermolite, has the warmth of a sweater and the weight of a tee) and this electric kettle for his pourover game (order by tomorrow for Christmas delivery). At Mack Weldon: my husband likes their underwear; great stocking stuffer.

11. A bunch of you ordered these faux wreaths and I think we are going to follow suit. In just two years of use, this will be a better value than the over-$100 wreaths we buy each year at American Plant. This one is currently $50 off.

12. Trending among Magpies: this Xandra bikini (Hunza G is THE BEST — I guess a lot of us are traveling somewhere warm soon?) and these leather-effect kick flares. Perfect with a chunky holiday knit.

13. Katie of Beach Reads and Bubbly (who also just recovered from the stomach bug!) did a charming makeup tutorial over the weekend and was raving about this Chanel highlighting stick. She made the point that it’s a great gift as you don’t need to pick a color that matches skintone (so hard to guess!), and it comes wrapped up in Chanel boxing — major wow factor. I kind of want for myself though. She also recommended this concealer, and it’s currently in my cart.

14. I just ordered my son an extra set of the Cat and Jack boxer briefs — his favorite, and currently on sale. We also have some of the ones from Primary, but the Cat and Jack ones are softer and have a better fit. Also such good prints! Just realized this might be something good to hang onto and put in his stocking. I’m so “pro” putting things they need in their stockings! My mom used to give us tape, glue, etc! We loved it.

15. Julia Amory just marked down all of her holiday pieces. I’m very tempted by the tree skirt…

16. When we went to see Santa, I wore this dress. I’m not sure you can see well in the photo, but there is velvet trim on the sleeves and at the hem — so cute! It’s 30% off right now if you subscribe to their newsletter. I wore with my glittery Aquazzura boots (look for less with this pair from Target!).

17. This cherry beanie is SO cute. More cute recent Shopbop finds here.

Have a great Tuesday, Magpies!

P.S. My most-needed sick day gear.

P.P.S. Musings inspired by my favorite Fleetwood Mac song. I sang this at karaoke the last time! It was maybe a bit of a buzzkill but I just love it so much.

P.P.P.S. Everything I ate in three days, a few months ago. I love these kinds of diaries!

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